Annika Sharma's Blog, page 3

The Dreamchaser Series: Nisha Sharma, Author

Like any field, as you delve into becoming a professional, you meet people along the way who change your perception of what you're doing and how you're doing it.Nisha Sharma is one of those people for me.An author, a lawyer, an advocate, all while juggling a movie deal for her first novel My So-Called Bollywood Life (out May 15th!), an upcoming wedding, and of course, her love of Bollywood and dancing...If you want a role model or someone to take some serious planner tips from, Nisha is your girl.I'm so lucky to speak with her today...and I'd recommend you follow her on Twitter (she's hilarious!) @nishawrites and on Instagram at @nishasharmawrites. Her website can be found at www.nisha-sharma.com (it's SO CUTE!).Give us the deets...who are you? What do you stand for? To quote John Green...tell us "your story. Your hobbies, your passions, your weird fetishes." First, thank you so much for having me! You’re one of my favorite book people, so I’m so glad we could do this interview.My story is relatively boring. I’m a book nerd, a lawyer, a MFA grad, a former classical Kathak dancer, and I’m just as awkward in person as I am on Twitter. I love Bollywood movies, Indian food, traveling (but only if it’s boujie-travel, and not some backpacking thing), and my family.I’m passionate about food, about books, about my pets, and trying new things. Also, I hate olives.You've received multiple book deals, a movie deal, and you're incredibly well educated. What propelled you to chase each of these dreams with such vigor?I don’t think there was ever a moment in my life when I didn’t want to be a writer. The only problem was that I felt an obligation to be successful in what I’ve always called my ‘backup career’ as well. The backup career concept was something that stemmed from cultural and social pressure, but it was strong enough to push me through law school.I think the more I succeeded as a lawyer, which came naturally to me, the more I wanted to prove myself as a writer. I didn’t want my family, my friends, and most importantly, myself, to forget the fact that law was just a backup and writing was where my heart would always be.I also believe that a lot of my success has to do with my parents as well. My mother is a house wife who loves my father dearly, but she had dreams and ambitions that she wasn’t able to complete before she had an arranged marriage. She pushed my sister and I to achieve every success we could obtain instead.My father always believed education was the most important tenant in someone’s life. He was the descendant of a long line of physicians, and wanted my sister and I to be just as educated.Basically, I was screwed from birth, haha.You were destined for nerd life! But it's clearly paid off as you're an expert in so many tracks. What do you love most about each pursuit you've chased?The lessons I’ve learned along the way. Not the knowledge exactly, but the life skills. In law school, I learned never, ever expect other people to teach you what you need to know. Go after the knowledge yourself, and fight for what you believe in. In my MFA program, I learned that if you’re stuck, delete the last ten pages and start over. I think those skills are more valuable than textbook knowledge any day. You talk about diversity and inclusion a lot (I know, it's part of your day job too!). What are some ways people can encourage and promote inclusivity in their daily lives?There is this new initiative in corporate called ‘belonging’ that I’m starting to really get into it. To explain, diversity is being invited to the party, inclusivity is being invited to the dance, and belonging is bringing your whole self to the dance floor and dancing like no one is watching. I think it’s important to be mindful that sometimes being invited to the party isn’t the end of the discussion, and there is a lot of work that needs to be done to change people’s mindset AFTER disadvantaged communities are asked to join a conversation. The concept of diversity and inclusion isn’t comfortable, and it shouldn’t be. However, allies can do a lot to help in making disadvantaged communities feel like they can bring their whole, authentic self to the table.I LOVE the notion of being invited to a party versus rocking out on the dance floor without judgment. The concept of diversity and inclusion are seamless in your book as well. Your upcoming novel makes plenty of references to Bollywood movies, an Indian movie industry loved around the world. What are some of your favorites and why?There are to many to list! If you purchase a copy of MY SO-CALLED BOLLYWOOD LIFE, you can find a glossary of movies at the end of the book, and the ones that are rated five star by my main character, Winnie, are pretty much my favorites as well.If you pre-order a copy of the book and submit a copy of your receipt to: https://www.getunderlined.com/perks/e... , you’ll get a huge list of awesome Bollywood movies as well!It's nearly inevitable that people read books about diverse characters with at least a few preconceived notions. And hopefully, their eyes will be opened while they read. What is something you hope readers gain most from your books? (Outside of the amazing read they'll be partaking in!)I was really conscious of pre-conceptions when I drafted MY SO-CALLED BOLLYWOOD LIFE. The biggest one is that all Indian parents don’t understand their kids. This happens often, but I wanted to show that sometimes, Indian kids are really close to their parents, too. That’s why Winnie’s family is a huge support system in the story. I also wanted readers to understand that South Asians born and raised in the U.S. aren’t always conflicted with their culture. Sometimes, they’re completely understanding and happy straddling the line.Three weird facts about you that the public doesn't know...go!I have an OCD about closing things. I will go through my house before bed to make sure that all the doors and windows and cabinets are closed.I have insane muscle memory when it comes to dance routines. I can watch a Bollywood dance song, and practically mimic the entire thing after only seeing it a couple times.I was actually published by a small press before, for 2 adult romance e-novellas. The novellas were about cowboys and witches. I wrote them under a pen name and that is the extent of information I’ll reveal. It's five years from now, and you've achieved your dream. What does your vision look like?I hope to be writing full time, have a family to take care of, and no law school debt. The last one is probably my biggest dream.And now it's your turn to be the wise one! What is advice you would give someone who is getting their vision off the ground?Repeat this mantra to yourself every morning:QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION.If you believe in your goal so much that you’ll never quit at it, then you won’t fail. Rise and grind, friends. When you do, anything becomes possible.Top three bucket list items:Hitting the NYT listPaying off all my school debtTaking a cooking class in TuscanyFive people you recommend people follow and why they've influenced you.Nic Stone, author of Dear Martin, is such an inspiration. Follow that girl!Roshani Chokshi is talented, funny, kind and beautiful. Her newsletters are hysterical!Agent Eric Smith! He’s super woke, and probably the kindest person in publishing.Patrice Caldwell is a mover, a shaker, and the biggest supporter of POCs in the industry.Ellen Oh. Not only is she super talented, but she tweets incredibly thought-provoking discussions on diversity.And of course, YOU!! Thank you again for having me. I loved doing this interview with you!

