Annika Sharma's Blog, page 5

5 Unique Ways to Bond with Your Squad

Thanks to Taylor Swift's posse, #squadgoals have become a thing. And rightfully so! Women should stick together. After all, we go through our highs and lows, relationships, breakups, marriages, childbirths (if we choose to have them, because let's be real...it's not for everyone!), career peaks, transformations...Ladies. We do it all. Relentlessly. Powerfully. Not always gracefully, but always together.One of the things I love most about the lionesses in my pride are how well we know each other. I know Liz loves penguins more than any other animal. Melissa loves Harry Potter probably more than JK Rowling. Sarah can remember a name and a face if she's seen them once for approximately .34 seconds. But...your circle of girls--whether they are family members or friends who have become family--are your bonds that transcend distance, time and the petty arguments. They are more than the women you go to spa days with and whose homes you seek refuge in during difficulties.It's worth getting to know them even better--so here are five unique ways to do that!1) TableTopics. Have you seen these on Amazon? I only have the Road Trip version, but there are multiple decks of different types like Girls Night, Not Your Mother's Dinner Party and more. Pick a card and ask your girls to answer. It'll prompt conversations that you didn't expect, like, "Where would you like to take a hot air balloon ride?" If TableTopics are too G-rated, then Hot Seat, Never Have I Ever (card game style...which, on a side note, I got beaten on by a 60 year old), or Conversation Cards. They're a little less innocent but a lot more fun!2) Have a sleepover. Yeah, I said it. I'm talking an eighth grade style, pizza boxes on the floor, sleeping in sleeping bags, watching 13 Going On 30 style all-night girls party. Why? It'll bring you back to your childhood days when whispered secrets were the thing to do, keep everyone comfortable in a home and in pajamas (no complaints there!) and allow the ladies to open up. 3) Send letters. I constantly rediscover old notes from high school in boxes. Now, I don't remember some of the guys we talked about or even the drama we discussed, but I can say this: there was so much fun in the practice of writing it all down! Even now, as notes in history class turn into handwritten, heartfelt messages in birthday cards, they make us weepy...letters have the same effect--but doing them for no reason, just because, adds an element of surprise and special to a completely mundane day and it'll make your girls' day to receive one!4) Have a photo shoot. I remember once sophomore year, my best friend Liz and I put on our prom dresses, did our makeup and went to the park back home in State College. Yes, this is a fun glimpse of me circa age 18--but it was so much fun to pose, be silly, and see your best friend's photography talents come to light as you model the hell out of your favorite outfits. Add a little glamour to your day and get out there, girls!5) Get crafty. When I was an RA in college, I used to do these pottery painting nights at the end of exam weeks. There was a place at Penn State called 2000 Degrees, where you'd glaze greenware in hundreds of colors, and they'd fire it up for you and you'd end up with beautifully painted ceramics. Sip and Paint nights, or cooking classes are an amazing way to get creative juices flowing--and laughter flowing if you end up being terrible at it! Wine events too expensive? Have girls chip in for a set of 7 canvasses from Michaels for $20 and a $5 acrylic paint set and go to town! Put a twist on it--everyone sit in a circle and paint something for the person next to them...it'll add a fun element of getting to know everyone's tastes for artwork! Did you try one of these? Let me know how it turned out! I can't wait to hear from you all!Love,Annika

