Dave Zuchelli's Blog, page 24

Mariah Carey and My Grownup Christmas List

I have to admit I’m not a huge Mariah Carey fan. It’s not that I don’t think she has a good voice—she’s has a fantastic voice with incredible range. And it’s certainly not that I don’t think she’s good looking—she’s as cute as a button (as they used to say in the old days). It’s just that I’m not generally into her genre of music, so I don’t usually hear her stuff.

[image error]The exception to that, however, is during the Christmas season. Hearing her music is virtually unavoidable this time of year. One of her songs, in particular, gets more airtime than is probably allowable by law. Unless you’ve been living in a cave somewhere, you know that song is All I Want for Christmas is You.

One of the repeated phrases in that lyric is, “I don’t want a lot for Christmas.” If you watch the video, it looks like she doesn’t want a lot for Christmas because she already has everything. That, of course, is the plight of many of us who currently live in the good old US of A. In many cases, we have more than we need and really shouldn’t want a lot for Christmas.

Every year, my adult children ask me for my Christmas wish list. I always struggle to make one up for them, but I end up listing a bunch of stuff—none of which I need. Besides, they have kids of their own and other bills to pay. I would just as soon they spend their money elsewhere.

So, I’ve thought about it, and have come up with My Grownup Christmas List (which, of course, is another Christmas song played ad nauseam this time of year). My list includes the following:

World Peace

One more Pittsburgh Pirate World Series Championship before I die

One more Pittsburgh Steeler Super Bowl Victory before I die

A partridge in a pear tree

What makes this a “grownup” Christmas list is that no one on earth can realistically provide these things for me (except maybe the last one—but I just threw that in because it sounds cool). The more I think about it, however, I’m not so sure how grownup it is to wish for something you have little or no possibility of attaining—especially through wishing alone.

[image error]The irony of all this is the fact that we supposedly do it to honor the King of Glory–our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The line is that we are celebrating his birth. We don’t even know his actual birthdate (which is almost undoubtedly NOT December 25). Then we buy stuff we can’t afford to give to people who don’t really need what we’ve purchased. I’m guessing Jesus would just as soon we bake him a cake, sing happy birthday, and call it a day.

We don’t do that, of course, and we probably never will. So, if you can arrange for that partridge in a pear tree, I’ll patiently await its delivery.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Tearing Things Apart (Part Five)

[Continued from Tearing Things Apart: Part Four ]

Today’s church is quickly fading into oblivion, obscurity, and uselessness. If we don’t shift gears soon, we’ll be reduced to an irrelevant social club. I believe we need to undertake a major overhauling, and return to our roots (which are planted in the Gospel of Christ).

[image error] It will take the faith as that of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20) to believe we can tear our institutional structures apart with the positive intent of rebuilding them in a helpful manner. Even if we have the faith to believe it, we’ll need the courage to actually carry it out—even to merely begin the process.

Can We Divest?

Most of us won’t even consider such bold moves. We all have too much invested in today’s church. Paid clergy are invested in their retirement plans (that includes me). Congregations are invested in their buildings and other property. Denominations are invested in their territory. Most of us are unwilling to risk all (or even any) of it to undertake a real reformation.

Jesus said some rather interesting things about investment. In Matthew 6:19-21, he tells us that our investments should be made in the treasures of heaven rather than earthly ones. He added that our hearts would gravitate toward the things in which we’re invested. In other words, if we spend all our time accumulating things that will be gone some day, we’re barking down the wrong hole.

Don’t get me wrong. We have to invest in a few earthly things. I’m not interested in walking around naked or sleeping out in a field, for example. If I don’t invest in clothing and housing, I’ll be useless to anyone before long. If I read the Gospel correctly, it’s when we become consumed with these things that we head down the wrong path.

