Monica Valentinelli's Blog: booksofm.com, page 80

CISPA Passes the House. Yes, This Affects You.

Back when I first started in online marketing, legislating the internet was just a glimmer in the public’s eye. Even on that side of things, we took for granted the pioneering spirit of the internet, because so many of us thrive on the internet as it is. Hard to imagine it any other way! Those days are long past. It’s inevitable something will pass, the question is what?

Earlier this year, SOPA was introduced and defeated. Many well-meaning legislators tried to put forth a law that greatly affected avid users, but weren’t well understood by those who don’t rely on the internet for their livelihood or other reasons. Internet experts were easily dismissed, which blew my mind when I watched the hearings!

CISPA, which some say is much worse, was just passed a day ahead of schedule in the House with amendments. Here’s a breakdown of how the representatives voted.

I want to point something out in this bill, because I think it’s something that a lot of people don’t keep in mind when they post on the internet. This is a very good quote from TechDirt:

The government would be able to search information it collects under CISPA for the purposes of investigating American citizens with complete immunity from all privacy protections as long as they can claim someone committed a “cybersecurity crime”. Basically it says the 4th Amendment does not apply online, at all. Moreover, the government could do whatever it wants with the data as long as it can claim that someone was in danger of bodily harm, or that children were somehow threatened—again, notwithstanding absolutely any other law that would normally limit the government’s power. — Source: TechDirt

What does this mean? This translates to the legal authorities’ ability to profile you based not only on what you post, but when, and to whom. Every post in anger? Threaten someone bodily harm but not really mean it?

This bill also supercedes any privacy doctrine or guidelines on the web. Eventually, there will be other internet options that will pop up, but when they flourish they’ll likely be illegal at first before the internet splits. What we’ve experienced for so many years is changing and the so-called reckoning is just beginning.

I don’t want to sound conspiratorial or doom-and-gloom here, but I do want to continue to warn you, my dear readers, that the internet is not the free-for-all so many would have us believe. There’s this thing called a “digital footprint” wherever you walk. Something to think about as more legislation comes to bear. Everything — and I mean everything — is being tracked.

I would like to thank Joshua Kubli from for pointing out that the fate of this legislation has not yet passed the Senate, nor has Obama weighed in. I know many of you may not be politically active, but if you have an opinion, now would be the time to express it.

Mood: Con Crudding

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Giving up soda. Hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Housework.

In My Ears: A playlist titled “She-Ra POWAH”

Game Last Played: Memory foggy.

Movie Last Viewed: Total blank.

Latest Artistic Project: Cross-stitch

Latest Release: Redwing’s Gambit for Bulldogs! the RPG

Don’t Read This Book: an Insomniac’s Hallucinatory First Draft

Yesterday, the digital version of Don’t Read This Book was released into the wilds of the internet.

If you’re one of my regular readers, you know I consider myself to be a method writer. Well, for this world? For a story based on insomniacs? Yep, I totally dove right into that! The first version I wrote while I was in New York City in October of last year after a long day of extended travel and a lack of caffeine. Instead of typing out the draft, I hand wrote it, and made large scribbling motions. (I normally write in all caps.)

I remember feeling like I had no control over the thoughts that were tumbling out of my head. The language was repetitive and coarse. There was lots of swearing and tangents thrown — like an imagined conversation with a set of decorative piggy banks perched on a cubicle wall as well as a Bleached Man who was trying to save himself from chemical disintegration. There were many moments where my eyes were closed and my pen drifted over the page as the story poured from my fingertips.

The story that resulted from the experience wasn’t strong enough to stand on its own because, as my editor Chuck Wendig aptly point out, it wasn’t grounded in reality. I feel there’s two parts to Don’t Rest Your Head: the world you know and the Lands between. I wound up revising the tale to go almost full on into reality. Instead of stumbling along in the surreal Slumbering Lands, the majority of “Don’t Ignore Your Dead” is an examination of one character’s grief. The game itself is very tangible in that there has to be a cost or an issue the character is trying to resolve; the finished version absolutely fits that requirement. While the final version is a lot tighter and less bizarre, there are elements that remain. To find out what did, you’ll have to read the story.

Regardless of whether or not my tale touches you, I’m sure one of the other mighty, mighty authors in this anthology will. And, if an anthology about struggling insomniacs doesn’t interest you, I hope you’ll find another one that will!

Here’s what the draft looks like. You can click on it for a larger preview.

Here’s a couple of paragraphs about the pigs and Other Me from the very first draft. This is *as it appears* in my journal, so the words may not be entirely work-safe. Apparently, in my stupor I was fixated on the idea that some people collect pigs for no reason other than to terrify us. The whole draft runs around in circles and it’s lack of cohesiveness was interesting to explore. I’ve had bouts of insomnia, but never really applied that creatively before.

Excerpt from “Don’t Ignore Your Dead” First Draft

The office is empty, but I’m not alone. I can feel someone watching me. I’m not going to take this shit sitting down. All I have to do is make it across the room to the hallway. That weird light is gone, but I can still feel (or rather) smell it. It reeks like a swimming pool. Bleach or cleaning supplies or something. I creep past a set of cubicles and snort. Someone’s idea of a joke. Pigs. I’m not shitting you. It’s a collection of pigs. Pink, pot-bellied, googily-eyed, sunglass-wearing, motorcycle-riding hogs.

