Alexa Nichols's Blog, page 18

My assistant negotiates sex with her father’s penis! 😅

So, I started the most hilarious argument between Natalie and my big brother that went on far longer than it should have. 😅

See, I have a weird mind, (Shock, I know! 😳) and when I was younger, I used to always come up with creative yet twisted little hypothetical questions to throw them at my friends just to see what they would say. They loved it. So did I. I haven’t done it in a while, but when our little trio was watching The Originals on Netflix last night, I thought of one out of nowhere.

I paused the show and turned to Natalie. “I got a question. Far-fetched, but go along with it. Let’s say J.C. was in a car accident with your dad. Your dad was killed, but J.C. survived. Unfortunately, J.C.s penis didn’t, so they did an emergency transplant and used your fathers. Would you guys still have sex?”

Natalie’s eyes widened and without missing a beat responded, “Hell no!”

Which caused my brother to turn to her all stoic-like and ask if that meant they would never have sex again.

She looked at him with that same wide-eyed (and unblinking) expression and reminded him that it was her father’s penis.

My brother repeated his question.

The playful argument started, and I fell off the couch laughing. It was hilarious watching my brother rationalize and try to debate his way into her pants, and Natalie was just as resistant. He even tried to compromise.

“OK, what about oral sex?” My brother asked.

She refused.

“Handjobs?”

She said she would probably do that for him. I was dying. I couldn’t breathe. My life was flashing before my eyes and all that junk. They were negotiating sex with her father’s penis. It was too much.

“So, you would really jack off your father’s dick?” J.C. deadpanned with a hint of disgust in his voice.

I was literally rolling on the floor choke-laughing. I think I actually passed out a few times. I may have even peed myself a little. You should have seen how she jumped off the couch and starting rapid-fire shit-talking him. This went on for like 15 minutes. Best 15 minutes of the month!

If there really is a Heaven and Hell, I am definitely going to the later. 😅😭🙌

Such fun.

Anyway, I completely finished and compiled Knocking Up The MILF and the outline of The Siren’s Song, then had a brief conversation with the narrator of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden. She apparently really likes the story. Which is extremely flattering. Overall, it was a productive day, which is a good thing, because tomorrow and the day after I’m going to be running errands with Anne and won’t have much of a chance to write. I will be taking notes, however, so when I do sit down Friday and start cranking out verbiage again, it’s going down like a one-legged fat chick in a kickboxing competition.

I can’t wait.

Until tomorrow, my loves.

Stay weird. 😜

Hitting the ground running

It felt absolutely wondrous to jump back into the daily routine of writing. And I finished a lot of it, knocking out the yellow revision of Knocking Up The MILF, working on The Siren’s Song for a bit, and – finally – dived headfirst into Nephilim: Prisoner, the sequel to Nephilim: Daybreak. It felt so good to start it. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough so I can continue.

I also received some fantastic news from the narrator I hired to do the audiobook version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden. She just uploaded chapters 6,7, and 8, and is currently working on 9,10, and the epilogue now. Which means in the next day or two, she’ll be completely finished. 🙌

I can’t wait!

Also, if you’re a member of my Patreon and want to check out the rough draft of Voyeur Season 1, Episode 5, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18358393. While you’re there, you can also check out my recent post, “Why I don’t use publishing houses,” found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18359553.

Yes, I hit the ground running today!

Now if I can just quit sneezing uncontrollably, my day would be phenomenal! 😅

Until tomorrow, my loves…

Kinky mermaids…

I have this story I’ve been working on secretly for a while now that some of you may remember me talking about recently; what you may not know is that it’s my first ever attempt at a pure fantasy yarn with hardcore sexual elements. Not to mention a hot male/male/female (or MMM – male/male/mermaid?) relationship, something I’ve never written about. It’s hot, and my graphics team just finished the cover. The end result is this:



It’s actually finished, but I’m going to run it through my patented triple revision process just to make sure it’s exactly the way I want it. You guys know how neurotic I can be. 😅 After that? I’m giving it away to my Patreon subscribers, regardless of tier level, as a gift. It will be for sale on Amazon later next year, but they deserve things like this from time to time. 😊

Aside from the severe Tomb Raider/Skyrim-athon Anne and I subjected ourselves to today, there’s really not much to report.

