M.K. Sheehan's Blog, page 10

The Rule of Thirds

Whenever we are pursuing an important goal it is important to remember the rule of thirds. Olympians and their coaches use this measure to align their training schedule. The goal is to be sure we are applying enough pressure to succeed while avoiding injury and overwhelm. The key is to rest so that elite athletes may carry on rather than give up. The rule of thirds is is a growth strategy and progress check. It is not just for Olympians or athletes. The rule is this – as you pursue a goal, your path will typically follow this formula.

1/3 will be wonderful. You’re going to stick your landings and feel terrific. 

1/3 will be terrible. You’re going to make mistakes and feel like you’re not doing things properly.

1/3 will be fine. You’re moving ahead but don’t feel strongly either way.

What’s important is that you pay attention to how you’re feeling. If it feels great all the time maybe you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. Perhaps things are too easy and you’re not progressing. Maybe you’ve plateaued and you’re not pushing hard enough. 

If you feel terrible for more than a third of the time, maybe you’re pushing too hard. Maybe you need to rest or consider a different approach. Maybe there are several small steps you can take instead of the giant leap you are fixated on at that moment. Taking a break for recovery is a necessary and important component to long term success and goal attainment. 

Trust your experience and the rule of thirds to inform your decisions. If you feel terrible all the time or even just more than a third of the time, maybe you don’t want to be doing this. Is there another path that is calling to you to try? Maybe you love the sport but would be happier coaching. Maybe you love the field but want to try another area of expertise.

The final third will be relatively uneventful days. You feel good but not great and like you could do better but you’re not at your worst. These are good days too. The same applies as the other two thirds, if it’s too easy add some challenges and if it’s too challenging relieve some of that pressure. If you’re consistently moving forward there’s no reason why you should be swaying in any one direction for more than a third of the time. 

So take a deep breath and remember that the feeling is temporary. If you swing too far in any one direction it might be time for a change. Paying attention to how you feel helps you to know you’re on the right path. We all want to attain our goals and we pursue them doggedly. Just make sure that your labor is one of love. We do this work because we love it. Because it brings us joy, and because it connects us to our higher purpose. When you’re chasing a dream and aligned with your purpose the rule of thirds is a great tool that helps keep the balance. 

The post The Rule of Thirds appeared first on Meanings with MK.

Fall Rhythms + Natural Momentum

As we come to fall the natural rhythm of life is slowing down. The leaves are falling from the tree tops, squirrels and frantically harvesting and burying acorns and nuts for the long winter months. And it seems like around me the world is speeding up. School has started, we must gear up for the holidays. We have duties, obligations, and responsibilities. It is a lot and it is enough. I recently watched a Ted Talk, by Dr. Darria Long, on triaging your life.

The presentation was mainly about facing our challenges from a place of quiet confidence rather than angst or haste. In an emergency room minutes stretch and instead of reacting quickly what is called for is calm and intentional decision making. When I sprint from task to task attempting to get things done I find myself stretched thin. I get frustrated because as I move quickly – sending out a text – replies are pouring in before I can move on to the next task. Before you know an item that should only take a couple minutes has taken fifteen or twenty. Which leaves me scrambling to make up that time later. 

However, when I prioritize and move slowly I am not less productive. I am more intentional. I recently added the ability to subscribe to this blog – spoiler, I was my first subscriber. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe! As I viewed my post via email I noticed how longwinded I have a tendency to be. Writing out the same explanation several different ways. And while it is helpful to see different examples sometimes less is more. My point is better made with a few well written sentences than in paragraphs devoted to the same idea. 

This realization is hard won. I had to learn it before I could improve upon it. And as I write and learn, I promise this blog and all of my work will continue to improve. A big part of that growth is taking the time to rest and recover. The year is winding down and we are all preparing for winter. This next season reminds us that nothing blooms all year. We all need time to relax. 

And as our to do lists stretch longer I hope you’ll take the time to assess and consider what is important to you. What do you truly want to do and be a part of? There are so many opportunities for distraction. I hope you choose to take this fall as a change of your own season, an opportunity to move more intentionally and slowly, not only to be more impactful and effective in your work. But also because we are all worthy and deserving of rest. We do not need to be forever achieving or completing tasks to have value. Simply being is enough. Our value is intrinsic, it is not tangled up with our productivity. Let’s remember that and honor our natural rhythm, take it slow this fall. 

The post Fall Rhythms + Natural Momentum appeared first on Meanings with MK.

