Ann Davidman's Blog, page 8

Reacting to Others' Parenting Choices

I had a visceral reaction to this New York Times article "I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me?"

"'You’re all alone in the world, and have no one to help you.' He turned to my friends, dramatically interrupting their conversation. 'Do you know how terrible this woman’s life is? She’s all by herself!'

My friends managed to snort back their drinks, barely. 'But I’m fine,' I protested lightheartedly, hoping to return the discussion to writing. 'I’m quite enjoying myself.'

Just because someone’s life doesn’t look like yours and you are happy with your life doesn’t mean they don’t have a good life. What makes a good life is your relationship with yourself and with your life. No guarantees of a good life come from whether you:

have or don't have childrenhave or don't have petsorder extra glutendrive an electric caror grow your own food.

Sarcasm aside, you get my point.

I’m in my early 60s and spend regular time each week with my twin, 3-year-old great nieces. If I loved them more I’d be in the hospital for a heart attack. They take my breath away. I find them amazing and I give them everything I have in the 4 to 5 hours I spend with them each week. And yes, they try my nerves when their fearlessness goes full speed ahead but I still love them more and more.

But I don’t have to concern myself with their next meal, only the one I give them. I don’t have to concern myself with preschool or saving money for their health insurance. I don’t have to think about their clothes, just the jammies I get them into before they are picked up by their parents in the evening. I get to love them and love them and love them. It’s a privilege to spend time with them. It’s a privilege to love them. And they are only two of many nieces that I have boundless love for.

I do not have children because I decided not to pursue that path after it was clear it wasn’t going to work out the way I wanted it to. I never worried about regret because I was conscious and knew why I was making the decision I was making. The writer of this article, Glynnis, knows what she is doing. And if at 65 she wishes she had children--oh well. She will face it and grieve. Why does anyone care? It is of no consequence to you. Because of her rich and good life she will contribute more to society than another person who becomes a parent and wishes they hadn’t.

"If you're one of these people emotionally triggered by someone else's parenting choice, ask yourself if you have regrets about something or if there are decisions you made that you wished you hadn’t. You don’t know and cannot know if any particular person is going to be happy with their decision or not. It’s none of your business."

 

Knowing myself better now and with age and wisdom it is clear to me that I could not have done motherhood well. It would have taken everything out of me. It would have been difficult and come at the high cost of my relationship with myself and others. Not that I can see into the future but I can see into the past now. The day in and out of parenting is hard on a good day. That doesn’t mean one should not do it. It doesn’t mean that I could not have done right by my children but I count my blessings everyday that I did not have children.

My life could not be more rich (though I could use a bit more money) and my heart cannot withstand anymore love it has in it (though of course it is endless). My point is: My life is rich and wonderful and I do not have children.

People choose to become parents because of a myriad of reasons: they want to or because they don’t believe they have a choice or because they believe that is their path for whatever reason. But why does it matter so much to others uninvolved with the decision?

The obsession that people have about other people's choices is about their own fears or their own projections. If you're one of these people emotionally triggered by someone else's parenting choice, ask yourself if you have regrets about something or if there are decisions you made that you wished you hadn’t. You don’t know and cannot know if any particular person is going to be happy with their decision or not. It’s none of your business.

If someone makes a personal decision about their personal life that you don’t agree with, wish them well, move on and take a look at your own life. Either appreciate what you have or try to change what you don’t have. Let people live their life. And years later, if they have regrets, don't be the "I told you so" police. Instead, engage with them as you want people to engage with you: "How are you? How is your life? I hope it’s well."

Ann in The Washington Post Discusses the Child-Free Life

I had a wonderful conversation with Petula Dvorak of The Washington Post about why women are choosing not to have children. As a Motherhood Clarity Coach who has been helping women figure out whether or not to have children for 25 years, it's so encouraging to see this conversation FINALLY happening in the mainstream. A day after this article came out, the topic of childfree women was discussed on The View.

I fundamentally believe women should have the right to figure out the best choice for themselves, rather than be pressured by society. 

Here is one of my quotes from the Post article: “I think there is far more permission to choose a child-free life than there ever has been,” Davidman said. “There’s so much out there to help child-free women feel good about themselves, to not feel shamed.”

Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article: 

Courtesy of The Washington Post

The child-free life: Why so many American women are deciding not to have kids

by Petula Dvorak

Oh, come on, millennial women. Just look at us.

