Lindsay Detwiler's Blog, page 58

Introvert is Not Synonymous With Creepy

Weekends: a time for social interactions, parties, adventures, and pure fun, especially if you���re in your twenties. My typical weekend: the couch, dinner, Netflix, and sitting with Henry and the cats.

As a teacher, I have to be somewhat outgoing, at least in front of the classroom. It���s certainly a social job. For forty-two minutes, I have to present information, get students engaged, and keep them mildly entertained so that they can perhaps agree to absorb Shakespeare and comma rules. I love it. I love interacting with the students, and I know that every day, we will share at least a few laughs.

Outside of the classroom, though, I���m a very different person. Gone is the outgoing, loudmouthed, witty girl. She is replaced by a somewhat mousey, quiet, I-enjoy-reading-with-my-cats persona. In social gatherings, I joke that I���m the creepy girl awkwardly meandering by the cheese table, snacking on appetizers instead of making conversation. In fact, I sometimes avoid social situations like the plague because I just hate having to meet new people and be social.

Truth be told, I���ve always had a touch of introvert in me. In school, I was the student who would ask if I could work on the project alone rather than have to deal with the complex interactions in a group setting. I had friends but not dozens. I was content with a select group of close friends. Partying was not in my vocabulary, ever. I was the girl in college who spent time in the library instead of at a wild get together (not that the Catholic college I attended really had any parties to speak of).

Even now, I prefer a night on my sofa to a night out. My favorite moments in the week are the moments sitting on the deck in solitude with a book or writing. For many, being alone is synonymous with sadness. For me, alone is synonymous with peace.

Don���t get me wrong . . .introvert shouldn���t be automatically associated with super creepy or anti-social. I enjoy talking to people. I don���t shake at the prospect of making eye contact with someone. I���m not that creepy of a cat lady . . .yet.

I recently watched a TED talk that explored the stigma that goes along with being an introvert. Our society values extroverts so much that we teach our children that they have to be one to succeed. We push group work and cooperation. Our current curriculums actually include standards for cooperation, discussion with others, and collaboration.

Are we making a mistake, though? Are we teaching our children that introversion is bad?

As the TED talk notes, some of the best, most brilliant people have been introverts, and some of the greatest inventions have come from them.

Being an introvert doesn���t mean you have to swear off the entire human race. It just means that you���re okay, even prefer, working, thinking, and being alone from time to time.

As a writer, I enjoy my introverted time. However, as I traverse into the world of being a published author, I���ve realized that the introverted persona doesn���t translate well to author-world. Being an author equates to being somewhat of a public figure, meaning you have to enter into the land of the extrovert, at least from time to time. You have to be willing to meet new people, to put your work out there, and to talk about your writing.

In the past few months, I���ve learned that introversion and extroversion can be married; they aren���t mutually exclusive. In fact, my newly found writing career has perhaps brought the best of both worlds together. I am free to pursue my introverted passion of writing while also enhancing the extrovert within through marketing.

Perhaps then, the mistake our society is making isn���t that it is teaching that extroversion is better���perhaps the true tragedy is that we are teaching children they must be one or the other. Perhaps we should be teaching our children that the most successful people have a piece of both.

Where do you stand on the introversion/extroversion debate?

The Dangerous Chef Round Two

Here goes round two of ���recipes even Lindsay can cook.��� These recipes are delicious but simple enough that you won���t burn the house down! Trust me . . .if I can pull them off, so can you!

Homemade Stuffing

1 bag of unseasoned, crunchy bread cubes (must be unseasoned and crunchy)

1 stick of butter, melted

A few sprinkles of celery salt

A container of chicken broth

Mix all ingredients together and put in casserole sprayed with cooking spray. Bake at 375 degrees for half hour to forty-five minutes. If stuffing mixture seems dry, add more melted butter. Be sure to include the celery salt. . .it���s what makes this recipe amazing!!

Cheese Potatoes

Ten potatoes peeled and sliced

A pound of American Cheese

A stick of Butter

Milk

Bread Crumbs

Celery Salt

Grease or spray a casserole dish. Begin layering the dish like lasagna: A layer of potatoes, a layer of cheese slices, a layer of bread crumbs, a few chunks of butter, some milk to dampen, and a sprinkle of celery salt. Keep repeating the layers until you get to the top. Cover the top with cheese, milk, bread crumbs, and celery salt. Bake for forty-five minutes at 375 degrees or until melted/gooey.

