Laura Lane's Blog, page 6

Forgiveness Prepares us to Receive

“Love brings everyone home.” Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Do you remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood?

She was a girl whose parents sent her off into the forest to take a basket of goodies to her grandmother who was frail and sick. 

Her parents knew it could be dangerous in the forest. They cautioned her to stay on the path and not talk to strangers. She agreed and off she went. 

But once she was in the forest, there were pretty flowers to pick and soon enough even with good intentions, she soon strayed from the path and next thing she knew she was being enticed by the big bad wolf. 

In the end after her scary adventure, the lumberjack thankfully came along to save not only her but grandma as well. And that was the end of the story. 

But now I want you to imagine what came after. 

The lumberjack takes Little Red Riding Hood home and tells her parents everything that has happened. 

Little Red Riding Hood knows she has disobeyed by leaving the path and she feels ashamed. She knows she has made a mess of things. 

She is even traumatized by the encounter with the wolf and being eaten. 

Let’s talk about her parents. They are saddened to hear what has happened to their little girl. 

But their first response is to scoop her up into their arms. They are so happy to have her home safe and sound. They hug and hold her and reassure her that everything will be okay now. 

They know she will need to go back into the woods again, but they trust her that she will learn from the experience and will be able to take more goodies to grandma again. 

They are loving, kind, generous and compassionate. They encourage Little Red Riding Hood and teach her more lessons that will hopefully keep her safe in her travels. 

Now why do I tell you this story? Now think of yourself as Little Red Riding Hood and your Heavenly Parents have sent you into the woods – to experience this mortal life, to share goodness with those less fortunate than you. 

But it is so easy to get distracted in this life and there are dangers all around you. What happens when you stray from the path? When the dangers creep up on you unaware? 

Do you know that there is Lumberjack ready and waiting to hear your cries, who will overcome the wolf and take you safely home?

Elder Dieter F. Uchdorf gave a talk in April 2007 where he spoke about the “Point of Safe Return”. 

The Lord always invites us to return to Him and I would like to focus on the Return! 

The Nephites had an experience that I would like to share with you. It was just after the Saviour was crucified in Jerusalem. The people had experienced terrible earthquakes, fires, storms, whirlwinds, cities sank or were burned and then they were left in blinding darkness for 3 days. 

Everyone mourned the destruction. It was during this time while the people mourned all they had lost, that the voice of the Saviour comes to them and he says “Will ye not now return unto me and repent of your sins and be converted that I may heal you?… Whosoever will come, him will I receive and blessed are those come unto me”

One day, as I read these verses in 3 Nephi, I wondered why when the people were in so much pain and suffering so much, why would the Saviour call them to repentance when they are struggling with the traumatic events that had just happened? 

Remember Little Red Riding Hood, I couldn’t imagine her parents telling her off as soon as they opened the door. Why would the Saviour?

Whenever I don’t understand something like this, I have learned to look more closely at the words used in the scriptures. Is there something there that I’m missing?

First the Saviour says – Return unto me
Then he says Repent, then be converted

What I discovered was that the word converted, when you look at the etymology or root meaning, it means to turn around. 

The origin of the words sin and  repent are actually old archery terms. Sin means to miss the mark and repent means to return to the mark.

So essentially the Saviour was telling the people, not once, not twice but three times to return to him and they would be healed. 

When we, like the Nephites, have experienced trauma, the Saviour asks us to turn around; to return to him so he can heal us. 

Author and Speaker Mastin Kipp in his 5 Stages of Healing Emotional Trauma  talks about how  “Emotional healing comes from safe connection and empathy and acceptance.” 

That is what the Saviour offers us. All we need to do is come to him, to return our gaze, our focus to him and he will love us, understand all we have gone through, accept us and heal us. That is how love heals. 

Kipp explains: “What isn’t traumatizing for most people is the specific [traumatic] event, but what happens afterwards. 

Meaning, did you [keep it to] yourself? 

Did your [friends] or your family sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened? 

Or was there [someone] that could understand what you went through?” 