Frantic and apologizing, overwhelmed between staff meetings and gymnastics, shamed for bottle-feeding, booted for breast-feeding, passed over for promotions, denied on the day-care list — isn’t this what you’ve always dreamed of?

No thanks, they’re saying, to today’s lovely vision of motherhood. And in huge numbers.

The American birthrate is sinking: 3.8 million babies were born last year — the lowest number in three decades and down 2 percent from 2016, according to a new report by the National Center for Health Statistics.

It’s a decline that is alarming demographers and social scientists — many of them men who chart womb activity like the consumer price index or manufactured-goods sales.

If this keeps up, they fret, we may become like Japan, where adult diapers outsell baby diapers... (Click to continue reading.)

 Motherhood or childfree?

Discover which is right for you. Sign up for the next Online Motherhood Clarity Course to discover your heart's desire.

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"What Happens When You and Your Partner Feel Differently About Having Kids?": Ann Featured in HelloFlo Article

It was wonderful talking with Chanel Dubofsky of HelloFlo.com once again! I spoke to Chanel previously for her article about my Motherhood Clarity Course. 

This time around, we discussed what happens when partners have opposing thoughts about having kids, a topic I discuss in my blog "He Wants a Baby. I Don't."

What I stress for couples caught in this situation: Know thyself. You must explore and understand "why" you want what you want in order to share your desires with your partner. 

“The more you know yourself, the better. When you talk about this, you should come from a place where your certainty, even if you’re uncertain, comes from a place of consciousness, not reactivity.”

Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article: 

 

Courtesy HelloFlo.com

What Happens When You and Your Partner Feel Differently About Having Kids?

by Chanel Dubofsky

It doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.

When KC was 21, she started dating a man 6 years older than she was, who had had a vasectomy at age 25, before they met. “I have always wanted children,” she says. “But I wasn’t looking to have a child in my early 20s, so it was what it was for the moment, which made it fun and free.” As time went on, though, and she found herself realizing more about what she wanted from life, she knew it couldn’t continue. ” I started noticing how it bothered me, and ultimately tied me to someone else’s decision. I knew we couldn’t continue on the same path, that it was splitting.”

If you’re in a relationship with someone who wants kids, and you don’t, or the other way around, is a break up inevitable? How do you negotiate what seems like such a fundamental difference?

Ann Davidman is a marriage and family therapist and the co-creator of “Motherhood – Is It For Me?,” a 14 week course aimed at helping women decide whether or not they want to become parents. Davidman says that couples who differ on the subject of children aren’t necessarily doomed...(Click to continue reading.)

 

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Feel invisible on Mother's Day? I see you.

Dear Invisible Population,

I know you’re out there. I know you’re hiding, hoping that no one will find out that you don’t know if you want to be a mom or live a childfree life. I know you don’t want to experience shame one more time because you don’t know how to decide.

I know you’re out there. I want you to talk to someone about it. Tell someone that you trust that you don’t know what you want. Tell them that you want to share something with them that you feel bad about and you hope they’ll be able to respond with “It’s ok," or "It’s a personal decision and no one can tell you what’s right for you," or "Good for you for taking your time to figure out what’s best for you.”

I know you’re out there. I know you’re in pain. Please know that you’re not the only one in pain. I’ve heard so many of you tell me over the years how tortured you feel because you can’t make a decision one way or the other. You don’t know why you can’t decide; you feel there is something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you. There are real reasons through no fault of your own that you’re struggling.

I know you’re out there. I know you probably thought you’d know by now. Sometimes it happens that what you want becomes clear and sometimes it doesn’t. If you’ve been waiting for more than a year or two for the answer to come, and it hasn’t, then I would say that’s too long. There’s something in the way that’s keeping you away from knowing your inner truth. Even though it may feel like a mystery to you, there is a detailed road map to get you to that truth.

I know you’re out there. I know you just want to wake up one day and know what to do. You can wake up one day and decide to get help. Please stop trying to think your way out of this dilemma. There’s concrete help for you.

I know you’re out there. And I want you to know that you matter to me. I've been helping women like you for more than 25 years. I can help you. The book Motherhood-Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity that I co-authored with Denise L. Carlini is that road map you’re looking for.

I know you’re out there and I know you don’t want another Mother’s Day to go by where you feel invisible.

