Steve Biddulph's Blog, page 6

My family holiday in NZ

Encouraging good dads to be great dads!

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I just took my wife and adult sons for a family holiday to Queenstown, New Zealand. Due to my prolonged battle with leukaemia and not having much income for so many years, family holidays went by the wayside. Now that they are 23, 21 and 20 the chances that they would want to go on a family holiday with Karen and I were a bit slim.

We chose a destination where there was lots on offer for them. Queenstown is the adventure capital of the world with 175 activities to do. We had a wonderful time eating, laughing and enjoying the outdoor adventure. There was ample time for them to have their own space doing their own thing.

We enjoyed whitewater rafting, trout fishing (and ate trout that night), went hiking, screaming down the river on the Shotover Jet, rode the gondoler to the top of a mountain and rode luges down the concrete tracks above. We went on a steamboat ride and wandered around the botanical gardens.

It was healthy for our family to spend a week together and our boys seemed to enjoy hanging out together, something they do not normally do. It cost a slab of coin to do such a trip but I see it as an investment in our relationship with each other. I figure, I can pay off a credit card debt but I can’t build closeness in family relationships if I don’t spend quality time with my kids.

A good friend suggested I share a little about our holiday and here are a few photos from our trip. I hope you get to do likewise with your kids no matter what their ages.

Encouraging dads and kids.

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

I received a warm thank you note from the recent Father daughter evening where  I was guest speaker. I would like to share it with you. “

Dear Mal

We have just had our father Daughter Banquet de-brief and would like to say thank you for the contribution you made to the success of this event.  We received a lot of positive feedback in relation to your presentation, in particular how it was informal and relaxed.  Also how you actively involved your audience and made fathers and daughters think about each other, in particular the positive attributes they bring into the relationship.  Your example of making harmony was particularly relevant along with your comment on, what we would like to be remembered by .

Although I was a little pre-occupied, the one thing I took from your presentation was that I should be spending quality time with the people I love.  Again, thanks and may God richly bless this important ministry you have.  Take care.

Good dads GREAT DADS provides wonderful opportunities to encourage dads and their kids to make sure they spend enough time with each other building their relationship. The rest of our life is a long time, making the most of the really important relationships is critical.

I find it very affirming to know that a few words shared with others can impact lives, families and how young people will turn out as adults because their dads being were more switched on to the value they bring to the overall development of their sons or daughters.

PS. I just got back from one week holiday in New Zealand with my family. So pleased that our 3 sons aged, 20, 21 and 23 actually wanted to go on a holiday with us. We had a blast in Queenstown! Highly recommended to you.

Just something about puddles

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

A friend shared this adorable YouTube clip on my Facebook page this week.

Watch it here and then read on; http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=380362112062602&set=vb.136336876521150&type=2&theater

Why can’t boys resist puddles? Boys are curious, adventurous and mischievous. That is what we should celebrate about boys.

How reliable is that dog? We can now see from this clip why a dog is a man’s best friend. From this short clip I am reminded of the value of the little things in life.

During the week I facilitated a Good dads GREAT DADS relationship building night at a local primary (elementary school) for 45 dads and their grade 5 sons or daughters. It was a blast. I am doing the repeat this coming week for grade sixes and their dads (or buddies if dad is not on the scene).

Next Saturday night I am the guest speaker at a special date night for daughters and dads at a Baptist church. They have a string quartet lined up, candle lit tables for two and flowers included. What a great concept. Glad I get to take part.

It’s a very hot day today in Melbourne as I write this so this great photo of a dad and his son enjoying a swim is very refreshing and relevant.

What quality activity have you planned with each of your children for the month of March and what is one special thing you could go and say to each of them now?

Great seminar for dads

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

If you are in Melbourne and are a dad (or mum) you need to hear this most passionate of men speaking about the importance of dad being present in their children’s lives.

Darren was voted Queensland Father of the Year and runs an amazing program for dads and kids called Fathering Adventures.

If you can be there you will not be disappointed.

For more details;

 

 

http://www.facebook.com/events/135274273312850/

Regards, Mal

Finding happiness

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

Do you want to find true happiness? I do. Is happiness so elusive? For some people it would seem so.

I think winning the lotto would be amazing and it would certainly give me a high. Having my 15 minutes of fame on Australia’s Got Talent would be awesome and I would enjoy the notoriety for a few weeks if I did any good in the competition. I get some results at work which is pleasing.

But what makes me truly happy. It is having experiences in life with people who mean something to me.

Think about your life. The things which probably bring you the most happiness are doing things with other people you love or at least like a lot. Camping, swimming, running, hiking, canoeing, dining out, dancing, fishing or sharing a train ride each day home from work. These are the keys to happiness.

Spending time with your children doing things together builds deep happiness in your life as a dad. It also builds a deep sense of belonging in your child’s mind and heart as he/she knows that dad loves to spend time with them.

Having experiences with your children and partner are the richest deposits of happiness you can make in your life. Build memories with your family by doing lots of things together.

My wife and I are taking our 3 adult sons for an adrenalin week in Queenstown, New Zealand. Whitewater rafting, canyon swinging, eating and fishing are some of the activities we have planned. Good times ahead.

Further happiness awaits. What’s on your list for the next month or two with your family?

 

Why kids are amazing

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS.