Was there a sense of safely, security and feeling protected?

Remember Little Red Riding Hood? Her parents would have picked her up and held her and comforted her.

Kipp continues, “What was your emotional resiliency before it happened? 

What is fascinating is that when you get into working with people who have had trauma, which by the way is every one [of us]. 

It’s not like there are these traumatized people over here and then there is everyone else. 

Everybody has trauma.”

Everyone of us has to enter the woods and experience danger.

Kipp continues, “Different things happen to different people. 

When you look at people who have post traumatic growth versus post traumatic stress. 

The difference is that growth comes when there is secure attachment and emotional resiliency usually beforehand. 

After a traumatic experience there is empathy and connection. 

So that there is psychological and emotional safety on both sides of an event. 

So, what’s really interesting is that it’s not so much what happened to somebody but how resilient were they going into it and how much empathy and connection was there afterwards.”

We have to remember that life will present many traumatic, difficult situations but when we have the perspective that at the end of life here on earth, we will have the comfort and love of our Heavenly Father and the Saviour to heal our wounds. 

We came from the love and safety of the pre-existence with loving Heavenly Parents, and we will return to love and safety, empathy and connection as we pass through the veil to worlds to come. All will be made right. 

In the meantime, we can experience the Saviour’s love and healing just as he offered to the Nephites, and we too can show love, empathy and connection to support each other until that time that we return to our Heavenly Father. 

Why else does the Lord need us to be ministering brothers and sisters? So that we can provide comfort and empathy and connection for those around us, as each one of us go through difficult things.

Elder Uchtdorf shared in his talk “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world … might be saved” (John 3:17).

“Christ came to save us. If we have taken a wrong course, …”

[If we have strayed from the Path]

He continues, “A safe return is possible if we will follow God’s plan for our salvation.

“That plan includes divine reconciliation and forgiveness.”

Reconciliation means to make things right.

And remember – Repentance is returning to the mark – to return our gaze, and our direction towards the Saviour and the gospel.

He goes on to say, “We need a strong faith in Christ to be able to repent.” 

To trust enough that looking to him again will bring the healing we need. 

Elder Uchtdorf explains, “Our faith has to include a “correct idea of [God’s] character, perfections, and attributes” (Lectures on Faith [1985], 38). If we believe that God knows all things, is loving, and is merciful, we will be able to put our trust in Him for our salvation without wavering.”

The final part is forgiveness. We are told over and over that we will be forgiven. 

The Lord said, “He that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven” (D&C 1:32; emphasis added). And He said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). “Be faithful and diligent … and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love” (D&C 6:20).

And He declared, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).

But the question is – can we believe it?  

Elder Uchtdorf asks the question “How does extending forgiveness help us to receive God’s forgiveness?”

I think it is important to note, he did not ask “how does extending forgiveness help us to get God’s forgiveness?”

 Forgiveness is gift that we are freely given over and over, but do we allow ourselves to be forgiven? 

Let’s go back to Little Red Riding Hood one last time. She feels ashamed of what she got herself into, she knows she disobeyed. It is probably harder for her to accept that her parents don’t hate her or judge her bad decisions.

Her parents, on the other hand. are simply relieved that she is okay and find it easy to forgive her mistakes. 

That is how our Heavenly Parents respond to us – they are thrilled to have us coming home to them, they can easily forgive our mistakes along the way. 

So back to Elder Uchtdorf’s question: “How does extending forgiveness help us to receive God’s forgiveness?” When we extend forgiveness to others, sometimes we say that it is a hard thing to do. I don’t think it is. 

If it is our child who has made the mistake, like Little Red Riding Hood, we would forgive right away. I think that is because there is so much love involved. 

It is easy to forgive those we love. When we struggle, it is because judgement has gotten in the way of love. 

As Mother Theresa has said: “The moment you are loving someone, you are no longer judging them and the moment you are judging someone you are no longer loving them.” 

If I struggle to forgive someone then I need to love and see them as God sees them. 

