Manali Manan Desai's Blog, page 42

Can I Call Myself A Writer?

I don’t make as much money as I’d probably make with a full-time job alongside some writing gigs,

I make errors in my writing, despite many rounds of editing.

I receive negative feedback on many of my pieces which I believed were my best works.

At least once a day, I am tempted to give up being a freelancer and go back to doing a full-time job which would get me a stable income.

I’m riddled with self-doubts and anxiety every time I put out a fresh piece of writing on any platform.

So many questions like,

“Am I doing things this right?”

“ How are others in my field doing so much?”

“ Why am I not able to write as well as others?”

run through my mind most of the day.

Stories and writing that require facts, stats, and numbers, aren’t my thing. SoI stick to poetry, fiction, and experiential writing.

Despite having a handful of books published, and winning awards as well as ample appreciation for my writing, I wonder if I’m giving in my best.

And ultimately, all these things make me wonder,

“Can I Call Myself A Writer?”

Photo by Cathryn Lavery on Unsplash

I started writing since I was a teenager. Over the years, I have become confident about it, but the self-doubt still lingers. Every time someone says ‘I loved your piece’ it motivates me to continue writing. So, if you are someone, who has read my work and liked it, do drop in a comment or a note. We writers are anxious beings and a kind word from a reader is all the tonic we need to make our day.

A Sunny Day Treat

Travel Tales With M ~ Park SonsbeekA Sunny Day Treat 

In focus under this story is the Park Sonsbeek located in the city of Arnhem in the Netherlands. 

Photo captured by the author

My husband and I been cooped inside our home for over six months now. The only time we head out is for grocery shopping once or twice a week. It became a bit much after a while and we decided to explore nearby cities and their parks over weekends. 

We are comparatively new in the city of Tilburg where we moved just over a year ago. Being nature lovers, we wanted to explore the many parks and gardens this beautiful country has to offer. A simple Google search told us that Park Sonsbeek was one of the best (and still open under Covid-19 crisis) ones nearest to us. 

So, we set out on a sunny Saturday morning to explore this park which many people had appreciated in their reviews. The first thing that impressed me before we even made our way to the park, was the Arnhem Central station itself. It is designed to awe you, no doubt!

Photo captured by the author

The park is just a 5–7 minute walk from the station and I couldn’t help but admire the city as we made our way towards our destination. Before we entered the park, we could see its grandeur from the street adjacent to it. 

There is a Water Museum right at the entrance, which is currently closed. 

Photo captured by the author

The museum provides a paid tour when it’s open (I am definitely visiting it once it reopens). You cross it and walk over the gravelled path to enter the park. Right away, there is a small bridge over a canal. I have a thing for such small wooden bridges and this park is laden with ample such ,so my heart’s joy knew no bounds. 

Photo of the author captured at Park Sonsbeek

The park is huge, to say the least. Surrounded by beech trees and ample greenery, the hilly character of the park is striking as well as charming. It contains a great diversity of trees and plants and a large number of ponds, fountains and two waterfalls. 

One of the many beautiful ponds at Park SonsbeekOne of the many beautiful ponds at Park Sonsbeek

Furthermore, you will find a tea house (the Palatine) and two restaurants (the Boerderij and the Sonsbeek pavilion). The restaurants are currently closed, but the tea house provides takeaway.

We enjoyed a cup of coffee and hot chocolate while sitting at one of the many benches, basking in the sunlight and enjoying the natural beauty. 

There is a small platform of sorts afloat one of the many ponds, in front of the tea house. You can sit or stand here as well while enjoying your hot/cold beverage. 

The afloat platform outside the tea house at Park SonsbeekEnjoying a cup of hot chocolate amidst natureIn front of one of the two waterfalls at Park Sonsbeek

The park was wonderfully peaceful. We ended up spending the morning as well as a good part of the afternoon there. There is also a small enclosure with deer, rabbits, and some other animals. 

Watching them stroll around as we sat on one of the benches facing the enclosure was another peaceful experience for us. 

Deer, rabbits, and a few other animals in an enclosure at Park Sonsbeek

If you go to Arnhem put this Park on your Agenda without fail.

Pro-tip: There is a lot of walking involved, so wear comfortable shoes (no heels if possible). 

Note: We visited this park on 27th February 2021. Since the number of cases in the Netherlands is rising again, it would be wise to avoid crowds. If you are visiting parks like these, please do follow the Covid-19 guidelines.

It doesn’t end here by J. Alchem

Book blurb:

Samuel and Sara had been a couple for three years. However, Samuel doesn’t love her anymore. He had already made two attempts at breaking up with her, which failed.

