D.F. Monk

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December 2014


D.F. Monk claims to be an exile from a parallel dimension. He lives with his partner and their child while he crafts "memoirs" of his lost home, all the while searching the globe for the one portal that might take him back. "Tales of Yhore" is his first published work on this plane of reality.

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D.F. Monk Being my own boss... except during wage negotiations.
D.F. Monk Write more, aspire less.
Average rating: 4.83 · 6 ratings · 2 reviews · 1 distinct work
Tales of Yhore: The Chronic...

4.83 avg rating — 6 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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Between the Darkness and Dust (Fate's Crucible, #2) by T.B. Schmid A new Lions of the Empire book is out.

The authors tell me it is quite good. If you read my reviews, then you'll know I'm generally soft on criticism, so I'll leave that up to you kind readers out there.

>monk Read more of this blog post »
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Published on March 20, 2018 07:12 • 38 views • Tags: between-the-darkness-and-dust, fantasy, fate-s-crucible, r-wade-hodges, t-b-schmid

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More of D.F.'s books…
“Wynter's Pass was a picturesque region in the north of Vohlfhein, where the Bleak Hills eventually collapsed into the Frozen Sea. From the back of Mr. Buckles, who had been on a slow trot since sunrise, Monch watched the light glisten off of the frozen branches of the evergreens. As the sun warmed the frozen ground, sending the evening's frost into retreat, Monch absorbed the splendor of it all and wondered how expensive the local real estate must be around here. He then contemplated attempting to find an agent that would represent his interests well.

"This land is such a spectacular wonder," the Lion of Ahriman declared. "It would be very much sought after if they could just do something about the bears, the White Orts, the wolves, the bloodthirsty cannibals, the snow manapés, the frost wizards, the northern bandit gangs, the dire lynxes, the similarly sounding but not related pygmy bloodthirsty cannibals, the demon possessed yaks, the dead-soul animated trees, the..." Monch paused for a moment.

"It just occurred to me that this land is really not safe at all. It seems almost everything in it wants to kill me," the Templar admitted.”
D.F. Monk, Tales of Yhore: The Chronicles of Monch

“Monch was on no simple retreat. The journey he had plotted for himself was much longer, and took him many buckets away from Appollon to Angarr's Sorrow, the land of fetid bogs in southeastern Sarthiss. This was a world far away from everything he knew... from everyone he knew. Granted, the list of people he knew was exceptionally short, especially since Monch was horrible with names and only slightly less horrible with faces. Regardless, he did not wish to accidentally advertise his inexperience to anyone he might possibly know, which is why he travelled so far afield.

There were ruins in the swamps, ruins hidden under years of neglect and heavy with decay. Things lurked in those ruins, inhuman beasts with forbidden hungers. He intended to use the dangers of the swamps as the whetstone that would hone his abilities to a razor-keen edge. Monch would test his blade against and come back all the stronger...

...or dead.

No... that wasn't right. Given the fact that he was immortal, death really wasn't an option. So then, he would come back stronger...

...or something something horrible. Monch decided to fill in those particular details later on, when he had time to ponder his autobiography at length. He would tidy up that particular idiom later.”
D.F. Monk, Tales of Yhore: The Chronicles of Monch

“Wynter's Pass was a picturesque region in the north of Vohlfhein, where the Bleak Hills eventually collapsed into the Frozen Sea. From the back of Mr. Buckles, who had been on a slow trot since sunrise, Monch watched the light glisten off of the frozen branches of the evergreens. As the sun warmed the frozen ground, sending the evening's frost into retreat, Monch absorbed the splendor of it all and wondered how expensive the local real estate must be around here. He then contemplated attempting to find an agent that would represent his interests well.

"This land is such a spectacular wonder," the Lion of Ahriman declared. "It would be very much sought after if they could just do something about the bears, the White Orts, the wolves, the bloodthirsty cannibals, the snow manapés, the frost wizards, the northern bandit gangs, the dire lynxes, the similarly sounding but not related pygmy bloodthirsty cannibals, the demon possessed yaks, the dead-soul animated trees, the..." Monch paused for a moment.

