Rhys Bowen's Blog, page 18

The real tree revealed.

After several people emailed me about the lovely Christmas tree on my blog I have to confess that it's just a stock photo I found and not mine at all. So in the interests of full disclosure, here's a picture of my real tree.
Please do not examine too closely the inadequate nature of the gift wrapping. Luckily it's dark.

It's a Wrap.

I have skills but gift wrapping is not one of them. That was brought home to me today when my church had its annual giving tree and everyone brought wrapped gifts. Some of them were true works of art--ribbons, bows, sprigs of holly, mini santas.  Mine--well, my had paper around it, stuck down with Scotch tape. That is the extent of my wrapping ability.

I suppose at heart I'm a practical person and it doesn't seem worth going to lots of trouble for something that will be ripped off and discarded. At least that is my excuse. Maybe I'm just not good at creating Martha Stewart worthy gifts. But I have to confess that I love to receive them. I have a friend who has a craft boutique every year and her gifts always have such interesting additions to the wrapping--beads and small toys that make the present fun.

Maybe it's because I have to do all the wrapping that I just want it done as quickly and painlessly as possible. Sixteen people all with a couple of gifts makes a lot of presents to wrap. with the smaller ones I now go for bags. They look good with no effort. But there is no bag big enough for a large kitchen appliance. Or for some toys.

One year we decided to have a green Christmas and made fabric bags to be reused every year. I still have them. The problem is that after they've wrapped something once, they need laundering and ironing before they look good enough to wrap something else.... and ironing is another of my lacking skills!

Ah well. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Trying to Make up my Mind

If you're feeling confused this week, it's because I've been trying out new designs for this blog. I thought the old one with the lighthouse was a little blah so I experimented. The black one was dramatic, right for a mystery writer in many ways, but the side bar was hard to read. So now I'm going with the hint of historical and mysterious and I hope ease of navigation.

Let me know what you think.

I'm Dreaming of a Perfect Christmas

My shopping is almost complete and guess what, I haven't bought a single Lexus to put under the tree.  Actually if my family had their way, it would only require a very small tree because so many people want gift cards to their favorite stores. How Christmassy is that? We might as well not exchange gifts at all but set up a clearing house with a debit and credit system. you would have spent fifty dollars on me so that's a fifty dollar credit in my column, but I would have shelved out one hundred on the kids, so I'm minus fifty.

Call me old fashioned, but I am still looking for the perfect Christmas, one with simple home made gifts and lots of laughter around the fire. I got a sample of it a few years ago when I took a Christmas markets cruise up the Danube and we stopped off in small towns along the way. They were selling hand made wooden toys and carved ornaments and the scent of mulled wine and sausages and spices hung in the cold air. Children, bundled up against the cold, looked in wonder at the twinkling lights and the magical toys. And I thought--that's the feeling I want at Christmas!

I understand it's not realistic. How many of us have the time to carve a few toys in the evenings? I'm even thinking of serving store bought cookies this year. The problem is that we have so much, year round that people think we have to raise the hype to make Christmas special. Hence all those commercials about a Lexus with a bow on it. But actually we want to go in the other direction--to retreat from the commerical side of life and make Christmas magical and simple and other-worldly.

When I was growing up in the dark ages Christmas was the only time we had turkey. So it was special. It was the only time in the year that nuts and tangerines and dates appeared in stores so they were special too. And Christmas plum pudding and mince pies were treats. Now we can buy any food we want, any day of the year. So nothing really to look forward to.

This year I plan to try hard to recreate my ideal Christmas. We'll have the whole extended family and I'm hoping it will be cold enough for a fire in the hearth and mulled wine and singing Christmas carols and silly family games that have us all laughing. Any tips on how you conjure up the Christmas spirit?

Are the Royals worth it?

As the author of the Royal Spyness series, I've been doing royal gossip Mondays on my blog. Today I'm going to be a little more serious, because the news of Prince William's brave and daring rescue last week made me want to counter all those people who complain that the royal family are not worth keeping around.

