Brian D. Stephens's Blog, page 2

Stages of the Spiritual Journey

There is a surface reality of separate objects and a deeper reality of oneness. The spiritual journey is the process of learning how to perceive the deeper truth and eventually become one with it. There are three major stages that you will pass through on the journey to oneness.

The Surface of Life

The vast majority of people on the planet have not begun the true spiritual journey. They are controlled by the ego, and their awareness is trapped on the surface of life.

Each of your thoughts, feelings, and actions creates karma. And your accumulated karma in turn forms a sense of individuality and separateness that is commonly called the ego.

The ego is a pretender that masquerades as your true identity. While identified with this false self you seem to exist only within the confines of the physical body. And every object in your external reality exists apart from you.

The ego is compelled by a never ending need for more. It is a bottomless pit of desires. You always want something, and once you get it your attention quickly turns to a new desire. The pursuit of selfish desires creates more karma that further strengthens the false sense of separateness.

The ego maintains control over your awareness through incessant thinking. You obsess about the past and worry about the future. Your attention moves from one banal thought to the next. While the mind is active you perceive only the surface reality of separate forms and not the deeper truth of oneness.

The ego filters reality through the thinking mind. To the ego the divine is an idea instead of a tangible reality that you can experience. The infinite universal consciousness is reduced to a mental construct that exists only within the confines of your mind.

If you are like most people, you will live out your entire life under the ego’s influence. You will find no relief from the pursuit of selfish desires and incessant thinking.

When you finally shed the mortal coil and leave this veil of tears you will receive a short respite on the energetic planes; the place that Christians call heaven. Then your remaining physical karma compels you to incarnate into a new physical body. On and on this goes in an endless cycle that Hindus call the wheel of samsara.

Beginning the Spiritual Journey

Once grace intercedes and you have a conscious glimpse of the deeper reality, your spiritual journey begins.

The spiritual path is the process of dissolving the karma accumulated in all your past incarnations. As your karma lessens so does the ego’s influence. When all of your karma is gone, the sense of separateness falls away.

The divine is found beyond the limitations of thought and the ego-controlled mind. By learning how to still the mind you can break free of ego’s control and touch the underlying Source of life.

While connected with Source you gradually dissolve your accumulated karma. The more often your attention in on the deeper reality, and not trapped in the thinking mind, the faster you progress spiritually.

The karma accumulated in your prior incarnations is enormous. To make real progress in dissolving it requires the intervention of an enlightened master. By developing an internal connection with such a person grace flows to you, and your past conditioning is removed much more rapidly.

In the beginning stages of the spiritual path, you connect with Source infrequently and for short periods. The ego is still very strong. It easily pulls your attention onto a thought or desire. Through discipline and an effective spiritual practice, you gradually learn how to keep your attention on the deeper reality.

Intermediary Stage of the Spiritual Journey

As your spiritual practice matures you are able to connect more deeply with Source while meditating. And you develop the habit of turning your attention to the divine throughout the day.

As your karma dissolves, your energetic sensitivity increases. And you become aware of the ever more subtle levels of awareness.

At this intermediary stage of the spiritual path you perceive the deeper reality as something that exists apart from you. Your sense of identity is still confined within the borders of the physical body, and outside of you is the divine.

Advanced Stage of the Spiritual Journey

After a great deal of your karma has dissolved, usually over a span of many lifetimes, you reach an advanced stage of the path. The ego has weakened to the point that the veil between you and the divine is thin.

While meditating there are brief periods in which the veil temporarily disappears, and you experience Source as existing both within and without. Your sense of an individual self falls away, and there is only the one universal consciousness. Hindus refer to this state as savakalpa Samadhi.

Once the temporary experience of oneness is over, you return to the world of duality. And once again you perceive the divine as existing apart from you.

Liberation

Every life form is a manifestation of the one universal consciousness. We exist so that the divine can have every conceivable experience through our physical forms, including going through the spiritual journey.

When the divine is ready, grace once again intercedes. Your remaining karma dissolves, and you attain liberation. The illusion of separateness falls away for good, and you always experience the state of unity.

