Michael Lee Stallard's Blog, page 10

Terryberry to Host Connection Culture Webinar

Connection is more important than ever during this time of remote work and rising stress, which is why I’m excited to be working with the team at Terryberry to provide a free webinar focused on building a Connection Culture. 

In the webinar, Katharine Stallard and I will help you to learn:

your current level of connection
how connection affects your emotional and physical health
a simple, memorable and actionable model to create the best work culture, and
connection tips you can start putting into practice right away that will help you and your organization thrive.

Webinar Details

Topic: Remote Work, Rising Stress and the Critical Need for a Culture of Connection
Date: Thursday, November 5, 2020
Time: 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. EST

Learn More and Register

You can learn more about the event and register for free at this address.

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

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October 1st Webcast for Wharton Alumni Clubs

On October 1st from 11:45 am – 1:15 pm ET, I’ll be presenting on Connection Culture to the Wharton Alumni Association Clubs. The event is hosted by the Wharton Alumni DC chapter. It’s free for Wharton Alumni members and $19 for non-members.

Learn more and sign up to attend at this link.

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Connect to Protect Yourself from Harm of Social Isolation

This excellent New York Times article, “We’re All Socially Awkward Now,” makes a compelling case that ongoing social isolation due to the physical separation required during the COVID-19 pandemic is diminishing connection skills and having a negative impact on emotional and physical health.

Research on isolation of inmates shows those who coped best understood that social isolation was not good for them. Instead, they intentionally connected with others by writing letters, etc.

How are you safely connecting with others throughout the pandemic?

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10 Books Recommended for National Book Lover’s Day

"Connection Culture" makes the list

Today is National Book Lover’s Day. To celebrate, Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of The Connector’s Advantage, recommended Connection Culture as one of her 10 favorite books.

Here’s the list:

The Empathy Edge – Maria Ross


The Membership Economy – Robbie Kellman Baxter


How Women Rise – Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith
Stand Out – Dorie Clark
Pause – Rachael O’Meara


What Do I Say Next – Susan RoAne


Ask Powerful Questions – Will Wise and Chad Littlefield


Connection Culture – Michael Lee Stallard


Croissants Vs. Bagels – Robbie Samuels


The Digital Mystique – Sarah Granger

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Does Any Law Firm Have a Healthy Work Culture?

Earlier this year, health law attorney Jay McEniry wrote in the American Bar Association’s The Health Lawyer about the need for greater human connection in the practice of law. He cited an article I wrote for SmartBrief. Here’s Mr. McEniry’s article: “Chair’s Column” Addressing Our Loneliness Epidemic.”

For the 3rd edition of our book, Connection Culture, I’d like to profile a law firm that values and intentionally cultivates human connection in its culture. Sadly, I’m unaware of any that fit this description. The law firms I’ve observed over the last 30 years have cultures that are disconnecting because they are a mix of cultures of control and cultures of indifference. As a result, many lawyers are lonely and/or socially isolated, and they struggle with anxiety, depression and addiction.

Does anyone out there have suggestions about law firms with healthy work cultures and leaders who care about people and results? If so, please let me know. I can be reached at mike@connectionculture.com.

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How to Prepare for Rising Stress Ahead

When a big storm is forecast to come our way, Katie, my wife, starts to plan ahead, just in case we lose power: non-perishable food in the pantry (check), flashlights with working batteries (check), gas in the car (check), some cash on hand (check). She reminds family members to charge up their phones and laptops. The havoc the storm may, or may not, cause is unknown but she has taken proactive steps to get us through.

If you travel by air, you’re acquainted with the standard safety instructions that are demonstrated by flight attendants before the plane takes off. Among other things, you are given a heads-up about what to do with oxygen masks and life vests and how to find the nearest exit. Hopefully, the flight will not encounter such turbulence that the oxygen masks drop down, but it’s good to be mentally prepared. All just in case.