Imposter Syndrome: The Dream Killer

You know, it's kind of funny, but only recently (...like in the last three months...) have I confidently been able to say, "I'm Annika. I'm a published writer." Call it Imposter Syndrome. Call it a lack of confidence. Call it whatever the heck you want...the bottom line is that conversations about my books typically went like this.-New Friend: Nice to meet you! What do you do?-Me: I'm a grad student...and I used be a teacher...I write too.-New Friend: You write? Like...blogs? Books?-Me: Yeah. I write books.-New Friend: Oh, have you thought about getting published? Are you already published?-Me: I'm already published.-New Friend: Oh, cool. When? What's it called?Me: It's called the Rearranged Life...it was published in 2015.-New Friend: Like, at Barnes and Noble?Are you cringing? I AM CRINGING. Digging out of me that I was a writer was harder than cracking into a cement block with a plastic shovel. I often justified it with, "Yes, I have two Master's in..." or "Yes, I'm still working on the next one..." because it is so easy to rely on the back-up. If you fail, you were really doing something else anyway--this was an experiment. You haven't said you're a writer often enough that the world hears you and knows that you tanked. And if you're an imposter,  you never said you were a writer openly to believe you were anything but a fluke. It was just another blip on your career radar.I'm done pretending now.My dashingly handsome and brilliant friend Kunal (y'all, he's a real estate agent in New York--this girl is a shameless plugger of talent) had a birthday party in May. I walked in fully intent on introducing myself as a graduate student but he didn't give me the chance--proudly, he spoke of me as a writer to literally everyone who he introduced me to. "Hey, this is Annika, she's a writer. She's got books coming out at Barnes and Noble next year. Let's go to her book signing!" At first, I accompanied the introduction with a nervous laugh and probably an expression of OhshitdammitKunal...but confidence grows when the people you love are proud of you. His enthusiasm was so contagious, eventually my awkward smile became a genuine one. I kept wondering why that was. I am a writer. Why hide it? So, of course, being the overanalytical human being I am, I thought about it--and began to recognize my signs of insecurity, also known as Annika's Playbook.-The Credit Handoff:Them: Wow, you wrote a book?!Me: Well, I had a lot of help...I didn't do much.-The Downplay:Them: Good luck! I look forward to reading your bestseller!Me: Let's hope...I mean, there's a lot of other great writers out there. Let's see what happens.-The Justification Sidestep:Them: I've always wanted to write a book. But I have a day job.Me: Well, I'm actually a teacher, and I'm getting my second Master's...it's a side hustle.Needless to say, none of those were scoring points. There are plenty more--the nervous laugh, the awkward glance around the room to see if you can hide, the compulsory mention that you don't write romances like Fifty Shades so you can be taken "seriously" (But why? Fifty Shades did great and everyone's got their own taste.). There's a list as long as my arm of the diversionary tactics used by people who are afraid of their own successes. But, as they say, the first step to recovery is identification.From there, it was the small things. Mentioning "writer" first, before my day job as an intern and student. Working on not looking down when I talked about it and instead, locking eyes with people as I spoke. Proudly describing plot lines about Indian-Americans, which was then only catapulted into even more confidence when people seemed interested. Using empowering stories about how I juggle things rather than demeaning it--like, "I have two jobs. I work during the day as a teacher and when I get home, I eat and then I write so I can have my manuscripts finished and to my agent." instead of, "Well, writing is a side hustle..."The thing is...as women, we get told all the time we aren't good enough. Hell, why limit it to women? Men do too. We're constantly bombarded with messages about being more beautiful with X makeup, being skinnier with Y diet, being curvier with Z workout, being smarter with A achievements, but remaining individual because somehow, in all this pressure to fit in, we're supposed to stand out.Why, then, in these moments where we CAN stand out and own our triumphs do we feel the need to make them blend in? It's infuriating and it needs to stop. You know that feeling you get when someone does something SO COOL you just can't handle it? Like when my friend Hetal talks about her time on MasterChef--I'm hanging on every word and I want to know All The Things because I'm fangirling over her success. What makes us feel as though we ourselves can't be the subjects of that same awed adoration? And why, oh why, do we remotely ever entertain the thoughts that our success can threaten others?I wish I had answers. I wish this post was full of enlightenment about how to change the world. But I do have some tips...and I hope you find them as helpful as I did.1. Own your story. You have come so damn far, girl (or dude!). Wear that badge of honor and rock it. And when others share their own roads to success, respect it. Do not let it threaten yours. There's room at the table and you have your own giant fluffy chair waiting.2. Inspiration is everywhere. That girl in the cubicle across from you who seems to not work as hard but somehow just got a promotion? She's not hindering your success, she's fueling it. Take a moment of your day to get to know her. Maybe there's something you'll learn. And remember, you have something to offer too.3. The sun shines in the dark too. Whether you see it or not, your talents and your brilliance are right there. They are constant. Burn bright. Own the fact that you cast light that only you can bring.4. Start small but grow big. For me, recognizing my quirks when people brought up writing was the first step in owning what I had in my arsenal. You have a unique set of talents and insights that only you can bring to the table. Stop hiding. Find out why you do. Work on changing it. The world deserves to see you shine.Just to push you, I'll follow my own advice. Hi. I'm Annika Sharma. I am a writer. I write contemporary Indian-American romance/women's fiction and yeah, I'll say it out loud now: You bet your size 2-32 sexy butt I'm proud of it.

