Yasmine Cheyenne's Blog, page 2

Are You Full of Life? Or Full of Fear?

November 4, 2024 | Issue No. 4

I have been afraid of water for as long as I can remember. And this isn’t that unique, as most of us carry a deep fear that we hold close. The fear is so deep, we can’t even put our finger on where it began, we just know it’s roots exist in every part of our being.

I’ve had to face fear a lot recently. Whether it’s been through very scary health issues, parenting, or stepping into what I said I wanted for myself (aka growth) my fears have showed up over and over again. And every time fear shows up, it asks me the same question: Will you allow this fear to keep you from taking the next step?

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For most of my life the answer has been a resounding YES. Yes, I will allow this fear to keep me safe, and I will allow this fear to keep me small, and I will allow this fear to keep me from being exposed, and vulnerable, and overwhelmed. Because…life is already pretty scary sometimes, am I right? Like, I genuinely feel at capacity with fear most of the time.

But last year I had a shift. And it started with the water. I had a deep desire to enjoy swimming. My husband and my oldest daughter are great swimmers, and completely unafraid of the water. I watched them jump in and play all kinds of games, and I wanted to join so badly. But fear. No matter how many swim lessons I’d taken or the fact that I knew I could swim well enough to jump in and have a great time, I still wouldn’t take the step. I answered yes to fear again and again, succumbing to the fact that sometimes there are things we want to do with our lives, that we just can’t because we are made with a fear that makes it harder to choose to do the thing. I rationalized fear with all the right wellness lingo, and I believed my story fully.

But it wasn’t true. And whenever I was at a beach I still had that same desire and dream to go in. And so I was faced with the fear and the truth. The fear, that said I was not made to do the very thing that truth told me I really wanted to do.

In life, we’re met with fear often. Sometimes it’s fully justified fear because of experiences we’ve had that hurt. And other times we haven’t even had a negative experience, but our fear is trying to protect us from the potential of being hurt. We do this with romantic relationships, jobs, moving homes - so many things. And we make excuses. And we add to our stories and our fears with any belief or thought that we think we’ll need to convince ourselves that it’s true.

All in the name of protection.

But we aren’t keeping ourselves safe when we choose to not live fully. No matter how scary the next step may be.

And as I stood in the ocean, ankle deep at best, considering whether I was ready to face my fears, I knew that I didn’t want to carry my stories about the water any longer. Even if it was true that I wouldn’t like swimming, it would have to be because I gave it an actual try. Not because of a fear.

It’s probably not normal to go from fear of the ocean to surfing, but that was my experience and honestly I’m so grateful because, there is nothing like riding a wave. I’d never even been underwater in the ocean before, and there I was, on a board, riding a wave and feeling free, feeling strong, and feeling…like a kid. I hadn’t had that much fun in years. I hadn’t smiled that big in years. And then came the tears. Tears for what felt like lost time, tears for all the time I could still have, tears of joy because I was having the best time. Tears for things I’ll never know because it’s just part of the language of the ocean. Salt water.

I don’t even remember what my fear of the water was. I don’t remember the story I was telling myself. I don’t remember the story I was telling others. I don’t remember because I don’t believe that it was ever true. I put the shield down. And opened myself up to a new reality.

And I’m wondering for you, are there any fears that you know you’re ready to put down? Are there any fears that you carry as protection that actually keep you from experiencing the fullness of your life? Are there any fears that you’ve inherited that don’t belong to you, and you’re ready to put down?

Fear is an instinctual protection that we all have to keep us safe and alert us when things are wrong, dangerous, or really need our attention. But, there are many things that we fear that we don’t need protection from. We just need to lean in and be comfortable being beginners. Learning. And Surrendering.

When we feel safe enough to lean in, we quiet our fears. And we step bravely into ourselves x

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Powerful Moments from the last month:

I had my first mammogram/ultrasound in October along with a Prenuvo scan, which is a full-body radiation free scan that can detect early cancer and give you so much information about your body. A big part of mental wellness that we often miss is our annual visits, and the stress that accumulates from being behind on them or from feeling like we don’t have time for them is real!

If you need to schedule your appointments, take this as a sign to do that now! And if you’re interested in a Prenuvo scan, Save some $ and learn more.