With deep respect,

Ann Davidman, Motherhood Clarity Mentor

© copyright 2018 Ann Davidman

Be Your Own Valentine

When considering whether to choose motherhood or a childfree life, it’s easy to get caught in the quagmire of mixing together what you want with how to navigate outside pressures. External pressures like career, money, partner, age, and internal pressures like fear of regret, fear of pregnancy, and the fear of how a child will change your life can make choosing seem impossible.

The way out of the quagmire is simple: Desire is the key out of the quagmire. Desire first; decision second. 
 
Give yourself the gift of desire this Valentine’s Day. Focus on what you want, not on what you’ll do. Go all out and put aside the pressures, the perceived realities, and the fears. I know it’s easier said than done. But when you think about what you’ve already faced in your life, I know you’re up for the challenge.
 
Forget about your age or that you haven’t yet found Ms. or Mr. Right or that you just don’t know what to do. This Valentine’s Day focus on loving yourself and valuing you and spend time with your desire only. Spend time not needing to make sense or be practical about this life-defining decision.
 
What do you want? What do you want to be able to want? Can you let yourself want and not go further than that? If not, what is in the way of just wanting for the sake of wanting?
 
The decision comes later. Mixing the two will keep you in the quagmire. They must be disconnected and explored separately.
 
Don’t let the pronatalism that Laura Carroll, author of The Baby Matrix, talks about so eloquently put you in a double bind. Don't let the pressures of society or religion or family of origin beliefs interfere in your exploration of desire. How can anyone outside of you know what is best for you? The answer: They can't.
 
I suggest for Valentine’s Day you do an exercise that my co-author Denise L. Carlini and I recommend in our book, Motherhood-Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity. Try this exercise to see if you can experience some internal freedom and be with what you want or want to want or just be okay asking the question with rhetorical curiosity: Do I want to be a mom? Do I want to raise a child or children? Do I want to contribute to the next generation?

Make a ritual out of putting aside the realities, the externals of your life along with your fears so that you can focus on your heart’s desire.

Exercise: Putting Aside Your Externals and Fears

Find a jar with a very tight lid in your kitchen or buy one and decorate it for this purpose. Have fun with it.

Write one internal fear on a strip of paper and place it in the jar.Continue doing this with each internal fear, and then with each external pressure. Include everything you want to put aside for now.Close that lid and put the jar away out of sight.Feel free to add to the jar during this process, putting it away and out of sight each time. This physical activity helps you move forward less encumbered.

Even though all of what you wrote down is important to you, now is not the time to entertain any of it. Discovering your desire is about you turning inward not looking outward.

So let yourself bathe in your wants and desires until there is clarity of what you want and why you want it. Then—and only then—look at what goes into the decision-making process. Your desire isn’t always the same as your decision, but in order to be able to consciously look at deciding, you have to know what you want and why you want it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

© 2018 Ann Davidman

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Britain's Daily Mail Features Ann, Denise, and "Motherhood" Book in Popular Article

We were thrilled to be featured in a DailyMail.com article asking "Is motherhood right for you?"

We were also thrilled by the response to the article: As of last week, the article had been shared 64 times and had 398 comments. The women of Europe have been fervently engaged in the conversation about motherhood choice for some time. Our goal is to champion this conversation so that women feel more choice and less pressure from an assumption that they should all become mothers.

Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article: 

 



























Is motherhood right for you? Experts reveal four steps to help every undecided woman discover if she REALLY wants children (and why you shouldn't worry about practicalities)

By SIOFRA BRENNAN FOR MAILONLINE

While fifty years ago there was an expectation that motherhood was a natural progression for women, starting a family is no longer a given for today's generation.

But if you're not fully certain whether or not you want to have children, how do you go about making such a major life choice?

It's the question tackled in a new book Motherhood, Is It For Me? by psychotherapists Detroit-born Denise L. Carlini - who was inspired by her own process of deciding she didn't want children - and San Francisco-based Ann Davidman, in which they present a 12-week programme of guided visualisations and self-exploration to hep women gain clarity. 

'We hoped that it would help women who were ambivalent to decide before their biological age limited their options,' Denise told Femail. 'We also wanted to "normalise" that this is a choice women will and can make.

Ann Davidman added that it's still considered something of a taboo for women to even question having children, as they believe it's something they're 'supposed' to do.

