Alexa Nichols's Blog, page 8

How I had my heart broken by a tiny pussy. 😭

So, I was over at Anne’s place (as I usually am) and went to go take out some trash (cause apparently slave). The second I stepped out the door this tiny black kitten bounded up to me out of nowhere and started rubbing against my legs. It was so tiny, y’all! I mean, like, tiny tiny. It was only a little bigger than my smartphone! It was even tinier than me! 😅 I wanted so badly to make it mine, or to at least feed it and take care of it for a while, but I knew if I did, I would end up taking it home and keeping it forever and my big brother unit would then calmly proceed to kill me.

It broke my heart to close the door on such a small, defenseless little thing. I hated it. It was all I could think about for the rest of the day. Life is so unfair sometimes!

I’ve had this problem with animals my entire life. I’ve brought so many animals home from the streets that it drove my big brother insane when we were growing up. Cats, dogs, pigeons (seriously), bugs of all types, small children (again, seriously), and so many others. I guess I just have a soft spot for animals. And midgets. I love me some midgets…

Writing all that kind of reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend of mine the other day, which I ended up sharing because it was interesting. It was about animal intelligence and language.

Think about it: animals are not that different than we are. They have their own language, societal rituals, and relationship hierarchies. A lot of people say animals don’t have languages, that they just make sounds, but language is, in its purest and most base form, simply sound recognition/interpretation – just as the written word is merely shape recognition/interpretation. All us earth-based creatures share the same propensities, so we really aren’t that different from one another.

Humans have a strange habit of disliking/hating something depending on how different it is than them. The more similar a creature/species is, the more it is trusted and liked. Which is why creatures like spiders and roaches are an anathema to most people: they are drastically different than us.

People fear what they don’t understand, and hate what they can’t conquer, ya know? A companion quote to that would be that both fear and hatred are birthed from ignorance; it is impossible to hate something you truly understand…

Anyway. Onto writing.

I’m excited! I finally finished the rough draft and red revision for the fifth book (Mike) in the Exitium Mundi series! I would have finished several weeks ago, but I kept coming up with tidbits to add that really fleshed out the story. I’m glad I did. The story is much better now than it was when I first outlined it.

Now all that’s left is the revision process. For those of you that don’t know my writing style (which means you’re probably not a member of my Patreon – what is wrong with you?! 😭), I always start by outlining a story, revising the outline, and then writing out the rough draft. After the rough draft, I put it through three stages of revisions, which I label red, yellow, and green.

After the green revision, I slam it through some grammar checks and punctuation corrections and then lob it at my Alpha Reader.

When my Alpha Reader is done giving me her two cents, I sling it over to my Better Reader Hit Squad.

When they’re done, I send it over to my editor and wait in absolute terror for her to get it back to me.

When she’s done, I go over everything, make sure I’m happy with how everything turned out, and start going about finalizing the book. As far as Mike goes, Friday I’ll be starting the yellow revision process. My revisions go fairly fast unless I have a slew of things to add – which I really don’t anymore.

I can’t wait for Friday…

Anyway, I think it’s time to start campaigning for another pet.

Wish me luck. 🐕

Bitch better have my money…

The theme of these past few days has been fighting with Amazon. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amazon, I really do, but sometimes they tend to get their wires crossed, and I just want to slap them. Everyone at the company. All at once. With extreme prejudice. Sometimes small things can take so long to get fixed it’s just infuriating, like how they apparently gave one of my books away for free – even though it wasn’t on sale or signed up for any type of promotion.

So, naturally, I reached out and asked them about the strange entries on my sales records. They wrote back quickly (for Amazon) and informed me that it was indeed an error on their part and that they fixed the free status of the book and they were very sorry.

I wrote them back, asking about the copies that were given away – would I be reimbursed for these? Their response was no. Since the customer didn’t pay for them, they couldn’t pay me, and they then proceeded to thank me for my understanding. Yeah, I didn’t understand. I wrote back.