Peanut Butter Bars (NO Bake!!!!)

See the recipe here. They are amazing, addicting, and so easy!

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Peanut-Butter-Bars-I/

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Taco Salad

*This one has been in the family for a while. It is a party favorite!

Cook one pound of ground beef. Season with taco seasoning. Let cool completely before continuing!
In a large bowl, mix a large bag of lettuce, chopped tomatoes, cucumber, taco meet, shredded cheddar cheese, and a bottle of French dressing.
In a Ziploc baggie, crunch up Doritos into a fine crumble. I usually use about half of a large bag. Mix Doritos into the salad. Toss until combined with salad.
Helpful hint: Make this recipe right before your party so it doesn���t get soggy. Also, you may want to cut in half if it���s a small party; this recipe does not keep well, but it is so delicious you probably won���t have leftovers anyway!

Favorite Things

In high school, I used to love watching the Oprah���s Favorite Things show. I used to dream about one day being in that audience getting thousands of dollars of free things. Cars, fridges, designer scarves���it looked awesome to me. Then the Oprah Show ended, and so did my dream of accumulating Oprah���s selected items.

I have to admit, I still love getting free stuff. When I win a contest or even just get a great coupon, I get excited. I���ve heard so much criticism of America���s middle class because we are addicted to things. Psychologists psychoanalyze our need to amass material goods.

To an extent, I guess they���re right. So often in life, we become obsessed with adding to our collections, whether it be shoes, purses (especially Vera Bradley :) ), cars, dishes, or anything else we like. We fill our homes each week with something new. We try to move up the consumerism ladder to get more, better, shinier, more expensive, nicer things.

But does it really make us happy? Maybe that new eyeshadow or that fifty dollar face cream makes me feel confident for a few days. Sure, like any girl, I love the feeling of a new outfit and the compliments that sometimes accompany it. But, after a few days, I ultimately succumb to the general principle���after so long, the novelty wears off.

Thinking about this today, I started to question: if materialism doesn���t fulfill us, then what does? It���s easy to say that consumerism leads to emptiness, but it���s another thing to offer a solution.

And then I took a look at Henry.

He is, by far, happier than me on any given day. No matter what we are doing, he is content. People often comment that he always looks like he���s smiling.

It may be a stretch to say that the solution to our emptiness is to live the life of a dog. After all, most of us have to have some time of employment and sense of responsibility to maintain a standard of life. We can���t all nap on the floor under the ceiling fan for the day or chew on grass all afternoon. However, I think there���s a lot to be said for Henry���s root of happiness. It���s simple. It doesn���t involve money���he doesn���t have a dime to his name, technically. Sure, he loves getting a toy every week from me . . .but he���d probably be just as happy if he didn���t have any.

I think that by thinking more like a dog, examining happiness from his perspective, we can all learn a few things.�� Most of all, we learn that fulfillment sometimes comes from simplicity. Ponder over Henry���s favorite things and see if you agree.

Henry���s Favorite Things

Hearing the door to the house open because we���re home~unexpected visitors~a bite of cake~seeing Holly every Friday~running like a fool at the dog park~sticking his head out the window~walking around the neighborhood~talking to strangers~meeting new people~sleeping in the grass~snuggling on the couch~watching movies with the family~chasing the cats~sniffing flowers and grass~Meadow���s Ice Cream~Parades~walking downtown~running in the house~playing fetch~napping~the ceiling fan blowing on him~ barking~sitting with the family.

My First Book Signing!

I sit at a stark table, lonely and forlorn, watching the door for customers. Or I trip in my sandals, causing the entire display to be upended. Or I sign a family member���s name wrong in the book.�� Or I get so nervous that I vomit on the stack of books, rendering them unsellable.

These were all of the fears that ran through my head this morning as I prepared for a momentous moment in my writing career:�� my first book signing. This was the moment I have been working toward my entire life. I���ve always wanted nothing more than to see my face on the sign at Barnes & Noble.

Luckily, none of my worst fears happened today at my book signing. In fact, I would call it a huge success.�� I got to see friends, old and new, and talk about my book. I signed books, chatted about the plot, and even met some new people.�� It was purely humbling to realize that all of the people who stopped at my table were there to see me, to support my writing, and to read the story I had created. It is every writer���s dream to have the validity of their writing supported in tangible ways; today was one of those moments for me. Perhaps even more validating was to see strangers pick up my book, read the back cover . . .and buy it. I felt like all of my hard work paid off in these moments. In short, I felt like a real author today.