I have been drinking my tea and minding my business. And let me tell you, it is FREEING.

Even if you only do it for 15-20 minutes, I encourage you to find some time to drink your fave beverage outside. No phone (even though I did *quickly* take this photo lol), no distractions. I sat outside for 3 hours and only got up for the bathroom or to refill my tea. This creates a nervous system shift that is beautiful. Try and let me know!

As I shared, your girl really got brave and surfed. I will never be over how healing this was for every part of my body and for every little Yas that lives in me.

Yes to doing the scary things, and most importantly, having fun along the way.

I got to hike upstate NY this month and it was everything I needed to transition into Fall.

I hope you feel encouraged to explore what fear means to you. Maybe share your thoughts below? I’d love to hear it.

I’ll see you in the next newsletter, Dec 4. Chat soon xx

PS. I’m having a workshop in DC in a few weeks you don’t want to miss! GET YOUR TICKET

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I've Been Dreaming About My Exes Lately...

October 4, 2024 | Issue No. 3

I’ve been dreaming about my exes for the last month. And in my dreams, the worst parts of those relationships have been popping up, night after night, like little clouds of what in the hell were you thinking back then Yasmine?

A few months ago I decided to start keeping track of my dreams. I noticed that they were sharper, more vivid, and that I remembered them with detail like I’d just watched a movie. My dreams have always been this way, off and on, but lately I’ve been going through a deep healing season in my life, and so I felt inspired to record these colorful dreams in a journal for the first time. What I didn’t expect was the ex-file dreams to begin.

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There’s two things I’ve noticed each time these dreams occur. The first, is these dreams have resurfaced harsh moments where I would choose others over myself. I’d forgotten how my heart used to not be a priority to me or to those I chose to be in relationships with. In one dream I made excuses for an exes habitual lying. In another dream, I waited by the phone for a text from an ex who was supposed to pick me up and go with me to an important family event, only to receive a very last minute text that he had “something come up” as it would happen in real life. And in another dream, I watched myself devoted to someone who was simply not respectful.

The second thing I noticed about these dreams? I never woke up in panic or feeling like I’d just had a nightmare. So for me, that had to mean that I was subconsciously revisiting these parts of me as a gift. That it was showing up for me to witness, and let go.

Of course it’s easy to focus on the fact that I was dreaming of past folks I’m no longer with, and I could spend the next 12 newsletters analyzing who they were to me, and who they most definitely were not. But that is not where I’ll be putting my energy. I’d rather focus on who I was then, what that version of me needed then, and most importantly what I can give to that old part of me now.

And ultimately, that version of me deserve(d)(s) GRACE.

The same grace that I gave so willingly to every ex, or friend, or person who has straight up wronged me.

The same grace that I needed when I’ve told past stories and used words to describe myself that were harmful.

The same grace that we all deserve when looking at a version of ourselves who was willing to allow ourselves to be ignored, unseen, unloved, disrespected, and unheard.

We usually, or at least I know I have, look at old versions of ourselves and say…

“I was broken”

“I’m so ashamed of who I was back then”

“I could never be her”

“What was I thinking?”

“I was such a fool”

And we just throw these words and phrases around. And I don’t know why we aren’t more careful with our hearts. I don’t know why we don’t think those daggers we aim at ourselves won’t cut just as deeply as if they were coming from outside ourselves. We deserve softness too. And not just when we get it right!

For me, grace can sound like talking to your past self with healing words…

You were so in love that you were willing to wait for them to see you. But, I see you. I’m so glad you stopped waiting when you knew it was time to walk away. That’s the true testament of your heart, of your spirit. Of your knowing.

You really, really wanted everyone else to be wrong about that relationship. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out but, I’m glad you know that you really deserved something better.

I know that your worth was steeped in what others saw in you, and so it wouldn’t have occurred to you that working to change the way they treat you was not your work. You were not childish, you were not stupid, you were never a doormat. What you were was misinformed. What you were, was loving from hope rather than reality. We all learn this lesson in one way or another. This is just life. Not foolishness, not ignorance, just life.

I’m so grateful to revisit a version of myself through a dream world, constructed from a part of my mind that is keeping tabs on where I still need to open my heart and be loved by me.

