Lynn McLaughlin's Blog, page 8
December 13, 2019
"The Ms. Camay Show" Interview
Sitting down with host Ms. Camay to share how I moved into the role of advocate after my life took an extreme detour was fun! My memoir, "Steering Through It" shares powerful experiences after a life-threatening diagnosis. It includes the voices and perspectives of many of my family members. I ask questions, intentionally, so readers reflect on our own lives. Ms. Camay is kind, dedicated and works tirelessly to empower women. We connected on many different topics.
Enjoy the full interview. I hope you find connections!
November 14, 2019
Join me at one of these next two events – November 16th and 23rd! Hope to see you…
What does self-advocacy really mean to you? Join me at one of my next two events in Windsor and Tecumseh Ontario.
We all have crises in our lives, but how do we cope? What do we do to put ourselves in the driver’s seat?
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October 31, 2019
Farewell to the controlling mother!
Over a year…it has taken me over a year to connect the pieces of the puzzle and conclude that I almost ALWAYS needed to be in control as a parent. People around me chuckle at this revelation – why would that be a surprise? It’s part of who I am, and have always been. Fair enough. It’s exhausting, frustrating and what purpose does being in control really serve?
My children are now in their twenties, each following their own paths, each having successes and challenges. There was a time when we used choice to teach our children decision making skills. But who created the choices for them? You guessed it. I’m amazed watching each of them face things they have never been exposed to, and figuring them out. I do think that my controlling nature was a barrier to them in their teenage years. I won’t go back in time to say, “We should have…” or “We could have…”. If we only knew then what we know today (as the saying goes). But I can make a difference now, and in the future – for them, their children, my husband and those around me.
Today, my mantra is very different – when someone asks me what they should do about a particular problem in their lives, I listen. I ask questions. Do you have all the information you need? Is it the correct information? What are the pros and cons? What are some potential solutions? Should you take more time to think about this? A year ago, I would have blurted out what I thought the answer was. Who made me the master? I needed to be in control, to protect and direct them in the direction that I thought was right. Being in control was meeting my needs at the time, not theirs.
Our children need to maneuver through life with open minds, exploring all that the world has to offer them. They should be empowered in their youth, not held back by the protective shields we put up around them. Guiding them (not directing) lets them figure out what their heart is really telling them – who they really are. It also opens doors when they can consider all possibilities, even those that seem so far away – not restricted to those we ram down their throats.
I can’t change the past but I sure as heck can learn from it. It takes time to change not only habits, but our own thought patterns. I’m healthier, confident in their ability to thrive without my interference. I’m still biting my tongue on occasion and that’s OK because it means I’m catching myself.
I’d love to post some of your thoughts/ideas/suggestions or personal connections. Does this make any sense to you?
http://www.steeringthroughit.com
Lynn
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October 9, 2019
October 3, 2019
Silverton Audio Spotlight “Steering Through It” … Get Your Story On!
As an author, there are countless decisions to make before your book is launched. One of the most important is what platforms to use. In this world of craziness, many of us are listening to podcasts, music or books or watching movies … all to find some balance. It may be what grounds us during a long drive to and from work, or something we do to relax. I thought it ws important to offer an audiobook version of Steering Through It to meet that growing need. If this is something you are interested in, there are many ways to find what you are looking for, at minimal cost including Audible, Itunes, Google Play and Downpour.
If you follow me, you ‘ve already read about the journey to select the amazing narrator, Marnye-Young. It’s now time to thank Silvi, who graciously posted this spotlight. I love, “Get Your Story On”, because we all have a story, don’t we? Sylvi has encapsulated many voices through our social media platforms, interviews and podcast.
I hope you’ll check out this link and all that is has to offer. Proud to share that the audiobook version of Steering Through It won a recent award. Thank you for following and celebrating this community of readers, writers, survivors, family and friends.
https://silvertonaudio.com/2019/09/25/spotlight-steering-through-it/
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September 30, 2019
If I asked, “What is your number one priority in life, at this very moment in time?” what would be your answer?
I posted this question on my Twitter page and was not surprised by the number one response – 53% stated it was “my family”. I would have answered exactly the same way a few years ago, but not any longer.
