Emily M. DeArdo's Blog, page 3

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers and Godmothers!

Emily’s baptism, on May 9, 1982, was an extra special gift as it fell on Mother’s Day, which her parents were thrilled to celebrate for the first time.

Pictured: Baby Emily on her baptism day with her parents.

Even though Emily’s dream to become a mother was never realized, she delighted in being a Godmother and Aunt. As you can see in the following photos, she adored when she got to spend time with them and that poured over into her blog more times than we can count.

Pictured: Emily with her godchildren and nieces. From left to right: Ryan, Patty, Maddie, and Hailey

We want to leave you this post from Pope John Paul II to ponder this Mother’s Day.

“ When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” 27 And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home. ”  - John 19:26-27

Pick up a copy of Emily’s book, “Living Memento Mori”:
Amazon
Ave Marie Press
Seton Shrine

Welcome to the Family Jude!

Baby Jude wrapped in Aunt Emily and Aunt Sue’s baby blanket.

Emily’s nephew Jude entered the world last week!

When his mom Melanie called and said his birth weight was 7-13 (7 pounds 13 ounces), we realized  that this was the exact time that Em was taken up to Heaven (7:13pm) and was no coincidence.  Clearly Emily was at work at his birth!

The banner photo above is of Jude in the blanket that Emily had started for him (which was graciously finished by her Aunt Sue in St Louis) marked with a yellow heart.  It’s easy to tell that his older sister, Maddie (picture below), is already much taken with him. The family is doing well and adjusting to being a family of 4 now. It’s well known how much Em loved her nieces and godchildren (and babies in general),  and we are sure that she is enjoying watching over her first nephew.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’ ” - Matthew 18:1-3

Happy Birthday Emily!

Emily’s 1st birthday with her mom and dad (left), Emily’s last birthday 2023 (right)

Emily has said for the last 18 birthdays of her life that she knew were a gift from God because she wasn’t supposed to live past 23 because of her cystic fibrosis diagnosis. But instead of worrying about what birthday would be her last, she made her circumstance and journey into an inspiring testimony for so many others. She wrote and published books, did speaking engagements, and was ever present and active in her faith and church. She didn’t let her circumstances define her or succumb to fear of when her life in this earth would end - she lived like each day was her last.

In Emily’s book, Living Memento Mori, there is a section she wrote called “Headed to Heaven” (pg. xix-xx) in which she addresses the suffering faced in this life compared to the joys awaiting us.

As you remember Emily on this day, here are 2 verses that give us hope, not only in Emily’s new body and renewed mind, but for all who have repented and believe. The first is assurance of being with God after death and the second guarantees God’s plan and Jesus’s return!

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. - 2 Corinthians 5:8Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. - John 14:1-3Past Birthday Blog Posts

Here are birthday blog posts she wrote over the last few years and all you can do is smile when you feel the joy and thankfulness she had for her life.
2018
2021
2022
2023

Good Friday, Easter, and the "Upside Down Kingdom"

“Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Emily also wrote a beautiful post about her thoughts on Good Friday in 2016 that can be read here.

Think about what an “Upside Down Kingdom” Jesus presented by His life! Instead of coming to earth in full power and glory on a white horse with an army of angels in tow to take the world by force, He came as a vulnerable baby, born to a young mother who the world thought had stepped out on the man she was betrothed to and was born in a stable for livestock. He came not to show His power, but to show the world the heart the Father has for us through His life and ministry.

Then 33 years later, He knew His time had come to fulfill the words given to the prophets of old. He had just spent the evening showing His disciples what it meant to be a true servant leader (He washed their feet). He shared His last Passover meal with them even though He knew in a few hours one who betray Him into the hands of those who hated Him and most of the others would abandon Him. He spent hours praying in the Garden of Gethsemane for His Father’s will to be done, to the point of sweating blood, while His most trusted disciples couldn’t even stay awake to pray. He was betrayed with a kiss by one of His 12, had to heal a servant’s ear when Peter reacted too quickly, was lied about before and by the Sanhedrin, stared into the face of Peter when He was denied by him 3 times as He has predicted, had His skin shredded to pieces by a whip swung by eager Roman guards, was exchanged for the release of an insurrectionist murderer, was found guilty without justifiable reason, He was spat on and mocked, stripped of His clothing which was cast for lots, had a crown of thorns forced upon and pushed deep into His skull, carried a cross up a hill on His torn shoulders in complete exhaustion, had large nails driven into His wrists and feet in which He was hoisted into the air to tear more flesh to gain a breath, forgave a thief and welcomed him into paradise with Him, gave His mother to John to take care of, was pierced by a spear, given a sponge of gull and vinegar offered as His last drink (a mixture to dull His senses that He refused)…and still in His final moments He looked out into all the world and asked the Father to forgive them.

