M. Leighton's Blog, page 2
May 30, 2017
At the Corner of Hope and Worry
Gushing is about to happen, so brace yourself:)
So, once again I find myself waiting in between books. My life is so different now, it seems. There was a time not so long ago that I would start a book directly after finishing one, so deep and wide was my reservoir of stories. Not so any more. Well, the reservoir is still deep and wide, but I don’t write just anything like I used to. Now, someone higher than me has a say, so I find myself waiting. But that’s not the point of this post.
Because I’m waiting, I thought I’d clean out my office closet. It’s been in desperate need for a while, and I’m not the idle type. I like to stay busy or I get bored and sleepy. And a bored and sleepy Michelle ends up being a grouchy Michelle, and no one likes that, so… I cleaned. It’s that or this.
Not. Pretty. :)
Anyway, I digress. So, I found a Books-A-Million bag in the bottom of one corner of my closet and I sat down on the couch to go through it. I don’t know why this weird conglomeration of things was inside it, but there were some real estate magnets, my college school ID, a beautiful card from my hubby, and a few other random things. Don’t ask me what the heck I was thinking. It’s anyone’s guess. But again, not the point. None of those stopped me in my tracks. Something DID, though. It stopped me in my tracks and nearly brought me to my knees in gratitude. Curious what it was? Let me show you and then I’ll explain it.
Looks kinda random and nonsensical, right?
Not. So.
Before I tell you the significance, let me get my glasses and give you a little history on M. Leighton, Author.
(I don’t really wear glasses, but I thought of Ben Stein, so here…)
*Bueller. Bueller*
Sorry. Squirrel:)
Okay, so when I began writing, my husband and I had agreed to give me 6 months to make a go of it. We hadn’t planned for a career change (where the income would be completely unpredictable from month to month, if there was any income at all), so we hadn’t saved much money. During that initial period, we rolled quarters to pay for gas and we sold some of my broken gold jewelry to buy groceries. Yeah, it had its tough moments. Worth it, but tough. During this tough time, however, my amazing husband didn’t complain one time. Not. Once. He didn’t even express a single worry. He just had faith. I might’ve been a little…rockier:) hehe
I guess one might say that I was at the corner of hope and worry.
Something I’ve done for years to address my concerns, however, was to write out scripture that pertained to what I was worried about and include some that would encourage me. I made this list (front and back) and would pour over these each day, sometimes more than once, reminding myself why I was making the change and remembering who I was trusting to make it happen. That’s what you see to the left of the captioned picture. What you see to the right is a thick stack of notes containing the names of all sorts of agents I queried in those early days. What I want to tell you about today, however, is what both of those rest upon. The New York Times for October 14, 2012.
You see, the first time I was blessed enough to have a book hit the NYT, it was on September 9, 2012 with The Wild Ones. It hit what they call the overflow list, and those don’t appear in the newspaper/printed edition of the list. My brother-in-law actually scoffed at the legitimacy of having hit the Times simply because my book wasn’t listed in the actual newspaper. He’s a turd, right? :D Well, fast forward a little over a month, and I had another release y’all may have heard of. It was called Down to You and I was informed that it hit the list at #8 for the week of October 14, 2012. At the time I didn’t realize the list was compiled a week before it showed up in the paper. Long story short, I bought this paper expecting to see it, but it was sadly devoid of any M. Leighton titles.
(I love Will Ferrell)
Anyway, I don’t know why I even saved this paper, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence (don’t believe in coincidences myself). I believe I saved it so I could see it now. Why? Because it means more to me NOW than it ever could have at the time. It was a newspaper. One that I thought contained my listing, but didn’t. Most people would’ve thrown it away. But I didn’t. Because there was a purpose for it almost five years later.
That one story headline–AT THE CORNER OF HOPE AND WORRY. That’s why I’m seeing it now.
That was how my journey began–in that gray place between hope and worry. I was full of hope that I might one day be able to write books for a living. My dreams were modest. I only asked that I make enough money to replace my nursing income. That was it. I just wanted to do a job I loved and be able to contribute to our welfare with the proceeds. I battled a bit of worry, though. I worried that it wouldn’t happen, I worried about our finances, about what it might be doing to my husband, etc. But it turned out that my hope was greater than my worry because I quit my job and pursued it wholeheartedly. And you know what? God took that one step of faith and He BLEW. IT. UP. In a million years, I never dreamed I’d be a NYT bestselling author several times over. I never dreamed I’d be traveling to book signings where real people would actually want to meet ME. Lil old nerdy, backward, chatty me.