I wonder for you, where are you needing to open your heart? Where are past versions of you due some grace?

How can you talk about those past versions of you with a sense of care, rather than a desire to discard any remnants of evidence that past you existed?

Here’s to giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Goodness knows, we’ve given it to everyone else. It’s about time we get it too, don’t you think? xx

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Moments from the last month that brought me so much joy:

In September, I held two workshops, and they were WONDERFUL! There was laughter, healing, breakthroughs! Y’all - I am so so grateful.

And guess what? Another workshop is happening in DC this November!

Grab your spot because the last workshop sold out quick :). GET YOUR TICKET

I LOVE making things from scratch, I always have. It’s a different kind of slowing down for me. I play music, I’m off my phone, and I’m just in the moment with the food and my family, who often pops in and out of the kitchen as I cook.

This month I very sporadically made some homemade pasta and it was so so so worth it. Even though I find the process pretty simple, because of the time that it takes, it feels special.

I’ve been taking photos on my daily walks, because I’m always amazed at how I can walk past the same space everyday and see it in a new light.

I’m in a space of recognizing how the small things really matter. The small things are actually the big things in our lives, especially the things we over look as normal.

What small things in your life are actually big things?

Lastly, I went to a wonderful event held by birthFUND last month that was beautiful. On any given day, if you ran into me, I’d be in yoga pants, hiking boots, and a t-shirt. But I love style so much and when it’s time to go somewhere, I see clothes as a moment of play.

What’s part of your every day life that feels like play for you?

Okay y’all, this is issue number THREE of this newsletter format, and I’ve gotten so much positive feedback. Thank you for the flexibility. Thank you for the love! I’m still thinking of ways to add to it and make it even more special.

So many new things coming in my world that I’ll share with you soon.

In the meantime, I hope you feel a little more curious, empowered, and hopeful.

I’ll see you in the next newsletter, Nov 4. Chat soon xx

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"This Year Is Not What I Hoped"

Is it just me, or has this year been A LOT!?

It’s always tough when you have plans for your year but instead find yourself dealing with problems that seem to overwhelm you and keep you from the version of yourself you want to be. Especially when these problems seem to drain you of your joy.

HERE’S WHAT I KNOW: while life is happening, we can have access to joy.

Is it easy? Not always. Is it doable? ABSOLUTELY and I’d be honored to teach you.

Click here to join me, Wednesday September 25 @ 5:30 pm for an intimate workshop at Lyle in Washington, DC.

We’ll have a beautiful guided meditation, journal prompts, discussions and more! Plus, there’s a dinner afterwards!

We’ll be surrendering, we’ll be choosing ourselves, and we’ll be claiming our joy!

Bring your friends and share with someone you know that needs this.

Yes we’re at the end of the year, but there’s still time to create space for your joy. Trust me when I tell you, I have been practicing and teaching this in my own life for years. And I can’t wait to share this with you.

See you soon! If you have any questions, reply and let me know xx

I Was Waiting on Life to Happen.

When a new movie or show is about to come out, you see it everywhere. Unapologetically, marketing dollars are spent ensuring that there are posters on the streets, commercials while you watch TV, and glimpses of the trailer while watching other movies. It’s also bound to be plastered all over social media, magazines, and newspapers with interviews and snippets of why you should watch the new movie the day it comes out.

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This marketing campaign is done to get you excited about what’s coming. It’s to get you talking about what’s coming. And for most people, this hype is all they need to get their butt into a seat at the theater and watch.

Somehow, I am the opposite. This marketing tells me “this movie/show is so special…it needs to be saved for a special time.” I store it away on my proverbial shelf for just the right moment and wait to watch. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t even know what or when “the right time to watch” is but I wait for it.

There are movies I’ve been wanting to watch for years and I still haven’t seen them because I’m waiting. And I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, and it kinda is, but there is nothing sweeter than when my imaginative checklist is met and I’ve realized today is the perfect time to watch said movie or series. I mean I just started watching Bridgerton last year, and let me tell you - the joy of being able to binge 2 seasons AND Queen Charlotte!? Unmatchable, lol.

And I never feel like I wasted any time waiting, in fact it feels absolutely kismet. Like it’s coming right into my life when I’m ready for it.