'Some won’t question it and won’t decide until it’s too late,' she explained. 'They wait it out until time has decided for them. The shame of not knowing or knowing that they want a childfree life is so great that it can get shoved underground so far that it’s not even a conscious thought.'   

Here Denise and Ann share the four key steps anyone should take to help them understand whether or not they really want children... (Click to continue reading.)

 

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Don't Wait for New Year's Resolutions: Start Answering the Motherhood Question NOW

Do you want to be a mom or add children to your family?

What do you want for you?

If you don’t know, do you want to know?

Is knowing your personal truth a priority for you?

If one of your New Year's resolutions is to decide the motherhood question, you can get started on it now, before December ends. Have it behind you by the first quarter of next year. There really is no need to wait another minute.

It’s also perfectly fine to say, “I’ll think about the motherhood question in a few years.” But if you want clarity about it, or you feel tortured by not knowing your personal answer, then you can get started today by signing up for the next Motherhood Clarity Course or buying the Motherhood: Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity so that you can work through a process at your own pace.

The writing exercise shown below appears in Week 9 of the 12-week program of Motherhood: Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity, but it’s useful to do at any time. Start it today. Prioritize this gift for yourself alongside all of the other gifts you're getting for others this season.

I invite you to value yourself and give yourself direction—gift yourself with good, solid attention from you. Even if you don’t make a clear decision about whether to choose motherhood or a childfree life, knowing your next step toward clarity will set you free from feeling overwhelmed, worried, and uncertain. Even if you already know that you don’t want to make a decision for a few years, you still have to know your desire before you can make a decision. Knowing what you want for you has to precede your decision. You can do that piece of the puzzle now. It’s never too soon to explore and uncover your desire. I can tell you with certainty that if you try to figure out your desire and your decision at the same time you will end up in gridlock feeling stuck.

I hope this year ends well and the new year begins well for you. Know that your struggle to figure out this important decision can end in a moment. As soon as you say to yourself, “I want help with this indecision,” you’ll immediately move in the direction of your truth—and there is freedom in truth.

Be Curious: Assignment for Week 9

(Excerpt from Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity)

As you do your assignments, keep in mind that they don’t need to be rational, nor do they need to be written in complete, linear sentences. Let your mind and heart free-associate while you let your pen or fingertips take you on an adventure. Unleash your unconscious and let it flow uncensored.

1. My Journal Entry

Imagine yourself one year into your future and see if you can get a real sense of being there. If it helps, close your eyes so you can sink into the picture more completely. Once you arrive, look back over the last twelve months, visualizing what pleased you. Don’t focus on disappointments or longings. Give yourself over to your imagination and focus on what delighted you during this fantasy year. Now describe your year-in-review. There are no shoulds in this writing assignment; if you need to tweak it to make it work for you, do so. It’s also fine to write in general terms when being precise doesn’t feel beneficial.

Below are five examples of what your journal entry might look like. Notice in each case the positive tone.

I love that we finally figured out our decision about children. We saw a couples’ therapist for a while and got help with having a more connected relationship. Our life together is better than ever. My career is taking off and I’m working toward developing myself so I can move into a management position. I know now what my next steps are. I am now happily pregnant, and we’ve decided not to learn the sex of the baby. I’m happily settling into my life without children, and the traveling I did this past year felt great. I’m caring less and less what other people think. It doesn’t feel bad anymore that I don’t know. I trust that my desire will become known to me in time. What matters most to me now is that I feel happy inside regardless of whether or not I have children.

When you’re ready, open your journal and begin writing.

Journal entry dated one year from today:

As I look back over the past year, I’m pleased to notice... 

Copyright © 2016 Ann Davidman

The Motherhood Clarity Course™ is based on the original Motherhood-Is It For Me?™ program :co-created in 1991 by Denise L. Carlini and Ann Davidman.

  Give YOURSELF the Gift of Clarity in the New Year

Resolve to end your motherhood indecision and sign up for the next Online Group Motherhood Clarity Course. Sign up by Dec. 20 and save $50. 

 



























 

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"When are you going to have kids?"~ 5 Tips on How to Respond As A Couple

Photo by Hermansyah on Unsplash

"When are you going to have kids?"

"When will I get grandchildren?"

"Are you EVER going to have kids?"