But God knew.
It’s funny seeing this now of all times, because in a way I feel like I’m right back where I started–AT THE CORNER OF HOPE AND WORRY. I still worry about things, even though God has shown up in mighty ways before, but I also still hope. Boy, do I hope. And my hope IS stronger than my worry.
I guess I just want to say this: If you’re at the corner of hope and worry, CHOOSE HOPE.
We all worry. We are human. We’d have to be numb not to ever worry about anything. No matter how great things are, we still tend to worry because I think a future we can’t see makes us all a little teeny tiny bit nervous. But we also hope. And I hope that the HOPE far outweighs the worry. I hope we all look that fear in the face, smile, and then turn on our heel. Turn away from the fear and toward the hope. I believe that’s where a lot of our greatest triumphs begin–at the corner of hope and worry. Turn toward the hope. That’s what I try to do every single day, and God has never let me down:)
May 25, 2017
Broken Things
Y’all, I’m broken.
Every day, I see just how broken.
But it’s okay.
It’s okay to be broken.
God uses broken things.
And He’s showing me the beauty of it.
So much beauty.
I saw this picture and I had to share it. It speaks to my heart, to my soul. Sometimes we never know what we’re made of, what wonderful things are inside of us until we are broken in a few places. Only then can that incredible light shine through.
I’m here to tell you it’s okay to be broken. We’re all broken in some way. Embrace your brokenness. Learn from it. Grow from it. Let it become the place where your own unique beauty shines through. Broken people cry with you, laugh with you, give the best hugs, and, eventually, give the best advice. You’ll be stronger for your broken places. And you’ll be a better source of brightness for the rest of the world.
May 7, 2017
My Own Worst Enemy
Wanna know who it is?
Me.
I’m sure you guessed that right away. LOL But it’s true. 9 times out of 10, I am my own worst enemy.
Over the past months, coming up on two years actually, I’ve struggled with pretty much every existential issue known to man. People grieve in different ways, and since I don’t do anything else like a normal person, why should I grieve like a normal person? LOL
Well, I didn’t.
I can 100% say that my grief opened my eyes to a million different things that I needed to see and might not have otherwise. It’s hard to say that the death of a loved one can benefit the living, but I daresay that it’s almost always true. IF we let it. In a way, I think it’s a great way to honor those who are gone–to learn and grow and become better people BECAUSE of their life and the loss of it. I think, in fact, that there may be no greater compliment. If I could get a glimpse of the lives of my friends and family after I’m gone, and I heard them say that my death brought about amazing changes in their lives, I would consider my life (and my death) a raving success. Life, death, grief, growth…they’re all strange and mystical things.
It’s funny how you can be in a tailspin and not really know how much of your life is in disarray until it starts to fall back into proper alignment. I didn’t realize how far I’d drifted out to sea until I stopped looking at the people and things around me and looked back to shore. I hardly recognized where I was at that point, and had almost no idea how I’d gotten there.
But I know now.
I know how I got there–here. I let things and people and mistaken priorities pull me, slowly and gently, away from where I belong, where I’m most effective, where I’m most content. I dipped a toe into dangerous waters and, before I knew it, the undertow had dragged me out to sea. I’d let the current influence me, but, the thing is, that’s not who I am. I was meant to swim against the current, not to go along with what everyone else is doing. I’m unique, as are you, and we each have something individual and valuable to offer, but we can’t find out what that is doing what everyone else is doing, going where everyone else is going. Just because it’s the easy path doesn’t mean it’s the right one.
Before I knew it, I was miles and miles away from my best me. I never would’ve thought I could drift so far. I suppose I thought I was so deeply rooted that nothing could drag me from firm ground, but boy was I wrong! Before I even knew what the heck was happening, my feet were nowhere near solid ground. I was so busy going along that I didn’t recognize I’d gotten a little lost, that I was simply treading water, trying every day to stay afloat and keep my head above water. Lemme tell ya, that’s both exhausting and ineffective in terms of getting anywhere in life. LOL Thankfully, God brought all these realizations to my attention, and not a moment too soon. When I looked out and saw where I was, I did a little evaluation and assessed my options. Basically, there were two: I could stay where I was and eventually sink; or I could start swimming back to shore.
So I started swimming.
And I swam.
And I swam.
And I swam.
And I’m still swimming.