Those fucking things better not be chasing me, too. Shit. I glare at a piggy bank as I stomp past them.

“I’m warning you. You’ll be bacon. Deep-fried, crispy bacon.”

They didn’t follow me; though one of them twitched. I wasn’t in the mood to let that go.

“See this?” I said, pointing to the curst blood on my hands. “Not taking your shit tonight. Okay?”

A smaller pig — a white-and-green bank with shamrocks all over it — whimpered.

“Well, now you know who’s boss.” I said.

Ka-chiiiiinnnnng.

The emo bank spits out a coin. I take it. Maybe it pays to be nice after all. It’s a silver dollar; only not one I’ve seen before.

On the back it reads: IN SELF WE TRUST.

I’ll buy that. I guess.

“You see?” I shout. “You know who’s in charge?”

Tsssshhh-shhhhk.

Then.

Laughter. Hard, grating. It’s my voice. Only hollow. A sad replica.

Other Me.

“Oh, hell…”

I book it. (Book ‘em, Dan-o.) Down, down, down the endless rows of cubicles. Grey walls. So dirty. Black lines melting into one another. Faster I run — worse it gets. Hallway’s just a spot, a glimmer in my red eyes. Can I get there? I need to wash this shit off. Copier’s tagged me. I’m sure of it. That’s why It keeps. Coming. Why the Other me is hunting me down like a jilted lover. I have its guts all over me. I’m painted like a big ole target with special copier scent and it’s killing me. It’s killing me because I’m dirty. I’m not clean or pure. I’ve done things. Stupid things.

Not my fault. Can’t be. Just won’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Nothing in the world will let me rest or dream or snort. Nothing. So I tried the opposite once. Tried biting, carving, sliding… just to stay alive. But it is healthy? Was it safe?

Why do you think I have all these tattoos swirling and spiraling up and down my arms? There isn’t an inch of bare flesh where I cut. But only I can see the scars.

And Other Me. Can’t forget about Her. She can see them, too.

I’ve been running for a while. Run, run, run up and down, sideways. All the cubes look the same. I keep running but I’m not getting any closer. It’s such crap. Well, not crap. A carrot. It’s like someone’s dangling a carrot on the end of a stick or I’m the white rabbit. Only I’m not going down, down, down the rabbit hole. I went up and out. This isn’t Slumberland. This is where I finally get what’s coming to me. Judgement. WHere someone else makes up the rules. Right?

Darkness all around me. Copier behind me. Blood dried up all over my clothes. Even the stuff running through my veins — the thick blood — feels sluggish, like slow-moving, pieces of ash. Dammit. The copier’s watching me. It’s just been sitting there, waiting for me to open myself up or maybe it’ll attack me when I get to the light.

On maybe it is the light. I don’t know. I can’t think. I can’t reason. I can’t…

I recite my lessons. Hope something simple keeps my mind active.

Two plus two is four

Nevermore

Go through the door, Lenore.

Quote the Raven

Nevermore

That’s it! I yell at Other Me. I howl at the cubes. “Never More. Never fucking more. Nevermore!”

We did it! Now Vote on What Fang Blows Up.

Earlier this evening, I promised that if we achieved the new stretch goal by midnight tonight, you would get to vote on what (or who) Fang blows up in my story. For context, read my earlier post today titled: “Fang (and I) Need Your Help.” or visit the Have Blaster, Will Travel Bulldogs! anthology Kickstarter.

As promised, here’s a poll! I can’t write this without you, so help me decide where the explosions’ll happen. If you can’t fill it out on this post, follow this link.

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Fang (And I) Need Your Help

Dear Readers of Extraordinary Calibre:

If the “Have Blaster, Will Travel” Kickstarter reaches its next stretch goal of $3,000 by Sunday, April 29th, you will receive three new science fiction stories in this anthology. Not only am I one of the authors included in that new goal, but you’ll also get a story *just* about Fang, the psychotic teddy bear featured in the novella Redwing’s Gambit.

I believe in this setting, the publisher, and the talented authors involved. But more than that, this is my opportunity to write a character fans like and design a plot you’ll enjoy. To me, that’s “the” reason why I write.

I hope you’ll support this collection of stories and beg your forgiveness if this went too far into Self-Promotion Land, but there are days when I ache for the cheers of my readers. This character is one of my favorites and I’d hate to see him die a horrible, untimely death.

To back the Kickstarter, visit Have Blaster, Will Travel: A Bulldogs! Anthology

Love,

Agent M

Pre-Order Don’t Read This Book

Down a lonely alleyway, under a starless sky, lies a city that never was, yet is: the Mad City, where nightmares walk the streets, and a good night’s sleep can get you killed.

Here, then, is a book from that place. Within these recovered pages are the tales of the Awake, insomniacs who’ve walked those perilous streets, bringing a bit of the power of dream with them to fight back the night—always at a terrible cost.

For many, it will not end well. For a few, they might just become heroes—or at least find their way back home.