Until tomorrow (bestie day!) …

Anne’s slayed vagina…

“OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina.”

It was that comment that almost ended my life today. 😅

It was just the way Anne said it; you had to have been there. Maybe I should explain just a bit. See, Anne has this habit of running around naked when its just us girls, but I had some business paperwork to sign so I had it delivered to my place. Which meant she had to get dressed.

And she was not happy about it.

And apparently, her pants were slaying her vagina the entire time.

It only took a few minutes, but the second he left she plopped down on the bed and started wiggling out of her pants like they were full of ants. After about three seconds she glared at me and went “OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina. Can you please help me get these off?!” like it was the most severe, crucial thing ever.

I almost died right there. It was beautiful.

Little things like that just make my day.

Writing-wise, I killed it, completely finishing and compiling Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (it’s scheduled to be released August 1st unless you’re a member of my Patreon, in which case you’ll be getting it free next month), getting about halfway through Knocking Up The MILF’s yellow revision, and laying the groundwork for some top-secret author stuff I’ll be announcing soon.

I’ll just say this for now: your girl is branching out!

My personal life, however, was nowhere near as impressive. I made plans to hang with the bestie Sunday, but other than that…boring. Well, with the small exception of Anne’s pants slaying her vagina. I’m not really complaining though. Dull days are nice sometimes. Especially for me, considering how crazy my life usually is.

I’m thinking about getting drunk tonight, I dunno. Drunk Skyrim sounds really appealing. And reading.

Until tomorrow, lov—



Liver: Wait a minute, wench. You promised no more drinking for the rest of the month.

Me: Prove it, motherfucker.

Liver: Fine. Let me check my texts… aaannnddd all my texts from you are gone.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: You deleted them when I was sleeping, didn’t you? Because you knew you were getting plastered tonight.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: I know you did. That’s fucked up. Does honesty mean nothing to you?

[smiling smugly]



Sucka.



Enjoy your weekend, loves.

I know I will.

The AlexaTrain 🚆

My bladder hates me. For some reason, it decided to wake me up last night every couple of hours, right as I was hitting REM. Which is a real problem, because my creativity, enthusiasm and overall quirkiness are all intrinsically tied to the amount of sleep I get.

So, you can guess how I’m feeling today. Tired. Unfocused. Hostile. Oh, and my periods early. So basically, fuck life. 😅

If you know me at all, you know that I’m exaggerating my attitude. One day of jagged sleep isn’t going to derail the AlexaTrain, believe me. Two won’t either. Three? I’m stabbing a motherfucker in the forehead. Drastic jump, I know, but this Diary is all about full disclosure, so whatever. 🔪

Despite my slightly fuzzy outlook, I managed to get a slew of author tasks knocked out, including adding more anime chicks to my website, finishing the yellow revision of Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (the season finale), getting halfway into the yellow revision of my upcoming Disney (🐭) exclusive Knocking Up The MILF, and completely finishing the rough draft of a story I’ve been keeping from everyone, The Siren’s Song. It’s fucking hot. Short, but hot. Like me! 🙌

I also posted something on my Patreon, titled My Daily Schedule, and you can check it out here as soon as you’re done reading this entry: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18282669.

Ugh. Just typing all that out makes me exhausted. I did a lot more today than I thought! 😅

Which is why I’m about to hit the shower and go to bed. I need to sleep. Badly. I don’t want to have a second day of sleeplessness, and no one wants me getting to day three. 🔪🗡🍴

Thank you for reading, loves. ❤

Pimping ain’t easy

Pimping ain’t easy, let me tell you. That’s kind of how I feel about the author game sometimes, especially on days like today where I seem to be knocking out an innumerable amount of non-writing author tasks. (Like replacing all the pictures in my Patreon tiers with anime chicks! 😅 I blame Selina. Seriously. It’s all her fault.) I just want to write! It’s like I’m more of a pimpstress than an author, and these responsibilities are cock-blocking my writing progress. There is so much behind the scenes work that goes on with being an independent, self-published word-slinger that it can be overwhelming at times, even for someone like me who practically breathes this shit.