The Dreamchaser Series: Karusha Pather, Founder of Crown the Brown

There are incredible women out there, including you, dreamchaser, who are hustling hard toward their dreams and busting their bottoms to change the world. As I thought more about how to support these women and network with other go-getters out there, I realized that there are stories behind these women that propel them toward their ambitions...and how better to get to know those stories than to ask?Now, I have the privilege of introducing Karusha Pather, a body-positivity advocate and absolutely GORGEOUS model in South Africa. Not only does this girl go to school and kick ass there, she is also the head of a campaign to integrate more South Asian women into their respective industries . Representation matters, and Karusha is the perfect example of what brains, beauty and boldness look like!Follow her on Instagram: @KarushapatherAnd her blog: kaykorner.wixsite.com/thekorner/And support Crown the Brown: @crownthebrown on InstagramGuys, seriously...this girl. Superwoman. I was so impressed and so, so happy I got to spotlight her! Read on and you'll agree.Give us the deets--where did you grow up, what do you love to do...who are you?I grew up in Cape Town, situated in the Western Cape in South Africa. I am a fun loving, spontaneous, humorous and humanitarian soul. I enjoy reading, music, the theatre and cricket! I love meeting new people and networking with others. My entire life revolved around people and working with the community thus leading to me becoming the person I am today. I love working with people and uplifting people to reach their full potential. It inspires me to see other people succeed. My renowned love for people led to me becoming a Social Worker and a body positive advocate for those struggling in everyday society with their personal insecurities. I run a blog called, The Korner. It focuses on self-love, body positivity as well as relationships. This blog has created the platform to network with other fellow body positive advocates and those dealing with personal issues and vulnerabilities. I love being able to support and spread girl love on various platforms.Tell me about your campaign!I have recently started a body positive and South Asian expansion campaign called ‘Crown The Brown’. It focuses on South Asians all over the world and acknowledging their hard work and talent within various industries, whether it is fashion, media or even an everyday occupation that is undermined by others.I established this campaign due to the lack of recognition that many South Asians receive in the industry and the manner in which many are undermined for being themselves due to traditional views depicted within our communities. It helps women feel more empowered to be themselves and basically become proud of who they are and the skin that they are in. The campaign includes exposure on social media platforms by using the hashtag #crownthebrown.It enables the initiative of bringing people together and gaining support from our communities in terms of basically being “crowned” in a sense for our accomplishments.How did you realize that the media needed more South Asian plus-sized women represented? Did you have a particular experience? What makes you so passionate about this issue?When I first started my modelling career, I became extremely sceptic about the lack of diversity regarding South Asians in the industry. I decided to conduct my own research on plus size modelling because I was new to the idea and I had no experience in the industry. I wanted to make the most of this new career by learning from a fellow South Asian plus-size model, until I realized that there were hardly any signed into the agency. I was told that South Asians are minorities and that it was not considered a big demand because of the lack of South Asians everywhere else in the world with the exception of Asia.It was astounding to think that people were promoting diversity, yet South Asians were still being left behind. I was struggling to get work in the industry because I refused to show as much skin as other models. It all comes down to values. I was brought up in a conservative home, as most Indians are and it somehow became an issue within the industry. People often assume that confidence means showing skin, especially if you are plus-size, merely because we have so many insecurities regarding certain body parts but I believe that you can still be confident without having to wear less clothing.There is nothing wrong with showing skin and I admire those who are confident and showcase their confidence in that manner but many people fail to realize that you can be confident both ways, with less or more skin. It became a continuous struggle to justify this as many companies kept wanting skin, which made it harder for me to advocate because I was not able to showcase myself in the light that I desired. I guess my passion is justified by this experience. I was ecstatic to become a body positive activist in general because I have always struggled with my weight but after conducting my research and realizing that the lack of diversity within the industry is a bigger issue, it became my main focus. I realized that I was never able to walk into a store and see a representative of myself on a billboard, poster or magazine.South Asian women have been limited regarding opportunities mainly because people assume that our value and belief system is an issue regarding the expectations in society but it is not an issue. It is remarkable to see so many South Asian women and plus size women finding themselves and showcasing their talent regardless of the expectations of others and I believe that if we had more South Asians in the media representing us, our youth would have role models to admire and be able to feel proud of being South Asian rather than giving into the norm only because it exists.Furthermore, another issue within the industry is age discrimination. Companies assume that plus size fashion relates to an older market and potentially forget to include younger females in their campaigns which added to my struggle in the industry. I experienced being rejected because I was too young for campaigns or brands which I felt was extremely discriminatory because many younger plus size women feel excluded and uncomfortable shopping in certain plus size stores because it becomes labelled as being a brand for older women which excludes the younger plus size generation market, thus limiting their options. There are hardly any younger representatives for plus size brands, which affects how younger girls view themselves. It influences their self-image and they begin to feel even more self-conscious about being bigger at a younger age.What drives you every day toward your goal of increasing representation? How do you handle setbacks?My biggest motivation would have to be my amazing support system, which includes my family, my friends and the support I gain from my social media platforms. It motivates me to work harder every single day. When I walk into a store with my nieces, I often observe their behaviour when they see other little girls or look at posters of women. It is heart-breaking watching them try to fit themselves into that little box of expectation rather than being a proud Indian girl. They start to believe that this is what they have to become in order to be accepted and it should not be the case.There are so many young women wanting to start modelling careers and trying to find themselves. I always receive messages about how they attempt to model but left the idea because it went against their values and agencies expected them to do certain things that they were not comfortable with and that made me work even harder because that mentality needs to change. South