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Three Spiritual Paths: Light, Stillness, Love

The divine is present throughout creation. It is the formless intelligence that guides and sustains creation, what science now calls the quantum field. And from it arises all the countless forms on the physical, energetic, and mental planes of reality.

Enlightened teachers have different names for the divine such as the Paramatman or the Self. And they describe the divine in various ways such as light, stillness, and love.

Before embarking on the spiritual path a person is trapped in a false sense of separateness from the divine. And through the spiritual journey the illusion of separateness gradually falls away. There are many ways of approaching the divine. And for years I’ve been conflicted about which path to take.

Light

As a young boy, I once saw the Paramatman light falling to the earth at the base of a tree. Then I forgot about the experience. And it wasn’t until I received many darshans from Mother Meera that I learned how to consciously see the light.

By focusing on light, I connect with the deeper reality. It would seem that aligning with the Paramatman light is my spiritual path.

Stillness

While reading enlightened teachings such as God Speaks, Guru Vachaka Kovai, or The Upanishads my awareness turns inward. And the mind stills like a calm, windless lake.

Ramana Maharshi taught the spiritual practice of self-enquiry. While practicing self-enquiry my system gradually aligns with the Self. The vibrations in the energetic body and the thoughts in the mind subside. Maharshi and his devotees who attained liberation are manifestations of stillness. If I am to awaken as those before me, surely I should focus on the stillness of the Self.

Love

In the duality of creation love draws us closer to the divine, and fear keeps us trapped in a false sense of separateness. While focusing on avatars such as Jesus and Meher Baba the heart opens, and I am immersed in their divine love. Is there any better experience in life? Surely mine is the path of love and devotion to the divine.

A Unique Path

Each person’s spiritual path is unique. So what is my path? Should I focus on the Paramatman light, or the stillness of the Self, or should I express love and devotion to the divine? Only time will tell.

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Reading the Upanishads

A profound breakthrough occurred today. After all these years on the spiritual path, I’m finally reading the Upanishads.

Sri Aurobindo’s Books

For a week, I’ve been reading A Practical Guide to Integral Yoga. It contains highlights from Sri Aurobindo’s various writings and organizes them by subject. Yesterday I arose from an afternoon nap with a sudden desire to find out which of Sri Aurobindo’s books I should read next.

After a short search online, I found the Sri Aurobindo ashram website that contains all of his original writings. I read through the beginning of each book and was drawn to two of them: Essays on the Gita and The Upanishads. I already have both books in paperback version. Yet for some reason I’ve never read them.

Most people will find Sri Aurobindo’s writings intimidating. He addresses profound, complex spiritual subjects. His sentences are often 50 words long. And his books can be more than 500 pages long. Yet I’m undaunted. I look forward to reading about the Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads. After all these years of sitting on the shelf, they now seem to be calling to me.

Fixating on the Upanishads

Today I awoke fixated on the Upanishads. I wanted to learn more about how they came into existence. And I wanted to find the best translation of the Upanishads to read first.

When exploring a new area of spirituality, I find it invaluable to read books written by enlightened teachers. They are one with the infinite. And their enlightened presence infuses the words that they write.

Most seekers make the mistake of reading spiritual books only for the ideas they contain. Yet you progress spiritually by moving your awareness beyond the limitations of the ego and the thinking mind. Concepts can only point to an experience that the mind cannot understand.

By reading the words of an enlightened teacher your system is exposed to his enlightened presence. And eventually you learn how to attune to that higher state on your own, even when you are not reading an enlightened teaching.

As I have advanced along the path, I’ve become more sensitive to various forms of energy. The infinitely subtle energy found within an enlightened teaching is pleasurable. And it is difficult to get through books written or translated by people who are not spiritually advanced. The words are tainted by the author’s remaining karma, and they vibrate at a lower level. So I decided to only read translations of the Upanishads that contain an enlightened presence.

Sri Aurobindo was a liberated soul. Yet his writing style is complex. Perhaps there is a simpler translation of the Upandishads I can read first, before diving into Aurobindo’s book.

