Manali Manan Desai's Blog, page 39

In Conversation With Dr. Jyuthica Laghate

“Who’s poorer, the one who begs for money or those who have not enough to give away? Or are they reflecting one another and the same nature?”
― Robin Sacredfire

We’re all inspired by personalities who come from nothing and become a noteworthy person. Their lifestories inspire and motivate us to continue working towards our goals, in order to one day become successful. I’m no different and every once in a while, I pick a book that teaches me valuable lessons. One such book I recently read was The Empty Handed Altruist by Dr. Jyuthica Laghate. It tells the story of two brothers who literally grew up on the streets of India and went on to become successful businessmen.

Here’s my short review of the book.

Read my detailed review here

I’ve read Dr. Jyuthica’s Soul Seances before this. So when I reached out to her and asked her to be a guest on the Author Collaborative again, she was as sweet as she had been the previous occasion.

Before we had a chat, she read my latest book Love (Try) Angle. Here’s her short review on it.

Read Dr.Jyuthica’s detailed review here

So, tonight, I had my second, invigorating session with this sweet author.

IG handle: @arusticmind_

We talked about all things bookish and related to writing.

Check out my questions to Dr. Jyuthica.

Check out the answers to the above questions here

She had her set of questions for me as well.

Check out the answers to the above questions here

We had fun answering and picking each other’s brains over those 10 questions. Before wrapping up, it was time for some fun. So, what followed was a fun rapid fire round.

Check out the answers to the above questions here

After I got over laughing on her witty answers to those, she bombarded me with her own quirky questions.

Check out the answers to the above questions here

It was a great end to the day and surely a promising beginning to the weekend. You can have a look at our full conversation in the video below.

Buying details of the books mentioned in the video:

The Empty Handed Altruist on Amazon IndiaThe Empty Handed Altruist on Amazon.comLove (Try) Angle on Amazon IndiaLove (Try) Angle on Amazon.com

3 Things That The IPL Has Taught Me

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one-yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.”- Ross Perot

Cricket is one sport I’m completely fanatic about. I have the most amazing memories associated with it, especially in my growing up years. I enjoy all its formats equally.

But ever since the T20 format came in, I’ve become even more of a fan of this sport (I didn’t even know that was possible)

When the IPL began way back in 2008, I was over the moon for two reasons:

1. It would give me a chance to brag in front of the football fans who were always on about their favorite teams in the EPL (Chelsea this…, Manchester United that…., and so on).

2. I would be able to cheer for my favorite overseas players as part of my own favorite team in the IPL.

From the time it began, till now, thirteen seasons down the line, this sporting event has only grown more popular with each season. From collaborative spirits to nail-biting moments, the IPL has given cricket lovers many memorable moments.

Over and above providing ample entertainment, here are a few things I have learned by following this event.

1. It’s not over till it’s over

On several occasions, I’ve switched to another channel or task thinking, “I already who is going to win this” only to end up with regret. Why? Because I missed out on some nail-biting finishers where the winning team turned out to be completely opposite of what I presumed.

Besides teaching me to watch every match till the very last bowl, this has taught me two important things about life too:

a. You can never correctly presume what the next moment will bring till your last breath.

b. More often than not, you’ll end up being wrong, and that’s completely fine.

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2. Every moment is crucial when working

This especially holds true in the death overs of the IPL matches. One bowl hit over the fence and the game changes in the favor of the underdog team. Getting too excited or confident over this can also be dire though.

Because the very next bowl might be a dot ball or worse, a wicket-taking one.

Isn’t that what life is all about too? So,

Being vigilant at all moments, especially when an important task is on our hands, is extremely important.

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3. Well begun isn’t always well ended

Some of the top teams in the IPL (especially Mumbai Indians )have always had a rough start to the tournament. But then eventually end up either winning or at least being in the top 4.

On the contrary, teams that begin with a bang, don’t even make it to the playoffs.

This only goes to prove that, in life, too,

You can never assume that just because you performed well once, your next piece of work will be a success too.

Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedInSubscribe to my YouTube channelFollow me on Medium, Instagram (writer handle), Instagram (book reviews handle), and FacebookSend me an Email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

How to Write A Piece That Resonates

“Authenticity is what makes a relatable person believable. It is what makes the relatability sustainable. Anyone can fake relatability for a time, but authenticity is what makes it real.”- Michele Jennae

1. Write about your experiences

Despite what we think, and however mundane our every day might seem, our experiences are what make us unique.

Sharing these with the world might help someone out there, not just in learning, but also in relating to a similar experience they might have gone through. Be it a travel experience, a new recipe you tried, or a recovery you made, you never know when you might end up making someone smile or making their day better.