When we experience and recognise how easy it is to forgive those whom we love then we can more readily accept that because God loves us so much, more than we can possibly imagine, He readily and consistently forgives us. 

It is at that point we can finally receive his forgiveness and accept the gift he is offering us. 

He simply wants us to return to him, return our gaze to the Saviour, remember his teaching and example and recognize that all he has done, is doing, and will do to help us return safely to our heavenly home.

It is all about the return. It is the Saviour who will help us to get there.

“Forgiveness prepares us to receive. Forgiveness opens our hearts so we can be filled with God’s love.”
 Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Healing Power of Words

“As I pray each morning, it is important for me to set my intention for the day, to receive and share God’s love, to be filled with love and life and light, to be healed, to become a beacon of light and hope.”
Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Can you visualize love pouring down from the heavens. Light and love and truth and goodness raining down upon God’s children, upon all his creations?

What if we have the ability to partner with God is raining love and light down upon those around us or even the whole world?

When we pray and ask God to bless someone, rather than begging him to do so, unsure whether He will deem our request good enough or important enough, it is important to remember that God loves that individual even more than we do. 

What we are in essence doing when we pray – at least when we are praying with faith, believing not doubting his greatness, we are simply visualizing God’s love for them. We can visualize His desire for their wellbeing. We then have the opportunity to actively combine our love with His, partnering with him. By expressing our love for the person we are praying for, sending them love, we can begin to feel the peace and comfort that comes, that surety that God does love them, is actively blessing them right now.

As we watch others suffer or struggle, Heavenly Father asks us to be not only the safe connection, that empathy and connection I mentioned a few weeks ago, that others need for emotional healing but also combine our love with His to bless them and heal them.

My friend and EBC colleague Debra Poneman once shared with me an experience she had when she became critically ill. She had developed an infection and suddenly her blood pressure dropped to dangerously low levels, and she had to be rushed to the hospital. While there she had a unique near-death experience.

As she lay on a gurney in the emergency room, everything around her changed. She began to see fascinating lights and colours in the room as the people around her spoke.

This is what Debra described, “What I saw was [a] nurse go over to my husband and put her hand on his shoulder and said to him ‘Don’t worry she’s going to be fine.’

And when those words came out of her mouth, it was like this light came from her mouth and the only way I can describe it was like My Little Pony because it was like pink sparkly light came out of her mouth on to my physiology and strengthened my physiology by her saying ‘Don’t worry she’s going to be fine.’

I’m telling you I saw the power of her words. Then a few minutes after the [emergency] doctor walked in. [He] saw that my blood pressure was down to about 67 over whatever it was. He said in a very gruff voice, he said to everybody ‘Get her blood pressure up or were going to lose her!’

When those words came out of his mouth, they came onto my physiology, and they were this kind of grey kind of gun metal colour. And they came onto my physiology and weakened me.

And as I lay there, I [could see] the power that we have, just with our words. We can change everything about our lives.”

That story has fascinated me for the last 10 years. Do you realize the power we actually have to love and support others or to tear them down with our words alone? Every word we speak aloud is a sound wave and has a corresponding physical or energetical impact on everything around us.

We literally have the power to bless others as we pray. When we talk about how amazing someone is, it sticks to them and strengthens them. When we gossip, put others down and say nasty things that sticks to them as well and weakens them. The nursey rhyme “Sticks and Stones” could not have been more wrong. Words do hurt.

But our words can heal as well. They can uplift and strengthen and bless. We really can partner with God to heal others.

Now let’s take this one step further. What are you saying about and to yourself all day? You have the same ability to impact your own wellbeing. Taking time to meditate – the ability to quiet the mind and focus the thoughts – then finding an affirmation that brings positivity, love and light into your own life to strengthen you throughout the day can then put you in a better position to send light and love to those around you.

 One of the things I teach in my meditation retreats is a moving mediation combined with affirmations that helps to focus on sending that light and love to others and receiving for yourself. It is powerful, calming and uplifting all at the same time. I have felt the difference in my life by doing it everyday before bed. If you think you might benefit by learning a God centered moving meditation – think of it as a standing prayer, please reach out to me at anytime.