An Upside Down Kingdom indeed.

Emily was born on Good Friday in 1982 (April 9) and graduated to heaven right after Christmas in 2023. Last year, Emily did a special reading from Isaiah on her 40th spiritual birthday , which you can watch here (6:00 minute mark). Her beginning of life and death were opposite of when we celebrate the birth and crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ. It’s quite incredible in the way that He brought Emily into the world on such a day and brought her back to Him on the latter. As someone who was a writer and appreciated poetry herself, Emily might even find it poetic.

The beautiful and amazing thing about Good Friday, a Friday that should be named anything but “good” considering everything that occurred, is that Jesus saw Emily when He made the journey to the cross that day. He saw her sin and suffering, just as He saw yours and mine. He knew the suffering she would endure in her time walking this earth and He knew what you and I would face as well.

We all know that the story didn’t end on Good Friday! In God’s “Upside Down Kingdom”, the story doesn’t end at suffering and death, but with Resurrection. The gates of hell could not prevail and Jesus’s perfect sacrifice obtained the keys to our salvation and the curtain of the temple that physically and metaphorically symbolized our separation from God was torn in two! Praise to our Heavenly Father that also in His “Upside Down Kingdom” we can obtain His gift of Salvation through our faith and submission to Him and enter His presence. This is what Easter is all about.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. “- 1 Peter 1:3

Lent Week 6: The Blessing of Giving

Mother Teresa said: “if you do something, and I do something, then together, we will do something beautiful for God.”

Here are some global income statistics from in 2023 to consider:

The average global personal income is $9,733 per year.

The average global household income is $12,235 per year. (zippia.com)

The median per-capita household income is only $2,920 per year. (zippia.com)

Making over $100,000 puts you in the top 10% of global earners, while making over $1 million puts you in the top 1%. (zippia.com)

The minimum wage in Bangladesh is set to 1,500 Bangladeshi taka (BDT) or 14.62 USD a month. (skuad.com)

When we saw those number all we could say was WOW. Have you ever stopped to consider how truly blessed you are? Maybe you’re not a millionaire (or maybe you are), but we all have something or some way we can give to others. Whether it’s a donation to an honorable charity, sponsoring a child or family in need, volunteering of time to a food bank, helping an elderly person run errands, volunteering to help at church events or any number of God-honoring acts, the Lord will be pleased by your offering to Him. And have no doubt, our Father is faithful to provide for all His children and He loves when we have a giving heart.

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

Lent is the perfect season to consider making changes in your giving. Consider how your obedience to God in being a cheerful giver will have a ripple effect on the lives around you. It’s good to wisely budget your money, but Matthew 25:35-36 tells us the truth behind the heart and actions of giving. It’s in these acts that we bring a tiny glimpse the Kingdom of God down to earth here and now.

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ Matthew 25:35-36

May whatever you have planned to give to the Lord and to others be a holy and pleasing offering to the Lord. May He fill you with strength and his protection as you grow closer to Him.

Lent Week 5: The Heart of Prayer ❤️

“He (Jesus) also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: ‘Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax-collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax-collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.’” (Luke 18:9-14)

We’ve all read Jesus’s parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18, but we want you to read it this time from the perspective that you are the Pharisee. Now read it again with the perspective that you are the tax collector.

How did each perspective about prayer make you feel? What was going through your mind as you read from their viewpoint?

The 2nd Pillar of Lent we’re talking about is prayer. Why is prayer the easiest thing for some people to do and the hardest thing for others? Some people pray with a flow like it’s first nature to them and other have more “ums” and “uhs” than they have actual words in them. But you know what? The Father loves them all, whether eloquent or inarticulate. As you go through this 5th week of Lent, remember that any sincere prayer uttered from a soft heart is much better than a hardened heart that speaks none at all.

Emily wrote about different prayers that can are common during Lent and gives resources in this article.

What are your prayers like right now? Are they self-focused or focused on others? Maybe you could start a prayer journal to write out daily gratitudes to the Lord. Maybe you could keep a journal of prayer requests for yourself and others. Or maybe you could do both if you’re feeling ambitious, but start somewhere and let the Lord lead you in growing your prayer time with Him. He loves to be in communion with us.

