Laura Lane's Blog, page 3

Divine Orchestration

“Look at your life through heavens eyes“

Through Heaven’s Eyes, Song by Brian Stokes Mitchell, from the Prince of Egypt film

Have you have thought that your life is been conducted like an orchestra in order to get you to the right place at the right time?

I’ve noticed a few times that the universe seems to be plotting to get me right where I am supposed to be or to keep me out of harm’s way.

I think that God and his angels regularly play the role of Conductor to help us in answering ours or other’s prayers.

I looked up the word Conductor to see if that is really right word for this situation. Conductor comes from the Latin word conducere which means brings to together or one who leads or guides, to lead or bring together. Con meaning with or together, Ducere meaning to lead. The Latin word Dux / Ducis means leader or commander.

I think that sums things up nicely on what I have seen in my life.

Like the time I was driving through Toronto on my way to my first date with my first husband. It was Boxing day – the day after Christmas and it had snowed recently, the roads were messy and quite busy with holiday traffic. I had a 90 min drive on the 3 lane QEW Highway. I was driving in the fast lane. There were cars ahead of me, behind me and to the right of me. All three lanes were packed.

Suddenly the car ahead of me slowed down. I hit the brakes and began to fishtail.  As everything around me felt like it was in slow motion, I began to spin out of control. I spun across three lanes of traffic to land facing the wrong way on the right shoulder.

It was a miracle. I didn’t hit a single car, and no one hit me. We were travelling over 100 kms an hour. I don’t know how I spun safely through 3 lanes of traffic, but I have a feeling there was some divine conducting going on. I imagine angels gently guiding my car and those around me. “Here you move her that way, I’ll slow this car here, you move that car there!”

I know that wasn’t the only time and it didn’t always have to do with cars.

Another time I was in New York City with Kevin Hall as part of our Genshai Global Greats mastermind group. Most times we met on the west coast and the other groups members would hop on their short haul flights home and I would fly out the next morning. This time I expected they would leave the next day and I could short haul to Buffalo that evening after hanging out with my favourite group members. I had it all planned out.

Only of course it didn’t work that way. Everyone left on early flights, and I had 6 hours to kill before I had to be at the airport.  My backup plan was to go visit the Monet’s waterlilies exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA).

I thought I’d walk it. It was warm spring day, and it was only a dozen or so blocks and if I got tired, I could always grab a taxi.

So here I am walking through Manhattan pulling my suitcase in my new shoes that weren’t quite broken in yet. I’m feeling tired, my feet are sore, but I can’t find a taxi for the life of me. As I walk past the New York Public Library I decide to stop to rest my feet and hopefully find a taxi.

Still no luck. I get back up and slowly trudging now, resigned to the fact that I’m walking the whole way there. A block and a half away my poor ankles, in my new heeled sandals, just can’t take it anymore. My ankle buckles and I fall completely onto the sidewalk. Strangers come over to help me up. I’m so embarrassed. The only way I can see myself getting there now is to simply take off my shoes and walk barefoot for the last few blocks.

Once inside the MOMA, I line up to pay the entrance fee. The kind lady at the desk points out that on the first Friday of every month, the museum is free from 4pm onwards. It’s only 3:40 and the line up for the free entry is just over there, stretching at least 2 blocks.

Nope I just can’t do it. I can’t see my feet being able to handle standing in that line. I ask her if I can just pay and go inside now. And is there a restaurant? I’m starving. She takes my money and directs me to the elevator to the 6th floor where they have a small café.

Perfect. I check my bag and head up to the 6th floor. The café is quite full. I let the staff know that as I am alone, I don’t mind sharing a table with someone if it means I can be seated sooner. She directs me to a table where an older gentleman is just preparing to pay and leave.

He smiles. I order my food and he asks me if he can borrow my phone to call his son.  He starts to tell me how he comes to the museum every month, but his wife isn’t well enough to come with him. His name is Robert, and he lives across the river in Brooklyn. He has a pocket full of index cards with lyrics to his favourite songs. Robert shuffles through them and begins to sing to me. 

He waits while I eat and tells me his life story. Apparently in the lower floors there is an auditorium, and the museum shows free movies. He invites me to join him. I’ll just need to stop by the customer service desk to request a ticket.

By the time I request my ticket and find Robert inside, they are just about to turn down the house lights. He has saved me a seat next to the grand piano. The movie this afternoon is an old silent film.

This is all bringing back memories for me. My grandfather used to play the piano for the silent films in the 1930’s. Robert is so excited to have my company, he reaches for my hand and holds it during the whole film.  To me it feels like I am at the movies with my grandfather who passed away 20 years earlier. It was so sweet.

Robert then offers to show me around the museum and shares with me all his favourite paintings. He keeps shuffling through his index cards and selects song after song to sing to me. He is as thrilled by my company as I am by his. It was such lovely way to end my trip.

At 8pm I gave Robert a hug goodbye and he gave me his address with strict instructions to look him up when I came back. I walked the 2 blocks to the shuttle bus pick up point and made my way to the airport to catch my flight home.

There were so many little miracles that day. In order for me to be at the right place and the right time to meet Robert, the universe had to slow me down, make me stop to rest, make sure I couldn’t find a taxi and when I was still going too fast, I had to not only fall down but slowly walk in bare feet the rest of the way!

