Emje McCarty's Blog, page 17

little skeletons

coming soon!!!
the first novel i have written in this century
to be published by the amazing tara & candice over at raw earth ink

confusion perfume: motherhood. menopause. & mass hysteria

so who was all like…i wonder what bernice is up to these days?
okay, just me?
if you want to read my old comics about bernice & stinky. check out confusion perfume & other neurotic comics

while making this comic…it occurred to me that a male character i had made up (to represent a variety of bad boyfriends) really resembles my ex-husband (whom i met after writing these comics.)
life copying art, i guess.

i still haven’t gotten it to look like i want it to…. i will keep trying. even though i am hating my art right now.

on grief & letting go

as i went for a hike today, it occurred to me that the grief of losing my brother & the grief of my marriage ending are tied up together.

yesterday was my dead brother’s birthday. fifteen years ago that day is the last time i ever talked to him. he was murdered just 19 days later.

my marriage was already falling apart when my brother tragically died on my husband’s birthday.
my marriage was over the day of my brother’s funeral.

(my husband had a nice suit he wore to any event he could. i tried to get him to pack it for the funeral, but he acted as if i were insane. then, the day of my brother’s catholic mass funeral, my husband wore khakis & a ball cap into the church. i was upset, but i did not confront him. he kept asking me what was wrong, & when i finally did tell him, he responded, “well look at what you’re wearing.” as the mother of a toddler & an infant, i was dressed in the nicest clothes that fit me; i thought i looked nice. this is when i decided to divorce him.)

yesterday, i said goodbye to my brother. i am letting go of my grief. he is going on to wherever he is going, and i am going on to live my life.

today i realized i am also letting go of my failed marriage. i had not realized how tight i was holding on to it. how woven it was into the grief i felt about losing my brother.

be still. breathe. move forward.

(the above image is a first draft of a possible cover for my upcoming novel, now titled little skeletons. i can’t decide if i like this version or not. i’m going to do some more drafts. let me know what works.)

neurotic comics

typically from thanksgiving until christmas is a shitshow for my emotional state.
coming from a dysfunctional family pretty much ruined the holiday season for me. then my brother (who’s birthday is november 30th) died on december 19th (2008). that pretty much fucked all the work i had done to not spin out every holiday season.
this thanksgiving, my youngest requested a “traditional” thanksgiving. usually i do like eggrolls or dumplings or something completely non-traditional. i think that helped me to cope.
because
making a traditional thanksgiving dinner left me empty & raw.
empty except for all the rage, that is.
in related news, i identified another of my internal family system members….

saint nobody page four

saint nobody page three

two minute neurotic comics

nothing to see here…just exorcising some demons….

neurotic comics

it made me laugh.
doesn’t everyone self-medicate by making comics?

two minute neurotic comic

my kid brought me home some covid and i spent several days sick & pissed off before disappearing into a haze of self-loathing & despair…but i’m feeling much better now.

neurotic comic

i’m doing all these random comics, playing with style…spacing…lettering, etc. trying to figure out how exactly i want to tell my story (s)
if you like some way i am doing something, i would love to hear about what is working.