(I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it, too)
I’m finally headed back to where I should be. I’m tired. I won’t lie. LOL But I’m also determined. And satisfied. And content. I’m happy in that deep and meaningful way that I felt when God was at the helm of my life. I hate that I took the detour. I hate to fall or to fail, or any variation of either one, but it was worth it. Even though it wasn’t ideal, I’ll be better for it. I’ve learned innumerable lessons during this trip, more valuable than I know even at this point. I’d say I’ll be learning from this experience for many, many years to come. But that’s okay. If we aren’t learning and growing, we are stagnating and that’s not what I want to do with my life. I want to grow. Flourish. Blossom. I want to try every day to be a better person, a more supportive sister, a more loyal friend, a bigger believer, and the hard lessons are usually the ones that accomplish the most. I can say now that I very much look forward to what comes next. I know I’m in the right place and it will happen at the right time and for the right reasons. There is much peace to be had in that simple knowledge. I forgot how much I missed it.
If, like me, you’re just making your way back to shore, welcome home! And if you’re still adrift, feeling all alone in the dark, turbulent sea, start swimming back in the right direction. It’s easy to get lost sometimes, but shore has a pull, a gravity all its own. It’s like no other. You’ll feel it deep down if you pay close enough attention. Let it guide you, let it bring you back. Because, as Dorothy said, there’s no place like home:)
April 7, 2017
Things I’ve Learned- Pt 1
If I can remember (which I probably won’t because I’m so scatterbrained it’s pathetic), I’ll similarly caption future posts that pertain to things I’ve learned, and just add a part number (1,2,3). Seems like I learn something every day, but I’ll try to keep these posts to things that might help someone else instead of the minutia of my life. LOL
This might sound strange, but during the last weeks while I’ve been unable to write, I found that I was much better about reaching out to people. Don’t get me wrong. I’m concerned about my friends and loved ones on ALL days. I want to know how they are and how their hurts/problems/worries/lives are working out, but I always feel so busybusybusy that I haven’t really reached out NEARLY as often as I should’ve. But now I can see that should be my number one priority through the day–other people. Helping them, lifting their spirits, praying for them, showing even smallest kindness to someone. It matters, and it makes a difference not just to THEM, but to US as well.
Something else I’ve learned recently is that the more my thoughts turn toward my own worries, the bigger those worries feel. They grow and grow to the point that I feel consumed by them. But by focusing as much as I can on others during those moments when I might otherwise be tempted to fret, it sort of keeps things in perspective for me. What I’ve learned is that, in my humble opinion, it’s healthy to focus more on others than it is to focus solely on ourselves. That’s not to say we shouldn’t think about or take care of ourselves. I’m not saying don’t exercise, don’t shower, don’t tend to your own needs and responsibilities, never worry. That’s not at all what I mean. I’m focusing on myself in a big way now by making myself exercise every morning. During that time, I’m completely focused on bettering my body and my spirit. And when I work, I’m completely focused on my book. But there are a lot of minutes in the day when I don’t have to be so involved in my own problems, when I could reach out to a friend or family member, or even someone I barely know on FB who is suffering some kind of setback. Or heck, even reaching out to tell someone whose life is in better shape than mine that I’m thinking of them, wishing them even more blessings, and that I’m glad to have them in my world. Basically, I’ve learned that life is way better when we DO for others or DO with someone else in mind. Personally, I think that’s the key to TRUE happiness.
If you think I’m nuts, try it out. Just in some small. Let’s say for a week to start. For instance, if you’re married, try focusing a little more on your spouse than on yourself when you’re tempted to worry about something going on with you. Send him a random “I love you more than air” text or sneak over to his side of the couch for some cuddling. Do something you know he loves just to make him smile. I should warn you, though, this kind of thing can be addictive. That or I’m just plain nuts, which is HIGHLY LIKELY. LOL But seriously, I’ve found that bringing some kind of joy or relief to others is like crack. I’m not even kidding! A lot of them time, I feel like I’m walking on clouds after. That’s not to say that it’s a magic pill or that it ALWAYS feels that way. Some moods/days/emotions just can’t be salvaged that easily. LOL I am woman. Hear my ovaries cry. You know how that goes. But most of the time, it’s a good feeling that goes so deep, other stuff can’t touch it. It’s really weird, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve heard others say similar things, and I know exactly what they mean. And, truthfully, I think this is the way it SHOULD be. I think we were made this way. We’re made to feel great when we help someone else. It’s like its own kind of reward.
Anyway, I’m fairly positive I’m doing a terrible job of explaining this. To be a person who works with words for a living, sometimes blog posts just undo me. I’m not exactly sure this is the reason, but for the most part, I find it difficult to talk about myself. Almost as difficult as I find it to take pics of myself. Maybe this is why I don’t like social media. I already fail at the basic tenets of it.
