Doug Ward's Blog, page 12

Ward's Words #1150

I wonder what those nimble Sleestak’s, from The Land of the Lost, hunted? Sloths?

Ward's Words #1148

The Witch-king of Angmar, also known as the Lord of the Nazgûl and the Black Captain, served as Sauron's second in command for over 4000 years. A fearsome warrior of incredible power simply lets a virtually untrained woman slide a sword into him without attempting to block it?

Ward's Words #1147

My new MySpace account will make my domination of social media complete!!!  Bwahahaha

Ward's Words #1145

I wonder where the fine people at Webster’s look when they need to check the spelling of a word?

Ward's Words #1143

I never told anyone but I have a gift. I can psychically tell when someone has to go to the bathroom. I call it ESPeeing. It’s really more of a burden than a gift.

Ward's Words #1141

My idea for a granite toilet seat sure looked good but it left the public kind of cold.

Ward's Words #1138

Making muffins on the grill really isn’t panning out.  Although, they do get a nice beefy taste.

Ward's Words #1137

While going through the grocery line I bought some gum.  I didn’t notice it was Nicorette.  Now, I’m up to three packs a day.

Ward's Words #1135

Why do people decorate their bathrooms like it’s the beach?  They must not be vacationing the same places I am.

Ward's Words #1132

A week after my colonoscopy and I find a wristwatch in the toilet. I’m not sure whether the doctor lost it or gave me a prize but they’re not getting it back.