Gretchen Rubin's Blog, page 15

What I Read This Month: August 2022

For six years now, every Monday morning, I've posted a photo on my Facebook Page of the books I finished during the week, with the tag #GretchenRubinReads.

I get a big kick out of this weekly habit—it’s a way to shine a spotlight on all the terrific books that I’ve read.

As I write about in my book Better Than Before, for most of my life, my habit was to finish any book that I started. Finally, I realized that this approach meant that I spent time reading books that bored me, and I had less time for books that I truly enjoy. These days, I put down a book if I don’t feel like finishing it, so I have more time to do my favorite kinds of reading.

This habit means that if you see a book included in the #GretchenRubinReads photo, you know that I liked it well enough to read to the last page.

When I read books related to an area I’m researching for a writing project, I carefully read and take notes on the parts that interest me, and skim the parts that don’t. So I may list a book that I’ve partly read and partly skimmed. For me, that still “counts.”

If you’d like more ideas for habits to help you get more reading done, read this post or download my "Reading Better Than Before" worksheet.

You can also follow me on Goodreads where I track books I’ve read.

If you want to see what I read last month, the full list is here.

Lately, I've been listening to a lot of episodes of Backlisted, a books podcast that I love, and many of the suggestions this month were inspired by the hosts' conversations.

August 2022 Reading:

This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Mosley (Amazon, Bookshop) — I like reading about the creative process — this comes from a renowned novelist.

The Beginning of Spring by Penelope Fitzgerald (Amazon, Bookshop) — This is a short, thought-provoking, mysterious novel.

Caldicott Place by Noel Streatfeild (Amazon) — I love Streatfeild's work! A delightful children's book.

Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany (Amazon, Bookshop) — Interesting sci-fi about a secret communication.

One Fine Day by Mollie Panter-Downes (Amazon) — A compelling, quiet novel about the post-World-War-II era in Britain.

We Learn Nothing: Essays by Tim Kreider (Amazon, Bookshop) — I recently discovered the work of Tim Kreider; terrific essays.

How to End a Story by Helen Garner (Amazon, Bookshop) — A writer's diary from the time when her marriage was ending.

Fixing My Gaze: A Scientist's Journey Into Seeing in Three Dimensions by Susan R. Barry (Amazon, Bookshop) — An absolutely fascinating account of learning to see in 3D at the age of 48. I will never take three-dimensional sight for granted again.

Frida Kahlo: The Last Interview: and Other Conversations (The Last Interview Series) (Amazon, Bookshop) — I love this book series, and this was an interesting quick look at Kahlo's life and work.

Miss Buncle’s Book by D.E. Stevenson (Amazon, Bookshop) — Absolutely delightful, a light story where good is rewarded and bad is punished or improved. It reminded me of Streatfeild (see above). I plan to read more by Stevenson.

Carrie’s War by Nina Bawden (Amazon) — A classic children's book set in the time of the Blitz; interesting characters.

The House of Sleep by Jonathan Coe (Amazon, Bookshop) — Amazing structure and a compelling story.

A Wreath for the Enemy by Pamela Frankeu (Amazon) — How did I hear about this novel? I have no idea — loved it.

My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley (Amazon, Bookshop) — Guardian Best Books of 2021 preview, Observer Best Books of 2021 preview, Daily Mail Best Books of 2021 preview — a novel about a woman's complicated relationship with her mother.

Maiden Voyage by Denton Welch (Amazon) — an author's account of the year he was sixteen, before World War II: he ran away from boarding school, went back to school, then traveled to China with his father.

What I Read This Month: August 2022

For six years now, every Monday morning, I’ve posted a photo on my Facebook Page of the books I finished during the week, with the tag #GretchenRubinReads.

I get a big kick out of this weekly habit—it’s a way to shine a spotlight on all the terrific books that I’ve read.

As I write about in my book Better Than Before, for most of my life, my habit was to finish any book that I started. Finally, I realized that this approach meant that I spent time reading books that bored me, and I had less time for books that I truly enjoy. These days, I put down a book if I don’t feel like finishing it, so I have more time to do my favorite kinds of reading.

This habit means that if you see a book included in the #GretchenRubinReads photo, you know that I liked it well enough to read to the last page.

When I read books related to an area I’m researching for a writing project, I carefully read and take notes on the parts that interest me, and skim the parts that don’t. So I may list a book that I’ve partly read and partly skimmed. For me, that still “counts.”

If you’d like more ideas for habits to help you get more reading done, read this post or download my “Reading Better Than Before” worksheet.

You can also follow me on Goodreads where I track books I’ve read.

If you want to see what I read last month, the full list is here.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of episodes of Backlisted, a books podcast that I love, and many of the suggestions this month were inspired by the hosts’ conversations.

August 2022 Reading:

This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Mosley (Amazon, Bookshop) — I like reading about the creative process — this comes from a renowned novelist.

The Beginning of Spring by Penelope Fitzgerald (Amazon, Bookshop) — This is a short, thought-provoking, mysterious novel.