The way I choose to wait to watch movies or television shows, doesn’t really have a major impact on my day to day life. Life continues to life and I keep on doing all the things. But, if you take this same approach that I have with watching a new show and apply it to…a new partner, your finances, your dreams, or anything that you really want to do? Well, then we need to chat.

Because I want you to ask yourself why. Why are you waiting? Are you waiting for people to change, waiting for perfection? Are you waiting for a guarantee? Are you waiting for everything to be under control so you can finally go and live your life? Because if any of these are the reasons you’re waiting, I’m here to remind you that life isn’t waiting for you. Life is moving whether you take the steps or not.

And I TRULY believe what’s for us doesn’t miss us, that timing is everything, and all those other antidotes we carry in our back pocket to keep us feeling good about things we desired that didn’t turn out exactly as we hoped. But I also believe that we can (and do) get in our own way. And that’s a waste of energy.

I wish I could tell you that your waiting for the perfect moment to live the way you want is exactly the same as me waiting for the perfect time to enjoy a show. And there are perfectly good reasons to wait. Maybe you’re healing, maybe you’re not ready, and maybe you need to feel safe or secure to take the next steps. I get that.

But sometimes we’re waiting out of fear. And fear can become a hinderance that keeps us from the very things we want to bring in.

So, I encourage you to ask yourself why you’re waiting. And to go a bit further and ask yourself, if you’re afraid. And then, to go even further, and ask yourself: what do you need to be willing to go after whatever you desire, even if you’re scared?

What do you need to be willing to live a life where your desires and dreams get to come out of you and breathe. What do you need to be willing to move ahead even when those you love are committed to moving behind. What do you need to be willing to do the most loving thing we can do for ourselves, which is to live out loud. Remember, you are brave enough to live fully. You are brave enough to change your mind. You are brave enough to walk even when you’re unsure where you’ll land.

I can’t tell you how many times I thought it was up to me be to be ready, to be perfect, to be fixed. I can’t tell you how many times I thought my “brokenness” was in the way, when in reality I was never broken. But my beliefs about myself were. And the very shifting of those beliefs, the shifting of that deep-seeded fear, was what helped me remember who I really am. And I was brave enough to go for it.

You are brave enough to stop waiting and go for it too. xx

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Moments from the last month that brought me so much joy:

I just saw my most recent book, Wisdom of the Path, in bookstores for the first time this weekend! It is the most surreal experience to see your book on shelves and each time I’m truly grateful.

This is very where’s waldo of me, but do you spot it?

This is my view on my morning walk everyday. Each time I come close to the water, I think about something I want to “give” or surrender to the water (very Moana style lol) and I leave it there as I walk past. It’s a simple but powerful mindful moment that I love.

I just saw Inside Out 2 with my kids recently and I loved it for so many reasons. I loved that they were finding ways to name their emotions and not see them as scary or shameful. I loved that even though it was a children’s movie, it gave me a visual for emotions that was so touching and accurate. I shed tears watching this! I shared my two biggest lessons from this film on the clock app!

ps. Look at me not waiting a thousand years to watch a new movie! LOL!

While walking my dog the other day, I saw this sunset and literally gasped. This gelato-esq sky turned everything on the ground level the most beautiful hue. I don’t get to see sunsets or sunrises often, I’m usually hustling and bustling around to get my kids either up or in bed. So although not a huge moment, it felt pretty special.

Lastly, I filmed my first yoga series this month! I’ve taught before but never filmed it and it was quite exciting to do. Can’t wait to be able to share more.

I’m really enjoying this new format of my newsletter. It’s like a recap meets a check-in meets a message we all needed. Yes to changing what isn’t working x.

I hope you feel a little more curious, empowered, and hopeful.

I’ll see you in the next newsletter, Oct 4. Chat soon xx

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You Might Need a Break (I did)

The olympics tends to pull out two emotions in me. The first is a competitive “momager” kind of energy where I am loudly cheering on people I now wholeheartedly love and support based on the stories shared about them, and I’m rooting for them like we are siblings. The other is one of emotional relief when they finally get their reward after working so hard to get to where they are. I cry with them, for them, all of the above. I love the Olympics. And I love Snoop.