It wasn’t until I stood up to leave the shuttle bus that I discovered that my ankle had swollen up and I couldn’t walk on it.  The whole time I was with Robert I didn’t have a problem. I had sat longer in the movie than I did on the bus. But it didn’t swell up until after we had our dinner, movie and museum date together. It was a divine orchestration at work again.

I can think of a handful of other times in my life where God and the angels had a hand in conducting me to where they wanted me to be.

When do you think there has been divine orchestration at work in your life? If you’d like to share those stories with me, I’d love to hear them.

“Having a divine perspective and hope helps me to know I am not alone. “

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

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Love is an Expression of Tenderness

“My ability to see love in the world creates more love in the world.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

This week, to follow up on what I shared last week about Love,  I thought I would share an excerpt from my book “Two Mothers One Prayer”. This is from Chapter 11 – Love. It includes some of my very favourite quotes.

French philosopher Yann Dall’Aglio’s definition of love speaks to me: “Love is an expression of tenderness.” To me, tenderness is about recognizing that something or someone is fragile. It is about being able to hold or embrace them in a manner that understands and accepts that if you treat them too roughly, they could break— physically or emotionally.

We are more readily able to accept the fragility of children and treat them tenderly, with great love and affection, eager to protect them from the world. When a child develops cancer, we are even more aware of their fragility and it becomes an opportunity to pour out our love on that child.

I cherish the moments I had when I could hold Celeste, cuddle her, sing to her, and love her. It was indeed a very tender time. During Celeste’s first round of chemo and her transfer from a regular room to her isolation, no, her healing room, as her blood counts dropped, we were discouraged from contaminating her bed with germs. That’s hard for a parent to hear: Don’t sit on your sick child’s bed.

But that didn’t last long and I was climbing onto her bed again, holding and cuddling as much as possible. It was healing for both of us.

Love is a powerful emotion. It has the ability to create physiological changes in the body.

Love and hope and positive thoughts all have the ability to alter the body’s neurochemistry. Dr. Jerome Groopman in The Anatomy of Hope explains how belief and expectation are able to “block pain by releasing the brain’s endorphins and enkephalins, thereby mimicking the effects of morphine.”

He goes on to explain in detail the substantiating research of the Benedetti experiment performed by Dr. Fabrizio Benedetti at the University of Turin in Italy. Numerous studies since the 1970s have established the link between love and the release of endorphins. From the research of Candace Pert and Nancy Ostrowski in 1976, psychiatrist Michael Liebowitz in 1983, and physician Theresa Crenshaw in 1996, there is evidence that love is more than just a warm fuzzy.

But any mother can tell you that: the fastest way to ease the pain of your child is to love and hold that child.

What is the first thing we do when our child falls down and scrapes her knee? We pick her up, hug and kiss her, and then apply the bandage. Love makes it “all better.”

When Celeste was diagnosed, she was showered with love and affection. When we renamed her isolation room her healing room, I wrote all over the sliding glass door the names of all her friends and family who were loving and supporting her from a distance. Even though they couldn’t come visit, I wanted her to know she was constantly surrounded with love. It was the same idea with the sticky notes right after her first surgery. I never wanted her to doubt how much she was loved. It became one of my biggest priorities.

Loving your child comes easily to most parents. Most of us don’t need a reminder; we’re doing it naturally. However, many mothers forget how to love themselves.

That is where I really like Yann Dall’Aglio’s reminder that love is about tenderness. If we can begin to recognize our own fragility during this stressful time, we can be loving, kind, and patient with ourselves, our spouses, and our other children.

The diagnosis and treatment of cancer is a difficult situation for everyone. Stress is at an all-time high. This is when we need the greatest amounts of love, patience, and gratitude. This is where our true strength and character need to shine through.

Leo Buscaglia, the author of Love and the professor of Love 101 at University of Southern California, makes the observation that “Love requires one to be strong.” He shares that “It is always from strength that gentleness arises,” from our courage to be willing to be vulnerable.

I learned a great deal about love reading Og Mandino’s book The Greatest Salesman in the World and the second scroll, which reminds us of the miracles and blessings that come when we are willing to say “I will greet this day with love in my heart.”

Sometimes it is not easy to do that when we are tired and our child is sick.

Dave Blanchard, in his book Today I Begin a New Life, analyzes that wisdom by explaining the different forms of love. The word charity that we use today comes from the Greek word agape, which means “a heightened level of awareness.” I have heard Blanchard explain further that it is “to see someone as God sees them.”

When we can see everyone the way God sees them, all their frailties and weaknesses as well as their strengths, we can learn to treat them tenderly. We must also view ourselves from God’s perspective: lovingly, tenderly, and patiently. We can do the same with our spouses and other children or family members.

Charity is also known as the pure love of Christ. It is how Jesus Christ saw and treated everyone. He saw them as God saw them and treated them with the utmost respect, love, and tenderness. The apostle Paul in the New Testament in the Bible explains that charity “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (KJV)

Charity is the third Pillar of Islam or Zakat. In Judaism, it is referred to as Tzedakah. In Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, it is similarly known as Dana, the practice of unattached and unconditional generosity.

That kind of love, or charity, heals and transforms.

When you love something or someone it transforms that thing or person. When you allow yourself to be loved, it transforms you. When we root ourselves so that we are experiencing love on all levels—feeling it in our body and heart, accepting love, surrounded by love, generating love—then we are giving as well as receiving at the same time that we are connected to God.

