Elan Golomb

New York, The United States

Average rating: 3.83 · 881 ratings · 94 reviews · 2 distinct worksSimilar authors
Trapped in the Mirror: Adul...

3.82 avg rating — 877 ratings — published 1992 — 6 editions
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Unloved Again: Breaking You...

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 4 ratings5 editions
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“Often, her mate is the child of a narcissist, already indoctrinated to regard exploitation and disregard as love. Others lured by the narcissistic aura are those in whom healthy childhood exhibitionism has been repressed. . . . If the parent puts the child to shame for showing off, the need for attention gets repressed into the unconscious. Repression means that the need is not satisfied and continues to press for expression in the adult without her being aware of it. The repressed adult may select an exhibitionistic mate to achieve vicarious satisfaction.”
Elan Golomb, Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self

“Children of narcissists emerge from this crucible with a common and most serious problem. They feel that they do not have the right to exist.”
Elan Golomb, Trapped in the Mirror

“We can use techniques to become our selves and to develop the self. Techniques are different from the roles our narcissistic parents assume to cover their footprints so that no one can follow and evaluate them. If recognized as they really are, they expect further damage to their egos. Only a perfect image is safe. Roles help them to avoid detection but a role will not help the self to grow. Their roles depict greatness but hypersensitivity to the smallest sign of nonappreciation reveals profound and unadmitted doubts.”
Elan Golomb

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