Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "interviews"
My 19.5 Worst Interviews
My first Electrical Engineering job interview occurred in 1993, and I have mostly worked full-time ever since. I thought it would be interesting (therapy replacement) to write up my five worst job interviews. Turns out… This adventure ballooned to 19.5 fun-filled trips down painful memory lane. Yeah… Lots of therapy.
The whole point of an interview is to see if the candidate is a good fit for the job. This process seems straightforward, but interviewers get wrapped up in side tangents, politics, and ulterior agendas. Interviewers sometimes (always) forget that the process is a two-way street, and the candidate is looking to see if the company is a good place to work. The following is an examination of what can go wrong.
1) About five years ago, I interviewed at Clear Com, who makes intercoms for the entertainment industry. The interview started well with friendly chit-chat. While speaking, I noticed a “company move schedule” on the whiteboard. “Is the company moving?” “Yes, we are moving the entire operation to Orange County. (A 90-minute drive on a good day. The topic of Orange County will appear a few times in this article.) The details are on our website.” “And you did not think to include this information in the job description?” My interview lasted five minutes. Later, I searched their website and did not find a single mention of the move. What a waste of time.
2) Eight years ago, I interviewed with a division of General Atomics, and I recall the position had something to do with communications. I entered the conference room, saw ten people, and everybody introduced themselves. It was exciting, and I looked forward to a new job.
Right out of the gate, the head person said the job was not with them, and I would be subcontracted to SPAWAR (a government design bureau) instead. I heard awful stories about SPAWAR and was reluctant to work there. Then, the bombshell. My office would be onsite in a room built in the ‘40s that had asbestos. I asked, “Why didn’t you put this in the job description?” “We tried that and did not get any candidates.” “Umm, this is a non-starter.” My interview lasted ten minutes, and I left angry. Incidentally, the other people in the room were also upset, and one even tore up my resume. How rude!
3) I graduated from college in 1993, and my first interview was with a big company I no longer remember. The economy was in a slump then, and the government stopped several military contracts because the Cold War was over. Getting an interview was tough, and I was happy to be there. Yay! I arrived in a suit my grandmother purchased as a high school graduation present and was led to a conference room with four others. They were 15 to 25 years older than me. We were all interviewing for the same job! What???
There were no introductions, and the interviewer began asking questions, which each of us individually answered. They were a mix of job experience and technical. I quickly answered the first two, and they asked, “Do you know what a BOM is?” I shrugged and answered, “Umm, the thing that a plane drops.” The assembled people chuckled, and another candidate responded smugly, “BOM stands for Bill Of Materials.” “Oh, you mean a parts list. I know what a parts list is and have created several. No big deal.” The interviewer looked disappointed, and I knew I would not get the job.
In hindsight, I should have flipped them off and stormed out. I was still a young punk at the time, and this would not have been out of character. This was my first rejection letter, and the incident took away confidence that took months to rebuild.
4) Around 2000, I interviewed at a small company that made underwater modems. Think of this as Wi-Fi with sound. They were a tiny place, and the “office guy” had me fill out a job application when I arrived. Then, he had me take an engineering test at a desk in the CAD department.
As I slogged through the poorly designed test, I could tell the CAD designer at the next desk was not in a great mood. When I looked at what she was doing, I saw her using AutoCAD PCB (Printed Circuit Board). I can say for sure this deplorable pile of (swear words) is the worst piece of software ever made. Engineers and CAD technicians universally hated it, and AutoCAD dropped the entire product line a year after its introduction. I asked the woman if she was indeed using AutoCAD PCB, and she confirmed my suspicion and how miserable it was. Then we had a great chat about the company. This conversation convinced me that the place was not a good fit for me or any human being.
I went back to the “office guy” and demanded my application back. He gave it to me without even asking why. I left feeling relieved. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later. Do I believe AutoCAD PCB was a big part of why they are no longer around? 100%
5) Around 2010, I interviewed with a company that made single-board computers. These are used in industrial applications, and Maxwell Technologies later purchased the company. I think they phased out that division.
The interviewer began with technical questions, which turned into me solving problems. I flew through the process but sensed a problem. The interviewer was getting more and more despondent. Finally, the guy said with a hint of anger, “We are looking for a more senior person.” “Well, you saw my resume. I have been working for years. What more do you need?” “We are looking for a person with more experience.” This attitude ticked me off, and I asked, “Well then, why did you interview me?” The guy fidgeted and answered, “You looked good on paper.” “But I answered every one of your questions.” “Umm.” “Clearly, I’m a good fit.” “Umm.” I left angry.
6) Two days later (it was an insane week), I interviewed with a company that made radio nodes (long-distance Wi-Fi). The interview started strange, with the head of engineering failing to describe their product and what their customers used it for. Then he got off on a side tangent about riverboats. He told me my job would be to add Voice Over IP (a telephone interface). This was a technical buzzword, and I said, “Oh, they make an integrated circuit that does this. It should take me about a week.” “I looked everywhere, and no company makes one!” (That evening, I did a two-minute search and found four companies that made them.) I realized I had made a mistake and apologized to save the interview. Then the guy started asking technical questions, cutting me off in mid-sentence with new questions. This was not pleasant, but I answered every one.
I interviewed with five more people, and they were all bored out of their minds. After the interview, my headhunter, Jim Montana, told me I did not get the job. He told me the first guy had a mini-meeting with the following people and said he did not want to hire me. I asked, “Then why did they waste my time?” “I don’t know.” “Well, do not send them any more candidates until they learn how to interview.” He called the company the next day and argued with HR. This conversation convinced him to stop sending them candidates. A year later, they were out of business.
Fun side story: there is an alternative porn star named Jim Montana.
In retrospect, both these companies had the same issue. Smug jerks punish smart kids so they can act like the kings of their castles. I had an idiot/chauvinist boss at SAIC who was in the same boat. His only function was to prove to his team that he had at least one brain cell. What a miserable place to work. The entire division was folded by upper SAIC management, but… They kept two people. I guess being a jerk has its rewards. The other person was the textbook definition of a micromanager.