But we have to remember that we can’t give something until we have fully received it. That is why it is so important to allow ourselves to be loved.

Now what does that really mean? First, we have to understand that the moment we love someone, we are no longer judging that person; and the moment we are judging someone, we are no longer loving him or her. “If you judge people, you have no time to love them,” Mother Teresa said.

Brené Brown does a great job explaining our own difficulties in accepting help and love, and it stems from our own self-judgment or lack of self-love. On Oprah’s Lifeclass, Brown spelled it out to the audience.

“When you cannot accept and ask for help without self judgment, then when you offer other people help, you are always doing so with judgment. Because you have attached judgment to asking for help.

“When you extract worthiness for helping people, that’s judgment. When you don’t extract worthiness and you think, ‘I’m just helping you because one day I’m gonna need help’—that’s connection. That’s vulnerability.”

If you are having difficulty allowing others to help you during your hour of need, it may be because of the judgment you have placed on others when you have helped them or judgment about your own worthiness in receiving help.

Courageously pull down the wall called judgment and begin tenderly loving you and those around you.

In this stressful time, you need love. You need to accept love and support. Go back to what I shared earlier about Ho’oponopono. Have a silent conversation with God and say, “I’m sorry I have been stuck in a feeling of judgment. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you!”

Keep saying it until you are finally filled with feelings of love and gratitude.

Gratitude is the final peace of the puzzle. It is so important to have gratitude and love and appreciation for all those people supporting you and your child at this time.

For all the doctors, wonderful nurses who are there day and night, the multitude of support staff, hospital staff, social workers, chaplains, clergy, church groups, friends, neighbours, and family who are there to help with everything, feel the gratitude deep within you.

It may be impossible to thank every one of them, but if you can feel that gratitude in your heart for all they do, remembering their sacrifices, it will make some days easier to bear.

There will be days when people make mistakes, but if you have an attitude of gratitude, a bigger perspective, you can be more forgiving and loving. Think of how much your child loves and is grateful for you and all you do. Begin to feel the same love and gratitude for those around you. Our children really are our teachers. Celeste has taught me.

I truly believe that the children who are diagnosed with cancer are some of the wisest, sweetest, strongest, and most loving children. They have gained a bigger perspective of the world in such a short time. They become wise beyond their years.

Another thing we can learn to do is to be more grateful for every day we have with our children. None of us ever knows how long we have on Earth, so it is imperative that we live and love each moment we have. For some of us, our children’s days do become numbered and we learn how to make the best of every moment we have left with them.

One of the gifts of our experience was that we learned a deeper meaning of love, a deeper way to love. As a mom, I realized it was not my job to only give love, but to also receive it. To learn to love and accept myself without judgment was part of the process.

My readings, my interactions with so many loving people, my time in prayer, and certainly my daughter, taught me more about love than I ever could have witnessed prior to Celeste’s getting cancer.

It may not come easily on some days to greet each day with love, but when you do, you will feel the reward. Love does make us feel better, from the inside out. You can read the studies, but the only research that matters is what you experience for yourself.

Love is an expression of tenderness. Practice it in all ways. Of course you will be tender and loving to your child. Express that same love to the rest of the family, your spouse, and, most importantly, yourself.

There is so much love around you. Let it in. Let it ease the burden. Let it envelope you and hold you ever so tenderly as you journey through these days.

No matter what happens, Love always stays.”

In what ways can you be more loving to yourself and treat yourself more tenderly through difficult times? Who can you show more gratitude to for supporting you along the way?

 “Love requires one to be strong. It is always from strength that gentleness arises.”

Leo Buscaglia

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Love Heals!

“Love Heals, Love Creates, Love Transforms.” 

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

This week I asked for a blessing to help me recover from respiratory illnesses that have plagued me for most of the summer. I know that healing can come but I always become curious as to how that works.

As I pondered that today I was reminded that Love Heals!

As I continued to ponder, this is what I have figured out so far:  I believe that an important part of asking for healing is understanding how God heals us. He heals us through his perfect love. But how does that work?

For years I have wanted to better understand how miracles work. How did Jesus do what he did, and can we really do miracles like his just as he promised?

I believe that the key is understanding God’s perfect love. He can heal us through His perfect love because the elements themselves are willing to change or move and combine at His request because they feel His love and because every living matter – all that is alive, feels a great love in return for Him and are willing to do as He asks.

When we seek for healing, we have a part to play in receiving that healing. We have to be willing and allow ourselves to be loved. We have to let Him Love us.

When our cat Storm first came to us as a rescued kitten, she was hesitant to let us cuddle and hold her and she only rarely slept on our bed. Now 3 years later she sleeps with us most of the time.  But she had to become accustomed to us. It required her spending time with us and getting to know us. It was only then that she allowed us to love her.

I personally have far more love to give her when she is ready to receive it.

It is the same way for us. We are the feral ones. God loves us and wants to heal our wounds, but we have to be willing to accept His love.

How can we learn to trust Him enough to heal us? By spending time learning about God, spending more time appreciating all that He is and all He does. We can learn how much He loves us, and we can open our heart to His love, allow ourselves to be enveloped in His love.

We may have emotional wounds and past trauma that make it hard to trust and let others in but if we allow Him to heal those wounds first, it can make it easier to then allow Him to love us enough to heal the physical wounds and see miracles happen in our lives.  

