Ranjit Kulkarni's Blog, page 34

Inverting Goals

Most of our business or success goals are self oriented. They are related to what we want. What if we could invert them? What if they are based on what others want?

This is not as idealistic as it sounds. Neither is it altruistic. Nor is it irrational. It is more rational and practical than self oriented success goals.

Why is that? It is because most success goals happen when something flows from other people. They end up happening due to something done by other people whether it’s clients or employees or anyone else. For that to happen, other people have to find something that makes them want to do that something. Other people find that something only when it helps them. This is possible only when you help them help themselves, and in turn help you. Hence setting these goals as self oriented doesn’t work.

Sounds a bit confusing, but it isn’t if you read it again.

Most of us don’t get this because we worry if that means we keep giving? We can’t get ourselves to invert.

This is more philosophical than most of us can practice. It takes true inversion and honesty. You should truly be focused on other people’s goals without any direct implication on your own goals. Otherwise other people can see through it. It won’t work.

But when it is truly inverted it does work. It takes surrender. It takes letting go of your success goals. It takes focusing on being of value. Or just being.

It is worth experimenting. Inverting Goals will invert your life.

Deficit of Trust

No one trusts anyone easily anymore. There are real reasons for it.

We don’t trust the celebrities telling us to buy things. They are being paid by the company. We don’t trust tweets and instagram posts. They are new ways of getting paid.

We never trusted salesmen and marketers. Now we suspect them. By default, we reject them.

We don’t trust news anymore. They are vying for our attention and have biases. Who knows who is paying whom and with what intention?

We don’t trust companies peddling products and services anymore. They are after our money.

We don’t trust service professions like doctors or hospitals or schools and colleges anymore. They are in business.

We don’t trust institutions like NGOs or social service or religious organizations and charitable trusts anymore. They want donations.

We don’t trust good altruistic acts anymore. We need proof. There must be some agenda.

So we Google.

We look for other people like us who don’t trust anyone. Have they trusted this one? Has this thing earned other people’s trust? Are the other people themselves trustworthy?

We evaluate. Till we suspect that maybe this too cannot be trusted.

Trust is the rarest of attributes. There is a deficit of trust. Trust can only be earned. If you can earn trust, you earn credibility.

Level Up

“One arm after the other, one pedal after another, and one foot in front of the other. For seven hours plus”.

That’s what Sam said when Jigneshbhai and I asked him how he managed to finish the Ironman triathlon. The arms for swimming 2 km, the pedals for cycling 90 km and the foot for running 21 km in the event called the ultimate test of human endurance. Sam, Swami’s personal trainer, had completed the event a couple of months back.

“It’s not as tough as it looks” Sam continued. “It’s a matter of Leveling Up.”

Sam made it sound easy. He truly believed it.

To make us believe it, he added “two years back, I didn’t know swimming.”

“All I did was to add a few metres everytime I trained for the past year and a half.”

The effects of a little progress every day are astonishing. We are tuned to making heroes out of sudden improvements. But the results of Leveling Up everyday over long periods are unbeatable.

Courage before Clarity

We demand clarity before taking any step. But before clarity, we need courage. Why courage? Because clarity just gives comfort to decisions we have already taken based on courage. If we haven’t taken the decision, we seek more clarity. It’s a mask.

“But with all the confusion about GDP growth and when the recovery will happen, and with markets near all-time highs, how are you saying continue investing?” Swami asked Jigneshbhai.

“If your horizon is over 10 years, all you need is some courage before more clarity” Jigneshbhai asserted.

This is true in areas beyond investing too. Not every decision is one of courage, but many are.

Whenever we ask for more clarity, beyond a point, it is a good indication of lack of courage.

Investors asking too many questions about economy, markets, companies and policies is a good sign that they don’t want to invest.

Employees asking too many questions about a job role or company or its future prospects is a good sign that they don’t want to take it up.

Prospective customers asking too many questions about a product or service, features and pricing is a good sign that they don’t want to buy it.

A need for clarity masks the underlying lack of courage.

We decide to do things first and then seek more clarity. When we seek clarity beyond a point, we have decided not to do it. Therefore Jigneshbhai was right.

We need more courage before we need more clarity.

Swami Protests

Swami decided to join a protest last weekend. He told me and Jigneshbhai that we are going to have coffee at a protest. But a doubt cropped up. “Is coffee allowed at a protest? Who’s going to get it for us?” Jigneshbhai and I had no idea. We had never been to any protest. “Let us go and find out” Swami said.

He did his research the previous day on all the ongoing protests in the city and gave us an address to reach the next day. Jigneshbhai and I got ready in the morning and decided to join Swami in his endeavor.

But when we reached the protest site it was confusing. There were a minimum of 4 protests there, perhaps more.

One of the protests was against CAA. Right next to it was one for CAA, though I don’t know how that can be called a protest as it was for something. It was a protest against the other protest, I thought. A few meters away was one which was not against CAA but against police brutality. So it was not against something (though I wasn’t sure if it was for it) and also against something else. I asked Jigneshbhai if such a mix can be called a protest. He ignored me. Next to it was a protest that was for CAA but against NRC. Again a similar mix of for and against, I pointed to Jigneshbhai. He ignored me again. Two buildings away was one that was for NRC and NPR.

