Melissa Perri Smith's Blog, page 4

Spotify Wrapped, writing music, and the fear of writing

Hello, December! It’s almost the end of 2023, and you know what that means—Spotify Wrapped! I’ve been waiting ages for this, even though I knew it would be predictable. Every year, it’s the same. But every year, I’m pleasantly surprised that I continue to be a massive stan. That’s right, Hozier; I’m once again in the top 0.1 percent of listeners, and yet, you still don’t notice me.

I listen to a lot of music. What can I say?

How do you have the time to listen to 47,846 minutes of music? you might ...

Fan Fiction, Depression, and the Horrors of Smut

Oh, hello. Would you look at that? It’s me! Your favorite, inconsistent, mentally ill writer! I know it’s good to see me. Don’t deny it.

Where have I been, you may ask? It’s quite simple. I’ve been on my couch, staring at the ceiling or my phone, contemplating every decision I’ve made in life and trying to avoid coming to terms with the fact that I’m still alive.

Cheerful. Don’t be worried, though! I’m still alive, and that’s what matters.

Wouldn’t it be cute if this were me? Alas, I haven’t writte...

"In misery" and "The wings are a future"

I used to write a poem every day if you can believe it!

Do you have a daily writing habit? Do you count your writing goals by minute or by words? I’m a word girl (probably around 3000 words/day).

I’m loving the drama here. Photo by Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash.

In misery

In this dream, he is with

another woman, and they exchange

spit like currency while I

stand beneath an arch, one

foot in ignorance and the other

in misery.

To turn from the sight

should have been the greatest

relief. A man—it is always

a man...

Happy NaNoWriMo Prep Month!

I can practically taste those crunchy leaves—photo by Alisa Anton from Unsplash.(I will preface this post by saying I won’t be participating in NaNoWriMo this year—I have school and a half-formed project to occupy my time—but as a staunch planner, October is a crucial month should November choose to wink its mischievous eye at me.)

Yesterday was the first day of October—ah, how the time whittles itself away!—which means we’re officially in the second most important month of the year. That’s right...

The secret to a good life? A good first sentence.

What do you think the most important thing in life is?

Eating? Breathing? Shelter? Love, affection, happiness, or friendship?

Thanks for reading Melissa's Writerly Duty! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

WRONG.

That’s right, the most important thing in life is first impressions. Whether it’s meeting someone or writing the opening sentence to a story, the first line can impact the rest of your life, and who knows? You may never recover.

Look at all those lame guys on Hinge w...

A month in: A recap of self-employment

A month? Already??

Photo by @esteejanssens from Unsplash.

“Being self-employed means you work 12 hours a day for yourself so you don’t have to work 8 hours a day for someone else.”

— Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert

It’s been over a month since my last day of work, and I’ve never been happier!

Well, I’m about to lose a lot of money, but, for once, that isn’t my biggest fear. Being able to leave my job was possible because I had built a large enough safety net to support myself. So instead of money, I’m afraid of failure.

But I’m still happy haha.

Also, the quote above could not be truer. When I say I’m overworking myself, I mean it. I often find myself logging back onto my computer around 10 p.m. just to crank out 1,000 words or so before bed. The immense amount of ghostwriting I’m doing, along with managing my social media accounts, trying (and failing) to write blog posts here, and writing my own romance novels — yeah, it’s a lot.

So, so fun, though. Stressful. Rewarding. The most fulfilling work I’ve ever done. I can’t fall asleep at night because of how much I’m thinking about this shit.

I don’t know if I have much more to say, lol! I’ve been writing that in my journal a ton, just because my whole life revolves around the novels I’m working on.

One thing I’ve decided is to take up a new pen name. My main pen name, Maya Sanna, is used for steamy contemporary romance, while my new pen name, Mattie Song, will be used for, ahem, darker steamy romance novels.

So yeah, I’m just heaping more on my plate in the hopes I’ll be able to get all of it done without a total breakdown. But when a girl doesn’t have a steady paycheck, a girl’s gotta hustle.