If it wasn’t for my readers, my beloved Alexaliens®, I swear I would go batshit crazy. You guys make all this worth it, and make me continually strive to become a better, more versatile author. Which, of course, translates directly into sales.

It’s really a beautiful ecosystem.

As Natalie (my assistant/brother’s concubine) often tells me, “Give love, get love.”

But it’s more than that. I make my living doing this, and though I write erotica, I write in other genres too, and the lessons I learn from so many of you I carry over to my pen names in other genres as well.

I think my favorite rapper Tupac said what I’m trying to say best in his song Starin’ Through My Rear View:



“The world, the world is behind us

Once a motherfucker get an understanding on the game

and what the levels and the rules of the game is

then the world ain’t no trick no more

the world is a game to be played

so now we lookin’ at the world, from like, behind us

niggaz know what we gotta do, just gotta put our mind to it and do it

it’s all about the papers, money rule the world

bitches make the world go round

real niggaz do what they wanna do

bitch niggaz do what they can.”



True dat, Pac, true dat. 😍



I basically said all that to say this: I love you all. And I really mean it when I write that. I love you guys. I feel like I have a relationship with each of you, each different than the next, each delightful and fulfilling in its own unique way.

I know I have haters, but because of you guys, their voices are drowned out in a sea of love. You guys are like a protective wall, and something like that is invaluable, especially for someone like me. You have no idea.

Anyway, I better go. I have more words to smith. Thank you for reading.

Please don’t stop. 😊

Being a naked fidget spinner

I went to bed last night and was so restless that I probably resembled a fidget spinner as I twirled around on my bed, flipping through position after position trying to get comfortable. I was all over that motherfucker. Luckily, I was in bed alone. Otherwise, someone would have ended up on the floor. 😅 It was obvious to me after an hour that I wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep, so I decided to be productive and use my insomnia to my advantage.

So, I slithered my naked ass (naked comment inserted exclusively for Selina 😏) over to the computer, briefly browsed through my task list for the day, and then proceeded to merc the shit out of everything on it. Long story short? By 6AM, everything I had planned to do throughout the day was complete.

Highlights: I finished flushing out my account on LibraryThing, completed the rough draft of Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 5 (Though honestly, I’m not happy with it yet. But then, it is a rough draft.), finally triumphed over Amazon in the battle over the paperback cover of When Daddy Was Away, and completely finished and compiled Interview With A Werewolf, which will be released September 1st (Unless you happen to be Ronnie, the VIP Patreon who requested the story. He has it in his hands now. 😜)

And then fielded an interesting question that gave me a bit of a pause on Facebook. A reader messaged me telling me she was a fan of mine (I really hate that word) and was shocked when I responded and even talked to her for a bit. She said she had written to other celebrities in the past (I quickly corrected her. I am not a celebrity! 😅) and never received a response from any of them.

The question she asked me was why I was so receptive and responsive to people.

My knee-jerk answer was something akin to “Why wouldn’t I be?” but I stopped and decided to think a bit deeper before I responded. After contemplating for a bit, I replied:

“Because we have a society built on idolization, and it shouldn’t be. We’re all humans. Celebrity is a man-made concept, and as such has little intrinsic value. Basically, I’m approachable because I truly believe that I’m no one special – I’m just someone who loves to write. Period. The last thing I want is someone looking up to me or turning me into some sort of metahuman. Be your own role-model. If I’m not part of the solution, I’m indubitably part of the problem, ya know? 😊”

She apparently liked my answer. I’m glad. It was the truth.

Anyway, I’m going to bed early, loves.

I’ll see all of you in the morning.