Stress is in the air. No surprise, the level of stress Americans are feeling has risen since the outbreak of Covid-19, according to the American Psychological Association’s annual stress survey. The report shows we’re stressed over Covid-19, the future of America, and the economy and work. Parents with children at home and people of color are reporting the highest levels of stress.

This fall, it’s foreseeable that stress will increase even further. Conditions are right for “storm clouds” to form.

Three factors, in particular, are on my radar screen. First, the approaching flu season could spell trouble if the pandemic is still in full swing. Second, the upcoming U.S. elections in November will likely exacerbate anxieties, given the volatile political environment and inevitable stoking of fears by some politicians. Third, the economic downturn coupled with a recent run-up of stock market prices increases the risk of a stock market correction, a particular concern for individuals relying on their investments to fund their children’s education or their retirement. (And for those who live near the Gulf of Mexico or along the Eastern seaboard, you have an added stressor of the threat of literal storms: hurricane season runs until November.)

Will all these factors converge? I believe the probability of at least two out of three factors happening is more likely than not. Now, I’m not here to offer financial advice or political commentary. My area of focus is group culture and what it takes for individuals and groups to thrive. From that vantage point, here are things to think about as you look toward the fall.

‍Recognizing the Ways People Deal With Stress

Short-term stress is one thing. You have to give a public speech and it makes you nervous to take the microphone in front of a crowd—you’re starting to sweat, your mouth goes dry, you’re doubting whether you can remember the order of the points you want to make. Once the speech is over, the stressful feelings and physical reactions subside.

You may be familiar with the phrase “fight or flight” that describes how a person might react to an acute (short-term) stress that is perceived as threatening, such as being attacked. During a state of stress response, the human body reallocates resources, including blood, glucose and oxygen, to bodily systems that it expects to use for fight or flight, including the heart, lungs and thighs, while reducing those same resources to the digestive system, immune system, reproductive system and parts of the brain.

Unlike acute stress, chronic stress is ongoing. The health, political and economic stressors I cite above are likely to produce chronic stress in which people ruminate about matters that feel threatening to them.

In a state of chronic stress, people often cope by turning to addictive behaviors and substances to numb or manage their emotions. Chronic stress can also bring about lethargy and depression as the body shuts down to cope with feelings of being overwhelmed.

Another unhealthy coping mechanism you should be on the lookout for is displacement, which entails a person striking out at someone else to relieve his or her own feelings of stress. Forms of striking out include verbal aggression, sexual aggression or non-sexual physical aggression, all of which reduce the perpetrator’s stress but harm others. The victim may be somehow related to the cause of the stress or an innocent by-stander.

You should also be aware that individuals who have been traumatized are more likely to misinterpret events as threats, even though they aren’t, so as a result they’re more vulnerable to stress and their reactions may be disproportionate.

The healthiest response to threat and stress is to connect with others. Don’t worry alone. Don’t go it alone. UCLA’s Shelly Taylor, Ph.D. described this as “Tend and Befriend.”

‍Leading Well Through a Time of Anticipated Turbulence

Effective leaders continually look ahead, scanning the horizon for opportunities as well as possible disruptive challenges or threats, and they prepare to address them. Here are a few actions you can take to ready yourself and your team to cope with potentially rising stress levels.

1. Take care of yourself.

You need to stay grounded and stable, for your own sake and also for the sake of family, friends or colleagues who count on you. It brings to mind the instructions from flight attendants to put on your own oxygen mask first before providing assistance to people near you. You can’t give what you don’t have. I offer some tips about how you can increase connection and resilience in your life in this article on why relational connection is so important during the Covid-19 pandemic.

2. Get a flu shot as soon as it’s available.

It’s a preventive step recommended by physicians I respect and it will reduce your risk of simultaneously getting the flu and Covid-19. Encourage others to do the same.