7) I learned a hard lesson during my third interview. It was 1994, and the only way to find a job (unless you had an inside contact) was to look in the newspaper classifieds. So, when I saw “wanted, electrical engineer,” I called the number and got an interview. But it was at the Marriot hotel… Apparently, engineering companies work out of hotels. Whatever, I needed a job. After paying to park my car, I went to the front desk. They made calls, and an attendant escorted me to the basement.
The interview started uncomfortably, and I eventually learned that “electrical engineer” has two meanings. The first is a person with an electrical engineering degree, and they do technical stuff. The second is a hotel or business employee who does mild electrical work. This might include fixing a broken socket, installing a television, or replacing a broken telephone. This position is lower than an electrician. Whatever… I needed a job. The interviewer felt I was unqualified. Wow!
8) I had a phone interview with the head of Electrical Engineering at Thermo Fisher Scientific about ten years ago. I began cheerfuly, but the man immediately attacked my resume organization. I had a section with skills and another section with work experience. He insisted they should be combined to show what skill was used at what job. That would make a ten-page resume…
Then he paused for a long moment, and I asked, “Are you still there?” He yelled at me for interrupting him while he was reading my resume. Then, he scolded me for working at General Atomics. The interview concluded when he dramatically hung up.
The head hunter called later in the afternoon to ask how the call went, and I asked, “Don’t you know how big of a jerk this guy is?” “Yeah, we know.” “Then why on earth do you send candidates to him?” “Umm, my boss makes me.” “Well, stop!”
Funny follow-up: A different head hunter called me a year later about the same job. I asked if that same jerk was there. The answer was yes, and I asked why they were sending candidates. “My boss makes me. We placed three people there, and all three quit.” “Well, stop!”
9) Around 2015, I interviewed at a small company that made network switches optimized for streaming video. The phone interview and first interview went super well. They told me that I needed to interview with the company president and head of software. Two more interviews. Then, they wanted a follow-up interview with the first person I interviewed with, and then I had a phone follow-up with the president. Everything was perfect, and then… Nothing.
This was the first time I was ghosted, meaning the company never told me if I did or did not get the job. Now ghosting happens 70% of the time. Fun side note: The company went out of business eight months later.
10) I interviewed with a company that made long-distance optical data links around the same time. Think of this as Wi-Fi with lasers. The interview started well but went downhill. The problem? I did not know their product. I kept saying, “I can learn this technology.” My willingness to gain new skills made the situation far worse. In retrospect, the problem was that the person was looking for somebody to take over his job immediately. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later. Are you noticing a pattern?
11) About fifteen years ago, I interviewed at a Korean cell phone company moving their base station manufacturing operation to San Diego. They were in the early stages and only had ten employees in a building that could hold 500.
My interview was with the HR manager and a technical person I would not be working with. Umm, alright… Right away, the HR guy was off. He had a strange attitude and disliked answering basic questions like, “How often will I be required to go to Korea?” Somehow, this translated to “I never want to go on business trips.” The interview was going downhill fast, and he dropped a bombshell out of nowhere. “You know, I have been doing HR for years, and I can tell when a candidate will be offered an offer.” “So… What about me? Am I going to get hired?” He was utterly unsettled by my question and refused to answer. Writers call this “foreshadowing.”
Then, the technical person took over the interview, and I learned that I would be a “manufacturing support engineer.” The guy further broke this down. If I discovered an issue, I would bring it to the attention of the Korean design engineer, who would consider the matter. They would bring my discovery up to their manager if it was deemed important. I was told the manager always took credit for the discovery. If the manager deemed the issue important, this manager would take it up the chain. In summary, this was a demeaning job. Plus, the technical person revealed they were a year away from beginning production, and several unpleasant incidents had already occurred.
A letter from Korea informed me I did not get the job. It explained that the company would be bringing staff from Korea to fulfill my role, and my interview was the reason for the decision. What the heck? Fun side note: The company set up shop and immediately moved its operation back to Korea.
12) Ten years ago, I interviewed with an Australian medical design company that was opening a San Diego division. The process began with me calling the engineering manager in Australia at 2:30 a.m. my time. Gahh... Because my phone did not allow international calling, I went to five liquor stores to locate a pre-paid calling card. $25 that I would not be reimbursed.
The phone interview went well, and I was invited to have an in-person interview in San Diego. The building was nice, and three people joined me in the conference room. They were all Australian and would be on site until the division hired enough people for them to return.
The head of engineering joined us on a conference call. His first question was why I was leaving my present job. “The contract is ending,” was my answer. “Well, what could you have done to keep your job?” “They liked me, but upper management does not have another project. So, I have to go.” “Again, what could you have done to keep your job?” He did this same drill-down for my employment history, which consumed 80% of the interview. He never asked me what I did at my prior jobs or technical questions. The only positive part was discussing the first company I worked for. “Why did you leave that job?” “The owner died, and the company folded.” “Well, I guess you could not have avoided that.” I laughed out loud, which probably did not help my chances.
Then, I directed the conversation to what work I would be doing, and nobody could answer my basic questions. I got mildly upset and asked, “Is this an analog or digital job?” This is a fundamental question, such as, “Will I be flying a jet or propeller aircraft?” All four dodged the question.
Nevertheless, they were impressed and outlined the next step. I was to drive to LA the next morning (a different day or time was not an option) and undergo a battery of tests at a certified evaluation center. This was an eight-hour process. Then, I would interview again in San Diego to discuss the results and fly to Australia for a further interview. I got the feeling I would have to pay for this trip.
I emailed them that evening to decline. Why? At the time, I was not too desperate for a job and did not want to give up a vacation day. Plus, if the head of engineering did not know the difference between analog and digital, the company had deep problems that I could not solve. Funny side story: The company closed its San Diego branch a few months later.
13) Around 20 years ago, I interviewed with Precision Engine Controls. They make ignition systems for huge natural gas engines and controllers for massive turbine engines.