Asian women should not have to change their traditional ways because of the opinions of others.We need real representatives that we can relate to on an everyday basis. The lack of diversity that I see each and everyday drives me the most. Walking into a store and seeing a billboard that is assumed to depict diversity yet not a single South Asian depicted is motivation itself.Furthermore, with regards to setbacks, there will always be setbacks. Initially, I would often just decide to give it all up because people would either not acknowledge me as a model or I would just not feel like the campaign is going anywhere. When I feel this way, I read messages from other young ladies having similar struggles and how I helped them through the struggle and it often makes me stronger to work through those setbacks. I eventually learned to persevere and work harder. It’s always good to remember to not have any expectation and to just use the passion that you have in everything that you do. You can never go wrong when you do something with passion, because it creates a never ending drive. It is something that needs to be learned and something we grow into. It takes time to learn how to handle setbacks but once you disregard limitations and use your passion in everything that you do, you will succeed one way or another. I always believe that there is a reason why things do not work out the way you planned, because there is a bigger dream ahead and sometimes not having that planned expectation creates a bigger success that you might not have initially imagined.What is the best advice you've received as you've become the face of this campaign?The best advice I received was that if you don’t do it, nobody will because not everyone has the same vision. I was told that in order to succeed you have to like yourself and like what you are doing because having a mission means having passion to face that mission each and every day regardless of the disappointments that may come your way. Nothing can be done without having a passionate drive for what you are doing and without being secure within yourself, you cannot expect to succeed because it starts from within. We allow other people to distract us from our goals because we allow their opinions to affect us. That can only happen if you are not secure within yourself because if you really become confident within yourself, nobody else matters.Three weird facts about you that the public doesn't know...go!I love old school rock. I probably spend way too many hours just bobbing my head to Queen Music when nobody is watching! I love anything vintage such as music, fashion and old school movies!I have always had this weird phobia of my pants ripping in public and I have probably dreamt about it as well. I always keep an extra pair of pants in my bag because of this phobia.I am obsessed with watching ASMR videos and Mukbangs. It fascinates me immensely. I find it extremely calming yet so creative and out of this world.It's five years from now, and you've achieved your dream. What does your vision look like?In five years, I would hope that I would still have more dreams to follow as I believe that dreams are never ending. There should always be a continuous drive to do something amazing. I would have my own private social work practice and a crown the brown foundation that works towards supporting the dreams of fellow South Asian artists, as well as founding a possible South-Asian modelling agency that works towards breaking the barriers of diversity by ensuring that there is a representative for every South Asian girl on as many billboards, magazines and television screens possible. I would hope to have at least one book published regarding my experience as a South-Asian plus size model and continuous growth and support on my blog, “The Korner”. I would also hope that I would get to travel a lot during that time, to network with as many people possible to grow the industry.And now it's your turn to be the wise one! What is advice you would give someone who is getting their vision off the ground?My advice would be that in order to get your vision off the ground, you have to know who you are. Find yourself, find your purpose and work towards it. Many of us struggle to find ourselves and it leads to missed opportunities and continuous barriers being formed because we allow limitations to control our situations. If you know your purpose in life, then you are unstoppable. There is no limitation in self-acceptance. Being able to find yourself is the most liberating part of life because once you are able to fully grasp the person that you are, you are able to live life to the fullest. Be strong and consistent in your vision, do not let anyone steer you away from your goal and never forget why you chose that vision. Always remember the purpose behind it and do not forget to work on yourself as well because you are your biggest critic.Top three bucket list items:Travel all throughout India and learn more about the indigenous culture in various parts of IndiaLearn to play at least two musical instruments (Guitar and piano)To have an adventurous experience in a foreign country, such as skydiving, kayaking, hiking.Five people you recommend people follow and why they've influenced you.1. Bishamber Das (@bishamberdas)Bishamber Das is my role model. Bishamber Das is Britain’s First Asian Plus Size Model. She is currently part of the campaign regarding the lack of diversity of South Asians in the industry and she influenced me to become an activist as we experienced similar diversity issues within our respective modelling fields. Bishamber shows that Indian women can be classy, confident and sexy without having to show skin and I love that about her. She shows that confidence comes from within rather than from just showcasing skin.2. Ta’Shan (@tashan_music)Ta’Shan is a musician in the UK. She is a South Asian body positive musician. Ta’Shan expands the minds of musicians by showcasing her amazing talent as a musician. She is often called Bombay Mami. I love that she is proud Indian. She embraces her culture in many of her music videos and photoshoots, as well as her live performances with regards to her style. It influences me to be proud and brown regardless of the norm within the South African society.3. Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling)Mindy Kaling is a well-known actress and is known for her role in The Mindy Project. Mindy inspired me immensely. Mindy showed me how to be confident and outspoken not only as a woman but as a South-Asian woman. She allowed me to become more opinionated and fight for what I believe in. Mindy also embraces a lot of colour in her wardrobe which I usually would never do being a plus-size girl but it influenced me to become more open to the idea of colour and adding patterns to my wardrobe!4. Neha Parulkar (@nehaparulkar)Neha Parulkar is a body positive influener and Plus size model in India. She is extremely motivational and uplifting. Neha promotes self-love and spreading girl love. Neha influenced me to start my campaign as she initially struggled to find herself within the industry but succeeded because of her passion for the promotion of body positivity5. Aarti Olivia Dubey (@curvesbecomeher)Aarti is a plus size body positive advocate focusing on self-love, mental health and chronic illnesses. Aarti was one of the first body positive accounts I followed. Aarti inspired me to become more accepting of my body and to find my worth. Aarti often motivated me to start advocating and using my platform the way I envisioned it but I was never brave enough to start at the time. I am thankful for the positive messages Aarti spreads, it really motivated me to work harder.

A Healthy Disregard for the Impossible: My Journey to Becoming an Author.