I cannot thank all of you enough who came to the book signing to say high, show your support, or buy a book. It meant the world to me to see so many familiar faces there just to give me encouragement. I owe my mom and dad a huge thanks. You have both encouraged me since I was born to pursue my passion and to never let anything get in my way. You taught me to love reading and writing from an early age, and you always support me no matter what I do. From passing out bookmarks to carrying boxes to telling people about my book, you are the best ���travel agents/ marketing team��� I could have. Thanks to my husband for wearing his awesome shirt today and spending the afternoon in a bookstore just to support me. Thanks to my grandparents, aunt, cousins, friends, coworkers, family members, teachers, and students who also came by.

For those of you aspiring to be where I���m at today, keep working. Dreams do come true. That Barnes & Noble signing is within your reach. Trust me . . .I know.

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Book Signing with Lindsay Detwiler

It���s almost here . . .my first official book signing for Voice of Innocence! I will be at the Altoona, Pennsylvania, Barnes & Noble signing books from 1pm to 4pm. Come buy Voice of Innocence, chat me up about the book, and even get your book signed :) I���ll warn you, I���m new to this author thing, so I have no idea how to ���act like an author,��� but I would love to tell you about my book!

Voice of Innocence follows the story of Emma and Corbin, two high school sweethearts torn apart by Corbin���s wrongful conviction. Their lives are forced to go separate ways, but neither forgets about the power of the love they once shared. Decades later, Corbin is proven innocent and set free; Emma and Corbin are left with what ifs, regrets, and questions about the future. They must make a huge decision: should they settle for their separate lives they have created, or can they take the risk that true passion doesn���t fade with time?

Voice of Innocence is a sweet romance in a genre similar to Nicholas Sparks. You can find more information under the tabs above!

Thanks!

Lindsay Detwiler

Music that Moves Me

I will never like Twilight.

These were the words that were foolishly uttered from my mouth over and over again as people tried endlessly to get me to read the series. I wasn���t a ���vampire��� kind of girl. I didn���t like science fiction or fantasy. I was stubborn to the core and refused to even consider these books.

And then came summer. I was bored. I thought maybe I should give it a try since my students were obsessed.

That���s when I became a vampire loving, dedicated Edward fan. From that first chapter, I found myself sucked into Bella���s humdrum world. I could relate to her clumsy nature and her desire for something exciting to happen. I loved the serious, bad boy feel of Edward. I was swept away by their love story.

At twenty-seven, I���m not afraid to admit that I am just as crazy about the Twilight series as the teenagers half my age (oh, that hurts to type it!). I’m not afraid to admit that I adore Edward.

The movies are certainly not as good as the books (Did I mention I���m an English teacher? I bet you knew that from that comment. So clich��.). But I still love them. I love the beauty in the relationship, the power of Edward���s love for Bella (which in the books does sometimes come off as stalkerish, I admit). My second favorite movie scene of all time is when Bella is walking down the aisle toward Edward. Sigh. (I also love that Stephanie Meyers is standing in the crowd. What an amazing feeling that must have been to literally be standing at the wedding you envisioned in your mind when writing). All of the tension and passion that had been building throughout the series was just captured beautifully by that one scene.

For these reasons, I am literally moved every time the song ���A Thousand Years��� come on the radio. I had a terrible day the other day, but on the way home, this song came on the radio; I felt instant peace. When I hear this song, I just am moved by the emotion of the lyrics. Plus, it just reminds me of Edward and Bella’s love story.��This is the perfect song to capture their relationship. On Pandora the other day, I actually heard a purely instrumental version of this song which was somehow even more moving. I love when a song can summarize a feeling, a relationship, or a scene perfectly. This is one of those moments.

Music and literature both have that in common: they can both stir great emotion in you, taking you to a different reality all together with some well-planned words. That���s what I love about literature. I love that it makes us feel something. So no matter what anyone says, no matter how ���subjective��� my content area may be, I love that I get to teach students how words can stir emotion.

Do you have a song that moves you when you hear it? Share below!

Coupon Queen Wannabe

���Guess how much all of this cost?!?!���

These were my favorite words during the height of my couponing days . . .which, by the way, did not reach an awe inspiring altitude. There���s just a rush you get when you watch that total on the cash register plummet when you hand over the stack of paper in your hand. The best rush, though, is when the coupon perfectly counterbalances the price of the item, making it free. I didn���t care if it was Sauerkraut or a single tic tac that I was getting, as long as it was free.