"It just occurred to me that this land is really not safe at all. It seems almost everything in it wants to kill me," the Templar admitted.”
D.F. Monk, Tales of Yhore: The Chronicles of Monch

“Monch was on no simple retreat. The journey he had plotted for himself was much longer, and took him many buckets away from Appollon to Angarr's Sorrow, the land of fetid bogs in southeastern Sarthiss. This was a world far away from everything he knew... from everyone he knew. Granted, the list of people he knew was exceptionally short, especially since Monch was horrible with names and only slightly less horrible with faces. Regardless, he did not wish to accidentally advertise his inexperience to anyone he might possibly know, which is why he travelled so far afield.

There were ruins in the swamps, ruins hidden under years of neglect and heavy with decay. Things lurked in those ruins, inhuman beasts with forbidden hungers. He intended to use the dangers of the swamps as the whetstone that would hone his abilities to a razor-keen edge. Monch would test his blade against and come back all the stronger...

...or dead.

No... that wasn't right. Given the fact that he was immortal, death really wasn't an option. So then, he would come back stronger...

...or something something horrible. Monch decided to fill in those particular details later on, when he had time to ponder his autobiography at length. He would tidy up that particular idiom later.”
D.F. Monk, Tales of Yhore: The Chronicles of Monch

“From Bralloc’s mounted position he could see over the heads of most of his men, but the thickening darkness of evening coupled with the storm made it impossible to see more than a few yards. He jerked at the reins and swung his horse around, pushing into the crowd. The large grey charger was nearly as mean-spirited as her owner; she snorted and bucked her head, then nipped, stomped and shoved her way through, giving every indication that she was enjoying herself.

His men drew to either side, and the crawling excitement in Bralloc’s belly became an angry swarm of insects.
The scout – the ballsy woman whose name he could never remember - stood several paces away. Bralloc paid her no heed, however, and the mixture of nervousness, relief and fear on her face didn’t even register in his mind: his eyes were locked on the captive at her side. His lips twitched into a smile and he licked them, like a ghoul eyeing a fresh corpse. He forced himself to move slowly, deliberately – sucking each individual drop of marrow from the bones of his anticipation..."

-From 'Feral”
TB Schmid

“Maynard, what have you been doing with yourself?" Odegar Taumber asked as the slow moving librarian shuffled from the stairwell to the main floor. Casselle caught sight of Temos and Raabel and motioned for Jaksen to deposit the books on a nearby and conveniently clean table. He did so and the squadmates reunited, just out of earshot of the Captain.
"I see you two found him," Raabel said. "We've been back for some time. I guess he's as slow as he looks?"
"Casselle found him," Jaksen replied. "And he's both slow and rude. I'm sure he's important enough, but seems like he was in no real danger to begin with."
"I took a look out of the windows while we were searching for him," Temos said. "It doesn't look like it's calmed down much out there. I'd hate to think of trying to move him through an angry crowd. He doesn't look nimble enough to sneak by, either."
"If we weren't in this damned armor, I'd just carry him," Raabel said. Coming from someone else, it might have been considered a boast, but Raabel usually didn't say things he wasn't sure he was capable of doing. Casselle pictured the old man wailing in protest, thrown over Raabel's shoulder and being forced to bounce along like a sack of potatoes. Raabel was right about the armor, though: it was clumsy and ill-fitting. It was obvious that it had not been altered for them, and none more obvious than on Casselle. Her broad shoulders were a boon, but even bound, her breasts had proved problematic to find a properly sized chestplate from a stockpile that had been made exclusively for men. They had settled on a piece that was just slightly too large, having previously been worn by a heavyset Templar from a time before.
In thinking of it, she pondered Maynard's earlier words.
"He called me a boy," she said. "A fat young boy."
Her squadmates took a step back, shocked.
"And you did not correct him?" Raabel asked.
"Or worse?" Jaksen asked.
"To be fair," Temos said after a moment, "he is very old. It is entirely possible he has lost his will to live.”
R. Wade Hodges, Beyond the Burning Sea

“I opened the bag of Oreos and commenced my training, bulking up with one Oreo after another. I washed them down with swigs from the bottle of scotch, as a real man should. When I was tired of the Oreos, after about the thirtieth, I took out a cigarette and tried like hell to give myself lung cancer.”
J.R. Rain, Dark Horse

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