ANYWHO, in unrelated news, I’m writing again.
Y’ALL, I’M WRITING AGAIN!
Truthfully, I can’t even describe what this means to me, what it feels like. I’ve never been one of those people who says I HAVE TO write. Like the stories or the characters HAVE TO come out. That’s not me. I’ve never felt that way. But boy! I can say that now! After these last weeks, I can genuinely say that I NEED to write. It’s just who I am. It’s part of my life and my days and my BEING. It’s part of my purpose. And when I’m not doing it, I feel lost. Adrift. Like no matter what I do, something just isn’t quite right. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before and it’s a little scary. I can’t help thinking OMG WHAT WILL I DO IF I CAN NO LONGER WRITE? Dude, lemme tell ya, that kind of thinking will get me nowhere fast. LOL I can’t even go there. I’ll just say that it was a pretty miserable few weeks and I hope not to repeat it any time soon.
It was during that time, though, that I had to find good ways to cope with all this THOUGHT SPACE that I couldn’t fill with my stories. That’s when I decided I’d focus on getting in better habits (i.e., working exercise into my routine) and on keeping up better with the people I love. Showing love, saying love, living love. The funny thing is, I didn’t realize how much I missed those things in my life, how much RICHER life is when those things are a daily priority. Now I just have to keep that up. Already I can feel myself wanting to slip back into old routines, but I’m determined to maintain my healthier ways. It’s important to be balanced. I see that now more than ever. Life can’t be all about work or problems or really any ONE single thing. It’s a delicate dance between all sorts of things that are all important. They all need attention, but each one will vie for a higher position in our list of priorities. Every day, we just have to make sure we keep the things that SHOULD BE at the top, at the top, ya know?
Anyway, again, I’m sure I’ve done a terrible job of explaining this, but someone out there will get it. Someone out there might need it, so here it is. My own two cents. My own little experience on the road of life. I hope to have you an actual novel to read instead of my blog posts here before long.
On that note…
OMG I AM SO EXCITED! THIS BOOK IS EVERYTHING!!!! This is one of the top 2 favorite things I’ve ever written, and I can’t wait to finish it! Eeeeeeeeep
Until next time… happy reading!
March 22, 2017
Your purpose in life is to…find your purpose?
Recently, I stumbled upon this saying, something supposedly said by Buddha. There are 3 notable things about this saying as it pertains to this post. 1. I’m not Buddhist LOL 2. The saying is not from Buddha (you mean everything on the internet isn’t true?????) 3. It started me thinking about what kind of inspiration, if any, people are drawing from this “quote” that’s causing them to share it so much. Of course, I have no way of knowing what it inspired in others, but I’m here today to talk about where the fake saying took ME.
I DO think every person is born with a purpose. I’m Christian, so I believe it’s a God-given purpose, and I think we are most definitely supposed to not only discover that purpose, but fulfill it. Hopefully it won’t take our whole life, though. LOL Hopefully, we will find it early enough that we can spend many years working out our calling, living out our purpose. I think fulfilling one’s purpose brings a kind of contentment that few other things in life can provide. It’s a sort of sweet spot, and if you’ve been there before, you know how badly you want to get back to it and basically LIVE there:)
During the last couple of years, I’ve spent a lot–like A LOTTTTTT– of time wondering about my purpose, wondering if it’s one specific thing or if it can be more than one, and wondering if it changes as we grow and age and mature. To this day, I don’t have answers to any of those ponderings, but I THINK I know of at least two purposes for my life. One is to feed the hungry. That’s a burden I’ve felt for quite some time, and I’m already on that road, hoping to do more and more as time goes on. But it’s the second calling that’s a little harder to work out. It’s something I’ve been wrestling with since my father died in December of 2015.
My dad was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. He was brilliant, funny, kind, strong, dedicated, and he left a profound mark on those who knew him. At his funeral, many stood up and told of the ways he’d touched their lives, things even we (his family) didn’t know about. He never told us. He just went about his life doing good. What a role model!
Well, when he passed away, I began to struggle with my writing. I wanted to write things that matter to…someone, things that would leave a good mark on others. A few months after he went to be with Jesus, I wrote The Empty Jar, my favorite and most meaningful book to date, and the one I’m most proud of. Why is it my favorite? Why am I most proud of it? Because it mattered to me and it mattered to others. It wasn’t a big seller for me, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to share something of ME that touched someone else. And if it touched only one single reader…well, then it would be worth it, more worth it than that all the dollars in the world. I was SO FULFILLED after writing and releasing that book!
