Elizabeth George's Blog, page 47

How Do I Put Away Bitterness?

The one prevalent human response to pain is to become resentful and bitter, either toward the person who hurt us, or toward God, or both! Bitterness against someone who has wronged you is an evil cancer that, left unchecked, can destroy you. The Bible tells us to put away bitterness (Ephesians 4:31), “looking carefully…lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).

The Antidote

The antidote to bitterness is forgiveness. As Jesus hung on the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Stephen followed his Lord’s example and cried out, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin,” as a mob continued stoning him to death (Acts 7:60).

When you fail to forgive others, you sentence yourself to a life of bitterness. Helen Roseveare was a missionary doctor who was brutally assaulted while serving in Africa. Yet, but God’s grace, she forgave those who wronged her and spent 20 more years doing missionary service. Forgiving her abusers freed her to continue her mission of serving others. Another outstanding woman of faith, Elisabeth Elliot, forgave the men who savagely killed her missionary husband. In fact, she continued for two more years in ministry to the very people who killed him.

Don’t let bitterness gain a foothold in your life. Seek God’s help for an unforgiving heart. Search out any bitterness and failure to forgive, turn it over to your heavenly Father, and choose to forgive.

A Prayer

Father God, with His dying breath Your Son asked You to forgive those who crucified Him. Another man, Stephen, asked You to forgive those who were stoning him to death. Your Word tells me to forgive as many times as I have been sinned against—and more. I don’t want bitterness to hinder my relationship with You, my loving and forgiving Lord. I am coming before You today, begging for Your help to be a woman who forgives even when it’s hard and it hurts—a woman who forgives just as I have been forgiven. Thank You for my salvation and Your forgiveness. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

This devotion is from Prayers for a Woman’s Heart, coming in April! Discover prayers to grow in wisdom and understanding, for strength through fear and depression, and for patience and contentment. PRE-ORDER today and we’ll send you free gifts!

RESPOND

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

Have I allowed bitterness to fester in my heart?

REMEMBER

When you fail to forgive others, you sentence yourself to a life of bitterness.
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Read How Do I Put Away Bitterness? on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Taming My Tongue

I can never read James 3 without laughing out loud. That’s because of a super crazy lesson about taming the tongue my two daughters experienced in their Sunday school class at church. Pastor Eric was leading the kids in his class through James, chapter 3, and he especially wanted them to learn how awful the words they speak can be.

So off Pastor Eric went to the supermarket, where he made a curious purchase in the fresh meat department. He bought a huge, slimy, bloodred, five-pound cow tongue!

Ewww!

And sure enough, at church on Sunday, Pastor Eric unwrapped the cow tongue and passed it around to everyone in the class. He told the kids to look at it. To smell it. To touch it!

I’m sure you can image the responses. “Ugh!” “Gross!” “Nasty!” A few kids even said, “I’m going to throw up!”

I’m guessing Pastor Eric was smiling and fist-pumping in his heart, thinking, “Yes! Point made!” Then he had the group open their Bibles, and they all read and discussed how terrible the tongue is—and the damage their words can do to others without taming their tongue.

Every Word

The Bible teaches us that every person alive has a big problem with their mouth and their words. “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing…this should not be.” (James 3:10) But God’s Word also tells us what do to about our tongue—and how to tame it (see the Respond section below).

Every day when you wake up, ask God to help you live in a way the blesses Him and helps people. One sure way to do this is with your words! These three steps will help you in taming your tongue:

Think before you speak.

Better yet, pray before you speak!

And if you get angry, don’t say a word.

Lord, I know how it feels to be hurt by something someone says, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Please give me words that are kind and encouraging to others. Amen.

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RESPOND

Here are two instructions from God’s heart to yours. Underline what these verses tell you to say—and not say—with your tongue.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
“Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.” (1 Peter 3:10)

REMEMBER

Every day when you wake up, ask God to help you live in a way the blesses Him and helps people.
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Read Taming My Tongue on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Finding Peace

Do you have a favorite place that ministers peace to your soul? Jim and I have a place we love to retreat. It’s a pleasant 45-minute drive from our home. What draws us there? Well, there’s an expanse of the Pacific Ocean and it’s never-ceasing surf. We never fail to walk along its sandy shore.

After our walk on the beach, there’s a charming sidewalk café beside a large pool that’s fed by a soothing waterfall where we share a snack. There’s also a cascading fountain in the center veranda where we enjoy our sandwich and coffee.

Still Waters

One day while I was thinking about our place, it struck me that water is the common denominator in all we love there. It calms us, inspires us, and moves us to focus on God’s larger plans for us.

As we look at God’s Word and His many provisions for us as His dear sheep, we discover an image of water in Psalm 23:2, “He leads [us] beside the still waters.”

