Steve Biddulph's Blog, page 8

your kids your story

Encouraging good dads to be great dads!

Your story is important. Who you are and how you live your life is your narrative unfolding. Being a dad is part of your story. The lives and personalities of your children, the shape of your family, the joys and the struggles of raising a family all go toward forming your life story.

Last Sunday afternoon I ran a Good dads GREAT DADS seminar for 20 dads and to hear their stories of fatherhood was very inspiring. One dad told us how he took extra long-service leave and spent 6 months doing a road trip around Australia with his wife and two children, aged 8 and 10. Talk about building great family memories. What a chapter in his life story!

During the week I ran an interactive seminar in Sydney as part of a conference for Not for Profit organisations. The seminar was titled The Power of storytelling for engaging donors and evoking emotion.

I shared about the birth of KIDS HOPE in Australia and the thrill of telling stories of transformed lives and communities as part of the marketing strategy to get it established far and wide. I also shared about my personal journey with Leukaemia and how through that difficult journey, the concept for Good dads GREAT DADS was born.

After the seminar, one man who has a national leadership role, came up to me and told me that I had challenged him personally about the importance of telling his story. He said ” My story is important and you have challenged me to share my story with others.”

I reminded each of the delegates that their story is both unique and important.

As I wrote this blog my focus was on our storytelling and how fatherhood is central to our story.

Photos and videos help us to remember our story. My wife wrote down funny or cute sayings that each of our children said in the early years. It is hilarious to read these out and remember just how funny our kids were.

Be sure to capture your story in different ways as the years roll by. You will treasure these memories later in life.

How you react and respond as a dad, what your children teach you and what you learn about yourself because you are a dad are all important aspects that add to your story.

I am now 48 and as I reflect on raising a family and the significance of children in my life I can see just how much they have contributed to who I have become as a mature man, including a few grey hairs and extra wrinkles for my efforts. My kids and my wife are central to my story.

How are you capturing your memories? How is being a dad shaping your story?

UN family week

Encouraging good dads to be great dads!

May 15 is the United Nation’s International Family Day. In Australia we are having a national family week beginning on the 15th of May to correspond to this important occasion.

What might you be able to do in your community to promote, celebrate and commemorate the family?

Please let me know if Google are adding a promo or activity of any sort on this WordPress blog.

It looks as though I may need to get a whole new website for Good dads GREAT DADS as this intrusion has only come to my attention today.

Please let me know in a reply to this post. Warmest regards to every dad that receives this blog.

May you be building an awesome family and wonderful memories for your kids.

They call me Dad

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

Friends of ours have their children address them by their first names and have done since they were in their early teens. Call me old fashion but it just seems weird to me. I love that my kids call me dad. Its part of my identity and in relation to them, it seems like a more intimate or personal title.

A person’s first name is the sweetest word in the world and we should use someone’s name often when speaking with them as it affirms them and shows them that we are genuinely interested in them. I guess it is a personal preference thing, but for me and my household I am dad and always will be. Adding to that, assuming things all click into gear, I will possibly one day have the esteemed title of GRANDDAD. Wow what a privilege!

I enjoyed taking two of my grown sons for a day at the beach this week. We had an inflatable rubber boat and allowed ourselves to get smashed and tumbled by the ocean waves all the while laughing and mucking around as big boys do. Spending time together with our children remains one of the richest experiences in life.

The challenge for busy dads in todays’ world is making sure we do spend lots of quality time with our kids while they are young and in their formative years. They rely on us for so much of their development. This is the subject of my book which I am patiently waiting for Apple to approve for the Itunes store. If we have made our children a huge priority while they are young, demonstrated through lots of quality time with them. There is a much stronger chance they will actually want to spend time with us later in life.

We have children to be parents. This is a lifetime commitment. How much more enjoyable if they genuinely want to hang out with you from time to time in your later years and not see visiting you as a chore or a once a year have-to-do tradition. Apart from exceptional circumstances, there is a sowing and reaping principle at work in these prime relationships for sure.

Cherish your kids, enjoy that they call you dad, spend valuable time with them as a group and especially build in some one on one time with each of them.

May I introduce you to Life of Dad in the USA. These guys have connected with us and the GDGD Facebook community. Have a look at their website and some of the awesome activities they offer to dads.

http://lifeofdad.com/

Also if you would like to connect with me and other dads at the good dads GREAT DADS Facebook page click on this link.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/142920...

 

Dads encouraging dads

Encouraging good dads to be great dads!

Be the dad you wish you had!

Some men have great memories of how their dad was fully there for them when they were young.  Today they enjoy a strong relationship with their father and have regular and meaningful contact with them.

Is that you? If so, count yourself blessed among men. You are among the 10% of men in Australia and 18% of men in America that can put their hand up for belonging to this fortunate group according to Steve Biddulph’s research.

I’m sure that many of our dads, if still living, wish they could turn back the clock and re-visit their father-child parenting experience as I know that life has shown them where the gaps were in their parenting of you and I.

As you think about your dad and what your relationship with him was like, what do you wish would have been different for you as a child. How is your relationship with him today? What might be different had he been more engaged with you and involved in your life?

I wonder how much like your father you are today?  How much are you fathering your children just like he fathered you? After all, he was your primary role model.

Becoming the dad we wish we had is not an attempt to bag out our fathers or magnify their shortcomings, but rather to challenge ourselves to be all that we can be in our fatherly role for our children. There are so many great fathering books on the market and so many great men doing great work to encourage dads to fulfil their potential as fathers. Google “Raising Boys” and “Raising Girls” for starters.

