Doug Ward's Blog, page 45
March 13, 2016
Ward's Words #720
So, I'm doing some research for my zombie book. You know, Googling things like, "How well do human bodies burn." Stuff like that. Well, to make a long story short. The fine people at Homeland Security have no sense of humor. At least they didn't tase me like last time. Then again, I was being a little salty.
March 11, 2016
Ward's Words #719
It's pretty sad when you think something is an anachronism in your childhood photo but it just turns out to be a Walkman.
March 10, 2016
Ward's Words #717
All you people who've called me a hoarder are going to be so sorry when platform shoes make a comeback. I wonder if the goldfish are still alive.
March 9, 2016
Ward's Words #714
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that death and breath sound so much alike. How about a mint?
March 8, 2016
Ward's Words #713
I get officially cured of March Madness when Pitt loses.
March 7, 2016
Ward's Words #710
Sure I'm a big spender. I have so much money that I don't return the carts at Aldi.
March 6, 2016
Ward's Words #709
Sadly, the most used app on my phone is the fart app. I thought my smart phone would rub off on me.
March 5, 2016
Ward's Words #707
While trimming my ear hair my grooming tool’s battery died. I only had my right ear done, so I wrapped the left one in a bandage and went to work. It wouldn’t be so bad but I’m an art teacher, so the nickname Van Gogh kind of stuck.
March 4, 2016
Ward's Words #704
I think calling a generation “The Greatest Generation” is a bit bold. Especially if the present generation could possibly have to deal with a Trump presidency. They’d have to be better than great to make it through that.
March 3, 2016
Ward's Words #703
What do they do at Mc Donald's if a kid gets caught in one of there playgrounds tubes? Do they have a long prod? A plunger? Or is Liquid Plumber appropriate for this situation.
