Irene Latham's Blog, page 54

The Butterfly Hours Memoir Project: BASKETBALL

For 2019 I'm running a year-long series on my blog in which I share my responses to the writing assignment prompts found in THE BUTTERLY HOURS by Patty Dann. I welcome you to join me, if you like! I've divided the prompts by month, and the plan is to respond to 3 (or so) a week. For some of these I intend to write poems, for others prose. The important thing is to mine my memory. Who knows where this exploration will lead?Here are January's prompts: apron, bar, basketball, bed, bicycle, birthday, boat, broom, button, cake, car.
<!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> </div>--> <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b>BASKETBALL</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I've never been much of a sportsperson, and in school I would do just about anything to avoid PE. Some years I got out of it by doing clean-up work for my teacher. In high school I helped my gym coach with his bus schedules (he was in charge of the school buses, and I was good at organizing...). I'm sure both of these things are wildly inappropriate and wouldn't happen today – but I was pretty happy about them when they happened to me! I don't remember playing basketball for fun, or attending a basketball game (and certainly not watching them on TV!). I don't think any of my siblings every played basketball, either. I have the faintest of faint recollections of being in a school (or church?) gym with my sister and throwing the basketball Granny style and even making a few (!).... and that brings to mind Grandma Dykes, whose physical build I completely inherited. Yet, she, apparently, was quite the athlete. She played basketball in school, long before it was popular for girls to play basketball. From what my father said, she was quite good. I wish I knew more.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CLEI9wQGrr..." imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="528" height="308" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CLEI9wQGrr..." width="400" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b>Dear Basketball,</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I've watched the way </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">in other people's hands</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">you dribble, </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">spin, and roll –</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">while in mine</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">you sleep like a troll.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Perhaps I should take</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">more time,</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">get to know your ways.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Maybe then</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I might come to love</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">your bumpy, orange face.</div><br /><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0.08in;"> <i>- Irene Latham</i></div><a style="background-color:black;color:white;text-decoration:none;padding:4px 6px;font-family:-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:bold;line-height:1.2;display:inline-block;border-radius:3px" href="https://unsplash.com/@tommybebo?utm_m..." target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" title="Download free do whatever you want high-resolution photos from tommy bebo"><span style="display:inline-block;padding:2px 3px"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" style="height:12px;width:auto;position:relative;vertical-align:middle;top:-2px;fill:white" viewBox="0 0 32 32"><title>unsplash-logo</title><path d="M10 9V0h12v9H10zm12 5h10v18H0V14h10v9h12v-9z"></path></svg></span><span style="display:inline-block;padding:2px 3px">tommy bebo</span></a>

The Butterfly Hours Memoir Project: BAR

For 2019 I'm running a year-long series on my blog in which I share my responses to the writing assignment prompts found in THE BUTTERLY HOURS by Patty Dann. I welcome you to join me, if you like! I've divided the prompts by month, and the plan is to respond to 3 (or so) a week. For some of these I intend to write poems, for others prose. The important thing is to mine my memory. Who knows where this exploration will lead?
Here are January's prompts: apron, bar, basketball, bed, bicycle, birthday, boat, broom, button, cake, car.

BAR

<!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I don't have any memories from childhood that involve a drinking establishment kind of bar – my parents were teetotalers, though I suspect my father did drink some, just not around us. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I have only limited experience with a ballet bar, as I took dance classes when I was wee and did temporarily nurture dreams of toe shoes. One of the best compliments I ever received was that I have a “dancer's neck.” Unfortunately that grace does not extend to my other body parts. Instead, my best party trick is to wow people with the odd angles my double-jointedness creates. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I do, however, have a memory to share related to monkey bars. I was a climber as a child and loved trees, swingsets, slides, merry-go-rounds, you name it. I still enjoy high look-out places and have not experienced that fear of heights my husband suffers from. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I loved playing on the monkey bars at school during recess, and one day, as I was happily atop, I saw my mother walking down the sidewalk. I instantly cringed, not because I was on top of the monkey bars (she encouraged our explorations) but because I wasn't wearing the same clothes I'd gone to school in. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">At the time my mom was sewing my clothes, and they were not cool AT ALL, so each morning on the bus I would change into something else. And on this day, I was up on the monkey bars with no way to hide. She noticed right away, and it was a big deal in our relationship and a big moment in me becoming my own person. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">My mother wrote me a letter expressing how hurt she was – a letter I still have. I hated disappointing her, but I also didn't want to wear those homemade clothes anymore. After that day, I was able to wear other things to school. It took quite a few more years for me to learn what a gift those homemade clothes had been – what a gift <i>any</i>homemade gift is. Thankfully I've been able to express that to my mother many times since then.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br />