Caldicott Place by Noel Streatfeild (Amazon) — I love Streatfeild’s work! A delightful children’s book.

Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany (Amazon, Bookshop) — Interesting sci-fi about secret communication.

One Fine Day by Mollie Panter-Downes (Amazon) — A compelling, quiet novel about the post-World War II era in Britain.

We Learn Nothing: Essays by Tim Kreider (Amazon, Bookshop) — I recently discovered the work of Tim Kreider; terrific essays.

How to End a Story by Helen Garner (Amazon, Bookshop) — A writer’s diary from the time when her marriage was ending.

Fixing My Gaze: A Scientist’s Journey Into Seeing in Three Dimensions by Susan R. Barry (Amazon, Bookshop) — An absolutely fascinating account of learning to see in 3D at the age of 48. I will never take three-dimensional sight for granted again.

Frida Kahlo: The Last Interview: and Other Conversations (The Last Interview Series) (Amazon, Bookshop) — I love this book series, and this was an interesting quick look at Kahlo’s life and work.

Miss Buncle’s Book by D.E. Stevenson (Amazon, Bookshop) — Absolutely delightful, a light story where good is rewarded and bad is punished or improved. It reminded me of Streatfeild (see above). I plan to read more by Stevenson.

Carrie’s War by Nina Bawden (Amazon) — A classic children’s book set in the time of the Blitz; interesting characters.

The House of Sleep by Jonathan Coe (Amazon, Bookshop) — Amazing structure and a compelling story.

A Wreath for the Enemy by Pamela Frankeu (Amazon) — How did I hear about this novel? I have no idea — loved it.

My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley (Amazon, Bookshop) — Guardian Best Books of 2021 preview, Observer Best Books of 2021 preview, Daily Mail Best Books of 2021 preview — a novel about a woman’s complicated relationship with her mother.

Maiden Voyage by Denton Welch (Amazon) — an author’s account of the year he was sixteen, before World War II: he ran away from boarding school, went back to school, then traveled to China with his father.

The post What I Read This Month: August 2022 appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

Author Interview: Shana Lebowitz Gaynor

Interview: Shana Lebowitz Gaynor

Shana Lebowitz Gaynor is a correspondent for Insider, where she covers career development and workplace culture. Her new book, Don't Call It Quits: Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Love (Amazon, Bookshop), just hit shelves.

I couldn't wait to talk to Shana about happiness, habits, and work.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity or habit that consistently makes you happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Shana: Reading. Specifically, reading novels. More specifically, reading novels on the subway. I find it’s the only activity that consistently relaxes me, though I can’t say why with any certainty. Maybe it’s because I lose myself, so to speak, in the narrative. Or maybe it’s because the text sparks the kind of creativity you mentioned by bringing up new ideas and feelings. I used to read during my morning and evening commute; now that I’m working from home I do it much less often. I’ve been thinking about ways to add that back into my daily routine.

You’ve done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you – or your readers – most?

Thank you for saying so! I’m still surprised when I tell someone about the premise of Don’t Call It Quits (learn how to craft a more fulfilling work life without quitting a job you don’t love) and they tell me that they’ve done something like that in their career. It happens all the time. So I’d remind anyone who’s currently feeling frustrated in their career that they’re not alone, and that there are plenty of relatively simple ways to get unstuck.

Would you describe yourself as an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?

When I first read The Four Tendencies, I identified most closely with the Obliger profile — but knowing that’s the most common profile, I wished I could choose another instead! Alas, I’m just now, in my thirties, beginning to accept that the only way I’ll achieve a personal goal (like practicing yoga more often or more reliably returning calls from friends) is to have someone else hold me accountable. That said, I see some of myself in all four profiles. I refuse to accept book recommendations, for example, and will actively avoid current bestsellers because I don’t want others’ tastes to determine my own selections — a Rebellious tendency for sure!

Does anything tend to interfere with your ability to keep your healthy habits or your happiness?

My thoughts veer often into existential, and sometimes morbid, territory. (The meaning of life, the inevitability of death, etc.) I’m not sure these existential meanderings are uniformly unproductive, but I do find it’s easier to get through the day when I don’t engage in them!

Have you ever been hit by a lightning bolt, where you made a major change very suddenly, as a consequence of reading a book, a conversation with a friend, a milestone birthday, a health scare, etc.?

I became a vegetarian almost immediately after I read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer (Amazon, Bookshop) in 2012. I’d been teetering on the edge of that change for a while, but Safran Foer’s argument was convincing enough (and the imagery he uses was disturbing enough) that it pushed me to make the change.

Has a book ever changed your life – if so, which one and why?

Many, many books have changed the way I see the world. I could hardly name them all. While on maternity leave earlier this year, I read A Life’s Work (Amazon, Bookshop), Rachel Cusk’s memoir of early motherhood, and I was struck by how deftly Cusk articulated some of the experiences I was having at that very moment. In one chapter, she describes feeling naked and self-conscious when in public without her child and I was heartened to learn that I wasn’t the only new mother to feel this way.

