Kelly Rae Roberts's Blog, page 89

Weekly Sponsor Spotlights: Contemporary Cloth, Sublime, Charlene Proctor, Katherine Quinn, Sacred Cake, Louise Gale, Heartwork + ABC Creativity

Big thanks to my sponsors...I'm really enjoying these weekly sponsor spotlights where their creative talents and businesses are featured. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor (includes your ad on the sidebar + ongoing spotlights), please send me an email for further information!
*******************************************************************************************************Contemporary Cloth has an exciting collection of modern, vintage, hand dyed and organic fabrics, patterns, fabric stencils and sale books/magazines. Els van Baarle of the Netherlands sends us her hand dyed/batiked papers/fabrics and vintage papers in several languages. See our holiday fabrics for your handmade projects!
Mention - "KellyRae" - in the coupon code for 20% off your order (10-15% off fiberartists). You can also find us on twitter, facebook, and our blog!
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Hi Kaye-Lee here again, Artist, Psychotherapist and creator of the ecourses Sublime and The Man Code. Here to offer you this beautiful e gift certificate for The Man Code. This on line course for women is designed to hit the funny bone while gaining some useful tools that will help improve our understanding of and communication with the boys and men in our lives. Through some detective work and journaling we will learn how to read their behavior like never before and learn why they just won't do it our way!
We are running a contest. Just go to our site and enter a tag line for our photograph and you could win a free course for yourself or gift it to a friend. The Man Code and Sublime ecourses will begin in January 2011, registration for both is open now.
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Want to experience more freedom and joy in your life? Rev. Dr. Charlene Proctor helps you rediscover your connection to Divine Spirit. Making positive change at the level of consciousness begins with a re-imagination of your own divinity and feeling one with humanity. A deeksha and oneness blessing giver, she authors books on oneness, spiritual awakenings, empowerment, and positive thinking and helps people learn to embrace life in the present moment. Blog with her on a variety of spiritual topics! And read about her newest title called The Oneness Gospel coming in 2011!

From January 8 - 14th, 2011, travel to the Mayan Riviera for a week of blessings, meditation, mala-making, sacred sites, yoga, and oneness teachings. She shares your interest in freebies and encourages you to join her online community to receive all kinds of lovely goodies which will always be in your inbox at the perfect time!
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My name is Katherine Quinn and I am the New Zealand artist behind Sleep And Her Sisters. I sell my original works to 8 galleries around New Zealand and have three online shops where I also sell originals, prints and other goodies. I live with my two children, 17 year old Hannah, 5 year old Ben and our 10 year old cat... Holly. I work from my kitchen table at our home in the sunny Hawke's Bay where I love to create with paint, chalk pastels, graphite, paper and a little bit of jewellery… I also love to collect things. My favourite colour at the moment is a soft, pale, antique sort of blue.
I am a firm believer that our stories are not for us alone that they are for us to give courage, support and wisdom to each other. You can read about my creative journey and see my latest works on my blog.
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Hello and Happy Holidays! I'm Jennifer Valentine of Sacred Cake. I am an assemblage artist and vintage assemblage jewelry designer living my best life in small town Michigan. My inspiration is drawn from my years living the quiet country life, my study of religious iconography, and my adoration and life long appreciation for remnants of the past. All of these elements intertwine to create vintage and antique assemblage jewelry and functional artwork infused with spirit and the stories of my heart.

You can read more about my life and work on my blog. Please come visit my Etsy shop for unique and one of a kind jewelry. I'm offering an extra 10% off of sale prices with the coupon code "WONDERLAND." A portfolio of my work can be found at www.sacredcake.net. Custom orders are always welcome! Wishing all of you a blessed holiday season filled with light and love!
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Are you ready to make 2011 YOUR year to see some wonderful Dreams come true? Join Louise Gale and other creative souls to dream, plan and build your roadmap to success. Big Dreams, Small Wonders is a 4 week program in January 2011, designed to kick start your year with tools, techniques and lots of planning resources to ensure you are ready to follow your passion and make some great things happen. Registration just opened on Dec 1st and we already have over 30 creative souls ready to make 2011 a great year.

We are really excited to be building a community of dreamers who are dedicated to making some great things happen in 2011. We can't wait to track progress and celebrate all of our successes.

