Farnoosh Torabi's Blog, page 19
March 31, 2014
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March 27, 2014
Self.com: How to Talk to Your Guy About Money (When You Make More)
Self.com recently asked me to address their female readers’ most gut-wrenching, complicated and awkward issues related to earning more than their partners.
Sharing an excerpt from that piece with you. If you’d like to read the entire piece, just head on over to Self.com.
When I Found a Job First. “In my early 20s, my boyfriend and I moved to a new city. I got a job right away (it took him a long time), so I was supporting both of us. He didn’t feel great about it. What was especially hard was that when we would go out, he would want to splurge on dinners and I had a hard time saying ‘no.’” —Cheryl, 31
FARNOOSH’S PLAN OF ACTION: No matter how much more money you make, it’s never inappropriate to tell your partner that you need to save money, yourself. As someone who makes less—or is struggling to find work—he should understand that. Let him know that with moving to a new city and wanting to build up savings for your future together, you’ve decided you need to save as much as possible, which means more dinners at home and fewer impulse buys. Also key—tell him you need his help to do this. Let him know that it’s tempting to splurge, but that you need his support and strength to avoid overspending. Men love to help!
When My Start-Up Took Off. “In my early 20s, I took the unconventional path and turned down a stable job on Wall Street to start my own business. In those early years I didn’t make a lot of money, so my boyfriend was out earning me while I built my business. When my business took off, I started to earn more and since my business income went off the charts, it didn’t even make sense for him to work at his job anymore. He was working punishing 70 hour weeks, and after taxes there wasn’t a whole lot left from his salary. So we made the decision together that he would quit his job, and come work with me in my business. Now it’s a whole new challenge, since not only am I ‘earning more,’ but I’m also the boss. We’ve had to find ways to communicate better about our work together, and also to keep our romantic relationship alive so that we don’t become coworkers and roommates instead of a romantically involved couple.” —Nathalie, 28
FARNOOSH’S PLAN OF ACTION: As with all couples that choose to work together, you must consciously create a divide between work and personal life. It’s easier said than done, but one key is to schedule dinner dates and personal time together in advance and outside of your home and work at least once or twice a week. Go for a stroll and coffee in a new neighborhood and once you’re together, have two rules: no phones and no work talk. Also important—let him plan the date. He may feel like your employee or “teammate” from 9 to 5, so it’s important than in your personal life he still feels like your hero.
March 23, 2014
Farnoosh’s Mail Bag: Answering Your Questions
Shari wonders: What should be the proper order of the following?
Pay off debt (excluding mortgage)
Invest in 401(k)
Fund a 529
Create a savings of $1,000
Create a savings of 3-5 months salary
Natalie emails: My biggest concern about my finances is having the money to put a downpayment on a house. I recently got married and I am a career changer, so I am back in school getting my masters degree. I have a lot of debt from student loans, and not a lot of savings. My husband has some, but not enough for a “big” downpayment. Is it smart to stay in an apartment for a while and try to save up? Or try and get a smaller “starter” house? I will be graduating May of 2015 and we are in our apartment at least until October. I’m just trying to figure out the best option.
Suko asks: What’s the best way to teach your children to have healthy attitudes toward money?
My Case Against Stay-at-Home Parenting
This post originally appeared on DailyWorth.com
With just three months left until we welcome our first child, my husband and I have naturally been discussing how to best manage our future family, in terms of child care. As the breadwinner in my marriage, I’ve pondered what life might be like with a stay-at-home husband and dad. Financially, we could afford to live off my income alone, eliminate the need to outsource child care and designate my husband as the primary caretaker. And from an emotional standpoint, it’s comforting to imagine our child being cared for by a parent rather than a hired caregiver.
But we’ve ultimately decided no matter how wide our income disparity and no matter who is bringing home the smaller paycheck, entirely opting out of the workforce to be a stay-at-home parent is far too risky. The cons outweigh the pros.
I didn’t always think like this. The single breadwinner model used to be the accepted norm in our country, and in some circles, during the turn of the century, it was considered an aspiration — a luxury practiced by the “elite, successful women who can afford real choice,” according to Lisa Belkin’s 2003 New York Times piece.
But times have changed. The economy has changed. We now know some of the struggles that surfaced for the aforementioned opt-out generation. And after spending the better part of the last two years examining the lives of couples and their financial choices and pouring over loads of research on the topic for my upcoming book “When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women,” I’ve come to the conclusion that stay-at-home parenting just isn’t worth it.