Pardon? I don’t value my family as my number one priority? I wish it were that easy. When I was diagnosed with a brain tumour, do you think I could say that my family was #1? Of course I could, if I were living in a fantasy world. The tables had turned. Whether I wanted to be there for them or not, it really wasn’t a choice. My health immediately became OUR priority. I was blessed to have a family that wrapped around me and supported what I needed, every minute of every day. As we coped with the diagnosis, the medications, the medical opinions, craniotomy and…and… and… It went on and on. I could not drive, cook, cheer on my children during their sports events, meet a teacher, was easily confused when they spoke to me, lacked short and long- term memory. How in the world did they do it? My husband and three teenage children jumped into the roles of protectors, schedulers and chauffeurs. Bottom line – my health became THE priority for every single one of us.
Should that priority have changed as I recovered and stepped back into the role of mother and wife? Maybe, but it hasn’t. Without my health, I know I cannot be there for my family as I would want to be. I’ve seen the other side of the fence all too clearly. I will do anything within my power to never be thrown over it again, separated from those I cherish the most in my life.
It has become “normal” in this crazy society to leave the house first thing in the morning and juggle countless things every day. Why can’t we take 1/2 hour to ourselves? 1/2 hour to sit on a bench and enjoy the view and sounds of nature and those around us? 1/2 to close the door and enjoy time reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a comedy show? 1/2 hour to take a long bath listening to the music we love? 1/2 hour to regroup or take a walk! We deserve nothing less. Run, run, run. Really?
My health is my priority so I can be here for my family in every way possible, as long as possible. People talk about “balance” in their lives? What does that even mean? The definition is different for everyone. From my perspective, balance comes with time every day to focus on health – whether that is physical, emotional or spiritual. It shouldn’t be considered selfish, but expected.
Six years ago, my answer to the question would have been, “My family”. Not anymore. My family is my world but I can no longer take my health for granted. I’ll be here to meet, hold and love my grand babies – If I have anything to say about it!
“The present time has one advantage of every other – it is our own.” (Charles Caleb Colton)
https://www.amazon.ca/Steering-Through-Lynn-McLaughlin/dp/B07WDC5Z71
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September 16, 2019
Why? I asked myself this question repeatedly over the past week…
“Why?”
Over the past week, I have consciously asked myself this question. Why did I wave off the man behind me who honked because I wasn’t moving fast enough in the Tim Horton’s drive through? Why was I upset when my husband asked a simple question? Why, when I was out walking and came across a woman picking up debris on the greenway, did I not ask her name and thank her?
Asking myself, “Why” is all well and good, but stopping and reflecting on something that could have or should have happened does not change a thing. Or does it? It won’t change what happened in that moment, but could it alter our mindset and responses in the future? I think the power in reflection is that we CAN change what we do and how we respond to similar situations.
Perhaps next time someone honks at me because the line is moving too slowly, I smile at them rather than waving them off and purchase their beverage with a kind message. We can be proactive and send positive energy rather than perpetuate the negative. That’s exactly what I did in that particular situation. It also bothered me, for quite some time. Did he think by honking I was going to move faster? What was his real intent? What caused him to act in such a way? What stressors was he feeling in that moment? Why did I feed into it? I spent tons of energy kicking myself for what I did. Some may say that’s ridiculous because it was no big deal. Perhaps though, that energy in the future, will be celebratory because I rose above it.
http://www.steeringthroughit.com
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September 1, 2019
“Steering Through It” is an award winner for Non-Fiction Audiobook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition!
We are extremely proud to have received an honourable mention (one of three books recognized) for Non-Fiction Audiobook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition.
When I first published Steering Through It in December of 2017, it was in paperback and Ebook formats. I grappled with whether or not to make it available as an audiobook. Many authors and readers shared that listening to audiobooks was becoming a preference for many. Smart technology was coming to new homes, people wanted to listen to podcasts and books on long commutes to and from work, accessibility needs…
I began my research, reviewing websites and listening to the voices of many narrators from around the globe. I found Marnye Young and reached out to her to gather some information. When you connect with someone immediately, it makes an incredible difference in decision making and future work. I hired Marnye without question – blown away by her talent, compassion, energy and drive. https://www.facebook.com/marnyeyoungnarrator/
Over the course of several weeks, Marnye began to narrate our journey. This was no easy task, as there are at least 8 different “voices” in Steering Through It (my daughter, two sisters, father, brother, a neurosurgeon and a clinical psychologist to name many). She mastered not only the varying voices, but our Canadian “lingo” or dialect. In August of 2018, the audiobook version of Steering Through It was released through Silverton Agency (also a pleasure to work with). The book is now available on Audible, Itunes, Google Play and Downpour.