For you, a choice. Turn away. Don’t read this book. And maybe you’ll continue to rest easy. Or open the cover and enter a world unlike any you’ve ever dared to imagine…

Edited by Chuck Wendig and featuring the stories of…

- Stephen Blackmoore

- Harry Connolly

- Rich Dansky

- Matt Forbeck

- Laura Anne Gilman

- Will Hindmarch

- Mur Lafferty

- Robin D. Laws

- Ryan Macklin

- C. E. Murphy

- Josh Roby

- Greg Stolze

- Monica Valentinelli

My story is titled “Don’t Ignore Your Dead.” It is an exploration of grief for a college-aged insomniac plagued with guilt, anger, and loss.

Pre-Order the softcover edition at EvilHat.com today.

(via FlamesRising.com)

Novels, Long-Term. Short Stories, Short. Money? Oh, Money.

From the “What readers want to know” files, someone asked me about how I set my goals and how far in advance I set them. I can’t, for the life of me, remember who asked me the question and when. The past few days have been a jaunt into the land of hallucinogens. Felled by sinus troubles and sparkly antelopes. Anyway, the question resurfaced from layers of muck and I thought it was such a good one that I wanted to address it here. So, if you did ask that question, I owe you a book. (Seriously.)

What I do for a living affects what I write in the sense that certain projects are written on spec and others are for companies or individuals. The “others” part of the equation can pay lots or a little; can be an open invite or a closed call.

However, having a steady stream of income dramatically affects my writing goals based on a) what I want to write and b) when it pays. Lesson learned: I do *not* base any budget on what I can earn on creative freelance projects.

It may not seem like I write intentionally, but trust me — I do. Very much so, in fact. The new story I wrote for the Don’t Read This Book anthology titled “Don’t Ignore Your Dead” allowed me to explore grief. Almost every story I have out there was written with an experiment in mind, but in a way that is still enjoyable for you to read. But that’s the small scale.

The large scale, of course, are the novels. There are full-time authors I would kidnap/murder/teleport/beg to get a novel out of, but they can’t afford it. Literally, they cannot afford to write a novel because that removes their ability to pen screenplays, game material, scripts, etc. that they are paid handsomely for. I was one of them.

Now, that may sound like an excuse, especially to those of you who make time to write novels. The thing I’ve learned is, that if you want to write novels, you write novels. If you want to pen short stories, write those. Scripts? Etc. Etc. Etc. Mind you, there’s a reason why I’m writing short stories while other more sinister plots are hatched on my laptop, but money is a reality and a motivator for people to write in the first place.

Having a steady source of income allows me to achieve what I want to creatively because I have more flexibility to make decisions. If I’m scrambling (e.g. broke or uncertain) then I have to make tough choices that’ll cut into other goals. And I have, because I want to deliver and deliver well regardless of what I’m working on.

Money isn’t the only cause to make goals longer-term, though. For me, it’s about process and mastery of a particular form. I love to write. Love it. This is the Work. This is Art. This is Life to me. Marketing, which is part and parcel to being an author now-a-days, was my distraction. A huge one. Oh, I got suckered into the fray and wanted to do the things everybody else was doing because I, like many in this industry, enjoy and want to belong to the community. ****ERROR****MISTAKE****ERROR****BALETED****. Mind you, I do the marketing thing for The Day JobTM. Some marketing occurs based on perception rather than science so you get a bunch of people doing “X” because everyone else is. Wheeeee! Isn’t this fun!?!?!

No, not really. Not if it distracts you from the Work. And, in reality, it’s not always valuable to market. Sometimes, there is great value in shutting the hell up. Especially if it cuts into the thing you hold most dear and causes you to doubt your efficacy based on silly notions. There is what happens, there are the common perceptions of what really occurs, and there are the things that develop based on those illusions.

This notion is what led me to write “Planting the Decision Tree” for the newly-launched Book Life. In the article, I talk about the sides of the equation to weigh when making a decision. Learned, painfully, through trial-and-error. Who is the master of your destiny? You. Not anyone else. You. Well, and (more to the point and the reason why I’m writing this post) me.

Anyhoo, back to the original topic which, as usual, I meandered away from. Yes, my goals are long-term. Very. They are not fixed and immutable, however, because if they were I would be (to put it mildly) screwed. This is why I have more than one set of them, because I cannot survive if I bank everything on IT. If I concentrate only on IT, then I have blinders on to get to IT and miss out on opportunities when other things fall apart. (And that, my readers, is something I have a lot of experience with. Things falling apart. Not to be confused with the book Things Fall Apart which, of course, is a fantastic tome.)

I do plan well in advance but all the mad plots in the world are mere puffs of smoke. What they’re based on, however, is the Work. What am I penning? Well, if you stick with me, you’ll certainly find out.

Mood: Con Crud by Proxy

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Less than I would like but not half as much as I deserve.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: I moved from couch to chair.

In My Ears: Kingdom Hearts

Game Last Played: Um… Double um…

Movie Last Viewed: Can’t remember. Darn it!

Latest Artistic Project: Cross-stitch

Latest Release: Redwing’s Gambit for Bulldogs! the RPG

There is only one Soundwave, thank you.