Check out these awesome websites that offer everything from outdoor adventure for you and your children, resources, great blogs and other inspiration through to practical wisdom and local discussion groups.

http://www.fatheringadventures.com.au/

http://bettermen.com.au/

http://www.victoria.ymca.org.au/cpa/h...

These guys do the great work they do to help guys like us to be better at being fathers so that our kids will have the dads we wish we had. I commend them to you.

What are some other resources for dads you would like to promote? Let me know and I will list them.

If you would like to connect with a group of dads online, visit good dads great dads on Facebook and get involved.

Tim Costello on Fatherhood

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

Sometimes its the little things that can mean so much. I just enjoyed 20 minutes of throwing a frisbee in our backyard with my 19-year-old son. It doesn’t take much to experience joy as a dad.

Tim Costello has written the foreword for my new book which is about to be launched. His reflection on fatherhood is rather special. I thought I would share it with you.

By Tim Costello

Australian literature is replete with stories of absent dads, from Henry Lawson’s tales of courageous women battling to raise poor kids with a missing father, to the modern-day phenomenon of workaholic absent fathers. Yet fathering is a man’s most important calling.  Seeing children grow and thrive is life’s greatest reward, and the rising of new generations is what moves humanity forward.  This is a book that addresses the task of being a father, and it is inspiring.

I find it encouraging that more and more fathers are taking a much more active role in parenting – something incredibly positive for the fathers, their partners and their children alike.  But being a parent isn’t always easy – knowing what to do doesn’t always come naturally.  And all kinds of circumstances can make the job harder, especially for those parenting alone, or who are separated from their partners.  So it really matters that fathers share their experiences and learn from each other.  Hopefully this book will make a real difference to many men struggling to make the most of the unique privilege and opportunity that fatherhood gives us.

Growing up I was fortunate to be very close to my father – who for a few years I saw every day at school as well as at home.  He was a powerful yet humble role model – a teacher by vocation, and truly a teacher by nature.  He conveyed to me so much about love and belonging, about responsibility and care, and about the joy of life.  He was always an encouraging voice, nurturing care and curiosity about the world, and affirming all of us as we faced life’s big challenges and questions.  He shared equally an enthusiasm for robust discussion about the issues of the day, and an unbridled love of sport.

Like many parents in today’s world, my experience of fatherhood has been very closely bound up with a demanding work life.  Life has brought many fascinating travels and experiences, but of all the roles one can fill in life, I remain certain that nothing can come close in terms of satisfaction and reward than being with one’s children as they grow to adulthood.

I thank Mal White for the gift he is offering with this incredibly thoughtful yet practical work. Mal has tapped into a deep well of reflection and wisdom.  I know that many will find this book a valuable help in enhancing their journey towards becoming ‘great dads’.

Fatherhood moments

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

G’day fellas, what is your most recent Fatherhood moment?

I reflect on the years of raising a family and my mind recaptures a number of precious moments of being a dad. There are some Fatherhood moments added (not mine) that may be your experience.

The birth….Oh my goodness, what have I done to my poor wife?

The thrill of that first time junior was in your arms.

Helping your children to say “Dadda” before she says “Mumma”

The appreciation your kids have when you break out the lollies on Friday night, movie night.

The way your kids giggle with delight when you break wind or do a big man-sized burp.

The cuddles.

The “I wuv you to dad.”

Their first day of school when you dust off the camera to grab that all too familiar shot of Jacey, or Tiffy, dressed in uniform with their oversized, floppy hat, standing at the top of the stairs with school bag in hand. We’ve all done it.

Driving them to their first disco or party….”I can’t believe they’re doing that already!”

Telling you how they landed their first part-time job.

Taking them for driving lessons.

Arguing with them about safety and sensibility.

The money talks.

The sex talk. “Now that was awkward!”

Leaving home. Them, or perhaps you.

Walking them down the aisle.

Giving them away at the altar.

“AHH!” So many father moments come and go in our lives as dads. Take a moment to remember some of your cherished fatherhood moments.

Treasure each and every moment with your children. Each Fatherhood moment you have as a dad is a gift just for you.

GDGDs to launch app and e-book

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

I can hardly contain my excitement, so I have to let you know about the latest developments for Good dads GREAT DADS.

The book I have written is being published as a smart phone app and e-book. It will include some video presentations from me and some great images of dads with their kids and the producer promises a very appealing look and feel. how good is that!!!!!!

Work begins this week and hopefully it will be live and available by April.

I am exploring ways to make the content of my seminars available to a broader audience as a ready-made package (“workshop in a box”) because the potential to encourage thousands of dads is there, we just need to put the tools in the right hands.

There is an opportunity for some sponsorship for the right organisation or business, if you know anyone that may be interested have them contact me directly.

Watch this space friends and keep on being focused on one of your highest priorities, BEING a GREAT DAD!

Spreading their wings

My youngest son is away from home on a holiday by himself on the Gold Coast, Queensland. He is staying at a backpackers resort mixing with the international tourists. It is his first taste of independent travel and like so many young people these days, travel is on the radar.

We spoke last night on the phone and he told us that he misses home and that he loves us.

For a dad, this simple but rich experience is so valuable. Firstly to see your child spreading their wings, broadening their horizons and growing in their life experience.

And secondly to see them growing into the realisation that what they have at home is of great value.

Hanging on through the teenage years can be very painful for parents as we have experienced first hand. To see some light at the end of the tunnel, a glimpse that all will be well in their life and in your relationship with them, brings a deep inner joy and sense of hope for their future.

Letting go may not be easy, but seeing our children spread their wings toward maturity and adult independence is a rewarding part of the fatherhood journey.