The job was to finish a turbine controller. I looked it over the design and was not impressed. I asked about making basic changes, and they said I would finish the design as fast as possible without addressing any issues. Then I asked about the “overspeed circuit.” This safety system cuts off the fuel if the turbine spins too fast. If this occurs, a massive turbine can fly apart and kill people. “We do that in software,” the man proudly stated. “There is no separate system? What about a software bug?” “It has never been an issue.”
I wanted nothing to do with a company that would proudly make a dangerous design. This was the first time I declined a job offer. Fun side note: I later had a coworker who used to work at the company, and she said it was a horrible place. I dodged a bullet on that one.
14) Five years ago, I had a great interview with a company that made a rapid DNA analyzer. It used an ultra-sensitive resistance measurement device coupled to an automated microscope. In the interview, I solved one of their biggest problems. Go Bill, go Bill!
There was just one issue. In the center of their sizeable central office were fifteen round tables, with four workers each. The place was loud, and a worker could high-five six people from the sitting position. They were all chit-chatting and staring at me for the entire interview (I was in an office with windows looking out to the room with the tables). Wow, this creeped me out.
They offered me a job, and I asked if I could work in a different part of the building. “It is company policy for our staff to reside in the combined working space.” “I do not think I could be productive in that environment.” “We have no available offices.” “How about the lab? Or a broom closet?” “No.” “Can you set up a cubical?” “No.” I declined the job because I could not work with 100 eyes staring at me.
Fun side note: A friend of a friend worked at the company, and everybody knew about my interview. This inspired a debate about the work environment, but management did not change the work setup. Later, a different friend interviewed at the company and declined for the same reason.
15) I worked at Pyxis for four years. They made medical inventory products, and while the job started well, politics drove me out. I was told the politics had improved ten years later, and a friend still working there got me an interview with his boss.
This guy had multiple PHDs (that probably came out of a Cracker Jacks box) in electrical, software, and mechanical engineering. In the interview, I quickly understood he did not “know his stuff.” Alright, no big deal. He seemed nice, and I knew my coworkers were good.
The company declined my employment, and I learned that my former boss (he had left Pyxis and returned to a non-engineering division) said I was an awful coworker. This was upsetting, but it turned out to be a blessing. Because I was not there, the boss fired my friend and hired his friends. The whole group was incompetent, and they were all fired. I would have met the same fate as my friend if I had been hired.
16) Early in my career, I had an interview with a company that supported old telephone equipment. The idea was that when a city upgraded its telephone infrastructure, it sold the used equipment to third-world countries. This company upgraded and replaced parts because the original manufacturer no longer supported old systems.
The interview started off strange. The man smelled awful, and the filthy office had piles of equipment everywhere. He explained that we were not allowed to make mistakes because of their tight budget. “So, I have to be perfect?” “Yes, I do it all the time, and I can show you how.” “Umm, OK.”
The man also told me I was expected to install the equipment at these distant locations. He broke down the situation. I would fly to the third-world country, and a bodyguard from the telephone company would meet me at the airport. “Don’t worry. You’re not in any danger. The bodyguard is there to protect your tools.” I would then sleep at the bodyguard’s house so he could guard my tools. “Umm, OK.”
At the time, I was single and looking for adventure. Sign me up! Alas, the man called me to say he was going to offer the job to a prior candidate who they initially refused because they wanted more money. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later.
17) My third worst interview was for a design company. They were in a distant part of San Diego, which required turning down unfamiliar back streets. I knew this navigation issue and gave myself an extra hour, but I arrived fifteen minutes late because of construction. The head of engineering was ultra-unimpressed at my tardiness. Yet… He admitted to being 30 minutes late to work for the same reason. Hmm.
The interview went rapidly downhill, and a coworker dropped off a schematic in the middle of it. The guy stops the interview to review the work and launches into the coworker about his bad design choices. I thought, “Looks fine to me.” Then, he drilled into one single aspect. I will not bore you with the technical details, but I can confirm this was standard practice (a pull-up resistor), and his argument was baseless. He then asked me to pile on. “Nah, the circuit is fine.” He launched into me, and I stood my ground. It was an awful day, and I absolutely did not want anything to do with that jerk, but he sent me an excellent thank you letter for interviewing.
18) The second worst interview I had was at Asymtek. They make glue dispensers for printed circuit boards. I got there promptly at 8:00 a.m., and the interview started with a test” to evaluate my technical ability. I had not prepared and did poorly. By 8:10, I knew I would not get the job, but decided to stay for the rest of the interview. I like to call these “practice interviews” which means I was not looking to get hired, but instead, trying to gain interview skills.
The first person to interview me was the company president. To put it mildly, he was an ass. He showed off their product and their manufacturing facility. My only thought was, “This mess needs a complete redesign, and their factory is even worse.” Then he launched into me for 30 minutes of insults mixed in with unfounded product glorifications.
I interviewed with the other staff, and they treated me to lunch. An incredible bunch of engineers. My day concluded at 6:00 p.m., and one employee escorted me out. I turned to him and said, “Thank you for the opportunity. Hey, I know I did not get the job because I completely blew the test. But I must ask. How the heck do you work with that guy? He’s such a jerk.” “Yeah, you got that right. Oh, crap! Don’t tell him I said that.” We both laughed.
19) My worst interview occurred at a company (I have since forgotten their worthless name) that made blood oxygen sensors. After I graduated from college in 1993, I moved to Orange County because San Diego had no employment. It turns out that there were no jobs there either. So, I worked at Kinkos (a copy center) for a year. It was too much, and I returned to San Diego, where I lived with my parents.
I was broke, demoralized, and desperate. In the classified section, I saw an “audio” job, but there was a problem. It was in Orange County. I loved working with audio but did not want to return to Orange County—too many bad memories. Oh well, I needed a job.
However, I had one stipulation. They needed to agree to my salary before I would accept an interview. They agreed, and I drove there on a chilly Monday morning. I knew it was chilly because I arrived an hour early to avoid any traffic, and my car was cold.