What do you think is the key to healing? Are you able to receive God’s perfect love so that He can heal you?

“When I root myself so that I am experiencing love on all levels: feeling it in my body, in my heart, accepting love, surrounded by love, generating love, when I am giving as well as receiving at the same time, then I am connected to God, connected to all God wants to give to me.” 

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

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Trials, Troubles, and Afflictions

“Having a divine perspective and hope helps me to know I am not alone.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Sometimes life can be hard and we struggle to make sense of it.

Right now, is a tough time for many people. Families and individuals are struggling financially with debt and the downturn of the economy and at the same time are in constant vigilance against fraud and deception. Some are dealing with ‘Acts of God’ like flooding, fires, and earthquakes and crazy storms in places that don’t normally have them. Many cities are dealing with high levels of theft and property damage, homelessness, and contention, and violence. Some countries are at war, or are balanced precariously on the threat of war.

It is a hard world to live in right now. Everywhere we turn life is a challenge. With disasters and war comes casualties and loss of life, but many families are also dealing with grief from family members being ill, or declining with age, or divorce and abuse.

This is when many people start asking if there is a God why does he allow this to happen? Or why did he do this to me or my family? Perhaps you might have felt like God was punishing you or someone you love by causing a particular tragedy.

Whenever I begin to ask, “why me, why now?” I am reminded of a Prophet named Alma. He had 3 sons and before he passed away, he wanted to impart words of advice to all three sons. Some advice was unique to each son and their particular needs or personality but one piece of advice in particular he gave to his two oldest sons.

The space that he had to write was limited but it was recorded twice. That caught my attention. He also seemed be using 3 words to describe the same thing. Why use three words when one would do?

To his son Helaman, he recounted his life story and concluded, “And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions;” (Alma 36:27)

To his son Shiblon he counselled “And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 38:5)

Why use the words trial, troubles and afflictions? And why use them both times? That’s when it came to me trials, troubles and afflictions are three separate things.

Trials are what everyone has to experience in this life. It is what helps us grow and refines us. Things will go wrong, the weather will be bad, our bodies will get sick and people we love will die before us. We all have to go through trials and experiences.

But troubles and afflictions are a completely different story.

Troubles are the things we bring upon ourselves through our own mistakes or choices. If I fall down and break a limb because I chose to get drunk. If I get lung cancer because I chose to smoke my whole life. If I am not careful in the way I prepare food and I get food poisoning. If I am not diligent with my finances and I overspend and accumulate a huge debt.  If I put myself in a dangerous situation or I fail to check my gear before doing something dangerous. If I spend all my time and resources feeding an addiction and struggle to function properly in life. These are all things that I have brought upon myself.

It can be difficult to admit that we’ve made mistakes that have brought difficulties upon us and sometimes our families. It requires taking full responsibility and ownership of our life choices.

The last one is afflictions. There unfortunately are things that happen to us because of other’s negligence, cruelty and unkindness. These are things that happen because someone has chosen to act in a manner that is in their own best interest or as a result of the trauma and harm that has been done to them. They have afflicted upon us harm as a result. 

When we are struggling, it helps to put things into perspective.

Is this something in life we all have to go through at some point – death, illness, life’s storms? Or is this something that I brought upon myself because of my carelessness or rebellion? Or was this a result of someone else’s negligence or desire to harm?

God gives us solutions in every case.  For life’s storms, literal and figurative, He encourages us to rely on Him for strength and to look to each other for support. These things can be weathered. They will pass. In Canada, when the snowstorm hits, everyone comes out to help each other, to shovel and plow, provide food and warmth, and look out for each other.

When we have brought troubles on ourselves, God invites us to make changes and fix the mistakes. Again, we can turn to Him for strength. He believes in us and loves us. He encourages us to reach out for support from loved ones and organizations for help. These moments can be humbling but humble reminds us of what really is important in life.

And lastly, when we have suffered because of someone else’s choices, negligence, selfishness or desire to do harm, please know that God did not do this to you. Quite the opposite, He loves you and is heartbroken when you suffer in this way. He will strengthen you, heal you, buoy you up. These are the moments when He sends angels to support you. Real angels, you may not see them, but they are there, and earthly angels. People who will perform tiny acts of kindness and sometimes move mountains to be there for you.

When life’s trial, troubles and affliction come barreling down on you, remember the words of Alma to his sons “as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day” Alma 38:5

You can and will be delivered from it all. The sun will shine again, and you will see all who support you through every moment.

What deliverance have you found from life’s storms? Who was there for you during your darkest moments? What changes can you make to alleviate some of your own troubles? How can you better be there for others knowing that we all are going through the same things?

“God is love. God will undo every block. God will right every wrong. God will bring everyone home.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

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Helping hands and small acts of kindness

“As I see God’s goodness and greatness, I am filled with love and life and light, which is the fountain of living waters.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

Last week I attended a lovely retreat with 3 other beautiful ladies. We learned and grew together and got to know each other.

When I casually mentioned that I was on a mission after high school, one of the ladies asked me about it. They were surprised to learn that I served in California. They thought maybe I had gone to a third world country. I explained that I served in the Sacramento Valley and moved around to 5 different areas in 18 months.