My mother is convinced that my reading habit is the reason I needed glasses at the ripe old age of 5...once my parents had turned off the lights, I'd often read in my dimly lit bedroom. My dad likes to tell the story of how he found me at 5 AM, under the covers of my blanket, reading the latest Harry Potter by a tiny reading light after staying up all night.And with the love of reading came one of writing. I have years of journals that hopefully, no one will ever read, from 5th grade until freshman year of college, filled with the drama, descriptions of boys I liked, and all the things on any teenager's mind.As I got older, and began setting better goals for myself, one that was always on the horizon was to become an author. And at 27 years old, I did. Here's the tale of forgetting the statistics, remembering the reason you love to write, and pushing until failure isn't an option.In the summer of 2012, I was about to enter graduate school for my M.Ed. I had a month off between the day I quit my job and the day I was starting school. I wish I could describe it as anything other than, "the stars aligned," but that's how it felt. I decided to write my book.Writing The Rearranged Life was cathartic in so many ways. There were issues with boys that my friends and I had faced, descriptions of the university I'd attended for college and soon would attend again for my master's, and tightly wound relationships with parents that made their way to the page. It was a compulsion to finish. Eventually, I had over 200,000 words.Now, if you're a writer, you'll see the 200k word count and hysterically laugh at how I thought that could possibly be a novel. For those of you who aren't (most of you!)--a typical women's fiction/romance-type book (I didn't even know what genre I was) is between 80k and 100k.Then I started grad school, and for about nine months of my yearlong program, the book sat untouched in my computer though I talked about it incessantly with my friends at school.But graduation came. So began the revising. FYI, revising is more of a writer's career than writing is. A book goes through so many iterations before it hits an agent or editor's desk. I cut my book in half (still too long) and blindly edited and revised it myself. Then came the fun part.I googled, "How do you get published?"I'm not even lying.I didn't have the first clue about what I was getting into. Writers Digest, a website that offers so many incredible resources, was my first stop and that's where I learned about agents representing writers. From there, I started researching different agencies and who represented the kind of fiction I wrote (which, at the time, was called New Adult--another new discovery!). I submitted the 95k manuscript to ten agents at first...Each agent had requirements of their own--a query letter (a pitch letter), a one-page summary, and the first x pages were standard. It was like the most nerve-wracking job application of my life each time. Some agents asked for the full manuscript. Some offered feedback, which I compiled into a list if it felt true to me and the story itself. Others passed.That's another thing they tell you about writing but no one understands properly until they go through it--you get rejected a lot. It can either make you or break you. Writing and authorship is a masochistic endeavor if you're someone who relies on praise. Something inside stung a bit when I got a rejection but a more compelling feeling grew that this pursuit would eventually click and this was the path I was meant to be on. I've never been filled with so much conviction.In November of 2013, I submitted to Stacey Donaghy of Donaghy Literary Group. In January, she requested to see the entire manuscript. Here's the other thing you forget as a writer, and don't know as a non-writer...agents and editors are swamped. They plug through their editing and revisions for their actual clients, and have to read the x number of sample pages from hundreds of submissions a week, AND read full manuscripts from the ones they request. I didn't hear from Stacey until July 7th of 2013...by then, I'd assumed she'd passed on it and I was on a rewrite of my entire story. I have read that you should get approximately 80 rejections before you rewrite your story. I'm not sure if that's true or not. But I got a few and decided I'd had enough and could do better. The feedback list I'd compiled from agents previous were taken to heart and I started to fix the kinks in earnest.As I was working on it, Stacey called with an offer of representation. It was the best day of my life until then and I couldn't have been more excited about our new partnership. To this day, she has been a godsend.We revised The Rearranged Life and she read over the second version of the manuscript. Eventually, we went out on submission with it to a few different houses and got a bite from Curiosity Quills in November of 2014. And in 2015, TRL would be released.The journey doesn't end there. Like any field, one dynamic accomplishment or award or moment doesn't make a career. A lifelong career as a writer is defined by a body of work.In following years, there have been plenty of stops and starts. On an Annika level, I worked for a few years while juggling writing, but then entered graduate school for a second time in 2016. By 2017, I'd started a full-time internship. I didn't realize what an ass-kicking experience school, writing and work would be. Note to self: two full-time endeavors are relatively doable. Three will break you (if you're me). Add in a move to a new city, a demanding internship, travel...2017 was a doozy! But that's another story for another time.The Rearranged Life was initially planned to be a trilogy--the second book would follow Nithya and James, and the third would follow Max, James' brother. Unfortunately, for reasons I'd rather not elaborate on here (because they're endless), I pulled out of the deal for the second and third books because I was unhappy with my publisher. I was so grateful for them publishing my first...but sometimes you have to make the tough choice.I did write a story about a football team--but it didn't get picked up yet and we tabled it. I'll be revising that this summer because I believe in it so much.Then, Sourcebooks, who had read that football story, requested a three-book proposal about Indian-American characters. That is what I'm working on now. Even that has had its ups and downs with revisions and rewrites and writer's block. But it will be released next year, most likely.I also started an Instagram account where I highlight poetry I write in my spare time and connect with readers. It's been one of my favorite aspects of authorship--being able to connect through words and then making very real friendships out of internet acquaintances.Slowly but surely, the ride continues...and every day I am filled with awe that I get to do what I love. Even on my worst day of writing, it's still the best day of work because I get to feel passionate about what I do. It hasn't been easy all the time. I'll have days where I'd like to quit...but this entire experience began with a healthy disregard of the impossible, a concept I learned about at a leadership conference in college. People can rattle off statistics, like the whopping one I read that 1 million unagented manuscripts are floating around at any given time, looking for representation. You are theoretically the one in a million--and you have to disregard the odds in a healthy way to be able to push onward. I was aware of the odds against a career in publishing but I just figured it didn't apply to me and that level of happy disregard is precisely what drove me to succeed. In fact, it still does. This is just the beginning and I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Book Review: All We Ever Wanted, by Emily Giffin