May whatever you have planned to pray for or about be a holy and pleasing offering to the Lord. May He fill you with strength and his protection as you grow closer to Him.

Lent Week 4: The Mindset of Fasting

For the next 3 weeks, we wanted to dig a little deeper into the 3 Pillars of Lent: fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. We hope you enjoy past writings from Emily that are good reminders for these pillars, as well as enjoy the additional thoughts to ponder.

So let’s talk about fasting. The image above was chosen because we know Emily would appreciate the fine English aesthetic. :) Now, if were were honest with ourselves, it’s the least “enjoyable” of the pillars for most. It’s giving up our everyday life schedules we are so used to and comfortable with in exchange for going without. It’s an interruption. It’s a disconnect from the familiar. But honestly, it can be downright irritating when we don’t have the right heart and mindset about it!

Emily gave a list of reasons for fasting in this great post from Lent 2016 here.

Here is the summary of her 4 points on why we fast during Lent:

It’s in Scripture (Matthew 4:1-2. 17:17-20)

It’ll show us where we need discipline in your lives.

It will make us grateful for what we have and remember those without.

It will help us recognize our sins.

Take this week to dig into what fasting up until now has taught or shown you about yourself and your mindset. Remember, you’re fasting because you get to focus time on your relationship WITH God, not for making others believe you are so much more righteous than they are or making them sympathize for your sacrifices during fasting. Give thanks to God for this time you get to dedicate to Him!

Matthew 6:16-18 - “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”’

May whatever you have planned to fast be a holy and pleasing offering to the Lord. May He fill you with strength and his protection as you grow closer to Him.

Lent Week 3: Call Outs, Podcasts, and Book Lists

We hope Week 3 of Lent has gotten you to a place to recognize the things in your life that have been hindering your relationship with the Lord and you’re now working on how to create discipline in your life. It seems that sometimes we fast one thing and still allow other things to “fill in” that time we were intending to dedicate to the Lord. Don’t beat yourself up when this happens once, but don’t let it keep happening with excuses. Let’s all keep a dedicated mindset of discipline to honor God with our fasting, prayer, and willingness to give of ourselves to others (whether time, volunteering or by monetary means).

Callouts, Podcasts, and Book Lists

Emily really loved to root on her friends in their work and endeavors for the Lord’s Kingdom so this week we wanted to highlight some of them and other resources for Lent.

Image of Jennifer Fitz

First, a good friend of Emily’s, Jennifer Fitz, author of the book Lord, You Know I Love You!: A Discernment Retreat Using the Great Commandment. We believe her book will be a great tool in helping you develop better discernment in your life through helpful instruction and contemplative questions. Her blog can be found here.

Jennifer also did a wonderful write up of Emily’s book as well that can be found here.

Second, another amazing conversation Emily had with Katie Prejean McGrady for a Lent podcast miniseries from a few years ago (presented by Ave Marie Press).

Be sure to check out the other 7 episodes in the miniseries, because each author shares their unique perspectives on different Lenten topics.

Tribute image of Emily DeArdo from Ave Marie Press.

And lastly, Ave Marie sent out a wonderful email tribute to their subscribers about Emily (Image above is taken from that email) and we are so thankful for their partnership with her during the last few years in getting the word out about her book to others. We want to return the favor and let you know that they a wonderful Lent resource book list that we think would be helpful to you in this season.

Pick up a copy of Emily’s book:
Amazon
Ave Marie Press
Seton Shrine

Lent Week 2: Live Life Boldly

Bible Verse from 1 Peter 5:10 that says, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

We are a week into Lent, and we hope it’s been a meaningful time that has already begun to reveal Christ’s goodness and mercy in your life while you dedicate time to Him.

The following tribute, titled “A Life Lived Boldly”, was written by Emily’s friend Fr. Philip Humbert Kilanowski, O.P. We thank him for his willingness to share such a beautiful reflection of Emily’s life through his eyes in light of the Lent that is upon us. We hope that as you read, you’ll consider your own life and ask the Lord how you can deny yourself the tendency to make excuses while feeling self-pity for misfortunes and instead turn your difficulties into praise. Live life boldly!

She was born on Good Friday.  And it was snowing.  How’s that for an entrance?