There are many translations of the Upanishads. Many of the authors refer to the translation and commentary written by Adi Shankara in the eighth century. He was an Indian philosopher and writer who founded Advaita Vedanta. I found a five-volume translation of Shankara’s writings on Internet Archive. The books contain a great deal of information. Yet the writing is complex, and the translators are not enlightened. The original Sanskrit written by Shankara is probably infused with his enlightened presence. Yet that was lost in the translation to English. So I continued the search.

Many people who read the Upanishads recommend the translation by Swami Prabhavananda. I found it on Internet Archive and began reading the first Upanishad in the book—the Isha Upanishad. After a few moments my mind stilled, and I was deeply immersed in the formless.

It has been a while since my mind has become so still. The last time occurred while reading Guru Vachaka Kovai, and I couldn’t speak for many hours. While writing these words I reflect back on the experience, and I am there again as if I never left.

I don’t know much about Prabhavananda. Yet it is evident he achieved a high spiritual state as his translation manages to keep the enlightened presence found in the original teaching.

I emailed Prabhavanda’s translation of the Upanishads to Wayne and Karen. Then I called Karen to tell her about the book. While dialing, I wondered if I would be able to speak when she answered the phone. I could, so I told her what had happened. While we were on the phone she began reading the book. And I noticed that her mind and energetic state became still.

Through grace spiritual obstacles have been removed, and I have been guided to the Upanishads. I will read the translation by Prabhavananda. And then I’ll read Aurobindo’s translation and commentary. I wonder what other spiritual experiences await.

O thou self-luminous Brahman remove the veil of ignorance from before me, that I may behold thy light.—Aitareya Upanishad, translation by Swami Prabhavananda

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The Love of Jesus Christ

The Christian spiritual path is beautiful. Through the love of Jesus Christ we are uplifted and draw closer to God.

The Fragility of Spiritual Beliefs

I am a Christian. I was baptized as a Catholic and raised in a Baptist Church. While growing up, Jesus and God seemed distant and inaccessible. At one point in my life, when my health was poor, I wondered whether God existed at all.

When something in your life does not go according to your expectations, you may wonder why God allowed it to happen. Your ideas about God, as kind and merciful, are not aligning with your circumstances. And you may begin to question the existence of God.

Many Christians have moments when their faith is tested. Why is that? If you are a Christian you might say that it is the dark side trying to lead us away from Jesus. Certainly that can happen. Yet perhaps there is also something missing in the way we worship the divine.

Beyond Your Beliefs and the Thinking Mind

We are conditioned since childhood into a commonly accepted Christian belief system. We are taught that our faith—our beliefs about Jesus—lead to eternal salvation. Faith becomes the goal of our Christian spiritual path. Yet there is more to being a Christian than the beliefs we hold about Jesus and God.

Beliefs are nothing more than ideas that exist only in the mind. What we are rarely taught in church is that the true spiritual path lies beyond the limitations of the thinking mind.

Most people interpret reality through the filter of the mind. They create a conceptual understanding of the world based on their cultural upbringing and life experiences. And like everything else in their life, God becomes an idea.

They are always thinking about something. Only occasionally do they have moments in which their thoughts subside and they have a fleeting glimpse of what lies beyond the conceptual mind.

Perhaps in your own life there have been moments of “no mind.” They stand out as extraordinary. You may have been watching the sunset or looking into the eyes of a loved one, and for a brief period you experienced the world directly without your thoughts getting in the way.

You may have occasions in church, or in prayer, or while reading the Bible when you experience something more real than an idea. Something inside you affirms that God exists. You know it because you experience it directly. What those events have in common is that your thoughts temporarily subsided.

Yet the moments of no mind are usually fleeting. The mind turns back on and your attention is once again absorbed in an endless stream of thoughts.

Learning How to Experience the Deeper Truth

God is infinite. It is not limited by anything including the ideas we have about it. What most people call the truth is only an idea that exists in the mind. The deeper truth is not something that can be understood conceptually. Instead it is experienced directly beyond the limitations of the mind.

For many Christians their beliefs about Jesus, God, and the spiritual path keep them trapped in the mind. They do not recognize a difference between God and the beliefs about God. They are not taught how to go beyond the mind and experience the divine directly.

Yet it is the ability to become free of the thinking mind that is the true spiritual path. And it is a skill that can be learned. You don’t have to wait for it to just happen.

