Jane Jago's Blog, page 46

How To Speak Typo – Lesson 42

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

ahde (noun) – marsupial with a very short memory

blubbly (noun) – the colour of belly button fluff

borwn (verb) – to drone on endlessly about one’s prostate, or the bowls club, or any of the other preoccupations of men of a certain age

cahmring (noun) – cock ring for mechanical beloved

desret (noun) – what’s left on the sweet trolley by the time it gets to your table 

dulcking (noun) – monarch with little personal charm 

fukle (verb...

Drabblings – Decision

It was one of those moments when he knew whatever decision he made could affect the entirety of the rest of his life. 

This was it.

There was no way to avoid making a choice and no way to prevent the cascading consequences reaching down through the years ahead. He could be losing a chance at a lifetime of happiness or maybe committing to the first step of something that was doomed to fail.

For a moment that awareness paralysed him completely. Even his thoughts. Then he looked at the scr...

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV Advises on Adjectives

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV takes time from his immensely important life to proffer profound advice to those who still struggle on the aspirational slopes of authorhood…

Howdy y’all.

It is one. Your perspicacious pedagogue. Your towering tutor. Your world-travelling writer. Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV, author of the speculative fiction classic ‘Fatswhistle and Buchtooth’. Man of means. Man of moods.  Man of delicious madness (of which more later).

One is, needless to say, ba...

Dew

Dewdrops shyly shining
Reflect the early day
And spread a silver blanket
As we walk our weary way
When night becomes the morning
And ourselves are homeward bound
The dewdrops and the sunrise
In beauty wrap us round

©️jane jago 2024

The Easter Egg Hunt – XXV

Since Ben and Joss Beckett took over The Fair Maid and Falcon, they have had to deal with ghosts, gangsters and well dodgy goings-on. Despite that they have their own family of twin daughters and dogs, and a fabulous ‘found family’ of friends.

It was almost seven o’clock before the sound of small bare feet announced the arrival of Roz and Allie. They came quietly into the room, but seeing I was home ran to me bubbling joyously.
“Hello Mummy Beckett. We thought you might have gone back to work....

Dying to be Roman VII

Dying to be Roman  by Jane Jago and E.M. Swift-Hook is a whodunit set in an alternative modern day Britain where the Roman Empire still rules.

As they left their vehicle Julia stopped suddenly.
“You have to understand how I see it, Dai. My thinking is that this is something that could kill more people if we don’t act fast – Britons and Romans both.” Her expression was a taut mix of appeal and demand. “We know that three bodies turned up in the arena and no one saw anything and there was nothing...

The Secret Life of ‘Nomes – Tub

Though the biggers never see it, there is much going on in their own backyard where the ‘nomes make their home…

The gnomes were fascinated. What could the biggers be up to now? The builders arrived early one morning, they scrabbled and scrooged and poured liquid rock into a hole in the lawn. They set poles in the stuff and built an open-sided house in which they put a water pond. It was high and tall, and it made steam and bubbles.
There’s always one idiot around, and Harvey Gnome was it. He j...

How To Speak Typo – Lesson 41

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

a slong (noun) – Gaelic drinking song with obscene gestures

Anywa (proper noun) – less known sister of Pocahontas who kicked a certain young British officer in the balls when he tried it on with her

beeter (noun) – person who hits vegetables

blof (noun) – pre blog status when trying to construct witticisms

chater (noun) – to converse about one’s unfaithful spouse

earleir (noun) – aristocratic listening device

inc ase (noun) – tattoo...

Drabblings – Freedom?

Telling an entire story in just one hundred words…

“It must be a terrible place to live,” Oliver observed as the documentary went on, “I mean, having a social score based on who you’re friends with and what you buy, determining whether you can get a train ticket.”

Krista nodded agreement and finished leaving a bad rating for the delivery driver. He’d been five minutes late. Some pathetic excuse about traffic. “Just glad we live in the free West.” Her fit-watch vibrated and she sighed. “I’l...

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV – More Reflections Upon Travel

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV takes time from his immensely important life to proffer profound advice to those who still struggle on the aspirational slopes of authorhood…

Dear RWW,

San Francisco, that city by the bay. How the romance of it catches one by the throat, and how its skyline calls to one’s heart. One sits in a tiny bistro where a barista of exquisite coolness looks down her aristocratic nostrils at the assembled company and one sips hazelnut latte and masticates delicate ma...