He—the Shepherd—knows all about our need for peace and provides it. He made us, He planned our path, He knows our every challenge, and He provides the peace we need for fulfilling His will for our lives.

Leads—Our Shepherd leads us to the places where peace is plentiful, and He makes sure we attain it.

Still waters—He leads us beside still, restful waters of comfort.

Steady Stress

We know that we become dry on a steady diet of stress. We quickly become depleted and weary. We stagger, we stumble, we crumble … all because we need time beside still waters. Today, let’s follow God’s lead there. Find a quiet spot, alone, for 5-10 minutes and pray to God, asking Him for His peace. As you move your focus off of the hectic busyness and demands of life, and onto our Good Shepherd, you’ll find you are resting in His presence and peace.

Dear Lord, You offer me Your peace. My job is to receive. Thank You. Amen.

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RESPOND

“He leads me beside the still waters.” (Psalm 23:2)

What is the first thing I turn to when I’m stressed and need calm and peace?

REMEMBER

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isa. 26:3
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Creating a Safe Space

I carry in my Bible a tattered copy of a newspaper article from the Honolulu Advertiser dated Thursday, January 27, 2000, titled “Tiny Kauai snail wins protection—Agency to develop plan for survival.” It seems that the creature known as Newcomb’s snail—only a quarter-inch in size, a little larger than the head of a nail—is now listed by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service as threatened under the Endangered Species Act. As a result, a team of biologist will develop a recovery plan to help the species survive.

Now, are you wondering why I would clip and save such an article? Why, it’s because of the children. If the government is willing to go to such drastic measures to preserve a tiny brown creature like a snail on the remotest island of Hawaii, shouldn’t we do even more for our children?

Sheltering Your Family

Your job as mom and homemaker is to make sure that your children’s lives are precious to you, that they have a shelter from the world. You see, the home is God’s recovery plan for our family.

Relationships are severed. Friends turn away. Abilities are overlooked. Dreams are dashed.

Simply Blessed

But how blessed is the husband and child who can simply come home after the rigors of the day and know that all is well there … and will remain well. How blessed they are to have one place—a place you are in charge of—that is a safe space, a harbor, a shelter for their bodies and souls.

Home must be the one place our loved ones can count on to hold them up and build them up again. Let’s commit this week to do the work that makes our home a haven. 

Lord, I want to make our home the happy hub of life for my family. Please guide me in creating a warm and bright place that refreshes and encourages my family. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECT

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 NIV)

Do I intentionally make the effort to create a home where my family longs to be?

REMEMBER

Home must be the one place our loved ones can count on to hold them up and build them up again.
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Read Creating a Safe Space on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Coping with an Empty Nest

Do you miss the laughter and conversations of a full house? Have your kids moved on to college, marriage, or their own homes? I understand how hard having an empty nest can be. It seems like our children fly the coop all too soon! Rather than giving into sadness, I found a wonderful way to deal with the loneliness when my girls left home.

Filling Our Days When Our Nest Is Empty

Now is the perfect time to minister to and encourage those outside of your family. Take some time to pray about these questions:

How effectively am I using my free time for God’s Kingdom?
What doors of ministry are open to me now?

It might be discipling another woman in the faith. Writing emails to a lonely missionary. Taking a meal to a cancer patient. Time is yours to manage. Make it count.

Encouraging others requires a heart filled with sensitivity to their needs. If your heart is filled with concern for God’s people, you’ll be privileged to refresh and encourage many. Proverbs 12:25 says a kind word cheers you up. What a sweet gift to give others!

Where do we glean this kindness from? By sitting at Jesus’ feet and studying the Word. Time with God will fill you with His Spirit, which will naturally overflow to others.

Family Forever

And remember to include your family in this ministry of encouragement. Even though our kids aren’t under our watchful eye, they can still be covered by our prayers. Elisabeth Elliot’s mother prayed and wrote letters to her six children twice a week. For 45 years. Before computers and email!

What can you do today to minister to people near and far? As a loving, praying woman after God’s own heart, reach out to someone today—and every day—with your prayers and your love. It’ll fill their hearts … and yours!

God, help me take advantage of every opportunity to share Your love with others. I want to use my free time to serve You and encourage friends and family. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECTION

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” (Proverbs 12:25)

Take a few minutes today. Who could use a word of encouragement? A call?

REMEMBER

We can fill our heart when our nest is empty with ministry and encouragement to others.
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Read Coping with an Empty Nest on Elizabeth & Jim George.

How to Deal with Temper Tantrums

What mom hasn’t denied their toddler a cookie and then had their normally-sweet child throw themselves on the floor and scream? Sometimes the easiest thing to calm a temper tantrum is to give in and give our child what they want. Especially when we’re running late for carpool, they’re hungry, and we’re tired!