Bottom line: If the strength of your marriage and your finances is important to you, it’s best to keep working — at the very least, for the following three reasons.
You’ll have more financial stability and freedom.
While two incomes can certainly lead to more expenses, such as more vacations, nicer cars and outsourced help, when the money’s managed properly and households save well and spend conservatively, it can result in increased financial stability for everyone. If one partner gets laid off, not all is lost. There is the financial support of the other spouse — and hopefully some savings — to help keep the lights on while a new job materializes. As this academic summary from Hope College and Cornell University points out, “Not only are two wages often necessary to adequately provide for the needs of most families, dual-earner couples are less economically vulnerable than single-earner families, for whom a layoff can mean financial collapse.”
But perhaps my biggest fear for any stay-at-home parent is the loss of one’s individual financial independence. Financial autonomy is critical to any marriage. It reduces conflict over money matters and provides each partner with more freedom and flexibility to make choices, especially if the marriage fails and he or she needs to self-support. You don’t need to earn an equal amount or more money than your partner. You just need to earn enough so if you had to solely support yourself one day, you could. In practice, this could mean working part time and caring for your children part time, but unless you have a major inheritance parked somewhere, it can’t realistically mean departing from the workforce altogether.
You’ll enjoy greater career success.
When kids enter our lives, many of us will be at pivotal points in our careers or, at least, still have promising trajectories ahead. A major and costly tradeoff to becoming a stay-at-home parent is losing that momentum you’ve worked so hard to establish. Can you really afford this in the long run? Sure, the math may tell you it’s more economical to quit your job and be the primary caregiver today, but what about five or 10 years from now? If you have hopes of ever returning to your old post and picking up where you left off once your children are in school, it may not be so easy.
I’ll never forget what I learned from one working mom of two children profiled in my book. She said it’s much more feasible to have your kids taken care of when they are young and you’re climbing the corporate ladder or investing in your career than it is to be missing in action when they are in grade school and need more parental guidance.
She preached the importance of continuing to work when your children are young so that you can go on to earn the seniority that’s often necessary to call the shots and create a better work/life balance as your kids grow older and demand more of your time. And as Sheryl Sandberg points out in her book, “Lean In”: “Women’s average annual earnings decrease by 20 percent if they are out of the workforce for just one year … 30 percent after two or three years, which is the average amount of time professional women off-ramp from the workforce.”
I suspect the same — maybe even worse — is true for men who leave the corporate world and try to regain their professional status after being a stay-at-home father — due to the social stigma. In fact, one study published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology found that dads who left work for even a short period of time to tend to family matters received lower evaluations and suffered more negative performance ratings at work than women who opted out.
Your risk of divorce is lower.
Economists at Boston University found that dual-income marriages are more secure, and couples are less likely to split than those in marriages with only one working spouse. Further, according to the book “Getting to 50/50: How Working Parents Can Have it All,” marriages in which there is a sole breadwinner get divorced at a rate 14 percent above average, the highest of any income split. And if income and housework is divided evenly, the risk of divorce is 48 percent lower than average. Why? The authors say it’s got a lot to do with the fact that dual-income marriages have more financial stability. Being a sole breadwinner carries a tremendous amount of stress, and having a partner to share the weight can lead to more harmony and compatibility.
Now, you may be wondering, what about the children? Let’s not forget the most important people in our lives. Aren’t children better off when raised by a stay-at-home parent than a babysitter or daycare attendant? Conventional wisdom may lead one to think so, but from an academic standpoint, new research finds this to be false. After evaluating the grade point averages of 135,000 Danish 15 year olds whose mothers worked and whose mothers stayed at home, a research team led by Cornell University concluded that, ”maternal employment has a positive effect on children’s academic performance.” The authors believe that when both parents work, a bigger pool of money provides parents the ability to spend more on education enrichment like tutoring, music and sports.
Okay, but are kids happier with a parent at home? As sociologist Kathleen Gerson, author of the “Unfinished Revolution,” told me, the most important thing for your children to witness is that you have a healthy relationship with your work and your money. If they sense that you hate your job, it won’t matter how much you’re bringing in. They won’t appreciate it.
So the key here is not to just work for the sake of working and to defy stay-at-home parenting with just any job. If you want to make the most of this tradeoff, best to find work that actually feels fulfilling to you — and the kids will be alright.