Friendsgiving

Our friends are packing up and making their ways to our home as I type. We started cooking last night and prepared all of the dishes in advance. I am about to pop downstairs to put out the appetizers. Everything else is warmed, the house is clean, and it’s time to get dressed. I am feeling this urge to wear clothes that are not for going out but for staying cozy at home. I suspect that I feel this way because I am finally spending time with people who feel like true friends. This Friendsgiving I am eager and excited but I am also calm and comfortable. 

Sharing my space with people who I like and admire feels good. We’re setting the tone for days to come – intentionally choosing our company, our relationships, and to honor ourselves before we honor obligations. It can be tricky this time of year!

The day has been wonderful and fulfilling. To be surrounded by those that mean the most to me and to share this time with them is invaluable. And I am grateful. It is a gift to have time for meditation that puts me in the exact right frame of mind and I am grateful for my partner who helps, leads, and loves with the purest and most beautiful heart. Although my children are full of excited and frenetic energy this afternoon they are also full of thoughtful gestures like reading together. If you’re wondering it’s, “The boy, the Mole, the Horse, and the Fox,” it is a perfect day for that book. If you haven’t yet, I hope you’ll read it!

It snowed this morning, my eldest put Christmas music on for the first time this season and we are about to have company over – I cannot wait. What a gift to be here and now, present and imperfect in this moment. I am sending my hugs and hopes that this season lands gently. That you enjoy everything as you wish and you honor yourself first. Celebrating the season however you see fit and in whatever way brings you contentment and joy.

The post Friendsgiving appeared first on Meanings with MK.

New Season New Goals

Today is one of those blissful days in the change of season. It is warmer than usual. The sun is shining brightly. There is a beautiful breeze wafting through our windows, allowing us to air out the house. How lovely to have this day to myself. I want so share some of the things that I am enjoying today in hopes that they serve you too. Maybe it will inspire you to do your own fall refresh and maybe create some new goals.

Journaling – Adding images, magazine cutouts or drawings, to the pages I have written but not filled the whole page. I am also looking to find where I have littered and sprinkled my ideas like fairy dust on the pages. I am getting ready for the new season. Part of that journey is writing down my goals and reflecting on the accomplishments that I have attained already.

Reflection – I want to try to begin my days with a bit of reading. Books inspire and uplift me. I am way too easily drawn in by inspirational pieces and well written books. I rush through them, eager to find out what happens next. It’s best to set a timer.

Meal Plan – I wrote down some recipes that I enjoy and don’t want to be without this winter. I recently found them floating around in the pictures on my phone. Recipes for seasonal favorites include: Cranberry Tea, that makes our house smell like Christmas. And Hungarian Goulash an incredibly simple, rich, and delicious meal that cooks for a long time. This meal fills our home with savory and cozy smells that warm you up even before you take a bite. The perfect hygge treat after a cold day of playing outside in the snow. I love collecting and preparing these simple delectable dishes. Foods and traditions that warm the spirit and the heart, make life so much richer.

Goal Refresh – I began a refresh of my vision board. I had planned to organize some magazine images I clipped with the intention of adding them to my vision board. The beauty of the vision board is that in addition to inspiration it also reminds me of how far I’ve come. I try to update the board annually with the goals I want to carry with me into the new year.

To make space for the new goals I have to remove those that I have already accomplished. It is always a delightful revelation when an image is ready to come down. I don’t throw these out. To preserve them, I gently cut them down and tape them into my journals. Including a small note reminds me why they are important. Once in the journal they continue to remind me of how far I have come. 

It feels so good to be moving forward. There are so many goals that I have been able to complete this year. I have worked hard to get where I am. And it is always nice to have a little time to reflect. I love to savor and celebrate these small moments. 

The post New Season New Goals appeared first on Meanings with MK.

How to Rebound from Disappointment

Today I am eating shortbread cookies from the Honolulu cookie company as I rebound from disappointment. The cookies are shaped like pineapples, dipped in white chocolate and coconut flakes. They are dainty and light, possibly the best cookies I have ever had. They are from a place that I have never been but long to visit. These cookies taste like sunshine, island breezes, bright flowers, crystal blue waters, and fresh air. They are the essence of escapism, made sweeter by the fact that they are a gift from someone who loves me and was thinking of me on their last trip to Hawaii. These are all joyful notes that are serving to put me into a better frame of mind. 

Today I will also purchase a couple of items that I have saved up for but have yet to buy. They are sitting in my cart and now is the moment. I need some joy and something happy to look forward to. I am going to give myself the gift of cozy winter gear and new drapes. These aren’t huge investments but they are investments in my own joy and happiness, both worthy and important. Whenever I face rejection I remind myself that my success or failure is not tied to my personal value or self.