Author perk: the advanced copies of books that are releasing soon. Author confession: Emily Giffin is one of the writers who reignited my love of reading and writing post-college. In fact, her story of leaving her law career and giving herself time to write her novel (Something Borrowed, which then went on to become a bestseller and a movie) is what propelled me to make a similar move and give myself an allotted amount of time post-master's degree to find an agent and complete the revision of TRL.A lack of diversity is something you can't unsee once you really recognize that it exists in the publishing world. Many of my favorite authors have fallen off my list because I recognized how their characters were all white...and some of you may remember that I worried Emily Giffin would become the same way after her last (still amazing) novel.I am no longer afraid. Emily Giffin went there. And she knocked it out of the park.All We Ever Wanted follows three people in Nashville (a place I lived for six months, so it was fun to see it in print!)--a wealthy mom named Nina who has a son attending a prestigious private school, a scholarship student's dad named Tom, and Tom's daughter Lyla, who attends the same school as Nina's son. When a scandalous photo of Lyla makes her way around school, all three lives are affected deeply and will never be the same.Emily does an amazing job of capturing the complexity of being a teenager, and the nuances of why teens do the things they do...as well as beautifully going through the different emotions parents feel as their children are hurt, finding themselves, and navigating their world. The book is also lovely insight into how tough situations, like the technological complexities children face nowadays, can impact generations beyond millennials.What affected me most deeply about this book was the layers of labeling that those in certain groups make of others.The poor seeing the rich as against them.The rich seeing the poorer or blue collar workers in the world as those seeking handouts.How attitudes are learned by children.How scandals that occur to people of color are often seen as deserving, or the norm, whereas those same scandals by people with white skin prompt outrage.How racism can be labeled as racist by some, and seen as a mild infraction by those who aren't affected by the dirtiness of words soaked in hatred.If this book does reach a reader, there is no way that a reader won't think over their own previous actions and words and recognize if they've slipped up when viewing someone of a lower socioeconomic class, a different ethnic background or sex.Once again, Emily Giffin shows the world as anything but black and white, pinpointing the human side of characters and never making them completely right or wrong. I love that I can trust her writing on that--she always manages to depict characters with depth and facets that make them real. It's always grey area and that's precisely what makes her writing so powerful.If you've read Emily Giffin's novels before, then this one is different in subject matter and no different in the high quality readers have come to expect. And if you haven't, I'd suggest you read it simply for the way it touches your soul and makes you question how technology, wealth, gender, race, and class intertwine to create a problem.

Dear Teenage Annika...

No one ever forgets their teenage years--no matter how much we want to. Mine were, surprisingly, some of the happiest times of my life, though that's with the benefit of hindsight. The drama back then could have eclipsed shows like One Tree Hill, which I watched religiously (ahem. And maybe still do).I remember my first crush (who I'm still buddies with and luckily, can laugh with about it now). Prom had a lead-up that was a bit dramatic (as high school relationships can be...insert the story about one best friend stealing the other's boyfriend and all hell breaking loose) but it was an amazing day with my still-best friend and I getting our hair done together, renting A Cinderella Story from the video store (this is probably aging me...) and ordering pizza. Then we went to Taco Bell in our dresses for a fancy dinner.And that time my parents went to Las Vegas with my brother on a family trip visiting relatives and I used work as a reason to be left behind. Cue the late nights with lots of snacks (and surprisingly, no alcohol! Who says all teens are wild?) and with half the basketball team in my house.People always say your twenties are your discovery decade. Your thirties, the one where you finally grow comfortable with yourself and accept the way you are. And your forties are sometimes the happiest time in your life because you're so settled.Last week, I was messaging with a girl in the community I grew up in. Now, a college senior, I've known her since she was a toddler and her growth is one that still catches me by surprise. She was stressed and said my writing helped her--which led to a conversation about how she was doing. She mentioned the anxiety of impending graduation and I told her we'd all been there and I knew she'd be okay.The thing is...we've all been there but it's still the first time for the person in question. And our stories of when we were young don't take their nervousness away as they face their obstacles. How many of us really listened to our parents and adults who did, in fact, usually know better when we were going through our own teenage years?Nevertheless, if I got to meet my teenage self now...there are so many things I'd tell her.1) Your body is perfect. Back then, I worried so much about my weight and how the other girls looked--but I was 125 lbs, and funnily enough, when I look at my track and field team photographs now, I am no chubbier or skinnier than anyone else. And as someone who gained a lot of weight in college and after, I wish I had more confidence back then. I would tell the girl in the photographs that I'd kill to be in that shape now, and that she should own her skin exactly the way it was.2) For the love of God, your parents are not people who know nothing. They will eventually become your best friends, your rocks, and the two people you call for every small decision because they are always right. While you're at it, listen when Mom tells you to become a journalist.3) Discipline yourself. While you become a professional dancer, a track athlete, and begin to show the inkling you'll become a writer...these things happen accidentally and as they should. But a little discipline would push you over the edge.As I look back now, those are the top three things I'd tell myself...but I'm also a firm believer that things happen the way they should. Those years of diary-writing were the baby steps in learning to describe drama prior to becoming a professional writer just eight years later. The missteps on the way to medical school (like learning I did not, in fact, want to be a doctor) were precisely what led to a career path I never saw coming as a teacher. All those times holding babies at parties and wishing I could work with them all day were quiet indicators of the future. And the body confidence? Well, as much as I still struggle with it now, my personality became far more empathetic, compassionate and bubbly as compensation--things I wouldn't take back for anything. At the end of the day, we can't change the past and while sometimes I wish my career had been more linear or I'd been more decisive about what I wanted to do, the jagged and winding road often leads to unexpected destinations, ones that yield more reward than anything else. So why write this post?I've finished my second master's degree and I'm on the verge of turning in a few manuscripts...professionally, that means balancing multiple deadlines and impending careers (with a pivot thrown in, going from education back to healthcare). Inevitably, when writing cover letters, it means looking back on the paths you've traveled and sorting out what mattered. And going back, for me, always leads to my senior year of high school. That is over a decade of "been there, done that" experiences. The triumphal shout of goals we've met. The occasional regret. The "I wonder how that would have turned out," for the paths not taken.And the realization that without the random turns, the backwards movement, the leaps ahead and even the momentary regret, we wouldn't be standing where we are. If I had chosen journalism as a major, for example, perhaps I would be writing for a magazine or newspaper by now--but would the writing as a day job sapped me of the energy to write my books? If I had gone to medical school, would I have been able to find the time to blog, connect with strangers and find an agent? If I never became a teacher...would I want to be a mother as badly as I do now?Happiness might be a choice--but so is regret. Looking back is never a bad thing--it serves as a reminder of how far you've come. But the notion that checking in the rearview every two minutes to see where the missed road leads deprives you of facing forward and paying attention to where you are and all the help it took, the sacrifices you made, and the achievements you unlocked to get there. Getting over regrets takes forgiveness (most of the time, of yourself), perspective and recognizing how you still have roads to choose in the future that can change where you are now. And as I move forward in my career and in this new phase, it's one thing I remind myself of constantly, to look back with pride and note the incredible experiences that have made me who I am now, prepped for whatever comes my way. My favorite quote, one that is apt to close this blog post, is one that sits on my desk at my parents' house. "Your journey has molded you for the greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time."