Emily always lived her life close to the Cross—as if she was chosen for it.  Her sufferings read like a litany: periodic seizures as a young child, cystic fibrosis from age 11, multiple cases of tuberculosis, a rare virus that put her in a coma for two weeks during college, 16 bouts with pancreatitis, diabetes, a heart condition that required surgery—and I haven’t even mentioned the double lung transplant that, no doubt, extended her life, but also left her with permanent hearing loss and a scar the length of her right forearm.

And yet, once you met her, you never would have known that she suffered through any of this.  She never let any of this get the best of her, and remained as joyful and feisty as ever.  She could hold a conversation using just movie quotes and show tune lyrics.  She would fiercely debate all comers not only in religion or politics, but over who was the greatest hockey player of all time, or what constitutes an authentic Italian restaurant.  She would even casually downplay any trip to the emergency room, and called any overnight stay in the hospital a trip to “the Resort.”

So you may wonder, what made all of this possible?  How could she keep so cheerful and lively, and live her life so boldly, in the face of such great suffering?

Grace. Only the grace of God, the grace that comes to us through the Cross of Jesus Christ, by which we are saved, could enable Emily to have carried all her crosses with joy.  This grace is the free gift of God most high, and through the lens of grace, Emily could see that every day of her existence, as weak and fragile as it was, truly was a gift to be cherished and used well, because God Himself, in the Person of His Son, took on all the weakness and fragility of our human condition to save us from our sins and from death itself, coming into the world that we “may have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

And Emily certainly lived the life that she had to the fullest, never letting any setback keep her down.  So her weakened hearing prevented her from a singing career?  She lived out her passion for musical theater with a long string of chorus roles in community theater productions.  So she had to quit her job in the state government after missing too many days of work?  She retired early and started a second career as a free-lance writer.  So she wasn’t able to give her life to God in a monastery of cloistered Dominican nuns?  She joined the Dominican Third Order and lived as an exemplary lay member of the Order of Preachers: teaching the basics of the Catholic faith in the classroom, in her writing, and in conversations with her Protestant friends; preaching the truth of God’s grace with her witness on social media, at conferences, and on Jeopardy!; and making known the gift of God in the only book she published in her lifetime: an autobiography arranged, not in chronological order like most memoirs, not in dramatic order like a Christopher Nolan movie, but according to the Stations of the Cross—as only she could.  And so what if she was never married, and was unable to bear any children—something with which she struggled her entire life?  She showed her love and her intense loyalty to her family, to her godchildren, and to her friends—of whom I am blessed to call myself one.

And I remain forever indebted to her for driving me 100 miles to the Dominican novitiate in Cincinnati to begin my religious life and my path toward the priesthood, at a time when I could not trust anyone in my family to bring me there.  (We got a lot better!)  Emily herself was discerning a vocation to religious life at the same time, and we listened to Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony in the car on the way there to celebrate this new beginning.  My novice master, upon seeing her, proclaimed, “You had a woman bring you here?  That’s bold!”

We have remained good friends for nearly fourteen years, even if I had to miss her final promises as a Lay Dominican because I was the godfather at my oldest niece’s baptism, and she had to miss my ordination because she was a bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding.  Her prayers have certainly sustained me throughout my time as a Dominican friar, even as I bore my share of the Cross, and even as I administered the Sacraments to her—and no doubt they will continue, for as both St. Dominic and St. Thérèse of Lisieux have said before her, she will spend her Heaven doing good on Earth.

For one who, as the Psalmist said, was “wretched, close to death from [her] youth” (Ps. 88:16), Emily always sought “the things that are above” (Col. 3:1) and overcame the wretchedness of her condition with anticipation of the joy of eternal life.  She could tell that her time in this life was short, even more so lately.  She made her only overseas trip to one of her ancestral lands, Scotland, just this fall, and wrote a brilliant article on her experience with not only her transplant, but also with how God’s providence has worked in her life, this past year, that reads now like a last will and testament.  Even as she checked into the Resort one last time in the closing days of Advent, she faced it with her signature sense of humor.

And so the woman whom I once described as “a radiant soul trapped in a body held together with duct tape,” who was born on Good Friday, ended up dying at Christmas—but she had to wait until the seventh day, because that’s when it finally snowed.  How’s that for an exit?  Emily met her Maker on the same day on which the Church sings the Te Deum in thanksgiving to God for His benefits at the end of one period of time, and on which the orchestra in Tokyo always plays Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony to celebrate the end of the year and mark a new beginning.