March 18, 2014
Easy Ways to Make More Money
Ask and ye shall receive. Many of you emailed me to ask what might be some ways to earn more money – without waiting around for a raise. These are some of my favorite online money-making strategies.
Sell Your Duds
One of my rules of thumb for clothing clutter is if I haven’t worn an item in at least the last two years, I can probably do without it forever and it should find a new home. Donating is one smart option, but if you have some items that are still in great condition and of considerable value, you may prefer to cash in on your closet via online thrift shops like ThreadFlip and ThredUp where you can earn 80% of the selling price. The more in-season the item is – and the better the condition – the higher the price you can request.
Rent a Room or Your Home
The share economy has given rise to numerous websites that allow individuals to rent out their personal property and belongings. Airbnb is perhaps one of the pioneer sites in this space, as it’s grown into a multi-billion dollar business connecting millions of vacationers looking for more affordable lodging and home dwellers seeking to cash in on their extra space. It’s free to list your place on Airbnb. The site then charges homeowners 3% of each accepted reservation. For apartment and townhouse dwellers, make sure to double check with your community board or landlords to make sure short-term rentals are permitted.
Rent Your Vehicle…or Bike
Akin to Airbnb, websites like GetAround and RelayRides let you cash in on your idle vehicle by renting it to neighbors and travelers by the hour, day or week. (Don’t worry: Insurance is included). Car owners can set their own rates, and the potential to make money is strong. Car owners at GetAround, for example, can earn about $2,000 per year, according to the company. At RelayRides, the company says average car owners earn between $200 and $300 a month. Both companies take a cut of your earnings. At RelayRides it’s 25% and GetARound charges 40% of your rental income.
Don’t want to rent your car? What about your bike, snowboard or skis? Spinlister lets you list your rental at no charge and then takes a 17.5% cut when someone rents your ride. (Rides run anywhere from $5 to $150 per day!) Pay is automatically deposited in your Paypal account or via check, whichever you prefer.
Mystery Shop
Headed to the movies or restaurant? You might be able to earn some easy cash while you’re at it, so long as you carry a smartphone. Gigwalk is a relatively new mobile application that lets companies hire temp workers to help them evaluate their products and services in the field via its mobile application. Just download the free app and find local tasks ranging from snapping and sending photos of specific products at your local drugstore to reporting on service conditions at a local chain restaurant. Gigs range from $6 to $220 and can be assigned within minutes of your availability. The app is available on the iPhone and Android phones.
Run Neighborhood Tasks
From grocery shopping to home organization and office tasks, TaskRabbit connects busy individuals with at-the-ready temp workers that are either local or virtual. If you have an extra few hours a week or plan to run an errand of your own, check out TaskRabbit to see what task you might be able to fold into your existing schedule. Errands pay an average $40 to $50 each.
Teach Online
If you have strong knowledge of a particular subject matter, you may qualify to work as a tutor, either in-person or online with students ranging from kindergarten to college level and beyond via tutor.com, the largest and highest-rated online tutoring service. The site hires qualified tutors who can earn an average $10 to $14 per hour. (You are eligible to qualify for monthly bonuses based on high ratings from students). Math and science tutors have the potential to earn the most. According to the website, tutors go through a comprehensive application process that includes submitting a resume, teaching samples, and a writing sample. Tutors must also pass a third party security check and complete mock sessions with the site’s veteran tutors.
PetSit
If you’re a pet lover and have the qualified space and accommodations for watching after a dog, DogVacay could help you bring in some easy supplemental cash. Set up a profile for free and the site sends you referrals. You can choose your own terms, schedule and rates. The site charges 15% once you’ve made a booking. Payments are made electronically via PayPal or check. The site also offers 24/7 support and insurance.
Profit From Tech Skills
If you’re skilled at scheduling and organizing, software development, graphic design or copyediting there are a number of popular websites such as Elance, Odesk, Guru and Freelancer can connect you with employers seeking to hire virtual workers. You can create your own profile and let employers find you, or respond to the countless job inquiries.
March 16, 2014
Does He Resent Your Success?
This article originally appeared on DailyWorth.com
When I first moved to New York, I fell into the arms of a guy who seemed to have all the qualities fit for me — a driven, “world-is-my-oyster” kind of gal. He was patient, laid back and even confessed during one of our first dates he thought it would be cool to be a stay-at-home dad one day. But the more time we spent together, I began to realize my big appetite for success was, actually, feeding his insecurities. When I excitedly told him I received a spring internship at a major news network, he said, “Wow, cool!” Then, silence. Then he slumped back into his chair and said, “What am I going to do?”