Once you learn how to consciously quiet your thoughts and experience the divine—the deeper truth—you are changed forever. God is no longer just an idea. It is a tangible reality. Your beliefs are no longer the totality of your spiritual path. You have freed yourself from the rigid dogma and group thinking that keeps so many Christians from progressing spiritually.

Your beliefs become more than just ideas about God created by others. They are useful pointers to the truth. You go beyond the mind to touch the deeper truth, and then you describe what you have experienced in terms of ideas. In this way your beliefs expand to incorporate what you know to be true through direct experience.

There are many ways to consciously still the mind and touch the divine. For instance, some people are drawn to meditation. After sitting quietly for twenty minutes the mind gradually subsides. Others learn how to focus on the present moment. When not reflecting upon the past or worrying about the future, the mind becomes still. As Christians we can experience the divine through the love of Jesus Christ.

The Spiritual Path of Opening the Heart

Our relationship with Jesus begins with our Christian beliefs. We are taught that Jesus was an incarnation of the divine. And through Jesus we can know God.

Jesus is the embodiment of God’s love and mercy. Turn your attention to Jesus at every opportunity. Pray and ask him to draw closer to you. Eventually you will feel his love in your heart.

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. – Jesus, Holy Bible, John 14:14

The internal relationship with Jesus that you feel through the heart is the true Christian spiritual path. It begins with belief and then takes you beyond the limitations of the mind. When the heart is open the mind is still, and you experience the divine directly.

The Closeness of God

Love draws us closer to the divine. And fear, the opposite of love, keeps us trapped in a false sense of separateness from the divine.

Most people go through life with a closed heart. They are only able to express love toward a family member or pet. A closed heart causes God to seem distant and apart from us.

Opening the heart is an important stage in any person’s spiritual development. As the grace of Jesus descends upon you, the heart gradually opens. And you discover the closeness of God.

Loving Others

When the heart is open, you feel the unconditional love that Jesus expresses toward everyone and all life forms. The love of Jesus teaches you how to fully love God and your fellow human beings.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. – Jesus, Holy Bible, John 14:14

Connecting with Jesus Now

Many Christians have the misperception that they will encounter Jesus only after the physical body dies and they are freed from this veil of tears. Let go of this limiting belief.

You can experience Jesus now, in this moment. You may not see him with your physical eyes. Yet you can connect with him internally.

Turn your attention to Jesus at every opportunity. Pray for his grace and guidance. And you will eventually find him within your own heart.

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Darshan with Mother Meera – the Love and the Light

Mother Meera is giving darshan today and tomorrow in Germany. With the time difference the darshans happened in the early morning hours on the west coast of North America.

How fortunate we all are to have the opportunity to receive Meera’s grace. Tapas and good karma have given us the ability to recognize her as an awakened soul. Simply by turning your attention to her you can receive her light and love.

I have awakened after 4 am while she is giving her second darshan. So I light a candle near her picture and focus on her image while meditating. After only a minute of meditating, I can feel her love. It is so strong that I feel as though I’m in her psychical presence. The heart opens so much that a few tears appear in my eyes.

Meditating in the hours before sunset is always easier. The veil between the physical and higher planes is thinner, and it is easier to access the deeper reality.

During the day, I often focus on the Paramatman light. I learned to perceive it by attending Meera’s darshans in the United States and Canada. Attuning to the light allows me to connect with the deeper reality and still the mind.

Paramatman is the universal conscious that permeates and sustains reality. So it exists on all three planes of reality: physical, energetic, and mental. I believe that when a person sees the Paramatman light they are seeing its energetic form. Of course seeing the light is not the end goal. It is just an indication that your system has learned how to the Paramatman.

If you have been to Meera’s darshans and have yet to see the light, try to attend more darshans. And eventually you will learn to see the light. I know other people who have learned to see the light such as my brother, my mother, and a Vietnam veteran who at our office. Meera’s light and love is a blessing, so take advantage of it.

I will finish writing now and return to bed, immersed in Meera’s grace. Often I will sleep through her darshans. It is a restful sleep. Yet it feels as though I have missed a chance to connect with the divine—a lost opportunity.

