Bill Conrad's Blog - Posts Tagged "dialogue"
Dialogue Is Easy; Scripts Are Difficult
Dialogue is the written form of speech. Sarah said, “Hello, Brad. Did you have a wonderful weekend?” These sentences read just like a person talking.
How does a writer come up with dialogue? That’s easy. A writer thinks about what a character would say, and they write it down. As a bonus, readers have low dialogue expectations because people are undisciplined when they speak. Verbal sentences get loaded with poor grammar, incorrect words, lazy abbreviations, invented words, goofy sounds, and lots of nonsense. “Umm. Ahh, hey. Like, what are you doing dis weekend? You know, after Friday and such? Can you answer that? Now? Today?” Am I exaggerating with that example? Not really. People can be lazy when they speak.
A typical fiction book contains 10 to 40% dialogue. This means that I only spend 20% of my self-editing time on the dialogue. Why? Because dialogue sentences are simple. The spoken information is, and the intent is obvious. However, the sentences supporting the dialogue are a different matter. They are direct, full of feelings, elaborate descriptions, and plot. Readers expect a lot of detail and clarity.
Plays and movies are in a distant category. They use a short [compared to a book] script containing 90% dialogue. The remaining 10% are terse notes about the scene and acting direction. The story within a play or a movie can only be told through dialogue, which makes every word critical.
The dialogue in a script must be perfect for carrying the story and fitting in a short time. A single spoken sentence can make or break the entire work. Want some proof? “Luke, I am your father.” Five simple words made the entire movie. Dialogue does not get much better than that.
I have an idea for two short plays and a movie. Are they any good? If I am, to be honest, I would say they would rate a grade C at this stage. If I worked on the concept, I think I could improve them. I would never consider those concepts letter grade A. Well, why not take the leap? Write a script and submit it. Perhaps I will get lucky, or somebody with more experience could polish it into something extraordinary.
I find creating a script too intimidating, but I enjoy writing dialogue because it is fun thinking about what a character would say.
Besides, readers do not read scripts. Instead, they watch movies or plays. Have you read the script for the epic movie Star Wars? Only the most devoted fan has ever read the script. Why? People enjoy watching the film, and there is no need to read the script. Besides, scripts are boring. Talk, talk, talk. A person reading a script needs all their imagination to view the scene.
A script is only worth something to a person who wants to turn it into a play or movie. Once accepted, many people get involved in production, which leads to another problem. When a movie or play fails, lots of people know about it. However, if a terrible book does not sell, it does not sell. The worst case is a warehouse full of unsold books and a few critical reviews. “Stan’s latest book is not a recommend read.” Granted, the author/publisher would not be too happy.
Does this mean that scripts are the pinnacle of writing? Perhaps. However, scripts are shorter than books, and when they do not sell, the public does not know. Will Hollywood ever get a hold of one of my scripts? Hmm. Probably not. Or is that something to aspire to? Hey, I got this. I could write a script about writing a script. I will call it “play on words.”
How does a writer come up with dialogue? That’s easy. A writer thinks about what a character would say, and they write it down. As a bonus, readers have low dialogue expectations because people are undisciplined when they speak. Verbal sentences get loaded with poor grammar, incorrect words, lazy abbreviations, invented words, goofy sounds, and lots of nonsense. “Umm. Ahh, hey. Like, what are you doing dis weekend? You know, after Friday and such? Can you answer that? Now? Today?” Am I exaggerating with that example? Not really. People can be lazy when they speak.
A typical fiction book contains 10 to 40% dialogue. This means that I only spend 20% of my self-editing time on the dialogue. Why? Because dialogue sentences are simple. The spoken information is, and the intent is obvious. However, the sentences supporting the dialogue are a different matter. They are direct, full of feelings, elaborate descriptions, and plot. Readers expect a lot of detail and clarity.
Plays and movies are in a distant category. They use a short [compared to a book] script containing 90% dialogue. The remaining 10% are terse notes about the scene and acting direction. The story within a play or a movie can only be told through dialogue, which makes every word critical.
The dialogue in a script must be perfect for carrying the story and fitting in a short time. A single spoken sentence can make or break the entire work. Want some proof? “Luke, I am your father.” Five simple words made the entire movie. Dialogue does not get much better than that.
I have an idea for two short plays and a movie. Are they any good? If I am, to be honest, I would say they would rate a grade C at this stage. If I worked on the concept, I think I could improve them. I would never consider those concepts letter grade A. Well, why not take the leap? Write a script and submit it. Perhaps I will get lucky, or somebody with more experience could polish it into something extraordinary.