In your field, is there a common misconception that you’d like to correct?

I think many professionals believe that quitting their job will help them feel happier at work. Sometimes this is true — but often it isn’t!

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Know Yourself Better: What Kind of Procrastinator Are You?

On the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, Elizabeth and I often pose "know yourself better" questions. It's surprisingly hard to know ourselves! When we get better insight into our own values, quirks, and nature, we often identify patterns or spot possibilities to make ourselves happier, healthier, more creative — and more productive.

In episode 391, in a discussion of productivity, we asked listeners, "What kind of procrastinator are you?"

We identified several kinds:

Procrasti-clearing or procrasti-cleaning — I write about this challenge in my book Outer Order, Inner Calm Procrasti-creating — I remind myself that "Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination." For all my fellow Game of Thrones lovers, it sure seems as if George R. R. Martin is procrasti-creating about finishing The Winds of Winter.Procrati-viewing — we've all done it!Procrasti-scrolling — and the related procrasti-shoppingProcrastic-waiting — wait for someone else to encourage you or invite you to go ahead, such as a mentor or advocateProcrasti-gaming — Elizabeth mentions our Try-This-at-Home suggestion to "Delete a soul-sucking app" from episode 91Procrasti-claiming — making questionable claims about the rules that apply or limitations that exist: "I can't work at night," "I'll do better if I begin in the new year"

After the episode aired, listeners identified additional forms of procrastination:

Procrasti-snacking — so common!Procrasti-caffeinating — can't start without a beverageProcrasti-researching — this is a particular issue for Questioners, who can fall into analysis-paralysisProcrastic-caring — putting off your own task because you're caring for someone else's wants first. One listener made a helpful point: "The first step in eliminating this one is defining wants vs. needs for the people in your life. Children need to be fed, but they may be picky and want elaborate kinds of meals that take way too much time and effort."

Sometimes, as many people observed, a bit of procrastination can be useful:

"I use housework to procrastinate on writing, but sometimes it works since mindless activity can let my brain develop ideas and get that 'aha' to break through blocks.""Sometimes, doing a quick and easy task helps me overcome the anxiety of tackling a big or overwhelming project.""I have to get all the stuff on my phone done before I can focus on other stuff, or else it just bugs me and keeps my mind distracted."

The key is to make sure that this kind of procrastination is limited, so that it doesn't take up so much time and energy that we don't tackle the main task.

Elizabeth had a helpful way to decide whether a form of procrastination is helpful, by thinking about the idea of mise-en-place. In cooking, you "put everything in its place" — you pull tools and ingredients together, so once you begin, you can work easily and efficiently. Elizabeth told me, "We can ask ourselves, is this mise-en-place? Am I clearing off my desk so I can settle down? Am I getting a cup of coffee to help me tackle my work, or am I preparing an elaborate meal?"

As with any know-yourself-better question, clarity brings insight. Once we know the kinds of procrastination we tend to use, we can more easily spot unhelpful patterns.

Also, keep in mind that there's a difference between "sprinting" and "procrastinating." Sprinters deliberately wait for the pressure of a deadline to help clarify their thinking and boost their energy. By contrast, with procrastination, people feel as though they should be working, and they wish they could work, but somehow they can't make themselves.

Most of us probably have a few favorite forms of procrastination.

Mine are: procrasti-clearing, procrasti-creating, procrasti-claiming, and procrasti-caffeinating. Now that I know this aspect of myself, I can better guard against falling into this kind of delay.

How about you — if you procrastinate, what categories appeal most to you? How do you guard against them?

Author Interview: Seth Goldenberg

Interview: Seth Goldenberg 

Seth Goldenberg is a designer, activist, and social entrepreneur who harnesses the power of questioning to catalyze innovation and cultural change. He is the founder and CEO of Curiosity & Co., and his work has been featured in The New York Times, Wired, and Fast Company. His new book, Radical Curiosity: Questioning Commonly Held Beliefs to Imagine Flourishing Futures (Amazon, Bookshop) hit shelves this week.

I couldn't wait to talk to Seth about happiness, habits, and creativity.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity or habit that consistently makes you happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Seth: Drawing. I began my path as an artist, exhibiting my paintings in galleries by the age of eleven. Drawing was a way of seeing, of listening and making sense of the world. In my youth drawing became a ritual as central as breathing.  In fact, in a chapter called “May We Never Grow Up” I describe drawing as a ritual for creative wandering and thinking. Today I use drawing as a visual language to develop new ideas, find ways to communicate mental models and experiment with strategies for change. Drawing never ceases to give me a ritualistic pleasure as an artist and an entrepreneur.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

When I was 18 years old I was attending the Rhode Island School of Design. A creative education there felt surprisingly isolating.  The Bauhaus model of making was private and production oriented. I now know about myself that I am lit up by collaborating with others. A social connectedness with an ensemble team is where I thrive. And more than this, I feel fulfilled by a sense of purpose.  I feel a deep responsibility to meaningfully contribute to the world. I find personal happiness cooperatively working with others on thorny, wicked challenges, that have a shot at making extraordinary contributions to civic society.