On the way to the conference room, the company owner casually mentioned, “Hey, I cannot meet your salary request.” What? Then why am I here? I did not say this because I wanted to impress him and ask for a pay bump. And it was audio!
The owner began by drawing a circuit on the whiteboard. He then asked me to devise the “transfer function.” This is a mathematical representation of how the circuit works. It was a simple op-amp circuit, and I had done this activity many times. However, there was a massive problem because the circuit had an inductor in the feedback loop. Now, I will not go into gory technical details, but this configuration would make the circuit unstable, a condition to avoid at all costs.
I was flabbergasted and said, “I have never done a design like this.” “Are you refusing to derive the transfer function?” “I am not sure where to begin.” I was about to discuss the circuit, but he wrote the function and hissed, “Now, conduct an analysis.”
His anger turned off my pleasant attitude, and I asked, “Umm, wait a second. Where is the audio part of this design?” (The circuit on the whiteboard did not have any audio components.) “There’s no sound in our design.” “But the job description said it was an audio job.” “You misunderstood. Our design works in the audio range.” “Look, this isn’t going to work for me.” “You’re damn right!”
So, I stood and was about to leave but said, “Hey, since I drove all this way. Can I see your design?” My request severely confused the guy, and he murmured, “Umm, yeah.” He took me to the lab and showed me their product. “Wow, this is a tight layout. I like the way you did this power section. And you used a Shark DSP. Nice. Hey, I bet you’re having timing problems.” The guy was floored by my insight and managed to murmur, “Yeah, we are.” “I can fix that.”
I walked out of the lab, and on the way to the front door, he offered, “Now, maybe we can reconsider this whole thing.” “No, you had your chance.” I went to my car happy, but this was my worst interview.
Fun side story: A friend interviewed there a year later and declined because “they had no idea what they were doing, and the boss was an idiot.”
19.5) I have an honorable mention, not in the bad interviews category (because I never interviewed there), but it is still entertaining. On Fridays, I occasionally go out to lunch with engineering friends. We have a lot of fun; it is a great networking opportunity.
One day, one of the guys was discussing a circuit he was having trouble with. He works for a company started in the mid-70s by two Hispanic men who left the Navy to start a maintenance contract business (I am still hopeful for getting a job there, so I do not want to mention the name). They were tight with their Navy buddies, and the business took off. Later, they changed to support outdated military equipment. The idea is that countries sell their old military systems to other nations. Because they are so old, the original company no longer supported them. Also, it was difficult to manufacture parts because they were based on obsolete components.
The circuit problem we discussed was a ‘70s logic board made by a German arms company. (We would now use a microprocessor to accomplish this task.) The design was discrete (it used transistors and not integrated circuits) and operated at a high voltage. (Engineers typically use 5 or 3.3 volts, but this circuit operated at 14. Really? Who picked that voltage?) My friend struggled to figure out how to substitute modern parts, and I asked, “Hey, why not use high-voltage logic?” That evening, I emailed him data sheets and recommended a circuit to solve the problem.
My friend worked in the test department and asked me if I wanted a job for sustaining, designing, and developing test fixtures. “Sure!” “Well, I have the budget. Consider yourself hired.” Did I get a job without an interview? How cool is that?
When the two friends started their business, they exclusively hired Hispanic workers. This had tax benefits and led to better relationships with overseas customers. It also made for a tight and friendly working environment. One partner retired in the early 2000s and sold the business to the second, but there was a stipulation. His daughter would continue to oversee accounting. She had an accounting degree and had done an excellent job, so this was not an issue.
My friend told the owner about me, who eagerly agreed to hire me. Now, I did have one issue. All employees spoke Spanish but were willing to make an exception if I took Spanish classes. I was not keen on learning a new language, but this job sounded amazing.
When my friend requested an offer letter, the accountant did not approve it. So, the two got into a heated argument. Her reason? I was not qualified. Unsatisfied, my friend asked the owner to intervene, and all three argued. Things began unraveling because she could not explain the issue. (Keep in mind that I never sent them a resume. Alight, I must brag some more. I got a job without sending a resume? Yes, that was cool.) The next day, she did not show up for work.
Two days later, the former owner (her father) went to check in on her. Her house was empty, and he later learned she had fled to Mexico. The owner hired an accounting firm to evaluate the finances. The business had taken out loans, owed money to suppliers, the bank account was overdrafted, and the pension fund was empty. There was a massive trail of forged signatures and money transfers to offshore accounts.
The owner contacted the district attorney, and the woman was charged with embezzlement. Fun side note: Her two kids (ages 2 and 3) were employees making $500K annually. More side notes: My friend never found out how the kid’s father fit into the picture.
The former owner was heartbroken and took out personal loans to keep the business going. The owner did the same. Workers had to take pay cuts, and some got unpaid leave. The pension checks stopped. Obviously, I was not going to get hired but there was one side benefit. Everyone at that company and a bunch of retirees knows my name. Imagine that?
For the next six months, the workers all had their ears open. They learned the accountant was attending a quinceañera (the celebration of a girl’s 15th birthday) at her cousin’s house in Ensenada, Mexico. Five big employees drove there, grabbed her in the middle of the party, and forcibly took her to the border. Apparently, they bribed the Mexican police to look the other way when customs agents were arresting this screaming woman.
The woman went before the judge and did not enter a plea. Here is where things get strange. She put all the stolen money into a trust for her kids, which made it difficult for the authorities to retrieve it legally. The money was also in an offshore bank, and she refused to divulge the details. There was no trial (my friend and I did not understand this), and she got a 15-year sentence without the possibility of parole. (A friend who knows the legal system explained that they give harsh sentences for embezzlement.) Her house and car in her driveway were sold, and the money was used to rebuild the pension fund. Her kids live at the cousin’s house. So far, except for the car and the house, not a cent has been returned.
My friend (and apparently the owner) said that as soon as the business stabilized, I would have “a job for life.” However, two years later, the owner made my friend hire a college student for my position. This worked out poorly; my friend is looking for a new job.