I told them this was bull, and I expected better of them, and then basically started quoting Rihanna’s song “Bitch better have my money.” I received another apology letter where I was told they were sorry, but there is no money to give me since they weren’t paid for the freely given copies.

Guess what I did? I wrote them yet again. I asked for a supervisor. Once I got one, I explained the situation and started quoting Rihanna again, and in the end, they sent me the money I would have normally made from the sales.

I swear, for a while there I started feeling like 50 Cent. 😅

This wasn’t to be the last of my head-butting with Amazon, however. See, I didn’t know it at the time, but the paperback version of Naughty Professor was placed in incomplete status, which I only found out by randomly perusing through my catalog. Apparently, the problem was some minor imperfections with the cover, so I quickly corrected and resubmitted it.

Or so I thought.

To make a long story short, over the past few days we’ve been going back and forth with this damn cover, and I’ve been making tiny correction after tiny correction… of course, this might be because I’ve recently quit using their online cover creator and instead started making fancier, more aesthetically pleasing ones using GIMP. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, however, and my previous covers went through without a problem, so…

Oh yeah! I recently published the latest entry in my Writing 101 class: Part 6: The Jim Hat (aka, Wrapping It All Up; aka, The Final Version). If you haven’t checked it out, do so!

Now back to my Exitium Mundi series!

Damaged goods

A long time ago (December 15, 2018, to be exact) I posted an article to Patreon titled “Yes, I am damaged. Let me count the ways…” It was a deeply introspective piece about why I am so self-destructive with not only myself but my relationships as well. I didn’t write it to get attention (or help), I just needed to vent a bit and detour some people who really wanted to get closer to me than was wise. I figured if I warned them and showed them what they were in for, it would detour them a bit. It didn’t work, of course. Here’s a small excerpt from that article to give you an idea of what was written:



“I am a little bundle of contradiction, and I know it. I tend to drive the people closest to me insane, and only a handful are strong enough to stay the course and stay in my life anyway. Maybe one day I’ll find the person who can fix me, because I know in my heart that I am beyond the point of being able to fix myself…”



So yeah. Still true. All of it. Me in a nutshell. I know this is probably not the Alexa most of you are used to seeing – that Alexa is outgoing, warm, flirtatious, and a bit of a firecracker. And I am. All of those things. But there’s also another side of me, a darker side, which I try to cram deep within myself but that still tends to creep out in my stories and towards those unfortunate, unlucky bastards who really get to know me on a personal level.

Like my boyfriend, who some of you affectionately refer to as Dante.

He got to know me very well last night, and I don’t just mean in the carnal sense.

It started out innocently enough. We were joking about – you know what, to be honest, I can’t even remember exactly what we were joking about – inane, goofy stuff, basically. I was getting ready to come to bed, running around my place packing and generally just getting everything prepared to traverse to Anne’s in the morning (I have a package being delivered there) and, somehow, our playing turned into arguing. Which turned into a full-blown five-foot 100-pound bundle of fury in his face yelling at him, doing my best to destroy him mentally.

And I did. I actually brought him to tears.

I’m not proud of this. In fact, I’ve been struggling through the day trying to think about everything else – anything else – but have failed miserably. I would have rather he yelled back, stormed out, anything, except cry. And it was so strange to watch, because the only real male figure in my life is my big brother unit, and that dude never cries. Over anything. I love him so much, but there’s something deeply psychologically wrong with him to be that way.

Anyway, seeing Dante break down like that broke me down too. My anger quickly drained, and the words I spat at him began replaying in my mind. I was shocked at the level of hostility, hatred, and disrespect that I spewed towards him. I was also stunned at how naturally it all came out, how fluidly and quickly it slipped from my lips.

I am ashamed of myself. And I have no idea how to fix what I’m sure I’ve broken. I mean, I basically prostrated myself for forgiveness, and we had a long, deep discussion. He assured me that everything was OK, that things are always said out of anger that we don’t mean. I tried to be reassured by his words, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop asking myself if what he was saying was true. Isn’t anger (and alcohol, for that matter) a gateway to Truth?