                       

A colleague at work shared one of those classic lines that his 2-year-old came out with. His Mother had just made caramelised popcorn as a treat for him…he looked at them puzzled and then announced “I’m not eating them , they’re not in the shape of elephants!”

With that another guy chipped in with his story. Whilst on the train over the weekend, the family were looking at some graffiti scrawled on the floor of the carriage. His  bright four-year old commented “Dad, its good that they can spell their name right but they should really practice on paper shouldn’t they?”

Our children bring us so much laughter and joy. Spending lots of quality time with our kids is proven to be good therapy. Men make better leaders and workers when they benefit from wholesome interaction with their family. Children say and do hilarious things. Often their perspective helps us to see the world in a different light.

They challenge us to get our priorities in life in order, we learn to become more sympathetic human beings when we have learned to put our young before ourselves and our own pursuits.

Our children are a gift to us and if we have been privileged with the blessing of fatherhood. Are you getting enough time laughing and playing your children? Time invested in your relationship now will pay significant relational dividends in the years ahead.

Dad and daughter dates

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

Dads play a very significant role in their daughter’s lives.

I was sent this excellent blog about why dads and daughters should go on regular dates together.

If you have a daughter or are lucky enough to have several, I strongly recommend you read this post and if it inspires you to take action, make a comment so others can also be encouraged.

http://www.babysitting.net/blog/10-reasons-why-dads-should-have-date-night-with-their-daughters/

 

New years dad

Encouraging good dads to be GREAT DADS!

Happy New Year Dads, I hope you had some quality time with your kids during the break and have created some positive memories.

I have had a break from blogging over the summer. I was encouraged this week with the stats that have been sent to me by WordPress. Over 5000 views of the Good Dads GREAT DADS site in 2012. Readers of my posts spanned 83 countries. Most were from Australia followed closely by USA and UK.

Photo of my eldest son enjoying the great outdoors on the rugged coast of Victoria.

My book, Good Dads GREAT DADS, has not sold so well on iTunes (possibly because it is only available for iPad..and no marketing push by me). I am considering making it available for free. Any thoughts?

There have been a few bookings for speaking engagements come in already so it is with some confidence that I enter 2013 believing I still have something to offer by way of encouragement to other dads.

My friend took his daughter mining for gold over the weekend and posted a lovely photo on Facebook. I find that inspiring.

Another dad brought his pain to me in a conversation and explained where he felt he was failing as a dad. We had a good talk and he went away armed with some new strategies for 2013.

Our neighbours had a cubby house put in their backyard for there 3 children. To hear their dad (and mum) playing games in and around the cubby and decking it out with mini household gadgets is fantastic.

Fatherhood is all around us and the effects of positive or negative fathering can be felt every day in the heartbeat of our society.

What might you do differently in 2013 the take your fathering from good to GREAT?

Your princess

Encouraging good dads to be great dads.

Hey fellow dads, I spoke with 25 men at a men’s breakfast on Saturday and a number of them have since been added to receive this blog. Welcome guys.

One of the things I shared with the men is that the number one message daughters need to hear from their dads are that they are your princess. They need to know that they are a star in your eyes and that they are beautiful in every possible way.

When a daughter knows that she is her daddy’s princess she is far less likely to go looking for male affirmation in the wrong way as she grows older. She will have greater self-esteem and a higher sense of self-worth and belonging.

Dads have such a powerful influence in the shaping of their daughter’s personal image and identity. A big responsiblity indeed. But also an amazing and absolute privilege.

Please share your ideas and experiences so other dads know how to communicate and demonstrate their love to their daughters.

She matters, and your influence is a most sought after prize.

Let her know she is your princess today.

 

When your children surpass you

Encouraging good dads to be great dads!

Yesterday my middle son did some welding for me. I have been a bit of a handyman over the years and always undertook projects, repair and renovations myself. My sons have not been that interested in being involved in these projects for the most part of their teenage years. So you can imagine how pleased   to see my son doing tradesman type jobs for me.

My son is nearly a third year plumbing apprentice and to stand back and watch him do such skilled work as welding with such precision made my heart proud. I had the fresh realisation that my son has surpassed me as a handy man. I told him I was thrilled to have a tradesman as a son. (I think all of us dads would like to have a plumber, electrician, mechanic and dentist in the family wouldn’t we?)

I also realised that my son had surpassed me in some areas as have my other two sons.

For the teacher to be surpassed by their student, for a protegé to be surpassed by their mentor and for a tradesman to be surpassed by their apprentice is the goal.

To step back and see your son or daughter excel to such a degree that they have surpassed you is a true reward for years of personal investment in their lives.

How have your children surpassed you? Do you celebrate their excellence? Have you told them how proud you are of them lately? It’s good to be able to be specific about why we are proud of them isn’t it.

Feel free to add a comment to this blog so others can benefit from your thoughts and experiences as well.

PS. I am considering publishing a paperback version of my book “Good dads GREAT DADS” based on the success of the online version for iPads. I need to get some numbers together before I go to print.

Please email me at gooddadsgreatdads@gmail.com to let me know that you would be keen to buy an autographed copy or perhaps a few as gifts. If I have an indication of selling a few books early I will go ahead with confidence.  Please send this email to me now as I need numbers within the next 5 days.