As the holidays approach, couples can come to dread questions about their current childfree state. Otherwise supportive and helpful loved ones can dig in with questions that can cause unnecessary pain, especially for couples disagreeing about whether they want children.

What if you didn’t have to dread these questions? The best way to minimize this stress is to have a plan in place to take care of yourself and each other. While it's tempting to tell these family members that it isn't any of their business, I believe grace over sarcasm and hostility is the way to go.

Here are a few tips to get you ready for the onslaught of questions, looks, or sideways comments.

1. Create a united front.

Decide together as a couple what the party line is going to be. Even if in reality the two of you are on different pages, don’t throw the other one under the bus. Don’t let another person make the problem be about your partner.

Your party line can be vague or specific, but make sure it can roll off your tongue easily. Keep it simple. Practice with each other so you can hear what it sounds like. If you're certain there’s going to be pressure or unwanted questions, you can head it all off at the pass with, “We have an announcement to make! We’re having our own private process about kids or no kids. We’ll let you know when we have clarity. We’d prefer if you don’t ask us about it.”

It’s also fine if you do want to discuss it with family members, but you’re not obligated. Parenthood is not a decision by jury.

2. Be respectful.

Yes, you can take the sarcastic route. I know how fun that can be! But you’ll survive better if you take the road of understanding and compassion. Understand that people are anxious in general, and if they’re unaware of their own anxiety, they’ll project it on to you. Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. Trust that your loved ones don't want to be mean or inconsiderate. People will often back pedal if they know they’ve offended you. If you receive an unwanted question here are some responses that might help:

“I know you want a grandchild. This is a very personal decision for us and we feel private about our process of making this decision. We’ll share our decision with you after we make one.”“I know you want us to have kids. I’m sorry it’s hard for you that we haven’t decided yet if it’s what we want.”“I know you think we’d be good parents and I know it’s hard for you that we haven’t decided.”3. And keep being respectful. It looks good on you.

Even with a compassionate and kind response, you still may get a reply back of:

“Well, you’re not getting any younger and neither am I.”“What are you waiting for—tick tock?”“You’re so good together. You’d make great parents.”“Don’t you just love how they are with the kids?…such a natural.”

Then, take a breath and repeat what you originally said. Repetition is the key, not escalation. Sometimes the same thing has to be said several times the exact same way, with calm and patience. At some point, you may have to walk away or go check the oven—not to put your head into it but to see if what’s cooking is done.

Certainly, sarcasm is an easy thing to fall into but it’s not sustainable and the sub-text of sarcasm will hurt you more than them in the long run. Curiosity, compassion and honesty will always be a better approach. It might feel unsatisfying initially but, in the end, you’ll be happy you took that approach.

4. Try changing the topic to be about them.

Ask them questions about their own parenthood choices:

“Why did you want kids or to be a parent?”“Why didn’t you have more kids?”“Why do you think your parents wanted children?”

Or you can redirect the discussion: “Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if the topic of having children was talked about and not assumed?” “Can you imagine being told as a child that not everyone is expected to have children? It’s something that you get to decide.”

If none of that works, then try, “What’s for dessert?”

5. Check in regularly with each other.

Be sure to ask each other how it’s going. “Have you been pinned into any corners or given any looks? Did you get any hurtful statements thrown at you?” Be a team. Check in with each other daily. When you’re around your family of origin it’s common to regress to feel like a child again and lose your sense of self. Remind each other that you’re there for one another.

One day children will grow up with the notion that being a parent or childfree is a personal choice. They’ll be taught that both are good choices and the message will be along the lines of:

“Motherhood, living a childfree life, or raising children is a choice. It’s a very personal decision and only you can know what’s true for you. One is not better than the other but one will be better for you.”

Happy Holidays!

© 2017 Ann Davidman

 Disagreeing with your partner about whether you want to become parents?

Check out this blog, "'He wants a baby. I don't.': Finding Common Ground When You and Your Partner Disagree About Becoming Parents", to discover a great exercise for talking about this difficult topic.

Also explore my Motherhood Clarity Course and Fatherhood Clarity Course for more help.

 

"I started the program in a very low, dark place."

