Doug Ward's Blog, page 69
March 26, 2015
Ward's Words #243
I found Star Wars very misleading. At no point was there a war between stars.
March 25, 2015
Ward's Words #241
We call it a dissection when we cut open a frog, but we use the term autopsy for us humans; or in my case murder…
March 24, 2015
Ward's Words #239
I live far enough from the nuclear power plant that I'd probably just become a mutant. With my luck a stink bug will be climbing up my arm and zap, our genetic material will be melded together. At least I'll be able to avoid crowds, or they'd avoid me.
March 23, 2015
Ward's Words #236
I don't want to say my doctor makes you wait for long spells, but his waiting room doubles as a bed and breakfast.
March 22, 2015
Ward's Words #235
Driving would be so nice if everyone else would stay off the road.
March 21, 2015
Ward's Words #232
I came across some spilled cat litter in the pet store today, and let’s just say I had to go. They didn’t seem to buy it when I told them it wasn’t me. I guess it could’ve been the toilet paper stuck on top...
March 19, 2015
Ward's Words #230
You know you’re in a sleazy Italian restaurant when Spaghettios are on the menu.
March 18, 2015
Ward's Words #228
I thought I was buying a historical home till I found out my new house was built with Lincoln Logs… Talk about deceptive advertising.
March 17, 2015
Ward's Words #227
I should have known I wouldn’t get too far, when I read the owners manual for my new electric car and found out it takes 2 AA batteries.
March 16, 2015
Ward's Words #225
The only thing I don't like about crumb cake is the crumbs.