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Perceiving the Energetic Plane of Reality

According to many enlightened teachers there are three planes of reality: mental, energetic, and physical. The mental plane is composed of ideas. The energetic plane is composed of energetic forms. And the physical plane is composed of physical forms.

In his book God Speaks, Meher Baba explains that everything in our physical world comes into being first as an idea of the infinite intelligence. The ideas give rise to energetic forms that then become the basis of physical forms.

The vast majority of people on the planet perceive only the physical plane of reality. And according to Meher Baba, the spiritual journey begins when a person learns to perceive the energetic plane of reality.

The ability to access the energetic plane can happen in two ways. You can feel energetic forms through your energetic body. And you might even see energetic forms with your physical eyes.

Most seekers have occasional visions of the energetic planes. And some seekers are always able to see various energetic forms. If a seeker is being guided along the path by an enlightened master, he may be veiled from seeing energetic forms. Because it is easy for a seeker to get lost in the energetic planes, forget to focus on the deeper reality, and become delayed in his spiritual progress.

Each object on the physical plane has a corresponding energetic form on the energetic plane. I can feel the energetic form of the physical forms I see. And I can perceive the various universal energies, from the infinitely subtle Paramatman light to the coarse vibrations of the lower planes. But I rarely see energetic forms with my physical eyes.

If you begin to feel or see various energetic forms, do not allow yourself to become distracted by them. Keep your attention on the deeper reality. And do not allow the ego to use your abilities as a way of strengthening itself. The ego will attempt to claim everything for its own, including your own spiritual abilities. Remember that you will make true spiritual progress through the gradual dissolution of the ego. And only when the ego is destroyed does the false sense of separateness disappear leading to liberation.

Each seeker’s path is unique. Yet the seekers that take the quickest path to liberation are guided by an enlightened master that keeps them on the straight and narrow.

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Ramana Maharshi and the Stillness of the Self

For the last week, I have noticed a different feeling when walking on the beach at sunset and connecting with the deeper reality. It is a sublime stillness in the energetic body and the mind. Until recently the source of this feeling was a mystery.

For several weeks, I’ve been reading Papaji’s three-volume biography Nothing Ever Happened by David Godman. And I’ve also been reading Ramana Maharshi’s book Who Am I? It is a short book that summarizes Ramana’s spiritual teachings. When I finish the book, I simply start back at the beginning and read it again.

Both Papaji and Ramana Maharshi emphasize the spiritual practice of keeping your attention on the source of the “I” thought—the Self that is your true nature. So lately I have been continuously bringing my attention back to the Self that is found within.

After reading Who Am I? so many times it is apparent that my spiritual practice has been deficient. I have too often allowed the mind to focus on objects in the world instead of the formless reality, the Self.

Yesterday I looked at the book cover that has a picture of Ramana Maharshi. And I sensed the same stillness that I am feeling at the ocean of late. It seems that reading Ramana’s book each day has attuned my system to his enlightened presence.

My two favorite enlightened teachings are God Speaks by Meher Baba and Guru Vachaka Kovai by Muruganar. Because I receive a  powerful transmission of grace from reading them.

Muruganar was an enlightened devotee of Ramana Maharshi. Muruganar recorded Ramana’s teachings in short verses, and then Ramana edited the verses. While reading Guru Vachaka Kovai my attention is drawn deeply within at times, so much so that I am unable to speak for hours at a time.

While reading Guru Vachaka Kovai, I became accustomed to perceiving Ramana’s enlightened presence as a deep, powerful stillness. The feeling I receive from reading Who Am I? is different. It is a lighter stillness that is similar to the enlightened presence of Krishna that I feel when looking at his image.

The grace of Ramana Maharshi is present in all of his teachings. By reading them you will attune to his enlightened presence and be drawn into the deeper reality.

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The Silver Ball of Water

I just returned from the beach. I needed that. It has been a challenging day. And meditating at the ocean allows me to reconnect with the deeper reality

The sun is setting late this time of year. I have made a habit of working till around 7 pm and then going to the ocean to watch the sunset.

I am still dehydrated from yoga class last night. So I didn’t feel like jogging. I walked south along the boardwalk for a mile and a half. It is packed with people enjoying the warm weather on the weekend.