Dear Reader...Love, Annika

Hellloooooo! A virtual hug to you, friend! Some of you have followed me through the last four years as an author. Others are newly joining our journey together as I move to lifestyle blogging and sharing what has driven me: sheer inspiration and the hope that I can spread it like wildfire to anyone who needs a pick-me-up.So...hi! I'm Annika Sharma. You'll learn a lot about me from this blog--probably more than you'd like to. I live in New York City with my brother a.k.a. my favorite person in the whole world. The most eloquent response I give when people ask me what I do is, "Uhhh..." but for your sake, let's translate.I'm a proud, bleed-blue-and-white, family legacy, you-bet-your-butt-I-watch-football Penn State girl. I graduated with two health science degrees. I was working at a preschool (a stop on the way to what I thought would be a women's health/pediatric career!) when I got recruited into a M.Ed program instead. I also wrote a book while I was in graduate school about an Indian girl falling in love with an American boy (no, not autobiographical, though there are definitely some fun similarities!). Then I worked in early education while I got an agent, got a book deal, wrote my second book and landed another book deal. About a year ago, I missed healthcare. A lot. I quit my teacher job, and decided to earn my MPH.So...what do I do?I'm a published author, preparing for the release of the first in my new three-book series while finishing up my MPH. Now, I also run a lifestyle blog. And as any adventure-seeker will tell you, you have to be ready for the unexpected twists life has to offer so while I am building a health career and a writing one, you never know what roads will open up.If life has taught me anything over the last 7 years since my college graduation (wait, really? 7 years?), it is this: a passion-filled, purpose-driven life happens when something calls to your heart so spectacularly, you cannot ignore it. My author career was the beginning. I realized I never wanted to spend another day waking up and feeling down about what I do (although everyone feels tired once in a while--have you MET a Monday morning?). I wanted to pop out of bed, excited for a long day of work and feel addicted to my life. I wanted to breathe it in, soak in building myself to be better, and love the hell out of everything.That's what I'm doing now. I love optimism, thoughtfulness, travel, dance, photography, learning All The Things, FOOD, new experiences, my Indian-American culture and going on adventures...so that's what I'm going to do! I hope you'll join me. I can't wait to go on this journey with you.Love,Annika

Rediscovery. Streamlining. And how I'm choosing not to do it all.

Reinvention isn't something that always needs a start date down the road. Sometimes, you wake up and realize that there are things that need to change and that today is the time to make it happen.Today was that day for me.Over the last year, I've done my best to float above the waves but I've drowned between school, work, and a million goals. Having drive and ambition are some of the best things someone can possess in their arsenal--how else are you supposed to make life better for you and everyone around you? But I was sinking fast. And something needed to change. My fear of missing out (Holla if you've got FOMO too!) was becoming dangerous and I was treading the line of Spread Too Thin And Missing Out Anyway.Every day, I woke up tired, disorganized and purposeless. For me, that's a strange feeling--to be so displaced and stepping so carefully in life that I felt like I was walking on eggshells All. The. Time. With a buffalo on my back. I could not, for the life of me, figure out where I'd gone wrong that I had an amazing internship, a writing career, and an academic pursuit and still couldn't manage to wake up in the morning feeling excited. For those who know me, feeling passionless is a rarity--I am a very all or nothing kind of lady.As the book deadline for the first new story in my upcoming series approached fast, the late nights began.The talking to my imaginary friends as I painstakingly wrote their stories.The obsessive answer I gave friends who asked how I was doing, "I'm writing."The "I-can't-stand-these-characters-right-now-but-I-secretly-love-this" complaints.The fire I felt again in my belly to build my life, dance a little when I opened my eyes, and bounce over to my computer.I woke up a week ago thinking, "I don't have to do it all. I want to do things I love. I want to do them well." So here we are...the website has a redesign because the old one didn't feel like me anymore. I made a list of the things I love that take precedence, that fill me up with joy and that give me a dreamchasing life. I will finally learn to say no, instead of wondering what if and doing something I know I wasn't meant for.So...welcome. Again. Annika Sharma 2.0 is here. And my God, it feels good to be back.