You never know when you might end up making someone smile or making their day better.

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2. Write on current topics/events

What is happening in your country, city, or neighborhood? Let people read what your thoughts are about the current events, be it a political rally, some new rules, and regulations, an injustice you feel needs to be spoken about; there are so many things people need to address and read.

Writing about what is current, relevant and necessary, will help people find their own voice within yours.

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3. Write on issues you feel strongly about

The world has burning issues, from equal rights to global warming. These might be affecting you directly or indirectly on most days. How do you deal with them and what kind of solutions/ steps are you taking to curb these problems. Write about these and people(readers) are sure to find it helpful as well as relatable.

The world has burning issues right from equal rights to global warming, that need a voice.

Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Medium, Instagram and Facebook.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

How To Get Over Writer’s Block?

The most common question I get asked is,

‘How to get over writer’s block?’

So here’s my two pence.

These are some things that generally work for me. I do not claim to be an expert, but I do have some experience in being a writer. So these are just some methods I have devised over the years.

1. Don’t write anything for the time being.

Usually, when you aren’t able to write, it’s your brain asking you to take a break, so take it.

Photo by Mindspace Studio on Unsplash2. Engage in a creative activity.

I go to reading because that’s my go-to comfort activity. But painting, cooking, taking a walk in the park, etc, all work well.

Photo by Rifqi Ali Ridho on Unsplash3. Talk to someone.

Writing is a cathartic experience for most writers. However, nothing can be better than a heart-to-heart conversation. Tell your loved ones about your newest experiences, especially those experiences that brought you happiness.

Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash

Nothing works better than a heart-to-heart conversation, while trying to relax your mind.

Hope these prove to be helpful. Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Medium, Instagram and Facebook.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

How To Write Everyday

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”- Anthony Robbins

Photo by Andrea Davis on Unsplash1. Set aside a few hours every day just for writing

While this may seem like a very obvious tip, it’s easier said than done. It took me years to establish and then follow a writing schedule. It takes focus and discipline. For me, early morning and late-night are the best hours, majorly because I have peace of mind and also, I’m alone, as in the family (as well as the world) is sleeping. So

Start by experimenting for a few days, and you’ll know in a week or so, as to which hours of the day help you write to the best of your ability.

Once you have that, STICK TO IT!

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash2. Maintain a journal

We have become used to digital writing and blogging. But the feeling of pen on paper is irreplaceable. Apart from helping the innumerable thoughts in your mind find a place of comfort, journaling also helps you to maintain a record of your ideas, however mundane you think they might be. Thoughts can vanish as quickly as they come so writing them down can work as a catalyst to get things moving.

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Journaling helps you to maintain a record of your ideas, however mundane you think they might be. Thoughts can vanish as quickly as they come so writing them down can work as a catalyst to get things moving.

3. Have a daily target (X number of words or pages to be written every day)

Discipline is an important aspect of any activity in life. So if you’re serious about writing, it will need discipline as well. The simplest way to achieve this is by following a schedule, sticking to it, and aiming to achieve targets every day. Start small, like 1–2 pages or 100 words, and then slowly increase these targets, as per your convenience and time availability.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

The simplest way to become disciplined is by following a schedule, sticking to it, and aiming to achieve targets every day.

Thank you for reading. 

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Medium, Instagram and Facebook.Send me an Email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

What We Are Getting Wrong About Happiness (A Short Story)

Riya remembered a song she was taught as a child and suddenly burst out laughing. That drew raised eyebrows and awkward stares from those around her, but she couldn’t care less. The ‘If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands’ seemed silly to her now, but it did make the 5-year-old her happy then.

So what had changed over the years?

Was it her understanding of happiness that had changed? Or was it the fact that her happiness was no longer confined to the four walls of a classroom or bedroom?

Riya had forgotten how to be happy or what happiness was in the pursuit of getting what she wanted and achieving her dreams. Now that she thought about it, the things that she had worked so hard for had never made her as happy as she had thought they would. Being loved, having a comfortable life, getting to eat her favorite dishes, exploring new places, trying a new drink; these things gave her more contentment than a big fat paycheque at the end of each month.

In the pursuit of getting what she wanted and achieving her dreams, Riya had forgotten how to be happy or what happiness was.

Aren’t we all like Riya that way? We believe happiness is the key to life. We believe that if we achieve something, something that we feel we deserve, something we work hard for will make us happy. But does it truly do so? The problem stems from our idea of happiness.

