David Vienna's Blog, page 92

To their friends, Harvey Danger is known as Hank Danger.

To their friends, Harvey Danger is known as Hank Danger.

Our first real trip since covid shut down the world

When the coronavirus forced everyone inside, we took that very seriously. Aside from a couple of day trips (one to the beach, one to get tacos), we haven’t had a single family trip that could be considered a vacation or anything. Because, though we’d love to sip piña coladas by a hotel pool, we like ourselves too much to risk getting covid and dying for it.

Larissa and the boys have barely been out of the house in a whole year. (And the only time I go out is to pick up groceries.)

We finally decided that there must be some sort of trip we could take that would be safe. So, I found a lakeside cabin for rent in a tiny little mountain town. The whole thing was contactless (the key to the place is left in a lockbox), it’s the off-season so the town is nearly empty, and all of the activities are outside.

There was one guy across the street, whose cabin bore a Trump flag, who saw us with our masks walking our pups and shouted that there was no mask mandate in town. I just waved and then he followed by telling us wearing them would “scare the neighbors,” Of course, the few neighbors we did see were all masked, so, y’know, the cheese stands alone, I guess.

Anyway, we made the boys leave their Nintendo Switches at home, so it has been a video game-free few days and both of them have marveled at how much fun they’re having. Like, wow, nature, am I right?

We walked around the lake and since there’s still some snow up here we let the boys try sledding. But, as Boone nursed a cut on his hand and Wyatt limped back to the cabin, we realized as born-and-bred L.A. kids, sledding wasn’t their forte.

And today we hiked up the damn mountain with our tiny dogs and got a magnificent view.

We head back home tomorrow. Larissa gets her second vaccine in about a week and I get my first around the same time. So, this kind of solitary vacation might be less of a necessity in a month or so, but I’m glad we did it. And so are the boys.

Just two bros hanging out by a lake in the mountains.

Just two bros hanging out by a lake in the mountains.

What in the ever-loving shit is this nonsense?

What in the ever-loving shit is this nonsense?

This was me in October of 2020. I’m not someone who ever cared about my appearance. And I mean that...

This was me in October of 2020. I’m not someone who ever cared about my appearance. And I mean that in a bad way. Clearly.

I saw my body as nothing more than a vessel for my brain. Sometimes that vessel was a tugboat or a bulldozer (occasionally it was a Lamborghini, but that was in college). Like, I never gave a shit about my physical body.

A couple of days after I took that photo, though, I realized I was overweight, unhealthy, and if my body was a vessel for my very awesome and truly amazing brain, my vessel — the tugboat — wouldn’t even get across the San Francisco bay.

I needed to make a change.

So, I started running because that was my default exercise when I was young, thanks to an asshole P.E. coach who had no other arrows in his quiver.

I started doing a very slow jog for a mile. I had NO GOAL. Not weight loss, not Jason Mamoa abs — just jogging. It was my thing. Mine. I owned it. A moment each day for myself.

I didn’t need to push myself to SWEAT or GRIND or whatever. I just jogged at a moderate pace for a mile. That’s it.

When that mile became easy, I added a half mile. And when that mile-and-a-half became easy, I added another half mile.

But, I didn’t weigh myself. Because that’s not why I was doing this.

There are a lot of weight loss gimmicks and fitness trends out there. And they all have milestones. FUCK MILESTONES! Especially ones created by some marketing asshole to sell more products, more services, more crap.

This photo is from a couple of days ago (please forgive the dirty mirror). Not a shockingly drastic change, but enough of one for me. I’m slimmer and more fit than I’ve been in decades and it wasn’t because I said, “I need to lose 20 pounds.” It’s because I said, “I’m going to exercise for me.”

Not for a goal.

Not to look like some pop star.

Not to reclaim my teen physique.

Just because I deserve it. It’s a daily gift I give myself.

I’m up to 2.5 miles per day (and I’m doing those at a 10-minute mile pace, which I couldn’t even do when I was a young buck). And I’ve added other exercises to my routine – weight lifting, sit-ups, blah, blah, blah. It’s been a little more than five months… and this just is my routine now. I get itchy on the random days when I can’t do it.

So, I don’t need a goal post. I just need a little time each day to work on my tugboat.

Unpopular Opinion

The movie Home Alone is not funny. At all.

Went through an old hard drive and found all of the production...

Went through an old hard drive and found all of the production shots, stills, and behind-the-scenes videos from the production of my short film The Happy People, for which I enlisted friends, acquaintances, and random drinking buddies to act, run cables, hold a boom, do low-level stunts, and nearly get arrested.

It premiered at the 2008 San Luis Obispo International Film Festival. Not bad for a bunch of reprobates like us.

Most of the residents in our neighborhood are wealthy conservatives. Most of them don’t wear a mask...

Most of the residents in our neighborhood are wealthy conservatives. Most of them don’t wear a mask unless forced to, So, at the grocery store they’re masked up, but out walking the dog they’re not. And I constantly see groups of unmasked people passing each other on the sidewalk as they do their morning walk or exercise or whatever.

And guess what?

Our neighborhood has the second-highest number of covid cases in our entire valley. The only area that has a higher rate is the one with the prison.

People are so fucking stupid.

How To Be An Adult

Make time for yourself. Relaxation and recreation are important to your physical and mental health.Use a digital calendar to schedule important stuff like when bills are due. Give yourself enough time to allow for any problems that may arise.Try new things, learn new skills. It keeps you from falling into a rut.Sacrifice an ox. Bathe in its blood to keep your skin feeling fresh.Sleep is critical for your productivity, mood, and even your weight management, so make sure you’re not pulling too many late nights.Exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous. Stay active by bowing before the elder gods.Find a daily mantra to motivate you, like “Hail the dark masters of the infinite cosmos, for they shall rise again.”
The horrors of the vast abyss will swallow us.Your body may react differently to foods you used to eat regularly, so be sure to pay attention to your digestive tract and get plenty of fiber.All is madness.All is darkness.

She shoves him out of the way and he just takes it.

She shoves him out of the way and he just takes it.