The story behind this particular acquisition is a sordid and wistful tale of nerd rage. Yes, even I succumb to those WTF moments on occasion. In this particular case, it is the devolution of Soundwave. For me, his character was the reason why I liked putting up with Optimus Prime’s endless death and rebirth cycle, the birth of emo (Thanks to Starscream), and those endless quests for energon cubes. So, when the new Soundwave was announced, I knew there were going to be changes. I just didn’t realize the character was going to be a pale robotic mutilation of what he once was. Yes, I understand the need to evolve characters. No, I don’t enjoy it when they are broken.

It’s been a challenge to find the original character in a decent state. So, I turned to someone who knows a lot about toys and toy design. Phil Reed, COO for Steve Jackson Games, is also an expert. If you haven’t checked out BattleGrip.com you should, because he gives the type of reviews that are not only informative, but blunt.

On his recommendation, I picked up this version of Soundwave from Big Bad Toy Store and I couldn’t be happier. So, without further babbling, I present to you… a revived and renewed version of Soundwave, Rumble, and Ratbat.

Encore: #21 Soundblaster is equipped with shoulder-mounted gun, handheld gun, and three missile projectiles, and is accompanied by two new Cassette Warriors, Enemy and Wingthing w/ translucent cassette cases.

Utilizing the original Soundwave mode, Soundblaster features a darker color scheme and a deepened cassette portal which enables him to carry two of his warriors at once. Soundblaster is the result of Soundwave’s final showdown with Blaster, the result of which left both destroyed. Soundwave’s body is blown apart, but the remains are salvaged by his cassette warriors; Scorponok subsequently reconfigures the remnants of Soundwave into Soundblaster. A repaint utilizing the Rumble/Frenzy mold, Enemy is equipped with twin guns. Previously, Enemy was only available as part of radio/headset and (head only) a Transformers Voice Changer. Utilizing the Ratbat mold, Wingthing is equipped with twin guns. Previously serving as the transforming partner of Action Master Soundwave, Wingthing exists to implement brutality and destruction on Soundblaster’s behalf. Among his fellow Decepticons, Wingthing is looped into the general disesteem reserved for Soundblaster.

Now, to learn Japanese…

Mood: DEATH PLAGUE POLLEN DEATH

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: A paltry one and a half.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: walk

In My Ears: Final Fantasy something or other

Game Last Played: Um…

Movie Last Viewed: Johnny English Reloaded

Latest Artistic Project: Cross-stitch

Latest Release: Redwing’s Gambit for Bulldogs! the RPG

Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Revisions and Cut Text – Part 4 of 5

I have about 7 to 10,000 words of cut text that I removed from Redwing’s Gambit during the revisions process. Once I erased Dan Daget’s character, I restructured the flow of the different perspectives and ensured that they read correctly. The biggest reason for the revisions, however, was to reduce any extraneous worldbuilding or plot hooks to keep the pace strong. With this being a novella, that meant minimizing certain aspects and also changing the strength of the relationship between Violet and the security chief to one of hidden, but mutual, feelings for one another. This first bit was altered because the spying robots was less important than Xax or Edna’s kidnapping.

After pressing him for more information, Edna learned Talus’s collection of robots were wired to do all sorts of things. Not only could they clean the ship and make dinner, but they were also excellent spies. Edna was dying to know what Talus was charging for information, but so far he kept that a secret. This may be her first mission, but it was clear someone was paying him a lot of money to keep tabs on the rest of the ship. Mind you, she didn’t care what he did.

Dan, oh Dan, the character that had to be slaughtered on page. *sniffle* This is one of the chapters that was hacked to pieces. The kidnapping required a change of pacing to keep the momentum going through to the end. That meant some of the mystery and explanation had to be reduced in order to keep the suspense happening and the world/character building downplayed. It also dives more into the nanites and the original plot. Yes, I was going to create a fake love triangle, but the challenge with doing that, is that Xax’s life is in danger. I sped up the kidnapping and had her snatched right away in order to escalate that feeling of doom.

Here, for your enjoyment, is a draft of a lost chapter.

A Lost Chapter from Redwing’s Gambit

The medical wing on the Haldis was situated halfway between Cass’s quarters and Talus’s domain in Engineering. Dan didn’t think Violet needed an entire section of the ship to herself, but he wasn’t about to argue with a former high-ranking officer of the Arsubaran military. She was the only crew member he really respected and the only other Arsubaran on board he’d consider mating with. ‘Course, he would never mix business with pleasure. Not to mention, Violet would never let romance get in the way of her research, either. She was married–to her data.

Compared to Cass’s exotic appearance, Violet was a plain, sturdy woman, the kind he imagined growing old with. Her earthy hues closely matched the tone of his brown skin. While his hair was black, hers was as white as Mount Talaana back home. He enjoyed talking to her, but he suspected she didn’t. He always felt like he was interrupting her research. Come to think of it, Dan couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t working: something they had in common.

“Violet? You around?” The waiting room was filled with piles of crates and unmarked boxes. Curious, he opened one of them, but he never had the chance to see what was inside.

“Looking for a boost?” Violet grabbed the box out of his hands. “Didn’t think you were the type.”

Dan stood his ground. He wished she wasn’t all business, but there was nothing he could do or say to convince her to lighten up. As far as he could tell, the doctor hated him. “I’m not. Here for Cass.”