You’ve done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you – or your readers – most?

I don’t practice academic or traditional research. But I view the practice of Radical Curiosity as itself a lifestyle of active research. I like to think about research as the pursuit of new knowledge or the creation of new wisdom. To conduct breakthroughs, we need to question everything. Likely in ways that will make us uncomfortable. When things have gotten this wobbly in the world it’s time to question the very roots of our assumptions. This can upend core beliefs and challenge our very values.  Radical Curiosity codifies how I and my design studio have made a life of questioning. What has surprised me is how rare radical questioning is amongst leaders, across every industry. It is what has compelled me to write the book.

Would you describe yourself as an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?

I took the quiz and the result was an Obliger. I would have envisioned some hybrid across Questioner (just sayin’), a Rebel (as my work is to upend models as a kind of activist) – but I also understand that there is a difference between how I see my work and its objectives versus my tendencies in behavior, as a leader in daily practice. I am deeply social and care for people, champion them, and fall intellectually in love with their stories. Obliger likely rises to the top as a social-emotional intelligence representing my care for others above all else. A delight to go through the experience of the quiz, thank you!

Does anything tend to interfere with your ability to keep your healthy habits or your happiness?

As an entrepreneur who founded a complex business, my day is never done. The tasks are non-linear and diverse. Often my life is unpredictable, moving across an extraordinary range of activities from mentoring a team member to balancing a budget to envisioning new models for public health for tens of millions across dozens of countries to collaboratively inventing a new transformative travel startup venture – all in the same day. Oddly, this kind of life nourishes me and keeps me in a kind of flow as a thinker and creative problem solver in ways I cherish but may also come at a cost of healthy habits. It begs the question – what is a healthy habit? I wonder how we might redefine the relationship between healthy habits and happiness? This is likely some of the thesis of your work, which is inspiring. I likely have habits that I might not even identify as habits that bring me health or happiness. Maybe, for me, actively identifying habits that yield happiness is itself a kind of design project. Like the decision to fill my studio with bright pink cards to ideate on as we push pin concepts on the wall brings me deep joy – excavating this as a habitual behavior to understand why it yields pleasure might help me know what “interferes” vs “accelerates” my interpretation of health.

Have you ever been hit by a lightning bolt, where you made a major change very suddenly, as a consequence of reading a book, a conversation with a friend, a milestone birthday, a health scare, etc.?

Yes! I have recently been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes discovered as the result of a hospitalization. It was a big health scare. I am figuring out how to own the diagnosis, understand the sources of this condition for me specifically, and look at ways to change my lifestyle. In particular I have zeroed in on food. Seeking out a kind of food literacy that can inform how I move forward.  Ironically, food is a big part of my life. I think it is and can be even more central to all of our lives. My studio has activated food as means to bring communities together, construct social cohesion to take on more than we could alone, and to heighten a multi-sensory experience as a celebration of aliveness. My lightning bolt has led to exploring the development of a new business focused on food that retains that aliveness but does so in service to health. It’s a grand experiment, and I am learning so much along the way. And finding that many beyond me seek food security, food literacy, and food as a cultural tradition that celebrates life.

Is there a particular motto or saying that you’ve found very helpful?

Slow down in order to speed up.

Has a book ever changed your life – if so, which one and why?

Artists monographs, highly visual collections of the bodies of work of prolific artists such as Egon Schiele, Jean-Michel Basquiat, and Julie Mehretu have changed my life. The combination of the visual storytelling and cultural context is blended combination that has propelled my work and my imagination. I think the essence of their impact could be boiled down to permission. These books were treasures for me growing up in a mostly removed, rural, pre-internet reality where they broke apart the inherited languages that I assumed were the only ones I could speak through. They gave me permission to find my own authentic alternate voice that I was not seeing around me.

In your field, is there a common misconception that you’d like to correct?

My work is often misunderstood in the space of Design Thinking. Which is a practice I have great respect for and do borrow from. Certainly, my time as a leader at Bruce Mau Design, often considered one of the godfathers of the field, helps condition my appreciation for this space. But I’ve also been a critic of the limits of design thinking. I believe that the challenges we face today are wildly complex, entangled, integrated, and deeply imprinted into culture.

Radical Curiosity (Amazon, Bookshop) is an opportunity for me to both show my deep appreciation of many disciplines, practices, mental models, and professions – as well as challenge and create a new lexicon for how to remix and blend ways of working that are appropriate for the moment we are in.

As Audre Lorde says: There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.

Author photo credit: Stephanie Alvarez Ewens

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Tamar Haspel: “Time on the Steep Part of the Learning Curve Builds Confidence”

Interview: Tamar Haspel

Tamar Haspel writes the James Beard Award-winning Washington Post column "Unearthed," which looks at how our diet affects us and our planet. She’s also written for Discover, Vox, Slate, Fortune, Eater, and Edible Cape Cod. With journalist Mike Grunwald, she co-hosts the Climavores podcast, which examines food’s impact on climate and environment.