I also hug my family extra tight and remind myself that some things have nothing to do with me. It helps to remind myself that the universe always has my best interest in mind. That which is meant for me I can’t screw up or loose. And those things not meant for me will pass me by, that is the nature of things. I just have to trust that this opportunity was not meant for me right now and that’s ok. 

I am learning to let go. Even though I am disappointed, I get to cuddle my kiddos, eat a good dinner, and get some rest. Today was a hard day but tomorrow will be better. I will get through this just as I have successfully gotten through every challenge I have faced up until now. I’ve got this, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I am going to fake it until I believe it. And even though today was hard, tomorrow will be easier. I just know it.

How do you rebound from disappointment? How are you more gentle or generous to yourself?

The post How to Rebound from Disappointment appeared first on Meanings with MK.

How to Carry Less Baggage

I surprised myself today. My plan was to organize my lists and dreams into a small pile that I might take it with me to Florida for a retreat with my college friends. We are planning lots of time to talk and have fun together. But also time to ourselves to plan, write, and strategize our next professional moves. I am looking forward to learning from these women. There is so much they bring to the table and I can’t wait to absorb all that I can from them and their experiences. 

My surprise came when I thought I had streamlined my pages of inspiration. Whenever I find inspiring images or ideas in a magazine I take them with me. Cutting and pasting ideas into a journal. Throughout the year I collect images and words that move me and when I feel inspired I cut them out. The plan was to bring these momentos with me to add to the conversation and my personal reflection.

The small pile of cutouts and plans is ONLY organized once, maybe twice annually. So when I tried to pull these scraps of paper together, the notebooks, and magazines quickly and easily filled my carry on. As I looked down at all of the ideas I made the executive decision to leave everything at home. I will build the new rather than repair the old. Today I will carry less baggage. These meaningful pieces that I have saved will be there in December when I’m ready to go through them. Until then, I am freeing myself of the obligation to carry them with me.

I find that this process can be helpful when I’m envisioning my future, to have pictures, words, or ideas that I wan tot remember. It can also be a burden, when we feel obligated or overcome by the sheer volume of exciting opportunities we might wish to partake in. It is cathartic to release yourself from responsibility. You don’t have to carry all of these things forward with you. For me these items only have value as long as they are serving my growth and happiness. If they become a distraction from the enjoyment of my life, they simply have to go.

Even though I was ready to dive deep into inspiration on this trip. I realize this process is a personal one. It is not done while chatting over hot beverages. Crafting my future is done in sanctuary. For me the sacred in between time of Christmas and New Years. Rather than be worried about this I accept it. I need to carry less baggage. I unpacked the paper scraps and filled my carryon with swimsuits, beach cover-ups, and sandals. We’re going to talk about big ideas – my inspiration will only grow – and what I need is less baggage when I come to the conversation.

How do you release yourself from feelings of obligation? Do you hold onto ideas that inspire you? How do you carry less baggage?

The post How to Carry Less Baggage appeared first on Meanings with MK.

Thursdaying: Holding Space For Ourselves

I am holding space for myself today. Usually the request to hold space is for someone else. An opportunity to communicate our care or let someone know we are thinking of them. I find it easy to hold space for others but rarely take the time to nurture and focus on myself. Therefore when I sense a feeling of risk or fear as I consider moving toward my goals, or plans, it catches my attention. That awareness reminds me I need to take some time to hold space and look inward. The time I use is what I call, “Thursdaying.”

I grew up in a loud home. Our house was full of siblings, friends, games, television, pets, and events. There was always something happening. In the summers we would visit our friends and sometimes spend weeks at each other’s houses. It was an opportunity for each of us to see how the other half lived. Also, a great opportunity for our parents to spend time together as a couple. Our houses were noticeably cleaner upon our return and our parents well rested.

One of the gifts of these trips was staying with my mother’s best friend and my, “Mom 2.” After several days of Spice Girls music video shoots, movie screenings, and play we were all usually pretty tired. But on this morning I happened to be up early. The other kiddos were still fast asleep, and while Dad 2 stayed home, Mom 2 took me to breakfast.

On the ride over Mom 2 made the rules clear. I was welcome to come, and she loved me very much, but she was going to sit alone. She would read her book and drink her coffee. She would buy breakfast but I would sit at my own table. We were not together. No adult had ever spoken to me like this before. It felt very grown up and direct. I promptly agreed. I was confident I could comport and handle myself at a coffeehouse, “alone.” 