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But I’ve been drawn to Simone’s performance, as we all are, and watching what can happen when we do the uncomfortable thing, the unpopular thing: and take time off.

There will always be people who think that breaks are an admittance of laziness. There will always be people who struggle watching you rest, because they struggle with their own rest. Projection is a lot of folks first tool of choice to make themselves feel better, and we’ve got to be able to let their words, filled with untruths and personal problems, slide right off of us.

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to be exhausted to rest. You don’t have to fail to rest. You don’t need permission to rest. You don’t have to ask to rest. You don’t have to win to rest. You just must rest. You just get to rest.

It’s necessary.

As you know, my second book, Wisdom of the Path, came out in June and that tour was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I enjoyed each stop, I’m so grateful I got to do the tour stops, and also…it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I traveled to 9 different places in two weeks and sometimes I would land in a city, with no time to eat anything but a protein bar, drive directly to my first interview, head to the studios bathroom to do my makeup, run right into the interview, head to my hotel, then sleep before doing the whole thing again the next day. I was solo traveling ALL of the tour, catching meals by myself after most stops, something I 10/10 wouldn’t recommend. We can be really proud of ourselves for meeting our goals AND know that we need rest. We can be amazed at our ability to do what felt impossible and at the end, need a break.

I knew I would need a break after this tour before the tour even happened, because I am a recovering perfectionist. This means, if I didn’t plan a break, I would keep going. So instead I planned a few days off literally the day after my last scheduled tour stop, because I didn’t want to burn out. And even after I went back to work post break, wherever I could I leaned on finding moments of rest, moments away from my devices, moments where I didn’t have to do anything. Our mental health depends on it.

I used to think my superpower was being able to perform really well under immense stress. I have far too much practice at it. And yes, under pressure, if needed, I show up. But I gave up having that pressurized energy as my constant a long time ago. My superpower now is being able to advocate for what I need while meeting my goals. There are moments where we will work hard and there are moments where we need to be off.

That brings me to this newsletter. I originally set out to do a twice a week check-in with you guys, and honestly, I just don’t have the time. I want to have the time. But I don’t.

And I think we have to be honest with ourselves and others that our time is not infinite. As the one who writes these newsletters, finds the pictures I share, does all the things…I know this takes time. It sucks when you have an idea to do something and you want to bring it to fruition, but there’s only one of you and there’s only so much time. We have to choose where we’re going to spend our energy. And so, what I can commit to, is sending out a thoughtful, in-depth newsletter on the first Wednesday of every month. And being honest with others is also important, so I hope y’all understand. I also hope that this encourages you to think about where you may need to set a boundary or take a break.

Many of us, myself included, had to learn how to rest. All we ever knew was moving from one thing to the next, never slowing down. Until life forced us to slow down.

This tour was the first time that I chose to slow down before life, my body, or my energy had to quit on me first. I still felt the dip in energy on tour, but after tour ended and I took a break, the feeling of restoration came when usually, I’d keep working and instead of restoration I’d feel burn out. I want that for you too. I want you to feel restored.

With back to school around the corner, end of the fiscal year, election season, and the holidays - there are SO MANY THINGS happening that are grabbing our attention right now. Only you know what it is that you need a break from so that you can come back stronger than ever, with clarity, and most importantly so that your well-being is prioritized too.

Here are somethings I’ve been able to enjoy while incorporating rest into my life:

I’m a native New Yorker and I will never tire of the city. Ever. I feel myself get recharged the moment I step out of Penn Station. While on rest, I’ve prioritized long walks through my favorite neighborhoods and it’s such a gift.

For my sisters birthday, I gifted her these two books, both signed by the authors, and I knew they’d mean a lot to her based on what she wanted to bring into this season of her life. I’ve always loved gift giving, and I usually go big or go home, but lately I’ve moved toward intentional gift giving and how I can show the person I love that I love them, through the gift. Is it the cancer rising in me? Idk, but I love this season for me (and for my friends and family :). Gifting books that encourage rest? Here for it!

I drew this bunny because…I had the time to draw this bunny and I mean, if that’s not healing I really don’t know what is. When I say we get to rest, I mean we get to do the absolute small things that we always say we’re going to do but never make time to do because life gets wild. But make some space. Draw the bunny!