Her book, To Boldly Grow: Finding Joy, Adventure, and Dinner in Your Own Backyard came out earlier this year.

I couldn't wait to talk to Tamar about happiness, habits, and food.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity or habit that consistently makes you happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Tamar: Doing something I’ve never done before because that first iteration – from zero to one – is where you learn more than any subsequent iteration. I can work and work – for decades! – at becoming a better writer, but the increments of improvement are small and uncertain. Undetectable, even.

But over the last decade, I’ve built a chicken coop, grown shiitake mushrooms, caught fish, raised several kinds of livestock, and (this is a big one) learned to back up a trailer. What it taught me, besides those actual skills, of course, is that spending time on the steep part of the learning curve builds confidence and competence. It makes you ready to tackle the next thing.

When the new things you tackle are food-related, it’s a self-improvement two-fer: your diet gets better, and your own self does, too.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

It doesn’t seek you out; you have to find it. You have to want it.

You’ve done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you – or your readers – most?

I write about food, and food is personal. The most intriguing – and, let’s face it, irritating – research findings are the ones that conflict with our preferences. The most hate mail I’ve ever gotten was when I wrote that all eggs taste the same. Yes, if you taste them blind (and it’s gotta be blind because eggs often look different) the ones from your backyard chickens – or mine – taste exactly like the lowest-common-denominator supermarket eggs.

I care about the life of the hens that lay my eggs. I want them to know happiness to the extent a chicken can. The fact that their eggs taste like other eggs doesn’t change that.

Would you describe yourself as an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?

I am a Questioner (a sensible type for a journalist to be).

Does anything tend to interfere with your ability to keep your healthy habits or your happiness? 

I’m sorry to say that it’s laziness. I know, from long and varied experience, that I thrive on new activities, but sometimes I just stay on Twitter too long. I’m working on that.

Have you ever been hit by a lightning bolt, where you made a major change very suddenly, as a consequence of reading a book?

In 2012 I read Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Righteous Mind. It’s a very compelling explanation of the shortcomings of human decision-making, and why facts are so stubbornly unpersuasive. As a journalist, I’m supposed to evaluate evidence for a living, and Haidt’s book convinced me that humans absolutely suck at that.

That conviction changed my journalistic M.O. I learned to be skeptical of my own conclusions, to develop strategies to check my own bias, and to look for opportunities to change my mind. It has made me slower to form opinions, and to be less dug-in on them once they’re formed. Don’t get me wrong! There are still hills I will die on. Just not very many.

In your field, is there a common misconception that you’d like to correct?

Oh is there! It’s that food is the province of experts. The human species’ ability to feed itself has propelled us to planetary dominance, yet there’s a kind of learned helplessness about food in the modern, developed world. Growing it, cooking it, choosing which of it is good for us – those things just aren’t that hard, and we can generally handle it with minimal expert intervention.

In a complex world, there aren’t many problems we can solve single-handedly. If something goes wrong with your job, or your marriage, or your finances, or even your dishwasher, chances are you can’t fix it all by yourself. But if you’re unhappy with your diet, that’s a problem you can solve.

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A Question I’m Often Asked: How Do I Spark My Creativity?

A question that I'm often asked is, "How do I spark my creativity?" I find it very helpful to consider this question, to make sure I keep doing the things that keep me sparked!

These are the strategies that work for me; I'm also fascinated to learn about other people's methods of stoking their creativity and productivity.

1. Reading. Reading is my tree house and my cubicle, my work day and my snow day.

One of my favorite things about myself is that I often become intensely interested by certain subjects. I’ll do countless hours of reading about these subjects, sometimes over the course of years.

For instance, my preoccupations have included: color, clutter, aphorisms and proverbs, the placebo response, the sense of smell, dogs, the Eleusinian Mysteries, Winston Churchill, cold reading, the nature of biography, the question of why owners would destroy their own possessions, happiness—and, very appropriately for this post, ways to spark creativity. (So if you have suggestions, send them my way!)

2. Taking notes. When I read, I’m always looking for passages that I want to note. I mark them as I read—either by adding a sticky flag if I’m reading a library book, or by marking the page if I own the book. Then, when I’ve finished the book, I type my notes into my computer. I have many giant documents that hold various types of notes, and sometimes, one part of a giant document will split off and form its own book.

3. Talking to people. I get many of my most important insights and examples from conversation. For instance, years ago, at lunch with a friend, she said, "I don't get it. I know I'm happier when I exercise, and when I was on my high-school track team, I never missed track practice. So why can't I go running now?" Our conversation haunted me, and pondering her question gave me a crucial clue in my understanding of what became my Four Tendencies personality framework.

Back to #2—if I want to take notes during a conversation, I email myself.