Connect with Louise:: Blog :: Facebook :: Etsy Shop :: Twitter ::

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Kate Johnson writes: Heartwork is a site about joy and exploration, curiosity and creativity. So much of life is about doing. I wanted to create a space where I could explore the act of being, to truly revel in self discovery and rediscovery, and to share some insights, questions and curiosities along the way.
I offer e-workshops centered around the wildly unstructured act of journaling, and there is a freebee up on my site right now (click on the Free Stuff tab!). I'll be starting up workshopping again in January to ring in the new year, and will be offering a new downloadable format for workshop content. I hope you'll join me!
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Do you know that you are a creative genius and you can create *anything*? Your creative genius is all of the most delicious aspets of who you really are. It's your:

inner wisdom + intuition
authenticity + uniqueness
passion + superpower
ability to create dreams come true
It's pure magic.
Come on over to ABCcreativity to discover your creative genius in this free e-course.

a bit of andrea scher wisdom....

(me, 7 mos preggers, andrea, 6 mos - photo by jen lee)

as maternity leave continues, the guest posts from friends continue. today, i'm sharing a bit of andrea scher's wisdom with you. andrea and i met a few years ago and it was instant chemistry. through the years we've lived in the same city, shared a studio space, not lived in the same city, traveled together, visited one another, and we talk on the phone all the time. i nearly screamed my head off when she called one day to tell me she was pregnant and was due just four weeks after me (welcome to the world, nico boon!) yesterday we were on the phone while we both fed our little guys (thank goodness for bluetooth) and i just loved the sweetness of that.

the other day i was telling andrea about my heart widening experience (the one i wrote about in yesterday's post). it reminded her of something she wrote awhile back and so she read it to me over the phone (she does that often - reads things to me over the phone that leave me inspired). i wanted to share that piece with you guys today. andrea has a great gift for story telling as many of you already know from her blog - wise, and insightful. and also really hilarious.

by the way, you can join andrea and jen lemen for the next session of Mondo Beyondo in January- an online class about dreaming big. you guys might remember my talking (and gushing) about the time i took this class and it changed my life. it can change yours too:)

okay, now for andrea's post.....

This morning at Ben's preschool, as we waited in the play yard for his classroom to open, one of his pals arrived. Eloise ran over, all smiles, and Ben said to her, "I'm playing daddy cheetah, the fastest animal in the world!" She responded with an even bigger grin, "What? You were sad I wasn't here earlier to play with you?"

We live In a world where we are constantly making assumptions about what others think of us. Even when we hear what they are saying, we make assumptions about what they mean when they say x, y and z. As adults, unlike Eloise, we usually assume the worst! For example, lately, when I check my inbox, my stomach tightens when I see a subject line about a jewelry order. Oh great… another complaint I bet! Someone else's jewelry didn't arrive on time! The irony is that nine times out of 10, the person is simply thanking me and letting me know how happy their loved one is. I can barely take in the goodness of this news because I am still stuck in my defensive mode. At best I feel relief that at least I didn't blow it again.

We assume the worst to shield ourselves from vulnerability, but the truth is it doesn't work. And as Brene Brown says in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, when we shield ourselves from vulnerability, we also shield ourselves from true joy, love and connection. Turns out we can't pick and choose.

celebrating giftbeat and a really happy kid.

i'm so thrilled that the kelly rae roberts collection (my gift product line with demdaco) was ranked #1 in the inspirational category in GiftBeat's Dec/Jan issue. to be ranked #1 alongside mega gift line, willow tree, is, well, it's insanely incredible. giftbeat is an industry newsletter that gathers data on how products are selling in stores nationwide. being ranked in any category is huge news and it means that retailers nationwide are selling the line really really well. when i received the news today, i did a happy dance in the dining room. baby true was sleeping, otherwise i would have yelled out a good ol' YEE-HAW! huge thanks to all of you retailers who are selling the product and HUGE thanks to all of you who are buying the product! and of course, giant forever thanks to the folks at demdaco who took a risk on introducing my line in early 2009 and who, two years later, have continued to amaze me with their vision, their talents, and their enthusiasm for what's to come. it's a partnership of a lifetime. i will always be grateful.

in other licensing news, i can barely wait to share the news with you about what's coming in 2011. it's big, like pee in your pants, can hardly believe it big.

but for now, i will share some omg,icanhardlystandthecuteness photos of True:




and a quick 15 second video of my singing the song we sing to True every single morning. he loves it. there are more verses but i'll spare you:) and please, please, pardon my singing. he laughs like this all day long especially when we sing to him or when we turn on the music (which means it's always on nowadays) or when we show him a book (he seems to love the illustrations) or when we look him in the eye and talk baby talk. this kid is happy. and my heart heals everyday from the joy. nine weeks old....



here's what i'm learning about open hearts

(she could hardly believe all that was waiting when she finally opened her heart - prints available here)

when i met john in my early twenties - when we fell in love and it seemed like the only thing on the planet that mattered was love, our love, our togetherness - my heart felt open and wide for the first time in my life.

for me, opening my heart to love and vulnerability meant struggling with thoughts that i would soon lose it. for years, i struggled with thoughts of losing john to tragedy. i'd drive myself nuts each time he went surfing or rock climbing or back country skiing with thoughts that he'd never make it home (shark attack! falling off a cliff! avalanche!). intellectually i always knew these fears stemmed from suddenly losing a parent at a young age, but emotionally it took me a long time to trust that each time john left the house for a big outdoorsy adventure that i didn't have to torture my heart with the what ifs.