Travel Diaries: Cherry Blossom Edition.

There's been a lot of weekend traveling happening in AS world! Between a quick trip to Virginia, a ride home, and a weekend in Washington DC, there have been so many road trip memories made, laughs had, and bonding happening during hours spent in the passenger seat.DC, as many of you know, has the famous cherry blossom festival that occurs toward the end of March. This year, because of the lovely onslaught of snow storms the east coast has had, the peak time for the flowers got pushed back to the first weekend in April.Though we went a week early, it was still so worth it. While the rest of the events of the weekend will be recapped in painful (I kid. It was fun.) detail in my newsletter, Sunday was spent grabbing breakfast at the hotel, driving 40 miles from Leesburg to central DC and walking down Constitution Avenue, around the Washington Monument and down to the Tidal Basin. The Washington Monument always makes me think of my childhood! When we were little, we made countless trips to the capital with family who were visiting the east coast or making a trip from India. We've done all the monuments and the International Spy Museum (amazing, by the way, if you want to pretend you're James Bond for an afternoon!). But the Monument reminds me of times with my grandfather and grandmother, and the trip we made to the top when I was 9 years old. Walking around it with the cherry blossoms was like a hug from them.From the Washington Monument, the Tidal Basin is only a couple minutes' walk. And what an incredible sight it is. Okay, not even considering the fact that I've been on a pink kick lately with clothes, accessories and all the things...it is breathtaking to see a ring of pink around the water, at the foot of the Jefferson Memorial. It was absolutely beautiful. Accompanying the Cherry Blossom Festival was a stage where artists from various Asian countries showcased their culture and performed. Drums, singing, and brightly colored silk outfits only added to the vibe of spring celebration.Post-cherry blossoms, we took an Uber to brunch at Proof. Recommendation time--their bartender makes the best mocktails ever. No lie. Even the waitress recommended it, and you KNOW when a waitress gives you secret information about the drink-creating talents of a bartender that she's onto something. I also got the eggs benedict, which was mouthwateringly good. Coated with a chipotle sauce and poached egg, the buttered biscuit was enough to clog an artery and so. so. so. good. All in all, a Sunday spent amongst the blooms was the most relaxing time and I suddenly see what all the hype about those beautiful pink flowers is. 10/10 recommend!

Book Review: The Exact Opposite of Okay, by Laura Steven

The Exact Opposite of Okay.Which, ironically, was actually one of the best books I've ever read. No. I'm not kidding. I'm not playing up the abilities of its author, Laura Steven, nor am I harping about "those feminist things" in a way that'll make you cringe.Sweet. Mother. Of. Mary. This book changed everything.The cast of characters Laura put together was loud, unyielding, so alive that they felt like real people I went to high school with. And diverse.Let's say it louder for people in the back: THE BOOK LOOKED LIKE THE WORLD DOES.For a South Asian girl like me, seeing a South Asian character best friend with the spunkiest personality imaginable (hysterical, by the way) and an obnoxiousness that only a high schooler can both manage to impress and induce an eye roll with, was the icing on a cake I've waited for my entire life.Okay. I guess I'll back up now. Laura Steven's THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF OKAY (capitals are necessary because it's that good, not just because it's the title) follows Izzy O'Neill, a smartass aspiring comedian, who has sex and ends up the subject of a defamatory website that leaks nude pictures of her. The story follows her blog posts as she becomes a local, national, and global infamous celebrity and how she deals with the insane slut shaming.Because Izzy is an aspiring comedian, the entire book is hysterical even in the moments of total anger and hurt. There is always a rebound snarky remark to take a depressing moment and add some humor in it--and it manages to leave the sting of the profound unfairness behind to make you think.The cast of characters, as I mentioned, is diverse. From Ajita, Izzy's Nepali-American best friend, to Carter a black boy who Izzy likes, to Meg, a wheelchair bound friend...Laura's writing doesn't add diversity for the sake of token characters. The world just is. And for someone who has rarely seen her race portrayed (even my own writing!) outside of certain confining boundaries, to see Ajita's personality come alive was like lifting a burden of representation I didn't know I was carrying on my shoulders so heavily.And the issues the book tackles. Racism. Sexism. Slut-shaming. Sex scandals. The double standard of boys versus girls in owning their sexual identity. The Nice Guy syndrome. The Friend Zone. And it's all done with so much grace. Laura navigates issues that make us think so flawlessly, with such hilarity, and doesn't seek to provide answers because there aren't any that could be adequately covered in a book--instead, it draws attention to it in a way that you'll never unsee and opens your eyes to the way the world acts when a girl gets caught experimenting and having fun.I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I wish I had the words to adequately convey what it was like to read it and see people I knew, to chuckle through a Webinar I was supposed to be listening to at the sheer number of one-liners, and to pause just to think, "My God, that's the exact opposite of okay."

