Don Calame

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Don Calame

Goodreads Author

in New York, The United States


Member Since
August 2010

Don Calame the author of SWIM THE FLY, BEAT THE BAND, CALL THE SHOTS and DAN VERSUS NATURE. He is also a professional screenwriter whose film projects include EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH and HOUNDED. Of his many prior occupations, he says his most satisfying was teaching elementary school for four years in Los Angeles, where he received the LAUSD District Intern Golden Apple Award and a Los Angeles Education Partnership Grant. He lives in British Columbia.

Look, I’m not going to pretend I’ve been the best blogger in the world. Or the best social media contributor. I find that when I am blogging or when I am glued to my phone all the time I am not writing or doing all the other things I love to do with my finite and precious life hours. Plus, I’m lazy when it comes to things I don’t love to do. Like blogging or contributing to social media.

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Published on June 12, 2018 10:27 • 6 views
Average rating: 3.88 · 5,514 ratings · 1,129 reviews · 5 distinct worksSimilar authors
Swim the Fly (Swim the Fly,...

3.88 avg rating — 3,482 ratings — published 2009 — 23 editions
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Beat the Band (Swim the Fly...

3.93 avg rating — 1,059 ratings — published 2010 — 16 editions
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Call the Shots (Swim the Fl...

3.95 avg rating — 578 ratings — published 2012 — 13 editions
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Dan vs. Nature

3.58 avg rating — 387 ratings — published 2016 — 3 editions
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Don Calame: Exclusive Candl...

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 4 ratings
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More books by Don Calame…
Swim the Fly Beat the Band Call the Shots
(3 books)
3.90 avg rating — 5,119 ratings

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Don Calame wrote a new blog post
Look, I’m not going to pretend I’ve been the best blogger in the world. Or the best social media contributor. I find that when I am blogging or whe... Read more of this blog post »
Dan vs. Nature by Don Calame
"Couldn't put it down. The shenanigans that these boys think up are so funny and clever."
Don Calame and 1 other person liked Tanya Procknow's review of Dan vs. Nature:
Dan vs. Nature by Don Calame
"This is a YA intended for guys. It says outrageously funny and wickedly raunchy. It was both. If you aren't too mature to find humor in B.O, farting, puking, wiping with poison ivy, a few bear attacks, a screaming, pooping baby-real-a-lot, embarra..." Read more of this review »
Dan vs. Nature by Don Calame
Don Calame rated a book it was amazing
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
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Desperation by Stephen King
by Stephen King (Goodreads Author)
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Don Calame made a comment on The Inside Scoop
" Hi Tracy,

Thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot to me.

I really appreciate all the support I have been getting from booksellers, teachers, libraria
...more "
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A Widow's Story by Joyce Carol Oates
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Half a Life by Darin Strauss
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More of Don's books…
“...The Things we do not want to speak abot are the very things we need to speak about most”
Don Calame, Swim the Fly

“Oh, by the way," Coop announces as he weaves his DeathBot ship through a barrage of space debris on his laptop screen. "In case you didn't know. It's national 'That's What She Said' Day."
I give him a thumbs-up. "I like it."
We're camping out in Sean's backyard tonight. It's another one of our traditions. One night, every summer, we buy a ton of junk food and energy drinks and set up Sean's six-person tent in the far corner of his yard.
We've got an extension cord running from the garage so that we can rough it in style, with computers and a TV and DVD player. There's a citronella candle burning in the middle of the tent to ward off mosquitoes and to mask the thick stink of mildew. Everyone's brought sleeping bags and pillows, but we aren't planning on logging too many Zs.
Sean enters the tent carrying his Xbox. "I don't think there are enough sockets for all of these."
I waggle my eyebrows at Coop. "That's what she said."
Coop busts up.
Sean stands there, looking confused. "I don't get it."
"That's what she says," Coop says, sending him and me into hysterics.
Sean sighs and puts the Xbox down. "I can see this is going to be a long night."
"That's what she said," me and Coop howl in chorus.
"Are you guys done yet?"
Coop is practically in tears. "That's what she said."
"Okay. I'll just keep my mouth shut," Sean grumbles.
"That's what she said." I can barely talk I'm laughing so hard.
"Enough. No more. My cheeks hurt," Coop says, rubbing his face.
I point at him. "That's what she said."
And with that, the three of us fall over in fits.
"Oh, man, now look what you made me do."
Coop motions to his computer. "That was my last DeathBot ship."
"That's what she said," Sean blurts out, laughing at his nonsensical joke.
Coop and I stare at him, and then silmultaniously, we hit Sean in the face with our pillows.”
Don Calame, Swim the Fly

“Excuses are like male nipples. They're completely useless.”
Don Calame

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