Speaking of a steady paycheck, have you guys read my romance novels yet? Check them out here!

Thanks for hanging out — I’ll try to write something more substantial soon!

The terror and beauty of being different

A conversation between friends.

Photo by @mullyadii from Unsplash.

““I always had to pretend back then,” he said. “Trying to act the way I was supposed to, to understand what people wanted from me. Alone is not synonymous with lonely. Out in the world, everyone tells you to just be yourself but then punishes you if you are. And yet they are right. Alone I can be myself.””

— Maria Romasco Moore, I Am the Ghost in Your House

There are exciting things about being your own person in the world. I wrote about that in my last blog post and the liberation I felt with taking my life into my own hands. And while that terrifies me and I often feel like a failure for not being as successful in my writing endeavors as I had initially hoped for, at least I exist in a space that welcomes me.

But what does it mean to exist in the world as a whole? The isolation of the past few years created a space both viscerally real and blindingly imaginary. A forgetting of sorts may serve as a comfort, but it also imitates the machinations of our minds. It creates a world that centers around ourselves and neglects to remember the ways in which we must interact with others who are at once painfully different from ourselves but also what is considered to be “normal” in the public space.

I found myself feeling lonely in a group of people yet again, which is something I haven’t felt since high school and maybe a few parts of college. It reminded me how different I can be from normal people. Just how uncomfortable I am with people who are comfortable with not thinking about the world around them. Sandy…said he often feels the same, which is why he finds it more difficult to make friends than most. He doesn’t know who his people are yet.

I admire that there are people in the world who have no issues transforming themselves to fit the molds of modern society. After all, denying the comfort that comes with fitting in and finding solace in the company of others would make me, well, an idiot.

But that person isn’t me, you know? Small talk bores me to no end. And, as @americanbaron said in my favorite TikTok of his, “Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe no one’s actually boring? Like, there’s more to people than hiking, traveling, food.”

But every time I meet someone new, that’s all we talk about. “Where have you traveled to? What do you do in your free time? What do you do for work?”

The rarity of asking someone what they think about an idea or a concept seems to be something saved for later conversations or something not even explored at all. The reality, though? The surfaces of ourselves beg to be breached. But is that something we refuse to do? Or something that we don’t even know we’re capable of doing?

Whenever I read a book, small talk doesn’t exist. Sure, it may appear on the sidelines the way a conductor instructs the musicians. But they don’t speak. They convey to the audience from the outskirts that this thing has occurred or will.

The reader doesn’t care about the small talk. They aren’t interested in the last movie the main character watched. They’re curious about why they are the way they are. They want to know their thoughts on the world they exist in. They want to identify with the main character beyond superficial interests.

Let me clarify by saying there’s nothing wrong with superficiality. I too have favorite books and movies, places I’ve enjoyed visiting, and food I love to eat. And it’s amazing to connect with people on those things. But if those are the only things we talk about, then I’m not interested.

This might seem a bit weird to write about haha, but I realized recently how lonely it can be when you force yourselves into those situations with people.

I don’t know if I have a point to all this. Maybe it’s more of an effort to tell myself that being different is okay. I want to know that I shouldn’t feel bad for being enthusiastic about topics that interest me or for saying something beyond what may be considered the norm.

The right people will stick around for that. The wrong people won’t.

What’s your favorite nonconventional topic of conversation? Or better yet, start a nonconventional conversation with me in the comments.

As always, be sure to check out my romance novels, leave a review, and help me pay my bills! Chat soon, my writers, readers, and friends.

The end of an era means the beginning of a new one

One door closes, another one opens etc.

Appropriate. Photo by @woodpecker65 from Unsplash.

“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

— L. Frank Baum

My job? Gone.

I know! It’s been a long time coming, yeah? But I’m so excited. Scared, too. But today is my first day off the job, and I’ve been more productive than I’ve been in a long while.

Writing my own romance novels, of course, which you should totally check out so I can afford food, but also ghostwriting for other folks. For now, I’m working primarily on Upwork, but I’d love to get off that site and work with other clients.