For instance, an average person, like Riya, if asked about what they want from life, will tell you that they want to be happy. When in fact, traditionally, the term “happy” was synonymous with good fortune, so the whole idea of happiness hinges on our ‘luck’ or ‘fortune.’

If we analyze the average person’s answer, we will understand that what they mean when they say they want to be ‘happy’ is, in fact, their desire to be at ease or feel good about themselves or even be comfortable. Isn’t it? Think about it.

Ask Sameer, for instance, who is always striving for more. He started at the bottom from being a salesman and is now the brand manager. But if you ask him whether he is happy, he’d say no. He would say he wants more. And in fact, we all do, we all strive for growth, we all want to be at the top.

We all strive for growth, we all want to be at the top.

But our notion of happiness is wrongly attached to this idea of success. We think that pleasure and contentment are the pathways to all of life’s happiness. And that once we acquire this kind of pleasure, we will have all that we want. Is that really so?

But there is more to life than happiness. Take, for instance, Priya, who almost always has a smile on her face. When asked how she manages to be so cheerful all the time, she simply said,

“I’m just grateful for what I have, which for me is enough. I don’t aim to be filthy rich or become famous. There isn’t much I need more than I already have, realistically speaking. So why shouldn’t I be happy?”

Priya’s response brings another important aspect to the fore. That the result of her happiness is that she thinks she has enough.

We are all like Priya in some way or the other, too but unlike her, what we fail to understand is that we all have had our struggles to reach where we are today. However, where we stand today is what we have, at one point in our life, wanted. It is just that, today, where we are, is not always where we want to be tomorrow as well.

But what we fail to realize is that these wants will keep getting bigger and that happiness is not a product of getting what we want. It is, in fact, a byproduct of the challenges and struggles we have to overcome and face to get there.

The happiness will linger only for a while, and then new wants will spring up. This happiness cannot simply be refueled by wishing, wanting, and striving for more all the time. Happiness is fleeting in nature, and therefore, it alone isn’t enough.

Happiness is the state of being content, but we don’t or didn’t evolve to be simply content. There’s a lot more to it, as we repeatedly said. To strive, struggle, and compete is what leads to progress and evolution, and the chapter of happiness starts unfolding. Being happy alone isn’t going to be a reward worthy of wholesome happiness!

In the words of  Nietzsche, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

This ‘why’ is what makes our story; for a chef, it is getting that perfect taste in the food and the struggle to reach there, for a businessman, it is the courage, challenge, and uncertainty that comes with taking risks on bringing new ideas and propositions to the ever-transforming market.

The story we live and choosing a certain level of discomfort and suffering to attain deeper fulfillment is the real secret.

In short,

you don’t acquire happiness. You earn it.

And never forget, it isn’t the product but a byproduct. Hence, the idea that some peaceful state of pleasure can be constant although desirable is ill-advised.

The story we live and choosing a certain level of discomfort and suffering for attaining a deeper fulfillment is the real secret.

The life that we lead,
The choices that we make,
The struggles that we go through,
Get us where we want to,
This is our journey; this is our story,
The happiness we get thus is temporary
It is not the product; it is not the end,
It is the byproduct, and in the journey of life, just a bend.

*The characters named in the story are fictional.

Note: This story was originally published on The Naked Truth.

Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedInSubscribe to my YouTube channelFollow me on Medium, Instagram and FacebookSend me an Email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

How To Give a Title to Your Writings?

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”-Robert Frost

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

They say that well begun is half done. For a writer, that well-begun happens through the title of their writings. Especially in the age of the internet, and shortening attention spans, we can only grab the attention of potential readers through our story titles.

For a writer, well-begun happens through the title of their writing.

I’m no expert in this area, but in my little experience, what I’ve learned is the following:

1. Determine what kind/form of writing it is: blog post, poem, a or short story

Just like we (on a general basis) cannot have the same name for people and pets (imagine a human being and a dog both named ‘Skippy’ or ‘Peanut’), we should avoid giving similar titles to various forms and genres of writing as well.

So the first basic step is to identify the kind and form of writing you have indulged in.

Ask yourself: is it a blog post, an article, a poem, or a short story?

Example titles:

Blog post: How to Give an Appropriate Title to Your StoryPoem: Titling or My Story TitlePhoto by Thought Catalog on Unsplash2. Determine the most important message being conveyed by the piece.

The underlying theme or message of your writing will help you determine how to give it a title. Not to mention it also helps the readers get an idea of what to expect from your piece.

For instance, if you are writing about feminism or equal rights, make sure to include those words in your title.