Reinvention. Streamlining. And how I'm choosing not to do it all.

Reinvention isn't something that always needs a start date down the road. Sometimes, you wake up and realize that there are things that need to change and that today is the time to make it happen.Today was that day for me.Over the last year, I've done my best to float above the waves but I've drowned between school, work, and a million goals. Having drive and ambition is one of the best things someone can possess in their arsenal--how else are you supposed to make life better for you and everyone around you? But I was sinking fast. And something needed to change. My fear of missing out (Holla if you've got FOMO too!) was becoming dangerous and I was treading the line of Spread Too Thin And Missing Out Anyway.Every day, I woke up to feel tired, disorganized and purposeless. As the book deadline for the first new story in my upcoming series approached fast, the late nights began.The talking to my imaginary friends as I painstakingly wrote their stories.The obsessive answer I gave friends who asked how I was doing, "I'm writing."The fire I felt again in my belly.I woke up a week ago thinking, "I don't have to do it all. I want to do things I love. I want to do them well." So here we are...the website has a redesign because the old one didn't feel like me anymore. I made a list of the things I love that take precedence, that fill me up with joy and that give me a dreamchasing life. I will finally learn to say no, instead of wondering what if and doing something I know I wasn't meant for.So...welcome. Again. Annika Sharma 2.0 is here. And my God, it feels good to be back.

Master gave Dobby a Diploma...

Okay, not quite.But we've rounded the bend and we're in the home stretch!My last semester starts this week. I did an accelerated track of this MPH so while it's only been about 15 months from start to finish, it's my last first day of school...and I'm a little mixed about it.The only way I can describe myself (and of course, it's in terms of Harry Potter) is that I am like a mini-Hermione Granger. I love learning. It's borderline weird how much. If I could pursue every degree out there, I probably would, and school is where I'm happiest.It is a little sad to think it's over and I'm rightfully moping...but school gave me one of the greatest things: I got to be a kid for a little longer, and chase dreams a little wilder. It broke up my adulthood into different pieces so I swung like a pendulum between the Real World and the Academic One. But with the advent of the Real World as my life's new relationship status comes a list of goals for the next few months...because somehow, in 19 years of formal schooling, there are still some things this girl just didn't get the hang of.1) Finish the new book series. The working title of this upcoming series is First Generation Love Stories, about four friends who navigate New York City and the tribulations of their love stories. The first, with a main character named Kiran, is on its way to my agent and editor...and it's time to start thinking and plotting out the second one about a girl named Payal. 2) Get a purpose-driven, wake-up-in-the-morning-feeling-happy, challenge-your-mind Big Girl Job. With graduation comes the dreaded job search. Is it possible to narrow down career options after two undergraduate degrees and two Master's? It feels like the world only gets bigger...but health communications, reproductive health and making a different still speak to me. I'm researching various firms and non-profits to find a good fit but it's time to start thinking ahead! It's daunting to make a pivot in my career from education to healthcare but so fun too. Time to polish the resume, create a powerful cover letter, and bang out some serious confidence.3) Own the story. I am who I am. It's a long road to self-confidence and one I struggle with every day. But there's something to be said about owning your story and the magic you bring to a room in a way that only you can. It's time for me to grab ahold of that and hang on tight!4) Make the Me Time. Weird, right? Right now, thoughts of the new books and job searches are taking over...but going to the gym, eating healthy, and finding time to spend with friends is something I need to consciously make time for. I'm someone who always, always gives up self-care when it comes to work.5) Don't Overthink. Just Do. It's so easy to get caught up in the lists of things to do. But perhaps it's time to leap. Instead of plotting everything out, my goal is to learn to jump first and think later and keep adding adventures to life without planning for them.