4. Watching documentaries, movies, TV shows, plays...more fodder! Ask me about the Get Back documentary. I can't stop thinking about it.

5. Making a daily visit to the Metropolitan Museum. As part of my research for my book about the five senses, I do a "daily visit." I visit the same place every day—to see how the place changes over time, and how each of my senses reveals different aspects of it, and how making a daily visit changes me. I may visit the Met every day for the rest of my life.

Also, when I go to the Met, I'm walking (research shows that walking is very good for creativity) and I'm also spending time outside as I make my way there and back (also good for creativity).

6. Turning my ideas into some kind of written creation. This could be a book, like Better Than Before. Or a podcast episode of Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Or an entry in my "5 Things Making Me Happy" weekly newsletter or for my "Moment of Happiness" daily quotation newsletter. Or an entry in my Book of Aphorisms. Or an article like this one. To think through ideas, to organize my thoughts, to test my conclusions, I always need to put them into words.

7. NEW: Creating physical objects. Inspired by my five senses, I've become increasingly drawn to the prospect of making tangible, visual creations. I write about one such project in my upcoming five-senses book (stay tuned! I love this project), and when my daughter Eleanor and I were in Paris together, she made an impassioned case for why I should put more energy into making things. The thing that surprised me was that once she suggested it, I knew what I wanted to create. Can I execute on my vision? I don't know. But I'm enthralled with the prospect.

8. Tapping into my five senses. When I started my research, I predicted that tuning into my five senses would spark my creativity—and wow, that has happened. In fact, I'm a bit overwhelmed by how many more projects I'm working on or planning. (If you're thinking, "Okay, Gretchen, but how did you tap into your five senses?" never fear, that's what my next book is about.)

9. Giving myself recess. To keep going, I need to let myself stop. As an Upholder, I can get very focused on my schedule and my to-do list, so I schedule time to goof off (as ridiculous as that may sound). For instance, going to the Met (#5) is one way to make sure I have time to wander.

Also, because I'd read so much research about the benefits of a daily nap, I've been napping regularly as part of #Rest22in22. I'm a real fan of the short mid-day nap.

10. Working steadily. I realized a long time ago that if I want to create, I need to work constantly. As one of my aphorisms (see #6) holds, "Pouring out ideas is better for creativity than doling them out with a teaspoon."

I work just about every day—including weekends, holidays, and vacations. It might just be twenty minutes, but I sit down to work. For me, that practice works best. Relatedly...

11. Suiting myself. I plan my work with my natural rhythms in mind. I'm a real morning person, plus I love the silence of the early morning, so when I'm doing original writing or tricky editing—my most difficult intellectual work—or other difficult tasks, I tackle them in the morning. As the day goes on, I turn to less taxing work. (Want to track your own energy patterns? Look here.)

Nevertheless, while many experts say, "Never look at your emails first thing in the morning," and even though that's precious time for me, I know that for me, it's impossible to concentrate on anything until I've glanced through my emails to make sure there's nothing I want to answer. That works for me.

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In my study of happiness and human nature, I've learned something essential: there’s no magic formula, no one-size-fits-all solution for happiness, creativity, or anything else.

We won’t make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people’s habits; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.

In his fascinating book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, Mason Currey examines the work habits of 161 writers, composers, artists, scientists, and philos­ophers.

His examples make it clear that while brilliant people vary tre­mendously in the specific creative habits they follow, they all know very well what habits work for them, and they go to enormous lengths to maintain those habits.

If you'd like to stoke your own creativity, try my Creativity Jump-Start.

What I Read This Month: July 2022

For six years now, every Monday morning, I've posted a photo on my Facebook Page of the books I finished during the week, with the tag #GretchenRubinReads.

I get a big kick out of this weekly habit—it’s a way to shine a spotlight on all the terrific books that I’ve read.

As I write about in my book Better Than Before, for most of my life, my habit was to finish any book that I started. Finally, I realized that this approach meant that I spent time reading books that bored me, and I had less time for books that I truly enjoy. These days, I put down a book if I don’t feel like finishing it, so I have more time to do my favorite kinds of reading.

This habit means that if you see a book included in the #GretchenRubinReads photo, you know that I liked it well enough to read to the last page.

When I read books related to an area I’m researching for a writing project, I carefully read and take notes on the parts that interest me, and skim the parts that don’t. So I may list a book that I’ve partly read and partly skimmed. For me, that still “counts.”

If you’d like more ideas for habits to help you get more reading done, read this post or download my "Reading Better Than Before" worksheet.

You can also follow me on Goodreads where I track books I’ve read.

If you want to see what I read last month, the full list is here.

Lately, I've been listening to a lot of episodes of Backlisted, a books podcast that I love, and many of the suggestions this month were inspired by the hosts' conversations.

July 2022 Reading:

Constructing a Nervous System by Margo Jefferson (Amazon, Bookshop)—a thought-provoking memoir with an unusual structure.

Beyond the Vicarage by Noel Streatfeild (Amazon)—More Streatfeild! The third volume in her three-volume third-person memoir.

