Doug Ward's Blog, page 73
February 5, 2015
Ward's Words #162
Every time I visit Canada I notice how European it feels. Maybe it's their language or it could be driving on the other side of the road, it always amazes me. Speaking of driving, they are some of the worst motorists I've ever encountered. Not only are they all over the road but they frequently honk their horns or shake a fist for no apparent reason. I just chalk this hockey-like violent behavior up to having an overly long winter.
February 4, 2015
Ward's Words #161
My new line of scented candles aren't really selling well. Burnt toast and wet dog are among the worst, but I really dropped the ball with week old sushi.
February 3, 2015
Ward's Words #158
What ever happened to Count Chocula? Was his unnatural life ended by Van Helsing or did he succumb to the FDA?
February 2, 2015
Ward's Words #156
After watching the Super Bowl I noticed my Select Comfort bed was slightly deflated. Coincidence?
February 1, 2015
Ward's Words #155
I accidentally switched yogurt brands to Activia. Now, I have the digestive system of a teenage girl.
Ward's Words #152
If Bigfoot are just another branch of hominids, then what do we do with them. Maybe we teach them, but I really pity the school principal who has to discipline them.
January 28, 2015
Ward's Words #151
If your wardrobe includes having a good hoodie, you need a fashion consultant.
January 27, 2015
Ward's Words #149
I wonder who was the first person to look at a cotton plant and think, “Hey, I should make a shirt out of that?”
January 26, 2015
Ward's Words #147
I understand Peter Jackson is going to remake the Harry Potter books. Legolas will only appear briefly.
January 24, 2015
Ward's Words #144
Why is it when someone says no offense, it always winds up being offensive.