A Self-Employed Woman

So, here’s my ask.

Do you want to write a novel, romance or otherwise? Or, do you know someone who has an idea for a novel and needs someone to write it?

Reach out to me! Put a time on my calendar! I want to talk to you. I want to talk to them. My prices are flexible and totally negotiable, especially since I’m just starting out. Now’s the time to buy, folks. You can check out some of my testimonials and reviews in the Ghostwriting Testimonials tab above.

Basically, we can work together to make an outline, set weekly deadlines for a specific word count, and go through a revision process if you’d like that. Prices vary depending on the services you require, but as I said, I’m totally flexible depending on your budget, timeframe requirements, and word count.

So yeah, marketing spiel aside, I’d really appreciate it if you reached out. Or if you don’t have an idea, send this post or my links to people who might.

And don’t forget to purchase eBooks of my romance novels! They’re pretty affordable in my opinion ($0.99 for one and $2.99 for the one that came out today). Just Us is out as well, through my publisher and as an eBook on Amazon!

Phew, lots of links. Many things to read through. But I appreciate you taking the time to do so.

A Happy Woman

What do you expect out of a new era? Should I expect anything in the first place?

Regardless, I have plenty of goals.

A laptop sticker from my former boss. The sticker reads, “I think I’ll just be happy today.”

Be happy. Be really happy.

Do what I love most - write!

Read a ton.

Drink coffee and sit on my balcony.

Don’t be anxious about not working.

Spend time with me.

Spend time with the people I love.

Rock grad school.

Remember who I am and who I want to be.

Again, be happy. Be really happy.

A Grateful Woman

This really is where I want to be. And I couldn’t be happier to have the support network that I do. So yeah, thank you for being here. Thank you for being you.

One more plug for my romance novels and for Just Us! No pressure, of course. But I’d appreciate any review or thought you may have about my books. Every purchase and rating helps.

Oh! And leave a comment telling me some of your goals or the story of your new era. I look forward to hearing from you, in every way.

Just Us! And a few updates…

Look at me, a published author and everything.

I’m such a photographer, aren’t I?

“The most natural things that occur in the world are mathematical. They are also religious. The soul. A spirit. The sand mingled with ash wrapped around seashells shaped like the inner ear, like a flower growing in a field. Like butterfly wings.”

— Melissa Perri Smith, Just Us

It’s official! Just Us is born into the world and available for reading. If you preordered a copy, it should be coming to you soon (it might have already arrived!). I’m also signing some copies and sending them out soon, so if you’d like one, be sure to send me a message or an email. I’m happy to send one your way as well.

So, what’s more exciting than being a published author? Being a full-time writer!

It’s a dream, it’s a fantasy, and now, it’s a reality.

No, I didn’t get a six-figure book deal. No, I didn’t win the lottery. If anything, my paycheck is going to take a serious hit, and I’m likely going to be left staring at an empty bank account at the end of this year. So why am I doing it?

Well, friends, I am very sad. My job was so bad for my mental health that it was giving me nightmares, and getting up in the morning was agony because of the dread I felt. I’m still working until mid-August to help out with transition activities because I really do think my team deserves some help in getting things in order for whoever tackles my responsibilities next.

But now? Now, I’m pretty terrified. Terrified and excited. Stressed and motivated. I’ve got a lot to do over the next few months, what with starting grad school and freelancing/ghostwriting full time. I have a few clients right now, but once these projects are finished, I do need to be more discerning about the amount I accept in pay. I was willing to take a lower price because I’m just starting out. I’ve ghostwritten two major pieces and written three of my own romance novels under a pen name. While that’s great experience in the contemporary romance field, it would be ideal to have a few more novels and/or short stories under my belt.

So! Here’s my question.

Do you have a story you want to tell? A novel you’ve been itching to write, but you don’t have the technical skills or the time to write it? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Self-publishing and promoting your novels are as lucrative as ever if you have the right tools and a good book. And I think I’m the best person to help knock out the latter.

God, this is painful for me.