3. Stay on guard against Covid-19.

Covid-19 fatigue is setting in, but don’t let that be the case for you and the people you are responsible for leading. Dr. Herb Pardes, a well-respected psychiatrist and former CEO of New York Presbyterian health system, once said, “I anthropomorphize sickness and disease. I treat it as an evil enemy that I want to slay before it hurts family and friends.” Having the mindset that your actions can protect you and those around you will help you stay in the fight to stop this virus on its destructive path. The good news is that if we remain diligent by wearing a face mask when in public, washing our hands frequently, maintaining a physical distance from those who are outside our bubble of safety and regularly cleaning frequently touched surfaces there is a much lower risk we will contract Covid-19.

4. Keep connected to people you care about and those you’re responsible for leading at work.

Check in on them frequently. Ask questions, get them talking and listen attentively, especially if you sense they are anxious. The way our brains work, being in a dialogue calms nerves and helps people remain rational by engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain where we make rational decisions and quieting activity in the amygdala where we process threats and where we are more likely to make rash decisions.

5. Be on the lookout for people in your group who are moving themselves to the edges.

If you see someone who is withdrawing, reach out to them. Encourage them to share what they are thinking and how they are feeling. Showing you care and giving them a voice will help calm their fears and draw them back in.

6. Communicate an optimistic attitude that’s grounded in realism.

There are many reasons to be optimistic that over the next year we are likely to make significant progress in the global fight against Covid-19. Already we’ve seen that the practice of proning (having a patient lying face down rather than on his or her back) and the administration of the steroid dexamethasone to seriously ill Covid-19 patients can significantly reduce the risk of death. Additional therapeutics may be discovered that will lower the risk even more. A vaccine or two may be widely available within the next twelve months.

This is a challenging season we are in. Now is a good time to take an honest look at how you are handling your current level of stress and consider what adjustments and proactive steps you should take as we head toward the fall. For some people you know, rising stress may threaten to overwhelm them. I firmly believe you can make a positive difference by helping the people you lead get through this season and realize a brighter future ahead.

Photo by  sydney Rae  on  Unsplash.

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American Cancer Society Hosts Virtual Connection Culture Training

Katie Stallard and I were delighted to see the reaction to the virtual training we did to kick off the American Cancer Society’s virtual Leadership Institute Network Series. Here’s what Kristine Revelle, Senior Consultant, Learning, at the American Cancer Society wrote about it:

“At the American Cancer Society, we were excited to kick off our new virtual Leadership Institute Network series with Michael and Katie Stallard presenting on the need for leaders to cultivate cultures of connection. The program got rave reviews from our leaders and evaluation comments included: 

‘This was the best hour I have spent this week!’ 
‘The presentation was very thought provoking and the idea of connection critically important.’   
‘More like these. I was inspired by today’s call… today was recharging!’  
‘[The Stallard’s] story is inspiring and the information provided incredibly helpful and thought provoking.’  
‘The presentation today was outstanding, I need to learn more.’   
‘Such a timely topic!’    
‘Really great topic and speakers-thank you!!!!!'”

For more information on booking us for your organization’s or professional association’s next virtual training, please contact Robin Wolfson of the Robin Wolfson Agency.

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Protecting Remote Workers’ Productivity and Performance

Practically overnight the vast majority of office workers became remote workers when social distancing measures put in place in March to slow the spread of the Covid-19 virus dramatically changed the way we go about our days. If that was you, over the last several months, you have had a taste of the long-touted benefits of remote work—no commute (a savings of nearly an hour a day for the average American plus the cost of commuting) and flexibility. You may also be wrestling with the challenges of blurred lines between company time and personal time, and how to effectively collaborate with colleagues who are no longer down the hall.

Early on, these office-turned-remote workers may have put in longer hours and worked hard to show they were being productive in the changing environment. It’s temporary, they may have told themselves. If layoffs might be coming, I need to prove myself now. Leaders who may have previously resisted extending the option of remote work to employees out of a concern that it will negatively impact productivity were relieved to see the opposite. Maybe having a largely remote workforce is not so bad… Running at that pace, though, is not sustainable and can lead to burnout.

Even as restrictions begin to ease and it becomes possible to return to the office, we are seeing more organizations announce that working from outside a shared workplace will continue on. The open question is whether this change will payoff for individuals and for organizations. What do we need to watch out for to preserve the health and viability of all parties?