A puzzled look crossed the doctor’s stern features. He tried not to smile; he almost always found Violet more attractive when she was confused. “Probably because it didn’t happen very often,” he scolded himself. Violet didn’t just like to have the answers, she obsessed over them. Naturally, it drove her nuts when she didn’t know what was going on. “She usually comes down here herself. Anything wrong?”

“Our conversation about Syllis gave her a nasty headache.”

“Ah,” Violet nodded grimly. “Follow me. Her medicine’s in the back.”

The pair wandered through a maze of cartons until they reached a leafy green structure; the small enclosure was so high it touched the ceiling, yet sturdy enough that it didn’t collapse. Dan wondered if it had something to do with her research; he suspected the portable lab was military-grade.

Violet’s slender fingers pressed a series of codes into a control panel. The front of the box dissolved as if it was made of thin air.

“Like my lab? Cass has been complaining about headaches for weeks, so I’ve been developing a new vaccine. Tough to spot symptoms of space sickness out here, but headaches are definitely one of the warning signs.” It was obvious Violet preferred her own company to that of the crew. The way she expressed her loyalty to them wasn’t through idle chatter, it was through her work. And he loved her for it. “Get in.”

“Sounds good to me.” Dan couldn’t help but grin. Alone with Doctor Violet Dunn in a little box? Cozy.

Once inside, Violet tapped the side of the box and the door rematerialized. Curious, he examined the expensive equipment; they were trapped together in a highly sophisticated biohazard lab.

“Hey, Doc. Where did you—”

“Shut up, Dan.” Violet’s blue lips were pressed into a thin line and her body was rigid. If he didn’t know any better, she was pissed at him. What in oblivion did he do? “You have no idea why I’m angry, do you?”

“Does it look like I do?” Women. At this point the only thing he could do was keep his mouth shut until she figured out whatever bug crawled up her ass. Dan wasn’t the type to back down from a fight, but he’d rather let Violet have the upper hand. She was his doctor and a former high-ranking member of the Arsubaran military. There was no telling what she’d do to him on her own turf. Was he being a little jumpy? Probably, but the thought did occur to him that he was drugged earlier. He wasn’t the type to take a hit and go down that easily.

After a few minutes, she finally stopped glaring at him. “You want to fill me in, Doc?”

“No need, I guess.” Violet relaxed her stance and leaned against a long table. “I’d like to try something else now. Dan, how would you feel if my life was threatened?”

“That’s easy. I—”

Violet wagged her finger. “No need for words. Just concentrate on your feelings, okay?”

Between the two of them, Dan didn’t know who was acting weirder: Cass or her. Still, he was dying to know what they were keeping from him. Did one of them prank him? “Fine.”

“Let’s try this again. How would you feel if I was dying?”

The thought of her body lying broken and bleeding on the ground made him feel… uncomfortable. He was able to keep most of his emotions in check, but it was difficult to mask the deep ache in his chest.

“Good.” Violet craned her neck and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Now, how would you feel if I kissed you?”

That reaction was a little harder to control. What was she up to anyway? This was not the time to be screwing around.

“I’m not playing at anything, Dan. What I’m doing, is the job you have been.”

Shit. Was she reading his thoughts? By the gods, there weren’t supposed to telepaths on board. Cass would be furious. What could do this? Some kind of new drug? If Violet could read his thoughts, then she knew how he felt. How he really felt. About all of them.

Dan chose his words carefully. Violet may be able to read his mind, but she couldn’t control what came out of his mouth. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you developed one hell of a drug. Nice trick.”

“Oh, it’s no trick. They’re nanites. Illegal, but necessary in this case.”

Dan grimaced. “When’d you start using those things?”

“Right after Twist got on board.”

By Dan’s calculations, that meant she had been reading the crew’s thoughts for weeks. The implications were severe. Violet had a bone to pick with their client, a Ken Reeg who preferred to be called “Vinnie.” Vincent Twist was the new High Saldralla, and it was their job to transport him safely to his new home on Illia. While the Union of the Saldralla had an open government any alien race could hold office in, the Ken Reeg weren’t exactly known for their valor or their political prowess. As far as Dan was concerned, they were an Arsubaran sub-species, born traitors, pirates and thieves.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” Dan asked. “Everyone suspects Twist has some other angle going on here. An elected office on some backwater planet? Please.”

Violet shrugged. “Cass had her reasons. Besides, this lab is a lot more secure than your quarters.”

The news pissed him off. His employer knew there was a security risk and placed her faith in a doctor over the chief of security. Neither one of them had any right to cross that line. It was his responsibility to keep his crew safe and his alone. Why the hell weren’t they letting him do his job? “Hey Doc, my pride’s bruised. Got something that’ll fix that?”

That got to her. On the surface, she wasn’t as emotional as Cass, but he knew Violet was a lot more sensitive that she wanted to be. “No, Dan. There isn’t.”

“Then let’s get on with it,” he said. Maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess if they included him from the beginning. “Who else knows about the nanites?”

“Cass and I are the only ones who’ve taken them. So far, my ruse has worked. Everyone else thinks I’m working on a vaccine, so they don’t suspect we have nanites on board. We’d like to keep it that way.”

“Good idea,” Dan nodded. “What kind of trouble are we in? Personal or professional?”

“Both, probably.”