Fast forward to now. It’s almost a year later (I published TEJ on May 6, 2016) and I’ve written several books (only two of which I’ve published, one of those being a novella), yet I haven’t felt fulfilled since I finished The Empty Jar. It’s like my soul longs to tell a different kind of story, stories that are far deeper than romance, stories that are about REAL love and REAL sacrifice and the REAL strength of the human spirit. I’ve tried to settle back into my old routine, but I just can’t do it. It’s like my chair holds the imprint of a person I no longer am, like I don’t fit in it quite the same way anymore. I’m meant for something else. I just don’t know exactly what yet. And, yes! In case you’re wondering, it’s so frustrating!
So what’s my point with this rambling post?
I don’t know. LOL
I just wanted to tell y’all, my amazing and wonderful and loyal readers, what I’m struggling with so you’d know why I’m not shouting about a new release or revealing a yummy cover. I’m not dead or becoming a vampire or flying to the moon. I’m just…waiting. I know many of y’all are, too. Waiting ON ME! And I’m so sorry I don’t have something for you–a book, a date, anything at all that’s concrete. Why? Because, honestly, I don’t know what’s down the road for me, what my next story will be or when it will come. I don’t know much right now. I only know that I’m supposed to wait. I’ve been praying so, so hard about it and I keep getting that same answer/non-answer–WAIT. I don’t know what I’m waiting for–a story line, a new direction, a bolt of lightning. I only know that He’s telling me to wait, so I’m waiting. I’m trying to do it with grace and patience, but lemme tell ya, as the world’s most impatient person, this is particularly hard for me. hehe But I’m doing it!
I.
AM.
DOING IT!
(Let’s take a moment here to enjoy the gorgeousness of that ^^^^^^) *swoon*
I truly believe that one day soon, I’ll be back on here to tell you about an amazing new story I’m working on, and I truly believe it will be part of my purpose, and that I will feel fulfilled again. I have faith that I will write what springs from my heart, and that it will reach out and touch someone else’s. I believe THAT is my purpose–to write things that move and inspire and heal. It makes me so happy to even THINK of it! But I’m not there yet, so until that moment comes, I’ll be over here, rocking in the corner.
Just kidding:) hehe I’ll be smiling and laughing and living each day with gratitude and hope, because THAT is how we wait!
For those who want to know what happens next, I’ll post an update when I have one. Fingers crossed it won’t be long!
And for those who don’t…
hehehe Kidding:)
Have an amazing day, and if you have a story to share about finding YOUR purpose, slap that baby on here! I’d love to hear about it, and, chances are, someone else will, too:)
All my love,
M
p.s. If you haven’t read The Empty Jar, but wanna, here are the links to it:
Amazon: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarAMZ
B&N: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarBN
iBooks: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarIB
December 30, 2016
Attention Like the Sun
A new year is fast approaching. Lives will be reflected upon, mistakes and shortcomings will be realized, resolutions will be made. I’m not immune to that. I’ll be doing it, too. I do it every year. In fact, I do it multiple times a year. LOL Yeah, I think too much.
Anyway, I started thinking about the things I’d like to do differently next year, both internally and externally. I won’t bore you with my career goals or my health and fitness goals (those are probably just like a bajillion other peoples’, LOL). I just want to tell you about one of my personal “Michelle” goals. One of my top priorities for 2017 is to do something GOOD, at least one thing for one person, every single day. It could be anything–helping someone at the store, listening to a stranger chat about his woes, gifting a book, sending a card to someone who needs a lift, praying for someone I don’t know–but I want to help someone in some way every single day of forever. That’s the kind of life I want to live. It’s the kind of person I want to be. That train of thought got me thinking (there is that pesky thinking thing again) about how I want to make people FEEL.
When I look back over the last year, I remember tons of good. I’m blessed that I CAN remember good. But, unfortunately, there is also quite a bit of not-so-good. I remember seeing so much ugliness out in the world, especially on social media (and we all know how I feel about social media to begin with). That started me thinking about what it feels like to have someone’s attention turned toward you. It can be good or bad. I don’t believe it can be neutral. People will either feel better for having interacted with you, or they’ll feel worse. We all bring SOMETHING to everyone we meet, every day. Good or bad. It has to be one or the other, definitively. This year, I’ve seen many instances where I’d be willing to bet that certain kinds of attention probably felt like having hell fire raining down on someone’s head. I don’t like drama, so I usually have no idea what’s going on, but I see the fallout. I see the hell fire. That brought to mind how I want people to feel when MY attention is turned toward them.
GOOD.