Thank you for reading. 💖

Beautiful disaster

I dived out of bed seconds after waking up, ass naked, and ran out my bedroom door. I knew (hoped 😳) my brother was at work already, and for some reason, that motherfucker didn’t wake me up this morning like he usually does. Of course, this wouldn’t normally be a problem, but I forgot to set my alarm clock last night and had a slew of things to do, so sleeping in was the worst possible thing that could have happened.

But you know me. I’m rabidly focused when push comes to shove. I do my best work, become my most productive, when my back is against the wall.

So, after almost burning my left titty on a cup of coffee, I swan-dived into my task list, writing on Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 5 for over four hours (I’m on Act V, the last Act of the book!), tore through my tasks, wrestled with Amazon (still) over the cover of the paperback version of When Daddy Was Away, and even woman-handled some surprise complications that erupted along the way. Oh, and I socialized with quite a few of you on Twitter and Tumblr.

In short: I had a blast. And I even managed to do most of the things I needed to. My day could best be described as a beautiful disaster, with the emphasis on beautiful. I still have things to do, but I’ll knock those out immediately after this entry.

And then I plan on soaking in a hot bath and reading my latest manga, Virgin na Kankei.

What are you guys reading? Seriously, let me know!

(Just so you guys know, I’m going to work on keeping my entries short, because I know the last thing you want to do is read a long, multi-chaptered post. So, I’ll work on condensing everything into a handful of short paragraphs. You’re welcome. 😊)

As always, thanks for reading.

I love you all.

Short & Sweet

I’ll make this entry short & sweet: I laid in bed naked (most of the day, at least), finished reading Daddy I’m Sorry (which was a much better book than I thought it would be), watched a handful of YouTube videos on Artificial Intelligence, and played a bit of Shadow Era (a digital card game that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with).

That’s it.

And I loved every minute of it. This is what a Sunday is supposed to be.

Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. 😊

My most revealing Patreon post to date, perverted grandfathers, and falling in love with Tara Babcock. 😜

So I’ve been thinking a lot about sex lately, in case you can’t tell by my latest Patreon post titled “Creampies, swallowing, anal, gangbangs, double penetration, S&M, polyamory, interracial, tributes…and me.” (https://www.patreon.com/posts/18185371), a sort of one-sided never have I ever about all of those topics. You should read it. Like, now. I’ll wait.

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’ve read the Patreon post and you’ve returned to read the rest of this entry. Fucking wild, wasn’t it?! I bet you definitely see me differently now, don’t you? 😇

Anyway.

Moving on.

To be honest, today was all about relaxing, taking hot baths, and working on Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 5 throughout the day. I sat down and wrote like a demoness for about three and a half hours, and then kind of drifted to Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Pokémon Moon. And I started drafting out a short Quickies story just for fun titled Bad Grandpa, though it will be a while before I do anything with it. Still, the skeleton’s there.

And then…

During the latter part of my day, I stumbled upon a channel while browsing through YouTube (something I do often when I’m in brain-dead mode) and immediately fell in love. The channel is owned by Tara Babcock, and it’s actually her second channel (she’s a major gamer, so her first channel is a gaming channel), and in this channel she basically vlogs about everything. Mainly sex. And, despite my initial assumption based on her looks and attire, she is highly fucking intelligent. I adore her. I even said this publicly, and she just as publicly thanked me (https://twitter.com/TaraBabcock/statu...). I’m not going to lie, for a second, I fangirled out. 😅 I mean, bitch has almost 70,000 followers on Twitter and 332,718 subscribers on her second YouTube channel! 😳

[Humbled]

Anyway, here are some links. You should really check her out. Tell her Alexa Nichols sent you.



Tara Babcock

Gaming channel: https://www.youtube.com/tarababcockgames

Vlog Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/tarababc...



Some of my favorite sex videos of hers (so far)

IS INCEST REALLY THAT BAD? (A theoretical conversation) https://youtu.be/88WojS-T6-g

WHY I AM NOT A FEMINIST! https://youtu.be/1hbkk66HVQo

HOW ANAL FEELS! https://youtu.be/zVxDEUOa6Bw



That’s all for now.

Sweet dreams, #Alexaliens. I love you all.

And, as always, thank you for reading.

Seriously.