Steeling himself, Samuel approaches Sara the third time to call it off but ends up in emotional turmoil following a shocking revelation. As the clouds start to clear, he is surprised to realize he is in love again. But this time Sara…

Be a witness to the couple’s journey, their ups and downs, and the greatest secret of their life that would leave you in shock and tears.

Genre: Fiction/Short Story

Pages: 44

Format: Kindle eBook

Price: 49 INR/$0.99

My Ratings: 3.8/5

Samuel and Sara have been together for the last three years. As per Sara, everything is going fine. But Samuel doesn’t feel the same way. He is planning to break up with Sara. But right before he can do that, Sara breaks unexpected news that holds Samuel back. Will their relationship survive these challenging times?

A book that leaves you wanting for more.

What I liked about the book:
->The plot doesn’t have twists until the very end (which turns out like an Oh My God! moment) but manages to keep us hooked.
-> The story is a reflection of how romantic relationships normally work. At first, you are in love, but then you slowly fall out; then you fall back and you stay with the person through thick and thin.
-> It makes you think that the story is a feel-good, done, and dusted story of romance during chronic illness, but it turns out much darker.

Quotable quotes:
-> There are languages to say what you exactly feel.
And there is love.
-> Love never dies. It fizzles out maybe, but it stays there in your heart buried by emotions controlling you. Once the fire is rekindled love breathes a new life.
-> Smiling is contagious.
->Stereotypical gender roles were never specified in their home. . The tasks had always been divided as per capability and availability.

Buying details:

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Author’s social media links:

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A Tryst with Destiny

Trigger warning: death and miscarriage*

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Something inside the couple died that day,

When their new-born came to the world but life refused to come its way.

They couldn’t feel the baby’s heartbeat

With eyes closed, it almost looked in a sweet sleep.

Something about heart failure during labor, the doctors said,

They wondered how such a tiny being could to something like that fall prey?

It looked such a beauty with its tiny hands and feet,

Hard to believe no one would ever get to hear it speak.

Oh! How they’d looked forward to playing with it,

All they now had were broken dreams of each every tiny planned bit.

Within a few hours, they had to wrap it in a grey sheet,

And by the end of the day within the earth, it was deeply buried.

Each other’s support in their lives was their only ray,

For many days the sadness and doom were here to stay.

She appeared like the light at the end of a dark tunnel with new hope,

Finding her in the garbage bin gave them a way to cope.

Dumped by her own parents like a stray,

For another set of parents, she appeared like an answer to their pray.

Their loss had brought them despair and defeat,

But destiny had its own way to help them recover from grief.

****

Note: This poem is an excerpt from my debut A Rustic Mind. It has been changed a bit from the original poem.

Antargrahiya Prem by Vijay Kakwani

Book blurb:

ये कहानी प्रेम की है। एक ऐसा प्रेम जिसने ग्रहों की सीमाएं लांघने की कोशिश की।
नलिनी जी थीं, पृथ्वी से मार्स पर आयी एक प्रोफेसर।
मिस्टर टमनस थे, एक मार्शियन (martian) और नलिनी जी के पहले स्टूडेंट।
क्या नलिनी जी प्यार का इज़हार कर पायीं? और क्या हुआ पृथ्वी पर उनके परिवार का?
क्या ये प्यार ग्रहों की सीमायें लांघ पाया?

Genre: Fiction/ Futuristic

Language: Hindi

Pages: 36

Format: Kindle eBook

Price: 49 INR/$2.99

My ratings : 4/5

This one is a sweet love story between a Earthling and a Martian. Based in the year 2221, this book tells the story of Nalini Iyer, a language professor from the Earth, and Tumnus, her student, who from Mars.

A sci-fi intersgalatial love story

What I liked about the book:
-> It is written in Hindi language and for me, it was refreshing to read a futuristic sci-fi story in my native tongue.
-> It has all the masala and drama of a Bollywood movie, making it rather believable.
-> The small gestures by the Martian, Tumnus like giving Nalini a napkin to wipe her tears and the way he utters words, are just too cute and endearing.
–> The story ends openly, leaving us guessing about what happens next. I hope there’s a sequel coming soon because I would love to read it.

Buying details:

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Author’s social media links:

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SHALOM NAMASTE by Nurani S.Ravi

Book blurb:

Fifty names figured in the list of most wanted Indian fugitives.

The opposition parties and media succeed in making the government uncomfortable with their questions!

The PM asks the NSA to act. Vasu, the head of CIS, is given the responsibility for bringing back a few to set an example.

Vasu chooses the names of Zaveri, Johar, Meera, Baskar & Ibrahim!

Shalom Namaste is the name given to this secret project executed with the help of Israelis!