HAPPY.
BETTER.
That’s how I want people to feel when they interact with me.
I want to be the type of person whose attention feels like sunshine–warm and happy and positive. When I chat with someone online or reach out to someone via text or email or a quick phone call, I want them to feel GOOD about hearing from me. I want to leave their life a better place, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Life brings enough turmoil and disappointment and hardship without me adding to it. I want to be a bright spot.
This is sort of like my mission statement. I hope the life I’ve lived thus far hasn’t been TOO far from this, but either way, this is my goal now. I hope to see you out there in 2017, and I hope that you’ll be able to truthfully say to yourself that I’m doing what I set out to do, and that you are left with a smile or some happy, positive thought after running into me:)
I hope y’all had a wonderful Christmas and that 2017 will be your best year yet!
December 4, 2016
Dashing Through the Snow is LIVE
Need some fun to brighten up the holidays? Need some heat to warm up the cold nights? Well,this is just the thing. DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW, a sexy, snowy Christmas story is LIVE!
A dash of perfect for the holidays!
Dilyn Hart hates Christmas, so when her boss (and ex-boyfriend) hands her an assignment to interview champion snowboarder and gorgeous playboy extraordinaire, Dash Grainger, on Christmas Eve, she takes it. There are several things she doesn’t plan for—a surly driver, a chalet in the middle of nowhere, a freak snowstorm—but the biggest surprise of all is Dash himself.
Dash Grainger lives for the high, and so far in his twenty-six years, he’s never met anyone or anything he loves more. Nothing has ever thrilled him as much as slick snow, cold air, and breakneck speed.
Until he meets Dilyn.
But one perfect night doesn’t mean clear, blue skies the next day. Some storms can’t be weathered.
Christmas might just be one of them.
GET YOUR DASH OF CHRISTMAS CHEER TODAY!
AMAZON– http://smarturl.it/DashAMZ
BN– http://smarturl.it/DashNook
IBOOKS– http://smarturl.it/DashiBooks
KOBO– http://smarturl.it/DashKobo
CONNECT WITH ME
FB: http://smarturl.it/MLeightonFBPage
FB Group: http://smarturl.it/MLeightonFBGroup
November 9, 2016
A political post that I hope will HELP
I want to start this with the question below. It’s something that occurred to me while I was in the shower (it’s amazing how many great ideas and stuff I have while I wash my hair- hehe). Like 99.9% of people, I’ve been very disheartened by what I’m seeing on social media. I totally respect other people’s opinions, even when they differ from my own. What I often don’t respect is the WAY they express those opinions, when they’re voiced with hate and bullying and degradation. Dude, whatever side of the fence you’re on, that’s not cool. Anyway, here’s the question:
If you were to get in a car accident, fall and break a leg, run out of money for food, have an emergency of any kind, and a total stranger showed up at your side/at your door and offered you help, would you ask that person whether they’re a republican or a democrat? Would it matter to you right then how they voted?
Likely not. Why? Because there are good and kind and wonderful people everywhere, and one just showed up to help you. They’re all around, good people. They’re black, white, gay, straight, Christian, agnostic. You don’t have to agree with them to make them good. That’s just who they are, but somehow we forget that during election time (especially this go round). Not all democrats are bad. Not all republicans are bad. There are some who are, yes. Unfortunately, the world has a few nasty people here and there, devils even. They’re in your groups and coffeehouses, in your hospitals and workplaces, in your schools and churches. But those places are also filled with a lot of spectacular people, some liberal, some conservative.
We should all bleed red, white and blue, not only red or only blue. There are good points to both sides, and many voted the way they did (either R or D) for one or two very specific reasons, not because many (or any) of us agree with every single idea (or personal characteristic or choice) of the candidate. The thing is, a new president was just elected, but it doesn’t end here. It’s the nature of the human condition to mess up, to never be completely satisfied. That’s why we seesaw back and forth between a democratic leader and a republican one. I daresay that the vast majority of voters voted the way they did because they wanted change of one sort or another. That will be the case again in 2020. It will always be the case. That’s why we can NEVER let a president or any one person define us as individuals. Being a decent nation starts at home. Being a decent person starts at home. It starts with an act of kindness to the child in your kid’s class who doesn’t have lunch money or the old woman down the street who can’t get her wheelchair up onto the sidewalk, or the friend who needs a loan or a prayer or a helping hand. Being a decent nation is an EVERY DAY effort that doesn’t change no matter who is in office. WE make up a great nation. WE, the people. Our lives will go on, regardless of the leadership. I can personally attest to that. I’ve been alive for several democratic presidents and several republican ones, and I can tell you that my life has gone on after every single election night. We can’t get bogged down in the hate. We have to reach for the ideal, strive for the better place that we all want to see and live in and be buried in.