Long story short, we made up. We even made love. But things feel different now… a bit more artificial. I hate it. I want things to go back to the way they were, the way they should be, but I have no idea how to make that happen.

Which is why I’m writing this entry – hell, why I started a Diary to begin with – to kind of rid myself of some of the emotional toxicity that seems to bubble within me. And it’s working. Sort of. I already feel better. A bit.

But this still doesn’t change who I am, and I still have no idea how to fix whatever it is that is making me act this way towards the people that I care about the most. Much like Trump vowing to cure cancer and eradicate AIDS if he gets re-elected (🙄), me being anything even resembling normal when it comes to relationships just seems like an impossibility to me.

My big brother unit says my passion, my tumultuousness, is what makes me a good writer, and he wouldn’t want me to be any other way, but… even if he’s right, is the cost worth it?

I dunno. I wish that bald over muscled ape-like motherf@&*er was here now and not a city away. I really needs me some J.C. hugs right about now. I apparently have a lot to think about tonight. Poor Anne. She may need therapy herself come morning. 😅

Anyway, sweet dreams, my beloveds.

Thank you for listening…

So I’m laying here naked…

So, I’m laying here in the bath (I’d post pics but since this entry is also going on my public Patreon feed I can’t 😭) thinking about my brother. Bet that got your attention. See, we had a conversation a few hours ago about problems that I’ve been having with a certain phallus-wielding biped I’ll just name “Dante,” and it got kind of interesting. Relationships can be bittersweet, especially when both of you want the same thing but Life keeps getting in the way. It’s what caused the breakup with my last partner (Rebecca) and what’s always driven a divide between the people I hold most dear and me.

See, my problem is my work ethic.

It’s a bit extreme.

Whether it be my real job, my writing, or my side projects, I like to keep myself occupied. I enjoy so many things that don’t really require other people: games (mainly computer, though recently that has been shot in the foot until I get my new tower), anime, manga, movies, (obviously) writing, reading, audiobooks, Netflix, Hulu, etc. Etc. Etc…

If I try not doing any of these things for too long (especially writing) I get testy, antsy, and eventually hostile. And then I start having nightmares. It’s like a strange creative buildup that begins to turn acidic if it isn’t released. Does that make any sense? Anyway, my big brother unit told me that most of my problems are mental (shocker there 😅) and that most of these are a matter of perspective. I told him he was full of shit (as a baby sister is legally obligated to do) and he responded by digging out a copy of We’re All Doing Time by Bo Lozoff, with a foreword by the Dalai Lama.

You should have seen the stink-eye I gave him when he handed it to me. I am highly skeptical of religious books and was stunned that my brother (who is about as Deist as they come) even had a copy. But, as many of you know, my brother is pretty much the love of my life, so I decided to trust his judgment and crack the book open.

My mind was fucking blown. I had to tear myself away from it.

And it really made me think.

Life is so short, and it’s filled with so much pain and drama – on the flip side, of course, it’s also filled with love and happiness. I was thinking about this when a simple, yet profound thought invaded my mind: Life isn’t filled with anything, all those feelings and experiences come from people.

People.

And then something else dawned on me: I hate mustard. With a fiery passion you would probably be shocked to witness. I dislike the taste so much that it literally angers me when it’s offered. 😅 Silly, I know, but true. What does mustard have to do with anything? Well. See, since I hate mustard so much, I don’t use it in my food. Following me so far? Life is a lot like a recipe, an organic, constantly changing recipe. And people are the ingredients. How your recipe (Life) tastes (feels) is almost entirely dictated by the ingredients (people) you allow in it.

So, in conclusion, just like when you cook, if something tastes off, check your ingredients and see what’s making it taste that way – and then correct your recipe. This revelation was a bit of a paradigm shift for me, and it’s given me a lot to think about. What people do I need to let go of in my life to make it better? What people shouldn’t have even been there to begin with?

