Doug Ward's Blog, page 71
March 2, 2015
Ward's Words #202
I know why ancient civilizations died out. They spent decades building dirt piles to the dead and the smart ones just got up and walked away.
March 1, 2015
Ward's Words #200
I think Bigfoot is jerking us around. I think he’s wearing a huge gorilla suit and timing his visits for when we aren't quite ready for a clear video taping. That way it looks like some kind of hoax.
February 26, 2015
Ward's Words #199
If the IRS has all of our tax information, why do we have to file again?
February 25, 2015
Ward's Words #197
I thought Denny’s had really become classy. I gave my jacket to the coat check girl only to find out I'd handed it to a woman in the first booth. I want my coat back!!!
February 22, 2015
Ward's Words #195
Big business, if my call is so important to you why does it take 45 minutes for you to answer it?
February 21, 2015
Ward's Words #192
My high school guidance counselor said with my intelligence and skill set, I would have no problem gaining employment as either a circus oddity or the guy who gets shot out of a cannon.
February 20, 2015
Ward's Words #190
I am watching a movie about the zombie apocalypse set during the Civil War. The weird thing is I’m so irked about the historical inaccuracies…
February 19, 2015
Ward's Words #188
I think Head and Shoulders is really marketing it’s shampoo toward guys with both head and back hair.
February 18, 2015
Ward's Words #187
Why aren’t space ships more spacious?
February 17, 2015
Ward's Words #185
Back in my day, all moms were secretly training us for the zombie apocalypse. Think about it. Eat everything on your plate showed us we can eat foods we hate if we have to. Go outside and play gave us a brisk 12 hour aerobic exercise session every day. I’m not sure about that whole brush your teeth thing because I plan on losing my toothbrush the first day of the apocalypse. Just call me fuzzy teeth.