My heart sank. We were both graduate students studying journalism and we had very different goals. But after that reaction, I hesitated to tell him about any personal development related to school or work.
Unfortunately, this dynamic isn’t unique. There’s fresh evidence that guys like him really are turned off by women like me — and there are deep-rooted reasons for it. A study from researchers at the University of Florida and the University of Virginia found that a man’s self-esteem suffers when his female partner succeeds, and it can cloud how he views the future of the relationship. Her “success” doesn’t just have to be money or work-related, either: The study also cited a partner’s weight loss as having a negative impact on a man’s ego.
Why? The study suggests that gender beliefs might moderate the effect, and “having a partner who experiences a success might hurt men’s implicit self-esteem because ambition and success are qualities that are generally important to women when selecting a mate.” Of course, this is a generalization. And having a mate who feels intimidated by your achievements doesn’t necessarily mean you’re destined to break up. But it’s important to identify the signs that he’s struggling with your successes, and deal with them, before they affect your ability to enjoy your accomplishments — and your relationship.
He’s Sarcastic
While searching for a parking space, you say you’d prefer to find free street parking because a garage space will cost $5 an hour. He responds: “Because you can’t afford it?!” Or if you wear a new dress to dinner and he chidingly asks, “Did you need to take a mortgage out to pay for that?” Watch out. There’s probably some insecurity lying behind his zingers.
While he may be quite the comedian otherwise, it’s not so funny when you become the punch line. Little sarcastic comments about your healthy lifestyle or your financial independence can be big red flags he’s uncomfortable with your success, says Eileen Gallo, a licensed psychotherapist in Los Angeles who works with couples.
If you notice a pattern, tell him his little digs make you uncomfortable. Next time he makes a sarcastic quip, respond gently with, “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” If he claims you’re being too sensitive, explain that while he’s normally supportive, he’s been hurting your feelings lately with his quips. By opening up and showing some vulnerability, he’ll hopefully realize he, in fact, has an important role in your success — and that’s to be emotionally supportive and encouraging, just as you would be for him.
He Discourages Your Ambition
At any given time, you may have a running list of goals — personal, professional, fitness, maybe academic. Looking back through my journal from my twenties, it was evident that I was a lover of lists. I jotted down a number of “life” goals I hoped to reach by age 30, including writing a book and starting my own business, both of which came true.
In the meantime, if you’re with someone who prefers to focus on the present and live a more carefree life, that’s not necessarily a deal breaker. What might be, however, is if he doesn’t respect your ambitions. Does he encourage you, or is he routinely pessimistic about your plans? If he criticizes your goal to, say, go back to graduate school or aim for a promotion at work, probe him further about why. What’s fueling his cynicism? Hear him out. He may just be more risk-averse and have valid trepidations worth considering. But if he can’t seem to articulate or back up his views rationally, take note. He may be intimidated by your drive.
Before you call the relationship quits, consider that he may just need reassurance that you’re equally looking forward to growing with him and building on your relationship together, just as much as your other goals. His intimidation may stem from feeling neglected or insecure about how important he is to you. Showing affection, scheduling frequent one-on-one time and reminding him how much his support means to you can go a very long way in making him feel more secure.
He Downplays Your Success
Does he belittle your accomplishments for the sake of trying to feel more adequate or superior?
Enlisting his help or advice with whatever you’re working toward can help him feel like he’s contributing to your success and can help to reduce his feelings of inadequacy surrounding it. Whether you’re gearing up for your next marathon or preparing for a big sales meeting, ask for his advice and support. As couples coach Kavita J. Patel explains, in order to feel deeply satisfied in their relationships, men want to make their women happy and provide for them in some way. So take advantage of that! He may not be taking care of you financially but what are some other ways — big and small — that he can provide? “Get vulnerable and let him in some way, whether emotionally or physically,” says Patel. This strategy can make him feel like he plays an important role in your success, as well as your life.
He’s Passive Aggressive
Passive-aggressive behavior can be verbal and non-verbal, and it’s a common way to express resentment, disapproval, anger or all of the above. Common examples include giving you the silent treatment, procrastinating or acting out. If you make more money or hold a more prestigious job, his passive-aggressive behavior may present itself when, for example, he shows up late — or never — to important events or fails to engage in conversation with your co-workers.