Those are my crazy interview stories. I hope you found them entertaining. Or was this a good therapy lesson? Perhaps I should be paying you. Hmm. This is something for me to think about at my next job interview.
You’re the best -Bill
May 22, 2024
The whole point of an interview is to see if the candidate is a good fit for the job. This process seems straightforward, but interviewers get wrapped up in side tangents, politics, and ulterior agendas. Interviewers sometimes (always) forget that the process is a two-way street, and the candidate is looking to see if the company is a good place to work. The following is an examination of what can go wrong.
1) About five years ago, I interviewed at Clear Com, who makes intercoms for the entertainment industry. The interview started well with friendly chit-chat. While speaking, I noticed a “company move schedule” on the whiteboard. “Is the company moving?” “Yes, we are moving the entire operation to Orange County. (A 90-minute drive on a good day. The topic of Orange County will appear a few times in this article.) The details are on our website.” “And you did not think to include this information in the job description?” My interview lasted five minutes. Later, I searched their website and did not find a single mention of the move. What a waste of time.
2) Eight years ago, I interviewed with a division of General Atomics, and I recall the position had something to do with communications. I entered the conference room, saw ten people, and everybody introduced themselves. It was exciting, and I looked forward to a new job.
Right out of the gate, the head person said the job was not with them, and I would be subcontracted to SPAWAR (a government design bureau) instead. I heard awful stories about SPAWAR and was reluctant to work there. Then, the bombshell. My office would be onsite in a room built in the ‘40s that had asbestos. I asked, “Why didn’t you put this in the job description?” “We tried that and did not get any candidates.” “Umm, this is a non-starter.” My interview lasted ten minutes, and I left angry. Incidentally, the other people in the room were also upset, and one even tore up my resume. How rude!
3) I graduated from college in 1993, and my first interview was with a big company I no longer remember. The economy was in a slump then, and the government stopped several military contracts because the Cold War was over. Getting an interview was tough, and I was happy to be there. Yay! I arrived in a suit my grandmother purchased as a high school graduation present and was led to a conference room with four others. They were 15 to 25 years older than me. We were all interviewing for the same job! What???
There were no introductions, and the interviewer began asking questions, which each of us individually answered. They were a mix of job experience and technical. I quickly answered the first two, and they asked, “Do you know what a BOM is?” I shrugged and answered, “Umm, the thing that a plane drops.” The assembled people chuckled, and another candidate responded smugly, “BOM stands for Bill Of Materials.” “Oh, you mean a parts list. I know what a parts list is and have created several. No big deal.” The interviewer looked disappointed, and I knew I would not get the job.
In hindsight, I should have flipped them off and stormed out. I was still a young punk at the time, and this would not have been out of character. This was my first rejection letter, and the incident took away confidence that took months to rebuild.
4) Around 2000, I interviewed at a small company that made underwater modems. Think of this as Wi-Fi with sound. They were a tiny place, and the “office guy” had me fill out a job application when I arrived. Then, he had me take an engineering test at a desk in the CAD department.
As I slogged through the poorly designed test, I could tell the CAD designer at the next desk was not in a great mood. When I looked at what she was doing, I saw her using AutoCAD PCB (Printed Circuit Board). I can say for sure this deplorable pile of (swear words) is the worst piece of software ever made. Engineers and CAD technicians universally hated it, and AutoCAD dropped the entire product line a year after its introduction. I asked the woman if she was indeed using AutoCAD PCB, and she confirmed my suspicion and how miserable it was. Then we had a great chat about the company. This conversation convinced me that the place was not a good fit for me or any human being.
I went back to the “office guy” and demanded my application back. He gave it to me without even asking why. I left feeling relieved. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later. Do I believe AutoCAD PCB was a big part of why they are no longer around? 100%
5) Around 2010, I interviewed with a company that made single-board computers. These are used in industrial applications, and Maxwell Technologies later purchased the company. I think they phased out that division.
The interviewer began with technical questions, which turned into me solving problems. I flew through the process but sensed a problem. The interviewer was getting more and more despondent. Finally, the guy said with a hint of anger, “We are looking for a more senior person.” “Well, you saw my resume. I have been working for years. What more do you need?” “We are looking for a person with more experience.” This attitude ticked me off, and I asked, “Well then, why did you interview me?” The guy fidgeted and answered, “You looked good on paper.” “But I answered every one of your questions.” “Umm.” “Clearly, I’m a good fit.” “Umm.” I left angry.
6) Two days later (it was an insane week), I interviewed with a company that made radio nodes (long-distance Wi-Fi). The interview started strange, with the head of engineering failing to describe their product and what their customers used it for. Then he got off on a side tangent about riverboats. He told me my job would be to add Voice Over IP (a telephone interface). This was a technical buzzword, and I said, “Oh, they make an integrated circuit that does this. It should take me about a week.” “I looked everywhere, and no company makes one!” (That evening, I did a two-minute search and found four companies that made them.) I realized I had made a mistake and apologized to save the interview. Then the guy started asking technical questions, cutting me off in mid-sentence with new questions. This was not pleasant, but I answered every one.
I interviewed with five more people, and they were all bored out of their minds. After the interview, my headhunter, Jim Montana, told me I did not get the job. He told me the first guy had a mini-meeting with the following people and said he did not want to hire me. I asked, “Then why did they waste my time?” “I don’t know.” “Well, do not send them any more candidates until they learn how to interview.” He called the company the next day and argued with HR. This conversation convinced him to stop sending them candidates. A year later, they were out of business.
Fun side story: there is an alternative porn star named Jim Montana.
In retrospect, both these companies had the same issue. Smug jerks punish smart kids so they can act like the kings of their castles. I had an idiot/chauvinist boss at SAIC who was in the same boat. His only function was to prove to his team that he had at least one brain cell. What a miserable place to work. The entire division was folded by upper SAIC management, but… They kept two people. I guess being a jerk has its rewards. The other person was the textbook definition of a micromanager.