Let me know what impact Debra Poneman’s story has on your life and how you speak about others and yourself over the coming days and weeks.

“As I meditate, I [can] connect the spiritual to the physical, filling myself with love throughout my whole body.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Strength that comes from Peace and Connection

“I strive to be void of fears and negativity so that there is room in my heart for blessings and goodness to enter and flow through me. I am striving to cultivate a pure heart. Blessed are the pure in heart.”
 Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Sometimes one of the most difficult parts of the challenges we face in life are the weight of the decisions that need to be made. It is during this time that we most need to hear inspiration from God.

I would like to share with you what I shared a few years ago in my book Two Mothers One Prayer. It was written to support cancer families facing the challenges of a childhood cancer diagnosis, to face those challenges with hope, strength and courage.

Since then, I have seen this advice help friends and clients deal with tragic losses, broken relationships and dark emotions that were holding them back from connecting with God. It is something we talk about more in depth in my retreats as we prepare to reflect and seek inspiration through meditation.  I hope you might find it as helpful as I did when I learned this process.

“After my daughter Celeste started her chemotherapy treatments, my friend Lorie sent me a copy of a book by Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace and More. She felt strongly that it was book I needed to read.

This book featured the ancient Hawaiian teaching of Ho’oponopono. It’s a long name for a beautiful and simple concept. It was exactly what I needed to learn to help me be better in tune with God so I could be open to the inspiration I so desperately needed as I sat with my daughter each day.

After reading all about Ho’oponopono and learning all that Joe Vitale and Dr. Len had to share about the topic, I began to see what was hindering me from being connected to God and spirit and my ability to gain the inspiration I desperately needed to best care for Celeste.

First, I was reminded that God is love.

In each moment, He loves us. When we can connect to that feeling of love in the present moment, then we can connect to God and be open to the inspiration, to the guidance He wishes to give us in that moment.

When we recognize and accept our true identity, our relationship to God as one of His children, we then recognize our divine nature. We acknowledge that He really is in charge. He controls all things and He desires what is best for us. He loves us.

Problems occur when we focus not on the present moment but instead get caught up in the past. We get stuck in old memories, old beliefs and paradigms, and all the negative emotions of the past: resentment, fear, anger, blame, confusion, jealousy, hatred, and judgement.

It is at that point that we deny our true identity. We disconnect from God and inspiration is blocked. Our paradigms, beliefs, and old memories are in charge. When we accept our true identity, when we are connected to God and spirit, when we are open to receiving inspiration, we are then feeling God’s love, feeling grateful, loving, peaceful, kind, humble, fully responsible for our lives, and accepting of others.

So, the key question is: how do we get back to feeling love and peace? How can we be open to inspiration when we are stuck in the emotions of fear and resentment and anger? We can’t just say, “Be at peace!” We need to make a transition, and that is where the process of Ho’oponopono comes in.

In its most basic form, Ho’oponopono means: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

You can have a silent conversation with God and say, “I’m sorry I’m stuck right now feeling (fear, resentment, anger, blame, etc.) for this situation, this person, this problem. Please forgive me.” Then allow yourself to feel the peace and say “thank you” and “I love you” until you begin to feel the love in your heart again.

This process became a life-saver for me. There were many days when I had to sit across the room from my ex-husband and I would stew in the emotions of resentment and anger and frustration and blame. It would eat me up inside.

But once I began using the Ho’oponopono, I could have those silent conversations with God and say “I’m sorry I feel resentment toward David or Michelle right now. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” Now, many times, the feeling would come back as soon as I looked at my ex again, but I would just repeat those phrases over and over again until I could finally look at him without feeling the resentment.

Because the truth was that in that present moment he wasn’t actually doing anything to me. He was just sitting there, but I was caught up in the past, remembering things that had happened years ago. The Ho’oponopono helped me to come back to the present moment and be grounded and feel the love God has for me and be open to the inspiration I needed to best help Celeste in the present moment. It brought me an incredible sense of peace.“

I believe that peace is one of the key reasons we need to take the time to reflect and strengthen our connection to God. We make far better decisions when we are in a peaceful state. When life sends us challenges to face, there are so many important decisions that need to be made and for which we need as much inspiration as we can get.