“The church should be a lifeboat…”

If we, as the church, don’t begin to change a few things soon, we’ll be forced into major changes later—drastic changes, unless I miss my bet. Floating along with the tide is casual, easy, and relaxing. But if we continue to do so, we’ll end up out to sea in need of rescue. Being rescued is great unless you’re the one who’s supposed to be doing the rescuing. The church should be a lifeboat, not a piece of driftwood.[image error]

I realize that what I’ve laid out in these past five blogs stimulates a whole lot more questions than answers. In fact, I’ve proposed no answers at all. I’ve got a few ideas, but I’m not putting them out there for one important reason.

Each of us as individuals (as well as each individual congregation) needs to follow Jesus where he takes us. What I might suggest could be an entirely different route than he’s laying out for you. Each of us must take the journey we’re called to travel. We can’t simply do what the guys down the street are doing. We’ve already tried that.

Trust Jesus to take you where he wants you to go. He’s actually pretty good at that.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Tearing Things Apart (Part Four)

I ended my last blog (Tearing Things Apart: Part Three) by saying, “I believe we serve a God who will not allow the church to die. I believe there will always be an ember somewhere—a remnant (as the Bible often puts it). I also believe that the church as we know it will be gone within a few decades. The question is, in my view, what will take her place? If we don’t opt for some major reconstruction, the Lord will have to do it for us.”

[image error]This reconstruction will cannot be superficial, and it will probably have consequential changes upon our outward appearance and practice. It will be done from the inside out. It will begin with a deconstruction, and continue with a rebuilding. The scary part, for some, is where we begin again (if we actually do opt for tearing things apart).

A Not So Novel Suggestion

I have a novel suggestion in answer to that. Let’s begin with Scripture. Part of our problem is we have, in many ways, moved so far from the Bible that Biblical Christianity has been obscured by our many layers of programming, theological introspection, and bureaucracy (just to mention a few). We have left the Biblical Jesus behind in exchange for a sanitized Jesus that looks (for all the world) more and more like us.

If we don’t return to the God of Scripture, I suspect the Lord will intervene and begin taking away our options. Let me give you one, small, simple, but important example.

A friend of mine pastors a small congregation of believers whose building is located just down the street from where I serve. He and his flock have run into a major problem with their building (one in which they’ve worshiped for decades. I won’t get into the details, but it’s become increasingly apparent that renovation would be expensive, untenable, and inefficient.

I suggested the possible solution of them sharing our space. It’s certainly not unheard of, and my congregation has done that very thing in the past. They took my suggestion under advisement, prayed about it, and (to their credit) decided to do it God’s way rather than mine.

Forced to Obey

They’re still early in the process, but it looks like they’re going to attempt to relocate to the midst of a neighborhood where they can serve the people who surround them. Instead of trying to get folks to come to them, they’re going to the folks. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly what Jesus did.

[image error]In a day when growing churches are moving out of town, further and further away from the crux of their ministries, this congregation is headed in the opposite direction. They’ve been forced into this situation, but (as I see it) that’s not a bad thing.

My question (to myself and to the church universal) is this. Do we have the courage (and, yes, the faith) to do such things before we’re forced into it? It’s scary to tear things apart. Are we willing to follow if God calls? (To be continued…)

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Tearing Things Apart (Part Three)

Today’s church is deteriorating rapidly. She is closing down meeting places, losing clergy, and hemorrhaging members (see Tearing Things Apart: Part Two). We are quickly going the way of the dodo bird, and of the carnage, there’s no end in sight.

[image error]Probably worse than that (in fact, probably the cause of all that) is the fact that we’ve lost relevancy—at least in the eyes of the rest of the world. Few people can see any reason for us to exist anymore. Indeed, many in the church herself struggle to find a reason to stay.

“Take it all apart…”

People write blogs, columns, essays and books on this subject. Most of them have an idea or two concerning how we can go about fixing the problem(s). Here’s mine. Tear it down and rebuild (and I don’t mean the physical structures). Take it all apart, and start over.