As I wrote, I have a lot to think about…

Anyway, writing-wise, everything is going fantastic. I just finished Sera, the fourth entry in the seven-part Exitium Mundi series, and have already started drafting the fifth book, Mike. I’m actually thinking of maybe stepping away from the Exitium Mundi universe for one quick light-hearted story, because Sera kind of did a number on me. I dunno. Another part of me doesn’t want to give up my momentum…

I also approved the audiobook version of Erotic Urban Legends: Broken Wings for its final production – which means it should be publicly available soon!

And then there’s The Siren’s Song, which is now officially available for September 1, 2019 preorder! Of course, if you want to read it immediately, you can snag the paperback and have it within days. It’s a crazy kinky story that you should definitely check out. It has heavy Wiccan themes and is drenched in sex and romance. Mainly sex. 😅

Anyway, that’s all I have to report for now.

Be good to yourself.

And thank you for reading!

How I spent this past week…

Not doing a damn thing! Seriously, I just needed a break, a vacation from all the craziness of being an independent author / social media superstar (😆). More importantly, the people I love needed some Alexa time, and if I’m being completely honest, so did I. Want to know what I didn’t do? Write. Or get on social media. Or answer emails. Or anything else.

Well, that’s a bit of a lie.

I did hook up (not like that, pervert. I wish…) with Tera Patrick, who responded to my interview request and even blessed me by following me on Instagram. The interview will be on my Patreon and available to all tiers, as will a few other tidbits related to her. I can’t wait. So much fun. Tera’s an awesome chick, and she’s been my #1 favorite adult actress since I was a little(r) pervert. To be able to interview her was mind-blowing.

Now about my ass. 😅

Or, the area right beside my ass. See, I apparently played so much Skyrim during my off time that I somehow managed to pinch a nerve, and I’ve been walking around like a peg leg pirate ever since. (Much to Anne’s amusement, who keeps calling me Gimp and Limpy and reminds me of how easily she could whoop me now that I’m crippled whenever I innocently talk smack to her) Workouts are out the door until I heal, as are… other things of an exertive, physical nature…

Needless to say, with all this excess energy, I’ve been writing up a storm. 😅

ANYWAY!

I got me some good news, yo! The Secret Life of Miel is now an audiobook! And so is Girl Fight! Both are available on Audible now, and by the time you read this entry, they should also be on iTunes and Amazon. So yeah. Ballin’. You can also find samples of them on my SoundCloud page, in case you’re curious to hear what they sound like. I have some incredible narrators…

More importantly, I have the most incredible readers. I love you guys so much, and don’t think for one minute I don’t appreciate you. Because I do. Which is why I want to offer all of you a free audiobook code, good for any audiobook on Audible, regardless of author or price. Just message me on any of my social media accounts (or email, if you wish) before Monday, and I’ll shoot you one. No strings attached. Just because you’re awesome, you deserve it, and I love you so much for making me a part of your life.

Limit one code per person, of course. If for some reason you don’t know how to contact me, here is a list of my various social media accounts:



📧 Email: alexa.nichols.author@gmail.com

🤢 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlexaNichols...

🐤 Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexaNichols69

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexa.nicho...

💩 Tumblr: https://alexanicholsauthor.tumblr.com/

🖼 Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/alexanichol...

📚 Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...

❓ Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Alexa-N...

📑 Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/AlexaNic...

✍ WritersCafe: http://www.writerscafe.org/AlexaNichols

📖 LibraryThing: https://www.librarything.com/profile/...

🔊 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/alexa-nichols-...



I look forward to hearing from you. All you. As always, thank you for reading. You rock. ✊

R.I.P. God 😭

Give me your hand and let me take you back in time about a week. I want to show you how God died, and what killed it. It’s going to be a strange, painful journey, so brace yourself. It forever changed me, and it may well do the same to you. So, brace. And read on…

I had just finished working for the day. I’d written an obscene amount of verbiage, backed everything up like the good writer I am (😂 sorry, couldn’t keep a straight face), and settled back to play some Skyrim as I usually do after a long, hard day of digital ink-slinging.