It took more effort than normal to get into the walking meditation. I turned my attention to Meher Baba and tried to perceive him as the universal consciousness within everything. The heart opened and I could feel his love and grace. Then I focused on the source of the “I” thought and felt myself come into alignment with the Self. Meher Baba’s grace and the Self combine in a unique way that is a wonderful place to be.

After watching the sunset, I decided to jog for a while. The exercise woke me up and helped to heighten my awareness. After about a mile, I decided to walk the rest of the way.

Walking back to the car is my favorite part of going to the ocean. When the sun sets the universal energy shifts from yang to yin. And because I have been at the ocean for a while my system is still and balanced. And so the walking meditation is deeper.

I found myself focusing on the ocean waves. The boardwalk is elevated high enough to see the curvature of the earth. The remaining light from the sun and the clouds in the sky made the ocean look silver in color.

Suddenly I remembered the vision that occurred yesterday morning. Meera is in India this week. I woke up earlier than normal, in time to meditate during her daily darshan. While lying in bed, I rested in a state between being awake and asleep. An image appeared in my awareness that I have never seen before. It was a silver ball made of water. The water flowed down the ball in ripples that looked like tiny waves. The image was so real that I tried to open my eyes in order to get a better look at it. But when my eyes opened the image vanished.

After returning to the waking state, I didn’t know what the vision represents. My guardian angels occasionally show me things as a way of keeping my spirits raised. Yet until this evening, I didn’t know what the image represented.

It seems that I am being directed to continue my nightly visits to the ocean. I look forward to it.

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The Stages of Japa by Papaji

Japa is a spiritual practice in which a seeker repeats a mantra. The repetition of the right mantra gradually dissolves your past conditioning and weakens the ego.

Papaji is a modern enlightened master who lived in the twentieth century. He practiced devotional japa to Krishna for twenty-five years. His japa practice dissolved his ego, what he called the sense of “I.” Yet it wasn’t until he met Ramana Maharshi that he attained liberation.

The book Nothing Ever Happened is a biography of Papaji’s life. In it Papaji’s describes the stages that a seeker goes through when practicing japa. It is the best explanation of japa that I have found from any enlightened teacher.

According to Papaji, it is necessary to have an aspect of devotion to God or an enlightened master in order to empower the mantra. A mechanical repetition of a mantra is not useful.

In the beginning you repeat a mantra using the voice. In the second stage you repeat the mantra in the mind without saying it out loud.

During the third stage you learn to synchronize the mantra with the breath. And eventually the mantra and the breath become one. The mantra is repeated automatically, without your conscious attention. It takes place when you are awake and when you are dreaming.

In the last stage you become aware that the mantra is arising from the Heart—the formless unity from which the “I” arises. And the sound of the mantra subsides into the silence of the formless.

In the biography, Papaji gives several examples of saints (such as Gandhi) who repeated the name “Ram” as their japa. And the spiritual progress they made seems to indicate that repeating a name of God is a useful practice. Yet Papaji does not recommend japa as a spiritual practice.

Papaji had a unique teaching style. He told seekers to keep quiet and not do anything. You should not have any kind of spiritual practice. And you should reject any thoughts that arise in the mind. Any activities or thoughts keep you focused on objects and distracted from the Heart.

Papaji claimed that a seeker could not attain liberation through any kind of effort. The only way is through the grace of an enlightened master. Only in his presence can your sense of “I” be pulled into the Heart, never to rise again.

Papaji believes that he could have attained liberation at a much earlier age, and avoided the twenty-five years of japa, if he had once asked himself, “Who Am I?” This is the question that a seeker asks as part of self-enquiry, the spiritual practice taught by Ramana Maharshi.

My Take on Japa

The spiritual journey takes place across multiple lifetimes. Each person incarnates at a different stage of their spiritual development.

Papaji was a spiritually-advanced soul who was going into samadhi in prior incarnations. He was born being very close to the goal of liberation.

Most other people are not so fortunate. They still carry vast amounts of accumulated karma which causes thoughts and desires to arise in the mind.  It is not a simple thing for them to be quiet and not doing anything, as recommended by Papaji.