Genre: Fiction/ Political Thriller

Pages: 187 pages

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 99 INR/$0.99Paperback (available only in the US): $6.00

My Ratings: 3.8/5

The PM sets up a special team to catch criminals who have committed frauds and managed to escape from the government and judiciary’s eyes. The mission is called ‘Shalom Namaste’ and is headed by CIA head Vasu. Will he be successful in catching these scamsters?

A political thriller with much entertainment.

What I liked about the book:
-> The story revolves around political affairs and burning/relevant topics like corruption, scams, frauds in the political scenario, black money in the market, the issues that started at the time of demonetization, et al.
-> I read a political thriller for the first time and quite enjoyed it.
-> The story weaves in smoothly between the fugitives’ past records, their physical appearance, family and work history, etc.

What I did not like about the book:
-> The backstories of each fugitive felt over-explained and unnecessary at times.
-> It tends to become boring and confusing at many points.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Laziness ~ A Bane or A Boon (A Poem)

I was too lazy to cook one day,

Being hungry himself,

The husband, after much grumbling,

Did it instead.

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

I was too lazy to open the door,

All those seated in the hall looked at each other as if pleading, “Please do it”

When nobody relented even after two bell rings,

Somebody came from the bedroom and did it.

Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

What do these experiences teach?

That sometimes laziness can be a boon, but mostly a bane.

Isn’t that what life is all about?

Avoiding the banes, and looking for the boons even in the bane.

Note: This poem is in response to the lazy poem prompt on Writer’s Digest.

For fitter, for fatter by Tony Tharakan

Book Blurb:

“A lovely, sweet, tightly written short story of love in Covid times.”

“Warm, funny and uplifting.”

There comes a time in every couple’s life when the husband and wife, especially if unceremoniously yoked together in 24/7 proximity due to a COVID-19 pandemic, can no longer tolerate perceived slights by their happily-ever-after partner.

Sara is unhappy that her formerly pudgy husband has lost weight. Over two years of marriage, she was the one to pressurize him to get fit. And when George did that and hogged the bathroom taking Insta selfies of his now trim figure, it dawned on Sara that she may have created a monster.

Genre: Fiction/Short Story

Pages: 11

Format: Kindle eBook

Price: 49 INR/$0.99

My ratings: 4.3/5

George and Sara meet and fall in love irrespective of the difference in their body sizes and personalities. They get married after a courtship of 3 years and it seems like it’ll be a happily ever after. However, things begin to change when George becomes fitter after marriage and turns into a fitness fanatic. Then comes the lockdown which further worsens the rising differences between the couple. Will their relationship survive the tough and rough patch? That’s what this short story is all about.

Does size matter in love?

What l liked about the book:
—> It sends out an important message that true love is irrespective of your body size and physical appearances.
—> It teaches a few good as well as bad things about health and fitness.

Quotable quotes:
—> It was not that Sara was a die-hard fitness fanatic. She watched what she ate and how much and ran for 30 minutes each day. That was enough and she even allowed herself weekly cheat days for her favourite sugary treats. It was a well-honed system that worked for her.
—> The key is smaller portions.
—> A baby was her mom’s magical solution to all of life’s problems.
—> There comes a time in every couple’s life when the husband and wife, especially if unceremoniously yoked together in 24/7 proximity due to a COVID-19 pandemic, can no longer tolerate perceived injustices by their happily-ever-after partner.

Buying details:

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Author’s social media links:

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Lost Love Late Love by Namrata Gupta

Book blurb:

“And if on that day, instead of saying that we’re late in finding each other, you had said that now that I have found you, we’ll never leave each other… Then, life would’ve been worth living.”
Kashika takes her first step into a hard corporate life, while being in an emotionally abusive relationship with Vivaan, which has taken a heavy toll on her lifestyle, but is unable to let go.
As the circumstances turn sour with physical abuse making a way into their relationship, she meets Vidit, who compels her to walk away and start a new life. Vidit and Kashika start finding solace in each other, which causes problems for both of them as Vidit is betrothed to someone else. Kashika feels Vidit is her soulmate but can’t do anything about it.
The entire situation becomes more complicated when Vivaan tries to reconnect with Kashika, and rekindle their relationship. Kashika feels tormented between her past and present, while Vidit is unable to choose between duty and his heart, making them feel stuck. With only few weeks left for Vidit’s marriage, Kashika decides to confront Vidit about their relationship.
Will Kashika and Vidit fight for their love? Has Vivaan really changed? What does fate have in store for her? Walk with Kashika as she tries to fight her destiny and doomed love life for a better future.

