Emje McCarty's Blog, page 19

inktober 27th

i just read wild souls by emma marris.
i spend a lot of time reading & thinking about our ecology and how people have severed themselves from nature….

this drawing happened randomly; i was trying to draw just a deer because my family & i recently stopped at a roadside attraction full of caged souls…so-called “ambassadors” of their species…as if they had a choice.

as i was drawing it, i found myself thinking, “maybe it’s time to start making sacrifices to old gods.” inktober/october is coming to an end. which means the veil is thinning. a good time for said sacrifices.
i’m thinking of throwing an ipad or such onto the sacrificial fires…. sacrifice a new god to one of the old gods?

inktober 26th

i was thinking about someone who used to love me when i inked this. (the song “walking on sunshine played” as i inked it…followed by “the sweetest thing.”) 
i have spent a lot of time mourning him & wondering why i fucked things up so hard. then recently i realized the reason i pushed him away was because he threatened my core belief that i am unlovable…so he had to go. i was in my early twenties and as broken as broken can be. he suffered for it.

i have been struggling for some time now to open my heart again. it had been creaking shut for many years but finally slammed shut during an abusive relationship & has not budged since. just last week i realized that i have been trying like the dickens to open my heart to others…but i actually need to open it to me. 

some of you might be like, “dur…” but i had to figure it out. and i have now. i have opened my heart to me. 

now i can do anything. 

inktober 25th

at this point i am using inktober to brainstorm storyline & illustrations for a pet project–saint nobody.

inktober 24th

still thinking of comic characters for projects…still going off-script as far as the official inktober prompts go.

inktober 23rd

more thoughts on comics i want to be writing…but am too busy making pizza crusts….
damn my need for income….

inktober 22nd

i don’t need no stinkin’ prompts; i draw what ever pops into my little head. and right now i’m thinking about my comics….

inktober 21st

two minute neurotic comics

emje the enby update

i’m not happy with my comic memoir emje the enby.
i’m not happy with the illustrations. i’m not happy about how linear it is. and as i explore my internal family system (ifs)…i don’t think it is as simple as labeling myself “non-binary”…. that was showing up a little in my comic, i think, & i want to flush it out more.
i have been doing some intense inner work the past couple of days (weeks, months, years, decades….) and i might just have had a breakthrough.
so! i am starting over. all over. new title. new illustrations. new storyline.

new beginnings.
again.

inktober 20th