My feeling is that effort is required for a certain portion of the spiritual journey. A seeker has to find a way to train the mind so it is not distracted by incessant thinking and can instead focus on the formless unity. Japa, as well as other practices such as meditation and self-enquiry, seem useful in connecting with the formless and dissolving vast amounts of accumulated karma.

If you are in the presence of an enlightened person it is much easier to simply be quiet. Such a person radiates an enlightened presence that affects the people he is around. When you leave the company of a liberated soul you are no longer immersed his enlightened presence. And you have to find some way of turning your attention to the formless.

I have tried japa in the past and did not feel inclined to use it as a spiritual practice. And I have no idea why. Each person’s path is unique. My main spiritual practices includes focusing on the Paramatman light, devotion to certain enlightened teachers, and reading enlightened teachings as a form of meditation.

While reading Papaji’s biography I decided to try japa again by repeating the name “Ram.” The results were unexpected. When the name Ram appears in the mind my attention is quickly drawn inward—I can feel the “I” descending into the Heart. I am only able to mentally repeat the name one or two times. And then my awareness is so deep that I can no longer create any words, including Ram, in the mind.

Unfortunately, the state is only temporary. Within a short while, my attention becomes absorbed in some object and thoughts begin appearing once again in the mind.

I have tried using other words in a mantra such as: Om, Meher, Krishna, or Jesus. And the results are the same.

The ability to quickly draw my attention inward is a spiritual breakthrough. Perhaps reading Papaji’s biography, which contains interviews with him and many of his letters, has allowed some of his grace to flow to me. And perhaps the encounter with the angel earlier this month also contributed to my current state.

Papaji’s spiritual story may provide a hint as to why I’m unable to repeat a mantra more than a few times. Near the end of his spiritual journey Papaji had a vision of Rama, Sita, Hanuman, and Lakshman. Afterward he was no longer able to repeat the name of Krishna. He visited Ramana Maharshi who told him that the mantra had served its purpose and what so no longer needed. At which point Papaji’s “I” receded into the Heart permanently and he attained liberation.

I don’t yet understand this breakthrough. It is probably just a step forward on the long journey to liberation that we all must travel. If I’m fortunate then the end of the journey is near, but that is too much to hope for. It is wise not to get carried away with delusions of grandeur, as so many seekers tend to do.

Papaji said that only an enlightened master can grant liberation. And he also said that some enlightened teachers have the power to help others to awaken and some do not. I may need to find one that has the authority to push my “I” into the Heart with such a force that it never arises again.

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The Enlightened Presence of Papaji and Krishna

I’m reading the three-volume biography of Papaji written by David Godman. It contains interviews with Papaji and letters he wrote to devotees. Reading Papaji’s biography so often over the last few weeks has exposed me to his enlightened presence.

By progressing along the spiritual path, I learned to perceive subtle variations of energy. When connecting internally with various enlightened teachers I noticed that each has their own energy, for lack of a better word. Each is enlightened, yet the light of Source is projected through their form in a unique way.

I seem to have a unique relationship with each enlightened teacher that is based on my internal connection with them. And the stronger the connection the more grace I am able to receive.

For instance, my connection with Jesus is strong due to past sadhana in this and other lifetimes. While focusing on him, I feel a profound sense of love. Yet while connected with Krishna, I perceive a still and infinitely subtle energy.

For the last few days, I have practiced self-enquiry throughout the day and especially during my walks along the beach. When placing my attention on the source of the ego I clearly perceive Papaji’s enlightened presence. It is as if Papaji is the Self.

Tonight I realized that Papaji’s enlightened presence is very similar to that of Krishna. Perhaps it is only a coincidence. Or perhaps it is a result of Papaji attuning himself so closely with Krishna.

Papaji was a Krishna bhakti. It was his main spiritual path before meeting Ramana Maharshi and attaining liberation. In the biography of Papaji a devotee recounts seeing Krishna’s blue sudarshan chakra while in Papaji’s presence. Apparently Krishna used the sudarshan chakra as a weapon in the Mahabharatha, an ancient Indian story.

I am grateful for Papaji’s grace. And I am grateful for the spiritual practice of self-enquiry that was originally taught by Ramana Maharshi.

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