In my upcoming book, “When She Makes More,” one breadwinning woman I profile complains how her husband seems to never find time to help around the house or prepare the kids’ lunches because he’s “too busy with work.” But burying himself in his job, she senses, is his passive-aggressive way of dealing with his unspoken frustrations that she makes more than him.
She’s probably right, but what might help her (and you, if you’re in this situation) is to have an open and candid conversation about each other’s “purpose” in the relationship. If you find yourself doubting the strength and viability of your relationship, attempt to define or redefine the purpose of why you are together.
In researching my book, I’ve also discovered that while asking for his help is important, it’s even better to ask for his full accountability of something that’s important to both of you. For example, it’s one thing to ask him to “help” make dinner once in a while; it’s another to ask him to choose one major area in your shared life that he can completely and consistently take charge of, such as grocery shopping and all-things-kitchen-related (planning and preparing meals, packing lunches, stocking the pantry, etc). If all goes to plan, psychologically, he will feel more like a “provider,” and you can eliminate a great source of stress in your life.
He Makes You Feel Guilty
If a guy ever makes you feel unworthy, shameful or guilty about your merits or hard work (for example, he gets upset every single time you work late), that’s a very likely sign that he’s deeply insecure about his own success in comparison.
That said, do keep in mind that feelings of guilt and shame can be self-inflicted. This is especially true for women. Researchers in Spain found that, generally speaking, women inhibit more guilt than men (due mainly to genetics). So if you find yourself, say, hiding purchases from him or concealing the truth about your latest promotion, ask yourself why. Is it in reaction to his criticism? Or are you battling internally with owning and being proud of your decisions and success due to personal insecurities? If it’s the latter, open up to your partner about it anyway and seek his help. Don’t bury yourself in your guilt.
Want more tips? Click here to explore what dating and marriage experts describe as, “Stepping Into Your Feminine,” and download four simple and effective ways to play up your feminine power and build intimacy with your partner. Totally free!
March 14, 2014
Today: Put Money Back in Your Pocket
This morning on Today, I joined Lisa Gerstner of Kiplinger’s Personal Finance to discuss easy ways to save money right now from taxes to hotels, insurance and auto. Check out the clip and scroll down to learn more about my advice.
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Choose the Right Health Benefits
With many workers in the midst of their company’s open enrollment season for health care…and Obamacare’s open enrollment expiring at the end of this month, it’s important to take time to review your options and choose wisely.
A 2013 study by Aflac revealed that 56 percent of employees estimate they waste up to $750 a year because of errors made with insurance benefits elections.
Employees say they have made the following mistakes:
· 23% put too little or too much in their Flexible Spending Account
· 21% chose benefits they didn’t need or the wrong level of coverage
· 15% did not elect available benefit or voluntary benefit coverage
· 14% did not check to be sure their preferred medical professionals were in network or that the coverage deductions were correct
Save Thousands of Dollars PER YEAR on Property Taxes
Homeowners will have to set aside a big chunk for property taxes, but this may be an area where you can lower your costs substantially due to inflated property valuations. Thirty to 60 percent of taxable property is, in fact, over-assessed, resulting in inappropriately high property tax bills, according to the National Taxpayers Union.
The NTU’s website has a checklist of steps to take to appeal your assessment. It usually involves an hour in a local courtroom presenting various documents, but it could be well worth your time.
Anecdotally, I know of a New Jersey resident who lowered her annual property tax by $5,000 after proving the “fair market value” of her home. She had to document the value of similar houses sold on the same street within the year and to demonstrate that her house wasn’t purchased at a ‘fire sale’ but was consistent with house values on the street.
Call Insurance Agencies for Discounts – Save hundreds per year
You can always do better when it comes to insurance costs. From auto to home insurance, there’s a lot of competition in the marketplace and all it takes is being proactive and calling your agents and letting them know you want to save money.
Start with your home insurance. Call and ask about every available discount and mention any upgrades you’ve made on the house. If you don’t immediately qualify, mention any improvements you’ve made to the home. If you upgraded plumbing or electrical, added a security system, smoke detectors, etc., all that can shave up tp 20% discount off your monthly premium. The latest figures from the Insurance Information Institute show the average homeowners’ insurance premium is about $1,000 a year. A fast phone call to your insurance company could save you more than $200 a year.