It was a big change for me to be left to my own devices. And so I ordered my hot chocolate and blueberry scone and picked out my table. While my drink was prepared I took my time collecting various magazines and newspapers from the racks and counters. I had not known the rules before I left and therefore needed supplies. I picked a yellow wood table and parked myself, with my back to where Mom 2 sat maybe 10 feet away from me. That morning I ate, I drank, I read – it was heaven. 

It was Thursday and yet no one interrupted me. It was just the resonant noise of an early morning coffee shop. I did not need to rush anywhere or do anything. An independent woman, for the first time in my life. It was glorious. And that memory stuck. It has stayed, nestled in my heart all my life. 

Throughout my life I have enjoyed many more days like this – after all Thursday’s come every week. However, the value and the splendor of that first morning is a gift I savor. I was recently given another free Thursday. There was nowhere I needed to be and nothing that had to be done. I was free. So I popped by a local coffee shop, bought myself a lemonade and a macaroon. I sipped, I read – a book I brought with because I learned early the wisdom of being prepared – and delighted in the experience. I savored and admired the sun through the window, the morning light on the park across the street, the ambient conversations that filled the room around me.

As I sat in peaceful comfort, I remembered the beauty of my first coffeeshop morning and texted Mom 2 and set a date for a call. I need a refresher course in honoring myself and in keeping my heart whole and my spirit free. The time was a rekindling and a reminder of my priorities. It allowed me to refocus my attention on my own goals and making my own heart sing. To do that requires Thursdaying – making time for my own delight and unexpected treats. It means trusting myself to walk alone and to find a path. Taking the time to savor the sweetness of right now because after all, it is fleeting. 

On the drive home from that first coffeeshop visit I felt elated and free. I felt like the happiest and most authentic version of myself. I felt like me. And it was wonderful. I am forever grateful to Mom 2 for being my bonus mom and for giving me the gift of time to find and honor myself exactly as I am, exactly who I am, and to celebrate regular days. After all, everyone has Thursdays. 

The post Thursdaying: Holding Space For Ourselves appeared first on Meanings with MK.

Savor and Celebrate the Life We Have

Today I am thinking about creating the life I want. Having so many goals and projects in the works can sometimes feel overwhelming. I want to build and create while also making time to nurture relationships and live my life. I often check in on myself to be sure that I am not just accomplishing, completing, or “working,” rather than living. 

I don’t want to be distracted for the best times of my life and unfortunately that’s really easy to do. In a culture that glorifies “busy,” it’s easy to be consumed with productivity. We’re trying to make a home, raising kids, and all of it feels like it’s big and important. We’re sprinting through the seasons sometimes and it seems that no sooner is one task complete than there are five, or fifteen, more to fill it.

Remember Your Goals

What helps me to get out of the hamster wheel and see the big picture is reminding myself that all of this was once a dream. A beautiful home, a healthy family, a partner I love and admire – all of these were items on a wish list that I once imagined for myself. 

I distinctly remember a morning in Chicago, driving from my aunt’s apartment downtown back to my college dorm in Rodgers Park. Thinking I’d like to work in a city but have a country home where I raised my family and did my writing. I like the idea of being near a large metropolis while also distant from other people. A chateau or country estate sounded perfect to me.

Find Where You Are

Flash forward fifteen years and here we are in our country home, mouse problems and all. We’re savoring sunsets, active in our local community, and live in a small town where we know people and are known pretty much everywhere we go. It feels so comfortable and also magical that this life I imagined one morning in undergrad is here. I dreamt of this time and this place. Having imagined this moment in my life, now that I’m here I want to savor it. I want to cherish what I have while still pursuing what comes next. 

Savor & Celebrate Your Progress

For me savoring looks like a cup of tea and a long lunch with my partner. It looks like giving our dog some extra love and attention. Sitting in the sun and meditating so that I am fully present here and now. It feels like hyyge – making myself comfortable and writing to express my thoughts and process my emotions. It is being still and listening to my children as they drift off to sleep. Extra kisses on soft cheeks and all the snuggles I can possibly fit into a day. It is “one more minute,” of play when I can give it and boundaries when I cannot. And taking care of myself so that I am here for a very long time to savor and celebrate a long life. If you’re looking for some tools to find your own focal points there’s a great guide here.

Notice What Fills You and Follow It

This life is about creating spaces where I am comfortable, inspired, held and free. Finding a way to make every hope, wish, and dream I have come true because when I am building and growing, and reading good books I feel whole. Eating good foods and traveling, inspires me and stretches my wings. Learning new things fills me up and keeps me interested and engaged. I am forever looking forward to all of the good that is here now, and all of the wonderful that is yet to come.