I rebooted my computer to flush my memory.

I booted up Skyrim.

My laptop froze.

Like, dead froze. Like, nothing at all worked. I had to hard power that motherfucker off, wait for a bit, then power it back on. Only it didn’t get to Windows 10; instead, it went to a boot failure screen that I’ve never seen before. I immediately pulled out my smartphone and started Googling like a madwoman, trying to figure out what the hell happened, and followed the most reputable instructions I could find (a Microsoft employee from their website) to alleviate the issue.

Long story short: my hard drive flat out died. D-E-D. Dead.

This is how God died. (I named my laptop God when I first got it. My new tower – my first tower ever – is named Babel) Rest in peace, my beloved. Your life was over too soon. I was not ready.

In case you can’t tell, it’s been an interesting couple of weeks over here in the #Alexaverse.

On the writing side of things, things are a bit lighter, and I have a ton of news. Erotic Urban Legends: Broken Wings is available for August 1, 2019 preorder. The paperback is available for purchase now, and the audiobook version is currently being recorded by one of my favorite narrators: Robyn Isaacs (She’s the one who narrated Erotic Urban Legends: The Patchwork Girl). Also, the audiobook version of The Secret Life of Miel has been finalized, and we’re just waiting for Audible to approve it. And finally, the audiobook version of Girl Fight is complete! The narrator, the incomparable Sierra Kline, did an amazing job on it – all we’re waiting for now is Audible to approve the final product so it can go out for sale!

So much to be excited for. 🤗

Something not to be excited for? The current part of Exitium Mundi I’m writing. It’s titled Sera, and it’s getting harder and harder to finish. I mean, I’ve cranked out about 10,000 words these past four days, and while that looks good in print… see, part of the problem is that Sera is suicidal, and tends to cut herself. I based her off someone I knew in real life, someone I loved very dearly that isn’t with us anymore. The way Sera’s story ends is kind of dark, with a sliver of light interwoven within.

I’m not gonna lie: it’s hard as fuck to write, and I haven’t quite figured out how I want to wrap it up. Maybe I made it too personal. I keep going back and forth with so many psychological dynamics that I feel like I just need to get drunk and have at it. I dunno.

I remember now why drinking appealed to me so much. 😅 It seems to be the only time my mind calms, the only time I can truly relax and write things I normally wouldn’t be able to. I’m weird, I know, but you guys love me – you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t.

And I really, truly, and deeply appreciate that. Thank you. 💖

Lists, making my boyfriend come baby powder, and being an unknown on social media…

Recently Anne and I (because I can’t do shit by myself apparently 😁😭) decided enough was enough and set about to make some serious life changes. We brainstormed all the things that were hindering us and resolved to eventually stop each one. We knew better than to try and do this all at once, of course, but still – we wanted a roadmap, a battleplan. I recorded each of the things we came up with, and since this is my Diary, I’m listing them here. Here’s the list (so far):



🍟 Fast food

🍩 Junk food

🍺 Alcohol

😘 Sex



It’s a pretty serious list. For me, at least. For those of you who are wondering why I included sex, well… I’m kind of obsessed with it. Like, I think about it constantly, and my lover is basically to the point where he’s shooting out baby powder when he comes. Sex is great and all, but I seem to want it all the time, and, well, that isn’t healthy. Especially when I have other responsibilities that could better use that time.

So, I decided it was time to not stop it or anything (I would spontaneously combust after day two) but to put a lid on it, let the urges build (for both of us), and then explode in a firestorm of passion and sensuality.