Seeking Clarity: Interviews with Women Who Sought and Found Their Answer to the Motherhood Question

Photo by Lukas Neasi on Unsplash

Today, I continue the series, Seeking Clarity: Interviews with Women Who Sought and Found Their Answer to the Motherhood Question with a conversation with a client who says she began the program "in a very low, dark place." But, with the help of the program, was able to work through her desperation and depression to face issues she'd been struggling with. Ultimately, she decided that she does want to be a mother.

Please keep reading to learn more about her journey...

What did you enjoy or appreciate most about the Motherhood Clarity Course?

I appreciated that it was a timebound program, therapy with a goal. I appreciated that we had to truly explore "Me" in order to understand what I wanted in life. It was a Motherhood Clarity course but it was so much more. 

What’s the most important insight you gained by working through the program?

I learned that I truly wanted to be a mother. Not because I’m getting older and it’s the proper goal in life (so I was taught), or even that I rebelliously wanted to do it on my own in spite of others. The program helped me understand what it meant to be a parent and to understand the role of children in our lives, or rather our role in their lives. I was then able to really unpack how I felt about that and know with clarity that this is something that I sincerely wanted.

Is there anything you’d like me to know about your experience?

I started the program in a very low, dark place. I was feeling desperate and depressed and just wanted to give up on everything. This course helped me to work through a number of issues. Or rather, to see and face this issues so that I can work on them – insecurities, blame, disappointments, etc. To be honest, the writings were demanding and I just wasn’t in the mood most weeks with all the other responsibilities and time demands in my life. But the writings ended up providing so much value to me. I’m still regularly reading back through my journal to remind myself on discoveries I found along the way.

How do you feel today compared to 4 weeks ago when you completed the course?

I was on a high when the program ended and I’ve just been climbing from there! I am bursting with happiness. I have a newfound vigor for life and I have a stronger appreciation for everything – me, God, family, friends, life.

What is your next step at this point in your process?

I wrote a journal entry. A two-year plan I would like to follow. I’ll own a home within a year. Start having serious conversations with a fertility doctor in the new year. Pick a donor and start treatments by September 2018. I would like to be pregnant by Christmas 2018. This would be four attempts. And if things don’t go according to plans, that’s okay. And if I’m still not pregnant by Christmas, it would also be okay to keep trying. And all the while I will stop being closed off to living. I’ll date, travel, work, and just live my best life.

Would you recommend this course to others and why?

Absolutely! Inner reflection is immensely important. It’s so helpful to have someone caring and knowing to help guide you. I had a mess of thoughts, fears, doubts, and hang ups in my head. This program helped to organize and simplify and see things with clarity. 

What would you tell a woman who is struggling with not knowing or struggling to decide?

That it’s okay to not know. That she should definitely try the Motherhood Clarity Course!

© 2017 Ann Davidman

The Motherhood Clarity Course™ is based on the original Motherhood-Is it for me? ™ program created in 1991 by Denise L. Carlini and Ann Davidman.

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Ann Featured in BabyCenter.com Article "Is Parenthood For You?"

When people are exploring whether they want to be parents, or feel tortured by their indecision about parenthood, finding helpful resources can be really difficult. 

That's why I was thrilled years ago when BabyCenter.com contacted me and my co-author Denise L. Carlini for an article to help its readers discover "Is Parenthood For You?" 

BabyCenter.com reaches more than 45 million parents a month and is visited by 80 percent of new and expectant moms in the U.S. every month. With this kind of audience, it's wonderful that they're giving their readers an opportunity to ponder and question the life-changing decision of parenthood. Assuming that all women should become mothers is so often the media norm.

In the article, we provide questions to help a woman explore if she wants to be a mother. The article was recently updated to include information about our book Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity. 

Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article: 

 

Courtesy BabyCenter.com

Is Parenthood For You?

by Ann Bartz

The parenthood question: Yes or no?

For some people, it’s easy to answer the question "Is parenthood for you?" They've always imagined becoming a parent, they have their life set up the way they want it, and they're ready for it. Others wonder about it for years or need to do some serious wobbling before taking the plunge. Some just never have the urge to raise children.

Wherever you are on that spectrum, you can make a conscious decision about becoming a mother or father. And whether you're having trouble deciding if you want to have a child or are just wondering if you're ready to take on this lifelong project, we hope this article will help you get closer to a decision.

One thing's for sure: No one has to have kids. There’s no pressing reason to have them, other than your own hopes and dreams. It’s completely up to you to choose – or not choose – parenthood... (Click to continue reading.)

 

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