From One Mom to Another

So how is a mom to deal patiently and wisely with a temper tantrum? Take a deep breath and choose to give your children what they need, not always what they want. After all, we know what groundwork needs to be done for the future of our children. Teaching our children self-discipline now gives them a foundation so they can live God’s way in the future.

Is it always easy to not allow a 7-year-old to stay up hours past their bedtime? Or to enforce limited screen time with our teens? I’m afraid not, but take heart. And that’s exactly what it’ll take: a heart of dedication. Scripture says that we’re to teach our children …. No matter the obstacles, the arguments, or the “Yes, but, Moms.”

For When the Days are Long

When we fail to instill discipline in our children, we aren’t equipping them to know how to control their emotions and to make wise decisions. God says to us loud and clear: teach your children and start early in their lives. Teach them faithfully and consistently. And most of all, do so from a heart of love.

Also, remember that little ones are watching and learning from you. Your personal self-discipline and self-control is important. Spending time each day with God and reading His Word sets the path of your life—thinking those things that are true, spending money wisely, reacting with calmness, eating balanced portions—and gives a wonderful example to your kids.

A Final Thought

Some days it will feel like a mountain of obstacles stand in the way of helping your kids choose self-discipline. They’ll protest—that’s normal! But a wise mom doesn’t let whining rock her decisions. God offers you His grace and strength to push through those moments. He is with you as you dedicate your time, energy, and life to Him and your family and take full advantage of the opportunity to train your children.

Dear Lord, thank You for guiding and encouraging me with Your Holy Spirit … especially when I’m tired and my kids are tearful. Help me raise my children to follow after Your own heart. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECT

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

In what areas am I personally lacking self-discipline?

REMEMBER

Choose to give your children what they need, not always what they want.
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Read How to Deal with Temper Tantrums on Elizabeth & Jim George.

God Has a Plan for You

When something terrible happens in your life, are you ever tempted to ask, “What good could come out of this?” It looks like a disaster. It feels like a disaster. Therefore, we quickly conclude, it is a disaster!”

Comfort in the Chaos

Corrie ten Boom, a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II and a woman who desperately needed hope every minute of every day, made this statement: “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” We often need this reminder … as did the Israelites when they were taken captive for 70 years.

To them, it may have appeared that God was finished with them. After all, He had allowed their country to be destroyed and them to be sent into exile. This must have looked like a disaster! What good, they may have wondered, could come out of this?

God Won’t Forget You

But God did not forget His people who were suffering in Babylon. And, my friend, He won’t forget you! God had a beautiful plan to turn His people into a beautiful new people with a beautiful new purpose. He is the author of history—including your history. You are part of His grand plan—‘“I know the plan that I have for you,’ declare the LORD” (Jeremiah 29:11). And because He knows the future, and has designed your personal agenda, and is present with you, you can have boundless hope.

Put God’s Powerful Promise to Work

Recall … God’s promises of hope when you are discouraged.
Review … God’s words of hope.
Resist … the temptation to give into hopelessness.
Rely … on the God of hope and trust Him.
Rejoice … and thank God that you are the recipient of His hope.

And lastly, remember that no matter how bad things become, God has a good plan and He will be with you in every hour you’re in need.

RESPOND

Dear Lord, thank You that I can grab hold of Your hope, and use it to fight against defeating thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECT

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I’ll recount God’s goodness in my life and the lives of those I love by making a list of His faithfulness.

REMEMBER

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” Corrie ten Boom
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Read God Has a Plan for You on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Ignoring Instagram – Teen Tuesday

The mind is an amazing thing. It can carry on thousands of functions at the same time. Sometimes that’s good, and sometimes that’s not so good. For instance, when you check your phone while your parent is talking to you … that’s bad! There you are, right in front of them, and yet you’re thinking about something totally different.

Checking Out

What’s even more amazing than the mind’s capacity to wander is that your mom can tell when you’re not listening. How do they do that?! We think we’re clever. We nod at what we think is the right moment … yet they still catch us checking our phone.

Staying Focused 

Why is it so hard for us to focus? Here are just a few reasons. One is that we’re bombarded with entertainment, things, stuff. Phones have 100 different apps, games, and texting. Another is busyness. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against being busy. But we have to make time for others between extracurricular activities, practices, and hobbies.

Ignoring Instagram

When you’re with your family or hanging out with friends, the loving thing to do is be all there, both mentally and physically. This will take some concentration and effort on your part. But we’ll follow God’s Word—“Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10)—when we train ourselves to ignore Instagram (at least for our conversations with others) and devote our full attention on others when we’re with them.