I found that taking the time for reflection leads to finding the peace to be open to the inspiration I need. I learned to let go of the stress and worries, and I could focus on being there to best step up to the obstacles and challenges at hand.

What benefits will you receive in your life when you take time to reflect, let go of negative emotions, feel more peaceful and connected to God?

“Remembering God’s love equals finding rest. Rest for the weary.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Growing our Bounty

“When I fall out of love, feel less passion, when my heart is darkened or depressed, when doubts fill my mind? I must start by rebuilding my hope.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Last Sunday I was teaching my Sunday school class and we were discussing Mark 9:17-30 and how we can use prayer and fasting to grow our faith.

First, we need a proper fuller definition of faith.  I discovered that in general we use the word faith, and we mix it up with the words belief and hope and we use them interchangeably.

They are actually three different things.

I learned from Dr Jerome Groopman in his book The Anatomy of Hope that hope is when we have a beautiful vision of something, and a positive emotion go along with it. Hope is when we paint a beautiful picture of how we would like things to be, and it feels good.

But hope is not belief. Hope is a nice idea. Belief takes things to next level. When we look at the etymology of the word belief: Be comes from the word being and Lief is an Indo-European word that means love. It actually means to fall in love with something. When you believe something, you have fallen in love with it. So, you take that beautiful vision, and you’ve fallen in love with it, you now believe it.

How do we transform our hope and belief into faith?

If I find an acorn, I can have a beautiful vision that I want to have an oak tree in my yard. I have this beautiful vision of this oak tree and I’m going to put a swing in it for my children and my grandchildren to swing on. I’ll be able to sit under the shade of that oak tree, and I’ll be able to enjoy the leaves falling in the fall, and birds singing in the summertime.

I have this beautiful vision and I’ve now fallen in love with it. But while that acorn sits in my hand it will never turn into an oak tree. So what distinguishes hope and belief from faith? Faith is when I’m willing to listen to inspired wisdom, that would tell me what I need to do and then I trust that wisdom enough to act on it.

So back to that acorn. I talk to an arborist and an arborist will tell me. You need to plant it so many inches down in the ground. You need to cover it. You need to make sure that it’s watered and that it gets enough sunlight. You’re going to have to protect it from the squirrels, so they don’t dig it up. And as it begins to grow, you’re going to nurture it and water it and take care of it, and then it will grow into an oak tree. Next, I have to not only listen to that advice, but I have to trust it enough to actually take the acorn and plant it and follow through by nurturing it and serving that vision.

So how does this tie into the story in Mark when the apostles asked Jesus why they weren’t able to cast out the demons from the boy? Jesus’ answer was they didn’t have enough faith and this type of miracle required prayer and fasting.

So how will prayer and fasting increase our faith?

First, what is fasting. Fasting isn’t just the practice of going without food all day. It the practice of putting aside our worldly mundane everyday chores and responsibilities – remember not too long ago the task of preparing food and eating took up a big chuck of the day.

If you could put aside that responsibility and take that time or the whole day to focus on the miracle you needed in your life, if you could spend the day in quiet contemplation, focusing on the beautiful vision you desired, seeing the big picture of possibilities and God’s grace to help you obtain it. Feeling His love for all involved in the miracle. Discussing the matter with God, listening to his advice on what to do next and being motivated to follow through. That is true prayer and fasting.

To me that is also the definition of growing your faith. But it requires taking that quiet time to focus and pray and listen and learn.

What miracle are you looking for in your life that could benefit from a day of quiet contemplation? A day of prayer and fasting to see what miracles God has in store for you.