(an alternate version of the original painting - prints available here)

i deeply believe that our hearts marry the hearts of people (friends, husbands, etc) who are meant to heal and nurture us in ways that nobody else can. it's no accident that i married the heart of a man who is a risk taker, a person who loves life's adventures and sometimes does scary (to me) stuff like go back country skiing in alaska for a week. over time my old wounds and fears of losing suddenly losing love have healed, one stitch at a time. i'm no longer tempted to close my heart to him out of fear that i'm going to lose him to that inevitable shark attack or avalanche. i just take the love as it lives. and it will always live.

i believe that learning to keep my heart open during our love and togetherness led me to the discovery of art which then, of course, opened my heart (and life) even wider. i have learned so much, so much, on the creative path. it very much keeps my heart open and challenges me at every turn let life in. and then to let it go inside a painting, an essay, a photograph. and then to let more in. and then to let it go again.


(8 weeks, iphone photo. hat via lovedbaby.com)

and then we had baby true.

and now i'm discovering a whole new way to keep my heart open. it's as if my heart grew up and out and deep and wide with his birth. it's startling, feels deeply layered (love toward john, toward myself, healing, all encompassing) and it's rushing in more and more with each new day of togetherness. in some ways, i'm back to my old torturous ways of fearing the worst. what if something happens to him? what if i lose him? what if, what if, what if. i can feel the struggle of my heart keeping its distance versus committing to being all in. i want to be all in. i want my heart to stay open, to widen more. and it is. it is....

i'm reminded of something my friend brene talks about in one of her dvds. she talks about how we can't just pick and choose what emotions we get to experience and how when we try and block certain emotions through self defeating actions (like addiction), then we also block the potential of fully feeling love and joy. we don't get to pick and choose. that's what i'm learning right now. by choosing to keep my heart open, it's all rushing in. the love is big, the fears are intense. but i can tell, yes i can, that love is winning. because, you know, love always wins.

(and i can hardly believe all that was waiting when i finally opened my heart.)

you are amazing, karen walrond

during maternity leave, i've invited a few friends to share their thoughts in this space. today, we've got the amazing karen walrond. karen and i met a few years ago just as she was about to launch herself out of corporate america (where she was an attorney for a large firm) and into full time creative life as a photographer, writer, digital storyteller, and one amazing public speaker. i know, i know - she's amazing! although i don't get to see her very often (she lives in texas), i love being around her whenever i get the chance. once, she told me in a moment of creative insecurity that my paintings were just as amazing as the writings of a mutual friend we both admired. it really struck me, the way she said this, and i've never forgotten the kindness. and that's karen: all about kindness as you will read below. it's very very real.

baby true was just a couple of weeks old when she was in portland for a quick visit. during that visit, i had the pleasure of seeing and holding in my hands karen's first book, The Beauty of Different: Observations of a Confident Misfit. i've read the entire book and let me just say this: it's awesome. she has done an extraordinary job of integrating her talents of story telling and photography and created a book that weaves in her personal life truth and belief that there is so much beauty inside each of us and that it's kindness that holds the divide between our differences. it's a book that showcases her amazing photography while also being all about connection and story telling. it's the best of both worlds. her book officially launched last week and we are all so so proud of her....go karen! i'd highly recommend it for christmas gifts, but be sure to gift yourself with this beautiful book.

okay, now for karen's amazing letter to baby true (thank you, friend).

(baby true, 2 weeks old, photo by karen)

Hello, beautiful True!

Welcome to the world! We're thrilled to have you here, and I know your mom and dad are beside themselves now that you've finally made your appearance in their lives -- I know this, because I've seen their excitement first-hand. Your mom invited me to write you a personal letter of welcome, and I can't tell you how honoured I am at the invitation. I hope I manage the job well. If I do, perhaps your mom can print this out and keep it for you to read when you're finally capable of reading (which I estimate to be in about, oh, 6 years or so). If I don't, well, then maybe your mom will just delete this and we'll never speak of it again. "What letter?" we'll say, with faux surprise in our eyes. But secretly, we'll know. Oh, we'll know.