“Explain, please.” Dan crossed his arms. “You know, for your chief of security.”

Violet punched up a data file on her computer. “Right after we picked up Mr. Twist, Cass received this message. Take a look.”

A bizarre set of yellow characters blazed across the holoscreen. Either it was written in a language Dan wasn’t familiar with or it was encrypted. “What does it say?”

She pressed another button. “Look again.”

The letters shifted to form phrases written in Standard Galactic, the galaxy’s most common language. Untangled, the message read: Curse the Haldis and its crew. You’ll never make it to Illia alive.

“Well,” Dan said thoughtfully. “We’ve gotten threats before. What’s so special about this one?”

“I traced its point-of-origin. The message came from somewhere on board this ship. Ever since Cass got it, things haven’t been quite right. Small things like a frayed wire here, a missing sock there. Pranks, too. At first it was nothing, but then the hyperdrive broke–”

Dan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “We can’t jump to hyperspace and you couldn’t be bothered to tell me? What’s wrong with you?”

Violet slapped him hard across the face. “Don’t you dare, Dan Daget. You may be chief of security, but you are not in charge here. Cass is. She knows how you feel about her, so she ordered me to clear your name before we asked for your help. Besides, from what I hear, you’ve had your own problems to deal with.”

“Am I the only one on this ship who doesn’t have any secrets left?” Dan didn’t bother to rub his jaw. He refused to let her know just how much she hurt him.

Violet ignored him and continued like nothing ever happened. “As I was saying, Cass believes someone has been sabotaging our mission, and she thinks they’re on this ship. It could be one of the crew, or it could be a stow-a-way.”

For a split second, Dan wondered if Cass was giving into her paranoia, but then he realized she had good cause. The Haldis had a fair amount of artillery and could maneuver well enough, but it wasn’t equipped for a fight, which was one of the reasons why Redwing Securities claimed they rented it in the first place. To the powers that be, the Haldis was the only way their crew could safely transport the High Saldralla without drawing attention to the newly-elected politician. Well, that and the fact they were flying in a low trafficked part of the disc-shaped galaxy. With their hyperdrive broken, it’d be several days before they’d reach an outpost or a populated area.

“I wish Cass would let me deal with this. All this running around behind everyone’s back,” Dan said, shaking his head. “I don’t like it.”

“Do you remember the last time she did?” Violet snickered. “We lost half our crew, damaged our ship and lost the cargo. Your little escapade cost Redwing Securities a fortune. Why do you think our route was pre-approved this time?”

True to protocol, Red Wing Securities pre-programmed a safe route and flew a couple of decoys just to be on the safe side. Dan was still not convinced headquarters was capable of dealing with the dangers out in the blackest reaches of space. Most of their navigators were math geeks obsessed with calculations. If the numbers added up, then their flight trajectories were approved.

“That was not my fault. How was I supposed to know we crashed a Ryjyllian ceremony?”

The doctor waved him off. “That’s all in the past now, but it is part of the reason why Cass decided to take matters into her own hands. This job requires a little more finesse, especially now that we’ve lost contact with headquarters.”

For whatever reason, the Haldis stopped receiving messages from Base not too long ago. Their pilots, Splish and Oogle, reassured them communications would be back up and running in no time. Splish explained that an asteroid belt was interfering with their communication, one that Redwing Securities didn’t account for.

Dan grunted. “Why now? Why this mission?” If he could find out what the attacker’s motives were, he might be able to set a trap for them. Right now, there were too many angles to explore. “You think these mechanical failures and my pranks are connected?”

“That’s a good possibility, but it’s hard to say.” The doctor shrugged. “Other than you, me and Cass, the rest of the crew is still pretty green. They don’t have the same history together we do, so it’s hard to tell. And Twist? The message doesn’t even mention him by name. That’s odd, don’t you think? There’s no ransom note, no demands, no nothing.”

“Oogle and Splish were both recommended by Redwing Securities, so it can’t be either one of them. They may not look like much, but those two Tetsuashans could fly this piece of crap through a Devalkamanchan mine field. Talus? He may be an arrogant Dolom, but he wouldn’t do anything rash. He’s got way too much pride for that.”

Violet shook her snowy head. “What concerns me is not the mechanical stuff. It’s the other kind of sabotage, Dan. The ugly kind. The one that can’t be fixed.”

“Come again?” As far as Dan was concerned, the only way to deal with a saboteur was to kill them before they murdered you. “You’re ex-military and, if the rumors are right, you served in that war against the Urseminites, too. A couple of cracked seals and this ship–this civilian ship–could spin off into the black, never to be heard from again.”

“What about broken trust? Is that in your tactics manual?” Dan could feel the anger coming off of her in waves. Locks of her shoulder-length hair were starting to curl, too, a sign Violet was losing her calm. “You sit in your quarters and do your little push-ups and your crunches, but you have no idea what’s been going on outside your quarters.”

Dan slammed his fist on the table and inched his body closer to hers. “You like what you see, don’t you?”

Violet grabbed the back of his neck and hissed in his ear. “Someone is sabotaging this crew, Mr. Daget. Whoever it is knows us intimately. They know all our weaknesses, our strengths: what we want, what we don’t.” Pulling him close, the doctor revealed her worst fear. “Don’t you see? Our enemy is trying to crack this crew apart, bit by bloody bit. We’ll never make it to Illia if we can’t trust each other to work our way through this.”

