Doug Ward's Blog, page 54
October 20, 2015
Ward's Words #542
The best thing about the zombie apocalypse is no baths. HEY!!! I went swimming two days ago. That aught to hold me for at least another day.
October 19, 2015
Ward's Words #541
I like to drive at night with my lights off. I call it stealth mode. Sure I do have a slight collision problem, but I just can't get past how cool it is calling it stealth mode.
October 18, 2015
Ward's Words #538
Why waste time on awful tasting energy drinks in the morning. For your next breakfast meal eat chocolate. Get your caffeine the great tasting way.
October 14, 2015
Ward's Words #336
With all of the mermaids in the ocean you’d think it would be tidier.
October 12, 2015
Ward's Words #534
I wish Nick Fury would leave me alone. I’m not joining the Avengers. I’m already in a group. We call ourselves the Surrenders. We’re not so much heroes, but we do give up quickly.
October 11, 2015
Ward's Words #532
I love it when guys, who are watching a movie about a man who gains super powers from being hit by a radioactive spider, complain of something not being real enough.
October 10, 2015
Ward's Words #531
I like to leave my grass long. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t want to cut it. It’s because I love the thrill of tiptoeing through the poop minefield while cleaning up after my dog.
October 9, 2015
October 8, 2015
Ward's Words #528
The new Energizer batteries use 4% recycled batteries. I wonder how much energy it takes to recycle them. I guess 4% really doesn't impress me. Would you eat a hamburger with 4% recycled meat. Ok, maybe that was a bad example, but can you see where we are going. I mean, how many people are duped by their claim of recycling.
October 6, 2015
Ward's Words #527
I don’t understand why people say, “Have fun,” when they hear I’m going on a vacation. Didn’t they think that thought had already occurred to me. “Oh, I never thought of that. I could combine my vacation with some fun.”