Marketing jargon and disgusting self-promotion aside, I’m pretty good at writing. And I’d love to help other people tell their stories. So, if you or someone you know wants to write a book and get it published somewhere, check out my ghostwriting services tab. You can see some examples of what I’ve written and can contact me for pricing if you’re interested.

And if you don’t have a story just yet but you know someone who does, feel free to pass along my contact information!

It’s a wild, insane, possibly courageous thing for me to give up dreaded stability for terrifying freedom. But the first step to accomplishing something like this is believing in yourself and embracing a willingness to fail, learn, and try again.

What a joy to exist. Make sure to check out Just Us. And I wouldn’t object if you bought me a coffee ;)

Do great writers need to be deep thinkers?

Um….

Photo by @earbiscuits from Unsplash.

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”

— Plutarch

I wrote this in my journal the other day:

How absurd will we seem in the future?

It’s a very mundane thought and question, of course. Not original in the slightest, with an obvious answer to boot. Because the future will progress to a point we may be incapable of imagining at the present moment, and we’ll look back and feel ashamed or embarrassed, or will play the part of forced forgetting because of the painful shame associated with the now.

I’m not prolific or excessively wise. My thoughts are pitifully prosaic, and at a different time, they may have brought me an inflated sense of pride. It is far from that now. Is it impossible to be an excellent writer if I am not a great thinker? Must I be an authority, a quotable someone whom an impressionable youth will admire, going so far as to fill a notebook with my bloated musings? I was that youth once, after all, which is perhaps why I have so many rattling quotes stored latently in my memory.

Sandy says I’m brave, but brave does not equal wise. It is alright to be cowardly, after all. There may be some benefit in cowardice even. For much of my life, I have been a coward, which was the smartest thing to be in the predicament I was in. I will survive with that thought, with knowing I was at one point both wise and ignorant, brave and a coward.

I share this excerpt for two reasons. One, because I express my thoughts on what it means to be a great writer. Two, because in it, I find myself participating in “thinking,” even if it’s with the recognition that I will never be a great writer because of my very unoriginal thoughts.

Truthfully, I have done very little thinking lately. There are times I wish to wander through the woods and sit on the stump of a tree, legs crossed and staring into the creeping pull of nature, inhaling pollen and listening to the crunching of fallen branches and the cooing of birds in love. This thought is appealing to me. The associated endlessness of it gives me pause. What great thinking can be accomplished in that solitude? What could I think that Thoreau hasn’t already?

Or maybe I just need to read more books? Maybe I need to escape beyond my comfort of popular fiction or speculative works. Should I read theory? Should I read memoirs? Is it alright to exist in the comfort of what I know and understand? Will that make me a great writer or a complacent person?

Is that even what I want?

It isn’t what I want. I want to lead a slow life, an easy life, A life where I can write in molasses-coated solitude, somewhere far away from the buzzing of a city. I want to read the books I want to read. I want to think the thoughts I want to think, even if they’re about the mundaneness of my day or the same thoughts I have wondered about a million times.

So can I still be a great writer?

In some ways, yes. In others, no.

I doubt I will ever be of the same caliber as Thoreau or Milton or Shelley. I doubt I’ll think so deeply to be considered a modern genius, like Ocean Vuong, Douglas Stewart, or Mieko Kawakami. I’ll always be the me who leads a slow, unbothered life, one where I write to alleviate the pains of the past and reconcile with the future. If anything, I write to see another day.

I think about this a lot — how to become great. How to become recognizable. How to make a living off writing and to do every day enjoying something I’m good at.

We received criticism from our superiors at work the other day because they sense we don’t love our jobs and aren’t having fun doing them. I don’t love my job, nor do I have fun. If that were a prerequisite, I wonder how many people would be in the jobs they’re in now. How flooded would the arts be? How enormous the consumption of what we love and enjoy and look forward to.

I’ll always enjoy writing. And I’ll always continue to do so. I may never be great and may never make a living doing what I love. But perhaps it’s time for me to become okay with that. The most important thing is to keep doing it. To keep loving it. And to continue sharing it with the people I love.