Next, hit up your car insurance company. If you start driving less because you’re working from home now, or taking more public transportation or you’ve taken the keys away from your teenager, it’s worth calling up your car insurance company and letting them that. Or if you’ve bought a safer car. That changes how the insurance company underwrites your policy. To them, you’re technically not as high-risk of a client, so you shouldn’t have to pay as much as before. The average cost for auto insurance in this country is roughly $800. If you can shave off even just 15% because you are using your car less, that’s potentially $120 savings with one phone call.
Save More than $100 on Hotel Reservations
A travel tip for those of us planning a spring break or Memorial weekend getaway, take advantage of some new hotel booking websites that guarantee you the lowest prices. For example, online hotel-booking site Tingo.com keeps an eye on room rates up to 24 hours before check-in. If prices drop, they’ll refund you the difference. And at BackBid.com, travelers post existing lodging reservations and let competing hotels outbid their deal with discounts, upgrades or freebies. The sites says it offers an average savings of $143 per trip!
March 11, 2014
When She Makes More: Join the Launch!
I’m so excited to share with you that my new book, When She Makes More, hits shelves May 1. This means we’re just about to move into “book launch” time.
This is my third book, and I’ve decided to try something a little. . . different. I want to invite YOU to be a part of my bestseller campaign.
They say it takes a village to launch a bestselling book, and I’ve found that it’s absolutely true.
I’ve poured my heart and soul into this book, and for it to reach as many people as possible, it’s all about having passionate, committed people just like you spread the word about the book to your friends, colleagues, and social networks.
Therefore, I’m inviting all members of my community to apply to be part of a VIP Launch Team.
Will you join me?
Read on to see if this is something you’d to be a part of.
The Book
When She Makes More is a must-read guidebook for ambitious women. Women just like me and you, who have the potential to become breadwinners.
While it’s exciting that women are “leaning in” and making more, here’s the bad news – it can be threatening to our romantic relationships!
Studies show that breadwinning women are less likely to get married. And if they do, they are more likely to be unhappy, feel the pressure to work less AND take on the lion’s share of housework and childcare (to compensate for being in the traditionally masculine breadwinner role). Their marriages are also uniquely vulnerable to infidelity on both sides; plus, they are more likely to get divorced.
I wrote this book because I want to help women find happiness and reach full potential not just in their careers and financial lives, but in their relationships, too.
If this message resonates with you, I’d love for you to apply for our launch team.
The Launch Team
This is a special group of people who are willing to help me spread the word about the book.
We’re looking for team members who are excited both about the book’s message, and about being part of a (hopefully) bestselling book launch. Which means we’ll be selecting people who are truly passionate and willing to step up and do some work.
This is going to be an amazing group of influencers, including:
Tory Johnson, Good Morning America contributor, entrepreneur and New York Times best selling author
Kathryn Minshew, founder of The Daily Muse, a career advice and job search website
Barbara Stanny, leading authority on women and money & best selling author
Ilyce Glink, award-winning finance and real estate expert and founder of ThinkGlink.com
Marni Battista, dating and life coach and founder of DatingWithDignity
Nathalie Lussier, business strategist and digital visionary
You’ll get the inside scoop on the exciting media activities my publicity team has secured for my book launch, such as appearances on the Today Show, NBC’s Morning Joe, and other top news programs and talk shows.
When She Makes More will also be featured on Forbes.com, Entrepreneur, Marie Claire, Money and many more media outlets.
And, with some luck and Launch Team dedication, you’ll be involved in a bestseller campaign.
Plus, you get some sweet freebies for your kind help!
Team Member Benefits
As a Launch Team member, you will get. . .
A free, electronic PDF review copy of the book in advance of the publication date.
Exclusive access to me and the other team members in a Private Facebook Group.
A special THANK YOU on my blog – with a link to your website or blog. (Gotta love the link love!)
A 30-minute group phone session with me and the Street Team prior to the launch of the book. I know a lot of you out there have the dream of writing your own book – so I’ll be sharing my book launch strategy with you. It’s a great educational experience for you to learn bestseller secrets.
Team Member Sign-Up
First and foremost, thank you for your interest.
The next step in joining the Launch Team is to fill out a short application here.
Once you’re finished, submit the application. If you’re invited to join the team, you’ll hear back from us by March 21.
Thanks again. This is going to be a blast!
All the best,
March 10, 2014
Cosmo: Hiding Your Achievements?