Book Review: The Exact Opposite of Okay

The Exact Opposite of Okay.Which, ironically, was actually one of the best books I've ever read. No. I'm not kidding. I'm not playing up the abilities of its author, Laura Steven, nor am I harping about "those feminist things" in a way that'll make you cringe.Sweet. Mother. Of. Mary. This book changed everything.The cast of characters Laura put together was loud, unyielding, so alive that they felt like real people I went to high school with. And diverse.Let's say it louder for people in the back: THE BOOK LOOKED LIKE THE WORLD DOES.For a South Asian girl like me, seeing a South Asian character best friend with the spunkiest personality imaginable (hysterical, by the way) and an obnoxiousness that only a high schooler can both manage to impress and induce an eye roll with, was the icing on a cake I've waited for my entire life.Okay. I guess I'll back up now. Laura Steven's THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF OKAY (capitals are necessary because it's that good, not just because it's the title) follows Izzy O'Neill, a smartass aspiring comedian, who has sex and ends up the subject of a defamatory website that leaks nude pictures of her. The story follows her blog posts as she becomes a local, national, and global infamous celebrity and how she deals with the insane slut shaming.Because Izzy is an aspiring comedian, the entire book is hysterical even in the moments of total anger and hurt. There is always a rebound snarky remark to take a depressing moment and add some humor in it--and it manages to leave the sting of the profound unfairness behind to make you think.The cast of characters, as I mentioned, is diverse. From Ajita, Izzy's Nepali-American best friend, to Carter a black boy who Izzy likes, to Meg, a wheelchair bound friend...Laura's writing doesn't add diversity for the sake of token characters. The world just is. And for someone who has rarely seen her race portrayed (even my own writing!) outside of certain confining boundaries, to see Ajita's personality come alive was like lifting a burden of representation I didn't know I was carrying on my shoulders so heavily.And the issues the book tackles. Racism. Sexism. Slut-shaming. Sex scandals. The double standard of boys versus girls in owning their sexual identity. The Nice Guy syndrome. The Friend Zone. And it's all done with so much grace. Laura navigates issues that make us think so flawlessly, with such hilarity, and doesn't seek to provide answers because there aren't any that could be adequately covered in a book--instead, it draws attention to it in a way that you'll never unsee and opens your eyes to the way the world acts when a girl gets caught experimenting and having fun.I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I wish I had the words to adequately convey what it was like to read it and see people I knew, to chuckle through a Webinar I was supposed to be listening to at the sheer number of one-liners, and to pause just to think, "My God, that's the exact opposite of okay."

Ten Ways to Gain Clarity When Life Seems Messy.

Between social media, television, books and the general interconnectivity of the world, the rat race is an overwhelming notion. There are points of competition everywhere, even when you have no intention of comparing yourself to the successes of someone else. It's impossible for it not to seep into your mind. Sometimes, the comparisons make one feel like they've lost a game they didn't know they were playing.Then it's just a matter of slipping down the rabbit hole. Suddenly, all your choices are doubted and you wonder if every decision you've made is wrong.Fear not. There are ways to escape that haze and regain the clarity required to continue forward on your own unique path.1) Take a walk. Yeah, yeah. You hear this one all the time. But did you know that exercise stimulates blood flow and oxygen to your brain?This in turn causes your mind to function sharper, think better and promote memory strength. All the better to remember you are successful and intelligent and right on time.2) Take up a creative project. During undergrad, we had exam weeks during certain points in the semester. As an RA, I had 100 stressed out students on my floors. I organized a trip to the local pottery painting place after a couple of those exam weeks to ease the tension--and I cannot describe how smoothly life seemed to operate afterward. According to the Cleveland Clinic, an adult has over 60,000 thoughts a day and 95% are the same. Creativity taps into the 5% you aren't using all the time and allows you to revitalize your senses.3) Break your routine. Type-A folk, hear me out! Routines provide comfort, efficiency and an organizational system for our minds. However, like the 95% of thoughts we have that are the same, mixing it up makes your brain come alive and work a little harder. By doing so, you may be able to shake off the funk you're in.4) Scare yourself. Afraid of heights? Maybe take a trip to the observation deck of a skyscraper. Hate driving in the snow? Go for a ride around the block. Raise your anxiety for a few minutes and get yourself a blood rush. Note, however, that tackling a fear should be reasonable--if you know you'll panic (as I do with a phobia of snakes), please take care of yourself first and don't attempt anything that will cause more damage than good.5) Read a book. I know...a writer is telling you to read a book. But imagining yourself as someone else, feeling their losses and eventual victories, can snap you out of your own comparison game and bring you a fresh new perspective about your own life.6) Build or fix something. It doesn't have to be crazy. Maybe your faucet leaks. Perhaps you've needed to put up a shelf in your living room for ages and you've put it off. Maybe, like me, your fridge makes an odd squeak every once in a while and you need to investigate. The sense of accomplishment will help you refocus and feel good about yourself, allowing you to tackle your next project with greater confidence and verve.7) Write a note to someone you haven't spoken to in a while. A few days ago, while my family and I were on a mini-vacation, we were watching home videos from my 11th birthday. I realized I hadn't spoken to one of the girls on it in a while, and I sent her a message. Now, in the mornings, I look forward to hearing about Stephanie's life and her day, and it reminds me of being a child and all the dreams I had that I've fulfilled. By reaching out to people who have known you at your heights, you're surrounding yourself with positivity and the belief in your abilities.8) Put out a call to the universe. Don't you roll your eyes at me! Simply say out loud and proud, "I want the universe to give me and my loved ones all the successes we desire." Soon enough, success stories will come pouring in and they will feel like your own. By relishing other people's triumphs, our own hearts lift and we can feel inspired. The universe will listen...believe me. You will get yours too.9) Go hit something. I'm talking about batting cages, a punching bag, your feet to the pavement as you go for a run...Work off some of that frustration! Like exercise helps blood flow, simply channeling that anger and fogginess can give you a clear mind, as if you've unloaded the weight on your shoulders and are ready to start fresh.10) Give thanks. On a personal note, watching marriage proposals, babies, houses, promotions and book successes when I've felt low is sometimes so depressing. I'm not bitter at anyone else. In fact, I'm usually the first to congratulate someone on their good fortune and hard work...but when you're already low, sometimes it can make you question, "Why not me?" I had a good friend remind me of how I got to where I am...the sacrifices I made but also the support I had along the way. By giving thanks for the small things--even something as simple as "Thank goodness there were oranges at the grocery store today when I was craving!" can go a long way in granting perspective.