Productivity is clearly a concern. Related to that is collaboration and innovation. A shared physical workplace allows for opportunities to gather around a whiteboard or someone’s laptop to bounce ideas back and forth. And how many of us have had an “aha moment” that sprang from a casual conversation by the coffee maker or an insight gleaned by asking that quick question as you stood in the doorway of someone’s office? It’s in these collective and sometimes organic interactions where a collision of ideas may produce new processes, products, and services. Working alone in front of your laptop most of the day, and communicating through screens and over the phone changes things.

Beware Virtual Distance

In this time of transition, and as more of us remain being colleagues working remotely, a risk to be aware of is what Professor Karen Sobel-Lojesky has identified as “virtual distance.” Virtual distance has three components: physical distance; operational distance, including such conditions as poor internet connections and technical problems; and affinity distance that prevents deeper connections from developing. Her research has found that too much time spent interacting via screens can result in a myopic mindset that sets in so that people miss the big picture and context of their work.

According to Sobel-Lojesky, increased virtual distance results in a connectivity paradox: as more people are connected virtually, they feel increasingly isolated. Sobel-Lojesky and her colleagues have found that when virtual distance is relatively high, a number of negative effects arise, including:

innovative behaviors decline by more than 90%,
trust declines by more than 80%,
cooperative and helping behavior decline by more than 80%, and
project success drops by more than 50%.

Clearly, experiencing high virtual distance is going to be a drag on engagement and productivity. So, what can leaders do to address virtual distance? If ongoing physical distance is now part of the business strategy, leaders should consider which teams truly need to work in person together and how to do that safely. They should consider options that allow smaller groups to come together occasionally. If operational distance is an issue, technical problems should be addressed.

The most gains will come from addressing the affinity distance. Working remotely makes it more likely that the organization’s culture will default to one of indifference. As we describe in our book Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work, in a culture of indifference people are so focused on tasks that they fail to develop supportive relationships and bonds of connection that are necessary to thrive and do their best work for a sustained period of time. The risk of increased virtual distance makes being intentional about developing a connection culture all the more important.

Make Personal Connections

How we value one another as unique individuals and treat each other with respect, as opposed to as means to an end, is a foundational aspect of a connection culture. Because of that, one of the actions we highly recommend is for supervisors and colleagues to invest time in getting to know more about each other. Professor Ashley Elizabeth Hardin’s research on personal knowledge has found that getting to know about colleagues’ lives outside of work “leads to a more individuated, humanized perception of the known colleague, which results in increased responsiveness and decreased social undermining.” Psychologist James Pennebaker has found that when you get people to talk, they feel more connected to you, like you more, and believe they learn more from you.

To reduce the affinity distance, adopt the mindset that fostering healthy and supportive relationships with your colleagues smooths the way for working well together and fueling collaboration. Being interested in the people on your team may come naturally to you but others may need to adjust an attitude of “Work is work. I don’t need, or actually want, to be friends with other employees.” Now, we’re not suggesting that everyone needs to be best friends! We do know that finding common ground or identifying a shared interest opens up the working relationship in a helpful way.

How well do you know your colleagues? Have you ever talked with them about their hopes and dreams, their interests outside of work, or past experiences that have shaped them? Do you actually know what is important to them or have you been making assumptions?

Here are two simple practices you could use on a video call with your team to help colleagues begin to get to know each other on a deeper level. In both, the person sharing has the freedom to be open to the extent that he or she feels comfortable.

When he was U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy incorporated a practice to boost connection called “Inside Scoop” and he saw it pay big dividends. As part of the weekly all-hands meeting, one individual would have five minutes to show a few photos related to his or her life and tell the others about them. Overtime, each participant took a turn. “In listening, in just five minutes, we got to see whole other dimensions of people we had not understood in working together for a year,” Murthy recounted in an interview. “People started treating each other differently, stepping out of their lanes and helping each other more. They felt they had been seen. It’s powerful as institutions to create simple opportunities like that to see each other clearly for who they are.” As a result of “Inside Scoop,” Murthy observed that people felt more valued when their colleagues learned about them on a more personal level, introverted individuals began speaking up more and taking more responsibility, people seemed less stressed, and they commented that they felt more connected.

