Doug Ward's Blog, page 11

Ward's Words #1172

At my height, I’m trying to ingest any and all meats with growth hormones in them.

Ward's Words #1170

Back in Jr. High, why did the lunch ladies all look so good on pizza Friday with chocolate milk and potato chips?

Ward's Words #1168

While watching the first Avengers movie, I noticed that everyone in Germany spoke English. 

Ward's Words #1166

Wii sports should be added to the Olympics.

Ward's Words #1164

My wife wants a button added to eBay that allows you to communicate with other people who are bidding on the same item. That way she can tell them such things as, “I’ll cut you if you bid again,” or, “I’m outside your house right now, so if you outbid me it could go badly for you… Real bad!!!”

Ward's Words #1163

I mistakenly went to parapsychologist and now, not only am I still anxiety-ridden, but I see dead people. 

Ward's Words #1161

If the cashew fits, wear it. 

Ward's Words #1158

On a recent exam, I was asked a few trick questions. That’s the last time I go to Hogwarts. 

Ward's Words #1155

If diamonds are so rare how come they keep coming up with engagement rings with up to fifty of them?  Me thinks there’s a scam afoot. 

Ward's Words #1153

I mistakenly went to parapsychologist and now, not only am I anxiety-ridden, but I see dead people.