“Peace comes from having divine guidance and inspiration—connecting to the Divine.”
Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Everyday Joy

“Gratitude is to fill our thoughts with pleasing thoughts, to fill our heart with love for the beautiful things in our lives, to focus our eyes to see the beauty around us and the source of all that beauty.” Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

This week I saw a video on Tiktok. It was part of a BBC documentary about autism and Dr Luke Beardon was interviewing a man named Chris about his experience with sensory overload in everyday situations.

What I found completely fascinating was how Chris explained that a crowded market with loud noises, strong smells and a huge amount of visual stimuli and many people milling about was obvious something he tried to avoid because it was too overwhelming but his solution wasn’t to simply never leave the house.

Instead, he sought out sensory experiences that brought him joy such a walk out in nature. A walk out in nature has many competing stimuli but these are ones that bring him comfort and joy: the bright sun, noises of the birds and animals, strong smells, a huge amount of things to see everywhere, the wind and other elements of weather.

Other examples of sensory joy were a soft blanket, petting a cat or dog, or smelling a favourite sent. Chris expressed how many individuals with autism recognize that they experience the world differently then those of us whose brains can filter out stimuli, that was we are missing out on is the amount of joy that can be had from a heightened awareness of the sensory world around us. The autistic brain forces them to see what most of us ignore and no longer notice anymore.

I made me realize how much sensory joy I am missing out on in my life right now. If all I am seeing and experiencing is home and work day after day. Siting in front of a laptop all day then coming home grabbing a quick bite to eat then crashing on the couch in front of the TV before stumbling into bed.

What I am missing out on is a huge amount of sensory joy. I could be enjoying the sounds of the birds outside – I love hearing the chickadees in my yard.

I could be noticing the chipmunks running around and hear the squirrels chattering away in the trees.

I could be experiencing the feel of the cool wind on my face and the sound of the breeze in the trees or waves crashing on the shore at the lakefront beach.

I could be feeling the sun warming my body.

I could be enjoying good foods that have wonderful textures, tastes and smells.

I could be noticing the feel of water running over my hands as a wash. I could be noticing the smell of the almond soap.

I could be listening to music that makes me want to move and sway to it or uplifts my soul.

What I had noticed lately was that I was feeing bored, lethargic and tired. I was struggling to write in my journal, struggling to find things to be happy about, to be grateful for.  No wonder. I wasn’t allowing myself the opportunity to experience anything that could bring pleasure to my life, to be grateful for, that could bring me joy.

So many things in life are about perspective. There are an infinite number of incredible experiences out there but the key is: are we allowing ourselves to experience them or have we filtered them all out?

This was a big wake up call for me. I had forgotten how much I was missing out on and the sad part is it never went anywhere. It was always here for me to enjoy.

All of the things that bring us joy, the things that we are most grateful for, are right here. We just have to allow ourselves the time and opportunity to focus on experiencing them everyday.

What are you missing out on that is right there at your fingertips everyday that you could be enjoying but you had forgotten about? What do you need to be more grateful for? What would bring you more joy?

 Will you take time to stop and smell the roses?

“Gratitude leads us to joy.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

“Wallgnarps” Flash Fiction by Laura Lane

Wallgnarps

Perhaps, or maybe I should say most likely, you haven’t heard of Wallgnarps. Grandad came from London, England 60 years ago. He’s been telling his children and grandchildren all about Wallgnarps ever since. Well actually he’s been telling anyone who will listen, be it his children, grandchildren, or the unsuspecting young woman sitting next to him on the plane.

Wallgnarps, Grandad will tell you, are little creatures that hang upside down on the little stonewall laneways throughout England. They are similar to bats in that they hang upside down, fuzzy or I should say furry like a mouse and without the wings. They hang by their tails like American opossums. Some can be the size of a fist, but they can grow larger, to roughly the size of a small melon. It can be rather unnerving to come across one, especially if you have never seen one before.

Imagine yourself walking casually down an old country lane in Devon, it’s a beautiful sunny day. Who am I kidding, it’s more likely gray and cloudy and threatening to rain – a lovely day as I was saying. Imagine, you are strolling down the lane, hugging close to the wall as you go around the curve, you hear the roar of the engine of an oncoming motorist. You don’t want to be hit, the locals have a reputation for speeding down the lanes, so you pause to wait for the old Land Rover to pass.

