Doug Ward's Blog, page 4

Ward's Words #1115

You might be goth if you cry during Tim Burton films.

Ward's Words #1113

You might be goth if you think the Amityville Horror house is a unique opportunity at a fixer-upper.

Ward's Words #1111

If Wolverines can regenerate from any would then what happens if he gets his finger cut off?  Are there now two Wolverines. When Deadpool got ripped in half by Juggernaut why didn’t that create two Deadpools?

Ward's Words #1108

I asked my barber for a Kim Jong-un. I'm no longer allowed in his shop. 

Ward's Words #1106

Never try to do origami with a folding table. 

Ward's Words #1005

I thought of entering the next Olympic Games but a little auto-correct later and I find myself circumcised swimming.

eBook Sale!!!

My publisher, Smashwords, is having a sale. Many of my books are free (the price drops when you look in your cart). Go have a peek. http://ow.ly/brFL30kOjIf

Ward's Words #1103

Just think for a moment.  If Sleeping Beauty was a drooler, she’d have been snoozing in a lake of her own saliva.  That would have made quite a moist kiss for her Prince Charming.

Ward's Words #1100

I must have some really seedy friends.  One recently asked me to go fishing with him.  I grabbed my gear while he brought a computer.  I think he meant the “ph” kind…

Ward's Words #1098

I just noticed that every time I say something good about myself I qualify it with something like, “For a guy my age.”