My lovers down with it. Not that he has a choice or anything. 😂

Now about the no more alcohol part… this is the next hardest thing to stay diligent about. I can drink in moderation and everything, but honestly, I found myself wanting to drink all the time – so I figured it was time to go. Unfortunately, it seems like every movie we watch or every book I read has all kinds of alcoholism in it, so I feel like I’m going to swan dive off the wagon at any given moment. So, I decided to seclude my drinking to the occasional weekend, and my mind immediately started to rebel: But the weekend is only two days a week! And there are seven days in a week! That’s too short a time! At one point my brain was all like: Alcohol isn’t even all that bad! It’s basically a vegetable juice like V8! It comes from vegetables, right?! 🙄 Thoughts like these made me think: was I truly an alcoholic? I mean, I usually only drank during the weekends, and even then, it was limited to a few beers, but sometimes I’d throw in some midweek drinks and even the occasional Monday inebriation. Yeah, OK, maybe I was an alcoholic. So now I’m limiting myself to the weekends, regardless of what my brain says…

Now the fast food (which was getting ridiculously expensive) and the junk food (which was destroying my workouts) was easy in comparison and took almost no mental power to justify. My brain didn’t even try to fight on those two. It was all like: OK, yeah, we’ll give you those. They need to go.

My boyfriend unit is being mysteriously quite about the whole alcohol thing. When I ask him his opinion, he’s all like if that’s what you want to do. When I try and push him for a more straightforward answer, he changes the subject. Why do you motherfuckers do that, anyway? Wouldn’t be so much easier (and require far less energy) to simply talk to us??

Speaking of the boyfriend unit – he introduced me to something heavenly a few days ago: Hamburger Helper Spaghetti! This… this stuff here… is so amazing. I took my first bite, and I swear I came a little. So good. All he added was a little sharp cheddar cheese. The funny thing is, I don’t even like spaghetti that much – unlike Anne, who practically masturbates to it – so when he told me what he was going to make I immediately gave him the look. Because he knows I don’t like spaghetti, and he had the audacity to choose it on his day to cook.

I’m so glad he did.

Anyway.

Lately I’ve been really active on social media, which is kind of a rare thing for me – it dawned on me as I started getting random messages from longtime readers saying things like “I didn’t know you were on insert random social media network here!” or “How long have you been on…?!” that maybe I haven’t advertised my other social media networks that well. So. Here they be:



Email: alexa.nichols.author@gmail.com


Amazon: https://buff.ly/2CcMItU
Patreon: https://buff.ly/2G67dJu


Facebook: https://buff.ly/2yGzQNz
Twitter: https://buff.ly/2KbdOYn
Instagram: https://buff.ly/2CYYQyr
Tumblr: https://buff.ly/2KlQwex
Pinterest: https://buff.ly/2K6m6km
Goodreads: https://buff.ly/2IpeFiB
Quora: https://buff.ly/2FH2Hzf


Wattpad: https://buff.ly/2u4JqUZ
Writers Café: https://buff.ly/2CekOh0
LibraryThing: https://buff.ly/2u2v9Iu
Soundcloud: https://buff.ly/2usj16N


Pick your favorite and link me!

Oh, and before I go, if you are into Twitch, like RPG games, and have feels for the LGBTQ community, please check out my friends at ColorGuards – and tell them Alexa Nichols sent you. I might get stock options or something. 😜 Thanks. I appreciate it.

Why I almost bitch-slapped my boyfriend…

So I almost slapped the shit out of my boyfriend today. You may be wondering why. Then again, if you actually know me, you probably aren’t. For those of you that are wondering, the reason is simple: I sent my man a nood while he was at work. (Shocking, I know) To, you know, get his attention and to remind him of why he was coming over tonight. It was, I thought, a reasonably sexy and provocative picture. I awaited his response, which I assumed was going to be something along the lines of I can’t wait. I mean, isn’t that what most guys would respond with? Right?

Do you know what this motherfucker wrote?

“Who’s this?”

😳

Now let that sink in for a moment.

After the red faded from my vision, I sent another text asking how many other girls were out there sending him noods and what their names and addresses were so I could start beating some ass checklist style. And then I asked if there were so many bitches sending him noods that he could no longer tell them apart or something. I went on for a bit, each text more hostile than the previous until he finally stopped me mid-fume and called me.