There is a small but vocal minority in Britain that thinks we should do away with the royals and make Britain into an efficient republic like America (pause to chuckle here).  These people think the royals sit around idly doing nothing in their expensive palaces and sip tea while receiving vast amounts of money from the working poor.
This may have been true in the days of King Charles Ist but the modern royals have a work schedule not many of us could emulate. I go on a book tour for about two weeks each year. Two weeks of waking early, flying to a new city, touring bookstores all day, sometimes doing some radio or TV interviews, then speaking at an evening event before collapsing exausted into a hotel bed. At the end of two weeks I am whacked. However the queen has been doing this every day of her life. Every day of making speeches, meeting new people, eating three meals a day with strangers watching and the press ready to jump if you make a false move. Let me tell you that it requires stamina.
And the other members of her family do similar amounts of goodwill and charity work. Princess Anne is the real family workhorse. Prince Charles was mocked twenty years ago when he started an organic farm. Now it seems he was way ahead of his time and his methods are being copied all over the world. And now Prince William is serving as an RAF search and rescue pilot and proved last week that this is not a grace and favor position but he is indeed walking the walk. I watched the video of him holding the helicopter steady a few feet above a raging ocean while his fellow officer rapelled down to pluck men from a sinking cargo ship. And his brother was fighting in Afghanistan until his presence was leaked to the press and he had to be whisked out for his own safety.
As the new Duchess of Cambridge (I refuse to call her Kate Middleton as the press still does) will find out, she won't have a life of leisure ahead. And I bet she'll perform splendidly.
So three cheers for the hardworking royals. Oh, and by the way.... they cost less than President Obama!

Making a list, checking it twice.

Many people I know are cutting back on Christmas this year, but I'm doing just the opposite... not exactly from choice. It started when my brother in Australia announced that he and his wife would be paying us a visit over Christmas. This would be the first time in ten years so my daughter Clare announced that she and her family had to come and join in the fun. (My son is currently living with us and daughter Jane and family live close by so that's an extra 5 people). Then my daughter Anne from LA asked if she could bring a friend who would otherwise be all alone over Christmas.
So that makes 16. Sixteen people for almost a week. We are lucky in that we have a big house with enough rooms to put people but I'm currently buying or borrowing air mattresses, a fold up table, and trying to get my list of presents done well in advance.
Then there's the little matter of food. Christmas day is easy. Big brunch then turkey. mince pies, Christmas pudding. The day after Christmas (that we still call Boxing Day) is easy. John's turkey curry.
But the others? I was all set to buy a Costco lasagna until I realized that Anne and her friend don't eat red meat, or dairy and the friend doesn't eat gluten, and my brother and his wife are diabetic and don't eat any refined starches. So I hit on the brilliant idea of a paella one night, a seafood cioppino and brown rice another and one night of soups and baked potatoes.
Any other brilliant suggestions, please? Easy. Dairy free. Red meat free. Refined starch free. And tastes good. What a challenge....
I expect we'll muddle through. I plan to put up a roster so that there are the right number of people to help in the kitchen at all times and I've told John he is on constant food buying runs. And I'm telling myself it will be fun. It will be fun... it will be fun....

Inquiring Minds Want to Know!

I was standing in the grocery checkout line yesterday and the headline on all the tabloids read "Kate Pregnant".In Touch Magazine actually "confirmed" the rumor, although no word has come from the Palace. This is what the magazine said: ""Since before they even got married, it's been made clear to William and Kate that having children should be their number-one priority," the magazine's source disclosed. "Queen Elizabeth II, in particular, has been dropping so many hints about wanting a great-grandchild - and an heir to the throne - that Kate feared she wouldn't be able to face her without baby news," the insider added." And to add fuel to this rumor the magazine showed pictures of Kate with her hand on her stomach, although I think this just proves she's holding her coat closed!

Obviously Brits want to know when there might be an heir to the throne (especially if it's a girl, a future queen!) but why this fascination around the world? And why this fascination with preganncy in general? If any movie star reaches iconic status the headlines will always debate whether she is pregnant, wants to become pregnant, has been pregnant etc etc.

And all those photos of stars exposing big bellies--why are we suddenly so fascinated? Pregnancy used to be a private time. It was not done even to mention it. Remember those maternity clothes that were so voluminous one could invite an army to come and camp inside them? As if they fooled anybody--we all knew there was a large belly somewhere under those folds and gussets. We just didn't want to look at it.