I find creating a script too intimidating, but I enjoy writing dialogue because it is fun thinking about what a character would say.
Besides, readers do not read scripts. Instead, they watch movies or plays. Have you read the script for the epic movie Star Wars? Only the most devoted fan has ever read the script. Why? People enjoy watching the film, and there is no need to read the script. Besides, scripts are boring. Talk, talk, talk. A person reading a script needs all their imagination to view the scene.
A script is only worth something to a person who wants to turn it into a play or movie. Once accepted, many people get involved in production, which leads to another problem. When a movie or play fails, lots of people know about it. However, if a terrible book does not sell, it does not sell. The worst case is a warehouse full of unsold books and a few critical reviews. “Stan’s latest book is not a recommend read.” Granted, the author/publisher would not be too happy.
Does this mean that scripts are the pinnacle of writing? Perhaps. However, scripts are shorter than books, and when they do not sell, the public does not know. Will Hollywood ever get a hold of one of my scripts? Hmm. Probably not. Or is that something to aspire to? Hey, I got this. I could write a script about writing a script. I will call it “play on words.”
My Doddering Deposition Dialogue
In 2021, I witnessed a car accident and gave a deposition two weeks ago. In case you have never had the pleasure, this is when the plaintiff and defense attorney sit you in front of a video camera with a court reporter. They take turns pummeling you with questions while doing their best to get the answer that helps their side. It felt like I was a piece of rope that two dogs were fighting over.
I answered all their questions to the best of my ability and was happy when it was over. A few days later, they sent me a copy of my transcript to review, and when I looked it over, the court reporter perfectly captured my words. Yay?
Now, I must take a quick side track. I claim to be an author, meaning I should have basic English language skills that extend to my daily speech. Right? It turns out this is not so. My deposition contained junk words, bad grammar, tangents, and wildly incoherent thoughts. What a mess. So, I thought it would be fun to take a trip down the awful dialogue lane.
“So that has nothing to do with – with -- what happened. I’m just clarifying what -- what I’m seeing.”
“No. I -- I -- um, no. I’m -- I’m thinking of jury duty. Sorry.”
“The -- the speeding car went into the Sheriff’s car. So, I mean, they – they both impacted, they were both moving at the time of -- of the accident”
“By the time the -- the -- that I was able to get through traffic and park, people had run over, and they were crowding that area.”
“The -- the parking lot is here, that’s another circle with an ‘X’, and -- and I walked over and watched and -- and waited for the police officer -- or -- or a free police officer that I could attract their attention.”
“The -- the -- the car that was speeding, I believe it was black, I believe it was an SUV, the exact type I’m really not sure.”
“I don’t remember if he gave me his business card or whatever, and I think later on they called me and I said, Hey, I -- I don’t have that. And they’re like, Hey, bring down what you do have and give it to this person.”
“I -- you -- you know, you -- we have to be fair and you’re correct. I am not sure if he began the issue -- incident here or if he was here.”
“It was kinda just like in the movies, you know. It’s not something you expect to see in real life, but, yeah, you know.”
“So what happened was the -- the light here had changed, so that’s going this direction; that that’s permitting traffic to flow.”
“So, I mean, they – they both impacted, they were both moving at the time of -- of the accident.”
“The Plaintiff called me, what, four or five weeks ago, I’m not sure how long ago, and said, Hey, you know, heard you had video. And -- and so I -- I described what we said today, but in -- in much less detail.”
“I don’t remember if he gave me his business card or whatever, and I think later on they called me and I said, Hey, I -- I don’t have that. And they’re like, Hey, bring down what you do have and give it to this person.”
These quotes read like I spoke with a mouth full of rocks. Hey, was it obvious, like I live in like, California and stuff? What was up with “the -- the – the?” Does my mouth work like a 70s car that does not turn off? Ka-chunka, ka-chunka, ka-chunka.
To top this off, I strive to speak well, and on that day, I put in great effort to be as clear as possible. This was not a lazy conversation with friends; I was actively doing my best to speak clearly. That makes my rabble even worse. Of course, I know humans do not have grammatically perfect speech, but I expected better.
Should writers and scriptwriters study depositions to create realistic dialogue? Take this mess: “It was kinda just like in the movies, you know. It’s not something you expect to see in real life, but, yeah, you know.” My corrected version would read: “What I witnessed was unreal, as if I watched a movie.” It now makes sense, but the two are far apart.
The problem is that readers are unwilling to accept my natural speech because it is too uncoordinated. Thus, I do not recommend writers get near a deposition for inspiration because this “resource” would do more harm than good.
Taking a high-level view, my deposition was not as bad as it could have been. I certainly have witnessed my share of poorly spoken English. Still, this was a wake-up call that my verbal skills require improvement.