The next question was “what did I do there?” I taught and did service projects. My companion and I and sometimes partnering up with other missionaries, we provided service to the local families and service organizations. We helped put up a fence for a family to make the area safe for their young children. We helped at the local emergency food depot by stocking shelves or distributing food to poor families and the homeless. We helped out at local spay and neuter clinic by cleaning cages.

We visited the sick and elderly, helped prepare meals and tutored a young student in math.

In the areas I served there was a great deal of poverty. Families living in homes under a couple hundred square feet that were meant to be temporary construction housing for the men who built the Shasta dam in the 1940’s or living in campgrounds in 20 foot travel trailers.

No matter who we served, we came to love and appreciate them.

I discovered that there is need everywhere. We don’t have to go to South America or Africa or Syria or Haiti in order to make a difference in the world. It comes down to small acts of kindness and helping hands to make life just a little bit better for someone or their family.

What have you done lately to be of service in your community? What sort of things would you like to get involved in and when will you start? What can you do to become a beacon of light and hope to those around you?

“As I gratefully receive and share that love with others, it again fills me with more love and life and light, and it heals me and others, springing up into everlasting life. I can then become a beacon of light and hope.” 

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

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The Art of De-stressing

“I had found a creative outlet for expressing and it was healing.”

Laura Lane from ‘Two Mothers One Prayer’

This week and last, I have been sharing an excerpt from my book “Two Mothers One Prayer”. The five tips that I share in the book are the importance of Reaching Out, Connecting, Reflecting, Expressing and Loving through difficult times.  I hope you will find a little nugget of truth or an idea that can help you in your life as you read this excerpt from the second half of chapter 10 Express.

“To release stress, express.

Another way to release is to do something physical or creative. Go for a walk or a run. If your schedule allows, plan at least a little bit of exercise. It may not always be possible. My running came to a halt when we spent months in Toronto at Sick Kids, so instead I got creative.

What happened next became a story unto itself and opened up a new very healing world to me.

During chemo, Celeste’s stepmom, Michelle, and I would take turns spending the night with Celeste. We would alternate twenty-four hours on and twenty-four hours off, swapping places just after lunchtime each day. When Michelle would arrive at the hospital, I would head back to Ronald McDonald House to eat dinner, do laundry, and rest.

These evenings were long and boring and gave me too much time on my own to think about Celeste. I don’t normally watch TV and after a few bad experiences staying up to watch Hoarders and Storage Wars for too many hours, I realized I needed something to occupy my time so I wouldn’t go crazy.

Downstairs, the house had a craft room for activities for the children staying at RMH. I asked the staff if I could use the craft room late at night when everyone was asleep. They said, “I don’t see why not!”

I stopped by the dollar store on the way back from the hospital to pick up paints and canvasses, and then, at eleven o’clock at night, I laid my canvasses out on the craft table and started painting.

I love to paint acrylic abstract impressionism and that night I painted six paintings. When I was done, I gingerly carried them, one by one, up to my room to dry. I photographed them with my cell phone camera and the next day showed them off to Celeste.

“Look what Mummy did last night!”

It felt so good to do something creative and something just for me. It had been years since I had had an opportunity to paint with four children at home and no real craft/office space to use for my projects.

I decided to post the photos on my Facebook page and rename it Laura Lane, Author, Poet, and Artist. At my next opportunity to go home on the bus to my husband Matt, I packaged the paintings all up and took them with me.

Matt loved my paintings and asked if the next time I could paint using particular colours that he liked: red, black, silver, and gold. I agreed, but I had never done that before, having someone else suggest colours for me to use.

I took four canvasses and painted each a different background colour, then started layering and creating each canvas as I felt inspired by the colours. It worked wonderfully.

The next day when I was showing off my new paintings to Celeste, I suggested she choose four colours and I would create more paintings based on those colours. She chose blue, green, purple, and silver.

At my next opportunity in the craft room, I did another series of paintings. Celeste loved them. I then emailed Laurie and Hayley to tell them what I had been doing on my nights off and asked Hayley to choose four colours as well. Her colors were purple, pink, blue, and yellow.

I emailed the photos once I completed her paintings. Hayley’s favorite she named Waves and it became my signature piece and my favorite too. It is the painting that has been incorporated onto the cover of this book.

It was such a blessing to me to be creative on my nights at Ronald McDonald House and it was thrilling to hear others people’s positive feedback. One day the staff at RMH had come into my room for a regular safety inspection and were so surprised to find my little exhibit of paintings propped up all around the room.

I completed twenty-four paintings in those three months. I didn’t quite know what to do with them. I had recently visited the Art Gallery of Ontario and viewed their contemporary art exhibit. An idea welled up within me. Maybe I could exhibit the paintings and tell people about Celeste and Hayley.

I wanted to express the story of our girls—the miracles we were experiencing—and tell about the power of prayer. I had all the paintings professionally photographed then set about finding galleries who were interested in showing the exhibit. I named the exhibit Two Girls, One Prayer.

I also decided I would auction off the paintings to raise money for Ronald McDonald House and Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto and to help with Hayley’s medical bills.

I met an artist and curator at the QB Gallery in Thorold who was willing to exhibit the paintings. Soon enough, the paintings were framed and hung on the gallery walls. Local journalists interviewed me and took my picture. I was showing my work and telling the world about Celeste and Hayley.

The exhibit opening was December 2011. Other galleries agreed to have the exhibit in January and February. The February date was for the grand opening of a new gallery owned by the artist who had illustrated my children’s book that I had released the previous summer. We had known each other for a number of years and I felt I knew her and trusted her.