Over the past two millennia, we’ve added so much excess to the church. We’ve added things that have become institutionalized and impossible to eliminate—things that are entirely unnecessary to the life of the church. We can’t seem to get rid of them because “That’s the way we’ve always done it.”

I beg to differ. That’s NOT the way we’ve always done it. I suspect if Matthew, Peter, John, and the boys showed up today, they wouldn’t recognize the church as it now stands. I believe they would have a myriad of questions for us. “What’s this?” Why do you do that?” “Who told you to form that kind of association?” “Where’s Jesus in all of this?”

[image error]Because we’ve piled on so much excess baggage, we can’t carry it around anymore. We’ve become a mere skeleton of what we were meant to be. The last time I checked, skeletons without muscle and sinew can’t function.

Part of the problem, of course, is that we can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong. Everyone has a different opinion as to what our real problem happens to be. We see the symptoms, but the disease is not one we’re used to diagnosing. That’s one reason why I think we need to start all over.

Start Over

Let me be clear. I’m under no illusion that we’ll do this just because I say it’s the way to go. But it seems to me, some congregation somewhere needs to be an example of what I’m suggesting. Actually, there are several of them out there, but they are so few and far between, we seldom get a glimpse of them among the wreckage of waning flocks and failing institutions.

I believe we serve a God who will not allow the church to die. I believe there will always be an ember somewhere—a remnant (as the Bible often puts it). I also believe that the church as we know it will be gone within a few decades. The question is, in my view, what will take her place? If we don’t opt for some major reconstruction, the Lord will have to do it for us. (To be continued…)

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Tearing Things Apart (Part Two)

In my last blog (Tearing Things Apart: Part One), I gave you a couple examples of taking things apart. In one example, a broken thing was reassembled (and functioned once again). In the other, it never worked again and got tossed. Disassembling something can be a very unnerving (even scary) prospect. That’s one reason why most of us avoid any kind of process where tearing something down to its bare parts is involved.

The things that always get me about the first example are the parts that are left over. How can something work when there are parts left over? The reasonable answer (at least to me) is that those parts were unnecessary in the first place.

Essential Personnel

[image error]It puts me in mind of our Federal Government. I live in the DC area, and every time there’s a big snowstorm, it’s announced that only “essential personnel” are required to attend work. Essential personnel? Why do we have non-essential personnel? I’d hate to deny someone a job, but if his or her position is an extra part, why does it exist? If we took government apart and reassembled it without those positions, it would still work just as well (and maybe more efficiently).

But all these things are mere examples and illustrations of what I’m really driving at—the church (surprise, surprise). After spending my entire life in and around the institutional church, it has become more and more evident that we need to tear it apart and reassemble it.

Why? I’m glad you asked. The answer is simple. In most cases, it doesn’t work anymore. If something doesn’t work in life, we have three basic options. Option one is to attempt to fix it. Option number two is to toss it onto the rubbish pile. Option number three (the one that most of us avoid at all costs) is to tear it down to its component parts and start all over again.

Insanity–Doing the Same Thing Over and Over

The first of those options is what we in the church have been trying to do for the past several decades. We attempt to get it fixed. We do this in various ways with various people and various methods. What we’ve found, in my observation, is that very little has changed.

[image error]Depending on which statistics you believe, four to seven thousand churches close down every year. Fifteen thousand people leave the ministry every month. And maybe worst of all, about 2.8 million church members fall into inactive status each annum.

In other words, somethin’ ain’t right, folks. It’s not working. The question becomes, should we keep trying to patch it up (which doesn’t seem to be helping at all—maybe hurting), should we chuck it all (which seems to be the option 2.8 million people are choosing each year), or should we tear it apart and use the viable components to build something meaningful?

Call me naïve, but I think option number three is the way to go. I know it’s scary, but what have we got to lose? (To be continued…)

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Tearing Things Apart (Part One)

Did you ever tear something apart? I’m guessing you have. We all have. Sometimes we do it out of anger or frustration. Occasionally we do it with great trepidation. But tearing things apart seems to be at least a tiny slice of life.