Crazy Couponing shows have been in and out of the spotlight over the years. I���ve seen many coupon queens purchase hundreds in groceries for next to nothing. I���ve even seen Honey Boo Boo���s stockpile from their couponing habits. I���d be lying if I said I wasn���t envious from time to time. Who the heck wouldn���t want to squelch their grocery bill down to zero?

When we first got married, we were living on a lot less than we are now since I was only working part-time. Fresh out of college and clueless to the world of bills, we had to make our money count. So I decided to try my luck at the good old couponing trend.

At first, it was a fun challenge. I would comb the internet sites in an attempt to price match and figure out where I could stack coupons to get great deals. Target was one of my favorites because you could stack manufacturer���s coupons with their coupons, resulting in great deals if matched correctly.

I had a couple of good runs. No where near the coupon queens on T.V. And I mean nowhere near. But I was proud of myself when I had a stack of items that I paid basically nothing for (even if the items were lint rollers and thousands of toothpicks we may or may not ever use).

But I wasn���t organized, patient, or bold enough for it to really work. My couponing habits quickly faded.

I would think I calculated a deal right, only to find out that the fine print excluded my items. Or a cashier would challenge my coupon, and I would back down, embarrassed by the line behind me. By the end, I just got lazy . . .I didn���t feel like driving the whole way to another store just to get a free air freshener. I threw in the towel.

I still believe in couponing if you have the time and resources to devote to it. I still try to save money when I can, and I still get a rush from a good deal. However, my couponing dreams have morphed into just ���good deal��� dreams. I���ve found that you don���t have to cut out squares of paper to get a great bargain. Check out some of the things I���ve learned below.

Aldi negates the need for coupons

When Aldi first opened in our area, my husband refused to go to that ���low grade��� store. He fought with me for weeks until he finally decided to try it���and then he fell in love. Energy drinks for less than a buck, amazing steaks for $4 a pack, and awesome specialty foods that change each week���we are total converts. We buy all of our groceries here and save tons of money doing so. If I have to swing by another store for a few items, I cringe at the price.

The Cartwheel App from Target

Couponing doesn���t have to be tedious anymore. With this app, you can actually just scan items in your cart to see if there is a coupon for them. Once you add the coupons to your app, the cashier just scans the barcode on your phone, and it totals all of your coupon savings in one shot. No embarrassing coupon malfunctions, no waiting for the cashier to match your coupons to your items.

Krazycouponlady.com

This site is amazing, and I check it almost daily. These women do all of the tedious price matching for you. You can search by a specific store to check out the best coupons/deals there, or you can just check the new deals everyday. They even post amazing daily deals from online websites. Whether you���re an aspiring coupon lady or just looking for a quick deal, this site is fabulous for saving money.

Are you a coupon queen? Do you have any great tips or deal sites we should check out? Let us know!

Review: The Longest Ride

Since junior high, I���ve been obsessed with Nicholas Sparks��� works. From The Notebook (my absolute favorite) to Dear John to Safe Haven, I���ve read every book he���s written. People make fun of me, asking how I can read this ���sappy crap��� that is so ���predictable��� (Can you tell those are Chad���s words only censored? :)).

Nicholas Sparks does write ���sappy��� things . . .but I wouldn���t have it any other way. There���s something magical about how he captures the emotions of love, the disappointment when it doesn���t work out, and the perseverance it sometimes takes to get through obstacles. I adore it.

This weekend, we went to see The Longest Ride (yes, by we, I mean Chad went also. We went with my parents, so my dad also had to ���suffer through.���). Besides Chad���s rude asides, the movie was the best thing I���ve ever seen. Seriously. I was disappointed by the film Best of Me because I felt like it didn���t capture the essence of the book or the chemistry between the main characters, so I worried that the same would happen with this movie. Not even close.

There was everything a girl could want in a romance: a hunky cowboy (Clint Eastwood���s son interestingly enough), a relatable female protagonist, a side love story set in the 1940s, letters, and a beautifully impacting ending. I loved how the two different love stories were intricately woven together into a beautiful cacophony that spoke to the power of love through the ages. I found myself adoring Luke for his connection to Sophie.�� I found myself admiring Ira for dedicating himself so loyally to Ruth his entire life.