In that short space of time, before the old jalopy skirts around you, you get a creepy feeling that something is inches from your right shoulder. You don’t want to lose site of the vehicle, but what… is… that… thing? You want to jump away, but if you do you’ll land right in the path of the car barreling down on you.

Really your back should be pressed up against the wall, so Mister Andretti doesn’t run over your feet as he careens down the road. But that thing…? It has huge eyes – dark and piercing, staring you down, and it starts squeaking a high-pitched warning – you’ve come too close. Its fur is a light brown to match the stone wall. Its little clawed feet grasp the wall and its tail is wrapped around the vines of the ivy that climbs and intertwines itself with the blackberry brambles that hang over the wall from the farmer’s fields.

What you don’t know is what it will do? Will it bite? Jump on you? Climb in your hair and scratch your face? Or even worse maybe it has rabies! I really can’t tell you. I’ve never come across one myself. They are so rare.

My father, Grandad, is the only one who really knows. He’s been telling people about them ever since he was roped into being Dungeon Master in a game of D&D back in 1985. And yes, he did tell some poor college student on the plane to lookout for them on her next trip to England!

Original flash fiction essay written by Laura Lane first published in Flash Fiction Friday in 2020

“Fall Foliage” Essay by Laura Lane

Fall Foliage

Somethings just don’t preserve well.

I love fall. I love the colours. I love how the leaves fall from the trees, slowly gliding, twisting and turning and tumbling down to the ground or speeding past me with a gust of wind. I love the accumulation of leaves on the sidewalk or in the gutters so that as I shuffle my feet through them, they almost slow me down. They at least remind me how I let them slow me down on my trudge to and from school each day or how I eagerly looked for piles that were raked into mountains for me to dive into, swim through and when I come up for air and head home,  having telltale red, yellow and orange reminders peeking out of my socks, stuck in my hair and the odd time down my shirt.

I loved collecting as many types of leaves as I could in every colour and size. Big red maple leaves, yellow oak, orangey brown birch and tiny little willow leaves. I wanted them all and I wanted to keep them forever. Some years they were kept in shoe boxes. Other years pressed between pages of the biggest books I could find in the house. But try as I might they inevitably turned brown, dried out and crumbled into brittle pieces of dust. 

That’s why when my dad hit on one more of his great sales ideas, I fell hook line and sinker for it. My dad has a plastic manufacturing company and he hates to throw out plastic or at least let anything go to waste. He’s always looking for ways to use the small cut off pieces that are left over.

So about 10 years ago he looked at the clear acrylic plastic cut offs and he hit on an idea. We would cut them into 3 inch by 3 inch squares then collect the best, brightest and most unique fall leaves, press them to the underside of the squares and adhere them with the end pieces of the plastic tape that the company makes as well. Stick on trivet feet in the four corner and voila – drink coasters. We’d package them as sets of four plus a larger hot pad trivet to match. I came up with the idea to wrap them in the clear cellophane wrapping paper tied with red, orange and yellow ribbon, with a little label attached. We’d offer it to local charities as a fundraising item and 25% of the proceeds going to the charity!

Brilliant idea! I jumped right on that bandwagon. My kids and I headed out the door immediately to collect the best, brightest and most colourful leaves we could find. My dining room table became the assembly line of coaster production.  We were in business!

Okay actually we were in production. In order to be a real business, we needed sales! We found a few unsuspecting friends and family members who were willing to fork over $20 but knocking on doors proved harder than I expected. No local businesses were willing to stock them and as our inventory begin to collect dust through the winter and into the next spring, my carefully chosen bright fall leaves did as they inevitably did in my shoebox, they turned a sad sorry brown no matter what colour they started out. Nature won out again.

I have a few coasters left at home and every time I find one tucked away in the drawer under the window seat or under a stack of magazines I am reminded that some things, most things, like fall leaves are meant to be enjoyed in the moment and not laminated or tucked away in a shoebox.