An example title: Why Feminism At Home Matters More Than it Does At Workplaces

Photo by Kat Stokes on Unsplash3. Remember the KISS (Keep it simple and short)

Lengthy titles tend to discourage potential readers from reading the piece, especially if it’s on the internet. Misleading or clickbait titles are also a big no-no. This is especially because, if after reading the story the readers are displeased and find no relevance between the title and the content of the story, they will not read your next one. Why does that matter? Because if you’re a serious writer and aim to write regularly, you don’t want to lose potential regular readers.

So, remember the KISS formula while coming up with story titles for your pieces. Meaning, keep the title simple and short.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Medium, Instagram and Facebook.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

I Can, But I Can’t ~ A Poem

I can’t hold a conversation for long, 

But I can listen to someone talk for hours. 

I can’t drive, 

But I can find my way around new places quite easily. 

I can’t swim, 

But I can stay afloat during stressful times and more importantly, not drown in self-pity. 

I can’t dance,

But I can make others dance to my tunes if the situation demands so. 

I can’t sing, 

But I know the lyrics of the least popular and unknown songs. 

I can’t bake, 

But I know the best places and home bakers who can satiate my sweet tooth. 

Photo by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash

I recently interacted with friends and followers on social media (Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp) where I asked everyone their age and what they can’t do. It began with my own confession, 

“I’m 32, and I can’t hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes.”

It led to a surprisingly cathartic experience where people confessed their hearts out. Maybe it will help you feel better too.

Thank you for reading.

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How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Medium, Instagram and Facebook.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

Groomnapped (The Groom Series Book 1) by Sundari Venkatraman

Book blurb:

The lovely and feisty Surekha is the eldest of three daughters of a carpenter from the wrong side of the tracks. She teaches science and maths in the Bihar Public School.

Ameya is the only son of a millionaire farmer-cum-builder and over and above that, he’s educated too.

They meet and fall in love quite easily, the drawback being the dowry system prevalent in Bihar. With Ameya’s parents expecting a huge dowry and Surekha’s parents having a tough time eking a living out of their humble income, it seems like the match between the two lovers is one made in hell.

Ameya isn’t one to take things lying on his back. But when the parents who adore him otherwise are so set against the marriage, will he be able to make Surekha his?

Genre: Fiction/Romantic Drama

Pages: 92

Format: Kindle eBook

Price: 99 INR/$2.99

My Ratings: 3.8/5

Book cover taken from Amazon

Love is beyond societal rules and expectations.

What I liked about the book:
-> How Ameya and her family are shown to be so broad-minded despite their financial standing and circumstances.
-> The apt portrayal of our society wherein, despite the prospective groom, being not so good looking, earning less, or having no proper financial stability, expects a dowry, only because he belongs to the supposedly inferior gender.
-> Despite being a short read, the book conveys many positive social messages, the biggest one being that of patriarchy.
-> Ameya’s thinking is shown to be different than most men of his city and state. This is because of his higher education and possible exposure to a world where women as treated as equals. I loved how, via this, the author has highlighted the importance of good education.

What I did not like about the book:
-> I wish there was more depth to the characters and especially to the plotline.
-> A little bit of drama between the families, in accepting Ameya and Surekha, might have added more fun; especially before the epilogue.

Quotable quotes:
-> There are no ethics left in this world anymore.
-> Weddings were a great time to take licenses. Most of the love affairs began with wedding galas. It was an exciting time for youngsters to rub shoulders with the opposite sex.
-> People will gossip whatever we do. Can we stop living because of that?
-> It is very rare these days that young men want to spend time with their parents.
-> If we live our lives to suit the world, we won’t have a life at all, at least not one that we want for ourselves.
-> People could be cruel when they got a chance to shame someone they knew.
-> Only education is going to help us all if we want to get out of our poverty.
-> Why should we buckle down to society’s stupid diktats? They are not going to suffer after we spend money that we don’t have.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Author’s social media links:

InstagramFacebookLinkedIn

Saini Subramanyam vs. 2020: A Lockdown Story by Avinash Matta

Book blurb:

To love or not to love?
To pursue music or study engineering?
To eat South Indian food or North Indian?

Arjun Saini Subramanyam is a confused teenager with a life full of conflicting choices. Even as he struggles to pick the better choice, life throws more challenges at him as the lockdown is announced. His paternal grandparents, the Sainis, arrive from Amritsar; and his maternal grandparents, the Subramanyams, arrive from Visakhapatnam. His Mom and Dad are busy working from home, school is closed, and board exams are indefinitely postponed.

Arjun has to single-handedly deal with his constantly brawling gang of grandparents and try to unite them. As family secrets are revealed and old promises are broken, Arjun experiences a roller coaster of emotions before finding stability and zen-like wisdom on accepting life.