Wanderlusting and Loving Reminders

It's been a few weeks since I've written. I wish I could say I've found my way--that would be a lie--however, as this ever-optimistic heart desperately finds the silver lining...I will say that things aren't so dire. Today. If there's anything I've learned recently, it's to take each moment second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day...one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it's all you can do until you find the answers you want so badly. While much of life is still up in the air, I've finally resigned myself to getting through each day and (attempting) to let the solutions unfold. Hopefully, with some hard work, all will be evident soon enough.But enough about struggles. I'm all about the happy things so let's recap last weekend and the fun lessons that a little wanderlust can teach you.One of my dearest friends, Trusha, is getting married next month--and as a bridesmaid, it's been my honor to get to be involved with the festivities. Her bachelorette party was in Montreal last weekend...now, I'd heard about wild bachelorettes in crazy expensive places and I've heard/been to them all over the place but Montreal was never on my radar as a sight to visit.I am an idiot.It was, without fail, one of the prettiest cities I've been to. Fun fact about me: you're more likely to recognize me by the bottom of my chin and my neck than my face when I'm walking in a city. Why? Because I'm always looking up at architecture. Montreal was a sight for sore eyes--classical and modern buildings set next to each other seamlessly, gardens and parks of greenery, waterfront views, and artwork on the sides of brick buildings that made even the most simple walk to the grocery store a tour of art.The weekend itself with eleven other women was so much fun. We rented a speedboat on Friday, gotdropped off at Bota Bota, a luxury spa built into a ferryboat, had a surprise bridal shower for Trusha in our pajamas, walked ten miles around Montreal, hiked Mont Royal, went to a champagnerie and ended up dancing at a club I felt like I was 18 at. It was wonderful. My favorite moment, however, was something else. We went to a restaurant called Lola Rosa Cafe, and it was sweet--eccentric and rustic decor. Artsy. Independent. We just had walked ten miles up and down a mountain, so I ran into the restroom--where I was promptly greeted with a pin board that read, "Live in the moment."Cute, I thought, as I read over the notes that patrons had pinned there throughout the tenure of the restaurant. There was a note from an eight year-old who wanted to show off her drawings. A girl writing to a boy who she was at the restaurant with and secretly loved. It became more and more endearing as I read through them.By the time I'd gotten back to the table, the girls had discovered that the drawers on the tables also opened up to reveal more notes from patrons past. It was an incredible reminder of gratitude, of love, of hope and sometimes of heartbreak that needed mending by reaching out to a stranger. With each unfurled piece of paper, my heart grew warmer and I felt a piece of life soak back into me. It was unlike anything I can describe...Also, their macaroni and cheese was delicious.I'll post again soon. My internship is winding down, I have a move to a new apartment, a job hunt to go on, a book deadline (woohoo!) and a few other things coming up...but I promise, as always, I haven't forgotten my readers and I can't wait to hear what you're up to.

Am I creative? Am I analytical? What the heck am I? And what does the former surgeon general have to do with it?