Anyway.

So.

I suppose, in theory, I'm qualified to write you this note because I've lived on Earth about 43 years longer than you have. Which, my goodness, when I put it that way, it must seem to you that I am of ancient, redwood-like, Yoda-esque age, mustn't it? Given this, you would think that I would be full of the wisdom of the millennia. You would think this, but you would be wrong: the truth is that even at my age, I find myself still looking at the world with a certain measure of wonder and disbelief, and am still trying to make my way through it the best way I can. (They don't call life a "journey" for nothing, my friend.) And yet, of course, I've managed to receive some really good advice along the way, tips which I believe to have some profound truth in them; and so, at the very least, I'll pass them along to you, in the hopes that maybe, in your own journey, they'll help. I find, however, that some of the best learnings you can receive in life are those that you glean from experience; so don't beat yourself up if you don't understand it the first time.

The first thing that comes to mind is that when your mom tells you that you're a beautiful boy -- and trust me, if she hasn't already, she will, and often -- even though you'll think she's just saying it because she's your mom (and you're right), there's more to it than that. The truth is that the fact that she's your mom doesn't reduce the accuracy of her comment: you are beautiful, True, and even more amazing, you haven't even begun to tap into the profound and real beauty that you are and will be capable of exhibiting. As a matter of fact, this is the real meaning of life: we're put here on Earth to learn how to harness the power that's within each of us to help make the world a more beautiful place. And the best way to learn this? By being kind: kind to the people we love, our friends, acquaintances and even total strangers. This doesn't mean that anyone expects you to be a doormat, you understand. You have a good mind and a strong voice and you should use them both vigorously, but always do so with kindness. After all, as a friend of your mother's and mine would say, Love Always Wins.

And she's right.

To that end, I remember when I was about 10 years old, and having some problems with some schoolmates, my father looked at me somberly and said, "Karen, if you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas." I remember exploding into laughter, thinking it was such a funny phrase (while secretly suspecting that my father had finally lost the plot). But years later, I finally get what he was trying to say: while you should be kind to everyone you encounter, you should also be very discriminating about who you allow into your close circle of friends. Always try to surround yourself with boys and girls (and later, men and women) who are as determined to make kindness their focus as you are. If you do this, there is absolutely no obstacle you, with the help of your friends, won't be able to overcome. I guarantee this.

And finally, I feel I would be remiss if I didn't pass along this nugget that a friend gave to me not too long ago: always -- always! -- confirm that you have enough toilet paper before you sit down.

This last bit, in fact, might be the most useful advice in this letter.

With that, I'll leave you to your gurgling and stretching and sleeping and eating and other things that you're busying yourself with these days. Have a wonderful, wonderful life, beautiful boy, and remember: listen to your mother and father. They love you like crazy.

With love,
Karen

five years later

today john and i and true were taking a walk when we had a very sweet conversation about gratitude. it seems my life (our life) turned a really significant corner when i turned 30 years old and when john turned 31. now, at age 35, i'm amazed that it's been five of the most wonderful years of my entire life. some of those years we were financially struggling, living paycheck to paycheck while more recently we've enjoyed some financial security. some of those years were huge transition years with a ton of hard work, and some were not. some were more adventurous and required more leaps of faith than others. some years were question oriented, while others seems full of answers. through all of it, the common denominator has been this: it's been joy. whether we were poor, whether we were not. whether we were overwhelmed, whether we were not. whether we were moving at the speed of light, whether we were not. it's been a joy that, i believe, has been a direct result of faith and leaps. leaps of faith while chasing our dreams. all the while, during these five years, i've wondered when the good fortune shoe would drop, when life would turn on us. i'm realizing now that it's not a matter of circumstance (money, housing, city, job, huge life transitions), but rather a matter of perspective. we, inside our togetherness, are very very good at riding the waves of whatever comes our way while at the same time planning for and making changes toward the direction of our dreams and our dream life. today we were in awe how life just keeps getting better, even with birth trauma and giant student loan bills and uncertainty and fears and and and...

we are making it our own. we are creating our dream life, one tiny step at a time. five years later, those tiny steps have amounted to nothing less than extraordinary. we are so so grateful and working very hard to let go of the worry that it's all going to come falling down any second now :)

sending gratitude and appreciation for each and every one of you who have been a witness to these last five years of what has felt like a building of a whole new life - it's all been captured here on this blog which i love, love, love (even if it is embarrassing to read older posts!).

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ps: online shop is pretty much sold out (thanks, guys) but we've got a few more goodies and a big batch of laptop and iphone skins (3g - like the one i have in the photo above) have been added to the shop for all of your stocking stuffing needs! and of course, matted/signed prints are always available.