Apparently, he was trying to say the picture didn’t look like me.

Oops. 😅

Aside from almost murdering my beau, I’ve been relatively productive. I placed Quickies: Cumpilation 3 up for July 1, 2019 preorder (if you’re impatient you can get the paperback now). I also published a new part of the Exitium Mundi story on Wattpad and Patreon, a story that I’m about halfway finished with. Online there are only a few parts posted, but on my hard drive, it sits at a little over 27,000 words. I’m trying to stay ahead of the weekly posting thing. I think I’m rocking it so far. 🤘 That being said, this whole weekly posting story thing is an interesting experiment, but I don’t think I’ll do it again. When all this is finished, I plan on releasing the books on Amazon and then compiling them, but that will be far in the future. Probably next year while I’m on vacation. I dunno.

Oh, in case you guys didn’t know, I’ve been trying to be active on Goodreads more lately, posting progress on the books I read and reviewing the books I finish. In case you’re interested in that sort of thing.

Anyway, time to immerse myself in some Skyrim. Or maybe Resident Evil 4…

Peeing in public…

Dear Diary,

So there I was: sitting on the public transit train, rocking my new Knuckles hat (thank you, John!), my feet propped up on the seat in front of me, being my typical little ole’ innocent self. Anne was chilling a few feet away in her wheelchair, jamming to her music, glaring at me occasionally because she thinks I’m the one text-bombing her pictures of horse penises. 😲

The train seemed to be moving extra slow. We were on our way to a doctor’s appointment to get her left foot checked out yet again, something that’s become a bit of a hobby lately.

And then this guy gets on. He stumbled through the door, obviously homeless, his odor pungent and clothing filthy. He plopped down in a seat a few feet away from me, and almost immediately several people covered their noses and moved away.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I have nothing against homeless people. Not only do I have several homeless friends, but for one long stretch of my life I was homeless myself, so I understand. Of course, atrocious hygiene and filthy clothes are not synonymous with homelessness – there are a plethora of institutions that deal with both daily that most homeless know about – so those attributes in this day and age are more or less a choice, not a given. So next time you encounter a homeless person asking for money for food, call bullshit – there are plenty of places that provide free food to the homeless that are easily accessible. I speak from experience. Trust me.

Anyway.

I know a lot of the homeless in the area where Anne lives, but I didn’t know this guy, and to his credit, he didn’t bother anyone – he just sat down and promptly passed out.

And then peed himself.

Voluminously.

You should have seen the reaction of the people on that train. You would have thought someone was shooting in that motherfucker. Childish as fuck. Someone apparently called the police, because at the next stop they rushed in there like they were the SWAT team and a drug deal going on. They yelled at the guy to get off the train, but he was apparently really out of it so didn’t respond. They shouted louder, and he groggily acknowledged them but refused to budge. It got ugly. Some of the people started laughing and snickering, which prompted me (being the social, polite person that you all know me to be) to yell out “What the fuck is wrong with you people?!” That got me a few ugly stares. But they stopped laughing.

The police finally managed to get this guy off the train (coincidentally, at the stop Anne and I got off at), and I stood and watched with my cell phone in hand, not trusting that this wasn’t going to turn ugly. Interestingly enough they were extremely polite to the guy. I say interestingly enough because I’ve seen several interactions with the police and the homeless in this area, and most of them did not end well for the homeless. They were either beaten, taken to jail, or both. Very rarely did one end peacefully, which is sad, because I know cops personally and they are not all bad people. The ones that tend to deal with the homeless, however…

Regardless I couldn’t just stand there all day, so Anne and I left for her appointment. For some reason though, that situation stuck in my mind all day, so much so that I barely got any work done while we were at the doctor. See, usually, I whip out my phone or tablet and do all manner of author-related things, but not today – my mind just wouldn’t let go of it all.