I had the privilege of seeing Dr. Vivek Murthy, the former Surgeon General of the United States, speak at an event with Barbara Bush yesterday. I could go on for hours about how he's a distinguished doctor, how his achievements extend to a list longer than my arm, or how he has an insanely soothing voice--one that for whatever reason, I never anticipated could belong to a man considered so powerful in the field of medicine...But rather, one thing struck me in spectacular fashion.He was eloquently speaking about love in the field of healthcare and change.The event itself, a fireside chat, was a Q&A about the notion of moral leadership--leading with your heart and doing what's right even if it doesn't always give you the most gain. It was refreshing to hear. Too often, we live in a world that tells us who to be and how to be. We follow arbitrary laws we wrote for ourselves or political methodologies without considering the true impact of our words, our actions and the role of our own moral compass. Professionally, that philosophy is forgotten and sadly, it is one of the most crucial ones out there.Dr. Murthy also spoke of the value of creative time.I am a writer. Obviously, I was going to pay extra attention.As surgeon general, one of his regrets was not carving out designated time to be innovative with life and his profession. Healthcare is a draining field and it's impossible not to feel obligated to it. We dedicate ourselves so wholeheartedly that we can easily lose sight of any creative endeavors. People will always get sick, and the work seems endless because inequities are vast and being uncovered every day...in other words, the hamster wheel continues to spin. As Dr. Murthy said (out of context here, but in relation to the perpetual work to be done and how far we've come): "We can respect the progress we've made without considering our work done." We have miles to go...and we've come far but this fight has only begun to expose the inequities that need conquering.And when a road is long, it's important to be able to carve out 'you' time but it's equally as critical to recognize that innovation and recharging allows for growth to solve the problems that just won't quit. As he put it, "There is light at the end of the tunnel and perhaps we'll never get to the end of the tunnel, but it does get brighter." For me, as he noted during our short conversation, it's more crucial as writing is also my side career--but as a person I should flex those muscles without falling back into an overworked day job cycle, if solely for the purpose of my mental health.For so long, I've called myself the middle ground between analytics and creativity. My friends often hear me describe myself as "treading the line"--a warring side that must be chosen. Even I'll admit that I always thought I should commit to one because being both made me lack in the other. But hearing Dr. Murthy's insight about healthcare, creativity, fostering growth in leadership through love and empathy...these concepts don't feel so mutually exclusive anymore. For once, I don't feel like I have to be one of those things but that any one NEEDS the others in order to max out my potential.I wrote last week of how much I've been struggling. How New York feels dog-eat-dog and I feel too soft professionally. How I feel aimless. How I'm really, really burnt out from doing too much and not being enough.To hear someone--an Indian-American, a healthcare advocate, a kind soul, a theoretical "analyzer" in the form of a physician--speak about (of all things!) leading with love and creativity and openness to possibility...and to see that very same person not only thrive but blast out success beyond his own wildest dreams...The sense of empowerment, pride and wonder was inspiring at the least, and life-changing at the best.I am in awe of the grace and eloquence Dr. Murthy spoke with and I hope that as my loving readers, who I am certain care about the future as much as I do, you will do your research on him and watch him speak on YouTube or at a live event. It will change your life, whether you are in health fields or not, because it will remind you of the most important thing--a point he made during his talk."Do we choose to love others as we love ourselves?"

"Not all who wander are lost." Or maybe I am...