I think the theme of the movie is that love can change life���s course. All of the characters were set on a particular path until love came along. Nicholas Sparks reminds us that love is the most powerful emotion and, at the end of the day, the most fulfilling one. That���s not to say that powerful equals easy���I liked that all characters faced realistic issues. My favorite quote from the movie was by Ira, ���Love requires sacrifice. Always.���

The Longest Ride is definitely worth seeing. Although it hasn���t usurped by first place movie choice (The Notebook), it definitely comes in at a close second.

**On a side note, I must applaud my husband for being supportive of my Nicholas Sparks obsession despite his constant complaints. For Christmas, he donated to the Nicholas Sparks Foundation to get me a personally signed copy of The Notebook, my favorite. He even told Nicholas Sparks about my first novel, Voice of Innocence, so Nicholas Sparks signed ���congratulations on your first book.��� I was beyond excited and impressed by such a sentimental gesture. Turns out that maybe Chad does pay attention to some of the ���cheesy��� romantic moments in all of the Sparks��� movies he has been to :)

The Butterfly Child

I have a ritual before I head off to school which involves a carefully concocted itinerary of coffee, make-up, my Chi flat iron, and the news. I spend the last fifteen minutes before heading off to my day of literature on the couch watching our local news with Henry. Yes, as popular belief holds, the news is everything you shouldn���t start your day with���depressing stories, humanity���s mishaps, and a reason to stop believing in the goodness of man.

This morning, however, was different. Flipping mindlessly through Facebook, I saw a video posted by two people I knew about ���The Butterfly Boy.��� I usually don���t take time to watch videos on Facebook, especially during my allotted “news” time, but today I did���and what a great choice that was.

In the fourteen minute video (posted below), I learned so much. I learned about a genetic skin condition that I didn���t even know existed. I learned about a boy who has more courage than I have ever possessed in my entire life. I learned how hockey can light up one boy���s struggles.

Most of all, I learned that my spilled cup of coffee or my cat barfing on the freshly cleaned carpet is nowhere near the catastrophe I make it out to be. Suddenly, my complaints seem whiny, snotty, and even condescending. This fourteen-year-old boy has one of the worst hands of cards dealt to him in life���yet he still finds something to be positive about. I whine if I get a papercut. He can���t even get a bath without writhing in agony.

This story reminded me that I am beyond blessed. It reminded me to appreciate things I take for granted; instead of complaining that I have to find time in my hectic schedule to shower, I should relish in the opportunity.

So this morning, I headed off to school with a new appreciate for the strength of the human spirit, all thanks to a Facebook video. I would like to say I didn���t complain at all today���but that would be a lie. What I did do, however, is think a lot more about my ���breaking point��� and how I can probably tolerate a lot more than I think. It also made me think about my interactions with others; we may not all be butterfly children, but we all have some sort of pain we���re going through. We all are butterfly children in some way; it just might not be as physically obvious.

So thank you Facebook, for giving me a different perspective this morning.

If you haven���t seen the Butterfly Child��video, PLEASE watch below. I swear it will give you a new perspective.

Voice of Innocence Teaser

“The night after the verdict was the hardest night of my life. I would be lying if I said I didn���t think about suicide. Looking into the years to��come, I saw hollowness so vast, it threatened to swallow me. I saw a life of meaningless days and a desire for something more squashed by the reality of the bars. The only thing that kept me from taking my life that night was the thought of what it would do to Emma. Even that became a weak deterrent as the hours ticked by. I thought maybe it would actually make things easier for her if I could disappear. At least then she could move on without any question.

I knew Emma would stand by me. She had stood by me this long, despite the naysayers and evil glares. She had believed in me even when the justice system had pointed its weighty finger at me, proving to the world I was guilty and useless to society. Emma, however, had not been poisoned by the lies. Her love for me and belief in the man that I was allowed her to prevail confidently beside me. She had already sacrificed so much for me. Even if the appeal failed, she was prepared to wait until the truth came out, no matter how long it took. We had talked about it countless times during visitation, with me always telling her to be realistic. No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn���t convince her it was better for her to move on. She felt a responsibility to be my rock through this, to be the voice shouting from the rooftop that I was innocent.” ~Corbin Jones

Looking for an emotional summer read? Do you enjoy reading Nicholas Sparks’ books?

Pick up Voice of Innocence today :) Check out the book trailer on the right for more information, or click on reviews for more details about my book. My readers have noted that Voice of Innocence has a Nicholas Sparks feel to it, so if you are a fan, check out my book!