NEW Sponsor Spotlights:

Today, I'd like to offer a warm welcome to my newest sponsors. There is so much goodness in their offerings, especially during this holiday season. Please enjoy their spotlights! PS: If you are interested in becoming a sponsor (includes your ad on the sidebar + ongoing spotlights), please send me an email for further information!
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O Tannenbaum, O Christmas Tree! The decorated fir tree originated in Riga, Latvia in the 1500s and the custom continues to be the central focus of Christmas traditions today. Joy Studio announces "Christmas Traditions," a new product line that tells the interesting story passed down for generations! The 500 Year Celebration of the Decorated Christmas Tree is depicted by artist J. Wecker Frisch in a series of six classic story-book style illustrations of the Christmas tree over five centuries. The National Christmas Tree Association selected Janet to depict this historic event on a variety of commemorative items. All are accompanied with the printed details of each century's significant decorative contribution. Available this weekend at the St Louis "Holiday Magic" show Dec. 3-5 at the America's Center, you can find them in the Fine Art Ltd. booth # 413.

Janet is the owner of Tidings of Great Joy, LLC, an art licensing company that features her vintage quality, illustrations. She is most noted for her woodsy creatures and animal characters widely available on high quality fabric sold exclusively in quilt shops. Christmas Traditions and other prints and paper products are available through Janet's sites, www.TidingsOfGreatJoy.com or Joy Studio. Merry Christmas!
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My name is Lu Hanessian, and I'm the founder of WYSH Wear your spirit for humanity! Four years ago, I was inspired to create WYSH through my work with parents and writings on parenthood and education. For twenty-five years, I've been asking questions and telling stories as a television and print journalist. When I became the grateful mama of two beautiful boys, I was inspired to write about the "joyride" of parenthood, how we cultivate relationship and who emerges in the process of our bonding. Along the way, I realized how much of parenting unfolds at the intersection of love and fear, and that our perceptions of who our children are don't always match the truth of who they are. Of who we are. As I wrote, I wondered: What would our baby say if he had a voice to say it? Put yourself in my booties. Love doesn't spoil. What would we say if we dared to have, hear and express our voice? Trust your gut. Embrace your flaws. And WYSH was born! Through 9 themes-- connection, authenticity, inspiration, trust, respect, empowerment, intuition, freedom and empathy--WYSH is about wearing our story and sharing our heart and voice for humanity. A portion of profits are donated to organizations that help children and families thrive. WYSH is dedicated to celebrating our authentic human spirit. Wear it forward! WYSH Wear your spirit for humanity. www.wearyourspirit.com
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My name is Lisa Ferrante. I am a self taught mixed media artist. Through my art years of feelings about my life have begun to flow from my hands and my heart. Intimately woven with my long suppressed feelings about my mother who died when I was five years old are my passionate feelings about my two magical little girls. All my pieces are about love, maternal love, romantic love, self love and self empowerment. They are me exposed; each purges a powerful emotion, a profound realization, another step in my evolution as a woman. As the themes have evolved I have learned to love and accept me for the first time in my life. A customer recently wrote: "Lisa, your package brought me, my sister and my daughter to tears. Your generosity of spirit and kindness on top of the sheer beauty of the pieces filled us to overflowing with gratitude, love for art, artists and life! We all felt so aware that what we were celebrating was the supportive relationships between women and the amazing effects we can have on our worlds".
Kelly Rae readers receive a free gift with purchase just write in "message to seller" Kelly Rae sent me! Browse my shop at chloeandsofiasmom.etsy.com for beautiful and inspirational prints and reproductions pieces for you and every woman you love. Or check out my blog at LisaFerrante.com
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So many of our stories begin with a photo. Jessica Sprague, renowned crafter, scrapbooker, teacher, and Photoshop guru can show you how to perfect those story-starting shots, no matter how you use them in your own storytelling. Win free tuition to "Good-to-Great Workflow" AND a copy of Jessica's new personal/family history book Stories in Hand!

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Dream, plan & create your incredible 2011…
The 2011:Creating My Goddess Year workbook, planner & calendar is now available to help you make 2011 an absolutely incredible year for you! It's filled with a whopping 72 pages of worksheets & a printable calendar to help you dream, manifest, set your intentions, plan & cultivate your amazing new year.

