Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 396

I Failed as a Helicopter Parent: Am I Wrong to be Sad?

They say that a mother’s job is to teach her children not to need her anymore. And intellectually I get it –  my whole job as a parent is to prepare my children to function independently in the world, to make their own choices, to know their own minds, blah blah blah.  But I have to be honest, I think I over delivered.  Deep down, I wanted to be a helicopter parent.  Or more accurately, I wanted my children to need helicoptering. But honestly, I am devastated that they stopped needing me – wa...

When Your High School Senior is Too Sick for College

I assumed my daughter would go to college.

She got the highest SAT scores of anyone she knew.  She had a 4.0 average.  She was smart and fun and kind and pretty.  We even saved up enough money to pay for four years of college.

We looked at universities that offer a creative writing major and are near the ocean.

We found one.

Of course we thought she was going to college.

But she had become increasingly tired.  When I trace it back, her decrease in energy started as a freshman in high school....

This Is What Coming Home Looks Like After Freshman Year

I wander around my unusually clean kitchen, killing time before I get to pick up my son from the airport. He has just finished his freshman year in college, and something that feels like relief floods my nervous system. I haven’t seen him in two months, so I try to imagine what he’s going to look like standing on the curb outside American Airlines.  He’ll probably need a haircut, and 50/50 he’ll be wearing pajamas. We have different ideas about what counts as appropriate attire for air travel...

When it’s Time to Say Goodbye to the Backyard Swing Set

I’d seen pictures of them in the newspaper, seen them in other people’s yards, on TV, in magazines. But, I never really thought we’d actually get one – they were so fancy and expensive. However, it didn’t take long to realize we just had to have one. Our yard had plenty of room, and the rust bucket of a swing set we acquired upon buying the house was toast. Our kids – ages 6, 4 and 2 – were aged just right for us to get a decent return on our investment. It was a bit beyond our budget but my...

How To Prevent Your Kids From Driving You Nuts This Summer

And just like that another college year has gone by, which can only mean one thing – THEY ARE HOME FOR THE SUMMER. As parents, we’re both relieved and excited they’ve safely completed another year of higher education, and are back under our roof. And then reality sets in, when they roll into the house like sherpas (huge loads of random – and dirty – belongings on their backs) which they promptly drop smack dab in your foyer on their way to the refrigerator. Ahh, it’s good to have them back! U...

Homesick: Turns Out, I Hated The Time Away From My Kids

Last week, I was on an island in the Pacific Northwest with four other writers. It was our fourth trip together – a week-long vacation I take once a year to focus on my writing, spend time with friends, and give myself a break from the grueling schedule that comes with being a mom who works inside and outside the home. The goal was to spend my time away recovering from the constant push and pull of motherhood, not having to be the only person in my house who knows when homework is due, makes...

Joining a Fraternity: What My Son Needs to Think About First

As the parent of a college-bound son who will be deciding whether or not to join a fraternity in the next few months, here are some issues I hope to raise, or re-visit, with him before he embarks on his college experience. (These are matters that are applicable to both males and females, who may be joining any number of activities beginning in adolescence.)

1. Think about your personal boundaries when it comes to pranks, “traditions,” and so-called bonding activities. 

2. How do you intend...

The Gift I Need To Give My Children So Their Wings Are Real

Ever since a technician spread cold gel on my belly and showed me a glimpse of my first baby—now midway through high school—fluttering in fluid on a screen, I was all in for the wildest flight of my life. Despite vague awareness that in a few months she’d be tearing open my narrow pelvic canal, I swooned over her little organs, muscles, hormones and limbs and pledged my heart to her forever.

Rip out of me she did. And so did her younger brother and sister in years after.  But If I thought tha...

To My Daughter As She Leaves: Remember These 12 Things

One by one, my children unintentionally and innocently keep knocking the wind out of me. First my son flew the coop, now my daughter is about to do the same.

Our poor youngest child, who is a sophomore in high school, is afraid all her dad and I are going to do when her sister leaves in August is stare at her. To which I answer, “Yep. Pretty much.”

The youngest child always wants the attention until he or she actually has it. I think I had stage fright and forgot my parting lines when Jack l...

What Happened After My Son Dropped Out of College

I’d always believed that the biggest changes in my son’s life would happen when he was young. It seems like raising a child is a nonstop succession of stages, one after another. From diapers to walking to starting school to baseball practice to junior high to dating to driving – it all seems to go by in as much time as it took to write that sentence.

So it came as a surprise to me that so many changes would happen over the past year. Last June was my son’s high school graduation – a great ac...