You’re the best -Bill
May 07, 2025
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
I answered all their questions to the best of my ability and was happy when it was over. A few days later, they sent me a copy of my transcript to review, and when I looked it over, the court reporter perfectly captured my words. Yay?
Now, I must take a quick side track. I claim to be an author, meaning I should have basic English language skills that extend to my daily speech. Right? It turns out this is not so. My deposition contained junk words, bad grammar, tangents, and wildly incoherent thoughts. What a mess. So, I thought it would be fun to take a trip down the awful dialogue lane.
“So that has nothing to do with – with -- what happened. I’m just clarifying what -- what I’m seeing.”
“No. I -- I -- um, no. I’m -- I’m thinking of jury duty. Sorry.”
“The -- the speeding car went into the Sheriff’s car. So, I mean, they – they both impacted, they were both moving at the time of -- of the accident”
“By the time the -- the -- that I was able to get through traffic and park, people had run over, and they were crowding that area.”
“The -- the parking lot is here, that’s another circle with an ‘X’, and -- and I walked over and watched and -- and waited for the police officer -- or -- or a free police officer that I could attract their attention.”
“The -- the -- the car that was speeding, I believe it was black, I believe it was an SUV, the exact type I’m really not sure.”
“I don’t remember if he gave me his business card or whatever, and I think later on they called me and I said, Hey, I -- I don’t have that. And they’re like, Hey, bring down what you do have and give it to this person.”
“I -- you -- you know, you -- we have to be fair and you’re correct. I am not sure if he began the issue -- incident here or if he was here.”
“It was kinda just like in the movies, you know. It’s not something you expect to see in real life, but, yeah, you know.”
“So what happened was the -- the light here had changed, so that’s going this direction; that that’s permitting traffic to flow.”
“So, I mean, they – they both impacted, they were both moving at the time of -- of the accident.”
“The Plaintiff called me, what, four or five weeks ago, I’m not sure how long ago, and said, Hey, you know, heard you had video. And -- and so I -- I described what we said today, but in -- in much less detail.”
“I don’t remember if he gave me his business card or whatever, and I think later on they called me and I said, Hey, I -- I don’t have that. And they’re like, Hey, bring down what you do have and give it to this person.”
These quotes read like I spoke with a mouth full of rocks. Hey, was it obvious, like I live in like, California and stuff? What was up with “the -- the – the?” Does my mouth work like a 70s car that does not turn off? Ka-chunka, ka-chunka, ka-chunka.
To top this off, I strive to speak well, and on that day, I put in great effort to be as clear as possible. This was not a lazy conversation with friends; I was actively doing my best to speak clearly. That makes my rabble even worse. Of course, I know humans do not have grammatically perfect speech, but I expected better.
Should writers and scriptwriters study depositions to create realistic dialogue? Take this mess: “It was kinda just like in the movies, you know. It’s not something you expect to see in real life, but, yeah, you know.” My corrected version would read: “What I witnessed was unreal, as if I watched a movie.” It now makes sense, but the two are far apart.
The problem is that readers are unwilling to accept my natural speech because it is too uncoordinated. Thus, I do not recommend writers get near a deposition for inspiration because this “resource” would do more harm than good.
Taking a high-level view, my deposition was not as bad as it could have been. I certainly have witnessed my share of poorly spoken English. Still, this was a wake-up call that my verbal skills require improvement.
You’re the best -Bill
May 07, 2025
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
Whedonspeak
I occasionally watch YouTube videos by the Critical Drinker, which is devoted to lambasting awful movies and fallen Hollywood personalities. The videos are fun, but I do not take the content too seriously because life is too short to dwell on the negatives.
Besides entertainment, my main reason for watching is to learn how professionals deal with criticism. Specifically, I want to know what not to do. So, it was no surprise that I was interested in “Crash and Burn - The Joss Whedon Story.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Szy...
In case you are not familiar, Joss Whedon is a renowned director of popular movies and television shows. This includes one of my favorites, Firefly. I adore the writing, plot, acting, and premise of this incredible space opera. The people responsible for sacking this show should be locked up in the darkest prison for eternity.
Since that show ended, I have not followed Joss Whedon’s career too closely. It came as a surprise when The Critical Drinker’s video exposed his inappropriate behavior toward the actresses. I was unaware of his awful behavior and will be going out of my way to avoid any of his upcoming material. Thanks, Critical Drinker, for the exposure.
Yet, that is not why I am writing this article. The video identified something called “Whedonspeak,” also known as Whedon Dialogue, Whedonisms, or Buffy Speak. I had no idea what this was and learned more in this excellent Reddit article:
https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRan...