Five days after the opening, this artist was arrested in the middle of the night for setting fire to her own gallery. All of my paintings and her life’s work were lost in the fire. I was devastated. She was sentenced to prison for arson. There is no way of knowing or understanding why she did what she did. It was a tough setback.

We had found a creative outlet for expressing and it was healing. The girls were excited about the art gallery exhibits. To have that literally go up in flames was quite a blow.

Right after the fire, I attended an event Bob Proctor was hosting in Toronto. To be surrounded by positive creative people who encouraged me to look for the silver lining and pick up the pieces and move on was truly inspirational. By the end of the day, I was determined to have prints made of the paintings that were lost in the fire. I would create more paintings and put a call out to other artists to donate pieces to the art auction.

My auction would now be bigger and better than I originally planned.

Expression comes in different ways. I have asked for some of the ashes of the art gallery fire so that they can be used to create a special piece of art, just like a phoenix being born out of the ashes.

I continue to express with my art and continue to rebuild my life. I have now opened my own office, studio, and gallery. Creating abstract paintings with four colours has become my signature style. It has remained a creative outlet for me. It was and continues to be an emotional lifesaver for me.

I highly recommend everyone find some sort of creative outlet, some way to express. Just as you need to express your feelings by talking with a trusted someone, you need to express nonverbally too.

You never know where the expressing of yourself will lead you. Being courageous enough to be vulnerable, to open our hearts up, can lead us to deeper relationships with God, friends, and family, and it can provide peace. You may even find you love it!

What can you or are you doing already that is physical or creative expression of the emotions you feel on a daily basis?

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

Brene Brown

The post The Art of De-stressing first appeared on Laura Lane.

Reaching Out, Connecting, Reflecting, Expressing and Loving through difficult times

“You have to have find ways to express all that is going on within you. It is essential that you express and let go of all the emotions that come up during this difficult time. This can also be one of the hardest things to do.”

Laura Lane from ‘Two Mothers One Prayer’

This week and next I thought I would share an excerpt from my book “Two Mothers One Prayer”. The five tips that I share in the book are the importance of Reaching Out, Connecting, Reflecting, Expressing and Loving through difficult times.  I hope you will find a little nugget of truth or an idea that can help you in your life as you read this excerpt from chapter 10 Express.

“Celeste had started her first round of chemo and she had thrown up countless times. Each time she threw up, I held the little bucket for her, wiped her face, handed her a cup of water, put that bucket aside, and reached for a new one. We washed, rinsed, and repeated all day.

The smell in her room was less than pleasant. This particular day, I hadn’t eaten much at all. I was now feeling weak and nauseated from the stress and the smell. I felt so bad. I felt terrible for Celeste, yet I didn’t know how I was going to handle this for four to six months.

When the nurses came in to tend to Celeste, I slipped out of the room and walked down to the nurse’s station. I pulled Linh, our favorite nurse, aside and told her how I was feeling. I needed to know it was normal.

Linh hugged me and assured me it was OK to feel that way. With tears in my eyes, I thanked her. She encouraged me to take a little break and have some dinner.

I just needed someone to talk to, reassure me, and help me build my strength back up to keep going. This is such an important step in coping. You cannot do it alone and you cannot keep it all bottled up inside. Reach out. Connect. Reflect. Express.

You have to have find ways to express all that is going on within you.

It is essential that you express and let go of all the emotions that come up during this difficult time. This can also be one of the hardest things to do.

Expressing requires allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It requires sharing what is in our hearts and minds, and that takes courage. Brené Brown, in The Gifts of Imperfection, talks a great deal about courage. She explains: “The root of the word courage is cor—the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ . . . that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.”

It has taken courage to write this book and share our experiences with everyone, but even harder for me was expressing in my journal all the emotions I was feeling at the time. Some days I could do it and some days (for many months), I couldn’t.

I had to find other ways to express how I was feeling. Some days I prayed my heart out and others I cried my eyes out. Other days I found someone to talk to, and many times I couldn’t wait to talk to Laurie on the phone because I knew she understood.

No matter which way I expressed my feelings, frustrations, and fears, it always felt better afterward. I also learned it’s important to find the right person for the job.

Barry Goldman explains in an LA Times article how to best know whom to share your frustrations with when dealing with delicate situations. He calls it the “‘Ring Theory of Kvetching.”

Kvetching means to complain (I had to look it up!). He explains that the “first rule is comfort in, dump out.” When his wife, Susan, developed breast cancer, she developed a theory on who was allowed to complain to whom. It works like this:

“Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma . . . Repeat the process as many times as you need to.

“In each larger ring, put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones. When you are done, you have a Kvetching Order.

“Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, ‘Life is unfair’ and ‘Why me?’ That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.

“Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.

“When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it.

“Don’t, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don’t need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘This must really be hard for you’ or ‘Can I bring you a pot roast?’

“Don’t say, ‘You should hear what happened to me’ or ‘Here’s what I would do if I were you.’ And don’t say, ‘This is really bringing me down.’

“If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that’s fine. It’s a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring.

“Comfort IN, dump OUT.”

I wish I had read this when we first started out, but this “ring theory” has been invaluable since. I never complained to Celeste but venting to my husband was totally fair game. Most people get this intrinsically, but you may meet or know a few people who could use this reminder.