The Butterfly Hours Memoir Project: APRON

For 2019 I'm running a year-long series on my blog in which I share my responses to the writing assignment prompts found in THE BUTTERLY HOURS by Patty Dann. I welcome you to join me, if you like! I've divided the prompts by month, and the plan is to respond to 3 (or so) a week. For some of these I intend to write poems, for others prose. The important thing is to mine my memory. Who knows where this exploration will lead?
Here are January's prompts: apron, bar, basketball, bed, bicycle, birthday, boat, broom, button, cake, car.


APRON
<!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Grandma Dykes never wore an apron – though she did give me one just a few years before she died. It was a frilly pink confection, not a practical piece of fabric for catching spills. I can't imagine her ever wearing such a thing, and probably it was a gift she'd thought too pretty to wear. She was the Queen of preserving things of beauty – that's why the couch stayed covered in plastic my entire childhood. That's why she never wore the clothing items my sister and I got for her. But if there was anyplace she was most herself, it was in the kitchen. She loved company while she cooked, though she could not tolerate help of any kind. We kids were invited to sit on the stool that always stood in the corner. From our perch, we were welcome to watch and converse. Grandma Dykes took a hands-on approach to cooking. She put her long, capable fingers in everything, often mixing things like hoecake batter with her hands. She liked to taste things, too. By the time we'd sit down to a meal, she'd rarely put more than a spoonful on her plate – because she'd already have eaten her fill.</div><br />

Because Elephants ARE Poetry

Hello and Happy first Poetry Friday of this still-sparkling new year! Be sure to visit Sylvia at Poetry for Children for Roundup and for her delicious annual list of forthcoming poetry books for children!

Today I am feeling HAPPY... which happens to be my 2019 One Little Word. Not only has CAN I TOUCH YOUR HAIR? been included with some other lovely titles as a Cybils Finalist for poetry and a Nerdy Book Club best poetry book (congratulations to all, and so many thanks to the panelists! We're delighted and hope this brings new readers to the book!), I also have a new book that releases next week called MEET MISS FANCY.

MEET MISS FANCY features a fictional boy, a real-life elephant, and a "No Colored Allowed" sign in 1913 Birmingham, Alabama.

from HORTON HATCHES
THE EGG by Dr. SeussI wrote this book so many times and in so many ways! I gave up about a hundred times. But. I had friends who encouraged me, and there was also Dr. Seuss' HORTON whispering in my ear: "an elephant's faithful one hundred percent." I wanted to be faithful, too -- to my story, to history and emotion, to myself. And lo, now it's a book! I'm so grateful to G.P. Putnam's Sons and one Excellent Editor Stacey Barney in particular.

Lovely reviews have been pouring in... including a shiny star from Booklist! Here's an excerpt from the review:

"Meet Miss Fancy should be savored for its joyous, vibrant renderings of Avondale's African American community and families, so full of movement and light that they often resemble stills from an animated film. This is a gem of a story."

Eeep! Illustrator John Holyfield and I could not be more delighted. We hope many readers experience all the emotions Frank experiences in the book. (One of the things I love best about the book is how emotional it is... all thanks to John's illustrations! Beautiful, beautiful work, I tell you.)