I guess seeing that man in that state reminded me of how I used to be, of where I came from, and how far I’ve come since then. My past isn’t pretty. If you’re a member of my Patreon, you know what I mean, but for the rest of you – if you knew half the things I’ve done or been through, most of you would probably see me very differently. But I’ve evolved, overcome, and even though I still have a long way to go, I know I’ve come a hell of a long way from where I started.

Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of that, especially when things get rough and you start doubting yourself because of childish and lifelong issues of insecurity. 😊

On the business side of things, I’ve finally placed the July 1, 2019 preorder for Quickies: Cumpilation Volume 3, and the paperback version (which I just completed and am waiting to be approved) should be available soon. As well as the audiobook. I’ll keep you guys posted.

Also: thank you for everyone that voted on my recent Twitter poll (https://twitter.com/AlexaNichols69/st...) about innocently talking smack to Anne and her giving me two options for punishment… 😉

Anyway, thank you for reading.

I’ll see you guys again soon…

#Love

#Always

#Alexa

Multiple personality disorder…

I have three exciting announcements to make, all of which I’ve been dying to share with you guys for a while now. Before I do, however, I want to touch on something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: having multiple pen names.

When I first started writing erotica, I didn’t see myself writing anything else. I figured anything I wanted to write that deviated from my more carnal inclinations I could just weave into my stories, which I have done on several occasions. Horror, fantasy, supernatural, etc. And it has been so much fun to do so.

However.

What happens when you want to write something non-erotic, something you want to be taken seriously by the world at large without the taint of having written erotica? Because trust me, motherfuckers are very judgmental when they find out you’ve written smut. It’s like everything else you write is viewed through the lens of your erotic writings, tainting it and making it somehow less-than.

It’s frustrating. Especially since sex is, well, the one universal common denominator. Everyone, despite religion, race, or creed, does it. Everyone wants to do it. Everyone thinks about it, enjoys it, and talks about it. Daily. And fuck does erotica sell! So why is writing about it considered so controversial? I mean, motherfuckers are obviously buying it. Reading it. Enjoying it. If anything, erotica should be celebrated. Held as the norm.

Anyway.

Because of this prejudice, I decided to create pen names to publish my other, more serious works. I also created one other erotica account to post content to when I finish something that isn’t quite as deep and involved as the stories I usually try to write.

Here lies the problem with having multiple pen names, however: managing them. 😳 Correspondences, promotions, the time investment necessary to advertise and engage with readers… It’s insane. How do some of you writers manage things such as this? What do you do? Any secrets? Tips?

Now on to the announcements I’ve been chomping at the bit to share:

Nephilim: Prisoner, is finally complete! And boy is it verbose. Currently it sits at approximately 70,000 words and is in the final stages of revisions. Soon I’ll be shooting it to my Beta Reader Hit Squad, and then my editor, and then to you guys! All of my Patreon subscribers will get it immediately, everyone else will have to wait a few months until I have a slot in my release schedule cleared. Which should be around July-ish. I can’t wait for you guys to read it… 🥰
Exitium Mundi, my Wattpad only project that leads into Nephilim: Daybreak, is now live! I’ll be releasing it in parts over time, but if you want to check it out now, you can do so here: https://www.wattpad.com/712768139-exi....
And now for the third announcement…

I’m taking next year, 2020, completely off. No writing, no engaging, nothing. Well, I’ll still be hanging out with my Patreon peeps, of course, but otherwise, I’ll be more or less off the grid. I just need a break, because writing along with a personal life and, of course, my day job is all an insane amount of fun to juggle. So enjoy me while you got me, yo. 😉 When I come back in 2021, it’s going to be insane…
Anyway, I know my posts have been sporadic as fuck this year, but I promise I’ll get back on the bandwagon ASAP and produce more content. I miss engaging with you guys and letting you know all the strange little things that have been happening in my life. I need an outlet, you know? I have too weird of a mind not to need some kind of a release. 😅

Anyway, thank you for reading.

Seriously.

I love you all.