15 Unique Date Ideas for Valentines Day.

Confession: I love Valentines Day. I know it's a hokey corporate-constructed faux-holiday that is really only in existence so jewelry, flower and perfume markets can capitalize on the time period between New Years and Memorial Weekend.Now that we got that out of our system...the reason I love Valentines Day is because I think celebrating love in all its forms is kind of fun, and kind of cute to watch when you see guys rush to their nearest jeweler or chocolate shop, and girls try to figure out what to get their boyfriends. And...chocolate. goes. on. sale. I guess instead of thinking of it as Singles' Awareness Day, it's always just been a fun day to celebrate friendship, a relationship, or (when I was a teacher!) the love of little children who make us laugh.Anyway, outside of dinner, jewelry, roses, and chocolate--there are so many fun ways to show your loved ones how much you love them. Here are some ideas. I hope you like them and if you use them, let me know how they turned out!1. The Note Cube: Did you see my Instagram? I had an IG post about this gift I had made for someone a while ago. It's a collection of customized notes you write that are printed on beautiful cardstock paper, wrapped with a bow in a lovely little box. The Note Cube can be a collaborative effort (like if you're making one for a parent) or one where you do it on your own, and you can add pictures. They even have pre-made options if you aren't someone who can write 60 little lovenotes for someone.2. Go out in the car, bundle up in blankets and look at the stars. I know a guy who once mentioned wanting to go on a hike to his favorite spot in California and watch the stars in his car. It stuck with me...and one of the things I miss most about living in PA is exactly that: seeing a sky full of stars. It's a romantic, free, quiet way to bond with someone you love on a cold winter night!3. Have a picnic at home, surrounded by candles. Who says the cold weather has to keep you from enjoying a spring/summer activity? Set up in your living room...it's cheap, easy, fun and you won't feel bad if you forget the wine because you can pop right up and get it. Add candles for a sweet touch.4. Connect with your inner supermodel. You know, sometimes being in front of a camera is kind of awkward and not everyone's cup of tea. But when it's you and someone you love, it becomes a fun way to connect and laugh, because you're posing with the person who sees past your flaws. Stage a little photoshoot with your phones in front of a fun brick wall or a place you guys love...and have fun!5. Take a class. Does it surprise you that I would tell you to go learn something? I didn't think so. But cooking classes. Painting classes. Sewing. Writing. Building things. Anything that you both have always wanted to do, or perhaps something that neither of you ever considered. Push yourselves out of your comfort zone and do it together.6. Write a letter. In today's world, we get so many emails from work and so many text messages that we've forgotten the sheer magic of a handwritten letter or a meaningful, long email. I know it sounds so silly--but I still have a love letter written to me when I was 19. That's 12 years ago. Some heartfelt messages still make you smile years later, and I think bringing back the art of the written word for the person you love is an amazing gift.7. Go for a drive or a little roadtrip. There's this old saying about how guys have good conversations side-by-side. I know some of my best conversations with friends or otherwise have occurred while driving somewhere. So go for a long drive or take a road trip to something ridiculous, like the world's largest Ketchup bottle if it's nearby...and let the road guide your conversation.8. Pottery painting...or something artistic. There's this place back home called 2000 degrees where you can paint greenware with an assortment of glazes. They fire the pottery, and two days later you have a fully functional piece of pottery--from piggy banks to plates to coffee cups. Go together. Paint together. Laugh at each other's ability (or lack thereof) and exchange the artistic piece. You'll always look back to that Valentine's Day when you drink from that coffee cup or use that flower vase.9. Staycation time! If you've got the means, get a hotel room in your own city. Take a tourist's perspective and find something you've always wanted to do in your city or that visitors want to and go enjoy it. It'll change your perspective.10. Go to dinner and order for each other. You know those tests for significant others to find out how well they know you? I'd say consider this a test but really, have them order something different than you usually get...talk about what you loved. Enjoy the meal and the conversation that follows.11. Make lists together. Over dinner in your living room or coffee at a cafe, make lists for your future--where you want to go someday, the sights you want to see, music you'd like to dance to someday, converts you want to see, things you want to do in life with that person by your side, goals you have...the possibilities are endless. But have fun setting the stage for your future and envisioning it happen.12. If you live together and need some decor for your place, buy a canvas and some paint...and paint something together. Make it abstract or detailed. Whatever you want it to be...but do it together and create a work of art.13. Buy books for each other. Reading tastes are pretty unique and they give a lot of insight about loved ones. Buy a book you enjoy, make a pact that both of you will read the book you are gifted, and share notes afterward. It can be a book club for both of you!14. Even better than buying books for each other...go to your nearest major bookstore and leave notes in random books that people will eventually buy and stumble upon!15. Build a blanket fort and watch a movie in it. Stuff some pillows in for comfort and fall asleep there if you get the chance. Why? Because Valentine's Day is something we've celebrated since we were kids, whether it was forced in school or whether it's our favorite now...Connect with your inner child, look at the person next to you and enjoy a movie.