[image error]Here’s a situation in which you may have found yourself. You have a small appliance you use often, but it begins to fail. Finally it totally goes on the fritz. It’s already outlived its warranty, and it’s too old to merit paying someone to fix it.

You try various things. You leave it alone for a couple of days hoping it will get better on its own. When that doesn’t work, you try turning its switch on and off…repeatedly…faster and faster. When that doesn’t work, you shake it, beat it, and throw it against the wall—all to no avail.

There’s Only One Thing Left

After a few days of this, you realize you may have to go out and buy a new one. You’re reluctant to do so, because you really like THIS one. There’s still one last thing you can try. You really don’t want to, but the only thing left is to tear it apart.

If you’re like me, you don’t know anything at all about how it works, what kind of parts you’ll find inside, or how in the world you’ll be able to spot the problem. Yet, when you have a few minutes to spare, you take the plunge and disassemble it.

When you do, your worst fears are realized. You now have a pile of parts—most of which you don’t recognize nor have any idea what they’re called. You don’t see anything that could be wrong. You’re clueless at that point, so there’s only one thing left to do. Attempt to put it back together again.

What Did You Do?

So… You restore it to its original condition (as best you can remember). You plug it into the electric receptacle, and you throw the switch. Lo and behold, it starts purring like a kitten—it works like it was brand new again.

[image error]The funny thing is, you have no idea what you just did to make it work again. Even more curious is the fact that you have a few parts left over. How can it be running without those parts? But it is.

Obviously, it doesn’t always work like I just described. When I was ten, I had a toy rifle. This wasn’t just any gun. It was a replica from the Rifleman. I loved that baby.

Lucas McCain used to tear his apart and clean it. I saw him do it on TV. So, one day, I decided to do the same thing. I tore my prize rifleman gun apart—and I couldn’t get it back together. I was afraid to tell my parents, so it sat in one of our back bedrooms for months. Eventually, it got tossed.

Experiences like that second example are what instill trepidation into our souls when we consider tearing something apart. (To be continued…)

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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A Huge Bite of the Apple

In case you haven’t heard yet, the Apple Corporation has agreed to pay Ireland over fifteen billion dollars in back taxes. Yes, that’s billion with a “b.” When I first read this, I assumed it was some kind of joke or satirical essay. Nope. It’s real.

[image error] This whole thing is surprising on many levels (most of which I don’t have the room to discuss here). I find that my meager, little brain has a hard time comprehending what’s happening here.

First of all, how can anyone (even a mamoth corporation) accumulate a tax debt that large? Hasn’t Ireland ever heard of withholding? The US Government discovered this little trick eons ago. You’d think the secret would have leaked across the waters before this.

A Random Act of Kindness

Secondly, why is Ireland being forced to do this? According to my sources (the general media), this is not something they actually wanted to do. I’ve never heard of such altruism on the part of ANY government. They should just be left alone. When something good happens, shouldn’t we simply call it a random act of kindness and leave it at that?

The most mystifying part of all this is Apple itself. Why in the world have they agreed to pay all that money? If the Irish don’t really want it, stick it in your back pocket (or maybe more appropriately, your back vault). The only thing I can figure can be summed up in the old saying, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

Apple undoubtedly has the moolah. They certainly have plenty of mine to work with. Most people I know have Apple phones, as I do. Every computer I see in movies and on TV shows (as well as on my desk at home) is an Apple. iPods, iPads, and iWhatevers abound everywhere. Apple has to be rolling in the dough (or else they’re wasting a lot of pocket change). In any case, they’re brandishing it now.

Getting Religion

Or maybe…just maybe…the bigwigs at Apple have finally “got religion.” Stop chuckling and hear me out. Jesus once told the Pharisees to “give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s.” (Luke 20:25) Could it be that the fat cats are feeling guilty? Could it be that their consciences have gotten the best of them?

