Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 424

Learning From My Mistakes: 4 Things I Want Our Kids to Remember

I figure the statute of limitations on telling my most embarrassing moment has run its course, so maybe I can repeat the story with confidence knowing there will be no retribution by any parties involved. But as with anything in life, there are lessons to be learned from my mistakes….

I’ve been known to drop my children off at school carpool while I was still in my pajamas. Here is my flawed reasoning for doing so: We live very close to the school; I don’t wear scandalous pajamas; and I would...

All I Need to Tell My Kids is in Their Childhood Books

I sat on my bed, pen at the ready, trying to think of something to write that hadn’t been said in random texts and snapchats that week. When I was in college, I loved getting mail. It changed the energy of the day, the voice on the paper coming from afar. I still have them, tucked away in a basement box. I don’t even need to read the letters to know who wrote them; the shapes of the letters are enough. Time was running out for me to give this experience to my kids; one them was already in his...

Was I the Best Mother I Could Be?

I friend recently tagged me on the Facebook Motherhood Challenge. It’s a feel-good activity: you post a picture that makes you proud/happy to be a mother and then tag other friends to post their pictures. Normally I love Facebook photos – beautiful babies, newly minted teenage drivers, pictures of weddings and graduations, even the ubiquitous selfies! However, I’m still processing our son’s college drop off; I knew this separation was coming, but I, along with many other mothers, have ambival...

How to Tell Your Daughter Goodbye at College: 50 Steps to Take

So, it’s been just over a month since you dropped your child off at college! How many checklists did you make? How many trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond? I bet there were more than you can count. Some of you prepared for months, other for days. Either way, you had to tell your daughter goodbye and yes, you had to come home without your child. Suddenly, all the checklists about bed sheets and notebooks didn’t seem all that important anymore. No amount of planning could have prepared you for what...

College Rankings and How They Create False Hope

It’s fall in America. Besides resisting the urge to buy Halloween candy in September, we are again faced with college application season, and the strategically timed release of the latest U.S. News and World Report’s Best College Rankings.

It is nice to see that this list is actually dozens of lists now. There are rankings provided for “Most Innovative Schools”, “A-Plus Schools for B Students,” and for almost every unique field of study. Over the years, we have all come to acknowledge that...

Missing What’s Not Missing

I have a confession to make. For the past few years I’ve been consumed with my older daughter’s college journey. From the emotional turmoil of graduation, the preparations for college, and the adjustment of living a day-to-day life without her for the past two years, it seems I’ve neglected a few things.

Like my younger daughter.

Not literally, of course. She’s gotten as much attention from being the only child at home as you’d expect a girl whose mom is using her to compensate for her unbal...

Preparing for College is Bringing My Family Closer

She has come back to us, if only briefly.

She was the little girl who fought bedtime to stay up with us a little longer, who told me I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her. The girl who seemed to have a flashing neon sign turned on throughout childhood: Engage with me. Engage. Engage.

Suddenly though, at age 14, while I was wrapping my head around the idea that we only had four more years with her, she disappeared into her bedroom and stayed there, as if she had already gone...

When You See That Your College Kid Has Found Their Tribe

My son has been away at college for about a month now. Hard to believe, but the calendar doesn’t lie. Here at home, we are still adjusting to the reality of his being gone, each in our own way. And judging by his smile in every picture he’s texted, I believe our son is happier than he’s been in a long time.

My wife and I are so thrilled to see this. The high school years were not always happy ones for our son. He’s very outgoing and optimistic and gets along great with adults. I can’t count h...

When Your Daughter Calls: “I Want to Let You Know I’m OK But…”

To be a mom is to continually manage the fierce mama bear feelings that make us want to sprint to our child’s rescue, kiss away their tears, and band-aid away their pain. How do we know when to act on this instinct? And how to know when to push our internal pause button in order to give them the space they need to pick themselves up when they fall and, as they get older, to lean on other support systems they’ve developed?

We don’t always know. But our hearts will guide us if we really listen....

College Care Package Party: How to Really Surprise Kids

College kids love the care packages that their parents mail from home. But what happens when they rip open a box to discover that the goodies have been sent from someone else’s mom? Forty kids, all graduates from Ridgewood High School in Ridgewood, New Jersey, were treated to a surprise this week when their moms gathered together for a college care package party. Their mothers picked names out of a hat, assembled a box of treats, and tucked in a personal note of encouragement to a freshman wh...