So go ahead and find someone you trust who is a step or two away from the centre of the action. (Obviously today your child is in the centre ring and you are in one of the closest rings). Find a person who is out and complain away and do a bit of emotional dumping. You’ll need that release; it’s a stressful time. To release stress, express.”

Who can you turn to as a listening ear to help you as you go through difficult times? What other ways have you found to express your emotions and let go of your stress?

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage”

Brene Brown

The post Reaching Out, Connecting, Reflecting, Expressing and Loving through difficult times first appeared on Laura Lane.

Working smarter, not Harder

Affirmation for this week: “I am worthy. I am whole. I am magnificent. I am a son or daughter of God.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

As I have gone through the last week I, like usual, have pushed myself too hard and have been exhausted more days than not. I lay in bed recovering, thinking of everything I do and how important it feels that I do it all.

I realized that as much as I’m pretty sure that God is pleased with the work I am doing, I also realized that God loves me even more than the work I do.

He loves the contribution I make in the world, but it is not more important than me. My calling in life, my purpose, my work, isn’t supposed to wear me out, exhaust me, or deplete me completely. I am not to him a slave or something to be thrown out once it has served its purpose when worn out or broken down.

I am His beautiful child.

I can choose to consecrate my work by partnering with Him. He is not a hard taskmaster. He is kind and loving Father who encourages us to take breaks, rest and rejuvenate ourselves so we are at our best to do the next task at hand.

Even Jesus rested and stepped away from his followers to take time to be alone with God and restore his energies.

“Consecrate” means to make sacred and when you look at the etymology of the word, it breaks down to “con” Latin for with or together and “secrate” comes from the Latin word “sacarer” meaning sacred or made holy by association with divinity.

So, if I consecrate my work, I am choosing to partner with God to accomplish great things.

Jesus promised us that when we partner with him, he will make our burdens light. 

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30 (See my newsletter from March 26th to learn more about how Jesus lightens our burdens)

So again, as I considered how I have been feeling lately, I realized that first, God doesn’t expect me to wear myself out. Second, if I am feeling a heavy burden then my next step needs to be share my load with Him, partner with Him, seek His help more to accomplish the work in my life. 

As the old adage goes, work smarter not harder. I easily fall into the work harder trap, now I need to remember to work smarter by not doing it alone.

What weight do you attempt to carry alone that you could use divine help with? What do you need a rest from so that you will be your best self?

“The Saviour promises to give us rest, to find rest unto our heart and soul through love and healing.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

The post Working smarter, not Harder first appeared on Laura Lane.

Special Planning for Special Moms

“Verily, I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness. For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good, they shall in nowise lose their reward”

Doctrine and Covenants 58:27-28

The last few years I have been anxiously engaged in a good cause. After I wrote my book “Two Mothers One Prayer: Facing your child’s cancer with Hope, Strength & Courage”, about my daughter Celeste and another beautiful little girl Hayley, after the book was published and I was connecting with the pediatric oncology community and other cancer moms, I asked a whole bunch of moms if they would share their best advice. I asked them, “What is the one thing you wish you knew when your child was first diagnosed? What do you know now that you wished someone had told you days, weeks, months earlier?”

They came back with some wonderful advice. But I also noticed that a number of moms mentioned the importance of keeping track of everything. I remembered all the things we had to keep track of when Celeste was diagnosed. Diagnosis, treatment plans, medical team, appointments, medications, symptoms, reactions, blood counts etc. plus everything that was going on at home. Who was helping with meals or laundry, who was talking Desiree to soccer practice and who was picking up Grayson from daycare. So many things to organize.

That’s when I started thinking about designing a planner just for cancer moms. I made a list of everything that needed to be in the planner then I found a designer to help me turn it into something beautiful as well as useful.

Fast forward 3 years and we have now had 4 print runs and distributed 600 planners to 11 hospitals across Canada and New York State. We have been able to give away the planners through generous donations, partnerships with local businesses and local grants. So far, we have delivered planners to families in Vancouver, Edmonton, Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Ottawa, Toronto, Hamilton, London, Buffalo, NY and Omaha, NE.

We have had an amazing partnership with Castle Niagara Building & Design Center in Fonthill, Ontario. This spring they partnered with the Niagara Ice Dogs hockey team and Country 98 and GiantFM radio stations to announce that for every goal the Ice Dogs made during the season, Castle Niagara would sponsor another planner! At the last game of the season the staff from GiantFm and Kevin Brolibruck from Castle Niagara presented us with a cheque for $3,000.

Most recently,  Stronger: The Daily Planner for the Most Amazing Mothers on the Planet  just won a Spark award from the LDSPMA association, which will be presented at their annual conference in October in Utah.

Additionally, another one of our partners, Maljohn Plastics Company Ltd located in both Hamilton Ontario and Regina, Saskatchewan, announced that they are going to match all donations made in September for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. They have pledged to match up to $5,000 in donations and when we reach $5,000 they will not only match it but will pledge an additional $5,000!

Project Forgive run by Emmy award winning journalist Dr. Shawne Duperon has generously spotlighted my short story, “A day in the life of a cancer mom”. If you have ever wondered what a day in the hospital looks like this is only a 6 min read. Dr Shawne describes it as: “This breathtakingly, beautifully written article shares the realities for moms dealing with cancer and what their families face every day.”