So, in celebration of MISS FANCY, I thought I'd share some elephant-y goodness with you today.

Do you remember the book of elephant poems called COUSINS OF CLOUDS by Tracie Vaughn Zimmer, illus. by Megan Halsey & Sean Addy? Read a review I love over at Hope is the Word. You can win a copy of this book (along with 10 other elephant books!) by subscribing to my newsletter -- new issue with giveaway coming next week!

I've been playing around with drawing elephants using SQUIGGLE! by Kenza Hayashi. This is my favorite doodling book ever.

Finally, here's a poem I wrote called "Let's Celebrate the Elephant," that's metaphor-heavy (!) and appears in THE POETRY FRIDAY ANTHOLOGY FOR CELEBRATIONS selected by Sylvia Vardell and Janet Wong.


Let's Celebrate the Elephant
<!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">it's gray-sky, </span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">dumptruck body</span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">perched on treestump legs,</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">it's impeccable,</span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">flexible hosepipe trunk</span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">framed by sailboat ears.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And let's not forget </span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">that swishing, </span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">twitching flyswatter tail</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;">bringing up the rear!</span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i>- Irene Latham</i></span></div><br /><br />Thanks for reading! If you have a favorite elephant book or poem, please share in comments! xo

Happy is as Happy Does: One Little Word for 2019

a little bit of Happy
I found at breakfast on
Christmas morning! :)Hello! It's nice to be back after the holiday break -- which, in all these years of blogging, I have never taken until this holiday season! 

It's been refreshing to step back, to enjoy simple pleasures with my family without feeling pressured to email or Tweet or blog about it. 
(This pressure, of course, is self-generated. No one is making me keep an active digital life! So the limit-setting was an experiment, and you know what? I really liked it!)

And now here we are, gathering for our first Spiritual Journey Thursday of the new year. Be sure to visit Ruth at there is no such thing as a godforsaken town for Roundup! Traditionally this is the time we reveal our new One Little Words -- a practice I myself have been keeping since 2008. 

I've known since mid-November what my 2019 One Little Word would be... sometimes a word just calls and calls, refusing to budge. This one is like that! 



Actually, that graphic feels a bit much for the feeling of "happy" I am going for... I think my happy is more soft, sunshine-y yellows and flower blossoms and fuzzy kittens, but this will do for today. :)

I am drawn to the word "Happy," because I believe happiness is a choice. I think we can cultivate it in our lives. We can choose Happy each and ever moment.  

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Consider the following quotes:

"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." - Abraham Lincoln

<!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will."</span></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>- L.M. Montgomery</i></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><b><u><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">How do you know if you're happy?</span></u></b><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Take the <a href="https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/...! And/or consider these quotes:</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><br /><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."</span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">-<i> Joseph Addison</i> </span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour." </span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>- Unknown</i></span></span></div><style type="text/css"> <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><u>Ways to Cultivate Our Happy:</u></span></b></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Living our life deeply and with happiness, having time to care for our loved ones, this is <span style="color: black;">another kind of success</span>, another kind of power, and it is much more important." </span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">-<i> Thich Nhat Hanh</i></span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Precisely the least, the softest, lightest, a lizard’s rustling, a breath, a flash, a moment – a little makes the way of the best happiness." </span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>- Friedrich Nietzsche</i></span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come." </span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>-William Shakespeare</i></span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness. Embrace being perfectly imperfect. Learn from your mistakes and <span style="color: black;"><u>f</u>orgive yourself</span>, you’ll be happier. We make mistakes because we are imperfect. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward."</span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>- Roy T. Bennett</i></span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>"Happiness is a function of <span style="color: black;">accepting what is</span>." </i></span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">- Werner Erhard</span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."<br /><i>- Mark Twain </i></span><br /><div><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."</span></div><div><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>- Dalai Lama </i><br /><br /> </span><b><u><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Some Ways I'm Bringing Happy Into My Life This Year:</span></u></b><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Daily readings from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Year-Tiny-Plea... Year of Tiny Pleasures</a> calendar</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Daily readings from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sing-Song-Seas... A SONG OF SEASONS</a></span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Participating in the <a href="https://www.basbleu.com/">Bas Bleu</a> book club</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">More just-because-we-want-to travel with my husband</span><br /><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WzB6DKpE1A..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="231" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WzB6DKpE1A..." width="213" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Less travel-for-books</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Serving my community by running a reading series</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Serving my community by continuing to facilitate a Wild Reader (kids) Book Club at our local library</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Continuing many of my favorite writing practices, including <a href="https://www.irenelatham.com/artspeak.... /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Embarking on a new writing journey based on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Butterfly-Hour... BUTTERFLY HOURS</a> by Patty Dann memoir assignments (I'll be posting these here throughout the year!)</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">... and who knows what else?? I am leaving room for Happy to find <i>me</i>.</span><br /><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><br /><style type="text/css"> <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } A:link { so-language: zxx } </style> </div>-->