When I’m feeling creatively tapped in and rested, it always reflects in my kitchen as well. I absolutely LOVE to cook. I made the pita bread, tzatziki, and hummus from scratch and it was DIVINE. If cooking isn’t your thing, no worries, but maybe you love a decadent coffee or tea, maybe fancy mocktails are your thing, or perhaps it’s flavored water combos that get you going! Ultimately, when we take care of ourselves in the small ways, and slow down, it tends to spill over into other ways. And you don’t have to make pita from scratch BUT if whatever you’re spending that extra time on helps you feel creatively and physically nourished, win-win, no?

Lastly, I’ve been to the beach 5 times this year, and as a land-locked girlie, being at the beach feels like a healing disconnect in itself. There’s something about being near the water that drowns out everything else and I’m able to hear my thoughts in a different way. I also get on my Moana vibe and give all of my problems to the ocean, imagining them being taken away with each wave. I didn’t even read on the beach this year. I just rested.

After writing this, I just exhaled. I think exhaling is a mini form of rest, no? A release of energy. A surrender. Grateful is an understatement.

If you felt any connection to what I’ve shared, get curious. Ask yourself, what is in this for me?

I’ll see you in the next newsletter, Sept 4. Chat soon xx

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What Do You Need?

I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately. Because we are always getting caught up, moving from task to task, without stopping to ask ourselves what we need. And yes, we aren’t always able to give it to ourselves in the moment. But this simple question and check-in with ourselves is necessary.

Where do you need more fun?

Where do you crave more adventure?

Are you feeling tired?

Are you bored?

What do you need?

Take a moment and answer this question and then, find an accessible way to give it to yourself.

For example, if you need more sleep, you may not be able to take a nap right now. But can you get to bed earlier? If you need more fun, you may not be able to go on vacation, but can you have lunch with friends?

I’ll be talking a lot about our needs and how we can begin to give ourselves what we want on my book tour next week. If you need community, laughter, a moment for yourself? Come to a book stop near you.Also, ALL EVENTS ARE FREE :). All you need to bring is yourself (and some friends if you can), and get your book at the event x

BROOKLYN, NY: JUNE 10 at Barnes + Noble on Atlantic Ave

This conversation with Les Alfred of the Balanced Black Girl Podcast is going to be so good. Her questions are always brilliant and depthful…and you just don’t want to miss this!

CLICK HERE FOR BROOKLYN DETAILS

WASHINGTON, DC: JUNE 12 at Politics + Prose Wharf

So grateful I get to be in conversation with my good friend Glory, of Well-Read Black Girl, on this tour because she is a magnificent moderator. DC come through!

CLICK HERE FOR DC DETAILS

Los Angeles, CA: JUNE 14 at Vroman’s Pasadena

So excited to chat with Lizzy because her podcast conversations, on The Cool Mom Code Podcast, are incredible! We’re bringing that same energy to our LA stop!!

CLICK HERE FOR LA DETAILS

Miami, FL: JUNE 17 at Books + Books

Thrilled to be in conversation with my good friends, Barb + Michelle, of Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life on their stomping grounds! You know Barb + Michelle keep it compassionately real, so don’t miss this!

CLICK HERE FOR MIAMI DETAILS

I would love to see you all in real life, but if you can’t make a stop, there will be a virtual opportunity after the tour! ORDER YOUR COPY HERE and that’s all you’ll need to get in!

Chat with you all IRL soon :)

Yasmine

Gather with Yasmine Cheyenne is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Let's Meet Up IRL :)

TOUR TIME :)!!

I’m so thrilled to be going on a multi-city tour for Wisdom of the Path! Not only am I thrilled to have the most wonderful moderators, Passion Planner has partnered with me and every single person attending events in every city will be receiving a planner as a gift! So not only are we finding our Wisdom ….we’re also equipped with the planners to help us map everything out! Truly a pinch-me moment to be able to support you all in this way.

Come with ALL of your friends to the city closest to you! Get your book, get your planner, get some healing, and some hugs! I will be there at each event until they kick us out, LOL!