7) I learned a hard lesson during my third interview. It was 1994, and the only way to find a job (unless you had an inside contact) was to look in the newspaper classifieds. So, when I saw “wanted, electrical engineer,” I called the number and got an interview. But it was at the Marriot hotel… Apparently, engineering companies work out of hotels. Whatever, I needed a job. After paying to park my car, I went to the front desk. They made calls, and an attendant escorted me to the basement.
The interview started uncomfortably, and I eventually learned that “electrical engineer” has two meanings. The first is a person with an electrical engineering degree, and they do technical stuff. The second is a hotel or business employee who does mild electrical work. This might include fixing a broken socket, installing a television, or replacing a broken telephone. This position is lower than an electrician. Whatever… I needed a job. The interviewer felt I was unqualified. Wow!
8) I had a phone interview with the head of Electrical Engineering at Thermo Fisher Scientific about ten years ago. I began cheerfuly, but the man immediately attacked my resume organization. I had a section with skills and another section with work experience. He insisted they should be combined to show what skill was used at what job. That would make a ten-page resume…
Then he paused for a long moment, and I asked, “Are you still there?” He yelled at me for interrupting him while he was reading my resume. Then, he scolded me for working at General Atomics. The interview concluded when he dramatically hung up.
The head hunter called later in the afternoon to ask how the call went, and I asked, “Don’t you know how big of a jerk this guy is?” “Yeah, we know.” “Then why on earth do you send candidates to him?” “Umm, my boss makes me.” “Well, stop!”
Funny follow-up: A different head hunter called me a year later about the same job. I asked if that same jerk was there. The answer was yes, and I asked why they were sending candidates. “My boss makes me. We placed three people there, and all three quit.” “Well, stop!”
9) Around 2015, I interviewed at a small company that made network switches optimized for streaming video. The phone interview and first interview went super well. They told me that I needed to interview with the company president and head of software. Two more interviews. Then, they wanted a follow-up interview with the first person I interviewed with, and then I had a phone follow-up with the president. Everything was perfect, and then… Nothing.
This was the first time I was ghosted, meaning the company never told me if I did or did not get the job. Now ghosting happens 70% of the time. Fun side note: The company went out of business eight months later.
10) I interviewed with a company that made long-distance optical data links around the same time. Think of this as Wi-Fi with lasers. The interview started well but went downhill. The problem? I did not know their product. I kept saying, “I can learn this technology.” My willingness to gain new skills made the situation far worse. In retrospect, the problem was that the person was looking for somebody to take over his job immediately. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later. Are you noticing a pattern?
11) About fifteen years ago, I interviewed at a Korean cell phone company moving their base station manufacturing operation to San Diego. They were in the early stages and only had ten employees in a building that could hold 500.
My interview was with the HR manager and a technical person I would not be working with. Umm, alright… Right away, the HR guy was off. He had a strange attitude and disliked answering basic questions like, “How often will I be required to go to Korea?” Somehow, this translated to “I never want to go on business trips.” The interview was going downhill fast, and he dropped a bombshell out of nowhere. “You know, I have been doing HR for years, and I can tell when a candidate will be offered an offer.” “So… What about me? Am I going to get hired?” He was utterly unsettled by my question and refused to answer. Writers call this “foreshadowing.”
Then, the technical person took over the interview, and I learned that I would be a “manufacturing support engineer.” The guy further broke this down. If I discovered an issue, I would bring it to the attention of the Korean design engineer, who would consider the matter. They would bring my discovery up to their manager if it was deemed important. I was told the manager always took credit for the discovery. If the manager deemed the issue important, this manager would take it up the chain. In summary, this was a demeaning job. Plus, the technical person revealed they were a year away from beginning production, and several unpleasant incidents had already occurred.
A letter from Korea informed me I did not get the job. It explained that the company would be bringing staff from Korea to fulfill my role, and my interview was the reason for the decision. What the heck? Fun side note: The company set up shop and immediately moved its operation back to Korea.
12) Ten years ago, I interviewed with an Australian medical design company that was opening a San Diego division. The process began with me calling the engineering manager in Australia at 2:30 a.m. my time. Gahh... Because my phone did not allow international calling, I went to five liquor stores to locate a pre-paid calling card. $25 that I would not be reimbursed.
The phone interview went well, and I was invited to have an in-person interview in San Diego. The building was nice, and three people joined me in the conference room. They were all Australian and would be on site until the division hired enough people for them to return.
The head of engineering joined us on a conference call. His first question was why I was leaving my present job. “The contract is ending,” was my answer. “Well, what could you have done to keep your job?” “They liked me, but upper management does not have another project. So, I have to go.” “Again, what could you have done to keep your job?” He did this same drill-down for my employment history, which consumed 80% of the interview. He never asked me what I did at my prior jobs or technical questions. The only positive part was discussing the first company I worked for. “Why did you leave that job?” “The owner died, and the company folded.” “Well, I guess you could not have avoided that.” I laughed out loud, which probably did not help my chances.
Then, I directed the conversation to what work I would be doing, and nobody could answer my basic questions. I got mildly upset and asked, “Is this an analog or digital job?” This is a fundamental question, such as, “Will I be flying a jet or propeller aircraft?” All four dodged the question.
Nevertheless, they were impressed and outlined the next step. I was to drive to LA the next morning (a different day or time was not an option) and undergo a battery of tests at a certified evaluation center. This was an eight-hour process. Then, I would interview again in San Diego to discuss the results and fly to Australia for a further interview. I got the feeling I would have to pay for this trip.
I emailed them that evening to decline. Why? At the time, I was not too desperate for a job and did not want to give up a vacation day. Plus, if the head of engineering did not know the difference between analog and digital, the company had deep problems that I could not solve. Funny side story: The company closed its San Diego branch a few months later.
13) Around 20 years ago, I interviewed with Precision Engine Controls. They make ignition systems for huge natural gas engines and controllers for massive turbine engines.
The job was to finish a turbine controller. I looked it over the design and was not impressed. I asked about making basic changes, and they said I would finish the design as fast as possible without addressing any issues. Then I asked about the “overspeed circuit.” This safety system cuts off the fuel if the turbine spins too fast. If this occurs, a massive turbine can fly apart and kill people. “We do that in software,” the man proudly stated. “There is no separate system? What about a software bug?” “It has never been an issue.”
