Doug Ward's Blog, page 76

Ward's Words #101

I like going to a new Walmart when the set-up is backwards.  You know, the foods are to the left and the home goods are to the right.  It’s like being on a European vacation.  Cruising isles on the opposite side.  I’ll bet if you flush the toilets the water would spin in the opposite direction.  It’s pure magic.

Ward's Words #100

I applied for a new, job but they wouldn’t accept my diploma from Hogwarts.  It’s not like Stark Industry will amount to anything anyway.

Ward's Words #99

My family wouldn't let me listen to the Partridge Family cause their hippy freak looks and hypnotic hard rock was sure to poison my mind.

Ward's Words #97

I wonder if Hasheem Thabeet looks up to his parents? 

Ward's Words #95

It’s kind of freaky to google search yourself and look at the pictures of others with your name.  What a menagerie of freaks.  I’m the pretty one and shall be their god someday!

Ward's Words #93

I'm all about supporting my wife in whatever she wants to do, but why does it have to be world dominance. Now, I have a basement full of mutant warriors and they drank all of my 7 Up.  I thought I was the only one on the planet who likes that stuff, but apparently mutants love it too.  Did I mention I have a septic tank...

Ward's Words #91

It isn't that the idea of a Sistine Chapel paint by numbers seems kind of wrong.  It's the fact that you have to lay on your back to paint it that makes it so awkward.

Ward's Words #90

I'm not saying the college I went to was bad.  I'm just saying that Jenga is not an acceptable part of an engineering curriculum.

Ward's Words #87

If you checked your AOL account today, admit it, you’re seriously old… and probably living under a rock.  With dial-up and a Hotmail account.

Ward's Words #86

What kind of communist wants BBQ pizza?  Isn't pepperoni good enough for you hipsters?