In a world in which many countries are witnessing zero or negative population growth, why are we then so fascinated with those about to give birth. What springs to mind is Margaret Attwod's The Handmaid's Tale! We want the population to continue--we just don't want to do it ourselves. So any pyschiatrists or pyschologists out there--why do we want to look at pregnant bellies these days?

Poor Kate. When she actually does become pregnant, she'll be photographed at every stage. She'll be observed to see what she eats and drinks, whether she's off her food or eating for two. I hope she stays in Wales, out of the public eye!

Holiday shopping Song

Will you be standing outside a store at 4 a.m. tomorrow? Not me. There is no item in the universe that is important enough to me to make me do that. In fact more and more lately I've been doing my Christmas shopping online. And last year I wrote a song about it, that I'd like to share with you again today as you rush from store to store:

Dashing through the web,
 googling sites like mad
Christmas time is here again,
bargains to be had
Oh
Click click here, click click there,
buy it all online
Overstock and Amazon.
Christmas will be fine.

Click Click here, click click there
Bought it all online
Presents bought and wrapped and shipped
Have a glass of wine!

Happy Black Friday to all!

Small Blessings

Since it's Thanksgiving week and nobody will have much time to think about anything except turkey and pumpkin pies, I thought I'd concentrate on the small things that make life worth living. Obviously I'm thankful for health and family but this is a good time to reflect on what really makes me happy.
Here are some of the things I've come up with:
A roaring fire on a cold winter night, and a hot chocolate and a cat on my lap... and a good book.
A long hot bath with a citrus scented scrub.
The sound of splashing water on a summer's day.
The sound of children playing in water on a summer's day.
Time to watch the clouds floating by or a good sunset.
An evening walk with time to talk.
Hiking with my friends.
Laughter around the table.

And you know what? None of those things cost a penny (apart from the hot water in the bath) How strange our society has become that we equate happiness with spending (buy Mom a Lexus for Christmas) .
My sisters at Jungle Red Writers are going to be talking about gratitude later this week and suggested starting a gratitude journal. I think that's a fine idea. So I'll start right now. I'm grateful that I'm sitting with my patio door open and warm sun streaming in and that my fingers all work properly to type, and that I have so many online friends who communicate with me and enjoy my posts.
Life is good, friends. Make the most of it. Make every moment special. We are the only species on earth who doesn't live in the moment, but worries about the future and broods over the past. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, won't you, and if you have time, then share your list of small blessings.

Sticks and Stones

Remember that old rhyme "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me?"
We used to chant it in school when someone insulted us. It never really made us feel better, of course.

And I feel the same way about reviews. I just read one in which the reviewer clearly didn't GET the book. It was Royal Blood, that is supposed to be a comedy spoof on vampires. The reviewer blasts my heroine for being stupid enough to believe in vampires. Well, I guess that reviewer has never been in a castle in Transylvania at night, with no electricity, during a snowstorm. If the situation is right, one starts to believe in anything. I have stayed at various old castles and houses in Europe and trust me, if you hear a strange noise in the night or see something moving that you can't identify, even the most rational of us can begin to believe in ghosts, ghouls, vampires etc.

So why should I feel so upset about one review? It's just one person's opinion, after all, and there are people in the world who actually like Lady Gaga. I don't think most people realize how fragile most writers' egos are. We never believe what we have written is any good until our agents and editors tell us so. As we write we go through pockets of despair in which we tell ourselves that we are writing rubbish and will never write anything of consequence again and all our fans will leave us and the publisher will drop us. Then we get an email from our editor saying "This was fabulous" and we dance around for a few days saying "It's fabulous. I always knew it."

Some writer friends have made a pact never to read reviews. I should learn to follow that advice, but I love reading the glowing kind and I have to say that before online bloggers I always got only good reviews from the traditional sources, PW, Kirkus, Booklist etc. They have all given me starred reviews. RT Reviews always makes me a top pick. So I have to remind myself that online reviewers are not pros. They give a personal rather than an unbiased reaction to what they read.

Sometimes I'm tempted to respond and explain where the reviewer didn't quite understand what I wanted to achieve, but that's not a good idea. And besides, if one person didn't GET my book, then I still have improvements to make in my writing. So it's back to work, I guess.

And tell me--are you ever influenced by reviews? Do you read the Amazon reviews before you buy? I confess to doing that before purchasing something eletronic and if a book got all 1 stars I don't think I'd try it.