Doug Ward's Blog, page 49

Ward's Words #640

I like to go to the bank and wander around looking at stuff. Eventually, someone comes over to me and asks, "Can I help you?"  I always respond with, "No, I'm just browsing. 

Ward's Words #638

Being at the magnetic North Pole would be weird.  If you were giving directions they'd always start out with, "Go south..."

Ward's Words #636

My GPS must be in calculus class because it’s always recalculating.

Ward's Words #635

My school was so small that we actually had a one man band. 

Ward's Words #632

Why did Casper get all bent out of shape when I refused to be his friend.  He said he was gonna cut me.  Friendly ghost my butt!!!

Ward's Words #630

I don't want to say my technology is out of date but the vehicle on my GPS is a covered wagon. 

Ward's Words #628

For my birthday, a friend of mine brought me a long silver pole. I know what you're thinking. "Aren't you afraid someone might steal such a valuable gift?"  Well, no. Luckily I have a pole vault. 

Ward's Words #628

I’m sick and tired of scooping poop.  The next dog breed I’m getting is of the cartoon variety. 

Ward's Words #625

Just when you start to get over how creepy KFC commercials are Burger King rolls out their big, plastic headed King. How cereal killer creepy is he. I'm having nightmares here people.

Ward's Words #624

Ward's Words #624  I just don't think Kentucky Fried Chicken gets it. Sure the first Colonel was way too creepy but the second is just a little less so. Hey KFC. Maybe having an old p-fashioned, southern, white cracker hawking your chicken is just a bad (creepy) idea in the 21st century.  Just saying.