Genre: Fiction/Humour

Pages: 126 pages

Format: Kindle eBook

Price: 99 INR/$2.99

My Ratings: 4.6/5

Arjun Saini is the child of a Punjabi father and a Telugu+Tamilian mother. He has grown-up trying to keep his grandparents from cutting each others’ throats during their year-end and month-long stays with him and his parents. Cut to 2020, when they’re all forced to remain under one roof with no escape from each other. Will Arjun be able to make the adults and the senior citizens become amicable?

Book cover taken from Amazon

A hilariously realistic tale of the 2020 lockdown in India.

What I liked about the book:
-> The hilarious reasons answers listed out about the kind of explanations Indian parents give to their children when they ask, “How was I born?”
-> Paati (maternal grandmother) and Priya’s characters who rightly portray quite a few people who believe who judge and look down upon non-vegetarians.
-> The apt and hilarious circumstances of the lockdown 2020 make this one a highly relatable read.
-> The ingenious ideas of Arjun, around Tiktok, and then the distribution of meals, that help dissipate the differences between the adults.
-> The cross-cultural conflicts are depicted perfectly (and hilariously) without being stereotypical.
-> The story makes you live the various emotions that we might have felt during the lockdown – like the initial feeling of frustrations when you are forced to do your own work as domestic help is not available, working from home wearing boxer shorts, etc.

-> The reader tips included after every important reference. These were seriously LOL.
-> The discussions around Arjun’s further education and career that bring out the ‘Don’t follow your passion because it doesn’t get you money’ thinking of most Indian parents.

What I did not like about the book:
-> Paati’s character (maternal grandmother) is shown in a negative light, but then Rahul (Arjun’s father) defends her, which seems a little wrong and unrealistic.
-> Dadi’s and Paati’s characters are shown to be bickering while Dada and Taata (maternal grandfather) seem to mind their own business despite not liking each other so much. It felt like only the women cause problems when it comes to household disagreements and arguments, which is a stereotype.

Quotable quotes:
->Most children, at some point in their childhood, ask a question that arises out of their natural tendency to be curious- How was I born? And most parents come with fairy-tale answers out of their natural tendency to hide the truth. If one were to compile all these answers and publish them, he would have a best-seller on their hands.
->When mom says, ‘that’s enough’, we know it’s enough and Mom always has the final say in our house, only until my grandparents are not around that is.
->”Even Abhishek Bachhan has idlis for breakfast every morning.”
“That’s why his movies flop at the box office.”
->”I am a mouse it seems. And what are you?A bhalu? Yes, yes. You’re a bhalu who eats aloo.”
-> If you’ve witnessed a lot of family feuds, you’d know that every feud has a point of no return, which is basically a point where someone says something so insulting or objectionable and that catapults both the parties into unsigned lifetime agreement of fighting, taunting, tussling, brawling, suing, and in some cases (like our very own Mahabharata) even warring.
-> “I wanted to ask why everybody said ‘listen to your gut’ because my gut doesn’t speak to me, it’s just filled with gas half the time.
->Kids these days don’t appreciate the freedom and choices their parents give them.
->Very few people in this world have the blessing to follow a path where the soul is content and the wallet is full.
->If you want to listen to your heart, you need to be prepared for the struggle. If you want a comfortable life with a good income, then forget your heart and choose what would be profitable in the long run.
->Too many cooks spoil the broth they say. Well, too many opinions in the family spoil the child’s mind, I say.
-> It’s best to resolve personal differences at the earliest. Otherwise, the anger and frustration ferment over time and if left unaddressed for long, they turn sour like the idli batter that’s left out in the open for several days. And if people with such sour differences end up being locked in the same house, like a terrible season of Bigg Boss, it’s a nightmare for life.
->Love doesn’t need languages.
->We need to learn to live and let live.
-> We needn’t be awfully correct all the time. It is okay to do what we want to do as long as we accept others wholeheartedly and let them do what they want to do.
->If we don’t want to be forced to do something, then we shouldn’t force others either.
-> Stop trying to think who is right and who is wrong. Maybe nobody is right or wrong, we just have our opinions about everything, and we’re quite sensitive about them.
-> Although a few differences will always remain, they’re good differences. Because as a society we need some differences to keep us glued together.
->”You can’t go around making fun of others just because someone made fun of you.”
“This is the age of being righteous and ideal. Sometimes you have to act clever so others don’t take advantage of you.”
-> To understand someone completely, it’s important to understand their sometimes crazy family and how that affects their behaviour.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Author’s social media links:

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