I asked a person roaming with a placard what his protest was about. He told me he was protesting against government apathy and labor policies. The protester next to him protested. He pointed out at his placard and said “No, that is over there, this one is for government atrocity in Kashmir.”

There was even a small group protesting against Deepika Padukone’s latest movie.

I wasn’t sure where Swami stood on all these issues. Jigneshbhai and I did not have any idea. So we asked Swami, “Which one are we joining?” Swami looked embarrassed and gave us a signal to keep our voices down. “This is not a shopping mall” he came closer and whispered.

Finally after much deliberation, Swami decided that we should sit at a place that had some shade. “We won’t be troubled by the sun here” he confided. “Good idea, even in winter, afternoons are hot here” Jigneshbhai looked at me and, for once, agreed with Swami.

We settled down. I couldn’t hear the slogans in all the noise. After a while a press photographer came, and everyone shouted louder. Jigneshbhai, Swami and I also raised our hands when everyone raised them. Swami hoped our photos don’t appear in the papers tomorrow.

Around noon, Swami opened up his lunch box and gave us sandwiches. Jigneshbhai and I were pleased with our friend’s preparedness. But just as we picked up the sandwich, the person behind us tapped me on the shoulder and said “this is a hunger strike, you can’t have food here”.

Jigneshbhai and I kept the sandwich back grudgingly and gave Swami an annoyed look for choosing the wrong protest.

We sat hungrily for the rest of the afternoon. Mid-afternoon Jigneshbhai asked me whether coffee would be allowed. I thought of asking Swami or the activist behind me but thought it may not be wise.

Finally it was 4.30 in the evening. Someone came and gave a juice to the activist who was leading the protest. We did not get anything. That was a sign that the protest was over.

Swami and I got up and tapped on Jigneshbhai’s shoulder as he was snoring. His afternoon nap wasn’t disturbed despite the protesters. Swami and I wished we had this gift.

We rushed to the closest cafe and had our coffee and snacks. It had been a long tiring day.

Swami saw that some protesters were also having coffee and snacks at the same cafe. Jigneshbhai noticed that they were from different protest camps. All having coffee together. It was nice to see the camaraderie after the noisy protesting during the day.

Swami was keen to befriend some of them. “Who knows – such contacts can be useful in the future” he told us as he walked to the next table, while Jigneshbhai and I stayed put.

Swami asked both the activists who seemed to be from opposite camps what they stood for. Both of them said in unison “We stand for India”.

Structured Flexibility

Too much structure seems rigid. Too much flexibility gets nothing done.

For any endeavor where you want to change from a state of A to a state of B, there needs to be an adequate mix of structure and flexibility.

This applies to anything like improving health, inculcating a new habit like meditation, investing for a goal or even creative ones like writing a book.

Jigneshbhai told Swami “Decide and automate your investments so that you don’t give yourself a chance to change your mind.” When Swami revolted “but there are always unforeseen circumstances due to which I want to change my mind”, Jigneshbhai said, “leave some space to foresee the unforeseen, but only some.”

Even Sam told Swami the same. “The number of days you attend the gym in a month should be fixed. When you do it and what you do there is open. But attend you must.”

“Five days a week follow the recommended diet. Couple of days you can cheat. You decide which are which” he added.

Structured Flexibility is essentially a mind trick. We cannot trust our mind. It is an imposter. Sometimes a friend, often the enemy within. And difficult to say which role it is playing when.

When we provide structure, we are basically telling the mind to not tell us what to do everytime. It will still interfere but can be told to shut up. Then it can be cajoled with the flexibility, increasing the chances of sustained endeavor. Hence the mind trick.

Too much structure without flexibility may not work for us, but with too much flexibility without structure, we may not work.

Learning by Doing

Most people go online when they want to learn about something; Google being the starting and often the endpoint. Followed by YouTube, Udemy and the like if they want a deeper dive.

These sources make it easy to get information, knowledge and form an opinion. It is often shallow but sufficient for the moment. If it is a bit deeper it is forgotten over time. May provide some knowledge for a while, but not the best way to learn anything valuable and internalize it permanently.

The most internalized learning is the one learnt by doing. It applies to the most mundane to the most abstract learning.

Want to learn advanced excel or a new programming skill? Try doing it for a few days yourself.

Want to learn writing or painting? Try actually writing and painting for a few days.

Want to learn if direct stock or mutual fund investing is better? Try out both for a while and see what works for you.

Despite Jigneshbhai’s wise nuggets, Swami learnt what worked for him the most only after a few experiments with real money and is still learning.

Want to know if meditation and spirituality work? Try them out for 30 days and check it out for yourself.

Which works better – cardio or strength training? Which diet programs work? Try them for short periods and see for yourself.

In this way, the theory may be someone else’s but the experiences and conviction from the experiments are yours. The mind remembers them longer.

The lessons learnt are the final word for you, on what works for you, what doesn’t, as done by you. Learning by doing is the best way to learn anything.

But don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself when you want to learn about something next time.