Image courtesy of Cosmo.com
“Women use an endless list of tactics to seem less threatening,” to their male partners, writes Jessica Bennett, in her recent piece for Cosmopolitan. And “it’s not necessarily a conscious choice. Women who’ve been trained to be effective at work don’t always have a template for how to be in a relationship,” she continues.
I completely understand.
So much that Jessica included one of my own little marital “tactics” in her story: letting my husband pay when we’re in public. Am I crazy? Anti-feminist? Backwards? Well, one could say all of the above (and boy, have I heard it!) But for us, this is just part of the new dance we’ve developed as an untraditional couple that deeply acknowledges our emotions, upbringing and hardwiring.
My Persian brain, for instance, is used to seeing the man take charge of the bill, so when we’re at a restaurant, Tim uses the joint credit card that I pay in full every month. It may sound utterly ridiculous to some, but for me, it’s like a public display of affection. And when we are with my family, it’s comforting for my parents to see Tim settle a bill, too. I guess this is, in some weird way, our performance. Tim and I may live in a progressive society, but our parents remain old-fashioned when it comes to money and gender roles. And we are happy catering to their needs (and mine) in this manner.
If you’re curious to know how else we make our marriage work – and how dozens of other breadwinning women (and the men who love them) strategize, plan and dance, make sure to pre-order my upcoming book, When She Makes More. Hitting shelves May 1.
February 28, 2014
Women: You Deserve More Money
The gender pay gap has stalled in recent years, with women still earning 77 cents for every dollar a man makes in the workplace, the same as in 2011. And get this: even when we are our own bosses, we sell ourselves short. A new study developed by Babson College in partnership with Goldman Sachs discovered that female business owners paid themselves smaller salaries than men.
Workplace bias is partly to blame, but the gender pay gap is undeniably, also a factor of our own behavior, insecurities and low expectations as women. In Linda Babcock’s book, Women Don’t Ask, she, a professor of economics, outlines the following stats:
Men negotiate about four times as often as women.
When asked to describe the negotiation process, women said, “going to the dentist.” Men described it as “winning a ballgame.”
Women have far lower expectations when negotiating. If they do ask for more money, they request 30 percent less than men.
One in five women admit to never negotiating.
Excuses, excuses, right? If you think you deserve more money – and you very likely do – follow these steps to finally make it happen this year.
Gather Intel
Preparation is a major key to negotiating effectively. In the run-up to asking for more money, make sure you have knowledge of the following:
Your “salary range” or “salary band.” This provides a sense of your total earnings potential in your current job role. Every worker has a right to this information, which you can retrieve from Human Resources. Knowing where you lie on this range, whether, say, the 5th percentile or 95th percentile, can give you a sense of either how much room you have to grow in terms of earnings or if you ought to be in line for a promotion soon.
How you stack up against industry peers. To get a sense of how grossly underpaid you may be check out websites like Payscale.com and GlassDoor.com where you can find average salaries based on industry, experience and location.
How’s your company really doing? If you work for a publicly traded company you should be able to find out how healthy it is by simply doing a search for its latest quarterly statement, which can be found on either the company website or at SEC.gov/edgar. If it’s a private company then you may want to ask co-workers in accounting or finance what their sense of things are. This intel should serve as important context, as you position your request for more money. If the company is hiring more workers and posting gains in revenue, you should feel confident to ask for a bump in pay. Conversely, if the company is showing signs of weakness like cost cutting and closing down offices, you may want to better justify your raise by explaining how you can improve business and help to increase sales.
Highlight Your Performance
No matter how long you’ve been at the company or how popular you are among your coworkers, what matters most when negotiating a raise is your performance and your financial worth to the business. Are you someone who has proven she can boost the bottom line? Bring in more customers? Enhance the company’s visibility? Meet deadlines ahead of schedule? Deliver beyond expectations? Create a checklist of measurable accomplishments since you began working at the company and come to the meeting prepared to review them. Offer your manager a print out of these highlights for reinforcement.
Don’t Make It About You
Unfortunately women can face biases in the workplace when they ask for more money. Both male and female managers have negative feelings about female employees when they ask for a raise. In fact, as one Harvard study found, sometimes “it does hurt to ask.” To reconcile this, it may help to focus on the greater good. For starters, just by asking for a raise and taking the chance to negotiate shows you’re willing to stand up for what you believe in, an asset in any employee. Second, mention how your promoted efforts can benefit the overall company. By rewarding you with a raise, for example, you’ll be further motivated to spend more time, thought and execution to help advance the team.