Or you might consider trying what Maureen Bisognano did when she was president and CEO of Institute for Healthcare Improvement. Before getting down to business, she began each Monday morning meeting with the senior executive team by asking each person to take up to two minutes and share one good thing. Most of the time, the good things were personal memories of something that happened over the weekend with family or friends.

Before the Covid-19 pandemic caused such upheaval, stress and loneliness were already high. Add to that, new concerns for our health, the health of loved ones, and the health of the economy; the effects of being socially isolated; the stress of how work has changed, how divisive political discourse in an election year is polarizing, and how to move forward together with important societal issues we’re facing—that’s a lot all at once. We need others with whom we can talk and process how we are feeling.

Lacking meaningful connection to help us cope, ongoing stress and loneliness impairs how clearly we think, our quality of sleep, and our willpower to eat a healthy diet and exercise. It makes us more vulnerable to other stressors and we are more likely to have a more intense reaction to negatives. Disconnection is a super-stressor. Connection, on the other hand, helps protect us from stress. It is a superpower that also makes you smarter, happier, and more productive, according to UCLA neuroscience professor and author Matthew Lieberman.

Cultivating a connection culture and strengthening the bonds of connection will help you, your team, and the organization thrive. To protect productivity and performance, actively guard against “out of sight, out of mind.” Strive to keep the big picture in front of you so you’re guided and motivated by “here’s where we’re going, how we’re going to get there, and here’s my role and how I fit into the whole.” Be sure people have a voice and are contributing their ideas and perspectives. Take steps to be sure people feel they are valued as part of the team and begin by creating a safe environment in which people get to know and appreciate their colleagues as unique individuals.

Katharine P. Stallard is a co-author of this article. She is a partner of Connection Culture Group and a contributing author to Connection Culture.

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash.

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Burnout and the Importance of Connection

Appearance on The Mentors Radio Show

Recently, Katie Stallard and I had the opportunity to speak with Tom Loarie, host of the Mentors Radio Show, about career burnout and the role that connection plays in preventing it. It’s an important topic given the high stress levels that many professionals are experiencing today.

If you or someone you know is struggling with burnout, we hope the interview provides some helpful tips in getting back on a path to engagement and happiness. Listen to the full interview.

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Protecting Employees from Covid-19 through Connection

How can we protect people in the workplace so they don’t contract Covid-19? The Centers for Disease Control just released guidelines for offices that include temperature and symptom checks; encouraging employees who have Covid-19 symptoms or sick family members to stay home; prohibiting hand-shaking, hugs, and fist bumps; wearing face coverings; physical distancing of work stations (or separation by plastic shields); and eliminating seating in common areas.

Will people follow-through and do their part for the good of the whole? What can be done to increase compliance with these and other requirements so that the risk of virus transmission is minimized?  

Mass General Brigham has kept Covid-19 cases at a minimum among its 75,000 employees despite being in Boston, one of America’s hotspots for the disease, and treating sick patients. In a recent article, Dr. Atul Gawande, the noted surgeon and author, described in detail the hospital system’s four-part strategy combining hygiene, distancing, screening, and masks. Dr. Gawande writes that culture is a fifth element in order to achieve success and it is “arguably the most difficult.” It’s culture that moves people who know what to do, to actually do it.

How do we cultivate the type of culture that motivates people to care about others and, as Dr. Gawande described,“rigorously and thoroughly” comply with the tasks that minimize virus transmission? Diligence in undertaking the protective tasks will be especially important as workplace research shows that virus transmission overwhelmingly occurs inside buildings. Furthermore, periodic forced isolation from resurgences of Covid-19 may lead to dopamine-driven cravings for connection that will make it more difficult for people to maintain the willpower to adhere to protective practices. A pent-up desire to socialize will lead some to ignore guidelines. We saw that over Memorial Day weekend with videos of people congregating on beaches or packed together at a pool party.