Joss Whedon has a distinct dialogue style; each spoken line stands out with quips, puns, ridicule, tricks, straight talk, and a not-too-serious approach to life. As a result, there are no extra words, emotions, or thoughts—just power writing with explosive content. Sounds great, but there is a problem that the video and article pointed out. Audiences are tired of Whedonspeak.
To explain why, allow me to pivot to word processing. It used to be that the only fonts that a person could use were the ones built into the printer. This is because early computers could not display fonts graphically.
Now, fast computers and powerful software allow users to use any font imaginable. Cursive, bold, stylistic, funny… And with this new ability, users took full advantage. I recall resumes with over 20 fonts, business documents with five fonts in the first paragraph, and invitations with the most elegant but hard-to-read fonts the human mind can imagine.
The problem was that readers realized documents looked better with a single, boring font, which is why we now typically see everything written in Courier or New Times Roman. This font overuse was the same problem as Whedonspeak.
Audiences used to love snarky characters, bold statements, and making fun of everything. Until they didn’t. Now, Whedonspeak is box office poison.
What can I gain from this? A writer needs to understand their audience. Granted, I am not a scriptwriter. (A story 100% driven by dialogue? WAY too complicated.) But learning about Whedonspeak provides another tool in my writing toolbox.
How will I use it? I do not favor ultra-bold characters because they do not read realistically. I prefer it when average people are thrust into big situations, which forces them to rise to the occasion. Thus, my characters do not need to make fun of their surroundings, insult people, or boast.
Still, I have bold scenes and significant events resulting in robust dialogue. The Reddit article revealed the good and bad aspects of Whedonspeak, and when I write, I will keep it in the back of my mind and out of my words. Like everything with great power, a light touch is required to be effective.
You’re the best -Bill
September 10, 2025
Besides entertainment, my main reason for watching is to learn how professionals deal with criticism. Specifically, I want to know what not to do. So, it was no surprise that I was interested in “Crash and Burn - The Joss Whedon Story.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Szy...
In case you are not familiar, Joss Whedon is a renowned director of popular movies and television shows. This includes one of my favorites, Firefly. I adore the writing, plot, acting, and premise of this incredible space opera. The people responsible for sacking this show should be locked up in the darkest prison for eternity.
Since that show ended, I have not followed Joss Whedon’s career too closely. It came as a surprise when The Critical Drinker’s video exposed his inappropriate behavior toward the actresses. I was unaware of his awful behavior and will be going out of my way to avoid any of his upcoming material. Thanks, Critical Drinker, for the exposure.
Yet, that is not why I am writing this article. The video identified something called “Whedonspeak,” also known as Whedon Dialogue, Whedonisms, or Buffy Speak. I had no idea what this was and learned more in this excellent Reddit article:
https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRan...
Joss Whedon has a distinct dialogue style; each spoken line stands out with quips, puns, ridicule, tricks, straight talk, and a not-too-serious approach to life. As a result, there are no extra words, emotions, or thoughts—just power writing with explosive content. Sounds great, but there is a problem that the video and article pointed out. Audiences are tired of Whedonspeak.
To explain why, allow me to pivot to word processing. It used to be that the only fonts that a person could use were the ones built into the printer. This is because early computers could not display fonts graphically.
Now, fast computers and powerful software allow users to use any font imaginable. Cursive, bold, stylistic, funny… And with this new ability, users took full advantage. I recall resumes with over 20 fonts, business documents with five fonts in the first paragraph, and invitations with the most elegant but hard-to-read fonts the human mind can imagine.
The problem was that readers realized documents looked better with a single, boring font, which is why we now typically see everything written in Courier or New Times Roman. This font overuse was the same problem as Whedonspeak.
Audiences used to love snarky characters, bold statements, and making fun of everything. Until they didn’t. Now, Whedonspeak is box office poison.
What can I gain from this? A writer needs to understand their audience. Granted, I am not a scriptwriter. (A story 100% driven by dialogue? WAY too complicated.) But learning about Whedonspeak provides another tool in my writing toolbox.
How will I use it? I do not favor ultra-bold characters because they do not read realistically. I prefer it when average people are thrust into big situations, which forces them to rise to the occasion. Thus, my characters do not need to make fun of their surroundings, insult people, or boast.
Still, I have bold scenes and significant events resulting in robust dialogue. The Reddit article revealed the good and bad aspects of Whedonspeak, and when I write, I will keep it in the back of my mind and out of my words. Like everything with great power, a light touch is required to be effective.
You’re the best -Bill
September 10, 2025