Congratulations to Marnye and Silverton Agency on the receipt of this award. It’s been a pleasure working with you – and who knows what the future will bring?
The post “Steering Through It” is an award winner for Non-Fiction Audiobook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition! appeared first on Steering Through It.
“Steering Through It” has received an Honourable Mention for Non-Fiction Audibook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition!
We are extremely proud to have received an honourable mention (one of three books recognized) for Non-Fiction Audiobook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition.
When I first published Steering Through It in December of 2017, it was in paperback and Ebook formats. I grappled with whether or not to make it available as an audiobook. Many authors and readers shared that listening to audiobooks was becoming a preference for many. Smart technology was coming to new homes, people wanted to listen to podcasts and books on long commutes to and from work, accessibility needs…
I began my research, reviewing websites and listening to the voices of many narrators from around the globe. I found Marnye Young and reached out to her to gather some information. When you connect with someone immediately, it makes an incredible difference in decision making and future work. I hired Marnye without question – blown away by her talent, compassion, energy and drive. https://www.facebook.com/marnyeyoungnarrator/
Over the course of several weeks, Marnye began to narrate our journey. This was no easy task, as there are at least 8 different “voices” in Steering Through It (my daughter, two sisters, father, brother, a neurosurgeon and a clinical psychologist to name many). She mastered not only the varying voices, but our Canadian “lingo” or dialect. In August of 2018, the audiobook version of Steering Through It was released through Silverton Agency (also a pleasure to work with). The book is now available on Audible, Itunes, Google Play and Downpour.
Congratulations to Marnye and Silverton Agency on the receipt of this award. It’s been a pleasure working with you – and who knows what the future will bring?
The post “Steering Through It” has received an Honourable Mention for Non-Fiction Audibook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 Competition! appeared first on Steering Through It.
August 28, 2019
What’s It All About Anyway?
“What’s It All About?”
Last week, my husband and I were on a highway in Maine, after a long road trip relocating our son to the east coast. We were heading for a two-day vacation in Boston. It was raining very hard and I was getting quite nervous, to the point of repeatedly asking my husband to slow down. He was in total control, an excellent driver, yet I was imposing my discomfort on him. I realized that it was me causing the stress between us in the truck, not to mention distracting him. I consciously decided to take my eyes off the road, trust him to do what he was doing so well, and focus on a Sudoku Puzzle. Talk about a difference! Being aware of what we bring into a situation can give us the power to change our mindset and the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Try it!
So what is it all about? How many times have we asked ourselves this question in our quest to understand our purpose in this life? My guess is much more frequently than we realize, but we don’t dig deep enough because the answers are not staring us in the face. They’re hard to find, even more difficult to understand sometimes. When tragedy strikes, what do we do with that? How do we grapple with the next question, “Why”? Our answers are moving targets, or so I have discovered. What I knew to be my self ten years ago is very different than the person I am today. Experiences teach us, or should, to consider things from a different perspective. Otherwise, will we grow and evolve to become the best person we can be? If we are stuck in our mindset from 10 years ago, is that healthy? Maybe it is for some who feel they have accomplished their goals and given all they have to offer. From my point of view, it’s not that easy.
My illness 6 years ago was quite frankly, the kick in the teeth I needed. I was giving to others, committed to my roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter and sibling. BUT so caught up in the whirlwind of “Gotta do it now”. That mindset almost cost me my life. I ignored symptoms. Other things were too important – the meetings, the phone calls, errands, cheering on my teenage children, planning schedules… you name it. Were some of those things important? Absolutely, but they should never have taken priority over my health. Even now, retired for almost one year (September 1st), and working part time, I have to take steps back and ask, “Is this really what I need to be doing right now?”. Is this going to make a difference to anyone? Can my time be better spent giving, learning and growing as a person? We need to turn ourselves off, actually take time to reflect and consciously make decisions to not only lower our stress levels, but truly bring happiness to ourselves and others.
All the best of health and happiness to you and yours,
Lynn
Mindset – what does it matter?
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