‍Moving from Me to We

Dr. Gawande points out in his article that properly wearing a mask at all times is primarily to prevent the wearer from transmitting a virus to others when he or she sneezes, coughs, and talks. The mask is a barrier to protect you, not me. In other words, it’s our regard for others that motivates us to be diligent about properly wearing a mask. And here’s where the issue of culture in the workplace comes in.

For many years now, we have been helping organizations develop healthy, high-performing relational cultures where people expand from operating primarily out of self-interest to also caring about others and their group as a whole. We’ve learned relational cultures can be thought of as falling into three types and that it’s not uncommon for organizations to have a mix of relational subcultures if left unchecked.

The first type of relational culture is the culture of control where those with power rule over the rest. Implicitly or explicitly, the leader conveys, “Do as I tell you or suffer the consequences.” People comply with the dictates of those in power but some will work against the interests of the organization (Gallup describes these employees as “actively disengaged” and estimates they represent 13% of the U.S. workforce).

The second type of relational culture is a culture of indifference where people are so busy with tasks that they don’t take time to develop and maintain supportive relationships. In both cultures of control and cultures of indifference, people are more likely to act out of self-interest, especially if they feel left out, lonely, or undervalued. They don’t feel leadership actually cares about them as a person or they see that care as lukewarm at best.

The third type of relational culture is a culture of connection. In a culture where connection is cultivated, people feel a sense of community on their team or in the organization, and they feel connected to their supervisor, colleagues, and the people they serve through their work. The bond people experience makes it more likely they care about others, and will act and contribute in ways that benefit the group.

It is our expectation that in cultures of control and cultures of indifference, where people feel disconnected or ambivalent about their coworkers, people are less likely to be internally motivated to rigorously and thoroughly comply with the CDC’s standards. In cultures of connection, however, the communal bond makes it more likely people will be diligent about complying with the protective practices.

‍Cultivating Connection in a Work Culture

Bonds of connection in an organizational culture arise from shared identity, empathy, and understanding. We developed a simple, memorable, and actionable framework to help leaders cultivate a culture of connection. Put simply, connection is formed and maintained when leaders:

communicate a vision that unites people
value people as human beings rather than thinking of and treating them as means to an end, and
give people a voice in matters that are important to them.

An easy way to remember it is Vision +Value + Voice = Connection.

In organizations that have a high degree of connection from the element of vision, people benefit from a shared identity that inspires and motivates them. You’ll often see leaders communicate a vision that is prosocial in nature. Examples include Costco’s “Do the Right Thing,” TCU’s “Lead On,” Yale New Haven Health System’s “Healthier Together,” and New York-Presbyterian’s “Amazing Things Are Happening Here.”

In organizations that have a high degree of connection from valuing people, you’ll find a tendency to hire managers and leaders who have a genuine interest in people, a practice of paying people fairly and providing generous benefits, and a commitment to invest in training and developing employees to achieve their potential. Because they care about employees’ wellbeing, they don’t tolerate jerks.

In organizations that have a high degree of connection from giving people a voice, colleagues are generous about sharing information, supervisors keep people informed about matters that are important to them, and leaders seek the opinions and ideas of others and actually consider them before making decisions. People have the ability to “be in the loop” and they feel heard.

In addition, our research and the research of others has found that connection boosts employee engagement, increases strategic alignment, improves decision-making, increases innovation, and makes organizations more agile and adaptable. A culture with a high degree of connection is a win-win for individuals and the group as a whole.

Today, because of the abrupt shift to remote work and sheltering at home, people are more acutely aware of their need for connection. We’re optimistic that this will lead to greater connection going forward as well as an awareness on the part of leaders of the necessary role that connection plays in the health and performance of individuals and organizations.

Katharine P. Stallard is a co-author of this article. She is a partner of Connection Culture Group and a contributing author to Connection Culture.

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

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