Want a goddess tribe?
Check out my Goddess Circle. You'll get all my e-courses, meditation kits, workbooks plus the support of a tribe of goddess sisters.
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Hi, I'm barb from art for the journey! The last five months have been a wild and exciting ride. Kelly Rae, through her e-course Flying Lessons, has been a life-changing inspiration to me. I have opened an Etsy shop! The fine art of metal embossing—repujado—repousse—and mixed media are the artistic mediums I love using to create unique treasures. "Pushing" metal— pewter, aluminum, copper—and seeing shapes and textures appear is my artistic passion. Please visit my Etsy shop where you will find art designed and handcrafted by me as well as vintage treasures. I hope the art will make new memories for you and the vintage items will bring back older memories. Happy Holidays!
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I am an artist, art educator, Mother and Wife living an amazing creative life in the suburbs of Atlanta. Since childhood I have been a creative soul. From sneaking time on Mother's yellow sewing machine, making Barbie clothes with ribbon and tape, to painting my room, there is not a time when I don't remember using my imagination as a stepping stone to a life that is brimming with joy. Now I embrace my creative inspirations full-time while navigating the path of being a thriving artist. My motto on Mattie's Social Circle is to "scatter joy through paint . fabric . metal". And with those three mediums as a guide, the journey has been endearing to me as well as my readers. Visit my etsy shop for the newest creations which are sure scatter joy your way.

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Hi, my name Is Kathi I create my little whimsies In my home studio In the beautiful Midwest. For me Creating Is a way for me to nurture and rejuvenate my spirit. As a Caregiver and nurture to my husband who was diagnosed with A.L.S. better known as "Lou Gerhig's Disease " In 1999 These are talismans that soothe and heal my soul. When I step Into my studio I am able to create pieces from my heart, my mind goes places that I've never been. I see colors and textures merging Into one and my creations are born. It Is so rewarding and I am so very blessed. Each one of my pieces tell a story, a story I could only In vision In my mind.

happy 8 weeks, dear true and other thoughts

(new painting! signed and matted prints are up in the shop)

sometimes when true and i are quietly together, i think about his spirit, his energy, and his soul. i think about how he came to be, who he is spiritually and what it is that we'll offer to one another in our journeys. more than ever before i feel the spiritual piece of my life. maybe it's because i feel a responsibility to shepherd this new life into his new world. maybe it's because i'm aware of his bigness in our lives and how he came to be ours. maybe it's because i feel a certain new energy inside our home when the three of us are together. maybe it's because what i feel is unexplainable - i just know it exists and it's very very good and very very big (enormous) and surrounded by light. i have a deep sense and awareness that the three of us are living spirits who somehow found one another, not by accident, but by faith. faith that we are better together, more whole, more aware of all there is to soak up inside this human experience.
it all feels extremely boundless yet very intimate all at once.


(he is 8 weeks old and very very very smiley. loves new faces, new sounds.)

i talk to him constantly. and he smiles when he hears my voice, always. i tell him he's doing such a good job at this baby stuff and how he's a delight to have in our lives. i tell him how hard it was those first many weeks with his reflux and our new parent stuff and my birth recovery and and and....but that we made it through. that he made it through, that i made it though, that john made it through - all three very separate journeys but inside a togetherness all the same. i tell him of all the things i'm learning because of him, how my heart continues to widen, how my fears are starting to fall aside little by little.

i tell him that his heart will never be alone.

i tell him that this world is a seriously good and wondrous place and how lucky we all are to be living in it. i tell him that kindness is the only way. and that love is the only true north. i sing to him all day long. i soothe him. and all the while, i feel a deep kindness toward myself, like i'm learning all over again the things i'm telling him. as i comfort him, i comfort myself. because we are in this together, side by side, heart to heart. it's so very sweet, i can hardly take it. what a gift.


(love starbuck's new messages. so, so perfect)

as with all things brave in sadness, brave in love, living right next to all the sweetness is the hard and guts of this new journey. i had a phone call with my midwife yesterday. i cried my eyes out as we talked again about my birth story - how i'm still very much recovering from it and how the layers run so deep inside that recovery that i hardly know what to do with it all. she reminded me of my strength, of my power, and that i have the absolute capacity to work through it while still being all that baby true needs. she's so right. i've noticed that my heart heals with each new day with him. and that things are becoming more and more clear. i'm writing a lot - on sticky notes, on random pieces of paper, on desktop text docs, everywhere. i wonder if these pieces will ever come together in cohesion. i just know that i need to get it out of my mind, of my heart. and then perhaps clarity will come later...


(this is a hilarious photo (maybe it's the tight blue pants and socks?). his hands are often together like they are here and his belly is always popping like it his here.

inside all of it, i feel an odd sense of peace. ever since true's reflux got under control (which is when i started to feel empowered as a new mama with instincts), it's been fairly smooth sailing. there are no more major crying fits and pain. he's just really quite smiley and mellow all day long with the normal fussiness in the evenings. he eats like a champ and sleeps very soundly at night, waking only to feed and go back to sleep. in comparison to those first few weeks when we were all desperate to find comfort, life is starting to (sort of) feel like our new normal is shaping up.