Original essay by Laura Lane first published in the The Voice of Pelham Column Six in 2020

Fall Foliage Coasters

“Dishes” poem by Laura Lane

Dishes

Today my dishwasher became a dish dryer
as my husband creatively used the rack to stack
the freshly washed dishes

A huge reminder that we can’t afford
repairs or a new one
it doesn’t fit into our new ultra
conserve on everything,
skinny jeans tight
budget

and he doesn’t like it
I made him wash dishes by hand
the first time in 10 years
and I don’t have the energy to say thanks
thanks for something I have done for years
without anyone asking
except when someone says
“mom there’s no clean dishes
we’re out of glasses,
I can’t find a fork!”

So I unload the dishwasher everyone sees filled
and load it up with 3 more loads that day
but now that it’s broken
I don’t want to be stuck
with one more thankless job
of washing glasses as well as pots
spending hours
at the sink
seeing the splash marks on the tiles
like little eyes peering at me
guilting me into seeing one more thing
I don’t have time to clean

My hands getting repeatedly burned
and then frozen
when I can’t get the temperature right
reaching into an overflowing sink
spilling over like waves over the breakwater
of a kitchen counter
flowing like Niagara Falls
over the edge
onto my feet
I hate that
not noticing until I’m already wet
my socks dripping
torn whether I should just
leave them on to mop up the next spill
I know will happen
minutes from now

my hands are prunes
and if I’m not careful
buy the wrong dish soap
they’ll be dry and hurting me hours from now
it’s always so hard to know when to pull the plug
the water is still warm
but it’s gross with grease
and goop that once was someone’s soup
because they forgot to rinse the bowl
before throwing it in the sink or
stacking more bowls on top
concealing the mess

just like that pile of dirt that accumulates
under the carpet
cause no one wants to get the dustpan out
and I know cause sometimes it’s me
I hate to stoop and prop the stupid broom
against my shoulder while holding
the too small dustpan that won’t stay flush with the floor
letting the dust and sand and tiny particles
escape and hide
until you pull back an inch
over and over and over
and six more times
‘til I just don’t care anymore and leave the last little bit to get blown away
as soon as someone opens the back door

If I could someday, I’d fly away
pretending I am a little sparrow
flitting about
unobtrusive
with a happy little chirp

Instead I’m staring out the window
into the neighbour’s yard
while my shirt gets wetter and wetter
pressed up against the counter
stopping the water from reaching
my sopping wet feet
trying to decide
is the water warm enough to do one more pot?
even though I haven’t seen a single bubble
since 3 pots ago

And that’s why tonight I said
“Enough is enough! Everyone has to have a turn”
and he doesn’t like it
cause I should have said that 10 years ago
“Let’s do this together”
When love was so strong, he’d do anything for me
but love is quieter now
more routine
lovely but routine

That wasn’t what he signed up for
a wife making him do dishes
once a week
he likes his cushy spot on the couch
he probably thinks
“let’s not rock the boat”

Maybe tomorrow I’ll thank him
when I go to inspect the work he’s done
and overlook the spots and the things
I’m sure he’s left behind
for me to do
I guess that’s what I signed up for.

Original poem by Laura Lane, First published in The Banister Anthology and Poetry Contest by the Canadian Authors Association Niagara Chapter 2022 as a Judge’s Choice

“Waterfall” poem by Laura Lane

Waterfall

The water pivots
one moment serene
being pulled
from the space above
then pivots
into freefall
like thousands of its friends
all launching themselves
from the safety of the plane
to the freedom of the air
as they skydive down
to their next adventure
tumbling as they land
not on hard earth
but into the pool below
tossed under the surface
then floating serenely on
until pulled once more

Original poem by Laura Lane, First published in the Minnow Literary Magazine 2022

“Unhinged” Poem by Laura Lane

Unhinged

The rice began to squirm

tiny almost imperceptible movements

playing tricks on my fragile mind

precariously perched on the edge

of a terrestrial sidewalk

Original poem by Laura Lane, First published in Versification Ezine 2021