I wanted nothing to do with a company that would proudly make a dangerous design. This was the first time I declined a job offer. Fun side note: I later had a coworker who used to work at the company, and she said it was a horrible place. I dodged a bullet on that one.
14) Five years ago, I had a great interview with a company that made a rapid DNA analyzer. It used an ultra-sensitive resistance measurement device coupled to an automated microscope. In the interview, I solved one of their biggest problems. Go Bill, go Bill!
There was just one issue. In the center of their sizeable central office were fifteen round tables, with four workers each. The place was loud, and a worker could high-five six people from the sitting position. They were all chit-chatting and staring at me for the entire interview (I was in an office with windows looking out to the room with the tables). Wow, this creeped me out.
They offered me a job, and I asked if I could work in a different part of the building. “It is company policy for our staff to reside in the combined working space.” “I do not think I could be productive in that environment.” “We have no available offices.” “How about the lab? Or a broom closet?” “No.” “Can you set up a cubical?” “No.” I declined the job because I could not work with 100 eyes staring at me.
Fun side note: A friend of a friend worked at the company, and everybody knew about my interview. This inspired a debate about the work environment, but management did not change the work setup. Later, a different friend interviewed at the company and declined for the same reason.
15) I worked at Pyxis for four years. They made medical inventory products, and while the job started well, politics drove me out. I was told the politics had improved ten years later, and a friend still working there got me an interview with his boss.
This guy had multiple PHDs (that probably came out of a Cracker Jacks box) in electrical, software, and mechanical engineering. In the interview, I quickly understood he did not “know his stuff.” Alright, no big deal. He seemed nice, and I knew my coworkers were good.
The company declined my employment, and I learned that my former boss (he had left Pyxis and returned to a non-engineering division) said I was an awful coworker. This was upsetting, but it turned out to be a blessing. Because I was not there, the boss fired my friend and hired his friends. The whole group was incompetent, and they were all fired. I would have met the same fate as my friend if I had been hired.
16) Early in my career, I had an interview with a company that supported old telephone equipment. The idea was that when a city upgraded its telephone infrastructure, it sold the used equipment to third-world countries. This company upgraded and replaced parts because the original manufacturer no longer supported old systems.
The interview started off strange. The man smelled awful, and the filthy office had piles of equipment everywhere. He explained that we were not allowed to make mistakes because of their tight budget. “So, I have to be perfect?” “Yes, I do it all the time, and I can show you how.” “Umm, OK.”
The man also told me I was expected to install the equipment at these distant locations. He broke down the situation. I would fly to the third-world country, and a bodyguard from the telephone company would meet me at the airport. “Don’t worry. You’re not in any danger. The bodyguard is there to protect your tools.” I would then sleep at the bodyguard’s house so he could guard my tools. “Umm, OK.”
At the time, I was single and looking for adventure. Sign me up! Alas, the man called me to say he was going to offer the job to a prior candidate who they initially refused because they wanted more money. Fun side note: The company went out of business six months later.
17) My third worst interview was for a design company. They were in a distant part of San Diego, which required turning down unfamiliar back streets. I knew this navigation issue and gave myself an extra hour, but I arrived fifteen minutes late because of construction. The head of engineering was ultra-unimpressed at my tardiness. Yet… He admitted to being 30 minutes late to work for the same reason. Hmm.
The interview went rapidly downhill, and a coworker dropped off a schematic in the middle of it. The guy stops the interview to review the work and launches into the coworker about his bad design choices. I thought, “Looks fine to me.” Then, he drilled into one single aspect. I will not bore you with the technical details, but I can confirm this was standard practice (a pull-up resistor), and his argument was baseless. He then asked me to pile on. “Nah, the circuit is fine.” He launched into me, and I stood my ground. It was an awful day, and I absolutely did not want anything to do with that jerk, but he sent me an excellent thank you letter for interviewing.
18) The second worst interview I had was at Asymtek. They make glue dispensers for printed circuit boards. I got there promptly at 8:00 a.m., and the interview started with a test” to evaluate my technical ability. I had not prepared and did poorly. By 8:10, I knew I would not get the job, but decided to stay for the rest of the interview. I like to call these “practice interviews” which means I was not looking to get hired, but instead, trying to gain interview skills.
The first person to interview me was the company president. To put it mildly, he was an ass. He showed off their product and their manufacturing facility. My only thought was, “This mess needs a complete redesign, and their factory is even worse.” Then he launched into me for 30 minutes of insults mixed in with unfounded product glorifications.
I interviewed with the other staff, and they treated me to lunch. An incredible bunch of engineers. My day concluded at 6:00 p.m., and one employee escorted me out. I turned to him and said, “Thank you for the opportunity. Hey, I know I did not get the job because I completely blew the test. But I must ask. How the heck do you work with that guy? He’s such a jerk.” “Yeah, you got that right. Oh, crap! Don’t tell him I said that.” We both laughed.
19) My worst interview occurred at a company (I have since forgotten their worthless name) that made blood oxygen sensors. After I graduated from college in 1993, I moved to Orange County because San Diego had no employment. It turns out that there were no jobs there either. So, I worked at Kinkos (a copy center) for a year. It was too much, and I returned to San Diego, where I lived with my parents.
I was broke, demoralized, and desperate. In the classified section, I saw an “audio” job, but there was a problem. It was in Orange County. I loved working with audio but did not want to return to Orange County—too many bad memories. Oh well, I needed a job.
However, I had one stipulation. They needed to agree to my salary before I would accept an interview. They agreed, and I drove there on a chilly Monday morning. I knew it was chilly because I arrived an hour early to avoid any traffic, and my car was cold.
On the way to the conference room, the company owner casually mentioned, “Hey, I cannot meet your salary request.” What? Then why am I here? I did not say this because I wanted to impress him and ask for a pay bump. And it was audio!