“Doc, I don’t buy that. Do you? That’s kind of extreme.”

“Just look what they’ve done already. A couple of pranks and you fly off the handle so fast you’ve alienated everyone else on board. Me? I can’t even talk to my assistant let alone ask her to help me with my research. That doesn’t even cover half of what’s happened to Cass or Oogle.”

An uncomfortable thought wormed its way into Dan’s mind. Maybe that’s why someone was playing pranks on him. To get him to come unglued, so he’d snap on somebody else, like Cass or…Violet. “I’m sorry, Doc. I…I didn’t think…”

“No, you didn’t.” Violet ruffled his hair and let him go. “Just like every other security chief I’ve ever met. But I don’t think I can blame you this time. This client of ours has everyone stressed out beyond belief. He’s been constantly badgering Cass with questions and complaints. The jerk can’t even be bothered to talk to her in person, he’s using his robot as a personal courier. I’ll be happy to get rid of him.”

Dan rubbed his jaw. “I need to think things over. Figure out what to do.”

Violet placed a hand on his shoulder. “Not this time, Dan. Like I said, you don’t have enough experience to deal with something like this on your own.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

She shot him a stern look. “We have to work closely on this one. You, me, and Cass.”

He grimaced. The rest of the crew would probably be even more suspicious if they spent too much time together. “Why can’t we just use those nanite things? They did a number on me.”

“Unfortunately, the nanites don’t work like that. You have to build them up in your system, otherwise your body convinces itself you’ve got a nasty virus and it attacks them. The ones I took already wore off. Cass is really the only patient I’ve had who can use them effectively.”

Dan decided to let that one go. He wanted to point out Cass wasn’t all blood and guts, but changed his mind. “What about that assistant of yours? Estra?”

“Edna. From what I can tell, she’s way too prudish to insert herself into our relationship. Besides, she’s a little preoccupied right now.”

“Relationship?” Dan rolled his eyes. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Honestly, it was Cass’s idea and it’s not a bad one. Long trip? Deep space? To the rest of the crew, it’ll sound perfectly normal for three good-looking, lonely Arsubarans like ourselves to have our own thing going on. Soon as the dust settles, we have a big nasty break up, and no one’s the wiser.”

“Let me get this straight, Doc. You’re saying we use ourselves as bait?”

“Why not?” Violet folded her arms across her chest. “Gives us an excuse to compare notes and we can pretend to have a little fun while we figure things out. How’s that sound?”

It took every ounce of self-discipline Dan had not to tell her the truth. While both Arsubarans knew what was in his heart, he wasn’t sure he had tight control over his emotions.

No one else on board knew his true feelings for Cass–or Violet–for that matter, so on the surface the plan was sound. He also had to give both of them credit. When they read his thoughts, they handled the truth pretty well, like a professional should. Any other boss might have fired him where he stood, but not Cass. Maybe one day he’d explain to both of them why he was afraid of cyborgs, but now was not the time.

“If it’ll get the job done, then I’m happy to oblige. Only…”

“Yes, Mr. Daget?” Her eyes fluttered.

“When this is all over, I want a raise. I don’t think sleeping with my boss was covered in the employee manual.”

Violet threw her head back and laughed. Her white, frazzled hair was finally starting to straighten out. “Don’t tell Cass that. I think you’re the only one who hasn’t slept with her.”

“Great,” Dan said without a trace of humor in his voice. “I’ll try not to disappoint her.”

After pressing a few buttons, a door appeared toward the front of the lab. Dan spun Violet around and kissed her softly on the hand, just in case anyone might be spying on them. At least, that’s what he told himself.

“Cass’s medicine?”

“I almost forgot,” Violet said, plucking a few vials out of a nearby drawer. “One shot of this and she’ll be skipping down to dinner. Just be sure to tell her I’m keeping her on the low dosage.”

“I will.” Dan pocketed the nanites. At some point they were going to have a nice, little chat about what lengths the doctor went to get them. Even though Cass claimed to need them, they were a security risk. Besides, there was no way he was going to put thousands of little robots in his system unless it was absolutely necessary–especially since he had no idea where they came from.

‘Course, if Dan couldn’t figure out who the hell was playing pranks on him, he just might. Opening the door, he gave her a wink. “Guess I’ll see you at dinner, Doc?”

Violet poked her head out of the door and smiled at him. His heart fluttered.

“It’s a date.”

Other Parts to this Series

Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Easter Eggs – Part 5 of 5 will be published on April 23, 2012.
You are reading Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Revisions and Cut Text – Part 4 of 5 .
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Structure and Plot – Part 3 of 5
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Characters and Treatment – Part 2 of 5
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Research and Background Part 1 of 5

About Redwing’s Gambit: Redwing’s Gambit, the first novella for the Bulldogs! RPG, debuted on Monday, March 26th in digital. This story was written by Monica Valentinelli and will be published by Galileo Games, creator of the Bulldogs! RPG. This RPG was originally published with a d20 system in 2005. It has since been updated and released in a new edition which employs the Fate mechanic in 2011.