Poems for Winter Solstice & Winter Writing

Hello and Happy Poetry Friday! Be sure to visit Buffy's Blog for roundup.
Today starts my Christmas internet break, but before I go, I've got two oldies but goodies for you... one specifically about the winter solstice, and the other about writing in winter-- something I plan to do a lot of in the coming months! But, first: Christmas and travel and family and JOY! Wishing you joy today and all days... thanks so much for being such a lovely part of 2018!

written and posted 2014
Winter Solstice

No more hurry
hurry.

Time now for firelight
and dreaming,

for church bells
mingling

with the cold
quiet sunlight.

And somewhere
deep

inside of you

a kernel of courage
unfurling --

each day,
more light.

- Irene Latham


written and posted 2011Writing in Winter

blades slice
easy 8s
across ice pond

You breathe
teeter
weave

arms tight
flung w i d e
tight again

just you
and your tingly
truths

your deliberate
unmittened
heart

and a whirl
of white
waiting

- Irene Latham

TRIBE OF MENTORS: Final Q & A: the Joy of Lists

Welcome to the final installment of my TRIBE OF MENTORS by Timothy Ferriss series, in which I have asked myself the questions posed in the book. Thanks so much for reading!

Earlier posts:
Q.1 about books
Q.2 about best purchase under $100Q.3 about my favorite failureQ.4 my billboard message
Q.5 most worthwhile investment
Q.6 absurd love
Q.7 new belief that's improved my life
Q.8 advice for college students
Q.9 bad recommendations for poets & authors
Q.10 how and when to say NO

Today's question:


When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)
So this is a question about getting back on track... no matter how hard we may try, or how good we are at what we do, derailment happens! It just does. Because life is unpredictable, and humans are... human. Here are the words that help me find my way again:
First things first.
Do the next right thing.
One day at a time.
Progress not perfection.
Santa's not the only listmaker! :)And here's something very practical anyone can do: make a list. Lists have saved the day for me so many times! Just the act of writing a list of what needs to be done helps me feel less overwhelmed. And then when I start ticking things OFF the list? Joy! :)

TRIBE OF MENTORS: Q.10 How (& When) to Say NO

Welcome to the latest installment of my TRIBE OF MENTORS by Timothy Ferriss series. I will post the final question and answer tomorrow.

Earlier posts:
Q.1 about books
Q.2 about best purchase under $100Q.3 about my favorite failureQ.4 my billboard message
Q.5 most worthwhile investment
Q.6 absurd love
Q.7 new belief that's improved my life
Q.8 advice for college students
Q.9 bad recommendations for poets & authors

Today's question:

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?
something I said YES to:
a trip to climb the fire tower
at Palisades ParkI adore this question! It's still a struggle for me, saying "no," when my life philosophy is pretty much to say YES to everything! But. I am only one person. And learning to say "no" more often has been essential.  <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } </style> <br />--> <u></u><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">These days I am better at saying no to anything I do not think I will <b>enjoy.</b> Which means asking a lot of other questions about the event, and being honest: will I be required to sit behind a table for hours? NO. Will I be "competing" with other authors, having to "pitch" my books and beg for people to stop by my table? NO. You get the idea!</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HPZZRJotbH..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HPZZRJotbH..." width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...another YES...</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The question I ask now is not, “Will it be worth it? Should I?” </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Instead I ask: “Do I WANT to? Will it be fun?" </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And here is the kicker: "Is it worth me giving up time with my family and the peace of the lake?”</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When I remember that time is a limited resource, it makes it easier for me to be honest about what these events cost me. And the truth is, I am less and less willing to be someplace else when I can be here with the people I love best.</div>

TRIBE OF MENTORS: Q.9 Bad Recommendations for Poets & Authors

Hello and Happy Poetry Friday! Be sure to visit Laura Shovan for Roundup.

I do have a poem to share with you today, but first... welcome also to the latest installment of my TRIBE OF MENTORS by Timothy Ferriss series. Just two more questions to go!

Earlier posts:
Q.1 about books
Q.2 about best purchase under $100Q.3 about my favorite failureQ.4 my billboard message
Q.5 most worthwhile investment
Q.6 absurd love
Q.7 new belief that's improved my life
Q.8 advice for college students

Today's question:

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

Every conference I attend, every author I meet, the talk soon turns to marketing -- especially in terms of how to use social media to promote a book. There's all kinds of advice out there, from creating a website, to joining the latest and greatest platform to branding your print materials, and on and on.

Here's the thing: All of that stuff is distraction. You can't control book sales or reviews. You can't really measure the success of any of those efforts.

The best thing you can do for your writing career is... WRITE.

And sure, if you love Twitter, tweet! If you love sharing photographs, get on Instagram! These are wonderful ways to connect with other like-minded folks. But don't fool yourself into thinking you "need" to do it, or you "must" do it, or not doing any of it is the reason your book didn't get the response you'd hoped for.

There are so many factors involved! I repeat: so many factors you CANNOT control. The only thing you'll accomplish when you attempt to control these uncontrollables is to make yourself crazy/depressed/heartbroken.

Focus on what you can control: the words you put on the page. Quantity. And success in your career will follow!
---------
And now for a poem. This one I found in a book called THE BILL MARTIN JR, BIG BOOK OF POETRY, edited by Bill Martin Jr., illustrations by a slew of artists, brought to us by Simon & Schuster.
This poem came to mind because earlier this week I took a photograph of a pink morning sky -- and that got me thinking about night skies and whatever-the-hour skies.

pink morningSo Many Nights

So many nights.
Blue nights.
Brown nights,
and the sudden lights
In deep black nights
Of stars
And cars
And airplanes
And soft gray nights when it rains
And blue nights with a foggy moon
Smoking in the trees

And pink and red nights
Above great cities
And silver nights all filled with stars
And misty nights when a white mist
Drifts
And lifts over the white-topped fields
And purple nights beyond the lights
Of your own room
And blue snowy nights
And night that is just
Dark bright night.

- Margaret Wise Brown

What are your favorite skies?

TRIBE OF MENTORS: Q.8 Advice for College Students

Welcome to the latest installment of my TRIBE OF MENTORS by Timothy Ferriss series.

Earlier posts:
Q.1 about books
Q.2 about best purchase under $100Q.3 about my favorite failureQ.4 my billboard message
Q.5 most worthwhile investment
Q.6 absurd love
Q.7 new belief that's improved my life

Today's question:
What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

I love this question! And it's one I've had the opportunity to talk a lot about here lately with our new college freshman. And, as it happens, my favorite parts of TRIBE OF MENTORS are in answer to this question.
a path my father took
(in North Dakota)
My answer is this:

There's no right/wrong path... just different paths. Whatever choice you make will teach you something/move you toward something. Just choose and GO.

As for advice to ignore: maybe... ignore all advice. Go out and make your own mistakes. Research, explore, do... your life is happening NOW, not in some distant, fuzzy future.