(he looks like a perfect blend of the two of us, i think. his eyes are a pretty blue and i wonder if they'll change. i could stare at him all day long)

maternity leave has been touch and go. it's been impossible to totally unplug from biz, but that's been okay, too. i think, for me, it's been extremely important to dip into parts of my life that make me fee like me. that means a little bit of blogging, social networking, painting, and business decisions/brainstorming/planning. finding small amts of time for these things have helped keep me afloat inside a new world that has felt extremely new and raw. they've reminded me that i'm still me, that i can slowly weave parts of my old life into my new life. it's also been really good to take a solid and much needed break from my old life, too and just dip in when i've needed the grounding. but maternity leave is coming to a close soon after the holidays and my head is seriously spinning with all that is coming down the pipe in early 2011, including a bit project that will involve all of YOU! it feels amazing to have so much inspiration right now inside all of this new.


(that's me in the middle of painting day downstairs. my hair is getting so long, i wonder when i'll make it to the salon. i've been cutting my own bangs.)

the other day someone asked me to explain what i do. i told them i was an artist, an author, and a possibilitarian. why a possibilitarian? because crafting a life for ourselves in an art. being a possibilitarian is my roadmap to how i craft mine. and that's what it feels like i'm doing right now. i'm crafting a new life. and it's full of possibility. it really is.

words and mantras: a guest post from clare

as i continue to take maternity leave (a few more weeks left!), a few of my friends have written posts that i'd like to share. i'm loving that i'm having the opportunity to introduce you to some of the dearest people in my life. today's post comes from clare, one of my oldest friends. we met when we were 13 years old, when clare was crazy (and still is) over REM and i was crazy over her hair (love!). we lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same junior/high school, belonged to the same youth group, and were roommates in our early twenties. when clare moved from FL to seattle, my pal karen and i ventured out west to visit her. it was during that trip that i decided that i too would move out west. clare's always been a big sister to me (even if just a few months older) and i i've long admired the way she charms the world. she's the girl we all want to be around, always. and i should mention that she makes the best mix tapes in the world and has the best dance moves of anyone i know. yes, indeed.

earlier this year, when i was about 4 months pregnant, clare gave birth to her second son, Ranier. i happened to be in nyc just days after his birth and was able to spend a little time with him - photo below (he's so tiny!). it's hard to believe that my friendships, like the one i share with clare, have traveled so long in this journey of life. that we have grown up together. and now that i'm a new mama, the growing up together seems to be taking on another layer. i am so grateful. i love what clare writes below and know you will love it too - the mantras apply to all transitions in life, i think, whether it's new mamahood, new move, new marriage, new new new anything.

karen, theo (clare's first baby), me - NYC

I am so deeply honored to have been asked to write in this space. I am a faithful follower of this blog, both because I love Kelly's art and the open way in which she shares her journey, and also because Kelly is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We met in junior high, lived in the same neighborhood, rode the same bus and as we got older discovered a mutual love of the same indie rock bands and a deep, abiding, unabashed adoration of Oprah Winfrey. To this day she is the only person to whom I can start a sentence, "Well, on Oprah the other day..." only to have her say with excitement, "Oh my gosh! I saw that too!"

When True was born I sent Kelly and John a book that I was given upon the birth of my second child. It's called Mommy Mantras: Affirmations and Insights to Keep You from Losing Your Mind by Bethany E. Casarjian, Ph.D and Diane H. Dillon, Ph.D. To look at it one might think it's another trite, precious book of quotes about motherhood from famous women. It is nothing of the sort. When I mailed it to Kelly and John I considered flagging a few of the mantras I found most helpful but I thought better of it realizing they would find the ones that spoke to them. But here in this space I am going to backpedal on that decision. Revisiting the book as I prepared to write this I flagged no fewer than 18 mantras. There are only 70 in the entire book. So, I have narrowed my focus to those that speak to Kelly as the mother of a newborn, that speak to those raw feelings she has so beautifully expressed, the feelings of overwhelming love, of overwhelming exhaustion, of newness, of fear and also to some feelings that might be lurking around the corner.

clare, baby Ranier, me - earlier this year in nyc

The first is Breathe, now. So simple yet so perfect. In those moments when the baby is screaming his head off for no apparent reason, when you and John are so tired you begin to hear the tension in the way you speak to one another, when you are feeling like you are losing all control of what was once a perfectly good, normal, life - breathe, now. Make that space in your heart, mind and soul and even the tiniest sliver of clarity that seeps in will make all the difference.