And The Writer’s Life Goes On

If you haven’t been reading the internet news about e-books and price wars lately, you may not have heard about the growing concerns caused by Amazon’s behavior, which is aptly described by Charles Stross in this article What Amazon’s ebook Strategy Means. There was also a suit filed against the big six publishers; you can read about that on Wired.com in Bigger Than Agency, Bigger Than E-Books: The Case Against Apple and Publishers and other places.

None of this surprises me, but then again, none of it affects me or my mad plots either. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that there isn’t any stability in an author’s career. Doesn’t matter if you write short stories or scripts, articles or engineering manuals, comics or role-playing games. The money, and the potential to earn or publish, is always in flux. The only constant is the Work.

Mood: Plagued with allergies. So… Not sane.

Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Two.

Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Walkin’ in mah boots.

Yesterday’s Projects: Redacted for several months.

In My Ears: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Game Last Played: Dungeon Siege III

Movie Last Viewed: Blood the Last Vampire

Book Last Read: Redacted for several months.

Latest Artistic Project: Cross-stitch

Latest Release: Redwing’s Gambit for Bulldogs! the RPG

Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Structure and Plot – Part 3 of 5

After I had an approved story and treatment, I went to work writing the first and second draft. My inclination was not to offer one perspective, but to offer several. A mystery just did not work from an observer’s point-of-view because I had a lot of characters and they’re all not physically located in the same place on the ship. The logistics of having Dan sneak around like a ninja were not only boring — but creepy and Clueish. So, I added in other perspectives straight off the bat. I knew multiple viewpoints (there are three) was outside of how I normally write, but I felt it was necessary for a good story.

Now, having said that, multiple viewpoints requires something else: your ability as a reader to like the characters. There’s a reason why Dan Daget didn’t survive the final cut. *Yawn.* Since this was the first novella I wrote with a three narrator structure, I didn’t go into the story guns a-blazin’ and write it based on a solid frame. The structure was reorganized during the revisions process. At first, what I needed to do, was simply focus on the story and the viewpoints. The other niggly bits, like consistency, physics, and the like, came much later.

The three perspectives you’ll read are: Fang, a psychotic teddy bear who’s technically not supposed to be on board, Xax (a.k.a. Edna Keene) a young recruit who gets kidnapped, and Maarl, the last character I added. Maarl replaced Dan as Chief of Security; he’s a former slave and his alien race resembles lions. Maarl came last. The first drafts had Dan Daget at the helm, but he wound up being such a jerk.

Now, telling part of the story from Xax’s perspective really worked out well because you got to experience what happened to her. If I say anymore, I’m going to include spoilers and that I don’t want to do. Instead, I’m going shift gears and address how the plot evolved.

Writing a mystery enabled me to hone in on the differences between the characters and introduce new fictional elements to Bulldogs! that weren’t in the corebook. I built some layers into the plot and the characters because, in my mind, readers are smart. You’re going to figure out the whodunnit part faster than I could write it, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have fun leading you through the story and the world.

Since this is very much a whodunnit type of a tale, I knew straight off the bat I did not want to wind up with a Scooby Doo moment where GO TEAM SCOOBY catches up with the evil villain and has a long dialogue that explains away everything. I call this technique “the tell” and I despise it. It’s natural to gravitate toward this, too, and I did my utmost best not to have a Scooby (or a Scooby snack) moment. While there was a reveal, primarily because it had to happen due to multiple viewpoints and with the way things went down, I didn’t put enough explanation in my first draft and had to tweak it some for the final.

First things first. I decided who the villain of said sordid tale was before I wrote a single scene. Had to. If I don’t know what’s going on, then certainly you won’t! Only… In Redwing’s Gambit there’s a certain amount of expectations you might have based on the alien races involved. In the game, the Ken Reeg are the McSlime-balls. Anyone who knows Bulldogs! understands not only this, but a little something about the other alien races, too. Did this factor into how the plot was structured? *whistles innocently*

To add in layers to the plot, I focused on character backstory and motivation. I really wanted (I’m sure you’re getting this deep-seated desire by now…) to help you get to know these characters to care about them. Sure, it’s a science fiction story, but I also wanted to create characters that could go onto other things; there’s a possibility there may be other adventures, game material, or stories with this crew.

On the ship, everybody’s got something they don’t want the other character to know about. Everybody’s got some secret they either want to risk, are blackmailed into giving, or feel obligated to confess.

Still, it all goes back to the main plot. Otherwise, I’d be telling you non-stop how cool this particular character was, and what’s the fun in that?

Other Parts to this Series

Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Easter Eggs – Part 5 of 5 will be published on April 23, 2012.
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Revisions and Cut Text – Part 4 of 5 will be published on April 16, 2012.
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Structure and Plot – Part 3 of 5 will be published on April 9, 2012.
You are reading Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Characters and Treatment – Part 2 of 5
Constructing Redwing’s Gambit: Research and Background Part 1 of 5

About Redwing’s Gambit: Redwing’s Gambit, the first novella for the Bulldogs! RPG, debuted on Monday, March 26th in digital. This story was written by Monica Valentinelli and will be published by Galileo Games, creator of the Bulldogs! RPG. This RPG was originally published with a d20 system in 2005. It has since been updated and released in a new edition which employs the Fate mechanic in 2011.