If your family has been impacted by cancer and you would like to support our project, feel free to check out the Stronger Daily Planner website and email our team with the contribution you would like to make.

 I can share with you that the mothers who are receiving the planners are reporting how grateful they are to have them.

“Thank you so much for donating these wonderful and thoughtful daily planners. I handed them out yesterday and a mom this morning pulled me aside and was RAVING about how amazing it is. She said she definitely wants more!!  Thank you so much,” Allie Jones, CCLS , Child Life Specialist,  John R. Oishei Children’s Hospital, Buffalo NY.

Please help us reach our goal of distributing these planners to 1000’s of families across North America and raise more awareness of childhood cancer during September and become “anxiously engaged in a good cause.” #ChildhoodCancerAwarenessMonth

“As we pray for {and then support] others, it helps us to develop more compassion and charity and develop unselfishness.”

Laura Lane from ‘I Touch the Heavens’

The post Special Planning for Special Moms first appeared on Laura Lane.

Finding Direction

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them.”

Jack Canfield, Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul book series

Today I was reminded of an experience I had at Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success event back in 2007. It was the last day of a full week of trainings and activities. We had had an amazing week. Of all the things we did that week, I can remember this final activity as if it was yesterday. It has helped to see more clearly who I am and how I operate in the world.

Jack had asked his staff and volunteers to clear all the chairs out of the conference room that had seated his 400 participants all week. The volunteers were then asked to spread themselves out around the perimeter of the conference room. Our very vague instructions were that we were to close our eyes, we weren’t allowed to speak but we could make noises, just no talking. We were not allowed to grope or hurt anyone, and we couldn’t sit down. Other than that, it was up to us what we did during the allotted time. The volunteers were there to make sure we were safe and to stop us from bumping into walls.

“One, two, three, every one close your eyes.” The only part I don’t remember exactly was how much time we were given – 10, 15 or 20 minutes. Either way it felt like a long time.

I stood there in my perceived darkness listening to the sounds of the people around me. Someone on one side of the room called out a wolf howl and someone replied from the other side of the room. And the noise began. There were howls, yelps, and whistles. As they called to each other, a group amassed in the center of the room. A party had clearly started.

At first, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I had no intention of joining the huge party but I didn’t want to just stand there either. My left brain kicked in. I needed a plan. And plan I did. I decided to go on an adventure. I was going to circumnavigate the room. I put my hands out in front of me and headed to where I though the nearest wall was.

I knew the volunteers wouldn’t let me hit the wall, but I would get as close as possible and when they turned me back to face the room, I would head 90 degrees parallel to the wall until I hit the next one. 

In my travels, as I bumped into others, I would walk around them and carry on. This worked for the first few individuals until I stumbled on a small group. They were all giving each other shoulder massages. It was so easy to get lost in the group. It wasn’t long before I realized I had no intention of doing that for whole time. I had a plan, and it was time to return to it.

As I approached a wall, and I was so sure I knew where I was and which way I was facing, but every time I made my 90-degree turn, the volunteers kept pointing me again and again back the way I came. I realized it was useless. I was going to have to try something else. If I simply walked forward eventually, I would have to get to another wall even if it was clearly right across the room.

But that meant I might end up walking right through the party in the middle of the room.

I had just made it right into the thick of it when Jack called for everyone’s attention. He explained that what we were doing was a representation of how we live our life. He asked us to think about that. We still had our eyes closed and we were going to continue the activity, but now that we knew the purpose of the activity, what would we like to do differently?

When I thought about it, I liked my plan. I was on a mission but the one thing I wanted to do differently, was that I didn’t want to do it alone. But how do you ask people to join you if you can’t speak?

Jack resumed the activity and I again put my hands out in front of me and started to walk. This time though when I bumped into someone, I put my hands their shoulder and walked my hand down their arm until I found their hand. Once I was holding their hand, I simply pulled to invite them to come with me.

To my absolute surprise that person simple came along. Off we walked until I bumped into the next person. This time when I found their hand, I added their right hand to the left hand of person I was already holding. And to my absolute surprise they came along for the ride as well.

I continued to walk and kept adding people to the end the chain. I was absolutely amazed that so many people were willing to come along with me. None of them knew where we were going. Only I did, but they were happy to be led along. I didn’t have anyone refuse to come with me.

By the time Jack announced we could stop and open our eyes I had 5 or 6 individuals all following me on my adventure.

Later that evening over dinner a group of us shared our experiences that day. A few individuals shared that they were terrified. One said she just stood there frozen in fear, the other admitted she stood there and cried. Another admitted she was happy to join the party in the centre of the room, making noises and giving back rubs.

We were all in the same room but each of us had different responses to the same challenge.

What do you think you would do if you participated in the activity?

Every time I reflect on that day, that activity, it helps me to remember that I am goal oriented and that helps me to keep moving forward in life. I don’t let much distract me.  

And what do you think this type of activity would say about your personality and how you live your life?

The biggest aha for me in the middle of the activity was realizing that I didn’t want to be alone. Once I realized that, it became the catalyst for becoming a leader and it helped me to see how many people were happy to have someone take them by the hand. I am not exactly clear why they came with me, they may have been lonely too, or wanted direction. Either way it was helpful to both of us.

When you analyze your life and how you have been living it so far, what would you do differently?

“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

Wayne Dyer

The post Finding Direction first appeared on Laura Lane.