Trust your gut. We hear it again and again but somehow as new parents in charge of such a small, helpless little being, we so often opt not to trust our gut but to trust what we read online. Or what our parents say. Or the pediatrician. Not to say doctors don't know their stuff but it's amazing how quickly we learn our children and we will always know them better than anyone. Kelly, I know you have already had your instincts confirmed and at 6 weeks that is remarkable. Keep listening.

I took the vow. This is one of my personal favorites in the book. In Mommy Mantras Casarjian and Dillon compare becoming a mother with becoming a bodhisattva, "an enlightened being who works to lead all humanity out of suffering and toward enlightenment." A bodhisattva takes a vow to put the well-being of others before himself no matter how poorly he is treated or how unappreciated he may be. As the parent of a 4-year old, I cling to this mantra when the whining and demanding start to escalate, when the manners I have worked so hard to instill go out the window. But it also works for parents of an infant. An infant who has no idea that waking up every two hours is making anyone suffer. I took the vow is a simple reminder that we chose to be parents and we are forever committed to our children and their well-being.

These next two mantras are for what I foresee coming down the road, when maternity leave ends, when the demands of the real world can no longer be ignored or pushed aside, when the lists start rearing their ugly heads again. No task more supreme. I am a stay-at-home mom and for the first few years of my first child's life I felt guilty about it. I grew up in a feminist household, reading Ms. Magazine and imagining myself as a career woman. Never in a million years would I be a stay-at-home mom. But I am. And one day I made peace with myself by realizing that parenting is my job. That raising another human being to be a force of good in this world means something. Kelly, you have created a thriving, successful business for yourself and I know you are passionate about it but remember when you re-enter that world and begin to feel pulled in so many different directions, it's OK to turn it all off for awhile to just be with your child. There is no task more supreme.

Finally, grab an end. One of the authors tells the story of needing to move a very heavy picnic table. She doesn't think twice about asking someone to help her, to grab an end. So why do we as mothers so often feel like we can carry the load of raising children by ourselves? Don't be shy about asking for help. Maybe it's help watching the baby, maybe it's just needing to talk something through with someone. Don't try to do all the heavy lifting alone.

So my sweet Kelly Rae, those are my thoughts from mother to mother. I am so happy to have you on this road with me. In only six weeks, you have already taught me so many new things. I love you

wings, tutus, thanksgiving, and more

yesterday, my mom sent over this iphone photo of her holiday decor angel. man. she always comes up with the best decorating ideas. i'm inspired. and now, because of this photo, i'm on the hunt for a dress form so i can get crafty. last year she did something similar but instead of wings, she gave it a tutu which i also LOVED. here's last years version:



i know, right? GORGEOUS!

this year john and i are totally and fully decorating for the holidays. maybe it's because it's baby true's first christmas. maybe it's because we finally have a home that feels permanent. maybe it's because my heart feels the magic more than ever before. whatever the reason, i want white lights everywhere and vintage ornaments and trees and garland and holiday music. so that's exactly what i've been doing the last couple of days: decorating, puttering, shopping at the junk stores for vintage christmas decor, and obsessing over where to put what. it's been so fun. feeling really inspired and feeling really good to dip back into some creative energy.



in between all of that, we had the loveliest thanksgiving i can remember in recent years. just the three of us. john cooked while true and i hung out. we had a fire all day long. we had christmas classics on all day long. we danced in the living room. we took our time. and even though true woke up the second we finally sat down to enjoy our warm meal, and even though our thanksgiving dinner would be interrupted a gazillion times, we enjoyed every moment. the toasting, the clinking of our glasses, the kisses, the shared stories of what we're most thankful for. it was awesome.

what i'm learning in this new journey is that i have to pay super close attention to the details and to let my heart and soul get swept away in their tiny beauties. otherwise, i'm annoyed or frustrated or feeling defeated. this is a serious practice and i'm practicing 24/7. the tears are still plentiful, yes indeed. i'm going with it. i'm trying not to judge myself, over analyze, or wonder when i'll feel totally like myself again. i'm just working hard to trust this experience and lean into the gifts in between all the details. and there are so many gifts.



ps: i'd like to thank jo packman and everyone over at where women create magazine for featuring my artwork on the last page of the current issue. it looks amazing and i always love working with such wonderful editors (seriously, do i live this life? - so thankful). this magazine is a must must if you haven't already scooped it up. jo is also the co-creator of the creative connection event. i missed the first one as i was giving birth to baby true, but i'll be at the next one in 2011, yes, indeed. already looking forward to it!