Also, ALL EVENTS ARE FREE :). All you need to bring is yourself (and some friends if you can), and get your book at the event x

BROOKLYN, NY: JUNE 10 at Barnes + Noble on Atlantic Ave

This conversation with Les Alfred of the Balanced Black Girl Podcast is going to be so good. Her questions are always brilliant and depthful…and you just don’t want to miss this!

CLICK HERE FOR BROOKLYN DETAILS

WASHINGTON, DC: JUNE 12 at Politics + Prose Wharf

So grateful I get to be in conversation with my good friend Glory, of Well-Read Black Girl, on this tour because she is a magnificent moderator. DC come through!

CLICK HERE FOR DC DETAILS

Los Angeles, CA: JUNE 14 at Vroman’s Pasadena

So excited to chat with Lizzy because her podcast conversations, on The Cool Mom Code Podcast, are incredible! We’re bringing that same energy to our LA stop!!

CLICK HERE FOR LA DETAILS

Miami, FL: JUNE 17 at Books + Books

Thrilled to be in conversation with my good friends, Barb + Michelle, of Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life on their stomping grounds! You know Barb + Michelle keep it compassionately real, so don’t miss this!

CLICK HERE FOR MIAMI DETAILS

I would love to see you all in real life, but if you can’t make a stop, there will be a virtual opportunity after the tour! ORDER YOUR COPY HERE and that’s all you’ll need to get in!

Chat with you all IRL soon :)

Yasmine

Gather with Yasmine Cheyenne is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

5 Ways Practicing Self-Compassion Heals

We know that being kind to ourselves is something we should do, but many of us don’t choose it as our knee jerk reaction to tough times.

In fact, compassion is such a hard thing for many of us to choose, I wrote a whole book about it.

Many of us were taught that beating ourselves up is a great way to self-motivate and we’ve confused the kind act of encouraging ourselves with judgement and harshness. There’s also a group of us who are simply repeating the same harsh words others have said to us without realizing how much damage it’s doing.

Self-compassion helps us extend ourselves grace when tough times arrive. It’s choosing to say to yourself “you did the best you can, it’ll be okay” versus “how could you do that, what’s wrong with you?”

It’s can be a tough, long road as we learn to change the way we talk to ourselves, I know for myself I’m still on that journey. Sometimes, in the thick of a mistake I’ve made that I’m beating myself up for, I don’t catch that I’m tearing myself up until I’m right in the middle of it. And that can be hard, because it makes you feel like it will never get better, but that’s not true.

The good news is that even in those moments of treating ourselves unkindly, we can learn to stop and give ourselves love. We learn to forgive ourselves for the harsh words. We’re able to come back to ourselves and say “Okay, I made a mistake and now I’m beating myself up for the mistake, but I’m human. It’s okay. Let’s slow down and see what I need.” I’ve accepted for myself, I might not be able to eliminate these moments of tearing myself up all together, but being able to stop it in it’s tracks and show myself well-deserved love is a HUGE win! We don’t have to take an all or nothing approach to healing.

Here are 5 Ways to Practice Self- Compassion

Write Letters of Forgiveness to Yourself

Talk candidly with yourself about how you always come from the best intentions and even in moments where you were hard on yourself, you thought you were doing your best. Forgive yourself for the ways that things didn’t work out the way you hoped they would.

Write Reminders to Yourself (where you can see them)

Those post-it notes on our mirror are more powerful than we think! Write a couple of reminders where you will see them everyday at work on in your bathroom. And a tip that works for me is changing them out often, because if I see the same one too many times, I start ignoring it.

Celebrate Yourself Often (even the little things)

Have a cup of tea in the middle of the day and drink it while people watching. Take the long walk home. Take a nap if you find the space or, buy your fancy pens! Yesterday a friend asked me to go on a mini field trip as a celebration to herself, and we went to a pen store and had THE BEST TIME. I don’t think we need to reward ourselves to enjoy life but why not turn some of the things you love into a reason to celebrate yourself? It really feels so good.

Treat Mistakes Like a Regular Occurrence.

Even though mistakes happen often, when they come up we stare at them in shock and disbelief. I believe this is what makes it so hard to accept, forgive and move on from the mistake itself, because we’re caught in the shock of “ how did I do this?” I think it’s fine to have our normal human reaction to things that suck, but I also think it’s important to ask ourselves what our lives could be like if we treated mistakes like they happened all the time because they do. And when we accept this part of life, I know for me, it lessened the shock value and thus lessened my tendency to act like all was failing and over.