The owner began by drawing a circuit on the whiteboard. He then asked me to devise the “transfer function.” This is a mathematical representation of how the circuit works. It was a simple op-amp circuit, and I had done this activity many times. However, there was a massive problem because the circuit had an inductor in the feedback loop. Now, I will not go into gory technical details, but this configuration would make the circuit unstable, a condition to avoid at all costs.
I was flabbergasted and said, “I have never done a design like this.” “Are you refusing to derive the transfer function?” “I am not sure where to begin.” I was about to discuss the circuit, but he wrote the function and hissed, “Now, conduct an analysis.”
His anger turned off my pleasant attitude, and I asked, “Umm, wait a second. Where is the audio part of this design?” (The circuit on the whiteboard did not have any audio components.) “There’s no sound in our design.” “But the job description said it was an audio job.” “You misunderstood. Our design works in the audio range.” “Look, this isn’t going to work for me.” “You’re damn right!”
So, I stood and was about to leave but said, “Hey, since I drove all this way. Can I see your design?” My request severely confused the guy, and he murmured, “Umm, yeah.” He took me to the lab and showed me their product. “Wow, this is a tight layout. I like the way you did this power section. And you used a Shark DSP. Nice. Hey, I bet you’re having timing problems.” The guy was floored by my insight and managed to murmur, “Yeah, we are.” “I can fix that.”
I walked out of the lab, and on the way to the front door, he offered, “Now, maybe we can reconsider this whole thing.” “No, you had your chance.” I went to my car happy, but this was my worst interview.
Fun side story: A friend interviewed there a year later and declined because “they had no idea what they were doing, and the boss was an idiot.”
19.5) I have an honorable mention, not in the bad interviews category (because I never interviewed there), but it is still entertaining. On Fridays, I occasionally go out to lunch with engineering friends. We have a lot of fun; it is a great networking opportunity.
One day, one of the guys was discussing a circuit he was having trouble with. He works for a company started in the mid-70s by two Hispanic men who left the Navy to start a maintenance contract business (I am still hopeful for getting a job there, so I do not want to mention the name). They were tight with their Navy buddies, and the business took off. Later, they changed to support outdated military equipment. The idea is that countries sell their old military systems to other nations. Because they are so old, the original company no longer supported them. Also, it was difficult to manufacture parts because they were based on obsolete components.
The circuit problem we discussed was a ‘70s logic board made by a German arms company. (We would now use a microprocessor to accomplish this task.) The design was discrete (it used transistors and not integrated circuits) and operated at a high voltage. (Engineers typically use 5 or 3.3 volts, but this circuit operated at 14. Really? Who picked that voltage?) My friend struggled to figure out how to substitute modern parts, and I asked, “Hey, why not use high-voltage logic?” That evening, I emailed him data sheets and recommended a circuit to solve the problem.
My friend worked in the test department and asked me if I wanted a job for sustaining, designing, and developing test fixtures. “Sure!” “Well, I have the budget. Consider yourself hired.” Did I get a job without an interview? How cool is that?
When the two friends started their business, they exclusively hired Hispanic workers. This had tax benefits and led to better relationships with overseas customers. It also made for a tight and friendly working environment. One partner retired in the early 2000s and sold the business to the second, but there was a stipulation. His daughter would continue to oversee accounting. She had an accounting degree and had done an excellent job, so this was not an issue.
My friend told the owner about me, who eagerly agreed to hire me. Now, I did have one issue. All employees spoke Spanish but were willing to make an exception if I took Spanish classes. I was not keen on learning a new language, but this job sounded amazing.
When my friend requested an offer letter, the accountant did not approve it. So, the two got into a heated argument. Her reason? I was not qualified. Unsatisfied, my friend asked the owner to intervene, and all three argued. Things began unraveling because she could not explain the issue. (Keep in mind that I never sent them a resume. Alight, I must brag some more. I got a job without sending a resume? Yes, that was cool.) The next day, she did not show up for work.
Two days later, the former owner (her father) went to check in on her. Her house was empty, and he later learned she had fled to Mexico. The owner hired an accounting firm to evaluate the finances. The business had taken out loans, owed money to suppliers, the bank account was overdrafted, and the pension fund was empty. There was a massive trail of forged signatures and money transfers to offshore accounts.
The owner contacted the district attorney, and the woman was charged with embezzlement. Fun side note: Her two kids (ages 2 and 3) were employees making $500K annually. More side notes: My friend never found out how the kid’s father fit into the picture.
The former owner was heartbroken and took out personal loans to keep the business going. The owner did the same. Workers had to take pay cuts, and some got unpaid leave. The pension checks stopped. Obviously, I was not going to get hired but there was one side benefit. Everyone at that company and a bunch of retirees knows my name. Imagine that?
For the next six months, the workers all had their ears open. They learned the accountant was attending a quinceañera (the celebration of a girl’s 15th birthday) at her cousin’s house in Ensenada, Mexico. Five big employees drove there, grabbed her in the middle of the party, and forcibly took her to the border. Apparently, they bribed the Mexican police to look the other way when customs agents were arresting this screaming woman.
The woman went before the judge and did not enter a plea. Here is where things get strange. She put all the stolen money into a trust for her kids, which made it difficult for the authorities to retrieve it legally. The money was also in an offshore bank, and she refused to divulge the details. There was no trial (my friend and I did not understand this), and she got a 15-year sentence without the possibility of parole. (A friend who knows the legal system explained that they give harsh sentences for embezzlement.) Her house and car in her driveway were sold, and the money was used to rebuild the pension fund. Her kids live at the cousin’s house. So far, except for the car and the house, not a cent has been returned.
My friend (and apparently the owner) said that as soon as the business stabilized, I would have “a job for life.” However, two years later, the owner made my friend hire a college student for my position. This worked out poorly; my friend is looking for a new job.
Those are my crazy interview stories. I hope you found them entertaining. Or was this a good therapy lesson? Perhaps I should be paying you. Hmm. This is something for me to think about at my next job interview.
You’re the best -Bill
May 22, 2024