I say this because I, too, have struggled with this election, reading the hate-filled posts of people that I like and respect, and fighting to hold onto that respect after I read them. If we were all as empathetic as we truly should be, there would be no need for laws or government. We would all so respect and care for one another that there would be no need to provide for the poor. We would all pitch in and do it. There would be no need for punishment of theft or murder or hate crimes. None of us would dare hurt another person in that way. But y’all, we aren’t there yet. I doubt we will ever be. A place like that doesn’t exist. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do our dead level best every single day to be that kind, generous, thoughtful person to those around us. Change starts at home, one person, one ACT at a time. Maybe today is the day we can all reboot and start again. Start being kind to those on the other side of the fence instead of bashing or shaming them, start loving people FOR REAL rather than just screaming tolerance and then showing none.
I’m not going on social media for a while. I don’t want to see the damage we are doing to one another. I do not invite hateful responses to this post either. I’m just trying to help. This is just my way of setting MY OWN MIND straight and maybe maybe maybe helping someone else (who is tired of all this ickiness) to find a better way to look at it. We are all still in this race (the human race) together. Don’t tear down the very people who could be your lifeline tomorrow. If you must look away for a while, then do it. Find your happy place and abide there until the dust settles. Just don’t feed into the hate. That is never the answer.
This is all I have to say on this subject, for what it’s worth. I am very anxious to go forward in a positive way, and I think a lot of others are, too. Hopefully we can, starting today.
Love and peace and hope to you all!
M out.
November 2, 2016
Dashing through the Snow Cover Reveal
Halloween is over. Thanksgiving is on its way. The season’s are changing, and Christmas is right around the corner. What better way to celebrate the holidays than to curl up with a hot, sexy story about a hot, sexy snowboarder? Dashing through the Snow, my newest creation, is coming your way November 20, 2016, and I can’t wait for y’all to meet these two!
Dilyn Hart hates Christmas, so when her boss (and ex-boyfriend) hands her an assignment to interview champion snowboarder and gorgeous playboy extraordinaire, Dash Grainger, on Christmas Eve, she takes it. There are several things she doesn’t plan for—a surly driver, a chalet in the middle of nowhere, a freak snowstorm—but the biggest surprise of all is Dash himself.
Dash Grainger lives for the high, and so far in his twenty-six years, he’s never met anyone or anything he loves more. Nothing has ever thrilled him as much as slick snow, cold air, and breakneck speed.
Until he meets Dilyn.
But one perfect night doesn’t mean clear, blue skies the next day. There are some storms that can’t be weathered.
Christmas Day might just be one of them.
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September 28, 2016
Full and Hungry
Full and hungry. At first glance, you’d think it should be full OR hungry. It seems counterintuitive that one person could be both full AND hungry. And yet, I’m here to say that I think being both full AND hungry is quite possibly the best way to be.
I don’t know your personal thoughts and feelings on the Bible, nor am I writing this post to debate it or try to convince you of anything, but if you’ve read much of it, I think you’d probably agree that there is some really good wisdom in it. Things like “moderation” (always a good tack to take when it comes to avoiding overindulgence in anything), being kind to one another (our world would be a much better place if we could all manage to observe this on a daily basis), and the importance of love. I could seriously make a list a mile long of all the plain old SMART, COMMON SENSE tidbits in the Bible. Being both full and hungry is one of them.
This particular verse is in Philippians. It goes like this: “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” This nugget is snuggled up to some pretty famous verses, ones I’ve had memorized since I was a child. But a couple of weeks ago, those three words jumped out at me like I’d never seen them before, and since I don’t believe in coincidence or accidents, I took note.
The context of this verse is in regards to being content with what you have and where you are in life, something that’s difficult for the vast majority of people, myself included. Since becoming an author, I’ve become intimately acquainted with my own boundless ambition and crippling competitiveness. I’ve realized that, while neither is a bad thing in and of itself, both can be devastating when taken to extremes.
I started out in the wonderful world of writing just wanting people to READ my work. That was goal number one. Goal number two was to make enough money doing something I loved to replace the income I made as a nurse. So simple. So sweet. So RIGHT. And for many, many months, I woke up every day anxious to tell a story and make a living at something that also just happened to be my passion. It was pretty perfect for a while.