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century, edited by Alice Wong (Amazon, Bookshop)—A collection of excellent essays from different authors about their experiences of living with disabilities.

A World for Me and You by Uju Asika (Book Depository)—A lovely picture book about appreciating the beauty and joy of living in a diverse world. (If you want to read my interview with Uju Asika, it's here.)

Say the Right Thing: How to Talk about Identity, Diversity, and Justice by Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow (Amazon)—A very practical, thoughtful consideration of how to have conversations with greater compassion and understanding (in galley).

Drive Your Plow: Over the Bones of the Dead: A Novel by Olga Tokarczuk (Amazon, Bookshop)—Winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature—A fascinating, surprising novel.

The Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World by E. L. Konigsburg (Amazon, Bookshop)—I love the work of E. L. Konigsburg, and when I did an event with the people making a musical of From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (Amazon, Bookshop), I met Konigsburg's three children; when her son said this novel was his favorite, I realized that somehow I'd never read it.

This is Not a Novel and Other Novels by David Markson (Amazon, Bookshop)—experimental, interesting, not like anything I've ever read before. I want to read more of his work.

Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow by Jessica Townsend (Amazon, Bookshop)—mystery, magic, competition, champions, hidden identities, and a delightful hotel...so many elements I find irresistible.

Good Company: A Novel by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeny (Amazon, Bookshop)—New York Times Bestseller, A Read with Jenna Today Show Book Club Pick—I really enjoyed The Nest so wanted to read this excellent novel about marriage, family, love, theater, and what matters over time.

Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay (Amazon, Bookshop)—a classic work of fantasy, with kingdoms, powers, conflict, strong characters, and a well-realized world

Troy Chimneys by Margaret Kennedy (Amazon, Bookshop)—a terrific old-fashioned novel, and I mean that as high praise.

The Last Interview: and Other Conversations (The Last Interview Series) by Nora Ephron (Amazon)—I'm reading through a lot of these short "Last Interview" collections; they're wonderful.

The Last Interview: and Other Conversations (The Last Interview Series) by Toni Morrison (Amazon)—ditto.

The Children’s Bach by Helen Garner (Amazon, Bookshop)—a short, intense novel about the collision of characters.

Everywhere I Look by Helen Garner (Amazon, Bookshop)—More Helen Garner—a terrific collection of her non-fiction.

Left on Tenth: A Second Chance at Life by Delia Ephron (Amazon, Bookshop)—A "Best Memoir of 2022" by Marie Claire, A "Best Memoir of April" by Vanity Fair—I love the writing of Delia Ephron (also Nora Ephron, see above), and this is a wonderful memoir of losing her husband, finding new love, and dealing with a health crisis.

I Wrote This Book Because I Love You by Tim Kreider (Amazon, Bookshop)—A People Top 10 Book of 2018—terrific essays; I just bought another collection by Tim Kreider.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk & Robot, 1) by Becky Chambers (Amazon, Bookshop)—I love the work of Becky Chambers! Plus I love a pantheon of gods.

The Hum and the Shiver by Alex Bledsoe (Amazon, Bookshop)—A magical world set in Appalachia. It reminded me a bit of the work of Nina Kiriki Hoffman, which I love.

The Last Days of Roger Federer: And Other Endings by Geoff Dyer (Amazon, Bookshop)—A meditation on endings in Geoff Dyer's inimitable voice.

Ed Mylett: “I Spend Very Little Time Dwelling About the Past.”

Interview: Ed Mylett

Ed Mylett is an entrepreneur, performance coach, author, and host of The Ed Mylett Show podcast. His new book, The Power of One More: The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success (Amazon, Bookshop), is available now.

I couldn't wait to talk to Ed about happiness, habits, and success. 

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity or habit that consistently makes you happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Ed: I spend very little time dwelling about the past. We’re often weighed down by our past, and that can cripple what we want to do in the future. What’s done is done, and sometimes, the best you can do is catalog the event, learn from it, and use that knowledge to help you do better in the future.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

You don’t find true happiness in material possessions. You find true happiness by having close and loving relationships with your wife, children, pets, extended family members, friends, and most importantly, with God.

You’ve done fascinating research. What has surprised or intrigued you – or your readers – most?

The beauty of what I do is that every day reveals itself in fascinating ways to me. I’m just as excited to talk to a health and wellness expert as I am talking to a music superstar or a pro athlete. I love hearing about interesting journeys that unlock new ways of doing things better, or how people have overcome adversity in their lives. The real payoff comes when I share it with my audience and they let me know how they’ve found value too.

The bottom line…and this is not a cop-out…I mean it when I say everything surprises and intrigues me in one way or another.

Have you ever managed to gain a challenging healthy habit – or to break an unhealthy habit? If so, how did you do it?

I have been a bodybuilder for several years now. The great thing about this type of healthy habit is that it’s entirely internal. It’s you versus the resistance of lifting dead weight. The other thing is that it allows me to keep a promise to myself to keep going with this habit even when I don’t feel like lifting, or I’ve got some minor injuries that I deal with from time to time. That’s an important part of maintaining my confidence, to work through adversity which feeds my self-esteem into and carries over to several other parts of my life.