[image error]Caesar, in the time of Christ, was the Big Kahuna. He was the monarch of monarchs. He was the dictator to end all dictators. In other words, he was the government. Jesus, in no uncertain terms, was telling the Pharisees that it was okay to pay their taxes—even to the hated Romans.

So, it looks like the guys and gals at Apple are doing the right, and Biblical thing. They’re ponying up. Ireland doesn’t want it, the EU (European Union) says they’ve got to collect it, and Apple is getting out the checkbook.

It’s kind of funny in a way. It’s usually the corporations that are getting accused of being greedy. I guess there are a few governments that aren’t all that far behind.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Incessantly Standing in the Way

If you haven’t heard of this guy, you need to check him out. His name is Mason Wells, and he always seems to be standing in the wrong place. He was on the scene at the Boston Marathon explosion, the Paris bombing, and was critically injured during the Brussels terrorist attack. What are the chances?

[image error]How could anyone be at all three of these sites of human carnage? Certainly it’s possible due to the time intervals between these events—but probable? I think not. Yet, it’s true.

If I were he, I‘d have a few questions. I’d be asking things like, “Why me?” “Why am I still alive?” “Would anyone care to go for a walk with me?”

Accidentally Present

To be accidentally present for any one of these occurrences would be highly improbable. To be in attendance at all three… Well, you do the math if you know how. Let’s just say, this may be the unluckiest man on the planet (or the most fortunate, depending on how you look at it—he’s still alive, after all).

The real kicker is this. He was an LDS missionary. (No, not an LSD missionary—although, if he told you his story, you might think he was tripping on some hallucinogen). I’m not of the LDS (Latter Day Saint) persuasion; but if I was him, I might consider changing teams. If he were a Roman Catholic, he would probably be canonized already. I’m pretty sure his survival is a documented miracle.

The nice part of Mason’s story is that, although his faith has been sorely tested, it has deepened according to him. I guess trials and tribulations can do that. It’s just that most of our trials are a tad less dramatic than his were. I’ve always heard the third time’s a charm, but c’mon!

Shortly after he began the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said an interesting thing. He told his followers, ““Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.” (Matthew 5:11) In other words, if you’re persecuted, count it a blessing.

The Caveat

Well, Mason Wells must ultimately be one of the most blessed guys going. The modern day terrorists seem to be singling him out. If that’s not persecution, I don’t know what is. They seem to have him targeted. Everywhere he goes is ground zero. If it weren’t so scary, it would be funny.

[image error]Unfortunately, there was a caveat to what Jesus said about being blessed. Being persecuted alone apparently isn’t enough. You need to be persecuted for his name’s sake. I’m not sure Wells qualifies on that count. Being an “innocent bystander” probably isn’t the same thing. Still, just being there on three separate occasions should count for something. A blessing is a blessing. I suppose he’ll take them any way we can get them.

As for me, I’m looking for an easier route to my blessings. Terrorists aren’t doing God’s work (I don’t care what they say).

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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Sex and the Single Hurl

It’s quite amazing how many dudes are getting into trouble these days over allegations of sexual harassment. To me, the most astounding part is that when one accusation is hurled, dozens seem to follow. Talk about playing the field. Sheeesh!

[image error] Quite frankly, I’m not sure what to make of it all. It won’t be long before we have no more congressmen or entertainers left to speak of (and the ranks of the Catholic priesthood have already been decimated). What’s a mother to do?

I keep wondering when the shoe will drop on me. Oh, don’t worry. It’s not that I’m a sexual predator or anything. In fact, at the ripe old age of sixty-seven (sixty-eight in fifty-six days—but who’s counting), I’m pretty docile. Still, it seems to be happening with regularity to every possible kind of male. Representative John Conyers is not exactly a spring chicken at eighty-eight. It’s getting to the place where I’m afraid to look at anyone sideways.