Then came some success. By some people’s standards, it was considerable success. By others, not so much. To me, it felt like I’d hit the “next stage” and I was flying high. But then, as most of you know, the bottom dropped out of the industry. Not only were big changes coming for the literary world, but big changes were coming in my personal life as well.
I wasn’t prepared for either.
Fast-forward a couple of years and there I was, dropped like a newborn into a world vastly different than the one I saw the last time I lifted my head to take notice. Competition got greater, sales got lesser, and people got meaner. And somewhere along the way, being satisfied with just writing something I loved and making ends meet financially had gone the way of the “good old days”– bye bye.
I had no idea what a struggle it would be to find balance again. Things were so much different, and there was a big part of me that wanted to be back in a place that felt like “flying high” to me all those months ago. Only that place was much harder to reach now and, try as I might, I just couldn’t seem to find it.
The more I fought to get back something that was forever gone, the more I began to wrestle with my writing. My personal demons were nipping at my heels, and the world I’d come to love had changed so, so much. I felt like a stranger. And a brand new author, starting from scratch in a community that was barely a ghost of the one I’d come to love.
When I wrote The Empty Jar, I was grieving something fierce. That book contains little bits and pieces of my soul, and I didn’t write it to an audience. I wrote it for me. I wrote it for my dad. I wrote it for others who had suffered or were suffering. It was the first thing I’d written in quite a while that was just something I loved. Just something that mattered to me. It wasn’t written with the first thought for what it might mean for my career. It was written because I had to write it.
But loving something doesn’t mean you’re immune to the disappointment of harsh criticism or slow sales. I wanted everyone to read and love TEJ, just as I loved it, and it was hard for me when sales weren’t what I’d hoped for. That book gave me something far more valuable than sales, though. It gave me back my love of writing.
Now I just had to find a way to be okay with the financial part again.
Enter Levi’s Blue.
This was another story that I loved from start to finish, and another one I had the highest hopes for. When I finished it, I spent the following weeks trying to relearn marketing, trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t. All I could really do was try a little of everything and hope it worked. For me, it didn’t perform like I’d hoped, but I’m noticing that, in this day and age, it has done really well by most people’s standards. The facts, the numbers caused me to look around at how hard the market is for 99.999% of authors right now, and how sales are down for everyone from the biggest fish to the tiniest minnow. And THAT caused me to be grateful that my books are selling at all.
And THAT is where the full and hungry part came in.
Over the course of the last couple of years, I’ve been hungry. Starving, in fact. Desperate to regain something that isn’t possible to regain without a time machine that will take us all back to the year 2012. But y’all, that hunger made me miserable. It affected my voice, my concentration, my mood. But most of all, and saddest of all, it affected my joy. Somehow, success by other people’s standards had become the stick against which I’d begun to measure MYSELF. My worth, my success, my satisfaction with a day’s work. I’d let that hunger steal something vital from me.
But through Levi’s Blue, God showed me that while things are different now and it’s okay to want to DO better, WRITE better, and BE better, I need to be happy and content with what I have RIGHT NOW. Missing the NOW in pursuit of what we think we want and need is a travesty. There is a balance to be had, and it’s so very, very important to find it. Now, striking that balance is incredibly difficult. I will be the first to admit it. But this scripture…these three words taken in the context in which they were intended…they made me see that striking that balance is IMPERATIVE. Otherwise, I’ll just walk around hungry all the time, never full and grateful for all the wonderful things I’ve seen and experienced and achieved. All the wonderful people and places and moments in my life.
Life doesn’t wait for anyone. It didn’t pause and wait for me to come to my senses. It simply moved on without me. Then I had to run to catch up. But at least I DID catch up. I DID find that balance again. Now I just have to keep it.
What I’ve learned? It’s okay to be hungry. To want more. To want to have more, be more, do more. That’s what compels us to find cures and climb new mountains and write masterpieces. But it’s so, so, so important to be full, too. To say at the end of the day, when things didn’t quite turn out like you’d hoped, that you’re happy and healthy and FULL, and that you hope to wake up in the morning and live to fight another day. And maybe THAT day will be THE day that brings satisfaction to your hunger. But either way, you’ll be full.
There will always be more to be had. Higher peaks to reach, more money to make, skinnier clothes to fit into. But there is only one today, and wasting it by being miserable because of what we have not yet achieved is just that–a waste. I’m done wasting days, y’all. I want to, need to, enjoy being full.
I hope somebody out there benefits from this as much as I have. It’s to you that I raise my cup, a cup which is currently running over, and toast the beauty of today and the excitement of tomorrow. May we both, may we ALL, be able to keep them in perspective.