Genre: Fiction/Romance

Pages: 116

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 99 INR/$2.99Paperback: 200 INR/$14.99

My Ratings: 4/5

Kashika is in an emotionally abusive relationship with Vivaan. One day she just realizes she’s had enough. While she is still questioning her decision and struggling to move on, in comes Vidit. He helps her cope with the emotional trauma and they connect at a level which they’ve never had with anyone before. Their bond slowly starts to move beyond just friendship, but there’s no scope of any romance here, because Vidit is already engaged. Will Kashika be able to really move on with her past baggage and current dilemma?

If you love someone, don’t let them go, at least not without telling them how you feel.

What I liked about the book:
-> It addresses the turmoil and traums that a person in an emotionally abusive relationship goes through.
-> The few poems in the story which work like a balm on a grieving/healing heart.
-> The climax which not only takes the reader by surprise but also makes us realize the importance of taking care of those we love; especially those who are struggling emotionally.
-> Kashika’s story around her relationship with Vivaan is so relatable. Every girl is sure to be reminded of herself or of someone she knows who has been through a similar experience of a toxic relationship.
-> The book has helpful insights on abusive relationships, like its symptoms and ways to get out of it, et al. It could easily be a one stop guide for young girls and a handy friend around warning signals when in a relationship.
-> The last chapter with Vidit’s PoV.

What I did not like about the book:
-> Kashika comes off as a damsel in distress across the whole book which becomes frustrating to read at times. Because you just want someone to shake her and say, “Girl, grow up. Why do you need a romantic involvement at all?”
-> As a reader I found myself wondering why Kashika’s parents never notice, question or intervene about her personal (or even her professional) life.

Quotable quotes:
-> Perfect arrangements looked superficial, made up but natural imperfectness looked tempting and exotic.
-> Not everything is about one thing as being more important than the other. You cannot judge every situation based on a notion of importance in your head. Some situations demand a balance to be made.
-> Love knows no reason.
-> We cannot judge every situation by the same scale.
-> When we love someone with all our heart, it is only natural that we start getting insecure and possessive about them and expect them to make us their topmost priority. What else is love? Isn’t it a form of prioritizing? Isn’t it always choosing one person over and above everything and everyone else? Don’t our parents do the same for us?
-> There’s a fine line between loving someone and controlling someone. If you love someone, you want to see them happy even if you’re not the reason for it.
-> Sometimes, someone can love you passionately with their feelings and still be unable to love you the right way with their actions.
-> Sometimes we keep living where we don’t belong, dealing with what can’t be changed and just try to make it through another day. Because otherwise we feel lost, and good or bad, we try to hold on to what feels familiar.
-> Food isn’t the only thing that matters. It is the person you’re sharing it with that makes the food even more fulfilling.
-> Don’t let people treat you the way they want to. Make them treat you the way you want to be treated.
-> Sometimes, you’ve to live in grey areas. Some things can never be in black and white.
-> Life is too short not to be chasing what feeds your soul and flushes your heart with happiness.
-> There’s no right or wrong time for love. Love is neither early nor late. Love meets us when we are ready for it, when we need it and that’s always the right time. Hold on to it, don’t let it go, no matter when you find it.
-> Coffee and alcohol are always in close competition when it comes to making people bond over them.
-> Dancing is a potential that people recognize within themselves when they are high on alcohol.
-> Better be courageous once than be stuck for the rest of your life.
-> Love doesn’t always come when we want it to come. We should be brave enough to accept it with open arms when it does find us and fight for it.
-> Love is not convenient; it is inconvenient but has the power to put all convenience to shame.
-> Love is rare, difficult, demands sacrifices and is by no way mediocre.
-> Doing nothing about things and just sitting back, seeing the love of your life going away from you step by step is a sure enough way to lose the love of your life.
-> Indecision is also a decision.
-> Witnessing someone else being enough for the person you love is a blow to the self-esteem and a deep scar to the soul.
-> Perhaps, we, as humans, just learn to wear the masks better with time.
-> Love is just a dead weight when it is not yours to hold.
-> Heartbreak is very hard to live with.
-> Like a game of chess, life is worthwhile when the queen is alongside the king.
-> You’re never late in finding the love of your life.
-> Love is never late, our actions are.
-> We, as humans, complicate things more in our imagination than they are in reality.

Buying details:

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Author’s social media links:

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Tiptop – A Poem

She looked tiptop,

She was on the top of her profession,

She had a top-class house.

She had the top bachelors crooning over her.

What was missing then?

Despite having all that, the feeling of being on top of the world eluded her.

Photo by Nicolas Ladino Silva on Unsplash

Note: The following poem is inspired by a prompt on writing a top poem by Writer’s Digest.