"Not all who wander are lost."Funnily enough, I quoted this at a friend of mine the other day in a debate about the word 'ambling' versus 'wandering'. For a long time, I've been able to definitively argue that my wandering in career and in life--healthcare majors, to early ed teacher, to teaching degree and author, to grad student in public health, to intern--wasn't aimless. It was the direct result of a passion-driven life. I refused to chase a pursuit that didn't make me wake up thinking, "God, I love doing what I do." For the last few years, it's been an incredible ride. I told my friend Mamata that without writing, I wouldn't have opened up my world to the possibility of living outside the box--that walls didn't cut it anymore because I stepped outside them. I like to think of myself as a modern-day Princess Jasmine, who realized a Whole New World all on her own...but, really, I think it was sheer liberation in pursuing what I wanted and forging my own path.Until the last couple months, when the wandering began to feel an awful lot like standing in the woods without a compass, map or sense of direction.As some of you know, I began an internship. It's a non-profit leadership development organization that runs a fellowship program geared toward reducing global health inequities. Started by a respected first daughter, it has been an eye-opening experience in the painstaking operation that running a non-profit is, the differences in leadership and purpose that are both required and troublesome to organizations and the impact that being a changemaker can have.Taking the internship required a move to New York. As my previous blog posts delved into, it was a welcome shift in life and a change that was scary and exciting all at the same time. I had no idea how challenging it would truly be.Some of you know that I don't drink, on principle. I never have. I was never truly tempted to start until I moved to NYC, where social drinking is just a part of what my friends do.I always thought I was organized. Until I met the color coded world of some of my colleagues and missed a couple of small assignments here and there, leading to a pretty hard self-beatdown on my perfectionist mind.I always thought I had a purpose. Until suddenly, I began to wonder what it was.The last few days, I've been at Training Institute, two weeks of kicking off a new fellowship year. We have incredible speakers, like the former surgeon general and HIV/AIDS advocates. We have programs geared toward leadership development and chaplaincy aimed at stripping down to the essentials of what someone is, in order to curate and guide their career appropriately.With all those resources...why have I felt so lost? A few weeks ago, a friend told me New York City would beat the niceness out of me. Another friend told me New York had swept me away and I didn't seem so sure of myself. It would seem like those are criticisms of the city or of me...but I think for someone who has always had set perspectives on who she is, the experiences I've had since moving here, whether it's been with guys or life or school or writing, have challenged the fiber of who I thought I was. It shows, too. I've had to fight harder for what I always thought were rights. I've had to battle insecurities that I believed were long-since destroyed. I've had to conquer notions about me that were inaccurate at best, and devastating to my self-worth at worst. The gentle and cautious steps I've taken with each endeavor recently have been evident to those around me--they're used to the fearless leaps and thundering landings of relentlessly sprinting after what I want. The hesitant way I've been moving probably seems like I'm walking on eggshells. It's frightening to my friends. Truthfully, it's scary for me too.Not all who wander are lost.Or maybe, for the first time in a long time, I am.The optimist in me wants to believe I'll knock this crappy phase right out of the park and with it, shed the nervous version of myself I've been. I want to believe that with the leadership development and life coaching I've been working through in books, I'll be a stronger and more purpose-driven warrior in the future. Deep down, I know I will.But for now, my compass is broken. I have no concept of where I am. Who I am got lost along the way, left behind like the crumbs Hansel and Gretel dropped behind them...which were then eaten by birds, leaving them stranded without a way back. I don't know my way home right now. I have to come to peace with that. But until that moment comes...I am wandering. And I am lost.

THE NEW BOOK DEAL!

And just like that, everyone, we have another book deal!Okay, maybe it wasn't just like that. However, before I narrate to you the story of How Annika Got a Book Deal on the Day She Moved to New York, I have to say a couple thanks.To my family and Melissa for being so damn patient.To my agent, Stacey Donaghy, for always believing in me and my stories.And to my new editor, at Sourcebooks, Cat Clyne...thank you. For everything you've already offered and all I know you will give.Now, shall we proceed to the update itself?I've been working on multiple manuscripts over the last two years--the sequel and third book to The Rearranged Life (TRL), as well as a manuscript about a female football player, AND another story about best friends and politics. Once you've thrown in a couple of moves to different cities, another graduate degree in progress, and a couple of new jobs...it was a little bananas. We've been speaking with editors, on calls and figuring things out for the last few months at least and strategizing plans for much longer.But like I wrote in my last post, when it rains, it pours, particularly in my life. What I couldn't say explicitly when I wrote the last post was that while I was finding an apartment in New York City with my parents and my friend, I was called by Stacey to tell me I had an offer on a new book series.Let's talk about it.The three-book series will follow three of four Indian friends (the fourth is up in the air), who each have their own love story. With so many different types of family structures, belief systems, histories, religious backgrounds and cultures, there is a plethora of situations that can be created, combined and explored.I hope you find them as fascinating as I will to write them. It is my hope, now that I am a few manuscripts (not books, but manuscripts) into this game that I can capture all of the tales my characters have to tell with greater accuracy, bigger hearts and smoother writing.As any writer will tell you, a first book is like a first child--all your initial mistakes, hard work, "Sweet Mother of God, I have ruined my life, their life, and possibly everyone else's life!" exclamations, and moments where you can't remember your own name...they all happen with that first published manuscript. I love TRL with an extremely special part of my heart. It's a segment that will never be touched again, like a first love. This new deal is monumental and meaningful for that reason--I'm excited to graduate in every aspect of my writing and build my second/third/fourth babies with the knowledge I gained from experiencing my first.I hope I don't let you down. And thank you for believing in me.