No Gesture Too Innocuous

An incident took place in my life about twenty-five years ago that I will never forget. I patted a young lady on the shoulder. I know that may sound rather innocuous to some of you, but a person who happened to be watching made the following comment. “That gesture could be misunderstood.”

I remember being put off at the time (and somewhat incensed) to think someone could mistake my intentions from a mere pat on the shoulder. But now, that comment is making more and more sense to me. I haven’t stopped patting people on the shoulder, but I’m keenly aware of the possible consequences.

To make matters worse, I’m a hugger. I hug everyone—men, women, boys and girls (well, not the boys so much…you know how macho teenage boys are). Hugging someone could get me into even more trouble than a pat on the shoulder—just sayin’.

Dirty Old Men

Things seem to be reaching a tipping point as far as hurled accusations are concerned. It seems like every other day, someone is coming out of the woodwork to point a finger at some supposed perv. Dirty old men seem to be the favorite targets at this point, but I doubt it will stop there.

[image error]Don’t get me wrong, though. If these guys are guilty, they probably deserve whatever they’ve got coming to them. But for the sanity of us clean old men, we’d like a few, clear guidelines. We used to have a pretty good idea, but the rules seem to be changing. We would hate to inadvertently cross the line simply because we didn’t know where it was.

I suppose we could all attempt to avoid the opposite sex as much as possible. The biggest problem with that, of course, is that there are more of them than there are of us. Plus, it would make for a very dull existence.

As for me, I intend to continue passing out the pats and hugs. Hopefully, nothing will get hurled at me. I’m getting too old to duck.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

 

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Netflix Takes a Dive (or Two)

Netflix has recently announced the cancellation of sixteen of their TV shows. The reason given is almost maddening on its face. Series’ (like Bloodline, for example) are being dropped prematurely despite any popularity they may be experiencing.

Netflix CEO, Reed Hastings, says it’s because their “hit ration is way too high right now.” That’s like me saying, “We’re going to cancel worship because we’re getting too many people in the pews.” Our solution to that almost unimaginable dilemma would be to add another service—not cancel the one we have.[image error]

His reasoning behind that statement is to make room for the company to take more risks. I guess I understand that idea. Risk taking should be a part of the entertainment industry (or any industry for that matter). Still, there’s an old saying that seems to hold true in most situations. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” Netflix seems bound and determined to fix it anyway.

“Now I’m beginning to understand.”

Apparently, Netflix is not the only media outlet that’s involved in the cancelation craze. I’ve had a few of my faves canceled from time to time—seemingly without warning. Good, solid shows that were well written and entertaining… There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. Now I’m beginning to understand—a little.

As much as I hate to see some good programming go down the tubes at the whim of a network exec, I have to admire what’s taking place. We, in the church, could stand to take a lesson from all this.

For the most part, the church hasn’t changed since the days of the Reformation. Just to remind you of a little history, that was five hundred years ago. I realize most of us resist change, but that’s a bit ridiculous.

It’s become a common theme among pastors these days to make statements like, “The things I used to do don’t work anymore.” So what do we do? We keep on doing the things we’ve always done. Don’t look now, but I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of insanity (doing the same old thing over and over yet expecting different results).

“The good old days are long gone.”

Still, it’s not just pastors who do the same things over and over again. Even when an innovative pastor comes along, ninety-nine times out of one hundred the congregation bucks any new trend. If part of the flock is ready for the change,[image error] there are usually at least a few who are willing and able to stand in the way of any variance to the good old days.

The problem, of course, is that the good old days are long gone. We’ve proven we can’t bring them back by doing the same old things. So what’s the solution?

I hate to say it, but the solution just may be to follow in the footsteps of Netflix. In other words, take a few risks. We might fall flat on our collective faces, but we seem to be doing that anyway. So… Does anyone have any ideas? Anyone?

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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