RESPOND

Dear Lord, please help me put real energy toward giving my full attention to the people I’m with. I want to honor them. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECT

“Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10)

How often do I check my phone when I’m in the middle of a face-to-face conversation with my family or friends? Is this honoring the person I’m speaking with?

REMEMBER

We often have to put our phone down in order to lift others up.
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Read Ignoring Instagram – Teen Tuesday on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Sweet Words in a Sour World

Have you ever found yourself backtracking after saying or posting a not-so-sweet comment? “It was a joke! I didn’t really mean she’s ugly. She’s just way too sensitive.”

Grace-filled Words

You’ve heard it said that, “You cannot give away what you do not possess.” And, the Bible tells us that the words that we give away should be seasoned with grace and acceptable in God’s sight (Colossians 4:6, Psalm 19:14). After learning of these commands from God, I considered that the best words I could give away would be His words. But, I’d have to know them before I could offer His truth to others.

Giving It A Go

At this time I fretted, “I can’t memorize Scripture! It’s too hard.” Then I visited a friend’s home whose pet parrot sang “The Star-Spangled Banner” in its entirety. As I stood there amazed, I thought, “Well, if a parrot can learn ‘The Star-Spangled Banner,’ I can learn to memorize Scripture!”

Each of us can develop a way of remembering significant verses from God’s Word. When we’ll do this, it’ll positively impact how we think and speak.

Going From Critical to Caring

You see, our actions and words reveal our attitude. Proverbs 23:7 says that what we think in our heart, we are. Critical thoughts not only go against God’s Word, but they create actions and produce words that are oftentimes mean and harmful. That’s why it’s important to train ourselves to think loving, positive thoughts when it comes to other people. And this can be done when we meditate on Scripture.

Proverbs 31 describes a woman who opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. We gain the wisdom and knowledge to be like this woman from God’s Word. Let’s choose to fill our mind most often with Scripture so that our speech is gracious and wise!

RESPOND

Dear Lord, help me purposefully fill my mind with knowledge from Your Word. I want my words to nurture others with grace and wisdom. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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 REFLECT

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)

Are my words nurturing and loving toward others? Am I thinking, speaking, and acting toward them as Christ would?

REMEMBER

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Prov. 16:24)
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Read Sweet Words in a Sour World on Elizabeth & Jim George.

Entertaining Thoughts of Divorce

For almost the first decade of our marriage, Jim and I were lost and confused—and miserable! We had little or no peace in our home. Arguments abounded. One thing led to another until we each were going our own way. Jim was consumed with his job. I was attending classes and obtaining a license in marriage and family counseling. (Can you hear me laughing? I think I hear you laughing!)

Entertaining Thoughts of Divorce

We each entertained thoughts of divorce. We were the proverbial flailing couple who was going down…and taking two young daughters with us. Why? Well, many reasons factored in, but a big one was that our love needed redirection. In the world of physics, matter is never lost—it simply changes its state. Love is like matter; it isn’t lost, it’s only redirected.

We see this with Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage in the Old Testament. Isaac’s love was directed full-on toward his wife Rebekah for the first 20 years of their marriage. But somehow it got redirected. After their twins Jacob and Esau arrived and the newness of having children wore off, their affections went from adoration…to adjusting to an expanded family…to choosing sides against one another.

Endangering Your Marriage

Children are a gift from God, but child-centered parenting endangers your marriage and family (as does being job-centered, parent-centered, hobby-centered). Isaac redirected his love onto his favorite son, Esau, while Rebekah showered her love on Jacob. Somewhere in the rough seas of marriage, this couple drifted apart.

This may be a tender topic for you. If your love has drifted … there is hope.

Engaging Your Spouse

Spend time in prayer, assessing upon whom or what you’ve redirected your love. Take a close look at your marriage and identify any potential threats that could cause division. Then, direct your love back toward your spouse. Your concern should be, “Is my love fully aimed at my husband/wife?”

Marriage is a work in progress. We can never think that our marriage has arrived, that we’ve reached the stage where bliss will reign without any effort on our part. But we can keep our marriage alive and vibrant–and away from the brink of divorce–when we direct our love toward and nurture oneness with our spouse. Make it a priority to find new ways to show your love.

RESPOND

Dear Lord, my heart’s desire is to communicate freely with my spouse and that there be no barriers between us. Guide us to keep our love directed toward one another. Amen.

RENEWING RESOURCES

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REFLECT

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 8:3)

On separate 3×5 cards, write out the area of biggest concern for yourselves as a couple.

Swap cards for a week
Carry your spouse’s care with you all week and pray daily over the contents.
In a week, share updates with each other.

REMEMBER

Children are a gift from God, but child-centered parenting endangers your marriage and family.
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Read Entertaining Thoughts of Divorce on Elizabeth & Jim George.