Phone a Friend

Honestly thank goodness for our friends because they’re willing to remind us of who we are when we forget. Remembering that we don’t have to do healing alone has been the most important part for me. Calling a friend who then shares their mistakes, and reminds you that you are not alone is vulnerability and empathy at it’s best.

There are only 3 weeks until Wisdom of the Path is here and I know this book is going to remind so many of you, as it did me while writing it, to be kind to yourselves.

I really mean it when I say that I wrote the book that I needed for all of us! These past few months (and years actually) have had some BIG learning moments (that I talk about in the book), and I’ve been practicing what I preach y’all! It hasn’t been easy but I truly see the benefits in my life and relationships and I want this for all of us.

We’ve got this friends x

Chat soon,

Yasmine

Gather with Yasmine Cheyenne is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Wise Words: We Are Limitless

Want the podcast vibe? Listen to this newsletter, read by me, below x

Two years ago, I sat on Kailua beach in Hawaii, tracing the word limitless in the sand. I write about this in my new book, but I was exploring what it could feel like to live like I truly believed I was limitless. What would it feel like to surrender in the way the ocean does…

there would be flow

there would be crashing

it would require trust

but I’d be brought safely back to shore

no matter the storm

It was such a formative moment, and as a tattoo girlie, I went and got the reminder on my forearm that evening.

But you know what? I can still see where I limit what’s possible for me in my life.

Do you ever feel this way?

Like no matter how hard you work, or what you bring to the world, there’s still a part of you nervous that the “jig” will be up and you’ll have to come back to reality. A reality where your dreams may not exist. Where you are stuck where you are in this moment.

The thing is, I REFUSE to stop.

No matter the emotions that come up, no matter how loud my inner critic gets, I’ve decided that moving forward is the only option. It’s a declaration, a vow, a love letter to myself. To the world.

Limitless living doesn’t mean every single dream comes true. It doesn’t mean life is wrapped in a bow. And that sucks.

But even on the bumpiest journeys, I’ve found myself. I’ve picked bits and pieces of myself up and carried them to the next adventure, weaving together my lessons and wisdom for little me, my current self, and the future me I dream of being,

This is what Wisdom of the Path, invites us to do.

And ever since I wrote this book, I’ve been in deep exploration about the limits I carry and how moving through the world as if they don’t exist, creates space for something new.

What would your life be like without the limits you place on yourself?

What would your life be like if you stopped limiting your future based on your past?

What would your life be like, if despite your inner critic, you kept going?

Are you willing to give it a try? I hope so because we need the full you.

You deserve to live in your fullness. Even when everything is tough, you still get to show up as you. Why do we behave as if our circumstances mean we must be small?

I’m ready for the full you. I’m for the full me. Shall we?

Chat soon,

Yasmine

Gather with Yasmine Cheyenne is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

4 Weeks Away :)

We are FOUR WEEKS AWAY from Wisdom of the Path coming into the world, and honestly I can’t believe it.

A 4 city book tour where I get to hug + connect w/ all of you is around the corner

Having this book in all of your hands is going to be here before we know it!

I’m anxious, I’m excited, and I truly can’t wait. All the things!

If you’ve ever liked one of my posts, my podcast, or my newsletter: know that this book is going to be that x 1000.

I poured so much into this book to help you connect to your inner truth and wisdom.

Now is the perfect time to pre-order for you and if you can, buy for a friend too! Let’s heal together x

Pre-order a copy for yourself or someone you care deeply about. Pre-orders are important because they give retailers an idea of demand and help them make decisions about carrying a book in the first place. Get my book here:

Amazon | Apple Books | Barnes & Noble | Target | Bookshop | Books-A-Million | Powell’s | Politics and Prose | Lost City Books | McNally Jackson  

Mark the book “to read” on Goodreads.

Ask your local bookstore or library to carry the book.

If you’re in a book club, consider choosing the book for your June and Summer 2024 book club pick.

Already Pre-ordered? CLICK HERE to claim your bonus.

Chat soon,

Yasmine

Gather with Yasmine Cheyenne is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.