And even in death, Emily carries out her vocation as a Lay Dominican, preaching and teaching the Truth who is Jesus Christ for the salvation of souls.  So what can we learn from her, especially now in this season of Lent?  What has she taught us?

First, do not be afraid of the Cross.  The world often says that all suffering is to be avoided, and that a life full of suffering is not worth living at all, but Emily has proven otherwise with the way that she lived her life and shown how God can work great good even through suffering, just as He wrought our salvation through the suffering and death of His Son.  Following her example, we too can offer the pain and misfortune of this world along with the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, for as the Lenten hymn says, “For only those who bear the Cross can hope to wear the glorious crown.”

Second, acknowledge your limitations—and then live your fullest life within them.  So often we hear of people trying to ignore their limits, or trying to be someone that they’re not, but while each of us is limited by our own bodies and minds, and our human nature, it is this same shared human nature that gives us our dignity and our capacity for the infinite God.  Emily demonstrated this with her ability to bounce back from setbacks and find a home, a place in the Church, and a task that she carried out with her writing to build up the Kingdom of God—and to enjoy life along the way.  We also can find how God would like to use the gifts that He has given each of us for the common good, and in doing so to live the most fulfilling life we can, by following the words of St. Catherine of Siena: “Be who you are, and you will set the world on fire!”

Third, and last, while many say to “live each day of your life as if it’s your last,” that kind of saying can often be twisted to encourage unreasonable pleasure-seeking.  Emily would rather say, “Live each day as it it’s the beginning of eternal life.”  For while she was born on Good Friday, she celebrated her last birthday on Easter Sunday, the first and only time in her lifetime that the dates coincided, as if it had to be that way.  She acknowledged all of her life after the transplant as borrowed time, and even compared the event to the Resurrection in her writing, but still acknowledged it as only a shadow of the glory to come, a glory into which, we pray (and for which I have seen signs), she has entered.  But we already have “a pledge of future glory,” in the words of St. Thomas Aquinas, here on Earth: with the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, to which Emily was so devoted, and as God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dwell within our souls by the grace of Baptism and the other Sacraments.  Truly, eternal life begins here and now, and Emily reflected that truth by radiating the light of Christ from within her.  We can do the same, showing the life of God to those we meet in this world, while keeping in mind that we are meant for a life after death, which is the only way that our lives can be fulfilled.  For in her own words, Emily tells us, “Remember you will die—and then get to living.”

So as we learn from Emily, and as we miss her, let us also pray for her—or if we are so bold, pray to her—that we all may be reunited by the grace of Jesus Christ, who, as we sing in the Te Deum, “overcame the sting of death, and opened the Kingdom of Heaven to all believers.”

Fr. Humbert Kilanowski, O.P. is a Dominican friar and priest who teaches mathematics at Providence College in Rhode Island.  He hails from Columbus and met Emily at a Lay Dominican meeting at St. Patrick's Church, the friars' parish in town, in Lent of 2010, and joined the Order that following summer.

Ash Wednesday 2024: Remembering Joy in Suffering

Hello everyone!

Knowing how much Emily loved Jesus and spent her time serving Him and spreading her faith, we couldn’t let Lent or the time leading up until the Holy Resurrection Easter celebration pass without doing something special. For this Ash Wednesday, we wanted to share some former content from Emily that we think will bring encouragement and the Lord can use to guide you.

First, we wanted to share archived videos from Emily of her book club commentary on each chapter of her book, Living Memento Mori. These would be great if you’re using her book for a book club or for your individual journey through as well. These are housed on Facebook, so please sign in to access them
(Click the image below).

Click the image to access Emily’s archived commentary videos for Living Memento Mori.

“A life that has suffering can still be a life of joy.”

Emily had a great conversation with Kyle Heimann in February 2020 in which she talked about some of the things she was going through and how her book was her life and not just a book. She wrote it with the hopes of it reaching others facing similar trials or needing some hope. Our quote from the interview was, “A life that has suffering can still be a life of joy.”, and we hope you all can take time to meditate on that with the Lord as we go into Lent.

Lastly, we plan to post more helpful content over the next 6 weeks of Lent up until Good Friday. There will be special messages from those who knew Emily, more videos, and content Emily shared previously. Please comment if you have anything specific you’d like to see touched on in the coming weeks.

May whatever you planned to fast be a holy and pleasing offering to the Lord. May He fill you with strength and his protection as you grow closer to Him.