With the fall winds upon us our windows and doors are blanketed in ladybugs. Every one that lands and stays, every one that I must pick up and place outside drenches me in good luck and positive thoughts. I am fortunate, blessed, grateful for all that I have and eager to see what comes next! 

How do you savor and celebrate life’s special moments? What times have been your favorites? What sacred dream are you pursuing now?

The post Savor and Celebrate the Life We Have appeared first on Meanings with MK.

A Simple Practice to Be Present

When feeling overwhelmed it is easy to look to social media for distraction. Rather than analyze if what I am feeling is anxiety, fear, or nervousness like most of us, I scroll. As I scroll I find several other items that grab my attention. Instead of just worrying about my own small problems, I am also worried about global warming, Ukraine, and if we have ingredients for vegan pasta. These are not solutions they are simply more tasks. Adding tasks to my plate when I am already feeling overwhelmed is not an answer. It is another problem.

It feels easier some days to be distracted. However, you’re not going to be able to hear your own voice when you are taking in so many other ideas. To help you process all of the thoughts rushing through your head, do the smallest thing you know to do first.

Instead of distracting myself I find that a yoga class can often help me get grounded again. When I am most chaotic inside, it helps to have a physical practice to focus my attention. There is nothing like a slow flow class where I am intentionally stretching to bring me into the present. I think things like, “I can do this better,” or, “Nope, too deep a stretch on that side.” Whatever the inner monologue is, it is no longer about the world outside. I am not fixing everything I am only focused on one thing. As I do this I am soothed and comforted.

Working backward from chaos and overwhelm into being present with and in myself is an intentional act. Yoga is what does it for me. How do you bring yourself back from chaos to comfort? What steps work best for you?

The post A Simple Practice to Be Present appeared first on Meanings with MK.

Manifesting a New Year

Our home has been littered with lady bugs this fall and so I have no doubt that luck and good fortune will find me in 2023. These sweet little omens seem to be showing that good luck will be beating down my door and crawling in through every crevice. Therefore this time is sacred and to be savored. Cheers to our 2nd Birthday AWritten! Here’s how I am manifesting a new year and what I hope to share with each of you on this site and in the world.

Goals

As I envision the year ahead and what I want more of in my life I am noticing patterns. This new year’s dreams are very focused on health, well-being, home, family, and travel. These are goals for my very real and current life. They are strategies of how to live joyfully, healthfully, fitfully, and authentically. These goals are about embracing family, building a close knit community, and engaging fully with life. 

Environment 

The year appears to be about rest and recovery. My focus is on creating spaces and environments that serve deeper care of self and family. The goal is to create convenience and useful spaces that support and serve our lives. This includes this space we share here – our virtual living room where we connect.

Methodology

The year will not be focused on accomplishments, though I am sure there will be many. Nor am I focusing on adventure or change – though both are inevitable. The focus for this new year is on savoring beauty, rest, natural wonders, delicious foods, and simple pleasures. 

I primarily envision this year in neutral colors though there are a couple bold choices that appeal to me as well. There is a lot of simple elegance and grace which feels both authentic and present – a goal worthy of pursuit. To create beauty, absorb and appreciate it in the natural world and in the creative endeavors of others. I want to appreciate what I have already without longing for what is to come.

Timing

There is a calling to shared love, and honesty. A welcoming of self and others to share in my life, hearth, and home. Together we grow, support and nurture health in our lives. Sharing gentle and generous wellbeing with family and friends. 

It is preparing so that when the appropriate moment arrives I am ready. I simply know that now is a time for comfort, serenity, and peace. My time feels as if it is finally stretching itself out and resting in the sun. I do not have so many obligations and responsibilities looming that I feel spread thin or unable to manage all of the demands on my time or energy. Honoring my own rhythm – working when it feels right, resting when that feels appropriate too. I am living in gentle respect for all things, the first of which is me.

Future State

I want you to feel care, elegance, and grace at every touchpoint and interaction. Making the conversion from visitor, to fan, to buyer, to evangelist seamless. I want to build relationships that feel like friendships and bonds that sustain the tests of time and turbulence – whatever that might be. A household name that is more like a friend, an aspiration, and an inspiration rather than a single item, book, or product. I want friends and strangers to feel welcomed, loved, accepted, appreciated. To feel held, free, and to have a reason to come back – as only true love can make us feel. 

I want you to know that in the background I am forever creating new material, exploring new topics, and learning all I can so that I may share my lessons learned with all of you. As we grow and plan for this space I am forever focusing on creating room for each of you to thrive here and in your own lives. 

How do you feel connected to this space? And how can our content that better serve you and your needs?

The post Manifesting a New Year appeared first on Meanings with MK.