Does anything tend to interfere with your ability to keep your healthy habits or your happiness?

There are a few things that come to mind and they revolve around my health.

While I enjoy my down and quiet time at home, the habits I’ve developed mean that I’m very intense and in the moment when I do work. If I go for long periods like this, I’ll empty my physical and my mental gas tank. Sometimes, but not always, I’ll catch a bug or just feel wiped out for a couple of days. My recovery time is shorter than for most people though because I do eat the right way and always add exercise into my life by playing golf, working out, or going for walks.

The other thing I could probably be better is learning how to say “no” more often. Unfortunately for me, I’m intensely curious, and saying “no” stifles that need to know.

As far as happiness goes, nothing interferes with my decision to be happy. I recognize that I’m leading a blessed life and so I’m filled with gratitude in everything I do. Gratitude is a form of happiness.

Have you ever been hit by a lightning bolt, where you made a major change very suddenly, as a consequence of reading a book, a conversation with a friend, a milestone birthday, a health scare, etc.?

I’ve had a few but the one that stands out for me was early in my career. I had been struggling for a while to find any kind of success, and I was not having any luck. One night when I was hosting a seminar, I expected 40 people based on RSVPs. Only eight people showed up. I was crushed and I went home and had a talk with myself. That night’s events had put me at a crossroads. After a lot of deep thought and prayers, I decided not to give and make a change in my career. I dug my heels in and said I was going all-in on this with everything I had. On the surface, I did not change, but deep down, I did.

Is there a particular motto or saying that you’ve found very helpful? Or a quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?

Absolutely! I continue to draw a lot of strength and inspiration from my favorite passage in the Bible, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Has a book ever changed your life – if so, which one and why?

The Bible. My faith is the cornerstone of my life.

In your field, is there a common misconception that you’d like to correct?

There are a couple of things.

The biggest thing I see is that many people think you must make huge changes in your life to get more success and happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth, which is exactly why I wrote The Power of One More. It’s based on the premise that you’re only one more try, emotion, relationship, or habit away from getting the life you deserve.

The other thing is that I see many people who invest in all kinds of great material about being more successful or achieving peak performance. Some of them think that simply by reading or watching these materials, they’ll automatically reach their success goals.

They completely miss the point that all we can do as teachers and mentors is give them a roadmap to a better life. It’s up to them to not only learn and think about a better life but to also jump into action and take the required steps. Action is the key.

I would also, of course, shine a spotlight on anything that you’d particularly like to bring to readers’ attention.

After my dad died a couple years ago, I was going through his personal items and I found a bunch of notecards each with just 2 letters and a single date on them. After a bit of investigative work, I discovered that they were the initials and the sobriety anniversary dates of dozens of people that my father helped to battle their struggle with alcohol. He often called these people to remind them of the power or staying sober for just “one more day.” That was the philosophy that he had used to transform him from being an alcoholic most of my childhood to then becoming my best friend and role model as he remained sober for 35 years.

The “one more” philosophy was how he quit drinking. He tried “one more” time. And then he never committed to staying sober the rest of his life, but he did it by committing to do it for just “one more” day. God then used his own struggle and brokenness to bless the lives of others.

I have applied that “one more” strategy to every part of my life and business. It’s helped me to accumulate millions of dollars and to also reach millions of people. So I recently wrote a book called The Power of One More where I teach how I’ve applied it to relationships, faith, money, success, health and many different aspects of my life. The book has already sold over 100k copies in the first few weeks and became a #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller. The book is dedicated to my father and a reminder to all of us about the transformative “Power of One More.”

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From My Recent Trip to Paris: My 11 Secrets of Adulthood for Travel.

One item on my "22 for 22" list is to "Take a trip with my daughter Eleanor." And we did it! We just returned from Paris, where we had a wonderful time.

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After going so long without traveling, I still feel a bit out of practice. Before and during this big trip, I found myself reflecting on some of my most useful Secrets of Adulthood for Travel:

Always leave plenty of room in the suitcase.Don't let anyone get too hungry, too tired, too hot, or too cold.Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.Never pass up an opportunity to charge your phone.Wear comfortable shoes.Keep a stash of back-up snacks (see #2).Pack a canvas tote bag (we didn't end up needing this bag, but on other trips, I've found it invaluable).No matter what the weather is outside, dress warmly for the airplane.Make a plan, but leave room for spontaneity.If something's important, don't put it in a checked suitcase. (This reminder turned out to be very important; my bag took eight days to arrive in New York City.)Remember, it's supposed to be fun.

If you'd like to read more Secrets of Adulthood, they're here.

If you'd like more travel hacks, episode 180 of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast is dedicated to listeners' hacks—so many great suggestions.

What Secrets of Adulthood would you add to this list? I'm always looking for more ideas.